Beanie level: Loan shark with a heart of gold

So, I absolutely promise that I 100% am probably not going to get sucked down into my Pretty Noona Who Disappointed Me hole (at least not publicly). However. However. The episode of INAR my buddy watch ended on was a cliffhanger and I needed something swoony to watch and I wound up clicking play on ep 6 of Pretty Noona and I noticed something.

After Jin-A gets caught sneaking in by her dad she’s on the phone with Joon-Hee. He’s basically begging her to be honest with him about what’s going on and telling her to not stress out alone. He wants to be there for her because a relationship should be a partnership and she cuts him out. She wants to shoulder it alone. She doesn’t want to burden him with it. It’s fine! She insists and when he doesn’t seem to believe her she changes it to I’ll be fine because I have you. And that’s basically their entire relationship in one interaction. But also, they both kind of suck in the same way. He wants to support and protect because he loves her and it’s his role as “the man” . She wants to shield him because she’s older but also because she’s carrying baggage from previous relationships. She wants to be in love but not reliant on him.
In this episode Joon-Hee tells Jin-A that he loves her for the first time. He tells her (and I love the use of silence –even if it’s interrupted by that AWFUL ost here) and we see him anxiously waiting for her response and when she doesn’t say anything he repeats himself except this time it’s like he’s wanting her to know that he means it. Saying I love you wasn’t impulsive or spur of the moment. Jin-a still doesn’t respond but we see her, sitting in her bed, hand pressed to her chest eyes closed and she’s clearly *feeling* it. His words, his love for her, allowing herself to really fall. It’s a super great moment.
And this is why this stupid drama is such an obsession for me. Every time I watch it I find something new to love.
Just the first 8, of course. The back 8 are straight nightmare fueled garbage fire.

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    This drama truly emphasizes the depth and the gravity of the words “I love you”. Though it’s only a simple 3 word phrase, it holds SO MUCH gravity, weight, meaning, heart, and importance. It’s why when drama writing makes the characters throw out the phrase all Willy nilly and oh so casually, it gets on my nerves 😬

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      Sometimes the weirdest of dramas have the most memorable scenes. This one was indeed 💯 with the feelz.

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    Maybe i should check out the 1st 8. Im kinda scared to touch this drama.

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      Well, the first 8 are genuinely lovely! And there are people out there who love the back half as much as the first half. I’m clearly not one of those people but I hear tell that they exist–even here in db! Aw, give it a go! I’ll totally buddy watch it with you if you want! Open invitation for whenever! I’d even ….watch….the back half. Something I’ve only done twice in my possible hundreds of rewatches. A tad wee bit obsessed.

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      It really depends on the individual viewer. The first half was great and sweet, and personally, I didn’t think the 2nd half is as insufferable as many people on DB have voiced it to be. Maybe because I’m used to seeing and watching horrible characters and horrible things in Dramaland, so it didn’t— and still doesn’t— phase me as much. I started re-watching this C-drama with a friend a few months ago (though, it’s her first time watching the drama), and watching alongside her, she make all these little commentaries over things that I personally never noticed and about things that make her go “Hmm” but which I never had the same reaction to when I watched the drama alone XD

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Ive clearly watched INAR before so…it wouldn’t really be that bad if I just finished the drama without my friend, would it? We stopped at SUCH a horrible place!

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    Nooooo. Don’t be that friend!! I hate it when my bestie does that to me. 😭😭

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      Im trying to hold out, I really am! I know how it ends! It shouldn’t be this hard! But there are so many excellent scenes right around the corner! We just have to get through the sad. Maybe I should focus on what to introduce her to next.

      Shes watched CLOY and we’re watching INAR. What should I show her next? Hmmmm.

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        Coffee Prince?

        In INAR the FL makes a guy with trust issues have an existential crisis, and in CP the FL makes a guy have a identity crisis? 😂

        Or maybe Are You Human Too or Holo, because robots can be lovely too? 😉

        You should just use this opportunity to rewatch all your favorite dramas with someone. That’s what I do with my friends. Hahaha.

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        Did you like The producers I just rewatched that it really is a great one to rewatch.

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Just finished the ep of INAR and Tilda just killed Johnny like the murdering murderess that she is. I forgot to enjoy my friends stress texts BECAUSE TEARS. All of them. All of the freaking tears.

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Tilda has entered the chat. Pardon me as I laugh in evil.

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To quote a comment, Double B king of the spoiler. I’m ready!!! Also, my managers husband has been laid off and he’s spending his days watching kdramas! I’m not the only one at work who watches kdramas (I’ve been slumped for a year so it’s not like I’ve even been actively watching kdramas) but I must watch them the loudest because my manager came to tell me about it with a list of dramas he’s watching. Ha!

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Fight for My Way is one of my all time favorite dramas. It came in my life right when I needed it. I was unemployed and no matter how many interviews I went on I just couldn\’t find a job. Or, when I found a job it just wasn\’t the right job. I wanted to give up. Watching those characters as their dreams changed but they kept fighting was exactly what I needed at that time. Doctor Slump is now one of my favorites for similar reasons. These last couple of years have been hard af. I mean, I\’ve literally walked through fire. But, just like in Doctor Slump things happen in their season and this season will end, eventually. My depression has been a lot and for very good reasons, but, I can still be happy. I can find moments in sadness, even when it seems like I\’m at the end of the world. I\’m struggling right now. But one day my (super hot) therapist will walk me to the door and say that I have the skill set to overcome the sadness. It won\’t be this week. But in the meantime I\’ll keep looking at his super hot face and finding myself in dramas. I forgot that was a thing I used to be able to do.

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    I think the only thing that I didn’t like was that our single parents never had an outing with both kids. As cute as they were with little Jin-Woo I kept thinking is the daughter not part of this super cute little family? How does she feel about a stepmother? I wanted her to go out with Hong-Ran on a macaron and makeup date. Or something! They never even met! I wanted to see the two kids meet and fall in sibling love or sibling rivalry! I hated that she just disappeared at the midway point and we didn’t see her again until the scene with her telling her dad to go for it and a brief picture of the 4 of them on Hong-Rans desk.

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    Also, what do I watch now?!

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    hwaiting. it is what it is. I also like Fight for my way, it reminded me of my very hard 20ies when I was verging homelessness and bankruptcy bc I wasnt taken seriously & always in “intern” position. I mean they expected a 21 yo have 15 years of experience like what??? went back to studying so I could stay at the night library.
    I dont miss my 20ies, I had nothing to eat… dont want to remember
    there are many tough things in life that make a person depressed. one has to be grounded in their core values & know that the only thing certain is everything changes. including bad situations.
    all will be swell. 200% redfox guarantee plus bonus mint candy.

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    I wanted to give you a virtual hug and a “fighting”. I’m glad you were able to find comfort in the show. Even if you can’t see the sun rise today you know it will rise tomorrow and soon you can watch it too.

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    I really liked Dr. slump too. Burnout and depression is real and this was a good show about coming out of it. You will as well! Love and hugs!

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I take back everything I said about Ha-Neuls mom. She is THE BEST. Ha-Neul is such a bad liar but she\’s been good for so long that when the lies fall out everyone just believes her because she\’s never lied! Meanwhile, Jeong-Woo is getting beat up!

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Yall. Yall. When I was in the 4th grade my science class did this same bean sprout plant thing and mine was the only one in 3 different 4th grades that didn\’t sprout. My science teacher gave me hers and the thing died IMMEDIATELY. Jeong-Woo. I feel you, friend.

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I meant to spend today watching Doctor Slump but watched my favorite episodes of Love o2o instead. Time well spent. Just finished watching the 3rd ep of Doctor Slump, though, and now I\’m super smitten.

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I\’ve started Doctor Slump. PSH is so dang pretty. Those first two eps are rough.

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Yall. What episode of INAR is Tilda introduced? My buddy watch continues and we\’ve started watching the occasional ep in person and I want to plan on watching the Tilda of it all in person. So I can cackle. Because I am a good friend.

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I am in the middle of (or rather the very beginning of as we\’ve only watched one ep) a buddy watch with a day from church. We click play at the same time and chitchat during the ep. She said the first ep was….ok. The drama? I am not a robot. I am not sure how to continue this friendship.

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Day 11
One good thing
The last couple of years have been awful. Honestly, when I think about it it\’s no wonder my depression is at an all time high (low?). But sometimes, one good thing is all I need to get me over the hump to give me the stamina to do all the not good things.
In December my car was stolen for the 4th time in 1.5 years. I had a rental that lasted for 1 month (have you tried asking your insurance company–nicely–to extend it? My ridiculous mechanic to me) and then it was walking back and forth work. It was bumming rides from people to get to various doctors appointments (I apparently almost had a heart attack/stroke,diabetes, burns, mental health, fractured bone in the back) I have a lot of doctors appointments. I was tired and frustrated and sad and mad and a whole host of other adjectives. I was bumming rides all of the time. I hate bumming rides. I hate asking for help. I decided I needed a car and I needed one now now now
Like seriously
Now.
One day I needed to go to the bank, I needed to go to the chiropractors, I needed to go to the pharmacy and a few other places. Uber is good if you\’re going from a to b. Getting a ride is fine if you\’re going from b to c. But if you\’re going from a to h and you need to stop at each letter in between there\’s no real way to get to all of those stops. So, for days I didn\’t have my meds so I just wandered around in pain. So, I found a car that I wanted. I had my friend test drive it with me and 2 days later I had a car. No co-signer, just me.
I feel like I\’m coming into my own.
I\’m only 40. (Eyeroll)
Anyway.
Having this one good thing happen suddenly makes it feel like other good things are possible. And even if other good things is a reach, this one good thing feels like it will help me navigate the rest.
So, here\’s to figuring it out.
Even if I have no idea what exactly it is.
Love, February

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    You got this, Isa!!
    Even if you have to break some things down to into a few more steps compared to how others would do it, just so you can do it, and will help you to get that thing done that you NEED done, then do it that way. Take things one day at a time if you have to… But honestly, don’t compare— comparing yourself to others is a dumb and bottomless rabbit hole to go down that ultimately doesn’t end well.
    And I totally get you— like, GET YOU— about the thing on bumming rides, because I am the same:
    I have a physical condition that doesn’t allow me to drive. If I wanted to drive, I forcibly still could, but the work and the patience and the hassle for me to get to that point is just not worth it— most of which, I’d have to purchase a car and then fork out more money to get it modified for me.
    Bumming rides feels like a hassle on most days, and on other days, it truly is a blessing, especially when the one you’re bumming off of is a super kind and sweet person and thinks of you asking them for rides is a way for them to bless and help you— like, are you for real???? 🥹

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    So happy for you finally having ann experience that has brought you hope for more answered prayers in the future. Thank you for sharing, take care.

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    Bright spots and one good thing help us look forward. You’ve got this, isa!

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Day 7
So. I\’ve broken a bone in my back. Just a tiny little thing running parallel to my spine. So small that there\’s no reason to try to fix it. It fix itself. It just needs time. But that tiny little thing took. me. DOWN. For the last week I\’ve been hobbling, hunched over like a crone, making it to the restroom maybe 75% of the time and honestly not doing a great job while I\’m in there. Every step is accompanied by a swallowed scream, every shift (are you aware of how often we shift) now has a short, staccato, sucking in of the breath. I\’m gasping literally all of the time. It\’s a problem.
Yesterday morning I fell out of bed. It wasn\’t a quick roll over one-time to many and now you\’re on the ground. I slid slowly, inch by agonizing inch, until with a (not so silent) scream I was on the ground. I couldn\’t move. It took me over an hour to move, and then another near hour to get up. I have rug burns on curious places from trying to stand. Getting on your knees is HARD.
While I was down there, crying, pleading, in pain I remembered my mother. My gosh yall. Typically when I think of her a handful of memories come, her teaching me how to read, reading together on a couch, that time she threw a chicken leg at my head and scream she hated me, the times she said she wished she had aborted me.
My therapist wants me to work on trust. Please insert the dryest, mockingyest heh you have in you right here.
Anyway. When I was 10 years old I lost my keys. I went home and knocked on the door hoping someone was home. The only person there was my mom. She was bedridden, not quite completely paralyzed but definitely not able to walk any distance. But I was her daughter and I was beating on the door and crying and pleading let me in. She threw herself out of her hospital bed and army crawled to the front door (her bedroom was the furthest from the front door) and she let me in. Did I mention she was blind? I don\’t know how long it took her. I don\’t remember. I remember her pulling herself up (how the actual f did she do that? Like…fr. was my mom superwoman?) and unlocking the door and I sat on the floor with her just inside our doorway and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And she held me. And she called me tootles. And we both realized that life would never be the same.
I remember the drugs. I remember the nastiness. But yesterday morning as I fought a pain that I could not overcome I remembered my mom. And she loved me.
Love, February

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    Ha. So. I don’t actually remember how to do Love February. I’m not sure I remember the formating. And it’s been so long since I’ve felt like a part of this community that I wasn’t sure it was right for me to participate. If it’s OK I may have one or two love February posts in me. If it’s not that’s OK too.

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    The pain felt so real I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

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    I hope your pain will lessen soon.

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    Feel better soon, isa /hugs.

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    Some days….. some people…..
    It might seem far fetched whenever we such things being portrayed in the dramas we watch, but the things the human body, mind, and soul can accomplish when we need it enough, when we WANT it enough…. It’s nothing short of a miracle. It’s not a joke when the grit and inner strength of a person— strength that we don’t think we ever had— comes to a head and the things that it propels us to accomplish is almost always beyond comprehension and understanding from a human— i.e. limited— understanding.

    My prayers are with you, Isa, as you endeavour on this journey to recovery ♥️ Keep in mind that it is okay to take it easy, that it is okay to make yourself a priority, because it is when we, ourselves, are at 100% can we then be at 100% for those around us

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    Saying she should have undergone an abortion sounds like a hit phrase to say when a mother is angry. Maybe not all mothers do this, but my mom did it sometimes when I was young and talked back to her (and I think she now regrets it and many things she did when she was younger). It’s sad, but it’s real: what cruel things people say when they are angry.

    Did I tell you when I was so sick the only person I thought of was my mom? How funny? The person I resented the most was the very person I thought of at crisis.

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      I feel this. My mom had drug problems when I was young and disabled when I was 9ish. I have like a year of having a mother. But when I’m sick and hurt my mom is who I want. Not necessarily *her* but the idea of a good mother. I think it’s normal. I’m sorry about your mother. Physical and emotional pain both suck.

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    I hope you feel better soon. Take care. You are stronger than you know. Stay blessed.

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Ok, I\’ve started Marry My Husband. Thr first episode is depressing af. But I get its setting up everything else. I\’ve never liked time travel dramas. Should I watch or drop?

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    The absolute gall of this family! She goes –alone–to thr hospital and learns she has cancer and all her stupid husband and his awful mother has to say is who’s going to cook now? He doesn’t work so all the money coming in is her income and he can’t pull his *ahem* out of her “friend” and come bring HER money to the hospital to pay her bills? He’s. So. Gross. And her friend looks her dead in the eye while she’s plotting her death “ill never leave you”
    He’s using her insurance to buy that awful woman a bag?
    I don’t know yall. These two absolutely deserve each other. I want her to go back in time and get her happiness and for them to be miserable together but I also want them to go to prison forever and ever and ever.

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      We’re 25 mins into the first ep and we’re doing the “let me put your shoes on for you you delicate flower” already? Is this a record?

      Wait a minute! Is that my sweet girl from FMW being awful?! GASP.

      GIRL. It’s 2013. Make some good investments, go get checked for Cancer every few years and f that jerk you married and his awful mama.

      YES!

      Oh my gosh this library/bookstore is doing things to my book loving heart and this floppy haired, glasses wearing boss guy is so handsome.

      Oh, they really were best friends their entire lives. And she’s sleeping with her husband talking about die already. It

      He did the look back! Swoon!

      It’s no wonder she has no dang friends.

      Dang it. I can’t hate her. She’s so cute. Oh look at her primping when our girl is getting yelled at for how she’s dressed! Ick I’ll overlook her cuteness. She’s a bad person. Yuck!

      Oh. Interesting. I wonder if she’ll ever feel guilt or regret it? Like clearly she’s a fake friend and they both absolutely deserve every horrible thing but I think it’s one thing to do something in the moment and another to watch something play out. I wonder if knowing how awful the friend is will help her see how awful the friend is and that will help her sustain her anger to dump her awful fate on her former friend.

      Also. Hot boss guy. Is he also from the future?

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    If you don’t like TT, there is a lot that hinges on it so hard for you to continue.

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      I really don’t like time travel. How much time travel is there though? I was assuming it would be maybe 1-4 times? The initial jump, maybe a jump to the future to see if things are better or worse at some point, back to the past again to fix and adjust and a final trip back to the future to pick up and start living her new life. I could handle that, but if this is one of those time travel dramas where were zipping back and forth every few mins per ep I can’t do it. My main problem is I can’t sit still and just…watch a drama. I have to do things with my hands. And it’s too difficult to try and do things with my hands and keep up with a million time lines!

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        No zipping backwards and forwards so you don’t have to worry about that but flashbacks serve that purpose although no excessively.

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    It does get better, but you have to see if it agrees with you. 😊

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      I did really like the first ep as dark as it was. I loved how quickly she’s picking up on things and realizing that there has to be balance. I would have expected in a drama like this to have a few scenes where she’s relishing her future knowledge but I like that they didn’t swerve into something silly they go straight to the plot. But with as heavy as the first ep is I wonder if there’s any lightness in the drama?

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        I don’t think ANY current K-drama can be accused of “lightness” – dark, darker, darkest is the way to go. 😭

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          Boooo!! That could be why I’m just not loving dramas these days. I watch for lightness

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          My favorite drama is season 2 of It Started With a Kiss, and then Fight for My Way, Jealousy Incarnate, Another Oh Hae Young, A Gentleman’s Dignity, Chicago Typewriter, I’m Not a Robot, Dal-Jas SpringI could go on and on. The only recent thing I’ve managed to finish to the end was Castaway Diva. I love a Noona Romance oh my gosh. The Thai version of It Started With a Kiss. Kiss Me. I loved all of those but I think theblast time I really had *fun* with a drama, not just watching it but had fun with was when EVERYONE here on db was watching that incredibly cracktackular Emperor drama, and the most recent Boys Over Flowers adaptation and there were groups of us who couldn’t wait for the subs (I think subs were funky that year) would watch all together with one lone bean doing on the spot translating and then we’d all watch again later. And oh my lands, the great beanie ship war when there were a ton of beanies watching A Poem A Day and there was an insane ship war flooding the board but because it was db it was the gentlest most hilarious war that there ever has been. I still have the fanfic that that war spawned.

          Maybe I’ve outgrown dramas. So much of my love of the dramas was wrapped up in my love of this community and I come here now and I don’t know anyone. All of the people that I knew back then seem to have…. grown up?and they’ve taken the friends that they made here and they’ve formed a new community. And I’m still here. Without a drama to watch, not really a part of the community anymore. And not really going anywhere with my life.

          I’ve always been known (back when I was known) for epic overshares. So there we go.

          What’s your favorite drama? What’s your catnip? I love the Noona romances and anything with adults. Which is a solid part of why I love noonas there aren’t candy’s looking for their prince charming there’s grown ass women looking (or not looking) for love and some guy comes and sweeps her off her hardworking feet. A grown up candy, if you will.

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            @seeker
            Also, i have a well documented love hate relationship with the first 8 eps of Something in the Rain or (Pretty Noona who disappointed tf outta me)

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            Thank you so much for taking out time to respond. You sure had a lot of fun drama watching before. I do hope you get some new dramas you like and find some new friends on DB. 😅

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            My K-drama love started with Full House and hasn’t stopped since. For me I love all things K-dramas. While I discovered DB a long time ago, I couldn’t contribute and have started only recently. But have been a long time lurker and and loved both the old DB and new DB which has been an integral part of my drama watching experience.

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    Watch 🙂
    If you fell for Mr.Glasses… and if you want some comeuppance for our (fascinating and well acted) villains, watch. 🙂
    There will also come later a smexy HR manager, on a bike. 🏍 😉

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      You, friend, are speaking my language. I don’t know anyone’s name yet, but, I did feel like they were giving layers to the former friend. There’s a duality that I saw in that first ep. She can love and admire and want the best for her friend with her while heart, and be burning with jealousy and want everything the main character has. Both can be true at the same time. It’s like she’s walking on a balance beam, though, what tips her to the point where sleeping with her friends husband, wishing for her best friend to hurry up and die is more important than loving her friend?

      As for that husband! Yuck. She says that she stayed with him because she was scared of leaving, of being alone. I wonder if he was ever physically abusive–we know he was abusive in every other way and we saw him shove her so hard she fell through the table and died. And he slammed her against the wall and raised his hand to her without making contact. So. Hmm.

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Now I just need saltnpaper to give me something new and I\’ll be quite content.

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Vromances new album is flat out gorg.e.ous. It\’s only 3 songs but my gosh.

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Yall. What a day to be a fan. GOT7s 10 year anniversary and vromance FINALLY announcing a comeback! I hope they get some support this time. They are SO talented.

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Well. I\’ve started My Demon. I\’m on ep 2 and my lands the end of the first episode was just…pretty. No idea whats happening but boy howdy. Pretty. And for once I\’m not talking about the cast (although,obviously) it\’s the cinematography and atmosphere and such . The wave coming over them? That was some little mermaid business.

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Well, I finished Castaway Diva and I have a question. Why was there no girl power duet (or trio) with Mok-Ha, Morae (and Ran-Joo). It was begging for some girl power power rock ballad. I thought maybe we were getting there when we Morae and Mok-Ha were all fired up about their switched song and realized they had no real reason to be fighting and their collective rage puttered out into nothing. But then no girl power rock anthem AND then didn\’t storm the CEOs penthouse and kick him in the shin either. Disappointed.

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Currently RecapPing

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