The first time I read a novel in English, I was surprised to know how often people used the word ‘love’ in their everyday live. They said it like it was a common word: to sign off their message, casually thrown before they hang up, a simple word to describe their feeling for each other. I don’t know how true it was in real life, but I found myself marveling at it.
I don’t speak for all people in my country, but in my family, love is a big word. A heavy word. We used it (the literal translation of ‘love’) to describe love for our country, for God, for things greater than our existence. It felt like a formal word, a concept that’s too distant to encompass the messy human emotion for each other. Instead, we have other word to describe that feeling. The closest translation in English I could find is ‘affection‘. We used that instead to describe what we feel for our friend, family, and lover. But even that, I can count on my hands how many times we said it to each other during all these years.
I guess we are just people who can’t directly use the word love to convey our feelings. But we hug, pat other’s head or shoulder, we said “take care” and “I miss you”. And we understand that that was our language of love. Thinking back, participating in this event these 2 years is probably the only occasion in which I can sign off my writing with the word ‘love’ without feeling cringy. So, with that spirit in mind…
I can wholeheartedly relate to this!
I speak four languages, and I think English is the only one that is so at ease with using the word “love.”
In my native language, it’s also something you never hear. Not that people don’t mean it, but they express it in other ways. “I love you” is the kind of thing you hear in poems, or songs and such, or in extreme situations of life and death.
So, I’m also not that comfortable using it in english, even though I verbalize it in other ways
I appreciate this, the Love, February post and your response as well. Its something that I’m constantly wondering about when I’m watching dramas. “How come no one says I love you?!” And sometimes I get frustrated because SAY IT, DANG IT!
(how funny, a pizza commercial just came on for Marcos pizza and they said Love no less than 4 times. Including, “love is limitless”)
I was watching CLOY last night and getting so irritated. Who knows when you’ll see each other again? SAY IT. So, to come here and read about other cultures relationship with the word…quite fitting. and lovely. Does that count as overusing the word?
“Does that count as overusing the word?
LOL, in this case, I don’t think so.
But I kind of understand your frustration too, if you’re used to hearing it.
In a sense (but not always), I think people’s actions are so much more revealing. People can say things and not mean them, but one’s actions will oftentimes show you their real intentions.
English has really only one word for all kinds of love so that’s one reason why you see it in books so frequently. I think that seeing and hearing it a lot makes the word easier to use. Although I may love chocolate, that love is nothing compared to the love I have for my children which is different from the love I have for my husband or a dear friend. THE FOUR LOVES by CS Lewis broke down what love was for me and it’s a great book for this month’s theme as well. I hope you’ll read it sometime. I do think that we may actually use the word too liberally in our culture.
This is so right. My language clearly has more than 10 words for love and all mean a different kind of love. That is the reason why they aren’t that frequently spoken and it can also get cringey. People prefer using “love” because it’s used so often so it kind of grows old (loses some of its essence as well) while all those words hold a weight.
@ally-le, I also love C.S. Lewis’ The Four Loves! Great recommendation! I think another, although perhaps a bit less academic and more intense would be The Great Divorce because there are definitely vignettes in which one of the parties thinks what he/she is describing is love…when it actually isn’t. Ah, C.S. Lewis, what a great thinker, lay theologian, and writer!
This is so right. My language clearly has more than 10 words for love and all mean a different kind of love. That is the reason why they aren’t that frequently spoken and it can also get cringey. People prefer using “love” because it’s used so often so it kind of grows old (loses some of its essence as well) while all those words hold a weight.
Ally, I am reading it at the moment and I was literally going to comment the same thing. (I also think of you every now and then when reading it)
Gadis, read it, honestly. It’s amazing and so insightful about all the different human loves, and the One True love that is God.
My first reaction was oh, i love this, and then I chuckled and stopped myself. Hehehe. How easily I use the word (does it fall too short or is it too big? I ask myself). What can I say then…I admire, respect and enjoyed this. I find it clever and insightful, thought-provoking and well-written. I’m happy I spent time to read it, and happy to spend time to think it over more. I was reminded, too, of some lines from one of my favorite poems (abbreviated here): “This is not Love, perhaps, Love that lays down its life…But something written in lighter ink, said in a lower tone, something, perhaps, especially our own.”
Thanks for this Gadis <3
9
0
Modal title
Modal title
Modal title
Modal title
A verification email has been sent to your new email address.
Please click the link in that email to complete the email change process.
Modal title
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit,
sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna
gadis
February 3, 2020 at 2:16 AM
Musing about ‘Love’
The first time I read a novel in English, I was surprised to know how often people used the word ‘love’ in their everyday live. They said it like it was a common word: to sign off their message, casually thrown before they hang up, a simple word to describe their feeling for each other. I don’t know how true it was in real life, but I found myself marveling at it.
I don’t speak for all people in my country, but in my family, love is a big word. A heavy word. We used it (the literal translation of ‘love’) to describe love for our country, for God, for things greater than our existence. It felt like a formal word, a concept that’s too distant to encompass the messy human emotion for each other. Instead, we have other word to describe that feeling. The closest translation in English I could find is ‘affection‘. We used that instead to describe what we feel for our friend, family, and lover. But even that, I can count on my hands how many times we said it to each other during all these years.
I guess we are just people who can’t directly use the word love to convey our feelings. But we hug, pat other’s head or shoulder, we said “take care” and “I miss you”. And we understand that that was our language of love. Thinking back, participating in this event these 2 years is probably the only occasion in which I can sign off my writing with the word ‘love’ without feeling cringy. So, with that spirit in mind…
dengan cinta,
February 💕
gadis
February 3, 2020 at 2:16 AM
@katakwasabi @leetennant @ally-le @snarkyjellyfish @bebeswtz @msrabbit @kat23 @hebang @ndlessjoie @yuyuu @lugirl131415 @tspmasala @willow @moomoomoondog @carmen @hotcocoagirl @mindy @sicarius @coffeprince4eva @suriyana-shah @pinklolipop @kimbapnoona @justme @greenfields @wishfultoki @raonah @moana @anothernicole @khalessymd @oppafangirl @natzillagorilla @acacia @sweetiepie54 @waterhyacinth @isthatacorner @fatcat007 @maybemaknae @tsutsuloo @egads @pineapplegongzhu @rukia @eazal @babybeast @bammsie
Yuyuu, The Drama Queen
February 3, 2020 at 5:56 AM
I can wholeheartedly relate to this!
I speak four languages, and I think English is the only one that is so at ease with using the word “love.”
In my native language, it’s also something you never hear. Not that people don’t mean it, but they express it in other ways. “I love you” is the kind of thing you hear in poems, or songs and such, or in extreme situations of life and death.
So, I’m also not that comfortable using it in english, even though I verbalize it in other ways
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
February 3, 2020 at 8:13 PM
I appreciate this, the Love, February post and your response as well. Its something that I’m constantly wondering about when I’m watching dramas. “How come no one says I love you?!” And sometimes I get frustrated because SAY IT, DANG IT!
(how funny, a pizza commercial just came on for Marcos pizza and they said Love no less than 4 times. Including, “love is limitless”)
I was watching CLOY last night and getting so irritated. Who knows when you’ll see each other again? SAY IT. So, to come here and read about other cultures relationship with the word…quite fitting. and lovely. Does that count as overusing the word?
Yuyuu, The Drama Queen
February 4, 2020 at 3:56 AM
“Does that count as overusing the word?
LOL, in this case, I don’t think so.
But I kind of understand your frustration too, if you’re used to hearing it.
In a sense (but not always), I think people’s actions are so much more revealing. People can say things and not mean them, but one’s actions will oftentimes show you their real intentions.
Eazal
February 3, 2020 at 4:00 AM
There are many ways to say “I love you”, and those three words it’s just one.
Ally
February 3, 2020 at 4:02 AM
English has really only one word for all kinds of love so that’s one reason why you see it in books so frequently. I think that seeing and hearing it a lot makes the word easier to use. Although I may love chocolate, that love is nothing compared to the love I have for my children which is different from the love I have for my husband or a dear friend. THE FOUR LOVES by CS Lewis broke down what love was for me and it’s a great book for this month’s theme as well. I hope you’ll read it sometime. I do think that we may actually use the word too liberally in our culture.
Briiaaann
February 3, 2020 at 4:37 AM
That’s a nice recommendation Ally! I will put that in my reading list. I love any CS Lewis book.
gadis
February 3, 2020 at 5:02 AM
*adding The Four Loves to my super long to-read list*
Thanks for the recommendation, ally.
wapz
February 3, 2020 at 6:47 AM
This is so right. My language clearly has more than 10 words for love and all mean a different kind of love. That is the reason why they aren’t that frequently spoken and it can also get cringey. People prefer using “love” because it’s used so often so it kind of grows old (loses some of its essence as well) while all those words hold a weight.
pineapplegongzhu
February 3, 2020 at 6:52 AM
@ally-le, I also love C.S. Lewis’ The Four Loves! Great recommendation! I think another, although perhaps a bit less academic and more intense would be The Great Divorce because there are definitely vignettes in which one of the parties thinks what he/she is describing is love…when it actually isn’t. Ah, C.S. Lewis, what a great thinker, lay theologian, and writer!
wapz
February 3, 2020 at 6:56 AM
This is so right. My language clearly has more than 10 words for love and all mean a different kind of love. That is the reason why they aren’t that frequently spoken and it can also get cringey. People prefer using “love” because it’s used so often so it kind of grows old (loses some of its essence as well) while all those words hold a weight.
mugyuljoie is preciousss
February 3, 2020 at 12:15 PM
The Four Loves is a wonderful book!
💜🍍☠ Sicarius The Queen of Melonia ☠🍍💜
February 4, 2020 at 3:19 AM
Ally, I am reading it at the moment and I was literally going to comment the same thing. (I also think of you every now and then when reading it)
Gadis, read it, honestly. It’s amazing and so insightful about all the different human loves, and the One True love that is God.
another woodalchi nicole recruit
February 3, 2020 at 6:55 AM
My first reaction was oh, i love this, and then I chuckled and stopped myself. Hehehe. How easily I use the word (does it fall too short or is it too big? I ask myself). What can I say then…I admire, respect and enjoyed this. I find it clever and insightful, thought-provoking and well-written. I’m happy I spent time to read it, and happy to spend time to think it over more. I was reminded, too, of some lines from one of my favorite poems (abbreviated here): “This is not Love, perhaps, Love that lays down its life…But something written in lighter ink, said in a lower tone, something, perhaps, especially our own.”
Thanks for this Gadis <3