I don't really appreciate your criticism of Bo-young. Pregnant single mothers get enough criticism as is and expecting her to act a certain way or another towards the men who got her pregnant is unnecessary. While it's understandable that he would be interested in his child, he actually said he did not care about the baby in as much as it affected her. There's no need to critique her actions when he's fine with her behavior and when single pregnant women already face so many other hardships.

This has been one of the more difficult dramas to watch because there's just so much reality to empathize with. Having seen the Japanese version, I know how it ends, but I gotta say, they hit all of the emotional beats here more realistically.

I love how this show has demonstrated the stages of grief that a couple go through in a loss or death of a relationship...we have seen his confusion/denial, been with him through the anger/revenge, the bargaining when he tried to "forget" and now the despair is settling in. It's really an emotional rollercoaster for the viewer as well as the characters in the drama!

When HY was crying a river during the last scene, I was like, "Give LSK an acting award now! As in, NOWWWWW!" :D

I cried watching Sooyeon and Hyunwoo crying realizing the happiness they have lost. This is reality.

I find it very interesting that people are dissatisfied with Soo Yeon. I think part of the reason is that we are spoilt in dramaland. We are given clear villains and clear victims. Even in dramas where the main leads cheat, their spouses are clearly inattentive, clearly villainous, clearly mean. But in this case, Hyun Woo and Soo yeon are essentially good people.

I don't think Soo-Yeon didn't atone, and frankly I don't think she could have done anything to appease anybody in the forum who wanted her to grow. She made a mistake, she realized it and she was regretful for it. Her character was not a growth character. Her actions allow other people to grow and that's ok. That's how people are in real life.

This show was never about Soo Yeon. This show was for all the Hyun Woo's out there who think their life is dandy. This show is for everyone to look at their life and examine how they are treating other people in their life. And perhaps, that empathy is what we need to take away from this show.

I want to add my last words about Soo-yeon and what bothered me about her character. Now, I do think she could have done a lot of things differently to amend for her affair, but that is not what really bothered me. What she did and how she reacted is in the line with her personality and people rarely do all the right things anyway. She was realistic in this sense and I am fine with that.

However, I personally did not really see her change in the course of events, unlike Hyun-woo. Yes, this was about Hyun-woo this show and not about Soo-yeon, but we DID have her point of view, eventually, too and show could have showed us her changing a bit, too. Problem to me is that while Hyun-woo realised his mistakes and learned to listen to Soo-yeon and appreciate what she had done throughout the years, I cannot really say the same about Soo-yeon. She has an ability to self-reflect and seemed to understand why she ended up having an affair but I didn’t feel like any of those reasons really went away. She still spreads herself thin, she still does not really talk about her problems or ask for help. Again, this is perfectly realistic and fine in that sense, but if she and Hyun-woo would attempt to try again at some point, it does leave the impression things might end up the same because Soo-yeon is still, essentially, the same.

So I am not unhappy with Soo-yeon per se but how the show developed her. I do have great sympathy towards Soo-yeon and in my opinion show did allow us to understand her, but as said, for me it felt like… at the end something was missing. The final touch. She does feel real and while I sympathise with her and I respect her, I would personally not attempt another go with her based on this information we are given. I would rather stay exes and try to develop a mutually respectful and affectionate relationship between ex-spouses.

But this is only my impression, of course. If you’re happy with Soo-yeon, all is good for you. ?

To those who were unsatisfied with Soo Yeon's "character growth".

There's this point to think about.

Wife did everything, achieved everything she wanted, she realized she was missing something (emotional support), made a bad judgment call and was apologetic. How else would she 'grow'? Give up her career? Be a stay at home mom? That's regressing. She was just being supportive and considerate to the husband (and his decisions) whom she wronged. I actually like her character.

And Husband didn't even notice, had to be told by an ex girlfriend he was kinda useless, so obviously, he had to do most of the growing. She was his plot catalyst.

Anyway, Writer Kwon had a good analogy a few episodes back I think, something about the full beer, another drop and it spills over.

And that sweet sweet boy crying, I just want to hug him. Little guy can sure tug the heart strings. This episode was just tears on tears action.

beta is the new alpha rofls

I was, like many of you, hoping HW and SY would decide to work out their marriage as a couple rather than to divorce. At this point, it would seem that HW has grown more than SY. But it is unfair to say that she has not developed and grown. She may just need more time to develop. It is unreasonable to expect her to develop at the sam rate as HW. So, let's be patient and hopeful.
Most significantly, she has recognised that she did wrong; did not blame HW or her circumstances; accepted that she had no excuse for her affair - claimed responsibility for the affair. She felt guilt, regret and remorse for her actions. To that end she apologised no end accepting all the abuses, ridicule, and humiliation for it. She was repentant - ceased contact with SW; understood HW's hurt better; valued and expressed her appreciation for HW; She didn't express regret marrying HW; continued to be a good mother to JS; and even responded to HW's attempts to reconciliation (like sneaking out for a late night drink with him).
I guess, many think that she could have done better or more. But SY needs time to learn these. In fact, she divorced because she did not want to make HW suffer anymore. Her divorce puts her at a greater disadvantage and requires more courage. She could have done what SW's wife did to hang in there. But realised that might hurt HW more and turn him into a monster.
Their divorce makes me sad because I know still love each other but cannot forget the past affair.

Just a few more comments to add.
SY so readily and adamantly admitted her affair to HW's mum but we did not witness the same with her own dad. In fact, she left HW to shoulder the blame for failing to make her happy.
I do not recall a scene when SY expressed her love for HW even after they were making up. The closest to it was her disclosure to their college mate that she liked him first. But seemed like in the past.
She missed SW all the time, but not HW. If I recall the narrative, it was SW who initiated the end of their future contacts and their affair. SY only offered to stop meeting with SW for now, which sounds temporary.
We duly credit SY for understanding and appreciating HW's pov and love for her, but he was just a reliable, trusted, available "weekend husband" for her.
I don't think the writers have credible reasons to bring them back together. It's impossible too repair the broken relationship without the superglue called "love"!!

I find the reaction of his mum incredible. I don't understand in what universe this could be considered realistic. Then again, considering the demented reaction of her son... The time frame is what makes it more difficult to keep suspension of disbelief. Well, that and the fact that he actually apologizes to her for remembering that she cheated on him. There is an inversion of roles where her perspective is now the sane one, while he apologizes that he can't simply roll over and forget that he has been cuckholded. How much time has it been? They lied and deceived him for half a year.

"In the end, Hyun-woo gives sole parental rights to Soo-yeon, and agrees to pay a large sum in child support. The pair looks so sad, and Hyun-woo agrees to everything so easily that the divorce planner is unnerved as she asks if they’re really going to go through with this."

Even considering what she did to him, and that incredibly *she* is the one asking for divorce, it's quite incredible that he agrees to these terms.

This is Stockhold Syndrome. Gaslighting and victim blaming run amuck. He was not a perfect husband. He was unselfaware. These are not crimes worthy of being deceived for months on end. A little perspective. He was not physically abusive or in any way particularly horrible. He was just unaware of how much pressure his wife was under, partly because he is not a mind reader and they lacked communication. But they also had a kid together, and promised to not betray each others' trust, and it's a reasonable expectation to have a basic standard that this line shouldn't be crossed.

"Hyun-woo insists that it’s all his own fault for not making Soo-yeon happy after he promised to take care of her"

Let's point out that his great sin was being a kind husband that was a bit inattentive and, not being a mind reader, missed some sign of stress from a wife that did not communicate with his and betrayed him. Not sure this makes him the horrible husband and human being he believes himself to be. That "make her happy" should really be reciprocal, and if we tally who let down who...

Let's compare him to her lover, who was a man who had a wife and small child that betrayed them an deceived them for months, to sleep with a woman that also had a family. And his wife did not leave him nor cheat on him. Was he the better man and husband? I would say that she would have deserved him, or better they would have deserved each other -him cheating on her when she just had their babies, her cheating on him when she was stresse-. The protagonist would have never cheated on his wife. His wife did. His wife's lover never would have. That's the whole difference in a nutshell.

Crazy that he thinks of himself as this horrible husband, when the man his wife betrayed him with was a husband that betrayed his wife and the mother of his small children. And if the expectation is that a bit of cluelessness deserves betrayal as punishment, note that her wife's lover's wife does not betray (or leave) him even after what he does to her (not saying that she shouldn't, on the contrary she should). Would she have preferred that as a husband? They have this example before them and they both think that the protagonist not being a mind reader is essentially deserving of half a year long deception.

I think the director thinks that housework is rocket science, makes me wonder if the culture couldn't benefit from a more US centric approach (living alone from a younger age, well before cohabitation and marriage), because this is getting ridiculous. Again, we are talking about a family of one, where the fact that she cooks or irons the shirts is made out to be about as difficult as the battle of Normandy. Okay, he could have been more collaborative in housework (he did collaborate some, and asked whether she needed anything before returning home, not to mention now he has started to do more work himself, so he should not be so hapless anymore). A problem easily solved by saying "look, I cook and you do the dishes", certainly nothing that warrants a half a year long deception. Again, the usual reminder that the lover that betrayed his wife and children with a married woman who had her own kids is still happily married to a woman that never betrayed him even after knowing the filthy, deceitful scum he was -not that it is a good thing, revenge sex would have been more than appropriate-.

With all due respect, I think that they both make enough to hire someone to take care of things around the house, if they really find the rather trivial task of taking care of *one*, I underscore *one* kid too hard. Alternatively, if you really want to pursue a career that leaves space for nothing else, postponing having children to a later date (frozen eggs? adoption?) or choosing not to have any would have been an option. Again, I personally know families with *four* children where both parents work. This is not planning the allied counterattack in WWII. The presence of works like "Once Again" seems to indicate that in Korea, too, this is not the stuff of legends. The fact that *him personally* might not work more than her (again, she made choices with regards to family and career -they could have put the kid in a dormitory or sent him abroad as in My Mister, if they couldn't take care of him personally, they had the money-, and one simple decision here would be "I cook and you do the dishes") means nothing. Plenty of people with stressful career and families. I doubt she works more than a Melissa Meyer or Carol Reiley, and I don't see them wrecking their families, at least certainly not for work/stress. I found the message "If you pursue a career you are bound to be miserable and stressed out" unhelpful. In general, her life sucked for multiple reasons including her career that didn't go as planned and her lack of friends/hobbies, and it was not her husband's fault. Not that being stressed out or unsatisfied entitles you to deceiving those around you.

The little boy did nothing wrong, like the two cheated partners and her lover's children. This is something that the wife should have thought about before her betrayal. That broke them. Asking him to live a lie and sacrifice, when he would never want his son to live that way, is sadistic.

I find his mother utterly repulsive. Whether she knows or not about her son's utter humiliation, it's clear he finds the situation intolerable, but she would prefer he lives a lie and suffers rather than... what? What is the upside of having a father that is hurt/humiliated/destroyed around? To send the son the message that he should let other people use and abuse him without retaliation? That he should sacrifice and suffer, instead of being happy?

On the contrary, if the wife was unhappy she should have divorced him in the first place. A la "Once Again". That would have at least sent the message that he respected him as a person. And to their son that he deserves happyness, not to sacrifice himself in the name of convention.

I actually *did not* like his father blaming himself either (even less so the protagonist... let's remember that the lover that betrayed his wife and children for a married woman with her own children is still married to someone that did not even betray him, how is that for "just desert"). She is her own person, with all the excuses piled upon her to justify/excuse/minimize her behavior the last thing we need is another sob story. She is an adult woman that made her own decisions, namely to spurn her husband when he wanted to reconnect, after their anniversary (which they both forgot about, despite only him being made to be the "heel"), to sleep with the philandering scum described above). Oh, also to lie and smile when he asked her whether she had a problem, as well as about her meetings, leaving him with the impression that she was happy and trustworthy, when she was neither of those things. In other words, it's not her father's fault and she made her bed she now has to sleep in (not that she didn't try mightily to escape the consequences of her own actions).

This is a key point: I don't think it's reasonable at all for him to expect to be able to *make* her happy if she is otherwise unsatisfied with her life. He cannot make her career take off. He cannot be a surrogate for a friend group. He cannot force her to trim down her commitments and, say, take up a hobby, or to hire someone to watch over her kid (maybe their parents, if they don't want to pay), or to put him in a boarding school. She made choices about the commitments she took on, and she is the one that ultimately has to decides what her priorities are. If she chooses to do everything, that's fine as well, but then stress is to be expected and managed (think Hermione in the third year). She could and should have asked for help. But, again, on one hand we are talking about *one* kid (not four or six), on the other hand it's not something that is fixed by one partner doing more housework -though he did, even before, buying stuff when coming back home, etc., and fixing appliances in the house, as shown later in a flashback-. It's a deeper problem of trying to balance work, friendships, family life, leisure. If she is in a particularly difficult period at work, it's perfectly fine to tough it out, and she should expect and cope with the stress, trying to not let it affect her family life. If it's a permanent thing and is in a job that stresses her out and she does not enjoy, on top of her career not going the way she wants, then it's maybe time to reevaluate her priorities and options, addressing the problem at the root (might mean looking for a new job, somewhere with better opportunities, or with better work life balance). These are all choices she made and has to make, it's not something her husband can have any input in.

The divorce clip moment was seriously crazy. Like some anti-abortion campaign from the 50's. Not at all sure that's the universally true reaction, know some children of divorced families and they didn't seem particularly different from anyone else. Better this than their parents being unhappy and living together in misery.

I don't think that they have quite resolved the fact that she was ready to carry on the affair and lie to him indefinitely, and I have a hard time how she could have done that if her conscience had tortured her as it is clearly doing now. What changed?

[ep11] Regarding not realizing how she truly felt/not maing her happy, this was discussed in episode 7: neither of them knew that she had a problem, he saw everyone around him handling the same responsibility (and, despite him now being overawed by, frankly, the fact that he is inept at sewing and she is not, and that in general he could have benefited from living alone and learning how to handle himself, which would have made him understand that this is not rocket science), with many more families frankly struggling in much worse conditions (poorer families, maybe with multiple kids, or kids with special needs, single parents with multiple kids working three jobs, families with 2/3/4 kids and both working parents, families of special forces/astronauts/fighter jet pilots/-insert other profession more stressful than graphics designer-).

She clearly stated that she couldn't blame him for not realizing something she didn't realize either, and when she realized the issue she kept it from him by putting up a front and lying to his face (even when he realized she might be cheating on him and, understanding there was a problem, he asked her how she was doing and to take time off to reconnect, she lied that she was fine and that she needed to go to a job meeting, plannig to meet with her lover). She clearly stated that the issue was not that he didn't know, as she understand that she was the one that kept him from him by putting up a mask and not talking to him about her problem, concluding that this does not an excuse or good explanation for her actions. Tldr, as she herself understands he is not a mind reader and cannot be expected to be, her lover caught her in the moment she let down her mask (and maybe certain things are more easily seen from the outside, which is why therapy is valuable), and as soon as he got a hint that there might be a problem, he tried to reach out to her and she lied to him, spurned his offer and choose *not* to course correct (which in itself in unexplainable, given she planned to stay with him and that by asking how she was and offering to spend time to reconnect he was giving exactly what she wanted).

I find it baffling that they would completely change his character (to an extreme and unlikely degree... when you are so broken that you apologize about your inability to heal from your emotional scars to the person that caused them you are *not* in a healthy place) and don't give her any real growth/epiphany/etc. It's not as if before she was convinced she was doing something decent or that her husband was a monster that deserved to be hurt/humiliated/deceived, but that didn't stop her from deceiving him (she didn't care enough not to do it). In other words, if their marriage is a broken car, they are switching the coloring (him) but not fixing the broken wheel (her).

One important part of Eun-Ah's talk with Do Hyunwoo is that she emphasizes how whatever he might have done wrong, it's a separate issue from the cheating, and cannot be used to excuse it. I feel that this is a self evident truth, that nevertheless has been hand-waved away countless times in a frantic attempt at moral inversion, with plenty of sophistry and casuistry to follow, in the course of this series. It's basically the only sane line anyone has uttered in quite a few episodes.

All in all, ML and his friends are completely overawed, when the real issue is that they are incompetent at basic chores. Not a moral failing, but somewhat embarassing (I mean, he should really learn to cook and be self sufficient, I think I like more the US attitude of living alone pretty early in life compared to staying with your family). Logically speaking, the truth is that they are doing something they have no practice with, but his point about cutting out unneeded stuff, like pleasing the other moms, is true, as is the fact that most people are in similar or worse circumstances. I simply refuse to treat this situation as if they were doing two minimum wage jobs while taking care of a family of six. I mean, there are couples where both parents work and they have to take care of older parents or children with disabilities, etc. Much worse circumstances. And none of those in any way are a reason for cheating, nor is it clear how a lover would free up one's schedule -if anything, it would seem like something that would add complications-.

Essentially, the theory he is going with is "I deserve this because I am worse at doing chores, and I am not a mind reader". Had he found the chores easy to handle, there would be no overawe and self flagellation. Not sure he understands that he could hire a cleaning lady, a baby sitter, and eat out: if you are in a relationship, surely basic loyalty and trust are more important -lacking those is a deal breaker, really- than knowing how to do chores.

Anyway, if ML wants to self flagellate, he might want to consider that his wife not only betrayed and deceived him, but also chose a lover with a wife and family of their own, who she wanted to continue to deceive indefinitely (one has to have a pretty huge ego to utter the excuse that this was for their sake without breaking up in laugher -are you telling me that the lying, cheating husband stealing her choice to make an informed decision, and months of her life where she could have found a better man to be with, is someone so outstanding that by deceiving her and letting him get away scott free with his betrayal they are doing her a favor? Wake up: there are tons of people better than him around, in fact the ML is pretty much the best husband you see in the drama, factually speaking: he helps his wife more than the other husbands, and he does not betray her with another married woman with a kid, like her lover did, before throwing her under the bus, firing her without discussing it with her first, and badmouthing her to his wife, might I add-). The other victim, her lover's wife, never did anything to her: she didn't even know her (neither did the children). Not sure how that fits with the ML's sick "I brought this upon myself by not noticing something neither she nor the rest of her family/friends/child noticed, and that she lied about repeatedly when she did".

I must say that I don't really buy the explanation for the single custody. Maybe it's a "thing", but it seems to me that reaching out to someone in case of emergency would be done exactly as it is done now, namely by providing a couple of phone numbers to call, in a specific order. Surely if there are emergencies both people should be contacted eventually (and pretty soon), it's just a matter of who to call first, which should work as it did before. As for non urgent situations that are still important, both parents should obviously have an input. Not sure about the readiness with which he gave up custody, given the fact that she essentially run away from home with the kid, after betraying and deceiving him, when she wanted to divorce (not sure how legal this "kidnapping" would be... for that matter, I read in My Mister blog posts that in case of cheating the divorce would need the go-ahead of the victim, if not his input to initiate the procedure at all... maybe it was hogwash, and I kind of wish it is: frankly, it's a policy I cannot relate with, it's a policy I would be against, as in the case of any state involvement in terms of putting obstacles on the way of two people wanting to divorce, the only role being really to protect the child by making provisions for financial support, etc. -any bureaucratic bs making the process harder is clearly not a good thing-). I would put a fine point on "child support", which there is no reason for him to try to get out of paying, hoping that the money would go to the kid, and not to her.

In a realistic world where his spine had not been surgically removed, he wouldn't be sullen when divorcing someone who he cannot embrace without thiking of her lover (unrealistic peekaboo trauma which is very "vanilla"... the guy found them at the hotel, and in the first episodes saw his wife's new lingerie that she bought for her lover, and remembers her nice dress, the messages... My Mister's flashbacks of him thinking about his wife with her boss were much more realistic and closer to what one would likely think of), in fact, exactly for that reason, in addition to the gaslighting and self entitlement (not letting him process this on his schedule, but rather being impatient and not giving him time and space to heal from the psychological scars she caused, trying to get him to be their accomplice in the deception of her lover's wife, telling him who he should open up with about his experiences, while threatening and then actually revealing the affair to his mother who had been similarly traumatized in the past, generally gallighting him and acting incredibly self entitled), he should be very happy of ridding himself of such a toxic person.

I mean, obviously her work should be appreciated, and she had every right to tell her husband that she was overwhelmed. He could have picked up some slack (he did help, though, which is more than any of the other husbands could say, yet he, not them, was cuckolded), or asked his mother whether she could help with the kid (which she does), or hired a cleaning lady/babysitter/eaten out in restaurants. They had money. The decision to not tell anything to her husband was hers. Her schedule was, again, something she chose, and that was under her control. Many commitments *were* unnecessary, like pleasing the other mums. Again, this is a matter of trade-offs. She is an adult (really, that's not ever necessary, this is basic common sense). If the alternative is having a full blown affair...

As with MM, I don't think that being uncommunicative in and of itself is a deal breaker, though it causes issues and at least in MM it was explained by him not wanting to hurt his wife (i.e. by responding sharply when she did something that hurt him, like in the episode where she missed her niece's wedding and didn't call him all day, and then mentioned that -on one hand, he is embarassed by the theft of the marriage offerings, on the other hand he is hurt by her absence and disregard, but since he does not want to hurt her he simply closes himself off and suffers in silence... plenty of other examples of him doing that).

Not to mention that the guy was suicidally depressed, and explicitly said that he didn't want to have been born in this world. Likewise, I think that doing stuff for one's family is admirable, like MM's ML coming home and doing all the housework to support his wife in her career. But neither of those can become an excuse for what is just sheer disloyalty and abuse/breaking of trust. Also, one cannot simply forget the basic fact that they are rich people with a single kid: I refuse to act as if they have two minimum wage jobs each, and have to take care of kids with special needs, or a family of six. They can hire helpers. Of the two of them, he is the only one that risks losing his job, while her only problem is not getting a promotion. Not that getting laid off or working too much has anything to do with backstabbing and deceiving your partner: as correctly stated in MM, paraphrasing, unhappiness is not a sufficient condition for cheating, but a complete lack of respect for your partner is a necessary one.

If the show wanted to lecture us about societal ills, they should have really not mixed it in an exculpatory fashion with the FL's horrible betrayal: this was a complete non sequitur, these matters are not related (as the parents of those thinking they are might very well be).

Quite frankly, I might agree or disagree with the societal implications of low wage manual laborers with inadequate worker rights, but if you show me a wife beating drunk or a philandering spouse and try to connect that with the stress of being on the verge of losing their only source of income, I as a viewer would have every right to consider myself to have been intellectually insulted. No, there are basic expectations of behavior and you don't get to opt out for some unrelated issue. Your spouse doesn't have anythig to do with these issues (in the FL's case, her schedule is something she chose, many items such as the other mothers could have been removed, and they had the financial means -and living family members- to either hire additional people or ask for favors if they needed to free up their schedules; when it came time to rendervouz with her lover, she was certainly able to secure much more than the few hours needed to read a book).