Karolina, sorry for the late reply, I just opened db today. I know our post is on open thread but it seems this website (on my desktop) only limit to 5 continuous replies, after that the reply button is no longer there.
How do you cope with it? I once thought that nothing can defeat me but what to do when you and your mind can’t find the way to overcome this exhaustion?
For me, right now coping=escaping. Even until now, I still have trouble to accept it and when sometimes it triggers me, I do something to make me forget about it (watching dramas, cooking, cleaning, playing with cats).
I think the only helping tool is time, it sounds cliche, but believe me after some time the stained memories (all the bad things that happened, the toxic people etc) will decrease. It might be not completely gone, but trust me one day you will scoff at the devil for playing with the strong you. You said that you take a break for half a year, it took me more than a year to recover, so you’re doing totally fine, better than me <3. And just like you cheered for Kudo Ran "At least after this the other jobs will be easier for you :)", you too can do the same. n_n
And also, I affirm myself several times that it's not my fault at all. I even say it out loud when the bad memories come bugging me. Try it, it really helps. It's not my fault, it's because I met wrong people. And I learn to accept that there are more bad people than good people in this world, and only by meeting the bad, we can see clearly the true value of the good one.
You stated that your work is toxic, I'm not sure if it's because of the people or the work overload, but either way, it's not your fault at all. I understand the pain of working in toxic environment. For me, it's the people. I can handle work overload (my work was fantastic, I loved it), but when it comes to human toxicity, it really is a mental torture. People will say that I have weak mentality for not being able to cope with them, but hey I love and value myself so much that I don't see why I should continue to work with these terrible people and sacrifice my sanity and health in long-term.
I am trying my best to be strong because I always was the strong one but…
You are strong. Always is. The fact is you were in the wrong place.
And lastly, when I’m totally at the dead end, that when everything is not working out not matter how much I force myself to stop it, I just accept it; all the inner bad dialogues that blame me, all the replay of memories of the bad stuffs that those people did to me, I just sit and sometimes lay down, and hear and remember it all, and I’m like, yeah that’s my fault, I will not do the same way in the future. I don’t dwell so much now because of TIME. Seriously, this will pass. This is nothing like my first month after the resignation, that month is a monster.
Thank you for your reply! Sorry I am late with mine but we just moved to a new place and I was so busy sorting out everything. I agree that time is the best cure it just annoys me that it takes so long. I am not very patient person π My problem was that I overworked my self to the point that my body and mind refused to function. I had very stressful job and then I started my master studies and worked part time at the same place which killed me. I thought I don’t have problems with workload and I was sooo wrong.
As I understand you were more hurt by people and what they did to you. My colleagues were nice to me just unhelpful and selfish. Anyway, dont blame yourself and don’t pay attention to people who are not close to you. Usually people say bad things to you because they dont feel good about themselves. It is their insecurities not yours. You should reflect on yourself and know your weaknesses so when somebody says something unpleasant you can identify if it is a real and reasonable critique or just their insecurities talking. If it is insecurities talking then it is just a noise which is not important to you. I worked with and met so many people who abuse others mentally in order to feel better about themselves. You dont have weak mentality because you can choose which words and opinions are important to you. Additionally, you are right there is no point to be in toxic environment and be with toxic people. I hope you are in a better place and in the future you’ll learn how to avoid and deal with toxic people :)))
Oh no, stressful job + your master studies + part time job, your body definitely took a big toll, gosh. But yeah, the accumulated stress really affect the body, not to mention the burnout. I totally understand.
The part when-will-this-get-better thing is very frustrating indeed, which sometimes makes me want to shake my fist to Mr. Time XD.
It’s good to hear that at least your colleagues were nice, but that unhelpful and selfish part, I can relate.
I don’t mind the late reply, we all have our real life π
And also, thank you for your kind talk + advice, I appreciate it.
I know it’s kinda late to wish this but I hope you will get better soon and your body will recover from the burnout.
All the best settling in, I hope everything will be sorted out real soon and you’ll have a good time at the new place. π
Well it is getting better. It is no where as bad as it was during the first months. Kdramas and DB really helped a lot to deal with it and shift my attention. I am very rational person in my life but kdramas allows me to get emotional discharge.
Thank you and I wish for you all the best π I love new place and the main bits are sorted out. I think new environment will help me π and yup Mr. Time is very annoying but it is how it is π
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Karolina π€πΌ
October 2, 2017 at 10:26 AM
Iβve just cried my eyes out whilst watching Live Up To Your Name last episodes. It was such a great drama!
πnoobitaπ
March 1, 2018 at 11:19 AM
Karolina, sorry for the late reply, I just opened db today. I know our post is on open thread but it seems this website (on my desktop) only limit to 5 continuous replies, after that the reply button is no longer there.
For me, right now coping=escaping. Even until now, I still have trouble to accept it and when sometimes it triggers me, I do something to make me forget about it (watching dramas, cooking, cleaning, playing with cats).
I think the only helping tool is time, it sounds cliche, but believe me after some time the stained memories (all the bad things that happened, the toxic people etc) will decrease. It might be not completely gone, but trust me one day you will scoff at the devil for playing with the strong you. You said that you take a break for half a year, it took me more than a year to recover, so you’re doing totally fine, better than me <3. And just like you cheered for Kudo Ran "At least after this the other jobs will be easier for you :)", you too can do the same. n_n
And also, I affirm myself several times that it's not my fault at all. I even say it out loud when the bad memories come bugging me. Try it, it really helps. It's not my fault, it's because I met wrong people. And I learn to accept that there are more bad people than good people in this world, and only by meeting the bad, we can see clearly the true value of the good one.
You stated that your work is toxic, I'm not sure if it's because of the people or the work overload, but either way, it's not your fault at all. I understand the pain of working in toxic environment. For me, it's the people. I can handle work overload (my work was fantastic, I loved it), but when it comes to human toxicity, it really is a mental torture. People will say that I have weak mentality for not being able to cope with them, but hey I love and value myself so much that I don't see why I should continue to work with these terrible people and sacrifice my sanity and health in long-term.
You are strong. Always is. The fact is you were in the wrong place.
And lastly, when I’m totally at the dead end, that when everything is not working out not matter how much I force myself to stop it, I just accept it; all the inner bad dialogues that blame me, all the replay of memories of the bad stuffs that those people did to me, I just sit and sometimes lay down, and hear and remember it all, and I’m like, yeah that’s my fault, I will not do the same way in the future. I don’t dwell so much now because of TIME. Seriously, this will pass. This is nothing like my first month after the resignation, that month is a monster.
Karolina π€πΌ
March 8, 2018 at 5:00 AM
Thank you for your reply! Sorry I am late with mine but we just moved to a new place and I was so busy sorting out everything. I agree that time is the best cure it just annoys me that it takes so long. I am not very patient person π My problem was that I overworked my self to the point that my body and mind refused to function. I had very stressful job and then I started my master studies and worked part time at the same place which killed me. I thought I don’t have problems with workload and I was sooo wrong.
As I understand you were more hurt by people and what they did to you. My colleagues were nice to me just unhelpful and selfish. Anyway, dont blame yourself and don’t pay attention to people who are not close to you. Usually people say bad things to you because they dont feel good about themselves. It is their insecurities not yours. You should reflect on yourself and know your weaknesses so when somebody says something unpleasant you can identify if it is a real and reasonable critique or just their insecurities talking. If it is insecurities talking then it is just a noise which is not important to you. I worked with and met so many people who abuse others mentally in order to feel better about themselves. You dont have weak mentality because you can choose which words and opinions are important to you. Additionally, you are right there is no point to be in toxic environment and be with toxic people. I hope you are in a better place and in the future you’ll learn how to avoid and deal with toxic people :)))
πnoobitaπ
March 9, 2018 at 11:34 AM
Oh no, stressful job + your master studies + part time job, your body definitely took a big toll, gosh. But yeah, the accumulated stress really affect the body, not to mention the burnout. I totally understand.
The part when-will-this-get-better thing is very frustrating indeed, which sometimes makes me want to shake my fist to Mr. Time XD.
It’s good to hear that at least your colleagues were nice, but that unhelpful and selfish part, I can relate.
I don’t mind the late reply, we all have our real life π
And also, thank you for your kind talk + advice, I appreciate it.
I know it’s kinda late to wish this but I hope you will get better soon and your body will recover from the burnout.
All the best settling in, I hope everything will be sorted out real soon and you’ll have a good time at the new place. π
Karolina π€πΌ
March 15, 2018 at 9:46 AM
Well it is getting better. It is no where as bad as it was during the first months. Kdramas and DB really helped a lot to deal with it and shift my attention. I am very rational person in my life but kdramas allows me to get emotional discharge.
Thank you and I wish for you all the best π I love new place and the main bits are sorted out. I think new environment will help me π and yup Mr. Time is very annoying but it is how it is π