Beanie level: Loan shark with a heart of gold

Hello Beanies!

Happy New Year 🎆❤

How have you been and how’s life been treating you? I hope you’re all well, happy and healthy. Some of you might’ve noticed that I disappeared from DB for a while, some of you sent texts/emails asking about me, for that I want to thank you all, it meant so much to me really, and I appreciate you all so very much.

These passed 5-6 months were tough, I got sick, Covid19 got me actually and it was just very ugly. It was exhausting both physically and mentally and every day was a battle that a part of me was sure I was going to lose.. my immune system was giving up on me and it was really hard not to do so myself. It took me a lot to pull myself together and feel like myself again and I still haven’t fully recovered from it all just yet but I’m here and I’m grateful for that, it’s a blessing I’ll never take for granted.

Anyways, 2021 might’ve not been the best of years but it did manage to leave me with some good memories, very few but good nonetheless. December was exceptionally good and yesterday was a perfect day, after the longest time it rained and I was actually able to go out and enjoy it.. (I had to beg SNG fot it but yeah!)

– I’m cold, I’m so so cold!
– Whose idea was this?
– You didn’t have to say okay to it, some of my ideas aren’t that great!
– Some?
– HEY!
– And wearing a silk dress was a great idea?
– You said it looked good!
– It does, but not for going out, not in this weather!
– I’m wearing a hoodie on top, okay!
– Two hoodies, my hoodies!
– You want your hoodies back, is that what you want? You want a fight?
– [laughs]
– Wait.. what time is it?
– [Checks his phone]: 12:07.
– NOo.. we missed new year!
– We didn’t miss new year!
– We missed doing the countdown!
– We didn’t miss doing the countdown, we can do it anytime we want, I’ll do one for you right now, from 10 or 5?
– It doesn’t work like that .. but 5 maybe!
– Okay.. 5, 4, 3, .. what.. why are you laughing?.. [Laughs]: You’re cold, you’re losing your mind, I’m taking you home.

Later at home:
– Azzo
– hmm?
– 2, 1!
– What?
– 2, 1 .. [smiles]: Happy new year!

So yeah, December left me with a full happy heart and you know what they say All’s Well that Ends Well.

24
18

    Also, beanies, thank you for all the notifs, I’ll get back to all of you as soon as I can, I promise ❤

    2
    1

      Happy New Year to you and SNG! I hope you’re feeling fully recovered soon and have a better year ahead.

      2
      1

        Thank you! I really hope so too, most of 2021 I just want to wipe from my memory!

        1
        0

    Oh no azzo, it was supposed to be such a lovely year for you. I’ve been thinking of you lately, especially this morning when I read a story about great wedding photos of the year (you will always be my favorite “met cute” bride). I am very sorry to hear what you have gone through. I wish you all good health starting now and the best to SNG, your sisters and all your families. ❤️

    2
    1

      Thank you, bbstl ❤
      I thought so too but nothing went as planned. I was in the hospital from end of July to end of September, I missed lots of things, including our first wedding anniversary.. it was a very dark time, I’m glad it’s over!

      1
      1

        Oh my word, 2 months in the hospital is completely shocking. I’m speechless at what you must have been through. Can only say, more ❤️❤️❤️

        0
        0

    I’ve been thinking of you. I’m glad you’re recovering and COVID Sucks. All the time. That was my year in review. But there is much to be grateful for, SNG included!

    2
    1

      It really does, it’s horrible, I really wish people don’t experience Covid at it’s worst, I’m desperately praying for its end!

      I am, I’m beyond grateful and for some reason I feel extremely guilty towards him too.. I don’t know why, I just do 🥲

      1
      0

    azzo, im glad you are back, every way. Covid is a bitch. though tiktoks mostly depict all variants as men.
    I suspect I had it in mild form, bc I had unusually runny nose in october, I couldnt go outside at all, it was pouring like from a bucket. my friend delivered food for me. and I also sweated a lot but didnt have a fever. they say such symptoms are common for ppl who are fully vaccinated and in my age group.
    I hope you will fully recover!!! I am pretty sure I got better quick because of my daily dose of Bogummy-bears.

    3
    1

      Thank you, redfox!
      I never got to take my vaccine then, I was supposed to go get my first dose but I got Covid two days before my appointment, I’m a high-risk so I knew it was going to be bad but I was not expecting it to take me down that fast! I actually only got my 2 doses of vaccine in December, they said it will help relieve some of the after-effects I’m having still, so hopefully!

      Lol, I’m sure that helped!

      2
      0

    Oh no! 😱
    This Virus… let’s hope omikron actually is good news… and the last reincarnation 🙏
    Wishing you speedy recovery… and I hope that next time we won’t hear from you for some time will be because of some happy news! 👶🙂

    2
    1

      I’m not sure really, things aren’t looking that good but hopefully we’ll see the end of it soon.
      Once I’m all recovered and things settle, then maybe, God willing 🙏🏻
      Thank you, Dorotka!

      0
      0

    Very glad to hear that you’re still with us. Hope you continue to get better.

    1
    1

    @azzo I want to wish you a speedy recovery!

    0
    0

    Oh Azzo. I’ve been thinking of you but didn’t expect Covid to be the reason why you weren’t here. Hope you get better soon and get rid of all the after effects you’re facing rn.

    0
    0

    Azzzoooo, sometimes when it rains in my part of the world, I wished it would rain on your side as well, just to make you smile. Covid is terrible and I’m glad you’re out of danger. May 2022 bring you and SNG good health and more happy moments!

    0
    0

    And here I was thinking you were blissfully enjoying your married life.

    So sorry to hear what you have been through. It sounds awful. I am relieved that you have recovered and that you have SNG right next to you making you smile.

    Take care. Thanks for dropping by and letting us know you are ok.

    0
    0

Kwang-soo ya!
This was harder than I thought .. thank you for all the laughs and thank you for making Running Man the highlight of my week for the passed 11 years.

You did well, you did so so well and you deserve all the happiness in the world ❤

Okay.. now I’m going to go rewatch the episode and cry a bit more!

20
3

    He does 😭😭😭😭😭😭

    2
    0

    😭 😭 😭

    1
    0

    I held up quite well until he started reading the letters 😭😭😭
    Haha wrote it so well that he indeed did his best that the viewers are as sad as them because of his departure.

    0
    0

Who is going to do all the PPL now?!

I can really just imagine him sitting like this on Running Man filming days and not knowing what to do with his life anymore!

Running man won’t be the same without him and I’m going to miss him so much!

13
0

I mean, it’s Kwang-soo, it’s our LEE KWANG SOO!!!

Our eternal Maknae, our Girafe (if he says that’s how you spell “Girafe” then that’s how you spell it, okay!)..

He always brought so much to this show and knowing how much he loves it just makes it harder to accept 😭

11
2

I was crying every time they looked at him or teased him or touched his head!

8
7

    Everyone was fighting hard to control their tears since the beginning of the episode. I’m tearing up now while reading your posts and looking at the gifs 😭😭😭

    1
    1

      I was tearing up from the day the news came out, this was the hardest.. you just think Kwang-soo will always stick around!

      0
      0

    hi Azzo 🙂 ,
    Not seeing you around lately, I guess life is keeping you busy 🙁 .
    Hoping you and your family are fine, take care and stay safe 😘
    (leaving some funny content, just because😆
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO-6WwomgIE )

    1
    1

      Hey Kudo,

      I know, sorry! I wish I had good news to tell you but honestly it’s just been Covid19, it got me and yeah, things just went from bad to worse very quickly. I’m okay now, trying to recover, pray for me 🥲🙏🏻

      I just went through your wall to check on you then remembered you usually take a break from DB around this time, so hopefully you’re all well and happy.

      I missed you ❤
      We should really find another way to contact each other, DB isn’t always practical and Discord is not my thing 😂

      1
      3

        Hi Azzo 🙂 ,
        gosh I read your fanwall post and replies, thought life kept you busy, never thought it was covid villain 😡😟.
        I’m so so glad you made it through, thank you Azzo for winning against Covid💙. I’m rooting and praying for you to recover completely 💪.
        I’m fine thank you 🙂 .
        I missed you too Azzo 😘
        I’m less and less on DB and my use of discord kinda change over last year 😅.
        Please contact me with DM on discord so that we can agree on a way to contact each other.
        Best wishes for 2022 Azzo to you and your family 🙂 !

        0
        0

        I miss you Azzo 🖤
        Hoping you recovered completely from Covid and that you and your family are all well 😘

        0
        0

        I miss you Azzo 🖤
        I finished “Earth Arcade”, you might like it, it’s like female version of NJTTW. Na PD having a hard time with young energetic female members 😂.
        Hoping you and your family are fine 😘.

        0
        0

So for the last few weeks I’ve been preparing myself for this week’s episode of Running Man, and I was telling myself that it was okay and that I wasn’t going to cry but I’m a proud Cry-baby so that didn’t work and I wasn’t prepared, not even one bit 😭💔

12
6

    I’m sad for you ☹️

    1
    1

    I watched it late at night and my head was not thanking me for that much congestion last night or today for that matter! 😭

    1
    1

      I didn’t watch it that night for that exact reason, still gets me very emotional, this one is going to take a lot of time to get over!

      1
      1

        I’ve only started watching since a couple years ago, basically since Gary left, but I was still sad since I grew so attached to everyone together! You could tell the hyungs were trying to stay strong, but Sechan crying made me cry though since he is usually so goofy. It’ll definitely be weird for a while.

        0
        0

Okay, so when my Maknae sister was 10 she gave me a band-aid and “For your pain!” she said, she had written that in English on the band-aid herself and had drawn a little heart next to it. I thought it was the cutest thing ever so I kept it in my bag and never used it.

Last year, on one of my first dates with SNG (fourth actually!) I accidently hurt his hand and got him a cut in between his thumb and index finger (I went for a handshake, I don’t know why I did that, he was surprised because he wasn’t expecting me to do that and I was surprised because I wasn’t expecting me to do that either. It got very awkward and my head went: “Make it quick, shake his hand and pull your hand fast!”, so I went to do exactly that and my index finger dug into his hand, it bled so much that I was mortified and I wished me dead). I always carry a little emergency kit with me in my bag but that day I had changed into a smaller bag in which my emergency kit didn’t fit. I kept apologizing to him and he kept saying that it was okay and that it didn’t even hurt (Liar! It left a scar, he has it till today!).

For the rest of that day I felt so guilty about it and I couldn’t stop staring at his hand. I did have my sister’s band-aid with me but it was too precious to give to some guy I barely knew (hehe!). At the end of the day, he walked me to my car and caught me staring at his hand so he told me again that it was okay and that I should forget about it. I hesitated A LOT but my guilt won and I gave him that band-aid and told him to put it himself because, yeah, I wasn’t going to touch him after what I did, he laughed but said thank you.

Today SNG asked me to get him something from his wallet and I have a rule of not touching people’s wallets (Yes, even his! He thinks it’s hilarious that I look away when he pays for things.. but I feel like I shouldn’t look 😅), so I asked him if he’s giving me full permission to do that and he laughed at “full permission” but “Yes! Just go!”, so I did and guess what I found? YES! THAT BAND-AID!!!

I literally ran to him with it and went: “YOU KEPT THIS!” and he laughed. He laughed so much and then got so embarrassed like I just saw something I shouldn’t have (see, that’s why I don’t touch wallets!).

– Give me that!
– Why didn’t you use it?
– [Still all red and embarrassed]: I don’t know.. give me!
– You kept it!
– I did.. [in a tiny voice]: it was the first thing you gave me! [Then]: I gave you chocolates and sweets.. and flowers you didn’t take, and you gave me a cut and a band-aid!

He’s forever holding a grudge against me for those flowers!

Also, WHY SO ADORABLE?

33
29

    I still hope you are saving all these to eventually publish the whole set somewhere.

    8
    1

      I am and I have a lot more saved that I never shared! If I do ever publish this you’ll be the first one to know!

      7
      1

        reading this latest installment of the little vignettes of your life that you share, reminds me a bit of the Chinese novel I Don’t Like This World, I Only Like You, which was dramatized in Le Coup de Foudre. I mean, you and SNG have a completely different story, but the way you write about things is just so much fun.

        Also, I better be second. Just saying.

        3
        1

          Now I need to read this and keep it for future reference!

          Also, .. umm.. I do actually have a book published but I can’t tell you more, you’ll find it and then you’ll find me and there goes the little anonymity I have on DB, I can’t afford to lose that just yet. But, I promise, if and when I do write that book about SNG and I, you’d be the second one to know!

          5
          0

    ❤️ I take it this means he’s well now. So many adorable stories that I’m looking forward to the novel and subsequent drama.

    6
    1

      He is and he’s still taking advantage of the whole “being sick” thing and making me do things I wouldn’t usually do ( but I’m letting him 🤭)

      I don’t know about anyone else but @egads will be the first one to watch that drama!

      4
      0

    Thank you for such an adorable story first thing in the morning.
    Also, hey azzo! 👐

    3
    1

      Thank you for reading!
      Nice to see you back on DB, gadis, *waves back*

      1
      0

    Why are you so adorable? Why is HE so adorable? WEA????????? Thanks for the story. And the picture. I loved it!

    3
    2

      I cut his hand, how does that make me adorable?! He on the other hand, totally is 🤭

      1
      1

        By having that bandage, keeping it safe, just for him!

        1
        0

      Such a well-placed and emphasised “WEA?????????”, ally.😁

      1
      0

    Awwww so adorable you two! Glad that SNG is well!

    1
    1

    oh no, honestly you two are so adorable it makes me tear up 😢

    2
    1

    💖💖

    1
    1

    This is so kilig!!! I love people who keep small stuff like these!

    2
    1

      Funny thing is, my sister doesn’t remember giving me this now, she can’t believe that she could do cute things like this, LOL!

      0
      0

    You two are so cute! ☺️💕

    1
    1

    Oh my heart, azzo! You do this to me every single time!!💗

    2
    1

    aiyoo~ why so cute you two ?!

    1
    1

So SNG got covid.. yeah!

A few nights ago he got really sick and feverish and we went to the hospital and got tested, his results came out positive and mine came out negative. The second he found out about that he was like \”You, ten feet apart!\”, and then he told me he\’d go and quarantine in one of those quarantining facilities which I thought made no sense but he said that if there was any chance of me still not getting it he wouldn\’t want to risk it. So he called the facility, booked himself a room and drove himself there all in the same day.. there\’s your noble idiot, Beanies!

It\’s been 4 days now and he says he is okay but he doesn\’t sound so okay, he says there is no fever just a nasty cough which he was told is going to stay with him long after all the other symptoms are gone. He wants me to stop sending him food because \”They feed us here, you know!\”, and he also wants me to tell my mom and my mother-in-law to stop sending him these \”immunity boosting\” juices because \”they taste terrible\”.  I asked him how he is with our first time apart and he said he woke up this morning and burst out laughing because he remembered what I did last week (I woke up and saw two hands that were not mine and not his and that made me jump out of bed so fast that it almost gave him a heart-attack, turned out they were my hands, they were just so tanned I couldn\’t recognize them.. yeah, I do things like that sometimes 🙈), so I told him at least living with me has been entertaining so far!

We still don\’t know where he got the virus from and we don\’t know how I didn\’t get it too, I don\’t understand how\’s that possible but being high-risk they\’re all just glad that it worked out this way. I\’m still quarantining at home though, my sisters offered to come stay with me, I said no just to be safe, I don\’t have any symptoms, a little headache, yes, but that\’s probably all the stress. None of us is vaccinated yet, only our parents, because you have to be in a certain age-group to get a vaccine here, but they\’ve told us August, so hopefully soon, I can\’t wait to be done and over with this!

So yeah, 4 days down 6 more to go, pray all goes well and pray he recovers fast, I might be joking and laughing about this but it actually is kind of terrifying.

Stay safe and healthy Beanies, and get the vaccine if it\’s available, and you can and are eligible for it.

25
49

    Hoping SNG gets well soon. Don’t stress too much Azzo, just pray.
    And btw my sister’s entire family got Covid and not her. She’s also high risk and it was her unscientific guess that it may be because of some meds that she takes, don’t believe that though.

    5
    1

      Thank you, wapzy.
      I’m trying not to but with everything we hear it’s really not easy!

      They told me I wasn’t any special case and that this has happened with other families too, my mom believes it’s all her prayers!

      4
      0

    I hope SNG has a swift recovery and you stay negative. This is so hard, and having to be apart from everyone for safety makes it that much more difficult.

    4
    1

      Thank you. Honestly, it is a lot harder then I thought it’ll be, I’m just glad our parents are fully vaccinated and I don’t have to worry too much about them!

      3
      1

    I hope your husband has a speedy recovery Azzo!

    4
    1

    Hoping for SNG’s speedy recovery! You can do it SNG!

    5
    1

    Oh no! Sending lots of love and positive thoughts for a full and fast recovery for SNG. Also praying that you stay untouched by this awful virus. At least this is a noble idiocy period that makes sense. Please take care and send SNG my wishes for his recovery.

    5
    1

      Thank you, mugyuljoie, I will!

      I woke up today to body aches, so I don’t know, but could be all the rearranging I’m doing with our furniture, he’ll probably come back to a whole new home at this point!

      1
      1

    Hoping SNG gets well soon and you stay negative.

    3
    1

    I hope that he gets well soon!

    1
    1

    Oh, Azzo. I’m so sorry. Wishing SNG a speedy recovery and that symptoms just fade away soon.
    Also, you take care of yourself, eat properly and get some sleep, because when we are stressed and exhausted there are more chances to get sick.
    Sending you two all the beanie love. It’s just one day less until you two are together at home.

    2
    1

      Aw, Eazel, thank you.

      Going to the beach is my stress reliever but I can’t do that now, so I’ve been working out like my life depends on it! Don’t worry about me, I’m eating properly, but sleep is kind of hard these days!

      1
      0

    Sending get well wishes to SNG. Stay safe azzo. All the best to you and your family!

    1
    1

      Thank you, Korfan.
      You too, take care and stay healthy and happy.

      1
      0

    I’ll pray for his recovery and return fast to home , stay safe all of you .
    Hugs Azzo 💜💜💜💜💜

    1
    1

    Oh no! I hope he gets well soon, Azzo. You be safe too.

    1
    1

    Prayers for SNG and you and getting those vaccines ASAP!

    1
    1

      Thank you, Ally.
      They’ve been really slow with the vaccine rollouts, we’re about 4 million here and they’ve vaccinated only 290K so far.

      1
      0

    My best wishes to SNG. I hope he recovers well and you guys are safe.

    1
    1

    Hope he recovers quickly. Lots of warm thoughts for you and your family.

    1
    1

    Wishing him a full and fast recovery.
    All will go well, Azzo, fighting! Hugs 💕

    1
    1

    I hope SNG gets well soon and I also hope that your next test result will be negative. Take care of yourself, rest and sleep well

    1
    1

      Thank you! They actually called me today to ask if I’m having any symptoms like fever and cough, I said no, so they said I don’t need to get another test but they will call me in another 2 days to check again!

      2
      1

    1st, speedy recovery to SNG and hoping you stay healthy Azzo!

    2nd, i legit was wondering what artist SNG is short for then it clicked that it’s Azzo’s post – so it’s DB’s own star couple. Hehe..

    3rd, not recognising your own hands?? I swear you’re coming straight from the land of romcom drama-heroines!

    Take care & stay safe 💐

    4
    2

      Azzo is DB’s drama heroine for sure. Her whole story is perfect kdrama material!

      3
      0

      Thank you, Parkchuna!

      You know, a lot of the time when I’m writing “SNG” my head goes Lee Seung-gi so maybe we should go back to calling him Sticky Note Guy again!

      Will you believe me if I tell you that it wasn’t the first time? I’ve actually done it before, and that time I jumped with a scream so loud it woke up the whole house, my parents called me crazy 😅

      2
      0

    Hoping SNG will recover soon and that you’ll stay safe and have some good sleep !
    If you ever need mumbling bgm (😂) let me know (on another channel 😉 )
    or if you need other bgm, here’s my latest teleworking bgm (don’t ask me why, YT reco’ + mood for some classics 😋)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v1CFv-iuwE

    2
    1

      Thank you, Kudo!
      Last night I actually slept pretty good. I might drop by sometime soon just for your mumbling, I still feel so awkward over there, like I just don’t know what to do 😅

      I’ll check your youtube bgm, thank you.

      1
      1

        “I just don’t know what to do” err neither do I , I just post about this and that and try to lurk randomly , chaos has some nice surprises sometimes 🙂
        Also I might promote my mumbling more than I actually mumble 😂 , like I only sang 3 or 4 times since joining hehe

        1
        0

    Oh Azzo, I’m so sorry to hear about SNG – here’s wishing him a speedy recovery!

    Take good care of yourself and stay safe too!

    1
    1

      Thank you, KdramaAhjumma!
      I will and I am, you too, wishing you and your family all the health and happiness.

      1
      0

    Oh azzo, I’m really sorry to hear that Covid caught you guys ☹️ Your families must be so worried. I hope SNG will have a relatively easy time of it and that you stay virus free and can be together soon! Don’t let SNG wander around the house at night until he’s used to the new furniture layout ❤️

    2
    1

      People around us started getting it so it all felt like it was just a matter of time, but we were so careful 💔

      He might come home to a totally new me, too. I’ve never been one of those people who cut their hair out of stress but I’m considering it now, if I do then that will be the biggest shock of his life, he’ll probably not even notice the new layout!

      Thank you, bbstl ❤

      3
      0

    I got to read your post only today… and I hope that by now you are both healthy and your Best Husband Ever is fully recovered! 😘

    0
    0

So, here’s a story!

They met when they were 18. She was an international exchange student and he became her first friend.

With days they became closer, he fell in love with her, she didn’t. She asked him if he could stay friends with her and he said yes, he tried but he couldn’t.

Four years later, on their graduation day, he told her that he never stopped loving her and that it was too hard for him to stay friends, knowing his feelings weren’t going away, knowing her feelings weren’t going to change.

She cried that day, he cried that day. She apologized for not reciprocating his feelings and he apologized for the same.

They went their seperate ways.

Another four years later, he worked on an international event as a coordinator and his counterpart on the overseas project-team  happened to be her. Yes!

They got to talking, reminiscing about old days, catching up. She told him she was engaged, he told her he was too. He lied. He got nervous.

She flew over to him for the event. They joked, they laughed, they had a great time and then he told her he wasn’t really engaged, he didn’t want her thinking he wasn’t over her, he didn’t want things getting awkward. She asked him if he was really over her, he said no.

Things did get awkward.

Another two years. He runs into her at a client’s company, he’s surprised and asks what she is doing here, she tells him she’s got a job here and she’s applied for residency.

They end up working together, a lot of meetings happen, a lot of coffee-dates happen, and they’re laughing again, they’re friends again. He learns that she broke off her engagement and he realizes he’s still in love with her. He doesn’t tell her this time, he’s too scared to tell her this time.

Days go by, a whole year goes by and he’s miserably and irrevocably in love with her, and he can do nothing about it but complain to his friend. His friend tells him to try for one last time, and he rejects the idea with “what if it doesn’t work out?”.
“Then it’s just not meant to be” the friend says, “but..,” he adds, “what if it does?” 

Today they danced their first dance as husband and wife on Otis Reddings’ “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” and guess who was all chocked up trying to hold back tears? MY HUSBAND! THAT FRIEND!

This guy is his bestest friend and this was so very emotional for him, I mean, I was bawling my eyes out, everyone who knew the story was too (which is everyone attending – strictly family and friends) but he was there from day one.

– Why are you looking at me like that?
– You want to cry, don’t you?
– I don’t!
– You want to cry!
– I don’t!
– You’re looking at them like a proud dad, you totally want to cry!
– [covers his eyes with his hand, shoulders shaking]
– Are you crying?
– [eyes still covered]: I’m laughing!
– Why?
– [laughs some more]: because you’re a fool!

Now he wants to take full credit for the wedding happening because of his famous “what if it does” line, LOL!

28
24

    Why is everything around you so fun 😂
    But seriously this is an epic drama, I refuse to believe it’s true but I’m really giddy it is.

    9
    1

      We’re still all giddy about it!!!
      No one knew about the song and when it played, there was a collective “Aww” and then everyone was weeping!

      I also can’t get over how beautiful it was, I’m gonna go cry a bit more of happy tears now 😂❤

      2
      0

    This is a drama plot waiting to happen

    5
    2

      It is a happy ending so all is good but it is going to be a very frustrating watch!

      4
      3

        I was just thinking that, it could turn into a Taiwanese romcom of near misses and the male lead could come off as a Nice Guy. We’d have to be very careful about how we wrote it.

        3
        1

          Funny you said that, she is Taiwanses and he is a nice guy!

          2
          0

        The angst portion lasts too long.

        3
        3

          Kudos to those who actually went through it.

          4
          1

            SNG tells me that it was especially frustrating because everytime they convinced the guy to move on and forget her she would just somehow appear and it starts all over again!

            5
            0

          Almost 11 years!

          2
          1

          I was thinking the same thing. I still feel sorry for the guy cause he had to go through so much

          2
          1

            SNG and I were talking about this a while back and I remember telling him that I felt it was wrong of her to ask the guy to be her friend when she knew how he felt and it was equally wrong for him to agree to it knowing how she felt, and SNG said that none of this would’ve ever happened had he said no that day and sometimes things are just meant to happen. Like, he wasn’t trying to stay hung up on her all of these years, he just didn’t find anyone else, and she wasn’t purposely trying to come back into his life, she was just as much surprised to run into him everytime!

            4
            0

        And the worst is being coined as noble idiocy when he said he was over her!!!

        1
        0

      It is honestly not 😂 A movie would be great though.

      2
      0

    Mr. Azzo knows a couple of things about beating destiny by trying. I l’ve always liked him.

    8
    1

    This epic story really made happy. Congrats azzo! After all, kdrama boys really do exist and I’m happy you finally got yours. *patiently waiting for mine* 😂

    5
    1

    Giving credits to SNG!

    5
    1

    Your stories! They do things to my heart!❤️ Thank you so much for sharing.

    3
    1

      Thank you!
      Probably that’s why I keep sharing ❤

      1
      0

    This is so cute!!! 🥺🥺🥺

    2
    0

Hello Beanies, how are you all? How is life? I hope you’re all doing good and, those of you celebrating Eid, I hope you had a happy one and a blessed month of Ramadan.

It’s been hard, honestly, to feel any sort of joy these days with everything that’s going on in the world, there’s just been this heavy depressing energy everywhere and it all feels so wrong, and it might be hard to believe it right now but good still exists and kind people do, too.

Today, SNG and I were out on a walk trying to shake off the bad mood we were in and this lady, sitting on a bench, alone, smiles and gestures at us to go over to her. She offers us some water and some very questionable-looking candy, we take the water and we politely decline the candy. She asks us if we’re married, we tell her we are, she asks us how long it’s been and we tell her it’ll be 8 months in 3 days (which WOW!), and she’s so very happy about it that it makes us happy. She calls us newly-weds and she congratulates us and goes on wishing us a blessed married life and she’s being so sweet that I’m about to cry. I mean, she doesn’t know us and she could’ve easily ignored us, she had no reason to be kind to us but she chose to, and it only took her a few minutes but it made our whole day. Really, it made such a difference and the shift in SNG’s mood after that was everything, I also think it had something to do with her calling him “pretty” but he denies it.

– She called you pretty!
– She did?
– Yeah, act like you didn’t just get all red in the face when she did!
– [laughs]: She called you pretty too, you know!
– Yes, she called me pretty once, she called you pretty FOUR times!
– You counted?
– Of course, I did, pretty boy!
– [laughs again]: No! Just.. no, please!
– Oh, you don’t like that? Pretty guy? Pretty man? What is it?
– My God, shut up! [Changes the subject]: give me your hand!
– Why?
– Just give me it!
– [Puts a questionable-looking candy in my hand]: I stole it for you!
– Stole it? She probably slipped you one because you’re so pretty!

Yeah so, choose to be good beanies, choose to be kind, make that effort, I promise it’s worth it!

Now, can someone tell me if this is edible?
Kidding.. we’ve already had it, this is the wrapper (it was double-wrapped!!) it’s coffee flavored and it made SNG regret not stealing more (He should be in jail for everything he’s “stolen” so far but please no one tell on him, LOL!)

33
9

    Thank you for sharing this story with us 😊

    2
    0

    Hi azzo! It’s great to hear from you, what a lovely story.

    1
    0

    Lovely story, made me smile. Thank you!

    1
    0

    So good to hear you’re doing well!

    1
    0

    glad to see you back Azzo 🤗 and with a funny lovely story , thanks to you and pretty guy 🤭

    2
    1

      Pretty guy hates the word pretty now because of how annoying I was to him yesterday.. he probably hates me a little too 😅

      2
      1

        you can sing pretty woman, changing the lyrics pretty~ man walking down the street
        (tell him it’s my fault, sorrynotsorry SNG)

        3
        1

          LOL! We have a song in our language that goes something like “You’re so pretty that I keep forgetting my eyes on you” and yes, I’ve been singing it ever since (Also, that’s a new song idea, will try it and will definitely blame you for it 😂)

          2
          0

    Always great to hear from you!

    1
    0

So for the last few days I\’ve been having really weird dreams and yesterday I had a nightmare to which I woke up and went back to sleep and then I had a dream involving some of you beanies so I\’m going to tell it to you.

In the dream I\’m throwing a house-warming party and you\’re all invited, I don\’t know what happens but you guys just appear. @kudoran calls to tell me she\’ll be late but @bbstl, @ally-le, @leetennant @ndlessjoie are here (if you\’re wondering, LT and mugyuljoie look like their little profile pics.. Ally looks like herself and bbstl has a human body -wearing a pink dress with white polka dots- and a cat\’s head)

I ask them where everyone else is and they tell me that no one else is coming, I get upset and tell them that we made so much food.

\”We?\” LT asks.
\”Yes!\” I say \”SNG helped!\”
\”What did he make?\” She asks.
\”Sandwiches!\” I tell her and she laughs.
She laughs so hard like that is the funniest thing she\’s ever heard.

Then mugyuljoie comes holding this chocolate cake and asks who made it, I tell her he made that cake too and she falls over herself laughing.

\”I\’m going to try it!\” Ally says and before I could get her a fork she digs into it with her hands.

\”Can we keep her?\” I hear him say so I turn to look at him and he\’s holding bbstl who\’s turned into a white cat wearing a pink party hat.

\”Put her down!\” I tell him, \”That\’s bbstl!\”

I\’m getting so mad and frustrated at all of this, LT and Mugyuljoie won\’t stop laughing, and Ally is getting chocolate all over our white sofas and bbstl, the cat, is snuggling with my husband!

I\’m overwhelmed and about to cry when KdramaAhjumma @suriyana-shah walks in with her twin daughters attached to her sides. I\’m surprised and I tell her that they told me no one else was coming and she says she came because she had to bring me a house-warming gift. I look at Ally and ask her why she didn\’t bring me a gift and she tells me that bbstl, the cat, is her gift!

KdramaAhjumma interrupts us and tells us that she is in a hurry and she needs to give me my gift before she leaves. \”Give me your hand!\” she says and it makes me smile because SNG says that to me when he wants to surprise me with gifts, I look up and it\’s him (KdramaAhjumma disappears), \”Give me your hand!\” he says and I give him my hand and he gives me..  an .. egg!

I\’m confused and I want to ask him what this means but I don\’t get to because @kudoran arrives and bbstl, the cat, gets scared and attacks us and the egg falls and breaks.

I wake up. The end.

No one try to make sense of this dream, let\’s leave it to whatever it is.. but @bbstl, I think, you need some explaining to do here, you were getting a bit too cozy with him 😒

20
66

    Ally messing up your white couch with chocolate cake is very upsetting.

    5
    2

    I have a theory…

    4
    2

      And I’m curious now..

      2
      0

      I think I know where this is going.

      3
      1

        I think I know where this is going too.. but no, this cannot be it! I’m hoping for a different theory!

        3
        2

          *wiggles my cat eye brows* 😼

          3
          2

            How to make a cat stop wiggling their cat eyebrows?
            See, I’m not good at this!

            0
            0

            @azzo1 Well, there’s no way to stop a cat from wiggling its eyebrows. You learn to live with a cat totally on its own terms! But if it happens, this will be the best “conception dream” ever. Quite different than the kdrama dreams of a dragon or a tiger, etc. 😁 I think I’d stay away from chocolate cakes for the time being 🍰

            2
            0

          Well.. i was kinda worried about mentioning it but since u guys alr discussed it below.. yerp you’re getting a kid(tt)y whichever comes first 😹

          2
          0

    I’m sorry for laughing (or maybe not) and I really want a piece of that chocolate cake now. I think @ally-le should have one delivered to me.

    2
    1

      The chocolate cake was for all of you to share.. I don’t know why Ally did what she did! LOL!

      2
      0

    omg, I just laughed so hard that I gave myself a coughing fit. I was not snuggling with SNG but expressing my gratitude that you two have found each other 😻
    I think @ally-le has some nerve giving me away but am thrilled to be the only Beanie who is moving in with you two! 🐈🎀🎉 party on!

    6
    2

      I think it was a very thoughtful gift. You could talk kdramas all day while living on SNG’s lap! @azzo1 has a right to be jealous!

      4
      2

        Not happening!

        0
        0

        Hmmmmmm. I’m starting to think that @azzo1 doesn’t like cats 😒

        1
        1

          Honestly, I don’t.. (I think I mentioned it to you guys once when @yyishere suggested I hold your cat instead of a bouquet for my wedding). I find them cute, I really do, but that’s about it for me, I’m sorry.. but if I have to, I’ll make you an exception!

          1
          1

      You don’t sound very convincing to me but I’ll buy into it this time!
      Who is moving in with whom now? I thought this was a one-time dream thing!

      2
      1

        Well, we shall see. I reserve the right to reinhabit your dreams at any time!
        I was still laughing about this last night and had a hard time not explaining to the friends I was with that I was in a pink dress with a white cat head in the dreams of someone on the other side of the planet (being the most exciting thing I’d “done” in some time 😹).

        3
        0

    A belated apology for the non-stop laughter. I blame it on jet lag (irl I’m known for laughing fits when I’m overly tired). 🤣

    3
    1

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    3
    3

      appropriate reaction

      I’m still waiting to hear that Netflix has picked up Azzo and SNG for an eight episode series.

      5
      0

      Ah~ .. the LT from my dream!

      2
      0

      Comment was deleted

      0
      0

    so I missed everything and came late 🥺🥺🥺😭
    (that’s consistent with myself getting late on DB for SNG story, even in your dream it happens 🥺)

    “No one try to make sense of this dream” oh my dear…I did, I’ll think of you a lot this week and in my prayers

    5
    2

      Probably that’s why .. you stay true to yourself, Kudo!

      Don’t.. don’t make sense of it but do keep me in your prayers, the creepiest thing happened to me yesterday, some old man knocked on my car window so I thought he needs help or something, I pull the window down and he goes: “Be careful!” and leaves. I swear I got chills, and I’m really not getting very good dreams these days (except for the beanie dream!), I haven’t told anyone about it, not even SNG, so if I disappear, it’s probably that old man 😅

      3
      1

        I usually don’t remember my dreams (and the few times when it happens, it’s a weird story ^^’)
        stay safe, take care and be careful (but not from an old man this time =P)

        “you stay true to yourself, Kudo” err, not sure I’m happy with myself on that , the chocolate cake though x) !
        ps : untrustworthy piece of advice, I’ve been reading a short story of Poirot before going to bed lately, yep reading about murders but sleeping all good, maybe give it a try hehe

        2
        1

          I think I remember most of my dreams and this one was just so weird, hard to forget really, LOL!

          Okay, next time, just make sure to arrive a bit earlier!

          Not sure it’s going to help but I’m going to try that, thank you. Maybe the murders in the book cancel out the ones in my dreams!

          1
          0

      Hi Azzo 😀 , a little message to say hi , hoping you and your relatives are fine. Spring has come here, very nice to have some good sunlight but I guess you don’t miss sunlight where you live ^^’.
      Shamelessly sharing another invite to discord (please come one day, if you need some music reco’ or just to listen to music 😉 or to see beautiful pictures shared (flowers, food, mountain, snow,…). I realized I’m checking DB less often now every 2 weeks or so , oops .
      I saw the news about LKS leaving RM *hug* I know you watch the show every week.
      Have a nice day , take care Azzo <3

      1
      1

        Hi Kudo ❤
        We’re doing good, thank you. How about you and people on your side?

        Sadly, we don’t have spring, we skip directly to summer which means lots and lots of sun and 45+ degrees, I’m melting over here, LOL!

        You know, I’m seriously considering joining discord now because it might be easier to catch up with you guys, I’m a lot less active on DB (last time I was here it was March) and I really don’t want to lose touch with everyone. I’ll definitely let you know if I want to join sometime soon!

        I heard about Kwang-soo and it broke my heart, he is my favorite 💔😭 Of course, his health comes before everything but I’m already dreading his last episode!

        Thank you for asking, kudo, means a lot, I hope you’re doing great and are happy and safe!

        1
        1

          hi Azzo 😀 !!!
          Glad to read about you 🙂 .
          My family and I are fine, thanks ^^ , some even got 1st shot of vaccine (as for me I have to wait till June or a bit later , I’m not in the age range concerned yet )

          Fighting with those hot temperature 🥵 . For the moment we’re good here, we’ll wait and see if we’ll have hot wave or not this summer.
          Here’s a discord invitation (I think it’s valid only for 24hour) , I’ll just drop some everyday this week 😋. (it’s an invite to the Cdrama server , where I hang out the most, it’s chaotic, lovely and funny server 🙂 )
          https://discord.gg/bHPQpKzA

          Please come Azzo, even without spending lots of time on discord you’ll see many Beanies that are not active anymore.
          (also whispers if you want to see my cooking attempt, I’m sharing some pictures from time to time, made some dumplings yesterday 🙂 )
          (whispers again if you want to have book reco’ or talk about them, there’s a server for books 🙂 . I have two reco’ for you , I think you’ve already read the first one (a) but still sharing just in case, it’s both fiction about World War II .
          a) The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
          b) White Chrysanthemum by Mary Lynn Bracht

          Also my singing offer is still valid 😉
          (if you join discord , by default your status is visible, you can turn it to invisible. When I joined many Beanies said hi , you coming will make some welcome party, be prepared for the love 😘😘😘)
          (whispers there’s private message option on discord 😉 (said the one that used it only once or twice 🙄😂))

          1
          5

            Good to know your family members are getting vaccinated, Kudo, and that you guys are all safe, the same is going on with my family members too, hoping they all get vaccinated soon (me too, I was told to wait till August for the vaccination!)

            Yes, too hot here.. but we’ve been hearing news of some rain so hopefully we’ll get some this weekend!

            I will, I will, I promise! You know what, I might as well join you this weekend, since I don’t have anything planned and I could try and discover the discord community (Though really you will have to teach me everything I have no idea what it is and how it works 😂) so don’t drop the invitations everyday, just maybe on Thursday, if you could of course, and I will join you then, hehe!

            Ooh, I love historical fiction , one of my favorite genres ( I think I told you this!) and yes I read the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society and I loved it, they’ve also made it into a movie which I haven’t watched because I’m too scared they’ll ruin it for me!

            I haven’t read White Chrysanthemum but I’ll try to find it and I’ll tell you what I think about it once I read it.

            Kudo just know that me joining discord will mostly be for your singing offer, just too tempting to decline, LOL!

            1
            0

            I’m still a baby on discord level ^^’ .
            I’ll share the invite with great pleasure 🙂 on Thursday evening (around 6pm Paris time, I’ll be able to welcome you there and see astonished Beanies reaction hehe)

            Just leave some songs you’d like to hear (be careful not to share songs you love , I’m singing mumbling hehe) , possible languages includes English, Chinese, Korean and Japanese (and my mother tongue even though I don’t sing that much into it *oops*)

            1
            0

            LOL! Thank you, Kudo. I’ll make sure to make a list of songs I’d want you to sing for me 😂

            1
            0

            (I might have four songs already prepared, one in each language : English, Chinese, Korean and Japanese. Take your time for your requests, I’ll use it as excuse to sing hehe.)

            1
            0

            Thursday 😀 !!!
            so here’s the invite
            https://discord.gg/bHPQpKzA

            *crossing fingers*

            1
            0

    I haven’t shared this with my husband yet, but he would say your dream was spot on. I think you know me. I’d totally be the first person to eat chocolate cake and I HATE TO SHARE. And I’m so sloppy, so getting it on a white couch sounds like par for the course too. And why do you have a white couch anyway!!!!???? When you guys have kids, that will be the first thing that gets ruined, 😂 . I think I was just breaking it in for you 😜. And yeah, that dream is totally about that. Let me be the first to congratulate you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

    6
    2

      I would totally spill coffee on that white couch. And ally, SHARE THE CAKE. Hmmph.

      And yeah, that was definitely what that dream was about.

      3
      2

        Coffee is not allowed on the white couch.. he had to give up “coffee on the couch” for keeping the couch so!

        And no, stop it.. though I know it can’t be.. I’ll still start freaking out!

        3
        0

        Get your own cake! I brought the cat.

        1
        0

      You’re telling me the dream you is actually you? You are the sloppy kind? I guess, I know you better than I thought I did!
      Also, that couch was his idea, he was so passionate about it so I let him have it!
      And no, really, it can’t be.. just.. way too soon! That dream is about us getting a cat, he’s been begging for a cat for a while now so I think I’m just going to go and get him a cat!

      4
      2

        Ah. So that’s why the cat batted at the egg and caused it to break. 🤔 verrrry interesting. When you get the cat, I will send it a pink party hat.

        2
        1

        Sounds good, get a cat. You should get a white one because otherwise, your white couch will always have hair on it and it’ll drive you crazy. All my furniture is leather except for a chaise that has outdoor upholstery that’s cream colored that I’ve gotten everything that’s been spilled on it out. I’m really good at stain removal being the klutz I am. 😂. My husband married me for a lot of reasons, but gracefulness was not one of them. 😂

        1
        1

          If we’re getting a cat (haven’t really told him about it yet, I was very firm with my “No”, I want to be sure about this first) then it has to be a white one! A lot of our furniture is in light colors.. we clearly didn’t think this through!

          You need to teach me some of your stain removal hacks, you know, for the future! I’m still a little surprised, I didn’t think you’d be the clumsy type, LOL!

          1
          2

            Vinegar, water, baking soda and dish soap will get our 99% of fabric stains on colored fabric. Bleach for whites. Alcohol for ink. That will get you through most your life—lol.

            1
            0

            Oh, white is also good for you from the standpoint of not seeing the hair the cat sheds! Which will probably happen, although I have a 90% non shedder right now, just luck.
            azzo and SNG are getting a cat! Hooray for the cat!!! 😺

            1
            0

    That’s a weird albeit sweet dream I guess lol. I believe that dreams are usually about what is going on in your subconscious and real life and what you are thinking or bothered about much more than it being a sign of the future. Even if I know people study dreams and it may hint towards any future happening I still think it’s a lot about what’s already happening in our minds. So yes I guess you need to get a cat only if you wish.

    3
    2

      So beanies, cat, chocolate cake, egg..
      Maybe azzo needs to get a cat n bake a chocolate cake to celebrate it w beanies.

      1
      1

        Maybe I will do just that.. maybe I won’t, we’ll see!

        0
        0

      I believe the same and a lot has been going on this passed week, I think I can actually make sense of a lot of that dream, beanies were just a fun addition, LOL!

      I’m giving “getting a cat” some serious thought here!

      1
      0

    This is so hilarious, I love it! 💕💕💕

    I have to tell the twins that they appeared in @azzo1’ dream 🤣🤣 They will be so thrilled.

    And I agree with beanies, this is definitely a conception dream all right. Tell us the good news in 12-13 weeks’ time when the first trimester is over 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻

    2
    0

    Hm. Interesting.

    What raised my eyebrow (one only — it is a skill) are:

    1. @leetennant is there in your dream and she’s LAUGHING. LT doesn’t laugh, she’s indifferently blank-faced, it helps to keep HIM at bay — you know, her stalker…Lee Min Who.

    2. Your Oppa isn’t in your dream. Poor Oppa. Bye, Oppa.

    3. @bbstl is Catwoman. I suspected she wasn’t human many times. Her posts are ahem, littered with intricate symbols — convulated paws and disturbing cat faces which, on hindsight, pointed to her cattish? catlike? non-human links.

    The old man creeped me out. Eek.

    4
    2

Of course, this show wasn\’t without its flaws but nothing really mattered in front of how cute it was!

Mini-spam 끝!

P.S. I was so tempted to make gifs of every single sticky note scene in this show (SO MANY!!!) but I didn\’t.. you\’re saved, LOL!

18
9

    We’ll just pretend that you did make them 😉📝 !

    2
    1

      And I’ll just pretend you enjoyed them, too!

      1
      0

    I JUST finished watching the show! And have been kicking myself ever since for not watching with you all earlier…

    2
    1

      Yes, me too. I think the time when this was getting all the rave I was in a drama-slump so it didn’t excite me but I’m so glad Youtube recommended this for me, I loved it!

      0
      0

    thank you for the spam & the gifs 🙂
    It’s been on my to-watch list ever since it got positive reviews from Beanies, your spam confirmed some points once again (however still don’t know when I’ll watch it ^^’)

    1
    1

      It’s really a good show, you’ll love it if you ever get the time to watch it, LOL!
      How are you, Kudo? It’s been a while.. you’ve been quiet recently, hope everything is okay!

      1
      1

        “if you ever get the time to watch it” I always have drama time (or I always make time for drama🙄) but it’s more I’m not in the mood for it right now any time soon ^^’

        I’m fine, thank you 🙂 , and you ?
        “you’ve been quiet recently” I’m actually checking the fanwall quite often (every 2 days or so , leaving upvotes and sometimes comments) , however I’m just posting final thoughts for shows I’ve finished as for now, the post for Dae Jang Geum took me quite some time 🥴
        On the other hand, I’m also trying to check discord (but even there I’m just making some short cameo ^^’), share some reactions for my variety shows even if it just means a few lines ^^’

        1
        1

          Getting into the right mood for dramas can be hard, I get it, LOL!

          I’m good, thank you. It just seems like I haven’t seen you around for a while, or maybe we didn’t talk to each other for a while so you felt quiet to me, was wondering of you were alright.. glad you are.

          I never got to watch Dae Jang Geum but I know it is still very much loved by everyone, hope you enjoyed it.

          1
          1

            Dae Jang Geum is a classic old sageuk , it has its charm , I loved it 🙂 .

            (whispers again : come to discord, there’s even a server for books reco’ 😉 )

            1
            0

And I just love them so much!

24
2

    I love her stiff-walk in the second picture

    1
    1

      And I love how he was acting all cool but the minute she looks away he puts his hand on his heart, so cute!

      0
      0

It was so nice to see them both learning to grow together, seo-ri with her innocence could get to Woo-jin and teach him how to open his heart bit by bit.

22
0

And .. HOW CUTE WERE THESE TWO?

20
1

It was hard watching this puppy\’s heart break but I loved that once he realized that it was impossible he was quick on trying to get over it!

And he was quick on getting back to his usual happy self.. I was so proud of him 😭

And their friendship was something special and I know that it would never change!

21
3

I loved those two together and, I admit, I wanted a bit more of them like this!

16
0

This was my first time watching Shin Hye-sun in a leading role and her Seo-ri was absolutely adorable. She made me believe that she was actually 17 and I felt so much for her, her awkwardness with her age and with everyone else\’s was so much fun to watch!

18
5

About a week ago I was looking for something sweet to watch and Youtube just happened to recommend Thirty but Seventeen to me so I thought I\’d give it a try and I\’m so glad I did.

I loved this show!

It was cute and funny and nothing was forced or rushed or dragged, no grand plot twists, no great conflicts, no baddies. It was slow-paced and I don\’t mean that in a bad way, just that it took its time to develop the characters and what it took for them to grow into the people they become. The characters learned to mature, to open up, to let go and to smile again, and it was all so very heartwarming to watch.

It was lovely from start to finish and it left me smiling and feeling all happy ❤

Also, this means a mini-spam (my first in ages, LOL).
Enjoy!

24
7

    Awwww, after Mr Queen I’ve been thinking of rewatching this because she’s so wonderful 🥰 Now I really want to do it.

    2
    1

      She is!!! I’ve only ever seen her in secondary roles before, one being that She Was Pretty scene (if you know.. you know!), but she really is great, I’m glad she’s getting all the love!

      1
      0

    Aaaaaahhhhhhh I loved them!!!!!!! I miss this pair so much! T.T

    1
    1

    Awww this is one of my most favorite shows ❤ It’s so heartwarming with such lovable characters. I’m glad you enjoyed it! And I’m enjoying your mini-spam (:

    1
    1

      Yes, I loved most of the characters (I still don’t really understand the aunt!), and this was such a feel-good show!
      Thank you for enjoying my mini-spam!

      1
      0

I grew up in a family of romantics where falling in love has always been celebrated like an achievement, where tales of love are told, poetry in the name of love is written and songs of love are sung.

Yet that kind of love, to me, seemed like such a foreign concept, so far away from who I am, unattainable. I\’m good with checklists, guidelines, rules, and I was told that love doesn\’t follow those. I\’ve read that love meant change and chaos and those things absolutely terrify me. They said love is the language of words, new vocabularies, and I enjoy my silences.

The thought of it was so unsettling that I told myself I would never do it, I would never let it happen to me.. I was different, it was not me, it didn\’t suit me.

But then .. he came along.

If you ask me why I said yes to him that day on the 25th of December 2019, I would tell you, in complete honesty, that I did it to make him stop looking at me. I actually, really, just wanted him to stop looking at me. Not because I hated it, because, I realized, no one has ever looked at me the way he did and it made me feel things I couldn\’t understand. When beanies were making jokes of Christmas dates and hot chocolate, I was literally panic-googling how to do this (Yes, I needed a how-to list and no, it didn\’t work!).

\”It\’s okay!\” he said, when I told him about my rules and boundaries, about my \”do\’s\” and \”don\’ts\”, and about my \”can\’ts\” and \”won\’ts\”, I was not going into this unprepared, I told myself. \”It\’s okay. I understand!\” he told me.

When he first confessed I asked him how he knew, I wasn\’t doubting how he felt, I just needed to know if I felt the same. After all, I made my list and I needed to know if I could tick all the boxes (call me a fool but how else would I know?). I was not prepared for his answer, I didn\’t expect that, nothing on my list was ticked. I cried that night, I cried a lot, and when he couldn\’t figure out why I was crying I told him about my stupid list. He laughed then and asked me a series of questions, all to which my answer was yes. \”It\’s enough!\” he said, \”It really is!\”, then he asked if he could hug me and I said yes to that, too. 

He taught me that there are no set guidelines for love, it isn\’t hard, it doesn\’t have to fit a mold, it isn\’t same for everybody. No two people translate it the same, no two people feel it the same. He said love could mean chaos to some but to some it could be the order they need. And he told me that words are overrated and silences shared are the best way to love.

I still think I don\’t know much, I still wonder if I\’m doing it right.. but there is no right way he tells me.. so I guess, I\’ll just fumble my way through love.

Love, February.

29
4