TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME: Final Essay 🍀
18/01/24

Beanmelons rescinded. Well, not entirely. But most of them. I thought this might happen.

This is the opening line of the show.

It is a common narrative technique, to start your story, be it film, television, novel, play, et al, with an idea, a proposition, that is also the end point of the story, where the story is going to end up.

Therefore, the objective of the story becomes to show how and why this proposition comes to pass.

It’s a bold narrative move, because you reveal your cards early.
If you reveal your ending at the beginning, you must justify that being your ending in everything you are about to do and show, in every part of the story, the storytelling process, and in every storytelling device.

Everything must be so wholly and truly working towards this goal, that by the time you give your audience this ending, it feels inevitable that this was the ending, that this was always intended point, and this was, in some respects, the only point possible to have reached. Reaching that point should be rewarding or cathartic in some way.

It doesn’t have to be “happy”, but it must make sense, and it must be satisfying in how we got there.

This is, in fact, true for all stories, but in my opinion even more so if you use this opening technique, because you are by default limiting your narrative options.

The only other possible option is to deliberately reject this proposition.

If rejecting the proposition, when that wasn’t deliberate, or some other theme of the show somehow becomes more inevitable, more necessary, if Something Else becomes more True, than the ending you have already revealed… you have failed your task, and failed to reach your goal.

—

The opening line of the show, as previously quoted, is the show’s proposition.

First it expresses doubt over love between two people who are “too” different.
Second, it expresses that a tragic ending must be inevitable for these two people, implying that the differences become irreconcilable.
Then the narrator expresses doubt over this and says well, even if that is true, it is better to love anyway.

I agree with the last statement. It is better to love than to never love at all (see: here and here). But the narrator only expresses this within the frame of reference of that love eventually becoming hate.

The motto itself seems confused. In the example scenario given, it’s not even that these two are two different that is really the focus, but that being different will end in hate. Similarly, it’s not “love in spite of” that is the focus, but the “until” that given emphasis.

So, for this show to justify this being its opening line, it must now go out of its way to show that the differences between the leads are irreconcilable, and that it will also end in hate, whilst also trying to balance that with the idea of Love, even if it is temporary, being an ultimately good thing.

—

The reason I have always felt unsure of loving this show, always felt a lurking sense of foreboding, or some impending narrative direction that I knew I would hate, is because of this opening line and because I immediately felt it was confused and would be hard to deliver on well.

But more specifically, it is because after it announced this statement as its opening line, the show then spent the next 10 to 12 episodes doing a quite frankly better and sounder job of telling a story about Communication, about the different forms of communication, about wanting to overcome great obstacles and differences and fears, about the nuances of communication and language and form and semantics, with positivity and strength and hope, than it did telling a story of how we might reach this joint ending-opening point in any kind of satisfying way.

For every hint of dissonance, and temporality, for every line about transience and things being lost or passing, for every lurking shadow of doubt, that pointed back to the proposition, there was a direct thematic idea in contradiction to it, that spoke of overcoming this, of facing conflict and becoming stronger for it, becoming stronger together for it, of growing from scars and past hurt, and of pursuing things and choosing to love even when it is hard.

So the proposition and rejecting the proposition were in competition against each other, and the latter, was narratively stronger and more true than the former.

One can have deliberately conflicting thematic points, and this can be a good thing, for example: if one eventually wins out over the other, or if their juxtaposition serves to shed light onto something.

But, instead of spending time building towards any clear end goal – for the claim, or against it, or doing anything with this contradiction, by having the stronger one mean something, or balancing that tension, either between thematic ideas, or in the initial motto itself – this show spent more time building a kind of thematic ambiguity, so much so that it was entirely possible for this show to swing either in direct opposition to its opening point, just as much as it was possible for it to swing back on it.

—

And then they break up, and the 8th last line of the show is its opening line, confirming my suspicions that to reject the proposition was never going to be its point, that it really meant to end up here all along.

But we have not got here in a way that this felt earnt, and justified. The show has not spent its whole being reaching this point, proving that this, this is how it was supposed to be, as it must, as it should’ve, if it was going to reveal its cards like that at the beginning. And it has not used its contrasting themes to help prove this point either.

And even in ending up here, it then actually ends, not WITH this, but AFTER this; instead of with the opening line as its ultimate final point, it concludes with two other moments that don’t feel wholly satisfying for either possible ending- either the hopeful, overcoming, or the bittersweet one.

Jinwoo introduces himself again, and Moeun smiles, and then we cut to credits.
And over the credits our leads walk hand in hand down their train track and at the end of the end, the end after the end, Jinwoo finally says in voiceover, in echo of the show’s title, “I love you, Moeun”; he finally confesses.

But this too feels like a false ending.

The show’s title is TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME, but its proposition is something entirely different. And Jinwoo never tells Moeun that he loves her to her person, but he says her name out loud, in the only spoken line he has in the entire show, to nobody, in heartbreak after their break up.

For a show about Communication, it feels cheap to have the leads break up due to a breakdown in communication, in the name of some Other Theme that was not shown to be any stronger than this.

But if they get back together without us seeing them overcoming this breakdown, this conflict, then you have not only denied them their bittersweet ending, that you initially chose for them, no matter how unjustified that has been, you have also denied them true development for a happy ending – for the ending that could’ve instead rejected the proposition on purpose.

There can be no whole or satisfying bittersweet ending, and there can be no whole or satisfying happy ending either.

You have only given your audience false propositions, and false promises, and false endings.

1. In being ambiguous in body, instead of picking an end goal and dedicating itself to reaching that goal, thus betraying its beginning.
2. In not balancing its contradicting themes to reach or support that end goal.
3. In its contrary themes becoming stronger and truer than any other intentional theme.
4. In the ending denying either the original claim, or the rejection of the original claim to be the true ending, satisfying the ambiguity, and nothing else.

And I do not know why. And I am left disappointed, but somehow not surprised, and not as heartbroken either as I initially thought I would be, just let down.
I am left wondering if you really intended to end with or meant the opening point at all, such was the ambiguity, but to make ambiguity itself the point betrays too much else to be a rational conclusion, such was the rest of the show’s thematic core.

Because so much of you was Right and True and Beautiful.

But in the end, you have only proven yourself to be False.

🍀

OTHER:

1. There was never any follow up from how her family reacted to her dating Jinwoo, except for her mother commenting about his mother. Her parents never met him again or go to know him again, and there was never a conversation between the siblings about Modam’s reaction, or any exploration of this. I felt this was a disservice to how the show had explored the nuances of how people react to Jinwoo and deaf people before, for this to remain undeveloped.
2. I felt also that Seo Kyung was used for too long as a device to fascilitate the leads’ breakdown in relationship, and not long enough was spent on how she actually overcame the issues between her and Jinwoo. I didn’t hate her, I longed for her to find the closure and forgiveness she was seeking, but it was disappointing that a show that do so many things against the grain had to rely on the stale Second Lead trope to get between the leads. This only contributed to the feeling that no matter how intentional, the show never truly justified this as a narrative direction.
3. Similarly, the show could’ve done with MORE Jiyu and Modam in the last quarter specifically (there was a week where had no screen time at all.)
4. I also felt that his murals deserved more attention in the thematic development of the last quarter, more than just showing the painting of Moeun from the back from when he first was captivated by her. I am not sure why, I just felt like those paintings held a lot of power and meaning and it was never capitalised on to their true potential. Much like a lot of the show.

THINGS I LOVED:

1. The acting overall was fantastic.

2. Kihyun for Best Friend Forever Award.

3. His students were a delight. Him WITH his students were a delight. The time jump was cruel in light of this. Spinoff about the students with less inconsistent writing when, please.

4. I loved the directing of this show, and all the artistic technical elements – cinematography, art direction, sound design, colour grading, music (it is no secret I still adore the OST) etc. – it was truly a beautiful show in that regard, and it was like a warm hug, and I think this was the reason it was my comfort watch so consistently till about episode 11.

5. One way in which it achieved this so well was the emphasis the show placed on natural greens; the leads were often wearing pale pastel or dark olive greens and the environments were often shot and based around deep natural evergreens and browns and whatever plants or nature was in the frame, despite being predominantly set in the city. When a character needed to stand out or stand in conflict, they would be dressed in red or black. This made for very pleasing and comfortable viewing and contributed to both the themes of comfort, and the natural and soothing tone that the rest of the show sought after and delivered upon.

6. I especially liked the way that this show used and emphasised the different senses and forms of communication, with the above film techniques, to help tell its story about those specific things.
Increasing the volume of the foley and background noises and sounds – steps, cars, rain, wind, trees, etc. The decision and placement of voiceovers. Not translating the sign language at different points to immerse the audience in the difficulty of understanding and communicating. How you can listen without hearing. How you can hear without listening. How some non-deaf characters spoke when signing and some didn’t. Moeun being an actress and Jinwoo an artist, the (traditionally) spoken and visual arts. Johan being a music producer and song writer, vs Jinwoo’s ability to only understand not enjoy music. The way the OST itself emphasised these themes, and the way the show would often have no music at all, and no talking, to draw attention to sign language and the emotion on people’s faces. The way the different characters and actors bought their personality and acting to HOW they signed, in the same way one would when speaking a verbal language. Seo Kyung’s was neat and elegant and efficient, with clean lines and movements. Moeun’s softer. Jinwoo’s dynamic and emotive, and JWS would always lean into it and use his facial expressions a lot. Kihyun’s awkward still but somehow embodying his inherent kindness, his wife’s humorous and welcoming, the students with their slang and all their different vibrant personalities, (and casting Baek Sung Cheol as college Jinwoo, who in Inspector Koo played a mute character who never had any spoken lines.)
And, aND, AND-

I once read someone who described handwriting as the written version of your accent or personal voice. And I have always really liked that, that unless you are trying intentionally to be perfectly formal, your personality will come out in your writing. Like a fingerprint but for handwriting. The way you speak will be unique to you because of your vocal cords. The way you sign will be unique to you because of how you move and emote. And writing systems themselves are visual representations of languages, not languages themselves.
The way you write your ps, if you write them one or two or three ways, the way you flick your rs or giyeok, the way you link your letters, is like a part of your personal individual written voice, a representation of you. Obviously, there are formal ways of writing and styles that are popular, but your personal fingerprint will be on how you write no matter what.

And in the same way that every person in this show signed in a different way, and naturally peaks in a different way, this show also used writing as another means of communication.
First, digitally.
But second, whenever someone would HANDWRITE what they wanted to say, the show would have their handwritten text appear on the screen, and it would change font, change handwriting, depending on who was writing.

The little boy next door hand his written word expressed in his child like hand. Jinwoo’s was his artist’s scrawl. Etc. Etc.

And it was THIS part of the show I LOVED and fell in love with it for! This attention to detail, this awareness of language and communication and writing and meaning and person, in making these character feel alive and real and individual and natural, in how they speak and how they react.

And that made the disappointment, although honestly, I am not as distraught as I thought I would be in an earlier recap, that much keener nonetheless, because it got all these details RIGHT and the potential was so rich and at times so clear.

In fact, it is because of this detail of the written word echoing personal voice, that as a writer, and an artist, and someone into calligraphy and handwriting and linguistics as well, I was saddened that the shows approach to written word as a powerful form of communication in its own right (stories!!!!!! writing systems!!!!!) did not take this itself a step farther, and rather seemed to neglect the written word and even somehow at times look down on it, as a means of clearing up miscommunication, for example, between two people who are struggling with more “vocal” forms (signing, lipreading and speaking), … or even just explore in more depth writing itself as a form of communication to add yet another layer to its tapestry of art, and acting, and stage, and sound, and music, and speaking and signing, and listening and hearing. Might as well go the whole way and delve farther into sight and word and touch and smell. Might as well have made the show TRULY and wholly about that… and not its ambiguity, false developments and false propositions…

*࿔࿐✩˚₊‧🍀‧₊˚✩࿐ ࿔*

total word count: 2925