Happy New Year, everybody! I haven’t shared my blog posts here in a while but I couldn’t leave this one – here’s a list of my favourite dramas of the year:
Wish you a Happy New Year!! 😊 May this year be blessed with joys you never knew you wanted but needed.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful article and your drama journey for 2023. I hope you will find yourself in a better place personally and professionally this year.
When you think of Healer, what do you remember? A group watch with @turtuallysarcastic@saturtledaisy and @ayaan inspired this blog post about Healer and its staying power!
Nice look back in your post! I always think of Jeong-hoo’s and Young-shin’s escape from the gangster’s house in ep. 5 – she’s so sure she is rescuing him, when he’s just used all his Healer powers to set up the cascading collapse of shelves and equipment in the garden to get her out of there seemingly by accident without betraying himself. And then that little look of triumph/glee/crush he throws as they run just slays me. It’s both of them at peak them.
Sorry. Late to the party. A very good retrospective frabbycrabsis. Upfront my favorite HEALER scene is the episode 9 ‘makeover’ at the salon scene. (I am sure today folks would find some fault with it.) I loved at the end when Bong-soo ( kdrama bow) sticks out his arm and Young-shin takes it. (Do you remember she tried out an unsuccessful wolf-whistle to show her approval? Btw that is in @javabeans recap.)
Anyway, HEALER (2014/15) was a great kdrama and my introduction to kdramaland in 2016 so it has a special place in my heart. It continues to be my favorite Park Min-young drama and it introduced be to the great Kim Mi-kyung (Jo Min-ja).
There’s absolutely no way to pick fault with the makeover scene! It’s so much fun to see them get dressed up to take down some evil old men in style 🔥🔥🔥
Hey guys! I wrote a quick thing about what it was like to see the Someday or One Day film at the cinema! Basically, I loved it. Tread carefully though, I spoil everything 😂
I’m impressed I’ve gotten this far with Love February, to be honest. When I was little, I always wanted to be one of those people who keeps a diary; a lovingly crafted diary, with sketches and collages and sentiments written in beautiful cursive writing with shimmering gel pens. Unfortunately, though, I’m not that person – I’ve never been able to consistently keep a diary, not for a long time at least. And I’ve tried many times.
I’m glad to have at least attempted it though – it’s crazy going back to old diaries and seeing the cringey things your past-self wrote. For instance, I found one from 2015 the other day. I was challenging myself to watch as many dramas as possible over the summer holidays, one of which being Shining Inheritance, a show I didn’t think much about then but is now my ultimate favourite drama. Funny how things change?
Anyway, it’s been a challenge to consistently post things for Love February, even though it’s only been two weeks. There have been a few lazy days, that’s for sure. But I chose to do this this time around because I thought it would be good for my brain, and I was right. It wasn’t just the checking back in everyday, or the consciously holding on to nice little things that happened so I could write about them. It was that it brought me back here, every day, pouring through the fanwall (which I didn’t even do when I was here every day, I usually forget about it) and seeing all of you guys again! I still see a lot of you (since I mostly live on the Discord server now) but with everyone I don’t, it kind of feels like a funny school reunion. I get to see where everyone’s lives are these days.
And maybe years from now we can look back on the things we’ve written and see them like funny little diaries, time capsules preserving versions of ourselves that no longer exist.
This is all to say, Cocoa created something really special here, and I’m so glad I joined this time.
I’ve got something a bit personal planned for tomorrow, so until then,
This is really nice. I totally failed to keep up with Love February posts myself but I have loved reading everyone elses.
Reading old diaries is always an interesting vibe. It’s like the person who wrote them (especially really old teenage ones) is a completely unrelated person sometimes.
I love the idea of journalling, complete with all the cute stickers and fancy pens (perfectly exemplified by Na Heedo in 25,21), but I’m too lazy and would definitely cringe at myself 😂
Also, I’ve really enjoyed your posts! Your writing is so vivid and your stories are so relatable.
This evening, I went out for drinks with the owner of an art gallery I started volunteering at recently to talk over some work things. I was telling her about all my apprehensions towards my new job, and she essentially said to me, “You’re good with people, and they need that, so you’ll do great.” That lovely sentiment kind of stopped my brain for a moment because I never expected that she might think I’m good with people.
I don’t think I’m good with people in the slightest. I never say anything smart or interesting in most social situations because I’m better when I have time to reflect and collect my thoughts. I retreat into myself when I meet new people. I’m a smiling robot with three pre-programmed phrases. Eye contact with strangers and people I’m uncomfortable with is unbearable, and in evading it, I can’t help but start to track my eye movements. I try to create a natural pattern. I’ll look at the floor, across the table, over their shoulder, at their face, rinse and repeat.
I’m a censored, measured, jittery version of myself with 95% of people – only the few remaining get to see the real me. And it’s not even my choice! It’s like my brain goes through an instantaneous interview selection process and refuses to inform me on why and how the people I end up myself around have passed.
All this to say, I’m baffled every time I receive a compliment like this and struggle to see it as a good thing. If my mask has gotten convincing enough for me to be told I’m “good with people”, am I ever going to be able to drop it?
But, tonight I was clever. I was creative. I showed her my favourite painting (I’ll add a picture of it), something that’s very personal to me. I tripped over my words a little bit, but for the most part, I articulated myself well. I think I deserved tonight’s compliment, and I refuse to agonize any further on what it means for me.
Love, February
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about other people’s perceptions of us and our actual experiences of being, so insightful. And this wonderful picture…Wow! I saw it and immediately thought of the K drama The package.
Oooh, it does remind you of that, doesn’t it? This is called ‘Castle by the Harbour’ by Leonid Afremov, who lived in France and took a lot of inspiration from French cities and stuff, so it’s possible that this actually was inspired by that location!
One of the things that has really stuck with me about Thirty But Seventeen over the years is that the heroine Seo-ri described her post-coma existence, where she had no stability or direction, as her life’s “intermission”. Eventually, the intermission would end, and her life would go on again.
I think these last six months were my intermission. It was painful to try and imagine the future – as far as I was concerned, I didn’t have one – so I was convinced I would be stuck in my torturous situation forever. But now that I have a full-time job on the horizon, the future is opening up again, and I can imagine all the wonderful things coming my way, like:
A place to live that’s just mine
Full of all my things, finally in one place
My clothes and books and treasures
Accessible at all times
Money to spend
Going to the cinema and the theatre
Visiting friends around the country
Eating out at my favourite restaurants
Taking holidays
Time that is just mine
To spend finishing my novel
Experimenting with recipes
Watching all the dramas on my list
Exploring my new neighbourhood
Resting, finally
And the possibility of being alone with myself, and liking it
I am so happy you found this job and you can start a life of small pleasures and luxuries.
I’ve been living there for some years and now the only thing I really want is time to do things and time to do nothing. Time is the only thing I wish I could have more.
But sometimes, when I’m sitting in my sofa, like now, spending whole morning going through the beanie wall that I neglected for the last week, I feel like I’m a millionaire enjoying every pleasure in life.
I think my creative juices flow faster when I should be doing anything else – for instance, I should be doing my volunteer work and prepping for my new job, but all I can think about is the things I want to write!
My brain is best when I\’m writing for pleasure, and I have so many ideas on the go at the moment. Would people want to read a retrospective on Ma Boy and its surprisingly toxic message? A passionate defence of the amnesia trope? A dissection of all the weirdness that was Jealousy Incarnate? Another mega-essay recapping and analysing The Interest of Love?
Whether they want it or not, I\’m writing it!
Love, February
The best thing happened just now! I work at a chip shop at the moment (only two weeks left!) and was told I could go early. I ordered some food to take away with me, and while I was waiting I realised I should check the bus timetables. I had just missed one, and the other was coming in five minutes (which is how long it takes to get to that bus stop).
I assumed I would never make it and trudged to the bus stop, annoyed that I would have to wait 40 minutes for the next one. It takes an hour to get home, so it really makes a difference! But not long after I sat down, it came! I’ve never been so grateful for a bus to be late before!
The littlest things can totally flip how your day is going!
Love, February
I was going to write something silly today, but I found out a few hours ago that someone I\’ve known most of my life has died. My sisters have been distracting me and making me laugh, but now that I\’m alone, I\’m just going to let myself be sad about it.
Ah I’m so sorry and I understand the feeling. It’s good to just let yourself feel everything and let it go when it’s time.
I still think of my friend who died the beginning of January…..
Sending you love and hugs from Oregon.
love, February
<<<<>>>>
You have the right to be sad, because losing someone you love, and the idea of never seeing them again is sad. Then you will have time to smile remembering all the good moments, and even laugh when your remember “that time that…”.
Sending you all my love.
Last night, my best friend called me. She was going up to her hotel room to crash for half an hour before going back downstairs for a company dinner. You see, my friend is currently setting up a massive event in London, working 14 hour days and networking in the evenings. She’s simultaneously having the time of her life and deeply exhausted. I’ve been making an effort to send her a little text of some kind every other day, even though I know she’s too busy to check them regularly, just to let her know I’m her biggest fan and she’s doing great. And last night she called me. She only had half an hour to rest, but she called me, and we chatted like we used to every day at university, about nothing and everything. This is how I know we’re going to be friends for a very long time. This one’s for her!
Love, February
I really suffer with the Sunday Blues. Friday and Saturday are limitless, but Sunday is always tainted by the shadow of the impending Monday. So let’s just embrace the melancholy! Why fight it? Blues have a beauty of their own – I’ll listen to some Jannabi, curl up in bed, and finish the blog post I’ve been working on. I refuse to feel like I’m wasting the day away!
Love, February
Just think of February as 28 shades of blue, like the gorgeous flowing royal robes in Alchemy of Souls~ Monday’s prism of blue on it’s way (try a hooray)!
I didn’t like animals before. I could passively appreciate their cuteness, but I didn’t fall at my feet for them the way the people around me did. I was unaffected.
And then almost two years ago, my sister asked for my help – she was adopting a dog, a stray from Serbia, and she needed me to drive her to the motorway services just outside the city to collect him. I was happy to help, but I didn’t expect to feel much for the dog. I was also worried – this puppy had probably been through unspeakable things, would he be aggressive? Standoffish? Impossible to train?
Leo, however, was none of those things.
Leo, perhaps because of what he had been through, immediately cuddled up to all of us, ready for everyone’s love. He was unspeakably lovable from the moment I laid eyes on him, and has become even more so as the layers of his personality have unfolded.
This little puddle of fur, this snuffley truffley piglet, this furry seal cub, has singlehandedly changed how my brain works. I get it now. I get why people treasure their pets, what a comfort they are, how strong the compulsion is to protect them.
And I never want to go back to how it was before!
Aww, I’m not a pet person either, but my brother recently took in a stray cat, and we’ve all fallen in love with him. He’s so affectionate and just wants to be petted and be around people all the time. Now I’m looking into adopting a cat when I move to a bigger place.
I never thought my life would be much better and happier with a pet. One of the best things in life was to arrive home and being welcomed (or better, scolded, where have I been all day long?) by Catalina when I arrived home. Being a cat’s butler was one of the best things in my life.
I’ve always been unashamed of the fact that I still rewatch the shows I watched as a child. If I can still tolerate them as an adult, isn’t that just a testament to how good they are?
Charlie and Lola heals my inner child, the little girl who refused to be anything other than herself. The Raggy Dolls makes me feel better about my body. Towser has no right being so funny decades and decades after it was released, but it still makes me laugh. The list goes on.
And then there’s Mumfie.
Funny story, 2020 was the worst year of my life (no big surprise there, but it wasn’t directly because of the Big Terrible Thing). I remember all the times I was happy that year because they struck me by surprise.
Here’s when I was happy:
1. When it was revealed that Masaki Suda (my favourite actor) was playing the villain in MIU 404, which I hadn’t even known he was going to be in.
2. When, about fifteen years after being introduced to it, I finally got to know how Mumfie ended.
You see, we only had two out of three of the video releases, so for my entire life, Mumfie ended on a horrible cliffhanger. I looked for that final video for years, to no avail, and had basically given up on ever finding the last few episodes. But in 2020, someone uploaded the whole series on YouTube, and I finally got my happy ending.
Mumfie is a short and sweet adventure series about a lonely little elephant looking for adventure, who inadvertently befriends lonely people everywhere he goes. Seeing it complete closed a hole in my heart I didn’t know I had, at a time when I had forgotten what happiness feels like.
And today, I gift it to you. If you want it, of course.
I still watch the shows I loved as a child. I distinctly remember being in 3rd grade and LOVING the TV show Ghost Writer. I tied a shoestring around a pen that I wore around my neck and had a notebook dedicated to the mystery of the month. I would go and talk my dad’s ear off about my theories and have vivid fantasies about Tina and Alex.
I still watch episodes from that show at least once every other year. And if you guessed the episodes I rewatch are Alex/Tina heavy you would be right because 30 years later I STILL SHIP THEM. And possibly call people “My little pepperoni pizza” because of Tina in the My Girl Friday mystery. (also the mystery where Alex asked Tina out and she BROKE HIS HEART).
Im glad you finally found the ending to your show. I’m glad it brought you moments of comfort in a terrible year. No one should have a lifetime of horrible cliffhangers. That’s terrible.
You know what, I haven’t heard of either of these (not that I expect anyone to have heard of mine, the examples I gave are all very English and some are pretty obscure), but they sound great!
And what is it about the ships we grew up with that we’re still crazy about them today? I’ve always been a fan of romance, so if the show so much as TEASED a love line (most of it was just teasing) them I was there! 😂
Oh my, Mumfie!! We used to have one video cassette of this as well. I told my sister-in-law about it and she had no idea what we were talking about. The movie we had feels like a fever dream, but happy to find someone that also watched it!
OH MY GOSH! I didn’t expect anyone to know what I was talking about! No one else in my life knows about it – I suspect that it’s because a lot of the things I watched as a child were sort of hand me downs from my parents or older siblings.
Did you ever see the ending as a child?? The show ended with Mumfie and Scarecrow walking into a scary pirate cave as a child, and I had to sit on that cliffhanger for YEARS 😂
I was also happy to find someone that knows it! I honestly don’t remember the ending! 😅 But, whoa, that is scary and the wait long! Glad you were able to see the end of it!!🙂
I graduated university last July with an unfounded amount of confidence in life’s ability to make the pieces fall into place. Aside from a six-week internship, I had nothing in place and was in no rush to find a full-time job. It’ll work itself out, I thought.
In hindsight, it’s very obvious that I was setting myself up for months of unemployment and crushing disillusionment. Nothing could have prepared me for how depressing, shameful and soul-destroying it is to be a jobseeker, especially when your friends are already assimilating into the adult world in roles you can only envy.
It’s been the second-hardest winter of my life, and by far the loneliest.
But today, strangely and almost comically, everything has worked itself out.
This morning I secured a job that pays very well, that will allow me to do things I’m passionate about inside and outside the office, and that can propel me out of my sister’s house and into the independent life I’ve been desperate to lead. It’s too good to be true, honestly, and I can’t fathom how someone who has only met me once has so much confidence in my abilities. I am humbled, and I am so, so grateful.
So today I’m feeling like I really do
Love,
February.
Glad to hear this! job search can be cruel, but glad you got a job and one you seem to like. You can only connect the dots looking backwards, (like Steve Jobs said) so hoping all the dots are lining up for a bright future! Cheers!
As someone who was in the same position as you once upon a time, I can say that things fall into place the way they need to, even if it’s not on our own timelines. You’re going to be great!
Congratulations! I’ve also had (and still do to some extent) disillusionment. I graduated later than my peers and having a disability finding work has been a struggle, it’s hard not to compare with my friends but we all have our struggles. I’m really happy for you! I hope this new chapter of your life will bring you the joy and independence you deserve!
Congrats on the new job, you have been able to spend unexpected time with your sister and to rest after the stress of studies. Now you have learnt about yourself and endured some tests in confidence you have secured a dream job as your first post grad step into the world of work. Ask around, this is not a story many can tell about their entry into the job market.
I’ve decided to do Love February this year because I think it will be good for my brain. Do you know what isn’t? TikTok. So as an act of love towards myself, today I’m deleting it.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
January 2, 2024 at 12:30 PM
Happy New Year, everybody! I haven’t shared my blog posts here in a while but I couldn’t leave this one – here’s a list of my favourite dramas of the year:
https://crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2024/01/01/my-favourite-dramas-of-2023/
🌸 Seeker 🌸
January 2, 2024 at 12:45 PM
Wish you a Happy New Year!! 😊 May this year be blessed with joys you never knew you wanted but needed.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful article and your drama journey for 2023. I hope you will find yourself in a better place personally and professionally this year.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
January 2, 2024 at 1:48 PM
Thank you so much! ♥️
Seeking balance and peace in my life this year 💪
Reply1988 -❣️Mother Bean❣️
January 2, 2024 at 12:51 PM
Happy New Year.
Interesting piece, thanks for linking it here😊
tabong is ironing the crosswalk
January 2, 2024 at 1:09 PM
Happy new year!!
Midnight
January 2, 2024 at 9:16 PM
I squeed when I saw another Beanie loving Shining Inheritance as much as I do and being reminded of it with King the Land like I was!
Loved reading your 3 posts about King the Land!
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
January 2, 2024 at 10:35 PM
Haha, thank you! At least the two of us will always be around to hype up Shining Inheritance 😆♥️
korfan
January 3, 2024 at 12:33 AM
Happy New Year! Thanks for sharing your blog posts with us! 🙂
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
June 17, 2023 at 3:54 PM
Anybody watching The Real Has Come? Too bad, I decided to recap a totally different weekend drama instead 😂
Enjoy!
https://crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2023/06/17/young-lady-and-gentleman-weekend-drama-recaps/
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
May 27, 2023 at 2:56 PM
When you think of Healer, what do you remember? A group watch with @turtuallysarcastic @saturtledaisy and @ayaan inspired this blog post about Healer and its staying power!
https://crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2023/05/27/a-healer-retrospective/
Elinor, Team Glasses team co-captain
May 27, 2023 at 4:47 PM
Nice look back in your post! I always think of Jeong-hoo’s and Young-shin’s escape from the gangster’s house in ep. 5 – she’s so sure she is rescuing him, when he’s just used all his Healer powers to set up the cascading collapse of shelves and equipment in the garden to get her out of there seemingly by accident without betraying himself. And then that little look of triumph/glee/crush he throws as they run just slays me. It’s both of them at peak them.
I really need a rewatch.
Ally
May 27, 2023 at 6:37 PM
That is the scene that made me know Healer was a keeper!!!
lapislazulii
May 27, 2023 at 9:31 PM
Yes me too – I loved his little smile as he’s following her lead. What an iconic duo!!
PYC
May 27, 2023 at 9:42 PM
This is without doubt an instant classics in k-drama. That little smile at the end caps it off so memorably.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
May 28, 2023 at 2:17 AM
That scene is ICONIC.
Midnight
May 27, 2023 at 10:30 PM
The first thing I always remember is Park Min Young with short hair. She really really should cut her hair again.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
May 28, 2023 at 2:09 AM
Hard agree from me – she looked so good with that haircut!
Midnight
May 28, 2023 at 3:13 AM
Yes!
bong-soo
May 28, 2023 at 5:23 PM
Sorry. Late to the party. A very good retrospective frabbycrabsis. Upfront my favorite HEALER scene is the episode 9 ‘makeover’ at the salon scene. (I am sure today folks would find some fault with it.) I loved at the end when Bong-soo ( kdrama bow) sticks out his arm and Young-shin takes it. (Do you remember she tried out an unsuccessful wolf-whistle to show her approval? Btw that is in @javabeans recap.)
Anyway, HEALER (2014/15) was a great kdrama and my introduction to kdramaland in 2016 so it has a special place in my heart. It continues to be my favorite Park Min-young drama and it introduced be to the great Kim Mi-kyung (Jo Min-ja).
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
May 29, 2023 at 10:48 PM
There’s absolutely no way to pick fault with the makeover scene! It’s so much fun to see them get dressed up to take down some evil old men in style 🔥🔥🔥
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
April 6, 2023 at 7:08 AM
Hey everybody! So I rewatched the Kim So-hyun mini drama Ma Boy and… I had feelings.
https://crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2023/04/06/does-anyone-remember-ma-boy/
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 24, 2023 at 2:34 AM
The reign of the Hot Shower Scene is over! Long live the Awkwardly Shot Depressing Shower Scene!
beffels
February 24, 2023 at 2:09 PM
I feel like that’s a throwback cousin to the Creepy Spy Camera We Put In This Guy’s Bathroom Shower Scenes of the early 2000s.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 23, 2023 at 1:01 PM
I know that opinions on The Interest of Love weren’t so high here, but I want to leave my final review here anyway, because I loved it to pieces and think that love should be shared!
https://crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2023/02/23/the-interest-of-love-final-thoughts/
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 18, 2023 at 3:38 PM
Hey guys! I wrote a quick thing about what it was like to see the Someday or One Day film at the cinema! Basically, I loved it. Tread carefully though, I spoil everything 😂
https://wordpress.com/post/crabbyfordramas.wordpress.com/2367
PYC
February 18, 2023 at 7:26 PM
With a follow up movie out, I don’t have any excuses but to finish the drama first.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 13, 2023 at 10:52 AM
I’m impressed I’ve gotten this far with Love February, to be honest. When I was little, I always wanted to be one of those people who keeps a diary; a lovingly crafted diary, with sketches and collages and sentiments written in beautiful cursive writing with shimmering gel pens. Unfortunately, though, I’m not that person – I’ve never been able to consistently keep a diary, not for a long time at least. And I’ve tried many times.
I’m glad to have at least attempted it though – it’s crazy going back to old diaries and seeing the cringey things your past-self wrote. For instance, I found one from 2015 the other day. I was challenging myself to watch as many dramas as possible over the summer holidays, one of which being Shining Inheritance, a show I didn’t think much about then but is now my ultimate favourite drama. Funny how things change?
Anyway, it’s been a challenge to consistently post things for Love February, even though it’s only been two weeks. There have been a few lazy days, that’s for sure. But I chose to do this this time around because I thought it would be good for my brain, and I was right. It wasn’t just the checking back in everyday, or the consciously holding on to nice little things that happened so I could write about them. It was that it brought me back here, every day, pouring through the fanwall (which I didn’t even do when I was here every day, I usually forget about it) and seeing all of you guys again! I still see a lot of you (since I mostly live on the Discord server now) but with everyone I don’t, it kind of feels like a funny school reunion. I get to see where everyone’s lives are these days.
And maybe years from now we can look back on the things we’ve written and see them like funny little diaries, time capsules preserving versions of ourselves that no longer exist.
This is all to say, Cocoa created something really special here, and I’m so glad I joined this time.
I’ve got something a bit personal planned for tomorrow, so until then,
Love, February
tabong is ironing the crosswalk
February 13, 2023 at 11:49 AM
A like button isn’t enough, I love your post so much. 💚
beffels
February 13, 2023 at 12:01 PM
This is really nice. I totally failed to keep up with Love February posts myself but I have loved reading everyone elses.
Reading old diaries is always an interesting vibe. It’s like the person who wrote them (especially really old teenage ones) is a completely unrelated person sometimes.
kadota
February 13, 2023 at 12:04 PM
I love the idea of journalling, complete with all the cute stickers and fancy pens (perfectly exemplified by Na Heedo in 25,21), but I’m too lazy and would definitely cringe at myself 😂
Also, I’ve really enjoyed your posts! Your writing is so vivid and your stories are so relatable.
neener ~ Inside the Magic Shop ~
February 13, 2023 at 12:57 PM
I don’t really commit myself to things till the end and after completing Love, February last year it made me want to do it again this year.
It’s been lovely seeing you around here as well Frabby~
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 12, 2023 at 3:52 PM
This evening, I went out for drinks with the owner of an art gallery I started volunteering at recently to talk over some work things. I was telling her about all my apprehensions towards my new job, and she essentially said to me, “You’re good with people, and they need that, so you’ll do great.” That lovely sentiment kind of stopped my brain for a moment because I never expected that she might think I’m good with people.
I don’t think I’m good with people in the slightest. I never say anything smart or interesting in most social situations because I’m better when I have time to reflect and collect my thoughts. I retreat into myself when I meet new people. I’m a smiling robot with three pre-programmed phrases. Eye contact with strangers and people I’m uncomfortable with is unbearable, and in evading it, I can’t help but start to track my eye movements. I try to create a natural pattern. I’ll look at the floor, across the table, over their shoulder, at their face, rinse and repeat.
I’m a censored, measured, jittery version of myself with 95% of people – only the few remaining get to see the real me. And it’s not even my choice! It’s like my brain goes through an instantaneous interview selection process and refuses to inform me on why and how the people I end up myself around have passed.
All this to say, I’m baffled every time I receive a compliment like this and struggle to see it as a good thing. If my mask has gotten convincing enough for me to be told I’m “good with people”, am I ever going to be able to drop it?
But, tonight I was clever. I was creative. I showed her my favourite painting (I’ll add a picture of it), something that’s very personal to me. I tripped over my words a little bit, but for the most part, I articulated myself well. I think I deserved tonight’s compliment, and I refuse to agonize any further on what it means for me.
Love, February
Reply1988 -❣️Mother Bean❣️
February 12, 2023 at 8:23 PM
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about other people’s perceptions of us and our actual experiences of being, so insightful. And this wonderful picture…Wow! I saw it and immediately thought of the K drama The package.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 13, 2023 at 1:32 AM
Oooh, it does remind you of that, doesn’t it? This is called ‘Castle by the Harbour’ by Leonid Afremov, who lived in France and took a lot of inspiration from French cities and stuff, so it’s possible that this actually was inspired by that location!
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 11, 2023 at 3:47 PM
Here’s an anthem for my fellow introverts that’s brought me a lot of comfort over these few last years!
Love, February
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 10, 2023 at 3:50 PM
One of the things that has really stuck with me about Thirty But Seventeen over the years is that the heroine Seo-ri described her post-coma existence, where she had no stability or direction, as her life’s “intermission”. Eventually, the intermission would end, and her life would go on again.
I think these last six months were my intermission. It was painful to try and imagine the future – as far as I was concerned, I didn’t have one – so I was convinced I would be stuck in my torturous situation forever. But now that I have a full-time job on the horizon, the future is opening up again, and I can imagine all the wonderful things coming my way, like:
A place to live that’s just mine
Full of all my things, finally in one place
My clothes and books and treasures
Accessible at all times
Money to spend
Going to the cinema and the theatre
Visiting friends around the country
Eating out at my favourite restaurants
Taking holidays
Time that is just mine
To spend finishing my novel
Experimenting with recipes
Watching all the dramas on my list
Exploring my new neighbourhood
Resting, finally
And the possibility of being alone with myself, and liking it
Love, February
PYC
February 10, 2023 at 4:13 PM
Such intermissions exist and I have experience of this, more than one. But it shall pass and makes you more resilient.
Glad that you are out of it 😊
Ally
February 10, 2023 at 6:38 PM
Intermissions are important too. Glad you’re doing better now!
Reply1988 -❣️Mother Bean❣️
February 10, 2023 at 9:11 PM
Congrats, you made it through. Looking forward to hearing about your adventures in this phase😊
Eazal
February 12, 2023 at 1:49 AM
I am so happy you found this job and you can start a life of small pleasures and luxuries.
I’ve been living there for some years and now the only thing I really want is time to do things and time to do nothing. Time is the only thing I wish I could have more.
But sometimes, when I’m sitting in my sofa, like now, spending whole morning going through the beanie wall that I neglected for the last week, I feel like I’m a millionaire enjoying every pleasure in life.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 9, 2023 at 3:29 PM
I think my creative juices flow faster when I should be doing anything else – for instance, I should be doing my volunteer work and prepping for my new job, but all I can think about is the things I want to write!
My brain is best when I\’m writing for pleasure, and I have so many ideas on the go at the moment. Would people want to read a retrospective on Ma Boy and its surprisingly toxic message? A passionate defence of the amnesia trope? A dissection of all the weirdness that was Jealousy Incarnate? Another mega-essay recapping and analysing The Interest of Love?
Whether they want it or not, I\’m writing it!
Love, February
LT is Irresistibly Indifferent and reminded of the slow march of death
February 9, 2023 at 4:00 PM
How about a discussion between you and I on whether the female lead of Shining Inheritance is a Candy….
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 9, 2023 at 4:19 PM
Say the word, and it’s my next priority 💃
LT is Irresistibly Indifferent and reminded of the slow march of death
February 9, 2023 at 4:56 PM
Watch this space
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 8, 2023 at 1:25 PM
The best thing happened just now! I work at a chip shop at the moment (only two weeks left!) and was told I could go early. I ordered some food to take away with me, and while I was waiting I realised I should check the bus timetables. I had just missed one, and the other was coming in five minutes (which is how long it takes to get to that bus stop).
I assumed I would never make it and trudged to the bus stop, annoyed that I would have to wait 40 minutes for the next one. It takes an hour to get home, so it really makes a difference! But not long after I sat down, it came! I’ve never been so grateful for a bus to be late before!
The littlest things can totally flip how your day is going!
Love, February
owl 🦉 🫰
February 8, 2023 at 9:00 PM
It sounds like a My Liberation Notes moment.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 9, 2023 at 3:14 AM
Haha, I can’t say I had a grand epiphany about life afterwards, but it does!
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 9, 2023 at 3:15 AM
I should have counted the seconds it made me happy for, though, that was an oversight for sure.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 7, 2023 at 3:12 PM
I was going to write something silly today, but I found out a few hours ago that someone I\’ve known most of my life has died. My sisters have been distracting me and making me laugh, but now that I\’m alone, I\’m just going to let myself be sad about it.
Love, February
stpauligurl
February 7, 2023 at 3:41 PM
Ah I’m so sorry and I understand the feeling. It’s good to just let yourself feel everything and let it go when it’s time.
I still think of my friend who died the beginning of January…..
Sending you love and hugs from Oregon.
love, February
<<<<>>>>
Kudo Ran
February 7, 2023 at 9:46 PM
My condolences Frab 🙁
Dorotka
February 7, 2023 at 11:55 PM
Hugs 😘
Eazal
February 12, 2023 at 2:47 AM
You have the right to be sad, because losing someone you love, and the idea of never seeing them again is sad. Then you will have time to smile remembering all the good moments, and even laugh when your remember “that time that…”.
Sending you all my love.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 6, 2023 at 3:00 PM
Last night, my best friend called me. She was going up to her hotel room to crash for half an hour before going back downstairs for a company dinner. You see, my friend is currently setting up a massive event in London, working 14 hour days and networking in the evenings. She’s simultaneously having the time of her life and deeply exhausted. I’ve been making an effort to send her a little text of some kind every other day, even though I know she’s too busy to check them regularly, just to let her know I’m her biggest fan and she’s doing great. And last night she called me. She only had half an hour to rest, but she called me, and we chatted like we used to every day at university, about nothing and everything. This is how I know we’re going to be friends for a very long time. This one’s for her!
Love, February
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 5, 2023 at 3:24 PM
I really suffer with the Sunday Blues. Friday and Saturday are limitless, but Sunday is always tainted by the shadow of the impending Monday. So let’s just embrace the melancholy! Why fight it? Blues have a beauty of their own – I’ll listen to some Jannabi, curl up in bed, and finish the blog post I’ve been working on. I refuse to feel like I’m wasting the day away!
Love, February
owl 🦉 🫰
February 5, 2023 at 4:28 PM
Just think of February as 28 shades of blue, like the gorgeous flowing royal robes in Alchemy of Souls~ Monday’s prism of blue on it’s way (try a hooray)!
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 4, 2023 at 2:47 PM
I didn’t like animals before. I could passively appreciate their cuteness, but I didn’t fall at my feet for them the way the people around me did. I was unaffected.
And then almost two years ago, my sister asked for my help – she was adopting a dog, a stray from Serbia, and she needed me to drive her to the motorway services just outside the city to collect him. I was happy to help, but I didn’t expect to feel much for the dog. I was also worried – this puppy had probably been through unspeakable things, would he be aggressive? Standoffish? Impossible to train?
Leo, however, was none of those things.
Leo, perhaps because of what he had been through, immediately cuddled up to all of us, ready for everyone’s love. He was unspeakably lovable from the moment I laid eyes on him, and has become even more so as the layers of his personality have unfolded.
This little puddle of fur, this snuffley truffley piglet, this furry seal cub, has singlehandedly changed how my brain works. I get it now. I get why people treasure their pets, what a comfort they are, how strong the compulsion is to protect them.
And I never want to go back to how it was before!
Love, February
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 4, 2023 at 2:48 PM
Not my first choice for a Leo picture, but it was the first I came across without one of our faces in 😂
bbstl 🧹
February 4, 2023 at 4:18 PM
Awwww, what a snuggly valentine ❤️
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 4, 2023 at 4:32 PM
The only Valentine I want 🥰
SnarkyJellyfish
February 4, 2023 at 6:07 PM
Aww, I’m not a pet person either, but my brother recently took in a stray cat, and we’ve all fallen in love with him. He’s so affectionate and just wants to be petted and be around people all the time. Now I’m looking into adopting a cat when I move to a bigger place.
Cori
February 6, 2023 at 3:43 PM
Awww he’s so cute and looks like the best cuddle buddy ❤️ Animals have a talent for changing hearts haha
Eazal
February 12, 2023 at 3:11 AM
I never thought my life would be much better and happier with a pet. One of the best things in life was to arrive home and being welcomed (or better, scolded, where have I been all day long?) by Catalina when I arrived home. Being a cat’s butler was one of the best things in my life.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 3, 2023 at 3:41 PM
I’ve always been unashamed of the fact that I still rewatch the shows I watched as a child. If I can still tolerate them as an adult, isn’t that just a testament to how good they are?
Charlie and Lola heals my inner child, the little girl who refused to be anything other than herself. The Raggy Dolls makes me feel better about my body. Towser has no right being so funny decades and decades after it was released, but it still makes me laugh. The list goes on.
And then there’s Mumfie.
Funny story, 2020 was the worst year of my life (no big surprise there, but it wasn’t directly because of the Big Terrible Thing). I remember all the times I was happy that year because they struck me by surprise.
Here’s when I was happy:
1. When it was revealed that Masaki Suda (my favourite actor) was playing the villain in MIU 404, which I hadn’t even known he was going to be in.
2. When, about fifteen years after being introduced to it, I finally got to know how Mumfie ended.
You see, we only had two out of three of the video releases, so for my entire life, Mumfie ended on a horrible cliffhanger. I looked for that final video for years, to no avail, and had basically given up on ever finding the last few episodes. But in 2020, someone uploaded the whole series on YouTube, and I finally got my happy ending.
Mumfie is a short and sweet adventure series about a lonely little elephant looking for adventure, who inadvertently befriends lonely people everywhere he goes. Seeing it complete closed a hole in my heart I didn’t know I had, at a time when I had forgotten what happiness feels like.
And today, I gift it to you. If you want it, of course.
Love, February
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
February 3, 2023 at 6:02 PM
I still watch the shows I loved as a child. I distinctly remember being in 3rd grade and LOVING the TV show Ghost Writer. I tied a shoestring around a pen that I wore around my neck and had a notebook dedicated to the mystery of the month. I would go and talk my dad’s ear off about my theories and have vivid fantasies about Tina and Alex.
I still watch episodes from that show at least once every other year. And if you guessed the episodes I rewatch are Alex/Tina heavy you would be right because 30 years later I STILL SHIP THEM. And possibly call people “My little pepperoni pizza” because of Tina in the My Girl Friday mystery. (also the mystery where Alex asked Tina out and she BROKE HIS HEART).
Im glad you finally found the ending to your show. I’m glad it brought you moments of comfort in a terrible year. No one should have a lifetime of horrible cliffhangers. That’s terrible.
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 4, 2023 at 1:37 AM
You know what, I haven’t heard of either of these (not that I expect anyone to have heard of mine, the examples I gave are all very English and some are pretty obscure), but they sound great!
And what is it about the ships we grew up with that we’re still crazy about them today? I’ve always been a fan of romance, so if the show so much as TEASED a love line (most of it was just teasing) them I was there! 😂
Jellybn
February 3, 2023 at 6:10 PM
Oh my, Mumfie!! We used to have one video cassette of this as well. I told my sister-in-law about it and she had no idea what we were talking about. The movie we had feels like a fever dream, but happy to find someone that also watched it!
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 4, 2023 at 1:40 AM
OH MY GOSH! I didn’t expect anyone to know what I was talking about! No one else in my life knows about it – I suspect that it’s because a lot of the things I watched as a child were sort of hand me downs from my parents or older siblings.
Did you ever see the ending as a child?? The show ended with Mumfie and Scarecrow walking into a scary pirate cave as a child, and I had to sit on that cliffhanger for YEARS 😂
Jellybn
February 4, 2023 at 10:05 PM
I was also happy to find someone that knows it! I honestly don’t remember the ending! 😅 But, whoa, that is scary and the wait long! Glad you were able to see the end of it!!🙂
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 2, 2023 at 6:27 AM
I graduated university last July with an unfounded amount of confidence in life’s ability to make the pieces fall into place. Aside from a six-week internship, I had nothing in place and was in no rush to find a full-time job. It’ll work itself out, I thought.
In hindsight, it’s very obvious that I was setting myself up for months of unemployment and crushing disillusionment. Nothing could have prepared me for how depressing, shameful and soul-destroying it is to be a jobseeker, especially when your friends are already assimilating into the adult world in roles you can only envy.
It’s been the second-hardest winter of my life, and by far the loneliest.
But today, strangely and almost comically, everything has worked itself out.
This morning I secured a job that pays very well, that will allow me to do things I’m passionate about inside and outside the office, and that can propel me out of my sister’s house and into the independent life I’ve been desperate to lead. It’s too good to be true, honestly, and I can’t fathom how someone who has only met me once has so much confidence in my abilities. I am humbled, and I am so, so grateful.
So today I’m feeling like I really do
Love,
February.
egads aka Dame Maggie
February 2, 2023 at 6:46 AM
Congratulations!
sirena
February 2, 2023 at 6:47 AM
I’m very happy for you. ♥ I want to wish you all the best!
parkchuna 🍉
February 2, 2023 at 6:53 AM
Congratulations Frabby! Everyone have their own timeline, dont worry about others getting ahead. All the best with your new job!
bbstl 🧹
February 2, 2023 at 7:58 AM
Congratulations, what a great story! All the best in your new job and adventures 👏🏽
Blue (@mayhemf)
February 2, 2023 at 8:58 AM
Glad to hear this! job search can be cruel, but glad you got a job and one you seem to like. You can only connect the dots looking backwards, (like Steve Jobs said) so hoping all the dots are lining up for a bright future! Cheers!
SnarkyJellyfish
February 2, 2023 at 9:57 AM
Congratulations!!
As someone who was in the same position as you once upon a time, I can say that things fall into place the way they need to, even if it’s not on our own timelines. You’re going to be great!
OLakes
February 2, 2023 at 10:31 AM
That is amazing news! Congratulations!
tabong is ironing the crosswalk
February 2, 2023 at 12:06 PM
Congratulations! I’m happy everything worked out. I hope things get better and better for you in the future. ☺️
Eazal
February 2, 2023 at 12:49 PM
Congratulation, Frabs!! You deserve it!
neener ~ Inside the Magic Shop ~
February 2, 2023 at 1:17 PM
Congratulations!!
Linarrick
February 2, 2023 at 2:21 PM
Congratulations! I’ve also had (and still do to some extent) disillusionment. I graduated later than my peers and having a disability finding work has been a struggle, it’s hard not to compare with my friends but we all have our struggles. I’m really happy for you! I hope this new chapter of your life will bring you the joy and independence you deserve!
Ally
February 2, 2023 at 2:35 PM
Congrats on the job!!! You had to have convinced this person of how worthy you are for it. Always be confident of that!
Cocoa, The Fake Poet of February
February 2, 2023 at 2:59 PM
Congratulations! That’s wonderful! 😊
Reply1988 -❣️Mother Bean❣️
February 2, 2023 at 9:34 PM
Congrats on the new job, you have been able to spend unexpected time with your sister and to rest after the stress of studies. Now you have learnt about yourself and endured some tests in confidence you have secured a dream job as your first post grad step into the world of work. Ask around, this is not a story many can tell about their entry into the job market.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
February 2, 2023 at 9:41 PM
Oh my YAY!!! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS! Of course they have confidence you. You are capable of amazing things and you have the degree to prove it!
Kudo Ran
February 7, 2023 at 1:08 PM
congratulations and all the best for this new chapter of your life 🙂 !
frabbycrabsis loves KBS Drama Specials
February 1, 2023 at 1:55 PM
I’ve decided to do Love February this year because I think it will be good for my brain. Do you know what isn’t? TikTok. So as an act of love towards myself, today I’m deleting it.
Love, February
LT is Irresistibly Indifferent and reminded of the slow march of death
February 1, 2023 at 2:23 PM
It’s probably a good idea to Love February. I haven’t loved February since my 2020 Loveless February. It’s good advice probably
RaOnAh loves Jay B 💚
February 1, 2023 at 4:08 PM
Congrats on escaping Tiktok! I’m sure you’ll be much happier without it!