Seasons of Blossom: Episodes 13-14

by mistyisles

For years, our heroine has been carrying a huge load of guilt, and this week we’re invited to share in the full weight of her grief and longing. Meanwhile, certain present-day secrets are about to be dragged out into the light.

 
EPISODES 13-14 WEECAP

Jae-min finally tells Bo-mi about Ha-min and what happened to him. Having just arrived at the door, Jin-young watches as Bo-mi reaches for Jae-min’s arm in support. Then he turns and leaves them alone. By this point, Jin-young’s feelings for Bo-mi are undeniable, and though he’s hurt to see her with Jae-min, he doesn’t want to hold her back from the person he believes she really cares about. He officially breaks off their relationship, and Bo-mi goes along with it even though her feelings are a lot more complicated now.

But then things get even more complicated, because Jae-min and Sun-hee overhear them talking about the fake relationship. Specifically, they hear that 1) Bo-mi lied about liking Jin-young for Sun-hee’s sake, and 2) that Jin-young is certain Jae-min doesn’t like Sun-hee back and thinks Bo-mi should give it another try with Jae-min.

Sun-hee is furious, Jae-min embarrassed, and Bo-mi devastated as she watches her friendship with Sun-hee crumble. It would have been upsetting enough for Sun-hee to learn that Bo-mi had been lying all this time without the added jab at her feelings not being reciprocated — right in front of Jae-min, no less.

So while Jae-min is quick to accept Bo-mi’s apology, Sun-hee’s forgiveness doesn’t come so easily. She gives Bo-mi the cold shoulder, and ends up sort of joining Jin-young’s little friend group simply because they always seem to find the same detours to avoid awkwardly running into Bo-mi.

Only now that her plan has blown up in her face does Bo-mi realize how wrong she was. As she explains to So-mang, she thought she was being considerate — but really, she was being selfish. She was afraid that if she and Jae-min dated, she and Sun-hee might drift apart. Now she wishes she could go back and make better choices.

Her words take So-mang back to that last, horrible argument with Ha-min, causing her to imagine how things might have turned out differently if she’d gone right back to the rooftop and hugged him. Or if she hadn’t missed his text message asking for support. Or if they hadn’t been seen in the art room. Or if they’d never met at all.

But what ifs don’t change anything, she tells Bo-mi. The mess has been made — all Bo-mi can do now is try to pick up the pieces and start over. And So-mang is speaking just as much to herself as she is to Bo-mi. When Jae-min gave her Ha-min’s diary, he asked bluntly why she didn’t stay by Ha-min’s side when he needed her most, and she still doesn’t have an answer. Worse, reading Ha-min’s own words about how profoundly their relationship had impacted him has reawakened the overwhelming sense of guilt that descended on her as soon as she heard about his death.

Those feelings are further exacerbated when she meets her former classmate and bully, who shares how she found out about So-mang and Ha-min’s relationship while they were still in school. When she badmouthed So-mang out of jealousy, Ha-min called her out, making it clear he’d end the friendship if she kept it up. Now, the girl tells So-mang that she doesn’t think Ha-min would want her living in the past.

Finally, for what appears to be the first time, So-mang takes a personal day to visit Ha-min’s grave. She tells him all about becoming a student teacher and meeting Jae-min, breaking down in sobs as she apologizes for not being able to support Jae-min as much as she’d hoped to.

But things are about to get even worse for both her and Jae-min. As she heads back to the school, someone leaks a photo of the two meeting up at the art studio after hours — and with it, the accusation that she is dating a student.

Apart from a few scenes — the majority of them imagined scenarios that we know didn’t and won’t ever happen — we see almost nothing of Ha-min this week. Instead, we’re left to feel his absence as keenly as So-mang and Jae-min do. We experience each heartrending moment along with So-mang: finding out he was gone, processing the reality of his funeral, and reliving that last conversation over and over, wishing it could be changed. It’s incredibly powerful, but it’s also incredibly painful — I think I cried more over these two episodes than the entire rest of the show combined.

I appreciated the point about what if questions not changing anything, but I think there’s another point to make along with it in that these types of questions simply can’t be answered, at least not completely. Hindsight may be 20/20, but it still can’t definitively tell us what would have happened had different choices been made.

If So-mang had gone back to the roof that day, maybe she could have saved Ha-min. Or maybe she couldn’t have — maybe despair would have gotten the better of him some other day. That’s not to say it would have been pointless for her to try, but rather that what ultimately killed Ha-min was far more complex and deep-rooted than that one argument.

Ha-min needed more than just one person supporting him. He was failed repeatedly by so many people in his life that when the one person he’d put the last of his hope in inevitably fell short (because she’s human), he had nothing else left to cling to. That’s why I’m glad Jae-min was finally able to confide in Bo-mi, because — as I think they’re about to find out — So-mang trying to be Jae-min’s main supporter like she’d been Ha-min’s wasn’t sustainable or ultimately all that healthy.

As for Bo-mi, I’m glad that her secret is out, even if the way it came out wasn’t ideal. She seems to have learned from the experience, and she does genuinely care about Sun-hee (and both boys), so here’s hoping that she’ll be able to pick up those pieces and avoid making the same mistakes again.

 
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