I absolutely loved the way you wrote this.
It made me feel so many things, but what made this post so much better in my eyes was this single line....

"epic—spanning years and continents, lives ruined blah blah blah,"

I can just hear Logan saying this to VM.

I can relate to the topic of noona romances because I was in one, the only difference was that I had so many other hangups that the age was not much of an issue.

Being a noona in a relationship is both exciting, fun but sometimes so heartbreaking!

Love your write up... <3 <3 <3

Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I loved the way you intertwined characters’ experience with your own. Although you and Will’s story seems to have ended, your personal story still goes on and I am rooting for you as the heroine of your own story. Wish you the very best!

This is so beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing this with us. With all my protective barriers up, I have never allowed myself to even think of someone younger, so this is a thought-provoking peek into the 'realness' of a noona romance.

Thank you for sharing this. The noona romance is my favorite kind of drama rom-com (when done well) and your write-up reminds me that what I love IS only drama. I'm sending some cheers your way for taking the brave call to break it off ~ !

Nicely written and lived through

'Reader, I broke up with him.'
You know you got me when you use these types of lines from my favorite jane eyre.
Btw it was such a delicious read. I loved reading every part of it. And how I love these noona romances, whatever forms they come. I was glad to know that your boy finally erm managed to stick through, but I wish you guys didn't break up. Who knows your noona romance chapter II is waiting for you! ;) In any case wish you all the luck and love with your next romance book . :)

This is awesome. I, too, dabbled in noona romances, ironically, while I was halfway to being a doctor as well. What made them so addicting was how I was put on a pedestal in the boys’ eyes and you could see it in their eyes—those blue and brown puppy dog eyes. Being worshipped is hard to say no to. But it’s also not a very healthy way to live. I needed someone who would sharpen me, put me in my place when I needed to be, and someone I could depend on. Those were not college boys trying to figure out their own lives when I already knew what I was doing with mine. You’re right about many things, but the one that resonates with me is feeling that responsibility of getting the relationship timings right. When was it okay to take the next step? And it was exhausting. And it was never just natural. It was never Pretty Noona, the first 3rd of it. The first boy was 4 years younger, the second was just two. (I thought I learned my lesson the first time and put a smaller age difference between us.) I may have tried longer to make the latter work (his mom was Korean and LOVED me) if my now-husband hadn’t come into the picture. And that’s the fickleness of young love, and as you put it, “lives ruined.” I’ve seen most of these noona romances too and I enjoy seeing them dramatized. The first I’d seen was Biscuit teacher star candy and I couldn’t relate to it at all. Maybe if she had a different job and wasn’t actually his teacher would I have gotten on board. But Gong Yoo being green and in love is not to be missed if you haven’t seen it!

Beautifully written!
I’m not a fan of noona romances on or off the screen, but for some strange reason younger guys tend to like me (like 5-7 years younger!) Maybe I look young. 😂 It’s not something I ever considered trying, for all the reasons that you outlined.

I'm with everyone else: I absolutely love this and the way you wrote it!! It is so poignant, so touching! What you say resonated a lot with me, not necessarily because of the age factor aspect, but the way that different people approach love and relationships and the imbalance of weight that often occurs. I also really appreciated the dramas you used to present this and the flow of your narrative--it really drew me in. <3 <3 <3

Thank you for the beautiful write up 😊😊
You so eloquently put into words how you related to each of the different unnis in all the Noona romances in a way that wouldn’t have been able to even though I also relate 😅😅
Long story short, it almost happened between myself and a long-time friend of mine when, despite him being 2 years younger, we realized we had many of the same interest in books, same outlook in life, in our beliefs and faith, same values and morals on each of our friendships and relationships with family members.

The outcome?? It never happened.

I’d just finished my extended studies in my Communications degree, and he was just starting out in med school (he’s still in said med school, but in his specialty now)—and then there came someone else....
She was from out of town as an international student—her parents promised her the 4+ years of university, then 1 year extra after she graduated for her to “explore” and be on her own to see if she could find stability away from home before asking her to return— the same age as him, same year as him in university, just a different field of study (business). He, being the gentleman, would almost always be the one who drove her home after we all hung out because it was on the way for him. In a way, I guess, it was during all those car rides that things began to change for her, and in the end, for me and him as well.
Nearing the end of the other girl’s 1+ extra year in our city, it came to everyone’s attention that she had feelings for him despite not saying anything explicitly: She would almost always make her appearance known around him, follow him around, and gave everyone the stink eye—especially me—and became low-key possessive and quite territorial over him. Things got out of hand, many friends (new and old time ones) were made upset in the process, and by the time everything was said and done, when it was time for the other girl to leave—because she couldn’t find a job or stable lifestyle after graduation in her own degree— So many friendships and dynamics between people had been altered and impacted. The girl left with a perk in her step and thought that she had made life-long long-distance friends, while the friendships left here were made distant, period, because of her.

As for the relationship between myself and the guy? We’re still friends. Just not nearly as close as we used to be, and don’t even think about there ever being a chance of anything else happening

I absolutely loved this... Under the gorgeous writing is a deeply felt examination of the mystifying laws of attraction; from the irresistible rightness of it when it clicks, to the sad final notes when it strays into wrongfulness.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

One of the most beautiful writings I have read in a long time!
What a beautiful story and how well have you articulated it! Even when you said you broke up with him, it felt like part of your journey rather than the end.
I also saw how we grow up and see the same things in different light, as you spoke about your life.
I didn't have a noona romance, but still could feel everything you wrote, like I was quietly witnessing a montage shot of your life.
I wish you well dear Beanie! Take care.

Hey @raindrops (if that's the right account), I hope you write more. As everyone else here has already mentioned, it was a great writeup. It instantly drew me in as if I was watching your story unfold.

dear RainDrop,
this was such a beautiful read. You crafted your words so well to mix the pain of reality with the many many (partially) awesome Noona Romances out there and... I feel you. Been there, done that. Your words transported me to a time of whirlwind romance, of being swept off my feet and yet also to a time with so much strife. Like you, for many other reasons besides our 5yr gap, I broke it off, and have no regrets. But oh the experience of it.

Should you ever write a little novel of your experience, count me as your eager 1st readers.

Wow, @raindrops, I loved every piece of word you have written!!
I never had a noona romance, nor I would have wanted or will, but I identified so much with you in "having the romantic experience of a peanut"....Which it is ok, I don't need it, because I am a modern Artemis... I don't need men. But I like noona romance on my screen... there is something cute about it😉.
Thank you for sharing a personal story.

Everything about this is so considered and well-thought out. Thank you for sharing it with us.

That was absolutely beautiful, @raindrops (If that is you)! Thank you for sharing this.

Love this. :')

I so enjoyed reading your article! I totally agree with you on the noona romance and how the responsibility falls on the older one in the relationship. I applaud you and the way you made the hard decision. I'm sure it must have been hard but I want to say you did the right thing. Hope you found the right person who will love you the way you want to be loved!

very nicely written:-)

This was so engaging to read and I especially loved your Jane Eyre reference </3

also this line "Who doesn’t love to see the guy fall first, and fall hard, for a woman who goes unnoticed by others?" so very true, it's the main romantic ideal of many kdramas i feel haha but I hadn't noticed if this was a pattern of noona romances, that is interesting

Wow, beautiful write up! I just finished WWW, which also had a noona romance, and I remember reading everyone's comments about what a bore the female lead was and how she should just commit and not be a drag, etc. But everything you mentioned is very true, and I loved how the drama brought it up.

Kudos to you for having that experience, even if it was painful. I bet it brought a lot of vivacity and highs to your life, and even if it wasn't everlasting, personally I feel like those experiences are worth it. : D Keep on living and being yourself~~ Thank you for sharing!

Love, love, this! Thanks for sharing your story.

heh, I'm sorry but I was suddenly reminded of something. I was telling my friends about a childhood male friend I had. He's 2 years younger than me and I was passionately describing how much I teased him. Then they asked why I never asked him out or something along those lines, IDK. And I was like, "HE'S FREAKING YOUNGER THAN ME!"

I loved reading this. I felt a story and I felt i was transported into your world. I honestly don't feel it was the age gap that eventually led to the break up but different ideologies. And that happens in most relationships. I love your perspective and take on things. Wow.

Wow! Thanks for sharing this personal piece.
Loved reading it and am glad you have no regrets!

oh noooooo:( I feel sad over your break-up now :(
Great writing though! I loved how all the bits and piece formed a single story. Thank you for this :)

There's a throwaway line in the middle of your story that really made me sad - "I’m halfway to being nothing at all." I hope you don't really see your life that way, and that you don't define your worth by your career choices or material success.

This beautiful piece resonates with me so much. I’ve been in noona romances myself, and like yours, they never worked out.

At first the age gap was only a year, and when the next one came, it became a three-year gap. And then it was 5. And my most recent relationship had a 7-year age difference. No idea why they kept getting younger, but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. They found me first, and while none didn’t work out, but I guess the idea of being chased is intoxicating, at some points.

But again, while sparks did fly, sooner or later real life hits, and it hits very hard every time. And timing, as of now, is still not on my side. 😉

Thank you Raindrop for the wonderful essay. Noona romance is not my cup of tea (mystery, murder, mayhem and psychos are more my style in kdrama land.) Thanks for sharing your “real” life experiences.

Beautifully written...you definitely are very talented in expressing your thoughts.

I began to realize that left as we were, we would forever hang between an agonizing something and an empty nothing

*Sound when drinking a shot of soju and hearing a touching story*

What a great romance you had ! Yes, Noona romances are so charming. Thank you so much for sharing. But, as someone else said, I'm now rooting for your very own story to go on happily ever after.

God, this hits me so hard my face has a vibrant red mark from the slap, lol.

Not the noona romance aspect but absolutely everything else. Beautiful, affecting write-up. Thank you for submitting it.

This was such a wonderful read.

Loved your words! Emotions so in parallel to my own personal noona romance. I, as probably many other women in this situation, went through an arc of major feels. I remember when I first met June (nickname) at my local University no less. Me returning to finish up my degree and June, a fresh faced, new to the country (So. Korean) student following in his father's footsteps ... studying in America with plans to return home to take over the family business. We were in an upper math class and had both joined the sane after class study group. I played the 'nice but aloof' card to all my study mates being that I was much older and felt a bit out of touch with what I termed the 'kids'. They all reminded me so much of my first round of upper education many many years prior. I wanted to appear like an alike an adult laced with a sprinkling of cool. Initially June never factored in my brain as an actual adult male. More a soft spoken, highly intelligent kid. A kid that was insightful with a "quirky sense of humor as he navigating his way through his American experience. Imagine my shock when after a study session as I was walking to my car and he on the same route to the dorms asked me out. To summarize I'm thinking Out? Out where? You mean a date kinda out? Have you been drinking padre?! My response a very quick "NO, umm I'm sure you should be aware of this but I'm quite a bit older than you." June "Are you married or in a are you in a relationship? Me "That is not the point!" June "I understand" Conversation E.N.D.
As I'm driving home I am a bit stunned and laugh it off as 'well I must have kept my looks for a kid to ask me that'.. HAHAHA..
Fast forward many weeks later and now I can't get this 'kid' out of my head. I start to notice everything about him. How he dresses, the way his hair is cut. That cute left dimple that is displayed when he smiles/laughs. His interesting he is and his frankly insightful comments when asked a variety of questions about his country. Honestly what is wrong with me? The semester is over. We both pass the class and say our goodbyes. I'm relieved yet I'm struck by how melancholy I've become. Fast forward a couple of days and I get a call (ok folks this is when ppl actually still had home phones) and guess who? June "Now that our class has ended, I'd like to invite you to dinner". Me "umm.. sure ok" Just like that I decided well we could be friends. Friendship is perfectly responsible right? That first date lasted six hours.. and also led to some major highs and sinkable lows to include two years of separation. Flash forward to now. yep we are together and it was NOT easy.. must fire a fury from his parents.. my mom was a bit more open minded but still worried. We did not have it easy but we did stay true to ourselves and each other as it related to the experience we shared. So yea noon romances touch my heart. High school King of Savvy 'cast' kiss. A...

.

Loved your words! Emotions so in parallel to my own personal noona romance. High school King of Savvy thrilling 'cast' kiss. A Witches Romance OMG I just saw his ID and he's only this age moment! Pretty Noona Who Buys Me Food indecisive moments. I Hear Your Voice playful banter. Secret Love Affair's dark side of a 'forbidden' relationship. This list is long and I truly love seeing so many facets of noon romances. There is always a piece of these dramas that I can truly relate to. I, as probably many other women in this situation, went through an arc of major feels. I remember when I first met June (nickname) at my local University no less. Me returning to finish up my degree and June, a fresh faced, new to the country (So. Korean) student following in his father's footsteps ... studying in America with plans to return home to take over the family business. We were in an upper math class and had both joined the same after class study group. I played the 'nice but aloof' card to all my study mates being that I was much older and felt a bit out of touch with what I termed the 'kids'. They all reminded me so much of my first round of upper education many many years prior. I wanted to appear like an alike an adult laced with a sprinkling of cool. Initially June never factored in my brain as an actual adult male. More a soft spoken, highly intelligent kid. A kid that was insightful with a "quirky sense of humor as he navigating his way through his American experience. Imagine my shock when after a study session he asked me out. To summarize I'm thinking ... Out? Out where? You mean a date kinda out? Have you been drinking padre?! My response a very quick "NO, umm I'm sure you should be aware of this but I'm quite a bit older than you." June "Are you married or are you in a relationship? Me "That is not the point!" June "I understand" Conversation E.N.D.
As I'm driving home I am a bit stunned and laugh it off as 'well I must have kept my looks for a 20+ kid to ask me that'.. HAHAHA..
Fast forward many weeks later and now I can't get this 'kid' out of my head. I start to notice everything about him. How he dresses, the way his hair is cut. That cute left dimple that is displayed when he smiles/laughs. His interesting he is and his frankly insightful comments when asked a variety of questions about his country. Honestly what is wrong with me? The semester is over. We both pass the class and say our goodbyes. I'm relieved yet I'm struck by how melancholy I've become. Fast forward a couple of days and I get a call (ok folks this is when ppl actually still had home phones) and guess who? June "Now that our class has ended, I'd like to invite you to dinner". Me "umm.. sure ok" Just like that I decided that friends could go out right? That first date lasted six hours.. and also led to some major highs and sinkable lows to include two years of separation. Flash forward to now. yep we are...

Loved your words! Emotions so in parallel to my own personal noona romance. High school King of Savvy thrilling 'cast' kiss. A Witches Romance OMG I just saw his ID and he's only this age moment! Pretty Noona Who Buys Me Food indecisive moments. I Hear Your Voice playful banter. Secret Love Affair's dark side of a 'forbidden' relationship. This list is long and I truly love seeing so many facets of noon romances. There is always a piece of these dramas that I can truly relate to. I, as probably many other women in this situation, went through an arc of major feels. I remember when I first met June (nickname) at my local University no less. Me returning to finish up my degree and June, a fresh faced, new to the country (So. Korean) student following in his father's footsteps ... studying in America with plans to return home to take over the family business. We were in an upper math class and had both joined the same after class study group. I played the 'nice but aloof' card to all my study mates being that I was much older and felt a bit out of touch with what I termed the 'kids'. They all reminded me so much of my first round of upper education many many years prior. I wanted to appear like an alike an adult laced with a sprinkling of cool. Initially June never factored in my brain as an actual adult male. More a soft spoken, highly intelligent kid. A kid that was insightful with a "quirky sense of humor as he navigating his way through his American experience. Imagine my shock when after a study session he asked me out. To summarize I'm thinking ... Out? Out where? You mean a date kinda out? Have you been drinking padre?! My response a very quick "NO, umm I'm sure you should be aware of this but I'm quite a bit older than you." June "Are you married or are you in a relationship? Me "That is not the point!" June "I understand" Conversation E.N.D.
As I'm driving home I am a bit stunned and laugh it off as 'well I must have kept my looks for a 20+ kid to ask me that'.. HAHAHA..
Fast forward many weeks later and now I can't get this 'kid' out of my head. I start to notice everything about him. How he dresses, the way his hair is cut. That cute left dimple that is displayed when he smiles/laughs. How interesting he is and his frankly insightful comments when asked a variety of questions about his country. Honestly what is wrong with me? The semester is over. We both pass the class and say our goodbyes. I'm relieved yet I'm struck by how melancholy I've become. Fast forward a couple of days and I get a call (ok folks this is when ppl actually still had home phones) and guess who? June "Now that our class has ended, I'd like to invite you to dinner". Me "umm.. sure ok" Just like that I decided that friends could go out right? That first date lasted six hours.. and also led to some major highs and sinkable lows to include two years of separation. Flash forward to now. yep still...

Yeah, for all the noona romances, you hit all in the head - the younger guy falls first but the responsibility all goes to the noona. I was in one but in a more complicated situation than yours. You were afraid of the 4 years? Mine was 14! The worst things was - I dared to hope that we had a future and just like you in the end, I broke up with him. So, every time I watch noona romances, I tell myself - that was me during my stupid time!

i was so hooked and moved, i am not sure if i am reading a "hey that's me" reaction or a new premise to an upcoming drama. <3<3<3