i’m watching alchemy of souls and extraordinary attorney woo! i am also probably going to watch all of ‘in the scoop’ although idk much (or care much) about V but that’s okay; it seems nice.
i actually came on here to check if there are AoS recaps because i know i have paid attn to every episode but idk WHAT the fuck they are talking about sometimes. it is engaging but….not like stellar but actually the story (to me) is more intriguing than the romance. they do have chemistry tho!
i love shin seung ho; he got me to finally finish DP which honestly i fast forwarded through most of the end because THAT SHIT WAS STRESSFUL AS FUCK. but he was really good. won ji an (girl from ep 3) is very hot and so is jung hae in with that fade specifically cos in something in the rain…that wasn’t it.
boring stuff: life is so hard. anyway i moved out of my parents house finally (with one of my best friends and her fucking cat who i irrationally hate), finished editing a feature, got into a fight with said best friend to set boundaries and respect myself, got a second editing gig for a feature for september (same director, we went to film school together!), started to attempt online dating, had a celebration party for my uncle at his studio a year after his death, learned a lot more about science, still getting mad over covid but i have not gotten nor do i plan to get covid even with stupid decision making sometimes, went to a really cool non-religious beautiful wedding in NOLA (AMAZING place!), looked into therapy again, got off more of my meds (woo hoo!)….i’m still american and that’s very sad but what can one do. but i’m still alive. i’m kind of surprised i made it to 30. i’m even more radical than before if u can believe it.
i hope you’re not lonely and staying safe (and cool cos SHIT it is hot). hope you’re doing fabulously right now but if not? it’ll be okay. hang in there the best is yet to come.
Amara!! I’m so glad you seem to be doing well even if life is hard AF!! Sounds like your summer has been busy and I hope you get some time to relax every once in a while!
So good to see you around, seriously it made me smile seeing you here after having a pretty bad day! 💖
hi hi hi!!! how are you? what’s been up? i hope things are okay for you because wow the world! sorry for the late reply—swamped and also i’ve been at my parents because my roommate has covid!
aw i’m glad to hear that i’m sorry you were having a bad day bb 🙁 but i’m glad there was a bright spot
btw your name reminds me i plan to watch my liberation notes—i take it that you liked it?
racket boys or: i had a really bad childhood and it’s nice when kids don’t or have adults to support them when they need to know they aren’t failures because their own caregivers are trash.
or: i have cried every episode and now i’m on episode 15 and i want to die so i wont be finishing it for a month
or: the best thing ever OR how life should be regardless of your identity. fun and loving and worth it
i loved the episode. the mom didnt separate herself into parts to make the decision to become a mother—-she did it as young ja..
our choices are never in a vacuum, no, but all of our different identities and wants and responsibilities make up these choices together not individually at the expense of one another. young ja had the strength to know and trust herself and go through all the possibilities. she had space and no pressure but herself. it isnt that she gave up the game because of all the bullshit; she gave it up because it was her time for her.
she made the choice as a woman, a top athlete, a girlfriend, a person. an informed, true, meaningful, honest choice. theres no right way to be a person except your way and she chose to be a mother, a partner, a coach. and she chooses to take responsibility if one of those things mah not pan out the way she wants it to or in a way that isnt working. She chose. she wasnt forced internally or societally the way that is common and she had other options. it shows a sense of self and is good to model to their kids so they can have a healthy sense of their wants and goals and needs and how to handle what comes. and the way she constructs her life as a working mother? a fun work in progress so her kids can have choices too and maybe one day they wont have kids but they probably will because i feel like healthy children probably want to model their healthy upbringing but their parents wouldnt care either way lmao .
theres a point when hae kang tells his dad “well she may have felt it back then” (not regretitng a sexond) and hyun jong goes “and last night when she told me” which destroyed me. repetition and consistency is key and reinforcing and loving and validating repeatedly is not only just great parenting but just maturity. and they say it and show it. young ja telling hyun jong not to ask hae kang, their 16 year old son, too many questions cracked me up. because it’s so much more emotionally mature and unconditionally loving. lowkey couple goals too! no matter what gender but omg theyre just SO CUTE maybe i will get married to a man (i am not getting married i am pretty sure)
Ah yes, abusive childhoods. young parents are the future tho if they choose to be! Maybe not me im flighty but thats why i dont have kids rn. I WISH I GREW UP LIKE THISSSSS
i was 29 less than 2 months ago and now i act like the concept of my 20s is so far away covid has done WONDERS on my understanding of the time-space continuum
btw re:2125 i am willing to eat my words and concede but i am reacting to the interpretation of what is going onscreen and it being labeled as romance already. i have seen ppl say that it’s more natural in the way that happens all the time. she’s growing up and learning to be a person and experiencing new things like attraction on different levels and it’s easy and confusing and he sees someone and feels a kinship but it most certainly doesn’t have to mean that it’s akin to romance. first of all men and women can be friends and should be allowed to establish that in an ideal world and also feelings of kinship genuinely do not have to turn romantic or even sexual and we shouldn’t devalue other types of love people can share. HOWEVER that’s….not the majority. so. i like that version better because it’s cooler and actually interesting and also…
bc i do have a thing for the trope of like older brother’s best friend thing so the girl has a crush then they get older (NOT AHT HE GOES BACK AND IS LIKE OH I LIKED U GROWING UPC OS THATS SO WEIRD IT’S JUST WEIRDDDDDDD) bc that’s genuinely dream-y and so fucking like…american??? UGH THATS GROSS but i love it so but then on the other hand WHY ON EARTH IS EVERYONE ASKING IF 2125 IS GONNA BE SAD AND END BADLY THEN? it’s ROMANCE and it’s a PANDEMIC please?
we are fickle human beings especially when it comes to media clashing with \”progressive\” values cos the rship of 2125 being pretty much non critiqued online is interesting moreso in terms of the production outside of the power balance issues cos if tae ri was pulling off being an actual high schooler it would be a lot more horrifying (like in goblin. they need tips from each other maybe.)
as it stands since i cant ever not say what i want/am a bitch: it\’s…weird. i\’m not sure if i could ever not judge NJH\’s character over the course. otoh i love himi love her. as in i think they are both hot + them as artistes. i love ~romance~ \”qu**r themes\” (dnt call it that) anarchy + getting over bad experiences so maybe??? but also everyone is talkign abt bad endings and absent dads and shit so?!?!? makjang vibes too? maam…
i actually just came on to say that i am watching racket boys! wanted2 recommend this very unknown show that no one has seen. MC in RB is in 2125. he looks just like jang ki yong and is hot (that is gross 2 say worse now that i\’m 30)
really love the recaps and discussion surrounding it when airing. god it\’s weird being in a pandemic bc i thought this came out in 2019 https://www.dramabeans.com/2021/06/racket-boys-episode-3/
The show demonstrates again how a story can be engaging and fun without any major villains, and having genuinely kind characters does not inherently mean boring. Even In-sol, who gets off on the wrong foot with the boys, is portrayed more as a prickly teen than an outright jerk, and near the end, the show reveals how he enjoys hanging out with friends and being part of a group like anyone else.
human beings suck but we\’re also really amazing. we\’re born with a blank slate and a kindness which is why children are amazing and we love them and it is VERY hard to sustain this train of thought and remember so much that in fiction it\’s hard to conceptualize what a healthy normal life is like even against adversity. it\’s nice to see what life would be like if you had adults and caregivers that cared for you and protected you, listened to you, stood up and modeled for you what a beautiful life can look like, is, how to have friends, hardships, learning to get better and know that losing is ok.
i cant wait to learn more about the couple who decided to not take their lives even though they were intentionally dropped in at a weird time. in a 2125 post ppl called it \”carefree\” and i feel that here. authentic? it takes into account that there\’s a lot of factors into the decisions we have to make but at the core of all of those lies our self and humanity. it\’s not easy but it\’s worth it to keep going. like everything just is and wil continue and to just keep being you
also the main kid being korean-malaysian! that\’s cool
happy new years guys! i mean it\’s almost march but. hey.
there has only been ONE (1) drama that has EVER managed to pull of a non absolutely perma-sideye type of suspicion in a romance with a person who is older* Like That and we all know why it’s weird and that’s high school king prove me wrong but you can’t. i mean maybe you can but i have yet to see it. iconic problematic BANGER
*(and, since it’s not only about a literal number but context that comes with mental and physical changes as you age like your peer groups, schooling, job placement. if this were the US and she were in HS and 18 she’s “legal” but a 23 year old man in her business that is still fucking weird since he either was invited to be in that space or doesn’t need to be there because no 23 year old is willingly hanging out with high schoolers. (i mean we got alcohol from them but that’s why i came out this way so.) contrastly~*~* if i’m 35 and date a 40 year old that’s a completelyyyy diff capacity and our social standings and experiences and 5 years becomes way less of a big deal.)
I thought he was 20 in this and she’s 18. So in international age that would be 16 and 18. I’m seeing it so far as friends and at the end of the 4th episode possibly turning into interest, which I’m hoping they don’t act on at this point, because the age/maturity difference is gross.
here’s hoping. i will have to bite the bullet i feel like and i think i should be (hmm) decently pleased/surprised but i really do not want to go through them not ending up together in the end because i’m a baby.
it’s hard to talk about this because it’s so much easier for us to see it as literal numbers then the complexities of like age and space etc. i think school nurse files does a good job of this type of relationship—there’s a pull and there’s no need to know if it’s a literal attraction (sexual, romantic) but we feel the pull. in the time of the drama NJH’s char, as a young adult, could have normal feelings of wanting to get to know someone and feeling a closeness that doesn’t need to be defined by any romantic feelings for her because he doesn’t need that from her at that specific time nor does it cross his mind. does this make sense? even as a young adult we are very in tune with recognizing boundary violations, it’s just that we ignore them and think that ignorance is ok. the frequency in which this trope pops up means that it isn’t going anywhere (which is telling) but it’s also not honoring the real fact that you can find family and friends and those relationships change over time. many can transcend age, gender, experiences but they all look different. it’s a choice to keep the attraction window open from the side of an experienced-at-life person and i find it especially hilarious bc age is such a huge priority esp in korea where it is linguistically embedded in the language thus making one constantly aware of that status. its’ just weird. i’d say that in the US this storyline would work a lot easier if indeed it was 16/18 in the US bc that means they’re still in the same groups. i went to college when i was 17! idk man but im not judging any1 i just wanna clarify
i had a really uh colorful childhood and i didnt know a lot of stuff but was exposed to things bc i was vulnerable with a fraught home-life and was growing up. thankfully this has never happened to me but you can’t really throw a girl, a person, very far without hitting someone and them saying they knew countless amount of ppl who have had this experience. the idea that you can’t “control” who you like at a certain age is funny to me since life is all about emotion regulation. also just in general it would be good to see that relationships do change and evolve and he didn’t have to like her the moment she started liking him bc that’s a very real teenage reaction and her first time. just bc he is also suffering odesnt mean her existence is a romantic lifeline so im ???? when i see a comment on MDL like he fell in love with her bc it’s SO WEIRD and also whyyyy would it make the love any less legitimate if he grew to love her in a diff way ? who knows! not me 🙂
god i had to take a break because it was soooooo much! i can’t believe that dude from RB is here and hes fuckin 20. ugh time for the urn. and it has! how ya been?
look idk what’s going on here and i try not to look into these idiots personal lives but lmao kim seon ho….there’s something wrong with cis men like fundamentally. we all suck but are they, like, ok? tbh are people in the public eye okay? i barely want to know but now i do and i hope he gets his ass beat. why are men constantly trying to get up in cis women\’s uterus? like? they\’re simply not well.
People either defending the guy or trying to downplay what he did and act like she was in the wrong too while making all shorts of assumptions whole also shamelessly lying through their teeth that no one has actually defended him. Anything but believe the victim despite the fact that the guy himself apologized even though there were only vague rumours.
EXACTLY. especially because he “couldn’t afford” it. and her age. and he gets to live his life and be in the public eye making more money for something he can’t support? that’s on him. they’re mad he got caught and that it looks, and is, nasty. plus his confirmation. jesus christ this poor woman
i cannot tell u how dumb america and this world are but u must know. crew workers might go on strike here. a thing called IATSE is a union for below the line workers (what we are called) that’s from production to post so everyone that is not the “talent” or director or DP essentially. for corona they extended the hours to be “safe” and may have changed the pay but it’s been fucking laborious and they are again putting us in danger and trying to skirt union rules. even for editors those are speaking up because of the turmoil and the work.
people don’t know HOW MUCH goes into this and fuck the rich. i say all this because the kdramas we watch would be NOTHING without the crew absolutely nothing. they deserve everything and more. i wanna watch squid game simply because of the set-up. without us they cannot function and that’s why gorgeous work is there NOT because of the rest. all those things you see, that amazing trailer? thats someone’s fucking work that people don’t have a name for. so respect us pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
anyway what else have u been watching? i watch a lot of leftists on youtube and uh nothing else. well that’s not true lmao i watched some BL (bad) and rewatched inspector jo and cried but i refuse to watch the last ep bc i fucking love that show sfm. rewatched HSK and cried. watched a bunch of eng youtube like i said. uhhhhhhhhhhhh hm
oh. i watched strong woman do bong soon again and let me fuckin tell u the chemistry bettween them is absolutely not enough for how disgusting that fucking show is
YES AND THANK YOU. so many people don’t understand what is going on and are judgemental about it. it’s so hard. we’ve also lost tons of jobs in this industry like others. but it means a lot to hear people even think about solidarity and support. ~we all deserve to live with dignity~*~*~**~ lmao
i’m doing okay. it’s been some rocky months. tired of this pandemic shit and everything else but the past couple of weeks have been super helpful and fruitful.
what about you? how is everyone? hope you’re healthy and staying safe and got at least your jabs.
Had a too much work for clg that I had to finish. I just finished work for my first year the day before. And the second one is starting in just 2 days already 😞
the people we are moving in with or might potentially are like….fancy in a way we arent cos we\’re broke like i\’m bougie and love luxury but i also decided to go into the stupidest career choice and have debt im never paying off (im not worried abt that cos it\’s like whatever atp lmao who cares abt student loan debt yea my loans are the size of a house oh well the government will deal) so 1k/mo out of my current salary is ridiculous out of the question but if there\’s for people in one apt there is 0 reason why 1k/m is reasonable idc what city it is lmao like what the fuck? plus i\’m ot tryna live in a non-diverse area. i\’m seriously thinking of harlem
You’ve reminded me of a room hunting in NYC😭 I’ve finished on Church Avenue in Brooklyn in a really bad room big as a little closet for 600 a month 🤯 with mice keeping me a company. But at least I had a roof over my head for two months where I’ve been feeling safe.
just saw this omg im sorry! long time no talk i hope ur doing well. i am glad you moved out but holy shit. if you’re still in the area i hope ur ok from the floods? it’s been so bad. the housing here…
It was in 2004🤣. I was there on J1 visa – work and travel, although I didn’t travel but deplaced myself 😉. I love NYC but I prefer South America to Northern one – people are different, much closer to my nature. We had kind of dry summer in here although it was mainly cloudy with mild temperatures. I don’t like heat so it was a good summer for me. Did you find your place? How are you adjusting to NY?
have you moved to south america? i wanna visit so bad there’s so much culture and history. i want to go to brazil, colombia, guyana, and trinidad the most because that’s where a lot of my ppl are (lmao black ppl/africans) and i WISH I WISH I WISH i spoke portuguese. also i know a bit about SA politics bc i watch this youtuber badempanada and he does (leftist) videos and stuff and lives in argentina. he has a real love for that region which i think is interesting.
i haven’t found it yet! my best friend and i are going to move and she’s worried about money. in the US my unemployment was taken away (pandemic unemployment) because those who weren’t viable for it before got it for the pandemic and then, even though the pandemic is sitll here, they were like “sike since ur freelancers we’re taking it back now” so i have some money saved but i’m looking for jobs in my area and she wants to be a bit more steady. i’m more optimistic that we can find a place although so much has change, u no?
also re:summer i wish it wasnt an indication of global warming. i CANNOT STAND the heat lmaooooo how hot did it get? here our highest was like 103 but we have so many heat waves then rain.
ok that was long and u probs dont care that much but sry my brain goes so fast
It wasn’t that long! I’m glad that everything is almost fine with you. I’m living in Brittany, France now. I did travel through Patagonia for 3 months 11 years ago – time flies so fast. 😂 Yeah, summer in NY especially in NJ is terrible. When I first came to Newark airport I thought I couldn’t breathe because of the heat and no breeze. I wasn’t far from a panic attack, it took my brain a while to reprogram itself to that weather. I hope all will go well for you although the beginnings are so tough. 🤞
ironically my real life is getting better but my emotional life? lmao. anyways so finding an apt in NYC is awful and i was having such a hard time on these websites. nyc is no longer the most expensive city it’s just up there with all the rest atp. sf, la, boston, dc and i’m sure tx will get up there. hawaii is actually the most expensive place to live period. when i lived in london though i was paying for some old old houses and shit my last place, though needed cleaning, was my fav. i lived in a split level house with 3 other people in the property. we were in the basement, we had a backyard, i had a huge window in my room and i lived with 4 ppl (5 at some point) there was a second bathroom and 2 bedrooms at the top. now like……..modernity wise it wasnt perfect bc mold and england and landlords are trash. but i LOVED that place so fucking much, it was big and so convenient in the shouth which i loved bc diversity. but i never paid more than 900 USD a month to live in my places in LONDON so i was like i KNOW this is ridic. my cousin and his wife live in fucking harlem, have a dog, and a baby on the way and pay like 2.5k/mo for their place there’s nO FUCKING WAY that every single place im looking is this atrocious like i know. and then….i found it. as expected, my senses were right. i am not being shown things at all and the filters are BAD. google google and saw this and thankfuckinggod so it can be helpful and i can figure out a fucking place we can go bc my god. fuck capitalism man
It’s hard isn’t it? Keep looking though something unexpected might turn up. There were some polish newspapers and website were it was easier to spot something cheaper and still decent but it was in 2004😂
so the two of them have obviously liked each other for a long time. trash confesses in ep 11 and gives his reasons why. i get why, though it is a bit overdone in terms of narrative, but it makes sense. regardless of a reason it would have made sense because that’s what happens sometimes when you like someone. no one is obligated to hold on and to answer but it’s very very very clear that everything we saw was cemented through the conversations in the rest of the episode. him being confused about their feelings for each other but not being able to push her away. the reason we like them sm is because of their feelings and interactions.
i found it odd that when hai tai was like “hey i like date rape all of a sudden” that was funny in the recaps and within the drama sphere but not alarming. on the other hand, trash being spurred on by a “rival” who is not a rival at all is also…normal. people are weird. it’s obvious they like each other. i saw that people were saying that they built chilbong up and made us connect with him to the detriment of trash. i cannot see how. chilbong is there as an extra boarder, a friend, and in the ensemble cast as the ensemble. but his life centers around her instead of the others. we see from her POV so the less she is in contact with him, the less he is shown since she is HIS STORY for a dumb reason
and we dont get growth and we NEVER see her return feelings and i think that’s important because….in a lot of these shows they dont and the second lead goes full steam ahead. and it’s just like….what is a girl supposed to fucking do? everyone is allowed to pine but it depends on who the audience wants to see do it and the reasons behind it. if cb wasn’t super good looking maybe it would have turned out differently idk but the point is that through the process it seems like what najung wants and does doesnt matter and is at the whim of men supposedly when every step of the way it’s mostly her doing what she wants. trash isn’t an oppressive figure and we seeeee consistently his respect for her. my fav part is when she gets extremely upset at him insinuating she should stay at home and work bc that was realistic and it is painful and a ping to your pride if you are the type of girl who studied hard and stood on her own feet just to not do things she wants to do bc of an econ crisis u kno
he wasn’t doing it to be misogynist or patriarchal (for the most part—he didn’t think before about how insulting that would be and how that would make her feel because he was putting their finances and stability first albeit his mind is clouded by how a man grows up bc…socialization) and then when he tells her he can stay at home, it doesn’t matter who as long as they’re ok….i was so happy. my fav parts of the rship and the show is that they are true people. the whole condom fiasco was HILARIOUS and it made me glad that they didnt demonize it.
soooo the date rape thing was a shitty thing, the double date and the girl is “Fat and ugly” i hated. and the one time that i think there was too much of a rush—though this is also cultural and listne sorry i just can’t get it. it’s the same with a lot of countries in the global south and kind of the same for nigerians but i just refuse to rush ever and idek if im getting married lmao i just want a longterm mans—and he was insecure about not seeing her. that i think was stupid just in a life course way, in a why the fuck are you so insecure way (and he can be! it makes sense! she was extremely upset when he moved for that reason; she also gets jealous) but i was glad still esp bc she wnated him to propose as seen by his horrific previous gift bc he cares abt her back
another thing….their issues arose and it was never because of outsiders. long distance is hard she was in fucking australia, he’s dong doctor shit as an internship, the economy is upside fucking down and there’s om uch shit happening. life got in the way—it became more important to live their lives separately which is good and great i love the time they spend apart because that’s, again, life and it’s good to be your own person (the best part about them, too!) and that struggle.
i’ve been watching most of it in whole scenes as opposed to skipping around like i suu do when i wanna see my friends but quickly. i keep forgetting what a deep world that was created. i don’t um love these writers i guess but the cast and crew knocked it out of the park. r94 to me is by far the best and a great decision. and their chemistry was amazing but what makes me even happier is that they had a good time and were friends while working. we can believe they love each other and have the capacity to IRL, but it’s so wonderful when you can do your craft and be this other person who can be in love but IRL you make your choices. that’s how it should be imo and less people should date on shoots I M O
this is truly go ara’s best perfomance and i fucking WISH I WISH SOOOOO BADLY she will get someone that brings out more in her like with this show and jung woo….sigh
anyway so i\’ve been watching things (nothing new) obvs i wanna see DAYS cos those are my bitches. i have been rooting for them since day one. i love SIG (and im glad he and his gf broke up shes a lil 2 yung) and i love his spirit and what he chooses AND i love how he didnt go to the army. I LOVE DRAFT DODGERS 😉
but yea he and PBY….me and a friend of mine literally were fancasting bc HSK and OMG had come out around hte same time (made by the same person too) and we were like WHAT IF: TOGETHER. because im dealing with grief tho and lmao cancer (5 ppl on my dad\’s side had it including dad, one on my mom\’s side……..so yea we have to get gene testing isnt that nice) it\’s a lot.
i have been rewatching r94. now that was 8 years ago. let me tell you abt me as a wee lass-slash-adult….i realize i don\’t have to give a shit what people think about my thoughts but it doesnt invalidate them. back in 2013 i was like \”what if i\’m wrong? why do i love this show?\” and going back through the recaps…
1. the show was good; it was slice of life and always focused on na-jung. r97 had a major pitfall imo when sig\’s char is pining after her for literally like most of the show and htey get ~3 eps together and it seemed very reluctant at times (they had chemistry and they kissed cutely remember when ppl freaked out cos eunji was like…ive kissed someone b4 like duh? lmao but i mean combatively between them) and yelled so. the show also had a major flaw in the loveline with the useless brother. so that show is actually, to me, less enjoyable. because r88 was a clusterfuck imo i stay away
2. going through the recaps you would think trash fucking murdered someone like holy shit the love for chilbong was (is?) astronomical but he isn\’t anything, she doesn\’t like him like….at all. and he\’s annoying. typical second lead—not quite sure how people had fallen so fast
3. i don\’t think a lot of people have had a crush or been in relationships
4. just like…not understanding production
but most importantly
#5
to make myself feel better im rewatching and i love najung and trash my lil babies my otp 4evah<3 so to see the comments in the recaps is hilarious. people were so fucking sure and at the time i was terrified (that\'s one o fmy few complaints the possibility of what if it could change but it wouldnt have bc…she loves trash) and it\'s hilarious to see all the like intense dislike and protection over chilbong but not paying attn to the show or who na jung likes or wants in her life. na jung\'s character\'s romance didn\'t become central to the plot at the expense of the writing (imo) because that\'s….the point of the show. slice of life and loving is part of it. that\'s what 97 and 88 are based on as well. confused about that but regardless it\'s just hilarious to read back cos people were mad mad and they were like if they end up togehter ill hate it! well bitch they did LMAO shoulda known back from ep 1 I LOVE IT HAHAHHAHAHHAH it\'s so fucking funny. my god
i…don\’t know what to say. i haven\’t been through this much pain because of grief in forever. before he died, he looked just like my grandfather. as crazy as my family makes/made me, my grandpa was the one who didn\’t have to say anything and got me. even if he, too, drove me nuts sometimes. when he died, my bulimia went into a tailspin but i wasn\’t able to process this at 21. i had returned from a 6 month study abroad in paris, absolutely loathed it, and previously i had gone insane at home and i had to go basically and when i came back….my grandpa waited to see me then died the next day.
my uncle….there\’s no words to describe. he was a really prolific photographer, like a very famous one, but he was just this dude. who got a lot of us young kids, who was a gen x-er as opposed to a boomer, who was an artist. who was deeply insecure and had to prove himself and he always did. because i\’m 29, because i saw him deteriorate, because because because it\’s too much. i don\’t want to grieve like this anymore.
i have been helping my aunt with his studio and orders of his products (his prints, sk8board decks with his photos, post-cards, etc) and getting things in order. before he died….my bro, me, and my cousin saw him in his studio in the beginning of may. he said: you can come here, you can shoot (film) here, you should do youtube, you can do anything.
i\’m so mad at myself and him and the world because he should have stayed. he\’s so fucking loved. why did this happen? thank you for all your condolences and i\’m so sorry to people that have had this happen, too. thankfully my (maternal) aunt can get help hopefully. her diagnosis was terminal but she\’s still here; we thought my uncle would go into the hospital, get surgery, come out. things are getting better but also worse. too much.
I’m really sorry for your loss.
Life is unfair sometimes, some people go before their time and the ones who are left behind have to learn how to deal with it. I can’t say it will be easier, only that you will learn to live with that void in your soul. I firmly believe that as long as you remember him, talk about him, share the stories about him and laugh when you think he would have laughed, he will always be by your side, living in your heart and taking care of you.
🕯️I hope you can make a nice farewell to your uncle. Life is a like a fish – when you finally think you got it in your hands it slips away and disappears. Not for everybody so I hope you catch your fish and hold onto it.
amara
August 7, 2022 at 11:52 AM
i’m watching alchemy of souls and extraordinary attorney woo! i am also probably going to watch all of ‘in the scoop’ although idk much (or care much) about V but that’s okay; it seems nice.
i actually came on here to check if there are AoS recaps because i know i have paid attn to every episode but idk WHAT the fuck they are talking about sometimes. it is engaging but….not like stellar but actually the story (to me) is more intriguing than the romance. they do have chemistry tho!
i love shin seung ho; he got me to finally finish DP which honestly i fast forwarded through most of the end because THAT SHIT WAS STRESSFUL AS FUCK. but he was really good. won ji an (girl from ep 3) is very hot and so is jung hae in with that fade specifically cos in something in the rain…that wasn’t it.
boring stuff: life is so hard. anyway i moved out of my parents house finally (with one of my best friends and her fucking cat who i irrationally hate), finished editing a feature, got into a fight with said best friend to set boundaries and respect myself, got a second editing gig for a feature for september (same director, we went to film school together!), started to attempt online dating, had a celebration party for my uncle at his studio a year after his death, learned a lot more about science, still getting mad over covid but i have not gotten nor do i plan to get covid even with stupid decision making sometimes, went to a really cool non-religious beautiful wedding in NOLA (AMAZING place!), looked into therapy again, got off more of my meds (woo hoo!)….i’m still american and that’s very sad but what can one do. but i’m still alive. i’m kind of surprised i made it to 30. i’m even more radical than before if u can believe it.
i hope you’re not lonely and staying safe (and cool cos SHIT it is hot). hope you’re doing fabulously right now but if not? it’ll be okay. hang in there the best is yet to come.
mindy
August 7, 2022 at 1:28 PM
Amara!! I’m so glad you seem to be doing well even if life is hard AF!! Sounds like your summer has been busy and I hope you get some time to relax every once in a while!
So good to see you around, seriously it made me smile seeing you here after having a pretty bad day! 💖
amara
August 20, 2022 at 1:27 PM
hi hi hi!!! how are you? what’s been up? i hope things are okay for you because wow the world! sorry for the late reply—swamped and also i’ve been at my parents because my roommate has covid!
aw i’m glad to hear that i’m sorry you were having a bad day bb 🙁 but i’m glad there was a bright spot
btw your name reminds me i plan to watch my liberation notes—i take it that you liked it?
astromantic
September 8, 2022 at 11:27 PM
i haven’t been on db in ages but thought to check back and wow i missed our conversations and you! i’m glad you’re doing well ❤
amara
March 1, 2022 at 12:56 PM
racket boys or: i had a really bad childhood and it’s nice when kids don’t or have adults to support them when they need to know they aren’t failures because their own caregivers are trash.
or: i have cried every episode and now i’m on episode 15 and i want to die so i wont be finishing it for a month
or: the best thing ever OR how life should be regardless of your identity. fun and loving and worth it
amara
February 23, 2022 at 7:00 PM
amara
February 23, 2022 at 6:54 PM
i loved the episode. the mom didnt separate herself into parts to make the decision to become a mother—-she did it as young ja..
our choices are never in a vacuum, no, but all of our different identities and wants and responsibilities make up these choices together not individually at the expense of one another. young ja had the strength to know and trust herself and go through all the possibilities. she had space and no pressure but herself. it isnt that she gave up the game because of all the bullshit; she gave it up because it was her time for her.
she made the choice as a woman, a top athlete, a girlfriend, a person. an informed, true, meaningful, honest choice. theres no right way to be a person except your way and she chose to be a mother, a partner, a coach. and she chooses to take responsibility if one of those things mah not pan out the way she wants it to or in a way that isnt working. She chose. she wasnt forced internally or societally the way that is common and she had other options. it shows a sense of self and is good to model to their kids so they can have a healthy sense of their wants and goals and needs and how to handle what comes. and the way she constructs her life as a working mother? a fun work in progress so her kids can have choices too and maybe one day they wont have kids but they probably will because i feel like healthy children probably want to model their healthy upbringing but their parents wouldnt care either way lmao .
theres a point when hae kang tells his dad “well she may have felt it back then” (not regretitng a sexond) and hyun jong goes “and last night when she told me” which destroyed me. repetition and consistency is key and reinforcing and loving and validating repeatedly is not only just great parenting but just maturity. and they say it and show it. young ja telling hyun jong not to ask hae kang, their 16 year old son, too many questions cracked me up. because it’s so much more emotionally mature and unconditionally loving. lowkey couple goals too! no matter what gender but omg theyre just SO CUTE maybe i will get married to a man (i am not getting married i am pretty sure)
Ah yes, abusive childhoods. young parents are the future tho if they choose to be! Maybe not me im flighty but thats why i dont have kids rn. I WISH I GREW UP LIKE THISSSSS
https://www.dramabeans.com/2021/06/racket-boys-episode-3/
amara
February 21, 2022 at 10:33 PM
i was 29 less than 2 months ago and now i act like the concept of my 20s is so far away covid has done WONDERS on my understanding of the time-space continuum
amara
February 21, 2022 at 10:24 PM
btw re:2125 i am willing to eat my words and concede but i am reacting to the interpretation of what is going onscreen and it being labeled as romance already. i have seen ppl say that it’s more natural in the way that happens all the time. she’s growing up and learning to be a person and experiencing new things like attraction on different levels and it’s easy and confusing and he sees someone and feels a kinship but it most certainly doesn’t have to mean that it’s akin to romance. first of all men and women can be friends and should be allowed to establish that in an ideal world and also feelings of kinship genuinely do not have to turn romantic or even sexual and we shouldn’t devalue other types of love people can share. HOWEVER that’s….not the majority. so. i like that version better because it’s cooler and actually interesting and also…
bc i do have a thing for the trope of like older brother’s best friend thing so the girl has a crush then they get older (NOT AHT HE GOES BACK AND IS LIKE OH I LIKED U GROWING UPC OS THATS SO WEIRD IT’S JUST WEIRDDDDDDD) bc that’s genuinely dream-y and so fucking like…american??? UGH THATS GROSS but i love it so but then on the other hand WHY ON EARTH IS EVERYONE ASKING IF 2125 IS GONNA BE SAD AND END BADLY THEN? it’s ROMANCE and it’s a PANDEMIC please?
im so …this feeling
amara
February 21, 2022 at 9:50 PM
we are fickle human beings especially when it comes to media clashing with \”progressive\” values cos the rship of 2125 being pretty much non critiqued online is interesting moreso in terms of the production outside of the power balance issues cos if tae ri was pulling off being an actual high schooler it would be a lot more horrifying (like in goblin. they need tips from each other maybe.)
as it stands since i cant ever not say what i want/am a bitch: it\’s…weird. i\’m not sure if i could ever not judge NJH\’s character over the course. otoh i love himi love her. as in i think they are both hot + them as artistes. i love ~romance~ \”qu**r themes\” (dnt call it that) anarchy + getting over bad experiences so maybe??? but also everyone is talkign abt bad endings and absent dads and shit so?!?!? makjang vibes too? maam…
i actually just came on to say that i am watching racket boys! wanted2 recommend this very unknown show that no one has seen. MC in RB is in 2125. he looks just like jang ki yong and is hot (that is gross 2 say worse now that i\’m 30)
really love the recaps and discussion surrounding it when airing. god it\’s weird being in a pandemic bc i thought this came out in 2019 https://www.dramabeans.com/2021/06/racket-boys-episode-3/
The show demonstrates again how a story can be engaging and fun without any major villains, and having genuinely kind characters does not inherently mean boring. Even In-sol, who gets off on the wrong foot with the boys, is portrayed more as a prickly teen than an outright jerk, and near the end, the show reveals how he enjoys hanging out with friends and being part of a group like anyone else.
human beings suck but we\’re also really amazing. we\’re born with a blank slate and a kindness which is why children are amazing and we love them and it is VERY hard to sustain this train of thought and remember so much that in fiction it\’s hard to conceptualize what a healthy normal life is like even against adversity. it\’s nice to see what life would be like if you had adults and caregivers that cared for you and protected you, listened to you, stood up and modeled for you what a beautiful life can look like, is, how to have friends, hardships, learning to get better and know that losing is ok.
i cant wait to learn more about the couple who decided to not take their lives even though they were intentionally dropped in at a weird time. in a 2125 post ppl called it \”carefree\” and i feel that here. authentic? it takes into account that there\’s a lot of factors into the decisions we have to make but at the core of all of those lies our self and humanity. it\’s not easy but it\’s worth it to keep going. like everything just is and wil continue and to just keep being you
also the main kid being korean-malaysian! that\’s cool
happy new years guys! i mean it\’s almost march but. hey.
amara
February 21, 2022 at 10:05 PM
there has only been ONE (1) drama that has EVER managed to pull of a non absolutely perma-sideye type of suspicion in a romance with a person who is older* Like That and we all know why it’s weird and that’s high school king prove me wrong but you can’t. i mean maybe you can but i have yet to see it. iconic problematic BANGER
*(and, since it’s not only about a literal number but context that comes with mental and physical changes as you age like your peer groups, schooling, job placement. if this were the US and she were in HS and 18 she’s “legal” but a 23 year old man in her business that is still fucking weird since he either was invited to be in that space or doesn’t need to be there because no 23 year old is willingly hanging out with high schoolers. (i mean we got alcohol from them but that’s why i came out this way so.) contrastly~*~* if i’m 35 and date a 40 year old that’s a completelyyyy diff capacity and our social standings and experiences and 5 years becomes way less of a big deal.)
mugyuljoie is preciousss
February 22, 2022 at 12:15 AM
I thought he was 20 in this and she’s 18. So in international age that would be 16 and 18. I’m seeing it so far as friends and at the end of the 4th episode possibly turning into interest, which I’m hoping they don’t act on at this point, because the age/maturity difference is gross.
amara
February 22, 2022 at 11:13 AM
here’s hoping. i will have to bite the bullet i feel like and i think i should be (hmm) decently pleased/surprised but i really do not want to go through them not ending up together in the end because i’m a baby.
it’s hard to talk about this because it’s so much easier for us to see it as literal numbers then the complexities of like age and space etc. i think school nurse files does a good job of this type of relationship—there’s a pull and there’s no need to know if it’s a literal attraction (sexual, romantic) but we feel the pull. in the time of the drama NJH’s char, as a young adult, could have normal feelings of wanting to get to know someone and feeling a closeness that doesn’t need to be defined by any romantic feelings for her because he doesn’t need that from her at that specific time nor does it cross his mind. does this make sense? even as a young adult we are very in tune with recognizing boundary violations, it’s just that we ignore them and think that ignorance is ok. the frequency in which this trope pops up means that it isn’t going anywhere (which is telling) but it’s also not honoring the real fact that you can find family and friends and those relationships change over time. many can transcend age, gender, experiences but they all look different. it’s a choice to keep the attraction window open from the side of an experienced-at-life person and i find it especially hilarious bc age is such a huge priority esp in korea where it is linguistically embedded in the language thus making one constantly aware of that status. its’ just weird. i’d say that in the US this storyline would work a lot easier if indeed it was 16/18 in the US bc that means they’re still in the same groups. i went to college when i was 17! idk man but im not judging any1 i just wanna clarify
amara
February 22, 2022 at 11:20 AM
i had a really uh colorful childhood and i didnt know a lot of stuff but was exposed to things bc i was vulnerable with a fraught home-life and was growing up. thankfully this has never happened to me but you can’t really throw a girl, a person, very far without hitting someone and them saying they knew countless amount of ppl who have had this experience. the idea that you can’t “control” who you like at a certain age is funny to me since life is all about emotion regulation. also just in general it would be good to see that relationships do change and evolve and he didn’t have to like her the moment she started liking him bc that’s a very real teenage reaction and her first time. just bc he is also suffering odesnt mean her existence is a romantic lifeline so im ???? when i see a comment on MDL like he fell in love with her bc it’s SO WEIRD and also whyyyy would it make the love any less legitimate if he grew to love her in a diff way ? who knows! not me 🙂
amara
February 21, 2022 at 10:13 PM
Comment was deleted
mugyuljoie is preciousss
February 22, 2022 at 12:15 AM
I loved Racket Boys! Happy New Year! It’s been while.
amara
February 22, 2022 at 11:22 AM
god i had to take a break because it was soooooo much! i can’t believe that dude from RB is here and hes fuckin 20. ugh time for the urn. and it has! how ya been?
mugyuljoie is preciousss
February 22, 2022 at 8:46 PM
Too busy to watch much K-drama, sadly.
amara
February 23, 2022 at 5:57 PM
school/work? i feel you man, same 🙁 it’s been crazy. hope you’re staying safe tho !!!
amara
October 23, 2021 at 11:39 AM
look idk what’s going on here and i try not to look into these idiots personal lives but lmao kim seon ho….there’s something wrong with cis men like fundamentally. we all suck but are they, like, ok? tbh are people in the public eye okay? i barely want to know but now i do and i hope he gets his ass beat. why are men constantly trying to get up in cis women\’s uterus? like? they\’re simply not well.
amruta1009
October 23, 2021 at 12:47 PM
People either defending the guy or trying to downplay what he did and act like she was in the wrong too while making all shorts of assumptions whole also shamelessly lying through their teeth that no one has actually defended him. Anything but believe the victim despite the fact that the guy himself apologized even though there were only vague rumours.
amara
October 23, 2021 at 1:39 PM
EXACTLY. especially because he “couldn’t afford” it. and her age. and he gets to live his life and be in the public eye making more money for something he can’t support? that’s on him. they’re mad he got caught and that it looks, and is, nasty. plus his confirmation. jesus christ this poor woman
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:22 AM
i cannot tell u how dumb america and this world are but u must know. crew workers might go on strike here. a thing called IATSE is a union for below the line workers (what we are called) that’s from production to post so everyone that is not the “talent” or director or DP essentially. for corona they extended the hours to be “safe” and may have changed the pay but it’s been fucking laborious and they are again putting us in danger and trying to skirt union rules. even for editors those are speaking up because of the turmoil and the work.
people don’t know HOW MUCH goes into this and fuck the rich. i say all this because the kdramas we watch would be NOTHING without the crew absolutely nothing. they deserve everything and more. i wanna watch squid game simply because of the set-up. without us they cannot function and that’s why gorgeous work is there NOT because of the rest. all those things you see, that amazing trailer? thats someone’s fucking work that people don’t have a name for. so respect us pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
anyway what else have u been watching? i watch a lot of leftists on youtube and uh nothing else. well that’s not true lmao i watched some BL (bad) and rewatched inspector jo and cried but i refuse to watch the last ep bc i fucking love that show sfm. rewatched HSK and cried. watched a bunch of eng youtube like i said. uhhhhhhhhhhhh hm
oh. i watched strong woman do bong soon again and let me fuckin tell u the chemistry bettween them is absolutely not enough for how disgusting that fucking show is
ladynightshade wants her own ryu sunjae
September 27, 2021 at 10:48 AM
All power to the workers. They deserve so much better and it’s appalling how most countries treat them.
amara
September 27, 2021 at 2:00 PM
YES AND THANK YOU. so many people don’t understand what is going on and are judgemental about it. it’s so hard. we’ve also lost tons of jobs in this industry like others. but it means a lot to hear people even think about solidarity and support. ~we all deserve to live with dignity~*~*~**~ lmao
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM
me looking at namgoong il even tho i don\’t perceive him: damn daddy u fine as hell i hope yr wallet got condoms in it (cardi b, proverbs)
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM
i mean i’m the age that he likes soooooooooooooooooooooooooo. hey.
amara
September 9, 2021 at 3:42 PM
amara
September 9, 2021 at 3:41 PM
lol
sup
LT is Irresistibly Indifferent and reminded of the slow march of death
September 9, 2021 at 5:15 PM
amara, it’s so good to see you. How are you travelling?
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:00 AM
i’m doing okay. it’s been some rocky months. tired of this pandemic shit and everything else but the past couple of weeks have been super helpful and fruitful.
what about you? how is everyone? hope you’re healthy and staying safe and got at least your jabs.
mugyuljoie is preciousss
September 9, 2021 at 8:49 PM
What’ve you been up to?
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:01 AM
not much ! looking for jobs, being mad at the world, doing some art! haven’t watched much. what about u?
mugyuljoie is preciousss
September 28, 2021 at 2:01 AM
Too busy to watch much.
amruta1009
September 10, 2021 at 6:37 AM
Hey 👋 Good to see you again.
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:01 AM
hru bb
amruta1009
October 1, 2021 at 5:34 PM
Had a too much work for clg that I had to finish. I just finished work for my first year the day before. And the second one is starting in just 2 days already 😞
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:26 AM
the people we are moving in with or might potentially are like….fancy in a way we arent cos we\’re broke like i\’m bougie and love luxury but i also decided to go into the stupidest career choice and have debt im never paying off (im not worried abt that cos it\’s like whatever atp lmao who cares abt student loan debt yea my loans are the size of a house oh well the government will deal) so 1k/mo out of my current salary is ridiculous out of the question but if there\’s for people in one apt there is 0 reason why 1k/m is reasonable idc what city it is lmao like what the fuck? plus i\’m ot tryna live in a non-diverse area. i\’m seriously thinking of harlem
BC
June 4, 2021 at 6:24 PM
You’ve reminded me of a room hunting in NYC😭 I’ve finished on Church Avenue in Brooklyn in a really bad room big as a little closet for 600 a month 🤯 with mice keeping me a company. But at least I had a roof over my head for two months where I’ve been feeling safe.
amara
September 9, 2021 at 3:42 PM
just saw this omg im sorry! long time no talk i hope ur doing well. i am glad you moved out but holy shit. if you’re still in the area i hope ur ok from the floods? it’s been so bad. the housing here…
BC
September 15, 2021 at 5:43 AM
It was in 2004🤣. I was there on J1 visa – work and travel, although I didn’t travel but deplaced myself 😉. I love NYC but I prefer South America to Northern one – people are different, much closer to my nature. We had kind of dry summer in here although it was mainly cloudy with mild temperatures. I don’t like heat so it was a good summer for me. Did you find your place? How are you adjusting to NY?
amara
September 27, 2021 at 10:09 AM
have you moved to south america? i wanna visit so bad there’s so much culture and history. i want to go to brazil, colombia, guyana, and trinidad the most because that’s where a lot of my ppl are (lmao black ppl/africans) and i WISH I WISH I WISH i spoke portuguese. also i know a bit about SA politics bc i watch this youtuber badempanada and he does (leftist) videos and stuff and lives in argentina. he has a real love for that region which i think is interesting.
i haven’t found it yet! my best friend and i are going to move and she’s worried about money. in the US my unemployment was taken away (pandemic unemployment) because those who weren’t viable for it before got it for the pandemic and then, even though the pandemic is sitll here, they were like “sike since ur freelancers we’re taking it back now” so i have some money saved but i’m looking for jobs in my area and she wants to be a bit more steady. i’m more optimistic that we can find a place although so much has change, u no?
also re:summer i wish it wasnt an indication of global warming. i CANNOT STAND the heat lmaooooo how hot did it get? here our highest was like 103 but we have so many heat waves then rain.
ok that was long and u probs dont care that much but sry my brain goes so fast
BC
October 2, 2021 at 9:13 PM
It wasn’t that long! I’m glad that everything is almost fine with you. I’m living in Brittany, France now. I did travel through Patagonia for 3 months 11 years ago – time flies so fast. 😂 Yeah, summer in NY especially in NJ is terrible. When I first came to Newark airport I thought I couldn’t breathe because of the heat and no breeze. I wasn’t far from a panic attack, it took my brain a while to reprogram itself to that weather. I hope all will go well for you although the beginnings are so tough. 🤞
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:23 AM
ironically my real life is getting better but my emotional life? lmao. anyways so finding an apt in NYC is awful and i was having such a hard time on these websites. nyc is no longer the most expensive city it’s just up there with all the rest atp. sf, la, boston, dc and i’m sure tx will get up there. hawaii is actually the most expensive place to live period. when i lived in london though i was paying for some old old houses and shit my last place, though needed cleaning, was my fav. i lived in a split level house with 3 other people in the property. we were in the basement, we had a backyard, i had a huge window in my room and i lived with 4 ppl (5 at some point) there was a second bathroom and 2 bedrooms at the top. now like……..modernity wise it wasnt perfect bc mold and england and landlords are trash. but i LOVED that place so fucking much, it was big and so convenient in the shouth which i loved bc diversity. but i never paid more than 900 USD a month to live in my places in LONDON so i was like i KNOW this is ridic. my cousin and his wife live in fucking harlem, have a dog, and a baby on the way and pay like 2.5k/mo for their place there’s nO FUCKING WAY that every single place im looking is this atrocious like i know. and then….i found it. as expected, my senses were right. i am not being shown things at all and the filters are BAD. google google and saw this and thankfuckinggod so it can be helpful and i can figure out a fucking place we can go bc my god. fuck capitalism man
https://cityobservatory.org/a-field-guide-to-median-rent-statistics-contd/
BC
June 4, 2021 at 6:30 PM
It’s hard isn’t it? Keep looking though something unexpected might turn up. There were some polish newspapers and website were it was easier to spot something cheaper and still decent but it was in 2004😂
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:04 AM
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:02 AM
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:01 AM
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:00 AM
r94 THOTS in this thread
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:10 AM
so the two of them have obviously liked each other for a long time. trash confesses in ep 11 and gives his reasons why. i get why, though it is a bit overdone in terms of narrative, but it makes sense. regardless of a reason it would have made sense because that’s what happens sometimes when you like someone. no one is obligated to hold on and to answer but it’s very very very clear that everything we saw was cemented through the conversations in the rest of the episode. him being confused about their feelings for each other but not being able to push her away. the reason we like them sm is because of their feelings and interactions.
i found it odd that when hai tai was like “hey i like date rape all of a sudden” that was funny in the recaps and within the drama sphere but not alarming. on the other hand, trash being spurred on by a “rival” who is not a rival at all is also…normal. people are weird. it’s obvious they like each other. i saw that people were saying that they built chilbong up and made us connect with him to the detriment of trash. i cannot see how. chilbong is there as an extra boarder, a friend, and in the ensemble cast as the ensemble. but his life centers around her instead of the others. we see from her POV so the less she is in contact with him, the less he is shown since she is HIS STORY for a dumb reason
and we dont get growth and we NEVER see her return feelings and i think that’s important because….in a lot of these shows they dont and the second lead goes full steam ahead. and it’s just like….what is a girl supposed to fucking do? everyone is allowed to pine but it depends on who the audience wants to see do it and the reasons behind it. if cb wasn’t super good looking maybe it would have turned out differently idk but the point is that through the process it seems like what najung wants and does doesnt matter and is at the whim of men supposedly when every step of the way it’s mostly her doing what she wants. trash isn’t an oppressive figure and we seeeee consistently his respect for her. my fav part is when she gets extremely upset at him insinuating she should stay at home and work bc that was realistic and it is painful and a ping to your pride if you are the type of girl who studied hard and stood on her own feet just to not do things she wants to do bc of an econ crisis u kno
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:16 AM
he wasn’t doing it to be misogynist or patriarchal (for the most part—he didn’t think before about how insulting that would be and how that would make her feel because he was putting their finances and stability first albeit his mind is clouded by how a man grows up bc…socialization) and then when he tells her he can stay at home, it doesn’t matter who as long as they’re ok….i was so happy. my fav parts of the rship and the show is that they are true people. the whole condom fiasco was HILARIOUS and it made me glad that they didnt demonize it.
soooo the date rape thing was a shitty thing, the double date and the girl is “Fat and ugly” i hated. and the one time that i think there was too much of a rush—though this is also cultural and listne sorry i just can’t get it. it’s the same with a lot of countries in the global south and kind of the same for nigerians but i just refuse to rush ever and idek if im getting married lmao i just want a longterm mans—and he was insecure about not seeing her. that i think was stupid just in a life course way, in a why the fuck are you so insecure way (and he can be! it makes sense! she was extremely upset when he moved for that reason; she also gets jealous) but i was glad still esp bc she wnated him to propose as seen by his horrific previous gift bc he cares abt her back
another thing….their issues arose and it was never because of outsiders. long distance is hard she was in fucking australia, he’s dong doctor shit as an internship, the economy is upside fucking down and there’s om uch shit happening. life got in the way—it became more important to live their lives separately which is good and great i love the time they spend apart because that’s, again, life and it’s good to be your own person (the best part about them, too!) and that struggle.
i’ve been watching most of it in whole scenes as opposed to skipping around like i suu do when i wanna see my friends but quickly. i keep forgetting what a deep world that was created. i don’t um love these writers i guess but the cast and crew knocked it out of the park. r94 to me is by far the best and a great decision. and their chemistry was amazing but what makes me even happier is that they had a good time and were friends while working. we can believe they love each other and have the capacity to IRL, but it’s so wonderful when you can do your craft and be this other person who can be in love but IRL you make your choices. that’s how it should be imo and less people should date on shoots I M O
this is truly go ara’s best perfomance and i fucking WISH I WISH SOOOOO BADLY she will get someone that brings out more in her like with this show and jung woo….sigh
amara
June 4, 2021 at 10:59 AM
anyway so i\’ve been watching things (nothing new) obvs i wanna see DAYS cos those are my bitches. i have been rooting for them since day one. i love SIG (and im glad he and his gf broke up shes a lil 2 yung) and i love his spirit and what he chooses AND i love how he didnt go to the army. I LOVE DRAFT DODGERS 😉
but yea he and PBY….me and a friend of mine literally were fancasting bc HSK and OMG had come out around hte same time (made by the same person too) and we were like WHAT IF: TOGETHER. because im dealing with grief tho and lmao cancer (5 ppl on my dad\’s side had it including dad, one on my mom\’s side……..so yea we have to get gene testing isnt that nice) it\’s a lot.
i have been rewatching r94. now that was 8 years ago. let me tell you abt me as a wee lass-slash-adult….i realize i don\’t have to give a shit what people think about my thoughts but it doesnt invalidate them. back in 2013 i was like \”what if i\’m wrong? why do i love this show?\” and going back through the recaps…
1. the show was good; it was slice of life and always focused on na-jung. r97 had a major pitfall imo when sig\’s char is pining after her for literally like most of the show and htey get ~3 eps together and it seemed very reluctant at times (they had chemistry and they kissed cutely remember when ppl freaked out cos eunji was like…ive kissed someone b4 like duh? lmao but i mean combatively between them) and yelled so. the show also had a major flaw in the loveline with the useless brother. so that show is actually, to me, less enjoyable. because r88 was a clusterfuck imo i stay away
2. going through the recaps you would think trash fucking murdered someone like holy shit the love for chilbong was (is?) astronomical but he isn\’t anything, she doesn\’t like him like….at all. and he\’s annoying. typical second lead—not quite sure how people had fallen so fast
3. i don\’t think a lot of people have had a crush or been in relationships
4. just like…not understanding production
but most importantly
#5
to make myself feel better im rewatching and i love najung and trash my lil babies my otp 4evah<3 so to see the comments in the recaps is hilarious. people were so fucking sure and at the time i was terrified (that\'s one o fmy few complaints the possibility of what if it could change but it wouldnt have bc…she loves trash) and it\'s hilarious to see all the like intense dislike and protection over chilbong but not paying attn to the show or who na jung likes or wants in her life. na jung\'s character\'s romance didn\'t become central to the plot at the expense of the writing (imo) because that\'s….the point of the show. slice of life and loving is part of it. that\'s what 97 and 88 are based on as well. confused about that but regardless it\'s just hilarious to read back cos people were mad mad and they were like if they end up togehter ill hate it! well bitch they did LMAO shoulda known back from ep 1 I LOVE IT HAHAHHAHAHHAH it\'s so fucking funny. my god
amara
June 4, 2021 at 10:51 AM
i…don\’t know what to say. i haven\’t been through this much pain because of grief in forever. before he died, he looked just like my grandfather. as crazy as my family makes/made me, my grandpa was the one who didn\’t have to say anything and got me. even if he, too, drove me nuts sometimes. when he died, my bulimia went into a tailspin but i wasn\’t able to process this at 21. i had returned from a 6 month study abroad in paris, absolutely loathed it, and previously i had gone insane at home and i had to go basically and when i came back….my grandpa waited to see me then died the next day.
my uncle….there\’s no words to describe. he was a really prolific photographer, like a very famous one, but he was just this dude. who got a lot of us young kids, who was a gen x-er as opposed to a boomer, who was an artist. who was deeply insecure and had to prove himself and he always did. because i\’m 29, because i saw him deteriorate, because because because it\’s too much. i don\’t want to grieve like this anymore.
i have been helping my aunt with his studio and orders of his products (his prints, sk8board decks with his photos, post-cards, etc) and getting things in order. before he died….my bro, me, and my cousin saw him in his studio in the beginning of may. he said: you can come here, you can shoot (film) here, you should do youtube, you can do anything.
i\’m so mad at myself and him and the world because he should have stayed. he\’s so fucking loved. why did this happen? thank you for all your condolences and i\’m so sorry to people that have had this happen, too. thankfully my (maternal) aunt can get help hopefully. her diagnosis was terminal but she\’s still here; we thought my uncle would go into the hospital, get surgery, come out. things are getting better but also worse. too much.
wapz
June 4, 2021 at 11:08 AM
May your uncle RIP amara and you feel better soon.
amara
June 4, 2021 at 11:17 AM
thank you sm 🙂 hope ur doing ok
Eazal
June 4, 2021 at 1:04 PM
I’m really sorry for your loss.
Life is unfair sometimes, some people go before their time and the ones who are left behind have to learn how to deal with it. I can’t say it will be easier, only that you will learn to live with that void in your soul. I firmly believe that as long as you remember him, talk about him, share the stories about him and laugh when you think he would have laughed, he will always be by your side, living in your heart and taking care of you.
amara
June 4, 2021 at 2:04 PM
hi eazal thank you so much for this comment. i am saving it. it’s really hard to remember but this is helpful. thank you. he is here.
BC
June 4, 2021 at 6:37 PM
You’ve written it so nicely. Thank you for those words!
sirena
June 4, 2021 at 1:04 PM
I am sorry for your loss.
BC
June 4, 2021 at 7:07 PM
🕯️I hope you can make a nice farewell to your uncle. Life is a like a fish – when you finally think you got it in your hands it slips away and disappears. Not for everybody so I hope you catch your fish and hold onto it.
MeloMe
June 5, 2021 at 12:23 AM
I’m sorry for your loss amara. Hoping you feel better soon and find the answers you are looking for.