Family by Choice: Episodes 5-6

10 October 25, 2024October 25, 2024

Family by Choice: Episodes 5-6

by starrygazer

This week’s episodes have our three musketeers on rocky ground. The boys are at odds with each other while our heroine is trying desperately to keep her family together. With the cracks starting to show, I don’t think things are going to go her way, and I’ve got a very uneasy feeling about where things are headed.

EPISODES 5-6

We are transported back to Hae-joon punching San-ha at the end of last week and see the fallout from that. Whilst the boys are getting into it Dad Yoon is giving San-ha’s mum a reality check. Not that San-ha’s mum is listening — she goes on about how Dad Yoon has ruined San-ha; he used to be an obedient child. Urgh, I just cannot warm to or sympathize with this woman one little bit. When Dad Yoon and San-ha’s mum go outside, San-ha’s mum has a few nasty words for Dad Yoon’s parenting style and flounces off. (Has she seen a mirror lately?)

Joo-won is close to pulling her hair out trying to get the boys to make up, and makes them go on a bike tour with her. Joo-won has a cold and is doing the cycling of four people (it’s a quadricycle) because the boys aren’t helping – poor Joo-won looks exhausted. She storms off, because instead of making up, the boys spent the whole bike ride bickering and hand flapping at each other in the back haha. Joo-won’s friend PARK DAL (Seo Ji-hye) is becoming more of a pivotal character this week. Dal is late to get there for the bike ride and is approached by a group of boys on her way. Joo-won sees this and runs over to help, causing her to collapse from exhaustion and dehydration. There’s a whole misunderstanding where Hae-joon and San-ha race back to Joo-won and start a fight with the boys, ending up in the police station. Woops.

At the police station the boys call Dad Kim, and when San-ha realizes these boys were trying to help Joo-won he does the right thing and apologizes to them. Once everything is resolved, Dad Kim takes them home and tells them not to tell Dad Yoon – he’s got enough on his plate. It seems like Dad Kim takes the level headed/lateral thinking role of the family whereas Dad Yoon is the emotional leader of the family. (They balance each other out well.) This encourages San-ha to call a truce with Hae-joon, since he knows they are causing worry and stress for the two dads and Joo-won. They decide to “pretend” they made up. Haha.

Jumping forward to Hae-joon’s birthday, it’s so cute that Dad Yoon has a sign on the door that reads: “We’re closed today because it’s my son’s birthday.” This made my heart swell. San-ha asks Joo-won to be nice to Hae-joon’s aunt, if you can’t say anything nice… Joo-won hates the way Hae-joon acts when his aunt is there. He plasters on a smile and gets really loud. We have already witnessed Hae-joon’s mask coming on for his aunt in previous episodes, so it’s nice that this hasn’t gone unnoticed by his family.

Now, I find it hard to empathize with Hae-joon’s aunt too. She makes a big deal about Hae-joon paying back his debt to Dad Yoon, causing Dad Yoon to get drunk and go for her jugular. He asks why on earth would a child pay back his parent for raising him. Dad Yoon proceeds to tell her Hae-joon is such a good kid and doesn’t deserve to be pushed around by her. It was hard not to half laugh and half sob at this point for me. Dad Yoon asks her what Hae-joon did so wrong to deserve being treated like this, and he has a point.

Hae-joon overhears his aunt telling San-ha that the two boys are different (because San-ha is Dad Kim’s biological child). And San-ha corrects her: the dads don’t think that way and she shouldn’t worry about it. San-ha is so grown up and intuitive, he knows when to speak up and when to hold his own council. These scenes were tragic in a way, but cathartic too — well, until his aunt apologizes to Hae-joon even though she doesn’t understand why she is apologizing. This is why I find it hard to empathize with this character. I understand her point of view but she does not think about how her words and behaviors affect Hae-joon’s fragile mental state.

While out buying a birthday present for Hae-joon, San-ha and Joo-won walk past San-ha’s step-sister SO-HEE (Kim Min-chae). So-hee has been left at a table (in a restaurant) while her mum goes to the bathroom, and she chases after her “oppa.”

So-hee stumbles and grazes her knee, causing another angry outburst from their mum when she arrives a few moments later. Of course San-ha’s mum has a go at him with her “this always happens when you’re around” statements. And thankfully Joo-won jumps to San-ha’s defense. Again, it’s so hard for me to understand this character. San-ha’s mum does point out (in a conversation with Dad Kim) that she wasn’t the only one who wasn’t there when their daughter died. True, but does that excuse the way you’re treating your other child like a murderer who owes you an apology?

So-hee causes more bedlam when she goes missing in search of San-ha again. Dad Kim finds her and brings her to Dad Yoon’s restaurant only for another unpleasant exchange to happen. San-ha’s mum screams at San-ha that it was his fault his sister died (in front of everyone), and from that moment on San-ha avoids his family.

It’s so unfair for San-ha to have to carry this burden. San-ha’s mum must think it’s okay to behave like this, but what would she do if he acted out like other teenagers? Would she still push him around? It is touching when the family all reach out to San-ha in different ways letting him know they are there for him, and it seems Hae-joon has realized his mistake in getting mad at San-ha for the way he is with his mum. It’s really sweet when he does go home and they have a family meal, with tears and laughter. The way a family should be, warts an all. *Sniffs*

In another monemt of healing, Dad Kim takes San-ha to the columbarium to see his deceased sister. Dad Kim accepts his part in San-ha’s sister’s death — for not being home with them — and encourages San-ha to not feel guilty. And Dad Kim tells San-ha not push his new sister away if he doesn’t want to; he wants San-ha to follow his heart. From a dad that doesn’t say much, when he does it’s so profound it nearly broke me. I vote for Dad Kim to talk more. *I’ve used my last damn tissue – send help!*

This week, we see some stronger moments where San-ha’s feelings for Joo-won are starting to come to the surface. They have a Cinderella moment where San-ha places a shoe on Joo-won’s foot, and a moment where he goes to stroke her hair and has to stop himself, hah. Then there’s a scene where Joo-won goes out in her pjs and slippers to meet San-ha with an umbrella and we get a tropey “gazing at each other in the rain” moment. All this after San-ha’s heavily hinted to Joo-won that she is just as dense as Hae-joon for not knowing how he feels about her. And in the final scene this week, Joo-won falls on top of San-ha and there’s more heavy gazing. My oh my there is a lot of tension in this scene, but I fear it will be brushed under the rug next week.

Things are getting rocky for our three musketeers, but there’s also a fourth that’s been popping more into the story. Joo-won’s friend Dal was nearly caught by her pushy mum for blowing off her academy to spend time with our three musketeers. In an effort to cover her back, Dal tells mum she’s struggling with math so she was going to ask Joo-won’s brother for his notes to help her out. Dal’s mum is so overbearing that she insists they ask Joo-won and her brothers to meet them for a steak dinner. During this dinner, Dal’s mum is absolutely awful to Dal, making out she’s stupid (which she’s not) and timid (which she is – poor girl). Our three musketeers see that Dal has been crying and decide to take her to the beach after the meal to cheer her up.

This trip reveals that there are actually many similarities between Dal and San-ha: they are both quite serious and thoughtful. While Hae-joon and Joo-won are frolicking at the ocean’s edge, our two serious characters have a frank conversation. San-ha asks Dal if she remembers making friends with Joo-won when she lost her shoe running around trying to help Joo-won. San-ha explains that lawyers (what Dal wants to do after school) don’t just talk well, but they run around and sort other people’s business out like it’s their own. He reminds Dal that her mum is just a human being and if she remembers that it will bring her peace — that’s what he does. It’s really hard not to like San-ha. *Heart eyes*

My favorite characters are our last point of call this week. Our two dads haven’t had it easy in any way, shape, or form in these two episodes.

Dad Yoon couldn’t have looked more surprised when Hae-joon’s mum turned up, not to mention with that envelope to pay her debt back and a little extra for looking after Hae-joon. She wants him to keep her visit a secret as she has no intention of taking Hae-joon with her, while Dad Yoon tries to return the money. Later, when Dad-yoon is quietly telling Dad Kim what happened, our poor puppy Hae-joon hears every word. And it’s heartbreaking.

In contrast, the best moment this week was Dad Kim telling San-ha’s mum she’s a weak person and at fault too for what happened to their daughter. I loved this. She may have slapped him, but she needed to hear it. If everyone owned up to their own accountability here, San-ha wouldn’t be shouldering all the guilt and blame on his own. San-ha’s mum does try to gain some sympathy by saying she was depressed all alone with the kids while Dad Kim was always at work. Still, that’s not an excuse for her behavior. More heartbreak is on its way, I fear, and I’m not sure I’m ready.

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1 tabong

October 25, 2024 at 12:10 PM

I liked these episodes better than the previous two. I think it's because we had less school and more home scenes.

I really love chef dad. And he almost made me cry with that drunk rant. I was kinda expecting him to say "I wish I would've adopted him earlier so he didn't have to meet an aunt like you" or something like that. LMAO

I was SO done with that woman. She literally left her nephew with him, and TEN YEARS later acts like it's shocking that he isn't a stranger anymore for the kid? Like, girl, that's HIS son. You've never heard of adoption? Just thank the universe you didn't dump your nephew with weirdo and move on. Live your life and let them live theirs. It's been ten years.

I don't understand what concept aunt and her sis have about family, that ten years later they're talking about money as if anyone would raise someone else's kid thinking "well, in the future they'll pay me back so it's okay" 😂😂😂 Istc it makes no damn sense. With that logic, of course those two left their family with a total stranger. LMAO

Btw, has she been making Hae Joon feel bad about his existence every single one of his birthdays? To like, make him feel like he shouldn't have been born or something? Maybe she's just evil? She hates him secretly? I think I dislike her more than San Ah's mom (I skipped her scenes so maybe that's why).

2. Someone else noticed that the parents have the classic dynamic?

I was wondering what was going with Police O dad when his son was not eating the most important meal of the day for like a week. We just know that Chef dad sent him food with his siblings, but what was PO dad doing that whole time?

And then I just realized that we never see PO dad interact with the kids unless it is at the table with the whole family. Also, we barely see Chef dad working.
His restaurant is there so the parade of bad moms, aunt, and bio dad can have somewhere to go.

And it seems like everyone in the little universe of the show knows about who's raising the kids, and who's making the big money. San Ah's mom blames Chef dad for raising San Ah "wrong", and aunt keeps talking about how San Ah doesn't have to do anything because his dad makes the big wons. I think in the second episode Chef dad complained about PO dad not helping much with the chores at home too... 🤔

I was expecting something different, but this is interesting too.
I'm glad at least he had that scene with San Ah. Tbh, I had forgotten that San Ah's sister was his daughter until SA said it. We never get to hear much about what ahjussi feels.

3. I don't know what's going to happen with Ju Won's storyline in the future since she's the only one without annoying relatives, but I feel like there's something in her past that makes her so obsessed with her family. Is it because of the bullies?

The three siblings live in this private bubble which no one can enter (the way they treated that kid who like JW was so damn rude), and I...

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tabong

October 25, 2024 at 12:12 PM

The three siblings live in this private bubble which no one can enter (the way they treated that kid who like JW was so damn rude), and I kinda get way San Ah and Hae Joon would be like that, but I don't get Ju Won. So I'm wondering how bad her school life was.

Dan is her first friend ever, right?
Even when she interacts with her, it's all about her oppas. She would ignore her (or literally anyone) just for them.
She didn't even know (and probably didn't care) about Dan and her mom/family. So I'm wondering if there's an explanation of why she's so dependant on/obsessed with them.

PS. They did Dan's mom an Sky Castle mom for what? Just because all women need to be horrible in this drama? If they add another awful mother I'm out.

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2 Kafiyah Bello

October 25, 2024 at 1:24 PM

The writer has a HUGE issue with mothers. My goodness what did they do. They are all so hateful.

I was also very grateful chef apa told emo about herself and she had the grace to be ashamed. She was projecting her guilt onto him and she didn't need to.

Here comes the romance, lol. I get it though, San Ha, I don't think he has ever once thought of her as his sister and she has always fought for him, so the crush makes sense. Hopefully no love triangle.

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miso

October 25, 2024 at 2:45 PM

I don't know why I never thought of 이모 being romanized as Emo but it makes so much sense here 🤣. Can't stop laughing!

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Elinor, Team Glasses team co-captain

October 25, 2024 at 5:09 PM

I thought maybe it was autocorrect judging her!

I’m still giving the aunt a break for not taking in Hae-joon at the time his mother abandoned him. She had a young child abruptly thrust on her at a time in her life when she was unprepared to handle it, and when it could have compromised her future as well, since she was preparing for exams. (And we see that she got a good job.) She must have been grateful and relieved when Noodle Dad offered to take him, not knowing it would permanent. Making it all about money, and constantly telling Hae-joon he has to pay it back - and to make himself as small a presence as possible in the meantime - is a lot less forgivable. I think the show wants us to see this as a product of her guilty feelings, and it’s also showing up the cruelty of Korean emphasis on blood relations, but it comes across as both unkind and clueless, since people keep telling her out loud “it’s not like that.” She shares that trait with her sister, though, so there's another irony of their obsession with "real" family.

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miso

October 25, 2024 at 5:25 PM

I give her a break too for not taking in Hae-joon as a struggling student. Maybe even for the endless gratefulness speeches because she seems to rarely interact much with their family and might not understand their dynamics.

But when she repeated her whole spiel again to San-ha right after Noodle Dad's emotional speech, I really lost all patience. She reacted enough to cry at his words and five minutes later was talking about how Hae-joon should do more household chores because he's not the 'same' 🙄.

I think the drama is also over-reliant on using cruel words to show societal prejudices about blood relations. Even with the neighbours or schoolmates - nobody really goes around commenting about people's families that much and esp. not to their face day-in, day-out!

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Kafiyah Bello

October 25, 2024 at 5:59 PM

Lol, not autocorrect.

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Kafiyah Bello

October 25, 2024 at 6:00 PM

Lol, 🤭🤭🤭

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3 geminirat

October 25, 2024 at 5:03 PM

Thank you for the recap, @starrygazer! Like your analysis, Dad Kim seems to be the typical father while Dad Yoon is obviously the mother in this family dynamic. And I love it! I think Ju-won is focused on taking care of her brothers. However, she also came to Dal's rescue when the three boys were badgering her.

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4 Elinor, Team Glasses team co-captain

October 25, 2024 at 5:31 PM

I appreciate that the recaps, like the show, do not enforce traditional gender norms by forcing the two dads into stereotypical Dad/Mom roles. They’re being exemplary parents in their own ways. As @9TailedVixen said on a previous thread, Noodle Dad (both dads, in fact) can adult like a boss. Cop Dad may not say as much, but he’s got plenty of emotional intelligence, too. He’s spent some time since his daughter’s death reflecting on instead of frantically looking for a scapegoat. (Looking - GLARING - at you, San-ha’s alleged mom.) And I think he's been tamping down his own grief and guilt for years so as to not add to San-ha's burdens, and that's why it's harder for him to check in on San-ha emotionally.

It looks like San-ha’s younger sister died from a reaction to a nut allergy. Maybe the mom blames him for having nuts or giving them to her? San-ha has already said more than once that the two children were left alone without food. (This is not a request for info from the C-drama.)

I know the show is just messing with us, but Dal and San-ha do seem like a better match right now in temperament. I’m worried about where her frequent lying is going to lead, though.