I don't ever think to share my love of kdramas unless someone asks. I think it is mostly because I watch a great deal of television generally, so treat kdramas as such, they are not more special to me then my American TV shows, they are just in Korean. When someone asks me for a TV recommendation I ask what genre, how do they in take their TV, and if they like foreign television. I work from there. I have friends who like kdramas and we watch it together. I also have friends who like American shows and we'll watch those. So this is an interesting take to me. I also want to add I didn't like City Hunter, in fact I think it it is one of the worst kdramas, if I were to recommend an action drama it would probably be Bad Guys. Not to bash your taste or anything, but there are better action dramas. This is said with love ❤️ and joy.

I had been neck-deep in Kdramas until some years ago, when i was a student. Used to follow dramabeans so dedicatedly and had enough time for it all. At the same time I also used to watch many English sitcoms and movies. I had time for it then. Then I had to cut my self off Kdramas because they were consuming much more time and I was finding it difficult to get off my computer. The same feeling was shared by many of my friends. So I took a break, stopped watching them altogether. Now I am hesitant to start binge-watching again, coz it is kind of a vicious cycle.
As for many of my friends and relatives, I find that mostly girls are heavily invested in Kdramas. I tried to rope in the boys, but they tried to brush it off as silly. As you said I thought City Hunter would be impressive to boys. But they may have liked it, but not impressed enough to dive in. Hence I am a little hesitant to suggest Kdramas to a newbie.

They are mine, and I want to enjoy them without having to explain, justify, or translate.

This sentence defined my whole reservation for bringing people in my real life to this rabbit hole madness. The biggest reason, at first, was my knee-jerk reaction of not wanting to be judged solely by the entertainment and stories I enjoyed. (I just realized there's a reason I don't advertise my love for fantasy novels either.)

I'm not exactly hiding my love for kdrama (and kpop too for the matter). My friends and family know, but I don't exactly talked at length about it either. They probably think I only watched it casually instead of waxing poetic and writing thousands words essay after each series ended. So mostly, I'm all cool when suddenly one of them found themselves getting pulled into the rabbit hole. I recommended one or two titles when they asked for it and shared a bit of my thought on why those were a good show. But nothing more. And then when they are already deep inside, they would find out that actually I'm one of those "crazy inner people" and nothing like my usually calm and rational self. Sometimes I feel like living a double identities, I swear. Thankfully there's my sister who knows me well and is just as crazy about staying in this rabbit hole as me. 😉

I'm a closet fan with friends and loved ones who I know do not watch K-dramas. They know I do nothing but watch television but never have I specified what television nor have they caught on I don't know what they're talking about when they talk about the shows they're watching.

Then I have friends who watch K-dramas, but they're casual watchers who don't know actors' real names and sometimes don't even know the name of the drama they're watching, so I don't fangirl with them. As someone who watches dramas for actors and have their birth years memorized, I don't know how they live like that.

I like reading romance novels and YA, and I like those in my dramas too, but dont always like to tell people. Both of those genres are so often almost casually put down.
I see alot of "For a" or "fluff" put in as qualifiers when people talk about either in a positive light. I see it in front of dramas too...from fans of dramas.
So, for the most part I keep them to myself.

Several years ago I recommended korean dramas to a worker, who had serious insomnia and said she was tired of watching animal shows on National Geographic. She fell hard for the stories and great character arcs, and was soon marathoning shows, (and getting less sleep) while I was holding myself to 1 episode per day. I'm more careful these days, lest I send anyone else into sleep deprivation mode.

"A final possibility is that I’m holding back the world of dramaland from others because I want to keep it all for myself, kind of like I would do with a box of dark chocolate truffles right about now. They are mine, and I want to enjoy them without having to explain, justify, or translate. Indeed, there’s something to be said for keeping something you love close to your heart, especially when you suspect that others around you won’t share your high level of appreciation. Maybe that’s just being selfish, but there it is."

This is the exact reason why I never reveal my most favorite shows to my kdrama-fan friends. I suggest lots of shows to them based on my personal enjoyment or theirs, but I'm not gonna tell them which one is my favorite upfront. If they stumble upon it and love it as much as I do, good for them and me both! If they don't, and tell me their problem with it, I can easily just acknowledge and brush it off. But I'm not setting myself and my beloved show up for criticism beforehand. Maybe that's just being selfish, but there it is.

Interestingly I’m more than happy to share my love for Kdramas with anyone... but.... very few know just how far down the rabbit hole I’ve fallen and how far it managed to intertwine with my life.
Doctor by day, Secretly blogging about (medical) kdramas at night.... it’s like an alter ego I had for a while. 😅

And I blame Dramabeans for being the enabler!

But 100% I will never ever regret my leap off the cliff because of the friends I’ve made here on DB. I’ve gone travelling to Korea with one, watched a fan meeting with 4 and had endless drama discussions here and on KakaoTalk too....

So yeah. Loud and proud about my love for KDramas but I’m quieter about my love for DB, simply because well I’m selfish and kind of think this little wonderful world here is too special and for now I’m keeping you guys all to myself! (Insert evil laugh... muhahaha!) ❤️😘🥰😍

I show kdramas to just 2 people. One got into them; the other said "that didn't suck" but showed no further interest.

But meanwhile...

unrealistic expectations towards potential love interests, oncoming traffic

:)

watching the latest Memories of the Alhambra episode — because when it was good it was good.

Shh.... Yes,it was, but there are people you don't want to let hear you say that. Jeffrey might come after you :)

People know I watch kdramas but I’ve been hesitant to convince them to start watching. Those I successfully persuaded didn’t like it enough watch another series. I guess it’s not for everyone, plus some people hate subtitles.

As @missvictrix said there’s the learning curve. The culture was so different. I found the dramas kinda cheesy in the beginning and I had to get used to stuff like piggy backs, wrist grabs, hitting, candy girls, kneeling to ask for forgiveness, etc. But I found it irresistible and boy, did I binge-watch!!!

Then there are the closet kdrama fans who told me not to tell our friends that they’re deep in the rabbit hole.

Unlike most of you, I don’t have people to discuss the dramas and fandom with. That’s why DB means so much to me!

Almost everyone knows that I like those "Asians films" but only one of my friend is interested but only if watching together but because we live in different cities it hard to come. So far she watched and loved Kill Me, Heal Me and Goblin, with Kill Me, Heal Me being her favourite. I don't feel the need to introduce people to kdramas really, maybe because I prefer English subs.

Not related, I know...

@bbstl @katakwasabi @pakalanapikake @ally-le @hebang @msrabbit @leetennant @egads

Describe your favourite actor in four words.

Gong Yoo, HANDS, LEGS, CREEPY SWORD
Hyun bin, SMILE, DIMPLES, CREEPY SWORD
SSR, COLD, CHARMING, EXTRA, SHIPWRECK
Joo Ji hoon, TALL, LEGS, ZOMBIE, TRAINWRECK

My family lost me to kdramas 3 years ago... After this initial period of madness and binge watching, I am trying to be more reasonable with my time. And no, I don't share my love for Asian dramas with anyone around me - it just aggravates them.

The film 'Parasite' has allowed me to broach the subject of Korean TV to people who otherwise would have had little interest. That film is a good foot-in-the-door. There's also the recent American film 'The Farewell' that's a good starting point for discussing Asian drama. Usually if you try to mention Asian film people's sole point of reference is 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' from twenty years ago.

I feel all the reservations everyone has expressed here about sharing my love for k dramas (and music), with the additional one that I am Korean American myself, so when people just "don't get it" or express dislike, it feels personal (and more so than when I say I like anything else that other people aren't into or don't know about).

That's because there is often just a barely concealed (or not concealed at all) racism or nationalism in others' attitudes - usually not intentional, but hurtful nonetheless, especially when it's from friends.

So I may mention in passing that I am watching a Korean show or listen to a Korean artist when the subject of what we are watching/listening to comes up, but only briefly. I don't try to get others into it, usually.

It's strange that such an important part of my imaginative and cultural life has to live underground, essentially - but apparently it's that way for a lot of you all! Thank goodness for Beanies and Dramabeans!

I almost never recommend. I do tell my friends casually that I watch Asian dramas but don’t get into details. Over a period of time one friend got curious and she tried kdrama from Netflix and then she started asking for recommendations.
Even when people ask for what dramas I watched I only mention ‘Stranger/Forest of secrets’ and ‘Secret Affair’. Somehow I feel they won’t get it or worse they would be critical of shows I loved. Not that I care, but I just don’t want to have that conversation about what I enjoy in kdrama. For any conversation about kdrama I just want to come back to this community.

I tried sharing my love of kdrama to my friends especially since Netflix on my region really stepping up on their kdrama inventory. Alas, no fish took the bite even after I tried to match my recommendation with their preferred genres. They find the completely different drama rhythm and style, combine with the cultural shock, is too much for them.

I have now learned to keep my love (aka obsession) on kdrama under wrap and just unleash it in here. For the umpteenth time, I'm thankful for this site and the beanies.

Korean and other east asian dramas have become my life. Kdramas have often made me lose my precious hours of sleep. I swear it's like an addiction, an unhealthy obsession. But I'm trying to cut back on some dramas so that it doesn't take up most of my time. I'm very selective with my dramas nowadays.
My family and only a few close friends know about my addiction to kdramas. My cousin who had initially introduced me to dramaland doesn't watch them anymore so I'm the only who watches now. I did recommend kdramas to a friend of mine and while she loves watching them now and then, she is not as invested as I am.
I do not openly share my love for kdramas with others. If I do mention it casually, I first gauge their reaction and interest before recommending.

What Korean dramas have that American don't are the emotions. They know how to hit in the right spot. And I need my shows with emotions. I want to feel these people aren't otherworldly (well except for superhero and aliens) but what makes them one of us is the emotions they contain. So I don't like a randomly thrown crying scene or confession scene that has no progress or story behind it where I saw the protagonist or antagonist's emotions. I have, like many other here, tried to bring some family and friends to kdramas. But again I guess the edgy, story and plot focused American or Uk series win over kdramas. They definitely make intelligent shows and tackle different subjects. Still they aren't for me. And as I have made myself understood that they may not like kdramas or go down the rabbithole, I hope they understand my choice too which unfortunately some still mock. Again, I don't want to explain. I did have 2 friends hooked to kdramas but one of them keeps falling out of there and the other appreciates c dramas more because she only watches historicals or basic light fluff. Yet again, my drama choices don't match theirs. So DB My Love, You Are My Only Place 😂

My closest friends know I like watching Korean dramas, but they have no interest in watching themselves nor do they have time to. I like to do my first watches with my husband but tend to rewatch my favorites by myself. What no one, not even my own husband, knows is the extent of my obsession. No one in my real life knows that I and a couple others run my My Ajusshi fan site, and I hope no one ever will. It just feels too embarrassing.

I talk about my love for kdramas with my friends but it definitely isn't anything I want to share. Occasionally, (i.e., once) I suggested Vagabond to a friend who was really into the Jason Bourne movies. I was describing the show and he was like "wow, that sounds interesting, where can I watch it?" He later refused to watch it because it was Korean, smh.

My love language is sharing--food, dramas, quotes, trivia, my faith--whatever is important to me. So this question, "to share or not to share" is one that torments me endlessly.
Thank you@missvictrix for writing this. It helps to know I am not the only one.

I have been watching K-dramas since March of 2018, and the only people who know about it is you guys here on DB. My family, friends, and aquaintances in real life have no idea. I’ve thought often about introducing them to my parents, but I have yet to get up the courage. It could really go either way with them. They could actually like them, or they could not get it at all. I really don’t know which way it would swing. I was once tempted to share with a friend, but she is in school and my line of thinking was, “What if she gets addicted and her grades go down? Then I would feel like its my fault.” So I never brought it up.

I definitely relate to the points you made, @missvictrix. Part of me wants to share, but the other part wants to just keep K-dramas as my secret treasure.

My whole family knows I watch kdrama.
I have successfully got my sister and mother to watch them. My mother is now on her fourth and very much hooked.
When I was traveling in the States two years ago I made one of the friends I was staying with watch one with me. She enjoyed it. Was hooked from a single episode. I don't know if she continued watching after I left but my job was done anyway.
My BFF in the states actually wants to watch some of the ones I've told her about and sounded even more interested now that they're on pinterest.
I've sent recommendation lists to several people.
I was once staying with a girl for a week during a course in Auckland, and I accidentally got her hooked on BOF and she stayed up all night watching it. That wasn't on purpose...
I got my dongsaeng (not blood related) in Australia into Kdramas and two of her favourite kpop groups.

In other K-Ent spheres, I have successfully managed to find at least one Korean musician each that my parents like, and just the other week I recommended some Korean rap to some visitors. They of course have no understanding of the Korean entertainment industry, but honestly that just makes it easier.

@burgundy lived across the road from me for a long time and we were friends for years, and then she found out I watched kdramas and lost her shit. It was amazing. Having someone irl to share it with makes it that much more fun.

Still, I'm careful about what I recommend people. Now that I've been watching dramas for almost five years I think I have a decent enough library to pull recommendations from for people. I also try very hard to think of what the other person would like (and are able to tolerate), both in the music and dramas I share. I also take into consideration the language barrier, and even have a starter document to send to people to read before watching. You never realise how much Korean you've picked up on till you watch something with a newbie and then wonder if you should explain banmal vs jondaemal and the noona oppa unnie hyung thing now, or just let them figure it out.

So far I've had a good success rate. And I don't mind sharing. Watching my mother get addicted to Healer is fun. Have my friend send my live commentary on kpop MVS is fun.
And lot of people I've told about my excursions into K-Ent often have little to no knowledge that Korea even has a television industry. And those people are often quite open to suggestions, which is nice. Only occasionally have I had people be dismissive about it, at least that I can remember, so that's nice.

Some of the best parts about watching dramas is being able to watch them with loved ones - you end up talking about love, family, and relationships in a way that might not have been triggered before. A lot of times I will rewatch my favorite dramas because of the fuzzy warm memories and great commentary that went on while watching them with my family or friends. That's why I love to share my shows if I feel comfortable doing so!! On one hand I sometimes feel left out when all my friends talk about are American shows since I don't watch those (and it can get annoying when they're like 'you only watch shows with Asians in them') but I've learned to be more openly proud about my passion, because honestly I think they're missing out. Loved reading this post and everyone's comments because this community is so special in making our feelings valid!

Kdrama's are not "edgy" in the sense that they do not parrot the latest flavor of the day - the faux courage of actors and writers 'bravely' standing up for whatever cause is currently popular. But I find that they are often much deeper than their American counterparts- They can often dig into much more vital questions: GOBLIN was a great story but it was also a profound meditation on Life, Death and Love- It has no equivalent in any American show.

When I explain Kdramas the way I put it is that there is almost never a second season because a Kdrama is essentially a televised novel- and it has an ending as well as a beginning. But that is precisely why a Kdrama is a much richer experience. It is actually a story in the fullest sense of the word.

When someone is interested I recommend more than one show. And I explain that almost always the first two episodes are there to paint the background and provide the setting for the story that is yet to unfold.

YES. this is such a problem. I am very self conscious about my entertainment preferences, and I also like to keep them to myself, as this special part of who I am.

Some my family members are very progressive/intellectuals, and their idea of Asian shows was that they were backward, conservative, makjang, misogynistic, etc. I once told some of my cousins I was into Kdramas, and they asked me to explain what I liked about them that was different from Western shows. I panicked said, "Oh, well... they're speaking a different language..." and that was all I could come up with. This was not a good look, and probably just solidified their position that girls who are into kdramas aren't very bright.

So I've tried to do more thought since then about what I actually like about dramas. And I wonder, if I grew up in Asia, would I have gotten so into dramas and k-pop? Would I think of it as something for ahjummas or ditzes? Would I be watching different content, maybe indie stuff or bbc crime shows? But from an American perspective, kdramas became a novel thing to me. I wasn't used to seeing solely Asian people on tv. I loved that the characters' actions and the storylines felt more familiar to my value system, even though the tropes got overdone. It was fun to learn about another culture and society through their entertainment and compare that to the reality I live in.

Now with this whole "Asians breaking into Western entertainment" scene going on too, I was a little shook by how things like k-pop were becoming more mainstream. It was like suddenly having a secret stash exposed and being forced to share it with everyone. This whole east-west clash is happening, and it's a beautiful thing that makes me feel less "other" but also strangely has me questioning my identity as asian-american.

I hope it wasn't weird to bring race/ethnicity into the discussion, bc the cultural differences combined with the fangirl-stereotype is why I can get scared to share my love for east- asian entertainment. But so many people have their own little quirks and insecurities about what they love. When some of my friends try to get me into anime or rock music, I'm not always interested either. Maybe I'm just too head-deep in dramas that I don't want to get into anything else! I wish that everyone who is a fan of something, whether it's gaming, live streaming, or reality tv, can embrace their guilty pleasures without shame!

Most of the people I shared Kdramas with have sadly passed away.
I'm not one that will go all out for most Kdramas, there are a lot of them I've started, but just couldn't get into: Memories of the Alhambra; the Abyss; When the Camellia Blooms; Black; Cheese in the Trap; Coffee Prince; Doctor Stranger; Kill Me Heal Me; and Romantic Doctor: Teacher Kim. On the other side of the coin I have watched some that I was pleasantly surprised at, Love Affairs in the Afternoon; Confession; Splash Splash Love; Marriage Contract; Behind the White Tower; and Page Turner. Then there are the Korean movies, The Beauty Inside; A Hard Day; Northern Limit Line; Castaway on the Moon; Will You Be There; Over the Border; and Obsessed. Finally my very favorites--the ones that I would recommend to anyone, and that I've watched over and over, Road No. 1; The Princess' Man; A Werewolf Boy; and Sungkyunkwan Scandal. It is so much fun when you find a fiend that shares your love of Kdrama, one you can discuss the actors, plots, and endings with, but I find those sorts of people few and far between. So mainly I keep my love of Kdrama to myself, and enjoy them in the solitude of my own mind.

Thanks @missvictrix , I love it and yes let's keep the box of dark chocolate truffles for ourselves until you find someone who will truly appreciate it

I have only shared with one other person.. and I made the right choice because although we live half a continent away from each other, we giggle over messenger about our favorite moments. We both grew up in what I would identify as a cult, and were not allowed to have your normal teenage crushes on boys/stars/idols, so we are doing it now (well into our 30s) and loving every minute of it. It is a fun thing to share with the right person.

It’s like the writer of this article crawled into my head and then beautifully articulated all my thoughts and feelings!!

The last two reasons especially, are why I hesitate to recommend my special Kdramas to people in real life.

1. I don’t feel they’ll appreciate it enough. They may like it, but they may just consume it mindlessly like just another enjoyable piece of entertainment. It ISN’T! How dare they! See how psycho that makes me sound? So, I stay 🤐

2. It’s like my secret treasure for me to savor alone...along with other kdrama lovers online, but rarely in real life. Even when I meet people who really enjoy kdramas, I may squee here and there (with restraint 😂), but they’ll never know how deep into the rabbit hole I can go while analyzing, dissecting, rewinding, and replaying. And they will never know just how deranged and loud the squeeing/screeching can get🤣, in the privacy of our solitude, with just our trusty Kdrama, where we can watch with reckless abandon and without judgement.🙌🏾

First of all, thanks to @flighteygazelles1 for commenting on this piece. I saw their response go by in the comments stream...and I'd never read the OP. I just love finding new corners of Dramabeans!!!!

[K-dramas] are mine, and I want to enjoy them without having to explain, justify, or translate.

Like so many above, this is me. I've said in other places that Dramabeans is my "Room 19" (as in BTLIOF, although I'm not sure why I'm qualifying it...by using one of the longer, more obscure initialisms in our community). ANYWAY!!

People close to me know that this is my deep abiding interest right now. A few even do something close to disapprove, and I just have to deal with that. I have too many wonderful conversations and make too many wonderful connections here with my Beanie Internet Friends to care about that judgment. I don't want to share it IRL because I want this to be something just for me. So little else in my life is just for me. I feel expected to share everything with no boundaries (I feel this is the source of the resentment that I don't share my k-drama love IRL).

Being here is like being somewhere safe and accepting and at this point, I'll protect it at all costs. Sure, it's not the Elysian Fields here all the time. We Beanies can trade tense words. But it's usually because we all care so goddamned much. I do my best to remember that at all times.

Now, does anyone want to have another three-day long conversation that matches the one we just had about how "feeling like a mess" and "behaving irresponsibly" are two incredibly different concepts driving forward a 16-hour-long rom-com?? Because I...AM...READY.