Beanie level: Rooftop room dweller

Randomly here after ages. MBA is kicking my ass and I gained weight in hostel due to reduced physical activity but getting back into regular exercise after the first semester

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Maxton Hall is getting a season 2 you guys!!! I love it. Its basically a German Boys Over Flowers and I love it

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    not boys over flowers… but your usual rich guy , poor girl formula.. where rich guy can only be healed by the poor girl

    I am stuck after ep 3.. maybe will find the motivation one day to finish s1

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We got the news today that one of my dad’s childhood friends, who had been in the hospital for a few weeks, had passed away. I feel sorry that my dad lost someone he grew up with

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    🫂 ❤️
    I get it and can empathize, Mani— you’re not alone! The same thing happened to my mum in hearing about the passing of a childhood friend of hers last year

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    I’m so sorry! A big hug. You’ll have to give another one to your dad.

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    Oh gosh, so sad.

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    I understand how you feel. My dad is a veteran. Many of his friends were his comrades on the battle fields, they together went through life and death. After they left the military, they went their own ways, some returned to be farmers, some went into business, my dad went to academia where he met my mom. Until now, the years in the military is still the most memorable life period to my dad. He doesn’t get to meet his comrade friends often because they are from different parts of the country, but whenever they get to be together, I can feel how happy my dad is. Many of them are gone now from old age and illness. Whenever I call my parents and hear about the passing of one of my dad’s friends, I feel so sad and nostalgic.

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    So sorry to hear about this sad news.

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Did I spend all evening yesterday binging Maxton Hall? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Way more than I expected. I liked the attention to both the leads and their families. As far as YA shows go, it was good

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I hate the fact that I am the kind of person who absorbs a lot of environmental stress. At one point, I need to stop torturing myself and wait for people to make their own choices. Its exhausting tbh

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    It’s called empathy, Mani. And you are fortunate to be that kind of person. Now you need to learn that being able to put yourself in other’s place doesn’t mean you NEED to do it. Always remember that putting yourself in the first place is not being selfish. You are just taking care of yourself. So when you feel you are being dragged into that kind of exhausting feeling, ask yourself this: what would I say to another person who told me they were feeling like this and needed air to breathe? Would I tell them to step back? If so, why am I not stepping back?
    Follow your own advice. Put yourself in the middle and be gentle to yourself.
    Takes time and practice, but I know you will do it.

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      Thank you for the advice Eazal. Its been difficult but I am trying to practice these things

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    When it starts to get overwhelming, take a deep breath, Mani. Write in your journal, or take a short break, go for a walk. Please be kind to yourself. Focus on what you can and should only do, set boundaries, and practice positive self talk. Remember that it is not your job to be everything to everyone. ((Hugs)) to you, Mani.

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My home is getting painted and the wall is being scrubbed and I am sick of living like this because its been ages. Also my brother has his semester exams and he is pissed

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I may be looking forward to this show more than I realised. Looks like Amazon is really going after the chick lit market

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Lovely Runner is such a great show that every time an episode ends, I am surprised that it is ending. I do not even realise the time passing

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Currently learning Excel and practicing with my monthly spending and looking at your spending, especially on food deliver, really does make it sink in

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    there is a famous saying…

    A: I have no money
    B: What happened to your money
    C: I am either wearing it or eaten it

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Lovely Runner is all the cuteness I needed to survive this weird time limbo I am in. It brings back all the feels that I love about K-dramas

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It is here and I am very excited for it. The all female cast in Bollywood is so rare and along with its subject matter, I am very curious to see how the makers deal with it

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The way I feel this song to my bones, having seen this story play around so many women in my life

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I started watching Shogun and my god is it so good. The best part about it is probably is its authenticity. It looks like the makers genuinely involved and respected Japanese professionals

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    There are a lot of interviews with the creators about how much they wanted to get the depictions of Japanese life in that time period correct, as well as recenter the narrative away from the original material’s “white savior” perspective. I’m glad to see their efforts paid off and the show is getting critical and popular acclaim.

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      As an Indian, I am acutely familiar with the white saviour complex and it has forever annoyed the life out of me. I love that this show is produced by westerners but at the same time they realised their responsibility in representing a culture and took active efforts to employ Japanese people. For me, this is what diversity in TV and film actually mean. Yes, you can make shows that depict a culture that is not your own, but you do need to involve people of that culture for the work to be authentic

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    The costumes are unbelievable! I love it. There’s a lot of background and BTS content about it available on You Tube.

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      Yes, they have their own podcast too. It is so much fun looking at everyone working so hard

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        Last night watching the Stick of Time episode, all I could think of was that these poor actors are always in the rain! It’s always raining! (And, the costumes must weigh a real ton when wet!)

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Beanies I was born in 2002 and I truly think the curse of my generation is having too much information that is floating around, overwhelming you which then makes you resort to social media

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    I feel you on that. We used to be limited to a few books on a topic but now, I don’t know how you guys handle the wall of information available. It would feel overwhelming to me too but I don’t do social media (unless DB counts).

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      And I was born in a generation in the middle between you and Manichan. Our struggle is that we are like a transit generation: having traditional bosses and having subordinates that are so free-spirited.

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        That must really be very frustrating, having the rules flipped on you

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      It is so frustrating sometimes. I am beginning to realise that the ability to disconnect from the social media world is a major life skill

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        I recall the first time some app asked if they could “push” alerts etc to me and I thought – hell no, nobody’s “pushing” me. It’s all about them generating more traffic and therefore making more $ for themselves.

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Recovering from food poisoning is a weird experience. Your appetite and cravings are coming back but the bad experience has left its mark and made you a bit more scared

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    Take it easy, a little bit at a time!

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    I totally know the feeling, Mani ♥️♥️ Take it slow, you really can’t rush it. It took me a month and a half before getting back to a regular diet, and even longer to be less suspect about what foods I could and could eat/what my gut could handle

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    Oh, that’s a bad experience, hope you’re on the mend. I’ve been there and can’t eat a couple of suspect foods to this day. Toast is good to help get back to normal .

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      Same! I just looked over my medical files last week, and I saw that it’s been 10 years since my e.Coli poisoning (the food poisoning experience I mention above)– literally February 2014– and my gut has never been the same. Even to this day 10 years later, there are some foods I can never go back to

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    It’s totally ok to be a bit apprehensive. Take your time. I hope you’re feeling better.

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Beanies how do you deal with family members who simply refuse to listen to what you have to say and are more comfortable simply staying in the problem? How do you ignore them?

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    Through time, I learnt that people never change unless they really want to change themselves, and that doesn’t normally come from people telling them to. Instead, you can do what makes you happy without changing them (trying to make the best out of the situation you’re in knowing you can’t change it)

    For example, they don’t listen to you. Well, people can be wrong sometimes or some most of the time. Just let them say what they want to say without responding knowing that what they say is simply not true. Some are comfortable avoiding dealing with their feelings/problems. You don’t ignore them. You understand that sometimes, people have misconceptions or thoughts or ways to dealing with problems that are different from yours. You don’t have to agree with them, and at the same time you’re not bound to respond to them/contradict them.

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      Thank you M. Its been hard. Its hard balancing your own mental health while looking out for your younger brother. He confessed to me that he has trouble with anxiety and finds himself overthinking way too much and I am trying my best to be supportive but it is exhausting, especially when I know my parents won’t understand

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    Some people are just procrastinators and you have to let them deal with their problems in their own time or when they can feel comfortable dealing with the problem at hand. You have done your part, you can move on feeling comfortable that you have done the right thing. Also, you have to trust them that they will do what is right eventually. Cannot force them your way even if you think your way is the right one. Sometimes, the more you push your way unto them, the more you will have the opposite effect. You have to be hopefull and remain strong and positive. And be patient. That is one thing I learned with my own children, because I was more impulsive and impatient when I was young like them.
    My advice is to keep your mind preocupied with something else so you won’t feel anxious and think about it all the time. Find a hobby, read a book or watch a kdrama. You will see that time is all that it takes for the problem to be solved. And you will spend all that time doing something pleasant for you instead of worrying all the time. Controling your mind and your fears is probably the hardest thing to learn as an adult.

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      Thank you so much for your advice. I will try to incorporate the things that you have suggested. Adulthood seems harder as time goes on and learning to cope with all the stresses and fears seems to be the actual challenge

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        Adulthood is hard and we all have been trying to manage it as best as we can.
        The best conclusion that I have come is that I should focus on things I can control and that started with me and my own thoughts and fears. But that was not as easy for me as for others. When you described what your brother goes through, the anxiety and the overthinking, it is exactly how I was and how my children are. I started to read a lot about it and I found out that meditation helped to quit the mind. When you try to not think about anything, you will see that the mind doesn’t stop and goes on doing its thing. It takes practice to catch that thought, ignore it and quit the mind again. It helped me later to notice when and why I started to get anxious and to learn how to stop it. There are few books, mainly used for sport psychology, that helped me a lot, The chimp paradox and The inner game of tennis. I also blocked for a few months any outside influence that trigered any unecesary anxiety. For me it was the news or movies, anything that tried to influence my thoughts. I remained in the present with real people around me. It was a period of self discovery and I learned how to deal with stress better. But it is something that I work on all the time, it is hard to break old habits.

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          Thank you. I looked up on ways to support people through anxiety and I did advise my brother to give meditating a shot and willing himself to calm down when he feels things are spiralling. I know that is how much I can do, the rest is up to him. I will definitely check out the books you have suggested

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Okay, the one thing I hate is people giving me the silent treatment. If you have a problem with me, say it. Stop giving the silent treatment, especially if you are a 50 year old woman

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So my mom completely blindsided me about something and now I am stressed and upset. I am so absolutely tired of trying to keep it together

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I feel awful these days. Its been a hectic few days due to house renovation and my interview. It feels like i am fraying from the edges and its not a great feeling

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    Oh no. So sorry to hear this. I hope that things will slow down soon so you can regroup and do some self care even if it’s just eating well, sleeping enough, getting some fresh air and some quality down time.

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    My dear Mani, hang in there!
    You are doing great and this will pass.
    I know how hard it is right now, and mainly overwhelming with so many things happening, but you are strong and determined.
    And you have us.
    It’s a win-win.
    😘

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I think I just have a bad habit of absorbing someone else\’s stress. When my brother is hyperactive and stressed while studying, I tend to get antsy too

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    That’s totally fair – we talked about this at my in-laws over dinner last night actually. I think we all tend to be influenced a least a little by the atmosphere in the room, but that can get even more absorbed when you’re with someone for an extended period of time and your understanding of the situation is deeper

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