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Because This Life Is Our First: Episode 5

Every once in a while, special dramas come into your life that not only leave a lasting impression, but also alter how you emotionally connect and interact with Korean dramas. For me, this is one of those dramas. I know it’s a really grand statement, and I know we’re really early in the show, but every week this show brings something new, interesting, and utterly human to its viewers. What’s the level above “obsession?” Because I think that’s where I am right now.

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Episode 5: “Because this is my first promise”

Ho-rang arrives at a cafe to meet Ji-ho and spots Su-ji already sitting down at one of the tables. They exchange outraged glances before turning away, and Ji-ho finds them sitting back-to-back at the same table waiting for her. Heh.

They complain about being tricked to meet up, until Ji-ho announces that she has something tell them both.

Meanwhile, Se-hee interrupts a meeting to ask how many of his colleagues bet on his sexual orientation during their last outing. Sang-gu clumsily tries to deny that such a bet ever took place, until Se-hee begins taking a count of hands on the various possibilities: gay, straight, or asexual.

Only Bo-mi had chosen straight, so Se-hee congratulates her on winning the bet, before promptly getting up to leave. Sang-gu follows him out and tries to placate Se-hee, assuming he’s lying about his marriage and lashing out because of the bet.

He peppers Se-hee with questions, certain that his marriage is fake, until Se-hee says directly that his bride is pretty—very pretty. This seems to be enough to convince Sang-gu, and he becomes giddy with excitement, then cheers happily about how Se-hee is in love at last.

Back at the cafe, the girls are equally confused by Ji-ho’s announcement. Su-ji is suspicious and starts asking pointed questions about Ji-ho’s relationship timeline, because the math doesn’t add up. The biggest plot hole is how quickly her relationship with Se-hee developed, since Su-ji knows that Ji-ho is not the type to warm to someone so fast.

Ji-ho replies that Se-hee is someone that she “needs” in her life, and the word only makes Su-ji more skeptical, until Ho-rang excitedly chimes in that Ji-ho must’ve fallen in love with Se-hee at first sight, and that’s why they are getting married so quickly.

Ji-ho nervously confirms it, awkwardly calling their meeting fate to convince Su-ji, which causes Ho-rang squeal with glee.

After she leaves, Ji-ho cringes just thinking about her fate comment, and guesses that she must be getting better at acting after writing a few dramas.

On the way to Se-hee’s parent’s house, they exchange accounts on their friends’ reactions to their news. They aren’t totally truthful with one another (Se-hee says that he “took advantage of the nature of male evolutionary psychology,” and Ji-ho says she used a “storytelling method”), but neither presses for more information.

Inside, Ji-ho scans the house for some clues on his parent, and easily pegs Se-hee’s mom as a typical caring mother character, whose main concern is for her son to quickly marry and bring peace back within their family. She categorizes the father as a run-of-the-mill educator character (having been a civics teacher for thirty years), both character types that Ji-ho is very familiar with from writing daily dramas.

She starts to think about how easy handling Se-hee’s parents will be, but her thoughts are cut short when Se-hee’s father grumpily enters the house before walking right by the new couple. He registers their presence just as he reaches his bedroom door, then turns to look at Ji-ho fiercely, and Ji-ho whimpers internally.

They sit down for dinner, and Mom comments on her misunderstanding that Ji-ho was Se-hee’s tenant, so Ji-ho apologizes and says that she was too flustered at the time to tell Mom the “truth.”

Mom is understanding, but remarks that it would have been nice for the man in the relationship to clear things up—alas, Mom states, the men in her family are on the shy side. She does note that shy men are the type to take care of a woman wordlessly—the tsundere type. LOL!

Ji-ho remarks that a lot of men from Namhae are the same, so she’s familiar, and Mom makes kind of a backhanded compliment about it being rare for people from Namhae to go to Seoul National University.

Dad cuts to the chase and bluntly asks Ji-ho why she wants to get married. Dad points out that that since she was a writer, she must’ve been passionate about her career, so he wants to know why she would quit her job and rush to get married so suddenly.

Se-hee shoots back hotly at Dad’s invasive questions, and Ji-ho gathers herself to provide an explanation, however, when she refers to Se-hee very politely (and distantly), Dad zeroes in on it, which causes Se-hee to asks sarcastically if this is some kind of interview.

It looks like a fight is imminent, so thinking quickly, Ji-ho employs some aegyo (calling Se-hee “Oppa”) and says that she loves Se-hee, complete with some finger hearts.

The next day, Se-hee receives a text from Mom gushing about his lovey-dovey new romance. Se-hee only sighs and discusses the meeting with Ji-ho. Ji-ho mentions how nervous she was, and so Se-hee asks how she could have said that when she was so nervous.

He doesn’t have to say the phrase again for her to remember it, and he asks if she’s so good with bold lines because she writes dramas.

Ji-ho chokes on her bite after hearing him repeat her words, but then explains that his father seems like the straightforward type, and seemed to be waiting for her to say those exact words.

Se-hee replies offhandedly that the phrase “I love you” is something really easy to say, which surprises her, but she doesn’t say anything. They agree that the next step in their marriage ruse is to have the in-laws formally meet, and then they should be set.

After Se-hee leaves, Ji-ho looks at her group chat with Ho-rang and Su-ji, where she had asked if people are free for dinner. Su-ji replied that she can’t because of work, and Ho-rang notably never replied, which sends a worried look across Ji-ho’s face.

We cut to the two friends enjoying some drinks on Ho-rang’s rooftop, where they’re lounging around (and definitely not busy working).

Ho-rang looks and sounds a bit delirious, but when Ho-rang asks if she’s crazier than Ji-ho, Su-ji replies, “No.” LOL. Ji-ho texts Su-ji right then to ask if Ho-rang is okay, which Ho-rang immediately guesses (knowing Ji-ho’s personality so well), and in turn she asks Su-ji if she seemed jealous during Ji-ho’s announcement.

Su-ji smiles and says “just a little bit.” (Aww, I just love these girls.) Ho-rang finally texts Ji-ho to advise her on which dress to wear to meet Se-hee’s parents, which breaks the ice, and Ji-ho texts back with an apology for suddenly getting married now.

Ho-rang replies that Ji-ho can feel sorry only for today, but then remarks aloud to Su-ji that Ji-ho shouldn’t feel sorry at all, since it isn’t like she’s marrying Won-seok.

She suddenly starts getting excited for Ji-ho and begins asking Su-ji questions about what she knows about Se-hee (which isn’t much). Su-ji suggests they asks Won-seok when he comes back, but notes Ho-rang’s dour expression and realizes that they’re still fighting. Ho-rang states gloomily that Won-seok hasn’t come home in five days…

Turns out, Won-seok has been spending his time drowning himself in soju, and forcing Sang-gu to hang out with him. On this day, Sang-gu attempts to draw the line, and persuade Won-seok to go home, which naturally leads them to discuss Sofagate for what appears to be the umpteenth time.

Sang-gu racks his brain for something he misread about Ho-rang, while Won-seok seems ready to throw it all away.

At the same time, Ho-rang briefs Su-ji on her side of the argument, and Su-ji is incredulous that Won-seok would dimly conclude that she actually wanted a sofa. She chalks it up to his innocent personality.

Su-ji suggests Ho-rang just be upfront with Won-seok on what she really wants, but Ho-rang refuses because she doesn’t want to seem desperate.

Sang-gu actually hits the mark and mentions wanting a marriage proposal to Won-seok as a possible reason, but Won-seok argues derisively that Ho-rang isn’t like other girls. He lists all the ways Ho-rang went out of her way to curry favor with Won-seok’s professor while he was in school in order to help him with his career, and how she understands what an “important phase” he’s going through right now. Siiigh, this guy.

Sang-gu accepts Won-seok’s conclusion, and then has an epiphany: He tells Won-seok that Ho-rang is probably mad because he bought her the display sofa instead of a brand new one, and Won-seok is immediately convinced that they’ve solved the mystery.

That night, Ji-ho calls her mother to talk about the upcoming meeting of the in-laws, but instead, Mom just gives the phone to Dad before letting Ji-ho speak. Ji-ho comes out of her room as she ends her call with her Dad and tells Se-hee that she informed her parents about their no-wedding plan, and her Dad was okay with it.

Likewise, Se-hee says that he informed his parents of their plan, and received no pushback.

After a beat, Se-hee asks specifically how Ji-ho’s mother handled the no-wedding news; he explains that he can’t recall her mother having any kind of reaction before. Ji-ho thinks for a moment, surprised by the question, then says dismissively that since her family is so patriarchal, her mom usually doesn’t have an opinion. Oh Ji-ho.

She piggybacks on Se-hee’s question and asks specifically about his father’s reaction, since he too hasn’t said much for or against. Similarly, Se-hee becomes dismissive of his father’s opinion and says that he isn’t interested.

In her room, Ji-ho looks through her family chat room and realizes that her mother never really replies.

She texts Mom to ask if she’s sleeping, and Mom replies curtly that she is, which makes Ji-ho annoyed, since clearly, she isn’t. She then wonders if Mom is angry about something before going to bed.

The next day, the in-laws meet, and initially Se-hee’s mother and Ji-ho’s father dominate the conversation, expressing support and compliments for each other’s child. Se-hee’s mother mentions to Ji-ho’s mom how impressive Ji-ho is to go to Seoul National University when she’s from the countryside, and also how polite, innocent, and kind Ji-ho is.

Things become awkward when Mom snaps back that Ji-ho is just like everyone else, and at times can be immature and selfish like others her age. The mood becomes tense, but since everyone is desperate to get along, they seem to move on.

Ji-ho finds Se-hee outside settling the check, and when she offers to split it, Se-hee politely refuses since he calculates that her parents had to pay for extra transportation fee, and spent time traveling a long distance. Swoon. Fairly dividing the true cost of a meal was never so romantic.

They walk together back to their table, and Ji-ho comments on how much easier the process of getting married is than she had thought. She admits that she was afraid her family wouldn’t give their consent, so Se-hee replies that they probably did because they really do suit each other.

He points out that he has a house (though on loan), and she’s from a good university, but doesn’t have a job. He explains that his dad is an educator so of course he wants someone well-educated, but doesn’t necessarily want to look up to his daughter-in-law, so Ji-ho’s circumstance satisfies his hypocritical needs. She’s glad it worked out that way, and they head back.

Outside the door, they overhear Ji-ho’s mother firmly state that she wants the kids to have a wedding. Se-hee’s mother starts to defend the children’s decision, but her husband cuts in to agree with Ji-ho’s mother.

Afterward, Ji-ho and Se-hee go separately with their families to try and convince the opposing parent to give up on the idea of a wedding.

Mom won’t budge even under Dad’s pressure, then tells her family that Se-hee’s mother sounded so cocky when she was talking about Ji-ho being so kind and innocent, when she really means that Ji-ho should stay home and raise the children.

Mom storms off, and so Ji-ho follows after her to ask why she’s acting this way, since she has in the past said that weddings are a waste of money. Mom replies that it feels as if Se-hee’s family is looking down on them and wants Ji-ho to be a compliant daughter-in-law that they can control.

Ji-ho calls Mom’s thinking twisted, so Mom asks her the same question that Se-hee’s father asked her earlier in the episode: “Why do you want to get married?”

Ji-ho tries to downplay the powerful truth of that question and protect her lie, so Mom changes her question and asks about Ji-ho’s job as a writer. Ji-ho tells Mom that she quit, which is news to Mom. She begins demanding to know why they paid her college tuition if Ji-ho was just going to give up on her career so soon.

Her question cuts deep and Ji-ho becomes defensive, asking Mom if she expected her to become a famous writer and give Mom money someday. (Oof. Man, this show really just goes for it.) Mom criticizes Ji-ho for being stupid and not greedy enough to ask her in-laws for an expensive bag since she isn’t having a wedding, so Ji-ho hisses back:

“How can I get anything from them when I have nothing to give? What do we have? You can’t even afford a place for me to stay. You should feel guilty about what you are saying now. Writing? That’s what you can do when you have a good background. If you don’t have money, all you do is sleep. You can’t dream of anything.”

Meanwhile at Se-hee’s, things aren’t going much better: His mom is acting as a messenger, delivering barbed remarks from father to son across the living room (but also hilariously and ineffectively translating their words into more diplomatic statements), since they refuse to speak to each other.

Se-hee soon explodes and tells Dad to just be honest and say that he wants a wedding so he can show off his son and well-educated daughter-in-law to their relatives, and get back the money he gave out to other weddings.

He warns Dad to uphold his promise not to threaten Mom with divorce and stay out of his affairs if he got married, but Dad growls back that he won’t acknowledge Se-hee’s marriage without a wedding.

Ji-ho meets up with her girls after her blow-up with Mom. She reasons to them that they don’t have the money for a wedding, and so Su-ji wisely points out that wedding ceremonies aren’t really for the couple getting married—it is for the “investors.” She compares a wedding to a press conference before a drama, which is to draw attention to the show, and hopefully make a profit for the investors.

Su-ji argues that Mom is an investor in Ji-ho’s life, and would probably like to be compensated, but not necessarily with money, maybe just the act of seeing Ji-ho in a wedding dress is enough. Aww, these girls give great advice.

Ji-ho continues to push back that she and Se-hee don’t have the desire or finances to have a wedding, but keeps referring to Se-hee as her “housemate.” Luckily, Su-ji just attributes Ji-ho’s slip-ups as some kinky role-playing the couple does in the bedroom. Hahaha! Please no, omg.

Se-hee is also getting a drink with Sang-gu, who tries to convince Se-hee to go through with the wedding. Sang-gu describes a wedding as a strange event where people get excited to pay for their own meals, resulting in Se-hee’s benefit after they collect all the money gifts.

Se-hee refuses to be used as a tool to help his parents cash-in, and so Sang-gu sagely asks if Se-hee is willing put up with a lifetime of nagging, or lose two hours of his life and live peacefully for the rest. He finally makes the most compelling argument and calculates a very low-cost estimate for the shindig by using their acquaintances and trimming non-essential items, which has Se-hee seriously reconsidering.

Sang-gu recommends asking “him” for some help, and points to Won-seok passed out next to them. He identifies Won-seok as the friend who introduced him to Ji-ho.

Ji-ho and Se-hee return home after to report their failures and regroup. It seems like their conversations with their respective friends really helped, because they both simultaneously suggest having a wedding after all.

Later, at another company-wide meeting, Sang-gu tells everyone to clear their schedule for their company dinner on Monday. Se-hee excludes himself because he has a wedding to attend. He isn’t explicit about whose wedding it is, so Sang-gu makes a comment about the odd day of the week, and the strange people that chose it.

Se-hee points out that he’s getting married, and Monday is the cheapest day to host it. Oh also, he tells Sang-gu, he’s hosting it. Hahaha! This friendship is really cute too.

At Su-ji’s, Ji-ho gets a lovely, secondhand wedding gown from one of Su-ji’s friends. Ho-rang is worried that the dress isn’t good enough, but Ji-ho isn’t bothered by it. They discuss the guests that will be attending, and Su-ji asks if Se-hee has any dateable friends (hehe).

Ho-rang asks about the last guy she was talking to (Sang-gu), but Su-ji says that he was good-looking, but too distracting. Ji-ho then warily tells Ho-rang that she called Won-seok to invite him to her wedding, and says that he sounded pretty bad from drinking so much.

She asks if Ho-rang is going to call him, but Ho-rang is already referring to him as her “ex-boyfriend” since he hasn’t called in a week, and tells her friends cheerily that she’s going on a blind date soon.

Ji-ho and Se-hee finalize everything for their wedding, and go over the terms of their contract. Importantly, after two years, the contract will end. Additionally, they won’t officially register their marriage, and agree that the reason for divorce will be irreconcilable difference.

Later, Ji-seok comes by to deliver some banchan from Mom, and to ask for Se-hee’s number at Mom’s request. Ji-ho grows irritated with Mom’s meddling, and over-complication of her arrangement, and refuses to give Se-hee’s number.

She complains to Ji-seok about Mom’s weird behavior, and Ji-seok concurs. He leaves Ji-ho with one final thought and tells her cryptically, “Getting married isn’t as simple as you think,” but adds that she’ll understand what he means after she gets married.

On the day of their wedding, Ji-ho comes out of her room in her wedding dress, and Se-hee watches her for a long moment. He tells Ji-ho honestly that the dress suits her, and she thanks him.

They wait for Su-ji and Ho-rang to pick them up, but are informed that there is a huge traffic jam delaying them. Together, Ji-ho and Se-hee spot the exact bus they need to take them to the wedding hall, and soon, they are running down the sidewalk to catch it.

They find seats in the back of the bus, when suddenly, Se-hee asks if Ji-ho thinks she might need a handkerchief for the ceremony. He explains that his friend told him to bring one to wipe his bride’s tears when she cries.

Surprised, Ji-ho asks if she’s expected to cry, and her response comforts Se-hee, who was worried that she would. Ji-ho assures him that she isn’t the crying type.

Ji-ho sits in the separate bridal room to greet and take photos with incoming guests, with Bo-mi as photographer. Ho-rang and Su-ji show up in time before the ceremony, and together they gush about how beautiful Ji-ho looks and how unexpectedly handsome Se-hee is while taking photos.

At the entrance, the family members greet the incoming guests. Ji-ho’s mom sneaks away to “go to the bathroom,” but is caught by Ji-ho (who actually went to the bathroom) coming out of her bridal room.

Ji-ho accusingly asks what Mom was doing in there, but Mom pretends she got lost on the way to the bathroom. Annoyed, Ji-ho rudely asks why Mom wants Se-hee’s phone number, and Mom shoots back that she has every right to contact him.

Ji-ho harshly adds that she’s doing what Mom wants by having a wedding, so Mom needs to leave Se-hee alone—otherwise, Ji-ho warns, she’ll be angry. Her words hurt Mom, and she says bitterly, “I wish you could have a daughter like you.” Gahhhh.

Ji-ho returns to the bridal room, and Bo-mi informs her that Mom was looking for Se-hee’s bag to put something inside. Immediately, Ji-ho tears into Se-hee’s bag, furious with Mom.

We cut to the wedding hall, where Sang-gu tells all the guests to be seated for the ceremony. Bo-mi rushes over and whispers something into Se-hee’s ear, which catches him off-guard. He hurries to the bridal room and finds Ji-ho sobbing over Mom’s gift to Se-hee.

Se-hee looks over and sees an old photo album of Ji-ho’s life, and picks up a note addressed to him from Mom.

In the letter, Mom apologizes to Se-hee for her behavior at the dinner with his parents, and says that Ji-ho resembles her father at times, and other times, she’s like her friend. Mom adds that Ji-ho is afraid of her father, and has had to give up a lot because of her younger brother.

Mom states that thankfully, Ji-ho is really smart, unlike her, and because of this, Mom felt relieved because she thought that Ji-ho would not have to live like she did. Oh god, the TEARS.

To close, she asks Se-hee for two favors:

“If Ji-ho says she wants to write in the future, can you let her do that? I will do the house chores if that helps. So if she ever wants to write again in the future, please don’t let her give up on her dream. I don’t want her to live like me. Please do that for her. And… it’s hard for Ji-ho to stop crying when she starts. So, please don’t let her cry alone. Even though you make her cry, just be with her when she’s crying.”

Se-hee looks over at his crying bride, hunched over and trying to fight her overwhelming emotions as she tells him to go on ahead without her. He leaves as requested, but then returns shortly after, kneels down to the floor beside her, and says sweetly, “Is it hard to stop crying? If that’s the case, we should go together. It’s okay to cry. Let’s go together. I’ll be right next to you. I’ll be with you.”

She looks up at him as he extends his hand to her, as if seeing him in a new light, and thinks to herself, “I thought getting married was going to be simple. This is where we meet our needs. Maybe, it could be where our hearts meet. Something that’s not simple just started.”

Then, slowly, she takes his hand.

 
COMMENTS

You know that stage in a relationship when you definitely know you’re in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend but are afraid to say the words aloud because you think it might be too early—that’s roughly how I feel about this drama right now. Episode 5 seems really early to be full on sobbing, but it happened, and it was amazing.

Not only did I cry those deep, chest heaving sobs in this episode, but on my way to work the next morning, I teared up just remembering how much Mom’s words resonated so deeply with me. Her actions and heartfelt letter to Se-hee made me feel a kind of bone-deep fragility you only feel when someone (especially your parents) says to you, “I understand that you think you know everything in the world about your life and feel like you have to shoulder everything on your own, but I have your back even if we disagree, and even when we don’t fight fairly and kindly, because I know you, and I love you so, so much.” It’s a reminder that we are all definitely making things up as we struggle along, but that’s okay, as long as we remember that we’re not doing this alone.

I knew that Mom and Ji-ho were going to break my heart, but I underestimated how much and how soon. I spend hours upon hours of my life trying to anticipate and be ahead of these kind of emotional punches in media, but at the end of the day, when it’s executed in just the right way as it was today, I am always utterly defenseless. Bravo.

It’s funny because even though we all know the entire point is for Ji-ho and Se-hee to fall in love (and influence each other as they grow and become who they are meant to be whether they end up together or alone, etc.), since we still need to cement the full premise of our story, I’ve actually been getting swept up in Ji-ho and Se-hee’s strange but seemingly very rational decision-making that I almost actually believed this loveless marriage was the perfect solution for them. Thankfully, Mom righted me, and her taking a stand to spare Ji-ho from what she fears is her same fate was very moving. I’m scared to think of how hurt Mom will feel when she learns that the marriage is fake, but that just gives Ji-ho and Se-hee more incentive to make it real, right!? No one will ever know!

I’m also really excited to explore Se-hee and his father’s relationship a bit more, in the same way we did with Ji-ho and her mom. I liked that Se-hee’s father backed Ji-ho’s mom up during the wedding talk—it was sweet, and gave us some important insight into his character. I know Ji-ho assumes Se-hee’s father is this gruff, rule-abiding teacher cliché, but I’m hoping there’s much more than meets the eye. I also liked seeing Se-hee’s more rebellious side with his father today, because I found it to be very humanizing. Se-hee is written with just the right balance of aloofness, quirkiness, and compassion, but we haven’t had a chance to truly connect to him yet, so I’m waiting for that to happen.

On a technical note, I’m relieved to hear that they aren’t registering their marriage and that it has an expiration date, because I honestly wasn’t sure what exactly they had in mind legally for this very sensible madness—turns out that this is my favorite kind of madness!

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Love how the shot of them sitting in the back of the bus called back to the poster and final scene of "The Graduate."

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This! It was my understanding too. I wonder if the translation was wrong. If his father pays off the mortgage, SH won't need a tenant.

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I guess that SH is in that position that he has to 'maintain' a marriage, whether or not his father pays off the mortgage. It's possible that with the antagonism between them, that he might not accept his father's help.

The contract states that they have to live together for 2 years, so she has to be a tenant for at least that long, after which I'm not sure if much of the mortgage is paid up yet or not.

So I believe we're just hoping that after 2 years, that he'll do away with the contract and just keep the wife. 😆

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This drama makes me look forward to Mondays! I wasn't expecting much but was pleasantly surprised with it. I'm glad I gave it a shot.

Thanks for the recap - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

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@murasakimi thank you for the wonderful recap and comments. I teared up again just reading them. I came into this episode ready to laugh at awkwardness of the wedding, but the show decided to punch me in the gut with Ji Ho's mom moments:
- a mom who quietly fought for her daughter's education.
- a mom who wants her daughter to continue her career.
- a mom who wants her daughter to have her husband's respect.
- a mom who doesn't like empty words.

'Something that's not simple just started'. You said it show, like @murasakimii I was lulled into thinking a loveless marriage seemed like a perfect decision for these two. I am going to grab my tissue and sit tight. Crack drama found.

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This episode broke my heart honestly. On one hand, I think a major strength of this show is the realistic way it portrays the realities of economic success, and how background/gender heavily influences life opportunities. And while Ji-hos pessimism is warranted, it honestly breaks my heart, and I want for her to snap out of it and try again :(

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I won't lie I cried quite a bit when Mom and Ji-Ho were having their fight, but then alot near the end when Mom's intentions were revealed. The parental struggle on so many levels in this episode where the expectations of the parents diverge from their child. The child's struggle to meet the expectations of their parents.

This reminds me strongly of what one older colleague told me in my first full time job. She said even though she's in her 60s, in her parents eyes she will always be a child. It's the same as with my Dad as well. Even though Ji-Ho is in her 30s, her mum will never stop worrying or caring about her.

I love love love the ending where See Hee decided to stay and go together with her. Baby steps!!! Also when his eyes lit up as he saw Ji-Ho in her wedding dress. I love Lee Min Ki's subtle eye expressions, just so much details in them.

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I liked the tie-in with Ji-ho's "The Graduate" poster with them sitting at the back of the bus and her in her wedding dress. Where that was the ending of that movie, for Ji-ho and Se-hee, it is their beginning.

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It's interesting to be reminded that even if we've known our parents for our whole life, that doesn't mean we know them as well as we think. I like the fact that both Se-hee and Ji-ho can see the other side of each other's parents quite clearly.

Living with her patriarchal family, Ji-ho always thinks that her mother didn't have much opinion herself. She forgot that maybe her mom just trying to save her opinion on really important matter, like things regarding her daughter. The fact that didn't escape Se-hee's observation.

On the other hand, Se-hee only saw his father as someone demanding and pushy, who used his wife as a leverage to get what he wanted from his son. But he also forgot that even if his father's way was wrong, he did care about his son and wanted to make sure that his soon-to-be wife loves and understands him the way he is.

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I love this drama so freaking much. I will unabashedly yell it from the roof tops. Especially after the most recent episode. All of the characters feel full and wonderful. Thank you for recaping!

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I hear your frustration about the two-steps-back.

Now that you mention it, I've seen three versions of this story and they all have an element of female sexual frustration and male sexual jealousy.

Without Love (1944): Katherine Hepburn flirts with her European man friend to her husband Spencer Tracy's chagrin.
The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996): After being sexually rejected by her sexy contract-husband Jeff Bridges, Barbara Streisand's Rose considers a relationship with her sexy ex brother-in-law, Pierce Brosnan.
Nigeru wa haji daga, yaku ni tatsu (2016): Yui Aragaki's Mikuri considers dating her contract-husband's sexy, charming, tall colleague Ryota.

None of the flirtations actually lead a consummated relationship in any of these dramas. I see these flirtations as demonstrations of (chaste) self actualization. All three women fooled themselves into thinking they could live without love and sex. And when they ask for more from the men they love, they're crushed.

Sure, it's cliché but I bet this show we love so much will put their own twist on this old trope.

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I can live without sex! But not without love!!! 😂😂😂
Don't know if that is understandable. But I am not a normal human being. Now Jiho will definitively want to have both...

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I agree, and i think most of my frustration with it is that we have to wait another week to see what the drama is trying do or say with it.

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I'm going to stick with the belief that the ending of episode 6 and the preview for episode 7 is trolling us... after such a cliche-free run I'd hate to have the 'let's make each other miserable and jealous' game

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I love this show and I'm not afraid to admit it! It's characters are full and developed people that all have their quirks, flaws, and admirable traits. I like the pacing and how you can tell that the writer has a full view of where the story is going has it will be getting there.

What I'm looking forward to most is Se-hee's development and finding out more about him! I like how we are doing this along with Ji-ho. He is so sweet that it hurts me to see him close himself off to others because he thinks AND is repetitively told he isn't normal. He gets so prickly when others tell him this or points out his odd behaviour. That when he met Ji-ho and she just accepted him and his ways you can't blame the guy for proposing! Though he still has his walls up it'll be fun to see how she makes them fall!

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This show is like tumbling head long into Ji-Ho’s heart. Each successive episode has been a gradual re-focus from her external world into her personal. This episode ratchets it up and reveals her fragile reality that even she was not aware of…or, too scared to look at.

Like Alice falling into Wonderland the trigger is unexpected and it was fascinating to see the show use the couple’s unwanted wedding “task” as the mechanism to scratch back the layers of both our leads.

DB mentioned in her “What we’re watching” Post that “…right now I don’t feel romance between the leads…”. Whereas, to me this shows romance has been heady from the beginning. Ji-Ho is a woman who describes herself as “never being a striker” and her drama writing (refer those Ep01 scenes) demonstrates a romantic naivety and yet within moments of actually meeting Min-Ki, she been moved to take her first kiss - from a stranger no less. (We have to remember in Ji-Ho’s timeline she has only just met him watching soccer outside the restaurant)

Min-Ki’s neocortex story spoke to her in a way that she relates to most (and probably the way she sees the world)…in story. He intrigued her and connected with her in a way that she was compelled to kiss him.

Granted, this show is not the passionate romance of Queen In-Hyun’s man—where they literally cannot breathe without each other. BTIOFL is the opposite, it’s a romance where these people can actually breathe for the first time.

This romance makes Ji-Ho want to be strong, and Min-Ki want to open up his quest for independence to include someone else. He is choosing to be with someone because of who they are. More than that, Min-Ki cares about someone, in how they are, and what they need (that simple act of offering his hand and just being there). Our two leads are just so new to these feelings that they didn’t realise they had been struck by lightning. It’s enough to make you go week at the knees.

Even though the show’s setup subverts the traditional marriage romance. Ironically, Ji-Ho and Min-Ki have some of the best fundamentals for a relationship. Not only do they communicate, they are considerate of the other’s feelings, and actions reflect a joint decision. This is in stark contrast to Ho-Rang and Won-Seok whose “normal” relationship struggles with miscommunication / cross purposes, and both parents whose patriarchal relationships is the stifling (and traumatic) life I remember my parents enduring.

I love that this show is able to take what are traditionally supporting cast and give them depth and humanity. Not through quantity but the human quality of their action. Whether it be Ji-Ho’s mother who seeks to live with honour while living a life of quiet desperation, Ji-Ho’s group of friends that are comfortable and pulling like a favourite old sweater, or even Bo-Mi.

I don’t know how long this show will keep pulling me in, but I will take what I can get and be so happy with the treat.

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This drama is sure a breath of fresh air. Every moment counts. No drama in a drama. Its just real life in a drama. Surprisingly, every talk Ji Ho and Se Hee had with their logic and straight face bring so many emotions and swoonworthiness and squeal...dunno why. And parents. So true to life. Without makjang. Cool.

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Been waiting for this recap, thank you murasakimi I agree with Murasakami's point on this. Watching Sae Hee and his dad eats silently while his mom does all talking, is a bit sad, even though I do laugh at that too. But, as introverted person as I am, I still talk to my parents. Even though I'm not the chatty one. Ok, man and woman are different, I know. But it's really clear that, Sae Hee doesnt really want to 'connect' to him. I don't really like when Sae Hee's dad comes back home then throws all his belongings to mom. Maybe that's one of the point. But analyzing Sae Hee's personality, I wonder is his reluctance to be more open and let anyone enter his life have connection with this. Pyuhh, I'm just really into Sae Hee XD
2) Ji Ho's fight with mom. I'm a bit shock that Ji Ho cant read between the line, what actually lies behind her mom's words. It's really clear, from passing eps, that her mom cares about her a lot, in her own way of course. Like how mom called her suddenly at night, not to busily 'check' her life, for me it's more like mom having a hunch that her daughter was not in a good condition. But sometimes, we get overwhelmed by our feeling at the moment that we forget what's more important.
On the contrary, Ji Ho can understand Sae Hee's dad intention. I love it, that Ji Ho can make Sae Hee understand his dad more. And remember, Sae Hee is the first one who asks Ji Ho about her mom's thought. Isn't this what a couple need? But oh, when will they seriously realize this XD
Ah, I've been writing too much XD
Last note, I love watching how Sae Hee forgets to breathe when Ji Ho walks out of her room with her dress. Oh boy, brace your heart. That beautiful lady will live with you, and I promise that wont be the last time she looks beautiful =p And ah, you've said that she's really beautiful right? Wonder how sincere it is, since it's coming out from you, Sae Hee ^^ Monday please comes~~

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I understood why mum got mad at the parents dinner meeting but nothing prepared me for that the letter. The words of a mum not willing to give up on her daughter's dream even when the daughter has given up on it. So touching, I just wanted to hug mum and Ji Ho. Reminds me of my Dad. Parents who understand you and see your potential long before others recognize it are truly a blessing.

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The mom is such a good actor. Like her performance in the 5 min she was in was amazing

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*nods vigorously in agreement* I always like her wherever she shows up (Reply 1988 my favourite still).

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What’s the level above “obsession?” Because I think that’s where I am right now. - @murasakimi

EXACTLY!
How eloquently put!
You just nailed it, mirroring my thoughts exactly.
Even though I'm not sure how the jealousy card will play out,
I still found this episode extremely insightful, profound, reflective, believable, human … ❤❤❤

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This drama is simultaneously the most subtle, yet most gorgeous and addictive one out there right now.

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forgive me drama god, I definitely gonna download this drama before I got a hand on the DVD,

I need a rewatch.

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This drama and what it does to me. T.T #myhearteu

I take back what I said about WYWS. THIS is my drama crack of the year. Before this aired, it was painful to wait for another WYWS episode, but now, I don't hurry to get home from work on Wednesdays anymore. And yes, like what the other beanie said, this makes other dramas look mediocre to me. It's THAT good!

Sehee and Suji are definitely my male and female spirit animals. I aspire to be as cool and strong and #dgaf kind of person like Suji and I just resonate with Sehee's reasons for not getting married. Actually, I resonate with Sehee's attitude and outlook toward everything! I also (mostly) form decisions with logic than heart. He doesn't want to get married because he's satisfied with his cat and kids cost so much. I also don't want to marry because I don't think I need a man to be "fulfilled" (like most people try to shove down my throat. If I'm going to marry someone, that's because I genuinely love him, not because my ovaries are aging or because my peers have already married) and I am also very satisfied with my animals. I must have been a guy in my past life. Lol.

"You unintentionally satisfied my family's hypocritical needs."

I laughed so hard at this. The way he casually said it like it's the most natural thing in the world. HAHAHAHA!

Also, can he stop being unintentionally swoony? He makes me mad because I definitely wouldn't meet a person like him in real life. T.T

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I like Se Hee, the truth, he’s the only character of the show with which I feel connected. I agree with his way of thinking in many ways. I sincerely don’t feel that the fact that he has conflicts with his father makes him more human, just because someone behaves excessively formal and is not spontaneous, like him, due to that rational way of thinking and his personality, doesn't make him any less human. Yes, his way of being is unconventional, doesn’t fit with many people, but he has shown very human characteristics, for example, you just have to see how he behaves with his cat, it only takes a scene of him caressing the cat to show his humanity. I don't think he’s emotionless, on the contrary, his thinking, his mood, his temperament and his feelings have made him express many emotions, I've seen him angry, annoyed, confused, worried, embarrassed, proud, indifferent, peaceful, disillusioned, anxious, etc. Sometimes he seems hypersensitive, and that's why he’s very critical, aloof and moody. So, I think this character shows a lot of humanity and emotions, even if it doesn't look like it. And I really like the way Lee Min Ki is portraying this character, he can do comedy and drama very well. Note aside: yes, his eyes are really beautiful.

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Totally agree. He may appear to be a robot, but I think that's just his demeaner and the type of hobbies he prefers (basically just sitting at home with his cat sipping americanos). His emotions aren't loud, but they're there.

I think he is also successful and talented enough that he is able to get though in life without changing his habits to fit in, so he's just who he is. His cat doesn't mind and his friend Sang-gu sticks to him like glue despite his quirks.

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Yes, I don’t know why people think that when someone is serious or introverted, that means that person has no emotions or is not human, that person simply expresses himself in his own way, and the point is that, for me, he’s quite expressive, I don’t need to see scenes of him with deep inner monologues, or crying, or shown that he has conflicts with someone, to connect with him or say, oh look how emotional or human he is, the truth is that only a look or a gesture of him, or if he doesn’t make any gesture, is enough to have an idea of what his emotions are, of course this is also thanks to Lee Min Ki, who with his face alone can express so much, not all actors can do this.

And as you say he’s intelligent, talented and successful, so he can be what he is without having to explain to anyone, living with his cat and enjoying his moments of solitude. And something I really like about him is that he really is very reflective about the world, and how he is affected by it. He simply knows the world and knows himself, and tries to live his life as best he can in terms of this. Trying to avoid, while he can, everything that bothers him, and doing what pleases him, there is nothing wrong or not human about this.

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this drama is a punch on the gut for woman nearing 30s. social pressure to be married, insecurity in career while trying to make the ends meet. the side character is well-developed too. i used to think that jdrama offers more "realness" but now kdrama (excluding 1001 episode of makjjangs) is catching up fast

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I love those moments when Sehee and Jiho look at each other and you can tell they are of the same mind - and when Jiho verbalizes it, Sehee is not only game (running for the bus to the wedding hall, deciding to have the ceremony, etc), but you can almost visibly see and audibly hear that click in connection. These little moments, expressed and executed so well, have made me watch all the episodes at least twice. I completely savor all the well-chosen words in each and every dialogue between characters and all the nuanced emotions, expressions and movements by the actors/actresses. The close-ups, the angles, the music...it’s all been said, but ugh, the thoughtfulness and intelligence in every detail is wonderful. Love this show so much!

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I have so much to say, but i'll say it for tomorrow's recap since my comments will be commenting on both episodes.

It's so weird, I was pretty thrown off by how much more serious this episode was but by the end of ep 6, I really really liked it because it felt like yes, there's times for fun and games, but marriage is serious business and I felt like they really showed that with the sudden change in aura.

I too, am in love with this drama already. I know exactly what time the subs are uploaded, so i'm always waiting for it front and center:)

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Also, not sure if it should matter, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Jiho knew Sehee had just read her Mom’s letter to him. Would his gestures and words feel or lean differently if she did know? Or was she completely unaware of his reading it while she was crying?

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*mean not lean

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I guessed she did? She would have heard him come in with Bo Mi and stay for a bit. The letter was for him after all.

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It's funny to find the 'BFF's' last-first name relation.
Soo-Ji-Ho-Rang...
Its... Continued 😊😊

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All the good comments means I really have to watch this!

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Do it!!!!! It's really very good. I've been trying to get everyone around me to watch this. Let us know what you think afterwards :)

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I live independently from my parents and get so caught up in the demands of adult life that I sometimes brush off my Mom when she gets affectionate because she misses me but I'm busy. I always say I don't have time to reply to her messages right away because I got stuff to do and she should stop nagging me. I immediately felt guilty after this episode as I realized my Mom never called me out for all my bratty and callous responses to her. I messaged her to say how much I appreciate her and love her. She replied with a Goodnight and a gif of a twerking cat T.T

Moms are the best! Lol

Love this episode!

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Awww that sounds exactly like my mom <3

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No words, I just love this show so much and can't wait for monday to come sooner. ❤

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Me too!!!! The wait is agonizing. i keep refreshing to read any new comments or insights on here and soompi to help tide me over. I haven't done that in ages!!!!

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Same, I've been lurking everywhere. Lol

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I reaaaaaaaaally like this drama💕

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This show literally shooked my heart and soul.seems like every scenes and characters give you pangs of the moment and made you think of your own life too.we laughed and cried with them like watching your own story..my gosh! Only 6 episodes but this really hit me hard.i dont know what to do now hahaha..obsession is real! ❤❤❤ whatever may be the outcome of their love stories im gonna give my all support because they really stole my heart😙😙😙 Swoon!

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Thank you btw for a very nice review..been lurking for days while waiting for the latest one and now i cant help but to comment as well!!!

Im very glad that i never saw any negative review for BTIOFL..always pleasing to read and the ratings keep on increasing too!!! Good job 💐

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Mom's letter had me bawling at 1 am. ;___; This darling drama is such a pleasant surprise. I'm still never prepared for the emotional punches.

The chemistry between Ji Ho and Se Hee feels so organic! I like that their romance is gradually blooming little by little.

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I convinced my sister to watch it -ep 5 so she could understand where I'm coming from when I want to b talk to her about shows like this I figured she'd cry, how can you not, but I told her I was glad that she watched with me since I'm the only one I know who watches dramas and I feel like I must seem like a crazy person cackling and then crying in the space of minutes all by myself.

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I'm a wreck. This show has my heart. It's the small details that really get me, the soft gentle way they held hands at the end. They care about each other and believe in each other's potential. Can't wait to see this blossom.

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Hi! I have been a silent reader since Faith (The Great Doctor). But I will silent no more!!

I am a newbie in making comment but this drama takes my breath away and I need to say it out loud or I will be suffocated (in a good but excruciating way). I can't help but watch it over and over again, digging every minute and tiny detail, trying to figure out our leads' way of thought.

Se-Hee and Ji-Ho are amazing, and so far the writing still true to character despite every change in their decisions. Like most of you, I love their polite but comfortable interactions. I hope when the affections and emotions come in to their relationship, theirs still unique and calm. Just like what happen in the end of episode 6. With its few but deep lines and silent but intense gazes this drama stole my heart and plays it as it pleased.

Btw, I am not familiar with the new guy at episode 6 but one of passenger at the end of episode 4 at 00:59:14 look a lot like him. He sat in front of Se-Hee and wearing a denim jacket. Is that the same guy?

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so after read your comment, i immediately checked and holy you were right! i wonder if we can find out about this connection in next episodes. i'm dying thinking there is still days away until Monday come.

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Thank you for the confirmation. There is no chance that they just short on supporting cast, right?

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You are absolutely right, the new guy really sits in front of our leads on their bus trip to the wedding. You are really good to catch that!

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Thank you. Perhaps they want to make a smooth connection to the preview. The new guy will drive Ji-Ho to their part time job because they live in the same neighborhood?

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Omo ... this writer! What does she have in mind? And thanks for pointing it out, @tikasitompul! Surely it's no coincidence how he was included just enough in the frame and not even blurred. In ep 5, only his shoulder and bag are shown in the same bus ride scene. Now I wonder how much he heard, and whether he saw them get in, with their obviously formal getup and all. Omo! Haha

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Wow, what a good catch! Now I'm really curious to see what this writer has in store for next week.

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I also hope no one finds out that it's fake. I would rather that they just naturally transition from a loveless to a loving relationship and then register their marriage and renew their vows. I don't want the whole drama of it was a fake marriage... it doesn't suit the down-to-earth vibe of this show

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True! Because if that happens, I can't bear to watch how crushed and betrayed the people who rallied behind them will be.

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Thanks for the recap! I am loving this drama so much right now and can't wait for each episode to air.

Jiho and her mother's scenes had me in tears. Very realistic and relatable.

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I'm late to the partyyy!

Y'all wonderful beanies have already said much of what was on my mind, so I'm just gonna write this:

I am super glad that Ra Eun-ho made a proper principal out of Se-hee's father. 😅😅😅 Now if only we could have enough time to create a list on how the drama worlds are linked together ... Lol.

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LOL, he even retired from School as a Civics teacher. 😂😂
And in his past life he embraced the thug life in Chief Kim... and loved white fluffy cats. I guess that's where Se Hee gets it from. http://www.dramabeans.com/2017/01/chief-kim-episode-1/

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Haha! Really? Now that is just brilliant.

And Ji-ho (from Father is Strange) was employed at an entertainment company, which could then explain her interest in writing (even her personality in FIS was just as timid). LMAO, I guess I just love this show so much I keep stalking these actors on YouTube to watch their previous works. 😂😂😂

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And episode 6 just broke my tiny little heart... T^T

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It's been years since I felt so attached to a drama. It's funny, heartfelt, well-acted...

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Busy busy week at work, so I thought I might as well wait until both episodes were subbed, to give myself a treat. Well, episode 5 was great. I liked how Ji-ho’s mother was shown to be acting in a mystifying way, but with just enough hints that there was something serious (and valid, and, ultimately, loving) behind it. I fell in love in the scene where Ji-ho emerged from her room in her wedding dress, and Se-hee was clearly stunned, and his voice went soft. Lee Min-ki is an amazing actor. I felt his response to Ji-ho IN MY GUT.

Episode 6, however...sigh. So much for the gentle and positive energy between the two leads. I feel like the magic is gone now. Oh well. Will wait for the recap to post my thoughts about that. And maybe the writers will surprise me and bring back the magic next week.

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This was such a strong episode. When you think of this drama it's a simple drama that tells a story we knows but the commincation and emotion between the characters is what really stands out for me.

Ji Ho's mom's reaction to her daughter not wanting a wedding but also in the previous episode when she met Se Hee i was like why did Ji Ho not think to consult her. Her mom values her so much, even when she doesn't understand the weight for things (like when she gave her money) it was so sincere and pure. I felt her anger and dissapointment and also a bit of fear that Ji Ho would get into a marriage like hers. I know that she has never said anything about it but i feel like every parent wants their child to do better than they did.

When Ji Ho talked about her background and how she wasn't allowed to have dreams and ambitions because of it, i knew she was talking to herself and it had nothing to do with her mom and still i literally want to scream TAKE THAT BACK.
I cried so much.

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Many thanks for your recap and commentary, murasakimi. Too late to the party to comment much on this episode, other than to agree that Mom's letter to her son-in-law hit me right between the eyes. There are many more factors at play than Se-hee accounted for in his flow diagram, that's for sure.

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can someone tell where and what is the name of the apartment were ji ho and se hee living?? jebaaaal

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This drama does a great job with personalities. Until this episode, I was convinced that the main couple's plan could work. I didn't fully grasp the consequences of it.

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There's that scene, often in K-dramas, where the woman places her hand in the man's hand and her hand seems so fragile and delicate in comparison. That always gets me.

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