Also, Seo Yeji sating wow everytime she sees Kim So hyun?? A Mood.

LISTEN!!! This drama can’t be this fucking good already!! What am I gonna do for the next 8 weeks??! It started off a little funky not gonna lie. The editing after the stop animation scenes were all over the place, the music blaring and in your face and I pretty much hated the directing. But halfway through from the moment they both start thinking of each other before sleeping…everything just polishes itself out?? The direction just gets smoother, music is beautifully understated and such a mood with the whole lighting and him reading that story and everything is just ahh!! So fucking good!!

Safely made it out of the Airbnb situation. Now at Oxford for the day. I’m going to Leigh Bardugo’s book signing and I’m practically vibrating with excitement!! 😍😍

Kang Ha neul isn’t even trying in Camellia and I already fucking love him sooo much!! Why is his character the perfect blend of idiotically goofy and ernest?? Why is he so perfect??

I’m really happy they didn’t have Tammy suddenly decide she wanted to marry Park Morgan after all. In almost every single Kdrama, the powerful, independant, ambitious woman finds a man and then somehow realizes she’s wanted that nuclear family dream after all. She compromises bits and pieces of herself to fit his ideal better. To be the softer woman.

Its probably not intentional. The changes are supposed to show how love changes a person. She’s not that cold, harsh woman anymore. She melts, her sharp edges softer. Think I need romance 3 where a top career woman ends up falling for a younger guy who teaches her not to be so jaded and to believe in love again.

I love romances but I’m just so sick and tired of watching women date and then end up marrying when she’s been against marriage her whole life. I love love. But marriage isnt for everyone. That kinda life isnt for everyone. As someone who doesn’t want marriage and kids, its fraustrating to watch shows that keep telling me that the woman will eventually change her mind and settle down when she finds “the one” like my feelings are totally invalid. Like I don’t know myself.

I’m so happy that they dont do that for Tamny’s charcater. Yes she loves Morgan. And yes they reconcile. But she makes it clear that they haven’t talked out their differences. They will probably bring this up again and fight again and break up again. But the show leaves it there for the audience to interpret. Their future isnt set in stone and tammy doesn’t compromise her beliefs. I’m happy to just leave it there.

Search WWW: Finale thoughts

YOU GUYS!!! IM SCREAMINGGG!!! That whole finale episode and I was so scared they wouldn’t be able to wrap up everyone’s arcs. But then the last 15 mins or so just fucking killed me???

Seeing Song Ga Kyeong getting in her mother in law’s face and tearing her threats down was just soooo fucking satisfying!!! And then when she threatened her back?? SCREAMING! This is why they shouldn’t have backed her up against the wall. People with nothing left to lose are scary motherfuckers.

And speaking of, I knew she was going to have a change of heart and stand with Barro. But i never bought her explanation to Scarlet. But the whole end reveal scene when they show her fishing the dirt. She put up the statement on purpose when she knew what she had to gain and ahakkakakaka this woman’s fucking ruthless ambition just kills meeee!! I fucking love her!!

The ending stayed true to her character while showing how far along she’s come. But her scenes with her ex husband really broke my heart. I get why she had to lose everything to destroy the people in power. But its still sad.
I have hope they will end up together someday once this whole mess clears out.

And that ending scene. I totally thought it was her ex husband come to pick her up but when they revealed it was Tammy and Scarlet instead????? AGAJAKLALALALALALALAA!!!!!

You don’t know how much this show means to me. And for them to have an ending like that? With our powerful women on the top of their game. With them climbing the ladder of their ambition. And not sacrifising their ambitions, goals, or themselves for the sake of their male leads?? You don’t know how happy it makes me. I legit started to cry when I realized that’s the ending they were going for: not having our women compromise for the sake of love or worse, married and settled. But together. Powerful. Ambitious. Intelligent. And just being their boss selves. And doing it together. Competing with each other but having each other’s backs.

I just cry because that’s never the note that shows end up on. It’s always a compromise. It’s always a wedding or a fixed relationship. But this finale leaves things open ended. We don’t know where the road will lead our girls. How they end up in their relationships. But we know their friendship is solid. And that no matter what they will come out of it stronger in the end and always on top.
And that’s all that you really need to know about the future. It’s female.

Search WWW: Incoming Rant:

For once I would like a woman to say she’s not interested in marriage and for the world to just leave her be! Why does she have to change her mind somehow at the end of the drama for it to be a happy ending?? Why does the guy have to somehow manipulate her into things??? It happened with Esom’s character in “Because this is my first life” and I feel like it’s going to happen again for “Search WWW”.

I like Park Morgan and Bae Ta Mi. I like their chemistry. But no way in hell do I think he’s mature enough for her to consider marriage with him. Especially after seeing her insane chemistry with Wookie. They didn’t say much and yet you would read the history behind their gazes. His maturity is such a sharp contrast to Morgan’s specially these two episodes where he feels like a whiny kid. I like him, but I just feel he and Ta Mi are two completely different people in different stages in their lives. And that they want different things out of life. And while I’m fine with them dating I don’t want this drama to end with Ta Mi somehow realizing she wants to get married to him suddenly because love. I don’t see them being together long term and so help me god if she ends up married at the end I’ll riot!!!

At this point I’m just so damn tired of Park Morgan and this stupid back and forth they both keep doing. Clean we just eliminate the men as romantic lead from this drama?? They serving no purpose??

OMG! Someone talk to me! Is Search WWW going where I think it’s going or was that a weird bit of editing?? My shipper heart can’t handle the disappointment if it’s the latter!

You guys! I had to come out of my self imposed exile to rant about my week! I binge watched Possessed and He is Psychometric this week and I wasn’t prepared for the feels!!! IT HURTS! RIP me.

Hello my lovelies! Its been ages since I last spoke to you guys. How have you been? What are you guys watching?

I’m doing much better now. I got accepted to the University of Exeter for my MA in English Literary Studies for the Renaissance nad Medival pathway. I had been stressing about this for some time, but now that I got in that burden’s been lifted off my chest.

I’ll be going in September and would love to meet some beanies sometime. Anyone living in the UK?

Good morning beanies! How have you guys been doing? I miss posting comments and having conversations with you guys. I’ve been feeling a little depressed lately. Last month was particularly bad with my mood swinging all over the place. I would be fine one moment and just irrationally upset the next. Whenever I get like that I tend to just shut myself off from people which is just the worse thing to do. This time around though I’ve actively been working to make sure I don’t shut everyone out of my life or avoid people. It was hard but I went out and met some friends and told them what was really going on with me. It felt like a burden had been lifted off my chest and I wasn’t awkward round them or anxiously trying to avoid people. It was fine for a while, but last night around 3 am I just broke down crying in my room. My chest felt suffocated, I couldn’t breathe, and I just wanted to scream all the pain away. And it hurt. It still hurts this morning even though I look perfectly happy and fine. I’m at work tying this right now. I felt like I needed to share this with you guys.

I decided last night to take some time off for myself. I’m quitting my job in two weeks. It’s been a long time coming and I handed in my resignation 3 months ago. I think it’s time to take a break, breathe, and do some soul searching without feeling the overwhelming guilt of not doing anything relevant when all my friends are off to different countries living their lives. I want to take a break. I want to declutter my room and my life. I want to start yoga or go running and take care of myself. I put on about 7KG’s this year from just stress eating. Which is insane. I just let myself go in so many ways from feeling overwhelming guilt and not feeling good enough. Which is also insane because I’ve never lacked for self-confidence before. Feeling sort of worthless is new for me and yes it sucks. But this isn’t a pity party. This is me putting myself first and taking care of myself and taking a break to figure out my life and take control again.

All this is to say I might take a break from Dramabeans. I will be lurking here and reading/liking comments for sure. I’m still watching dramas (What’s wrong with Secretary Kim, Lawless Layer, Investigation Couple) but just not post as much. I have been working on my writing, writing reviews on Goodreads. I would also like to write some articles on what dramas mean for me. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while and now that I have free time I want to get to it. Hopefully you will see my posts soon. I love you guys. You have no idea how much it means to me to be on this Dramabeans and talk to you guys and gush over dramas. I’ll see you guys again soon.