The Time I’ve Loved You: Episode 13

by HeadsNo2

Only friends can get away with throwing each other belated birthday parties, even if they should’ve been the ones most on top of said friend’s birthday in the first place. Hana and Won come to some sort of agreement about where their friendship stands in relation to the revelations posed by his confession(-ish) this episode, but good luck trying to suss any of that out. To say it’s complicated would be putting it mildly, I don’t know what these two are. But I can definitively say, with some degree of certainty, that they are in fact something. At least there’s that.

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B1A4 – “10년 후 (10 Years Later)” [ Download ]

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EPISODE 13 RECAP

Reading the script for Summer Days sends Hana into flashbacks of her high school days, since the dialogue mirrors what she’d once said to Won about how she’d know who her ideal man was through a kiss—not to mention how the two characters in the script share an accidental kiss much like the one she and Won shared in the library.

She begins to realize the story in the script is their story, and remembers how her heart had beat furiously after the accidental kiss. Won, in his usual way, had acted like nothing happened.

But then she comes across the page where Won’s character attends the funeral of his friend, which happened in real life when Dae-yoon was struck by a car on his way to meet a friend (likely Won). The reason those kids beat him up was because they saw his liking Hana as a betrayal to Dae-yoon’s memory.

And that’s when Won had attacked his attackers to demand to know why he couldn’t love Hana. All this Hana reads now, only realizing through Won’s character that he was beat up because of her but never told her at the time. Handwritten at the end of the script is Won’s infamous high school refrain to Hana: “I will never love you.”

Now we’re back to where we ended the last episode, as Hana asks Won why there’s no ending to the story. He says something came up, to which Hana says she remembered Dae-yoon as someone who studied with her and was close to Won. But why didn’t he ever tell her?

“Back then, you weren’t a friend to me,” Won explains in a vague way—does he mean that he thought of her as more than a friend then? Or that they weren’t as close as they are now? Regardless, he explains that Dae-yoon’s death took a toll on him, which is why he told her he’d never love her.

As if she’s talking about the weather, Hana says she’s relieved to finally hear the reasoning behind those words, even if they scarred her in the past. That’s why she resigned herself to only be his friend, but she resolves to think back on their past more. They part without any more acknowledgement than that.

Unaware that Seo-hoo ditched President Min at the airport at the last minute, Hana commiserates with her girlfriends that she lost that fluttering feeling with him the day before he was supposed to leave, and that his leaving wasn’t what sealed the deal.

Now she wonders if she was really in love with him, or whether she just fooled herself into thinking so because of the memories they shared. Na-young, however, is preoccupied with Won’s script(ed) confession, because all it means is that he took forever and caused a lot of pain in the meantime.

Hana admits she couldn’t say anything to Won after reading the script, and that she feels bad for starting over with Seo-hoo when Won had to muster up so much courage to confess his true feelings for her. Being friends with Won has become like a habit for her, so she thinks staying as friends is best for them.

Until she knows for sure what Seo-hoo means to her, Hana adds, she’ll step lightly when it comes to Won and their longtime friendship. Na-young complains about what a complicated situation this all is, but both friends promise to back Hana no matter what.

When asked how he feels now that he’s shown Hana his all-in-one Confession Script, Won says he does feel some relief, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Really, he just wanted her to know why they couldn’t be more than friends, and more that he couldn’t say.

A little drunk and a little broody, Hana decides to take out her angst at the batting cages. She doesn’t realize Won is also there until he points out her bad form jokingly, before he coaches her in earnest so that she’ll hit a home run.

He’s picked up on her penchant for hitting things when she wants to think, and Hana just says that it’s become a habit. Her saying, “I’m more comfortable with things I’m used to” is probably about more than just the things she hits.

Won doesn’t much like the word “habit,” so Hana proposes a bet: they’ll avoid the places they’re both familiar with for a week to see whether their bumping into each other all the time is a habit or not. He agrees. Is no one going to mention that other bet they made?

While Won’s work colleagues throw him a birthday party, Hana only seems to remember that it’s his birthday when group texts start pouring in about it. Whoops.

Instead of taking a cab like her other colleagues, So-eun asks Won to walk her a ways before she snags one while wearing suit scraps from the nearest fashion school’s garbage bin. She asks him how Hana’s doing and admits she thinks about her often. “Who is Hana Unni to you?”

Before he can even answer, she admits to realizing that since he and Hana have been together so long, it’s likely they’ll be together in the future too. Won is amazed by her honesty as always, but despite being weirdly honest just now, So-eun claims she knows now that her honesty could make others uncomfortable.

In light of that, she wants the two of them to be comfortable around each other. Won readily agrees, and So-eun hands him her gift before she goes. Won looks at his phone dejectedly to see if Hana’s joined in the group text wishing him a happy birthday. She hasn’t.

He doesn’t know she’s busy at work handcrafting him a last-minute present, which he only sees waiting for him the next morning. It’s a passport holder with the word “one” on it (referencing the 1+1 deal with their names). He’s literally giddy over it, which is kind of adorable.

Hana spots Won taking another way home per their bet, and reveals herself only when he has a super, super random run-in with a kid on a bike. But that still means they bumped into each other despite trying to avoid it.

Even though it’s no longer his birthday, Hana celebrates like it is when they finally go to their rooftop hideout. Despite loving the gift, he tells her that the needlework on it was a mess, which brings back memories of other birthdays she messed up by being bad at baking, and especially bad at sewing.

She’d once sewn him a shirt that was supposed to have the name he used when flying abroad, “Loney,” but with the way she misspelled it, the shirt ended up reading: “I’m Lonely.” She’d also hit him in the head with a champagne cork on accident, though none of that mattered. He was too happy then to care.

In the present, he thanks her for the gifts over the years—he remembers all of them fondly. His taking care of her every need causes her to ask if he’s this friendly to everyone, to which he replies that he’s only like this to her.

She’s so surprised she doesn’t know how to react, and for the first time in his life Won actually reiterates what he said to make it clearer: “I’m only like this to you, Oh Hana.” But he’s the one to break the tension like nothing strange was said in the end so that Hana can stop feeling awkward.

Won goes home to all the post-it notes Hana’s ever left him, which he’s arranged in a notebook. He stops at one that simply says “I like you,” which sends him back to when he’d been heartbroken over losing his college girlfriend.

She’d left him that note with a book, and had taken on “Operation: Overcoming Heartbreak” in order to get him feeling better. But when she’d ask if he’d like to try dating her seriously, he’d accused her of joking. “You’ll regret this later, Choi Won!” she’d said then. How right she was.

In the Confession Script, which has transmuted onto his computer, Won deletes the “I will never love you” line and changes it to something we don’t see.

Hana is surprised to see Seo-hoo at work, since she’d assumed he was out of the country. He assures her that there’s nothing going on between him and President Min, but she’s angry that a week has passed without hearing a word from him.

“Let’s get married,” Seo-hoo blurts, like that will solve all their problems. Now that Hana’s randomly decided to use her brain, she asks if he expects her to just wait quietly and greet him happily every time he leaves and comes back.

So Seo-hoo has to downgrade his big plan from “Let’s get married” to “Let’s just prepare for the concert.” Hah.

After Mi-hyang brags to Won that she may not come home tonight (insinuating that she might stay out with Teacher Park), we get a shot of just products being put onto shelves when we cut to our resident sponsored side characters, Assistant Hong and Dae-bok.

She freaks him out a little by saying she wants to get married quickly, but then gives him intel on the benefit concert: since the venue was already canceled, they’ll have to start the planning over from scratch. As for getting married, Dae-bok looks at his meager bank account and sighs.

Seo-hoo takes Hana to a prospective concert venue, but it’s impractical when it only holds fifty people. “It doesn’t matter, the benefit performance is for you,” Seo-hoo claims.

They’ll leave together right after the concert even, prompting Hana—who somehow recovered her long-lost spine somewhere—to ask him if he ever takes anyone but himself into account when making decisions. “I need time to seriously think about us,” she stresses.

Meanwhile, Mi-hyang goes on a tandem bike ride with Teacher Park, eventually culminating in a picnic. She doesn’t like all the healthy decisions he makes and the way he seemingly treats her like a friend, until she finally blows up and asks, “Do you even see me as a woman?”

Won cooks with his buddies and considers stabbing them when they talk badly of Hana’s cooking, while Hana’s parents ask her about her relationship with Seo-hoo—is she really going to marry him?

Hana’s unusually quiet on the topic, causing Mom to note that if she entered this relationship after everyone told her no, there should be some progress by now. Dad’s okay with the idea of his daughter living happily without getting married, but Mom thinks happiness lies in getting married.

Later that night, Hana takes Na-young to the hospital when her friend calls complaining of severe stomach pain. It’s just kidney stones (as opposed to cancer, which Na-young was concerned about), so Hana agrees to stay with her until her surgery in the morning, after which she’ll go to work.

She tells Na-young about Seo-hoo missing his trip and how he asked her to marry him all of the sudden, causing her to sigh that she thought he changed, only to realize he’s the same. I would literally pay money right now to find out what about him she thought had changed in the first place.

Hana’s been thinking about why she started dating Seo-hoo again, and how her heart had nearly beat out of her chest when he reappeared after disappearing for so long. She even admits that she could only remember the good times with him as opposed to the bad, but that the emotional scars he left her are still there.

So despite saying repeatedly that she’s physically and mentally unable to push Seo-hoo away, now Hana says that she can’t help but push him away. Na-young says that’s just her self-defense mechanism kicking in to tell her that she’s more important than love—it’s something that happens after multiple heartbreaks.

Hana forgets that Seo-hoo texted her an updated meeting time to discuss a new concert venue, and misses his calls the next morning while she tends to Na-young post-surgery.

When she finally makes it to the office she finds the meeting has ended, and Seo-hoo really lets her have it about being irresponsible over something so important. Which totally makes sense coming from a dude who was so cavalier about switching venues to a tiny courtyard because he only wanted to play for Hana anyway. These problems matter.

Won calls Hana after her hard day, able to clearly hear the fatigue in her voice. He advises her to just go to bed, but she complains that she can’t without removing her makeup first, but is too tired to get up. Finally, something I can actually identify with.

He innocently asks how she removes her makeup then, and she’s too tired to think much on it as she gives him detailed instructions while half-asleep. Won takes those instructions and sits next to her on the bed to perform the tasks, meticulously going down the list from her eyes, to her lips, and then her whole face.

With loving attention to detail, Won massages her face with sponsored cream, and Hana sighs that it’s so nice having someone else do this for them. But then we see Won back in his room, so was the makeup-cleansing scene just a dream on Hana’s part?

He sits down to rewrite that final line of his Confession Script, which he changes to “The time I’ve loved you.”

After working out a deal for an outdoor concert venue, Hana asks Seo-hoo to meet her in the conveniently empty concert hall where she’d seen his back after he found out the concert was cancelled and realized she never forgot about him, and that she wanted to be with him again.

Seo-hoo thinks this is the prelude to her saying yes to his not-a-marriage-proposal, when in reality she looks at him tearfully and says, “I’m sorry, Seo-hoo. I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Seo-hoo asks uncomprehendingly, “Do what? What can’t you do?”

In a choking voice, Hana tells him that they’d just continue to fight and hate each other before they’d get tired of it all. “That’s why we should end this now,” she adds. They should break up now so they can remember theirs as a love that made their hearts flutter, which, huh?

But Seo-hoo grabs her in an embrace and says that he will not break up with her. She just has to change her mind. “I’m sorry, Seo-hoo,” Hana cries.

While walking home numbly, Hana trips when one of her heels breaks. In voiceover, we hear her say that the passionate fever-like love she experienced with Seo-hoo has come to an end. She trades her broken heels in for some sandals and treks on.

As she readies for the benefit concert, the coordinator tells her that Seo-hoo will be arriving soon as a surprise for her and stealth advertising for the concert.

Hana seems to shrivel up when Seo-hoo’s hands come clapping down on her shoulders all of the sudden, but if he notices he says nothing, instead shooting her a smile before heading up to the stage. He surprises the patrons by playing as if he were at the concert already, but the publicity he garners can only work well for Hana’s company.

That’s when Won sends her a text that he’s begun working on the script that ended-but-didn’t with “I will never love you.” He time skips in the script seventeen years to the present day, and sends the page to her where he describes the times he’s found her crying while flashing back to them simultaneously.

“Wherever you are, if you’re crying, I can find you. I was always by your side even during the moments you can’t remember.” And then, “Aren’t you curious what will happen in the next part of the script I’m writing?”

Her phone rings. It’s Won. “Do you want to go make another bet to see if we meet as a habit or not? Come to me,” he says over the line. Hana looks up to Seo-hoo, who watches her with a concerned expression, then she starts to say Won’s name…

 
COMMENTS

This feeling of confusion is eerily reminiscent of the last episode, when Won made a sudden about-face regarding his feelings toward Hana and got the luxury of just changing his mind after seventeen years spent in a headspace we neither knew or understood until it was given a passing mention. And when you bring up and resolve a problem in the same breath, it’s not even like we’re getting a lack of payoff to all the build—it’s a lack of both, which is what makes the emotional beats feel so unearned.

It’s the same with Hana this episode, because while she speaks sense now sense regarding her dysfunctional relationship with Seo-hoo, I’m left wondering how we got from one end of the crazy spectrum to another in such a short amount of time. It’d be different if Hana’s resentment toward Seo-hoo’s treatment of her was built up and mapped out properly, but instead of being a culmination of all that came before, her outburst over him leaving for his trip felt way more arbitrary than it should have been. Because, by her own admission, Hana was okay with forgetting the past wrongs Seo-hoo committed against her.

Which all led to a breakup conversation that just made no sense for their relationship, since Hana wasn’t using any reasoning that had actual relevance to them. Instead she opted for Generic Breakup Reason #547, the ol’ “Let’s break up now before we ruin our relationship by fighting and hating each other.” Which just… what? Out of all the solid reasons you had to break up with him, that’s the one you go with? The one that still absolves him of any wrongdoing and sounds more like you love him so much that you’d rather preserve what you have now than see it go down the proverbial toilet?

If only Hana could’ve at least given us the satisfaction that she’s learned a valuable lesson instead of just changing her mind, but then again, I’m stuck in the same position with Won too. Part of me is upset that he spent so long feeling like he couldn’t love Hana when he could have done what he did last episode literally any amount of years ago, all things considered. We’ve only been told that he and Dae-yoon were close, but even if it had been his brother who died with the sole contents of his will stating that Won could never ever love Hana, seventeen years would still be an unnecessarily long amount of time to get over something like that. There’s just no excuse.

Then again, I suppose being somewhere is better than being nowhere, so even if Won and Hana’s separate revelations could’ve been finessed into making an impact, at least they had revelations at all. It’s kind of a miserable state to be in when we have to accept whatever the show is giving us as long as it vaguely resembles progress, but that’s just how the cookie’s crumbling with this one. The only burning question I’d actually be eager to have answered at this point is why oh why Seo-hoo bowed out of his trip with President Min—knowing that’s all Hana wanted from him—only for him to disappear anyway and then not make a deal of telling her that he didn’t do the thing she threatened to break up with him for doing. What was the whole point of that exercise if nothing was going to change? Alternatively, could we just finish out the series with Hana giving Won gifts so he can keep smiling like this?

 
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