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Family by Choice: Episodes 1-2

Our found family cuteness has arrived! Grab your cuppa and a blanket to enjoy the warmth of the opening episodes of Family by Choice. But after being introduced to our makeshift family, it’s clear how fragile and lost these kids are — and how the two dads are holding things together. It seems some external pressure is coming their way, too, and we’re left wondering if this family will be able to maintain their bond.

 
EPISODES 1-2

Family by Choice: Episodes 1-2

To start, we are taken back to 2003. We meet loving dad YOON JUNG-JAE (Choi Won-young) – whom I will be calling Dad Yoon — and his daughter YOON JOO-WON (Jung Chae-yeon). They have a sweet and sincere relationship, and Joo-won’s sunny disposition definitely reflects her father and his attitude towards life. Outside of their apartment, new neighbors are moving in upstairs, and it’s (partly) another branch of our makeshift family in the present: KIM DAE-WOOK (Choi Moo-sung), whom I’ll be calling Dad Kim, his son KIM SAN-HA (Hwang In-yub), and San-ha’s mum.

Dad Yoon introduces himself and makes small talk to his new neighbors. After Dad Yoon makes an innocent remark about how the new neighbors are a family of three, he is subjected to San-ha’s mum being rude and storming off. It turns out that the new neighbors were a family of four until a year prior — their daughter was left alone in San-ha’s care and she died. Sorry, but who leaves an eight-year-old in charge of a younger child with no adults present? (Just saying.) That night Dad Kim and San-ha’s mum have a very loud argument – he dared to remind her that she wanted to move where no one knew them, so she should be reasonable with people/neighbors. There are no surprises when the police show up to the disturbance. It is a little bit of a surprise, though, that Dad Kim is a policeman, and he subsequently manages to get the officers to leave. Poor San-ha hears everything. He is so withdrawn and upset he refuses any kindness from the Yoon family – to start.

Family by Choice: Episodes 1-2

It breaks my heart to see San-ha go home to see Dad Kim tidying up (the things his mum broke in her rage). Dad Kim explains to him that his mum isn’t angry, she’s just sad, so they shouldn’t get angry with her. San-ha goes home after school every day and cleans up his mum’s soju bottles and snacks, and feeds himself ramyeon while Dad Kim is at work. There’s no care for San-ha at all from his mum; he’s acting more like a parent than she is.

At one point San-ha overhears Dad Kim and his mum arguing (again) because she blames San-ha for his sister’s death. San-ha’s mum can’t bear that San-ha can eat and smile when mum can’t – wow she is a nasty piece of work. We don’t know what happened exactly, but from my perspective, and what we know so far, the adult is to blame here not the child. So take your guilt elsewhere, sister — which funnily enough she does when she begs Dad Kim to let her go. She leaves with a suitcase and a nasty parting remark for San-ha. (Urghh – good riddance!)

Our third musketeer is KANG HAE-JOON (Bae Hyun-sung) who is brought into town by his mum. She’s been set up on a blind date with Dad Yoon by a local neighborhood ahjumma. Joo-won is not impressed because she doesn’t want a replacement mum (Dad Yoon is a widower), and she does not take kindly to Hae-joon because of this. The two kids are sent outside to play and come across San-ha walking with two bullies behind him. The bullies are talking about San-ha’s sister’s death and how it’s all his fault, and this gets Joo-won’s back up. All the kids end up in a scuffle (even Hae-joon with no prior knowledge of what’s happening – bless him) and the aftermath of this is handled beautifully by Dad Yoon.

Family by Choice: Episodes 1-2

Bully’s mother demands an apology for the three kids fighting with her son, but Joo-won loses her temper again and reiterates what the son was saying about San-ha. San-ha tries to leave and Dad Yoon stops him, standing behind him. He demands an apology for Bully’s careless words. When Bully apologizes, the look of sheer adoration for Dad Yoon on Hae-joon’s face doesn’t go unnoticed by his mum. Dad Yoon is pretty cool; I’ve warmed to him already.

On the bus home it is apparent how much Hae-joon’s mum loves him; she seems genuinely thrilled he enjoyed his time on this blind date. The atmosphere suddenly shifts, however, when Hae-joon’s mum receives a phone call. Next thing we know, Neighborhood Ahjumma is telling Dad Yoon she thinks something is off because Hae-joon’s mum has changed her number and cut contact with everyone she knows. Neighborhood Ahjumma points out that this is an extreme action for a blind date that didn’t go very well. Furthermore, Dad Yoon receives a phone call from Hae-joon’s mum asking for money which she will pay back when she sells her hair salon. Weird!

Family by Choice: Episodes 1-2

Hae-joon has been left at his aunt’s house while his mum has gone to Seoul to “make money,” assuring him she will come back for him when she can. Now, Hae-joon’s aunt has absolutely no interest in looking after him. So when Dad Yoon goes to check on Hae-joon and to bring him some food, he finds him in a dirty room, eating ramyeon, and left completely alone. Dad Yoon being the good human he is, asks Hae-joon if he wants to come and stay with him. Hae-joon’s little face lights up, and I suspect aunt doesn’t really care, so Hae-joon goes to stay with Dad Yoon. So this is the final piece of our makeshift family: Hae-joon, the positive ball of energy who uses a smile to hide his sadness, joins them. When they arrive at Dad Yoon’s place, Hae-joon tells Dad Yoon that he wishes he was his real dad. Dad Yoon looks touched and tells him he can call him dad while he’s there – this is just adorable.

Skipping forward a decade to 2013, we see how this family tapestry has knitted together. San-ha is still taking on a parenting role when it comes to Joo-won and Hae-joon. He supplies them with snacks, advice, and backs them up when they’re in trouble. Joo-won annoyingly still treats Hae-joon as an outsider, but they bicker like siblings and she leans on him when she needs to. It seems the two boys are always solving Joo-won’s problems for her, and at this point her personality is still reminiscent of the child we met in the beginning. Hae-joon is sweet and so eager to be accepted he plasters on a smile and a positive attitude most of the time, regardless of how he’s feeling. But he reminds me of an innocent puppy with his knack for people pleasing.

The boys are the same age and getting ready to take the college entrance exam, and Joo-won is a first-year at their school. It’s quite comical that Joo-won is dreading how many girls are going to be after her to deliver confession letters to her “brothers” and then get angry with her when they get no response haha. Hae-joon suggests she acts crazy to get the girls off her back which she does, but this backfires on her eventually. It works the first time: when a girl spits at her, Joo-won grabs her hand and drags her through the school acting crazy… only for Joo-won to trip and end up falling into a pond haha. Yep, that will get them to label you crazy.

This “crazy” image does backfire on Joo-won, though, when she ends up in a disagreement with Hae-joon’s ex-girlfriend. There was a misunderstanding where Joo-won thought this girl was San-ha’s girlfriend instead, and long story short, San-ha informs Joo-won of her mistake (and totally throws Hae-joon under the bus to stop Joo-won being mad at him haha.) Anyway, Miss Ex-girlfriend gets into an argument with Joo-won because she hates that Joo-won says the boys are her family. Miss Ex-girlfriend snarls they can’t be family, because they aren’t blood related. This strikes a cord for Joo-won because she keeps trying to get everyone in their “family” to legally change their names, or have a legal adoption, and they won’t do it. Joo-won fights her case to Miss Ex-girlfriend – quite eloquently might I add – leaving the girl seething.

Miss Ex-girlfriend runs after Joo-won and falls, grazing her knee, only to play the victim and say “crazy” Joo-won is bullying her because she doesn’t like her. Hae-joon steps in trying to diffuse the situation, but things start to turn nasty. In the nick of time, San-ha arrives and puts an end to this ridiculous accusation. Miss Ex-girlfriend dumped Hae-joon because she liked San-ha better, but San-ha couldn’t care less. *Claps for San-ha* When he threatens to expose Miss Ex-girlfriend for this, she soon changes her tune. To make it up to Joo-won for not telling her he had a girlfriend (which made Joo-won mad), Hae-joon buys her a cake and she finally lets it go. Drama seems to follow Joo-won wherever she goes. She’s still young, but this was nothing a simple conversation wouldn’t fix.

Our boys are being needled by their past throughout these episodes. San-ha refuses phone calls from his grandmother who calls to brag about how San-ha’s mum has a new life: a rich doctor husband, a new child, and a huge apartment. There’s also more needling for Hae-joon when we find out Hae-joon’s aunt seemingly visits Dad Yoon from time to time. Hae-joon sees his aunt leaving Dad Yoon’s restaurant and walks her to the bus stop, where he offers her cab fare because she’s heavily pregnant. His aunt refuses this as it’s Dad Yoon’s money, not Hae-joon’s, telling Hae-joon he has to pay back Dad Yoon every penny when he can. Hae-joon is reminded by his aunt “not to be a burden” and to “read the room.” Lovely.

Not only does Hae-joon have his aunt being mean to him, but now someone is tailing him. There is a strange man taking pictures of his basketball practice, and Hae-joon chases him out. This man drops his camera and runs off, but when Hae-joon looks, all of the photos are of him. Hae-joon passes the camera to campus security and is told later on that the strange man collected his camera and left his card — he’s a private investigator. This leads us to the final scene where Hae-joon is at a basketball practice when a man in a flashy sports car shows up. The man walks into the basketball court and announces he’s Hae-joon’s father. Boom. What a place to leave off! (Also, do you think he may be the reason Hae-joon’s mum is in hiding? My presumption, but just a thought.)

All in all, it was a strong start to our new show. We know how they have become a family by choice (heh), and they each have a story to share. The characters are warm and likable for the most part, which I need to be able to be fully invested in a show. It will be nice to find out a little bit more about our two Dads’ backstories. And I look forward to seeing our three teenagers mature and grow. I’m not one for teenage angst in dramas, but I’m sure it’s a plot device to set us up for the story to come. So I’m fully on board – for now.

 

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The child actors were fantastic!

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Thanks for the recap @starrygazer I loved the start to this drama. The two dads being friends and sharing the burden of childcare is great as it limits the kids exposure to the toxic adults in the community.

I am always amazed at the age that children are left alone in dramaland. Dramas have teens living in properties without parents so they go to school and navigate adult life which is ridiculous but we see it with much younger kids with part time parents, My beloved summer and Dear Hyeri.

I am looking forward to seeing how this drama plays out as it did a good job showing the impact of the adult’s issues on the children.

I get that two single parents dating don’t have to hide their children from each other but why bring the children into it at blind date phase when the adults may not even go anywhere after the first meeting. I don’t know what Dad Yoon would be gaining from the relationship as she wasn’t selling herself well. I do wonder why the Halmoni was getting involved in his business when his family unit was doing just great as he was balancing parenting and working and keeping home just fine.

I look forward to seeing where this story goes with the rich ‘dad’ coming to claim his boy when the mum is clearly avoiding her parenting role by not visiting her son for ten years. Unless she is out of the country what stops her from having face to face contact or video calls so he can recognise her current appearance not what her back looked like walking away from him ten years before.

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It may be a cultural thing, because in India too, a widower with a young child - especially a young girl - has a lot of community pressure to re-marry to provide a "mother" to his child. And in most such cases, only divorcees or single mothers are the only "right" candidate for this kind of arranged re-marriage.

And regards to the missing mother, there were some weird looks on San-Ha's and the aunt's face whenever Hae-joon returning to live with his mother was mentioned. I wonder if she is even alive? Maybe she needed the money for a terminal illness, but never made the recovery? But the "dad" showing up was a good surprise - wasn't expecting that so soon!

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Did I cry? Yes. Am I in? Yes.

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I liked it and am looking forward to next week. As I was watching it I already had the feeling of "I wish this was a finished drama so I could binge it".
To me it definitely has a more polished feeling than the Cdrama, but also may be missing a little of the warmth that drama had. But still happy this is out, I want some cozy feel good shows.

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I absolutely adored Go Ahead, so I'm really excited to watch this one. I'm doing my best to turn off the part of my brain that compares dramas so I can fully enjoy the ride. Looking forward to seeing more of the trio!

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Same here! Go Ahead is my favourite C-drama for the found family healing drama trope & faux-cest trope. Poignant, heart-wrenching, uplifting, cathartic, and absolutely hilarious too.

I waited months to watch Family By Choice, after learning about the remake. Let's see if they can distill the best of that 40-parter into 16 eps and still make it memorable ❤

+ They had that cute Seok-Ryu to play the kid version of girl!!!
- But they cut that iconic sidesplitting scene when she announced her first period!!!

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I absolutely ADORE this drama right from the get-go. I hadn't watched the original C-Drama and so I didn't know what to expect but it's ticking all my boxes and as I mentioned elsewhere - the 1st episode is both adorable and heartbreaking.

The two dads are examples of positive masculinity, especially Noodle Dad. So I'm really looking forward to seeing how the whole family drama plays out.

Sorry, but who leaves an eight-year-old in charge of a younger child with no adults present?

Um... this is very typical in Asia. My mom left 3-year-old me looking after my sister while she ran down the road to buy veggies. 8-year-old me was already babysitting 2 younger siblings.

Yeah, it isn't good. It's called "parentification" and it mostly happens to oldest daughters (not so much oldest sons). Many have their childhoods and teen years sucked up by helping their mother with childcare. I suspect that this is one of the reasons why an increasing number of Asian women are going child-free. When you've spent your growing-up years being made responsible for your siblings but not given the authority to keep them in line and being blamed for their bad behaviour, you just decide to opt out of having kids because you don't want to spent your entire life raising kids.

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Re:Um... this is very typical in Asia. My mom left 3-year-old me looking after my sister while she ran down the road to buy veggies. 8-year-old me was already babysitting 2 younger siblings.

It is pretty typical in W. Africa too. They will leave 5 yr olds with 3yr olds. An 8 year old is old enough. Alas, it does happen.

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Thank you for the recap @starrygazer! I loved these three musketeers. Dads are great, JW is everyones sunshine and the boys need someone to shower them with love especially HJ.

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Favorite moment: San-ha’s “maternal grandma” calls and they all pile choice morsels into his bowl to console and distract him. These kids are so pure, I can’t stand it. It’s jarring to see adult actors playing teens, as usual, but they capture the sulky teen vibe. And there's clearly still a lot to learn about the dads, especially Dad Kim (Police Dad), who is keeping everything bottled up.

San-ha’s mother struck me as someone crazed with grief and guilt. The loss of a child is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person. This is just a drama, not reality, but in reality that terrible loss commonly contributes to divorce and other family relationship breakdowns, and I don’t find it so unbelievable here. Of course it’s wrong and horrible for her to blame her son for her daughter’s death to his face, but I take that as both an expression of her extreme grief and Kdrama’s typical exaggeration, as well as villainization of mothers (especially mothers of sons).

Likewise, I don’t blame his aunt so much, either. She’s already overwhelmed with her exam preparation and then has a young child dumped on her with no warning or preparation. The mystery of Hae-joon’s mother’s disappearance will be revealed eventually. I suspect the show will eventually exculpate all of the parents - except that “I’m you dad!” guy, ‘cause he is SUPER sus.

As for the nosy neighbor - I’m pretty tired of this stock character, but she’s done her job to advance the plot so maybe we’re done with her.

I didn’t see Go Ahead, don’t care about it, and don’t find that comparisons add anything to the enjoyment and discussion of this drama that we’re watching. I worry it’s going to go in a melo direction, and that’s already showing at the end of episode 2, but so far it’s enchanting.

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100%. I bet Hae Joon's dad is some kind of abuser, because his mother was running from something. The I'm your father, lol, guy was off.

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Found family theme is so heartwarming!

When they announced the remake of Go Ahead, I was the most curious about the choice of the actors for the fathers roles and they didn't miss the target! I love both actors in their roles of fathers.

How Hwang In-Yeop is still playing teenager at 33 years old? I wonder if they will move on quickly to their adult life.

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Is it only me thinking the C drama version is better? They manage to cut all the good parts (Ziqiu's childhood story, the FL's friendship). And Tang Songyun and Zhang Xincheng are amazing. Also the dads have more dynamic and nuance.

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Trying not to compare as that is the root of all discontent. Sincerely hoping that the moms in this Korean version get an upgrade in character development. The Cdrama dads were angels while the moms (except for the dead one) ranged from uncaring to straight-up sociopath. The child actors in both are absolutely wonderful.

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I agree that when we watch two versions of the ‘same’ story it leads to comparisons and we have all learnt the hard lesson of managing expectations. Hopefully, those of us that loved the C drama will be making choices about whether to stay with the original and walk away at this point or watch this one as a variation on a theme judged on its own merit and not bring in areas of comparison in case other beanies decide to try out the much longer Chinese version.

I am glad they bring out remakes as I usually find one version fits better for me but often can watch and enjoy elements of both.

I think the last drama that was a major disappointment for watchers of the original was Someday or One day and the remake A time called you, which was never going to be on the same level due to originality of the concept. I preferred the K drama as the original was too dark for me.to watch more than a couple of episodes and the song got on my nerves. For people like me the remake was a way for me to get some of the original concept in a format that worked for me.

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Haha! I agree with you wholeheartedly! I watched all 4 versions of F4. The Taiwanese Meteor Garden, The Korean Boys over Flowers, The Japanese Hana Yori Dango and the Chinese New Meteor Garden.

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The shift from being siblings to possible love interest is really scaring me. Having not seen the original I have no frame of reference. How will they do it?

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Surely not the strongest part in the original. Didn't work for me. Never cared for the romance storyline.

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I’ve never watched the original, and even I saw/read some stuff online about it not being done great 😬

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Do you want a spoiler of the original?

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Once anyone sees a spoiler here, they can't unsee it, whether they wanted it or not. It would be a great kindness to do any spoiling or comparison on the fanwall, where anything goes in terms of drama discussion. Many viewers will not have seen the original, and may prefer to let the Kdrama tell its own story in its own time, without prior expectations.

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@coffeprince4eva mention me on your fan wall and I will explain

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Thank you for the recap, @starrygazer! Wow! I watched because I liked Hwang In-hyeop but I really liked these first episodes. I haven't seen the Chinese version, but based on the premise, I'm going to enjoy this one.

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Strong start and it's moving along at a good pace. Mini-JW ran away with episode 1: what a star!

Plenty to make your heart twinge here, but HJ hit hardest. The abandonment; the fact that he's still haunted by the trauma; the trying-to-be-helpful-but-absolutely-not aunt feeding his insecurity. This character could shatter me if Hello-I'm-your-dad ends up wringing him through the mill again.

Dads are fab, and I'm sure we'll get more of their back stories. What we've got so far has been deftly woven in to the present narrative. Happy to have started it.

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The Aunt and her guilt tripping is my least favorite part. 🙄 At least the mothers both clearly abandoned their boys but the aunt neither taking responsibility nor providing any comfort or solace is living her life while making Hae-joon feel guilty for living and smiling. How is she any different from San-ha's mom and her toxicity.

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While I admittedly watched the C-drama on fast forward, this is too abbreviated. Episode 1 was a bunch of highlight scenes from Go Ahead without the parts that made the original compelling. Instead of building up the events and getting into the complicated social pressures on the main characters, the writer just wizzes through the death of a child, child abuse, child abandonment, child neglect, and neighborhood bullying. It gave very little opportunity for introspection or nuance.

Episode 2 was a much better adaptation as major plot points were changed and adjusted with an actual thought to the themes of the underlying story.

However, the show often reverts to cheesy single person cams or high school cliches. It is just lazy production. And, I miss the scene where she gets her period. That was one of the best scenes in Go Ahead. It was so ridiculous.

Also, while the two male leads are doing a great job, the FL's acting is weak.

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Yes i was so looking forward to the scene where she gets her period. Definitely one of the best scenes in Go Ahead that defined Tang Song Yan's teen character.

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When Ha-joon’s useless aunt tried to lay a guilt trip on this high school student (along the lines, “Now you make sure to pay back every penny you have received from your ‘dad’ for the last 10 years”) I wanted to say to her, “No Hon, (that’s Baltimorese) if anyone should repay dad it should be you and his deadbeat mom. Ugh!

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Exactly, she turns up randomly to drop off cheap gifts and didn't make arrangements to see him but has got the time to guilt trip him😬 She is clearly building her own family but has no interest in her own nephew. How do they not feel shame that a man who meet the boy once has provided him with such consistent love and care whilst they treat him as a burden?

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I have seen Go Ahead and am watching Family by Choice now. At the moment, I am enjoying Family by Choice more. I think Go Ahead was great! But I think we are getting some tighter scripts here. The FL here wants a family but doesn't need to be taken care of by anyone. I feel like she is not a 2-dimensional character. I can feel the chemistry and the camaraderie amongst and within the whole clan, and i am loving it! I am sure others will prefer the original C-drama, but i think both shows will have loyal fans!

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💯 as you said both dramas will have their loyal fans. I am happy with this remake and agree with your views. Both versions have their own charm.

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Thank you for the 👨‍👧‍👦👨‍👦recap. The little kiddos were so perfect I wish we could have a few flashback scenes with them every episode. 😂

San-ha's mom is so textbook toxic that I just cannot be bothered by her. 🙄 Sadly, we have all had to deal with a few such persons in our lives. I cannot even think how traumatic it would be for little San-ha to not be able to get any comfort for the loss of his sister and on the contrary be gaslit and blamed for what surely is active negligence by the mother.

While his mother may have abandoned him, Hae-joon's equally negligent aunt is involved just enough to keep poking at his wounds afresh and reminding him of his outsider status. Keep your claws off him Ajhumma. 🙄

The only solace is to see the three little younglings Ju-won, San-ha and Hae-joon get love, support and security by 💙 Appa Noodles and Appa Cop 💙  to be able to live and thrive. A lot of well-meaning (!?) neighbors and jealous ex-girlfriend are all making snide remarks about their family. It is sad to see them having to justify them being together. I understand Ju-won's frustration and eagerness for them to be a family on paper / legally too because they already are a "real" family. 😊❤

We can see there are challenges looming ahead for our young kiadults and we hope they can overcome them all - together.

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