Family by Choice: Episodes 9-10
by starrygazer
Even though the boys and their stories have been the main focus of our show so far, it’s nice to see our female protagonist coming into her own after the time jump. Will our three musketeers be able to build bridges and reconcile? Not sure about you, but I’m sitting here with my cuppa wrapped in a blanket ready to find out.
EPISODES 9-10
After accidentally letting their departure out of the bag last week, our boys have very telling exit storylines. First of all San-ha’s departure focuses on Joo-won. Managing to upset her, San-ha tells Joo-won he has “responsibilities” — that’s why he’s leaving — leading her to surmise that she isn’t one of them. Whoops. Joo-won is avoiding the boys as much as she can after this conversation; she’s really hurt that they’re leaving. And when San-ha eventually catches up to her, she is scarfing four cakes at her favorite bakery. Haha – girl after my own heart. *Pausing to go grab some cake*
A very sincere and emotional San-ha promises Joo-won that when he returns after college that he will never leave again. It’s a touching scene and Joo-won believes him. Not only is Joo-won taking this hard, but both of our dads are too, drinking and bickering with each other like the old married couple they should be haha. It broke my heart a little when San-ha explained to his dad (Dad Kim), that he is leaving because his mother keeps trying to commit suicide. Dad Kim understands San-ha’s point, but he’s worried about San-ha shouldering all of that responsibility alone.
Hae-joon’s exit storyline brings him together with Dal. Finally! Dal has liked Hae-joon for a while now but he is too naive to notice. In a cute “saving Dal from a football to the face” moment, Dal seems to fallen even more for Hae-joon (and just before he leaves for America). Hae-joon is so sweet when seeing her off, I feel bad for her wailing on the side of the road. (But it was a teeny bit funny.)
Of course Dad Yoon and Hae-joon make me cry again (multiple times) — every week these actors bring their “A” game and I just can’t handle it. It turns out that Hae-joon plays basketball because of Dad Yoon encouraging him when he was young. He’s such a sweet kid, and this just highlights the bond between them. Dad Yoon tries to get through to Hae-joon before he leaves, telling him he just wants Hae-joon to be happy and he can come home at any time. But Hae-joon wants to come back successful; will he listen to Dad Yoon?
The time jump is very nicely shown through Joo-won’s longing for the return of her “brothers.” Joo-won has come to accept that both boys would return after college. And we see her slowly lose her spark with every passing birthday, and a dwindling contact between the three of them as the years roll on. Now in the present day, Joo-won avoids her birthday altogether and concentrates on running her bakery. (Side note: it’s cutely called Daldal.) And talk about turning a passion into a job — good for you Joo-won. *High fives the air*
Dal lets Joo-won know that someone warned her that there has been a weirdo lurking around the bakery. Joo-won, as fearless as ever, doesn’t seem too bothered until she goes into her store and the lurker is inside. After a comical altercation between Joo-won and said weirdo, they end up in the police station. Our weirdo turns out to be Hae-joon – haha! And Joo-won, unlike our two dads, is not pleased to see him. Then San-ha rocks up to the police station after visiting the bakery and seeing the mess to find everyone there.
The best thing about the family gathered at the police station was the detective trying to make sense of who was related to whom – meanwhile Joo-won is adamant the boys are strangers. It seems that Hae-joon had been doing his military service after dropping out of college and giving up basketball. Wow, I’m intrigued to know more about what happened to Hae-joon – but he could have picked a better way to say hello. Haha.
Sitting down for a tense meal, the dads are thrilled and our three musketeers are not quite sure where to start. Joo-won is angry and hurt even after ten years (!) have passed and the boys have relayed very little about their time away from home. The boys say they are back for good, and Joo-won confides in Dal that she thought she would be happy about this but it’s just awkward. She intends to avoid them.
Good luck with that Joo-won, because can you believe who now lives next door to the girls (who share an apartment)? That’s right — it’s San-ha, who is now in medical school, and a seemingly down-on-his-luck and half- naked Hae-joon. (Dal’s squeal and half-hiding her eyes at Hae-joon’s lack of clothes made me laugh.) Joo-won gives Hae-joon her card to buy some sneakers (because he looks like a hobo haha), and while he’s out and about he’s also shopping for property to buy Dad Yoon a bigger restaurant. Just what did happen with Hae-joon?
We get a little bit of an answer to that question at Joo-won’s birthday meal with the family. After putting Hae-joon on the spot about not contacting them for five years, San-ha tells the family that Hae-joon got seriously hurt and had to give up basketball. Hae-joon had called San-ha because he thought he would never walk again and he still needs to be careful. The two dads and Joo-won are understandably upset, and not being informed about this adds fuel to Joo-won’s feelings of being left out.
Get the tissues ready because Dad Yoon and Hae-joon are at it again. Ugly crying will commence when you see Dad Yoon take Hae-joon’s hand and tell him that he should have come home. Dad Yoon continues that he told him not to overdo it, and just do what he wanted to do and enjoy it. “You worked hard. My son has grown so much.” My heartstrings can’t take these two every week; it’s wholesome yet sad at the same time.
Hae-joon’s story finishes this week with Joo-won’s birthday meal at her shop with her friends. There are familiar faces from high school, some welcome and one definitely not haha. After a lot of booze, Hae-joon evacuates everyone from the bakery — he clearly senses Joo-won’s disappointment at San-ha being held up at work. And there is a little flirting between Hae-joon and Dal over some hangover soup the next day. Please get together you two!!
For the moment, we don’t know an awful lot about what has happened to San-ha over the last ten years either. San-ha’s mum is in a wheelchair currently and So-hee is in high school. It seems mum is still trying to pressure San-ha at every turn, so I doubt we’ve heard the last of her. San-ha is working at the local hospital with the boy that liked Joo-won in high school (who he pumps for information on Joo-won) and Hae-joon’s ex from high school who was a bit of a mean girl in previous episodes. I think she’s just there to stir things up, to be honest.
But it’s very clear that San-ha has come back for Joo-won, taking every opportunity he can to see her and buy her things. Joo-won isn’t very acceptant of these gestures, but she doesn’t understand the intention behind them. Yet. During the last scene, San-ha learns Joo-won is going on a date and he’s in a rush to stop her. My jaw was nearly on the floor when he just blurted out he likes her, and has for ten years. That was (kind of) unexpected. I thought San-ha would chicken out! It will be a shock to Joo-won’s system — I wonder how she will take it?
There is still a shroud of mystery when it comes to what happened to our boys in the decade they were away. Hae-joon’s Real Dad hasn’t been mentioned yet, so where is he? Teenage So-hee seems to be on San-ha’s side when it comes to his mum’s manipulative behavior, but how bad has it been? Will San-ha have the willpower not to go back to his mum? There are a lot of gaps from the boys’ pasts to be filled, and a lot of scope for the budding romances to flourish.
Joo-won still has her sparkle, but she is marred by her hurt. If she can let go of that and accept her old family for who they are now, things could get very interesting. It feels like the high school part of the drama was setting the scene for the meaty storylines to come, and I’m definitely here for it.
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Tags: Bae Hyun-sung, Choi Moo-sung, Choi Won-young, Family by Choice, Hwang In-yub, Jung Chae-yeon
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1 Kafiyah Bello
November 8, 2024 at 10:12 AM
I too was surprised he just blurted out that he likes her, very unexpected. I was like Ohhhh, hmmmm. I'm glad there doesn't seem to be a love triangle, plus I'm rooting for Dal. If Hae Joon is what she wants, that is what I want for her.
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Elinor, Team Glasses team co-captain
November 8, 2024 at 10:27 AM
San-ha’s sudden determination not to keep secrets about his feelings for Ju-won, as well as about Hae-joon’s injury, wouldn’t seem like such a personality shift if we’d had ten years to see it develop - but he has seen the effects of his and his siblings’ refusal to communicate in the past and, however awkward it is, he’s not going to let more misunderstandings happen this time. (And there are also the show’s expository needs.) I think a lot of San-ha’s infill story can easily be guessed - World’s Most Damaged (and Damaging) Mom, etc. - but I find myself more interested in finding out what’s behind Hae-joon’s absence now. That innocent, open look has become a mask. He's still dumb as a rock about girls' feelings, though.
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Kafiyah Bello
November 8, 2024 at 11:43 AM
Re your last sentence, lol, right. He is so dumb and his oblivious reaction to his effect on Dal is very funny.
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Seon-ha
November 9, 2024 at 10:49 AM
Let's have some "she falls first, but he falls harder" for those two. Can you imagine a Hae-joon in love?? Dal would/will be the center of the universe for him!!
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Kafiyah Bello
November 9, 2024 at 2:07 PM
I cannot wait and I really want this to happen.
hallyucinations
November 10, 2024 at 11:14 PM
Its obvious that behind with his mom has been very tough for Sanha and he is clearly worried that he may have missed the bus with Juwon. That would explain why he blurted out his confession after the gap of 10 years. It does not explain why he did not stay in touch though. Like if you have harboured your crush so seriously over the years, would you not stay in touch?
Super relieved that they are not going with the triangle here. Sanha's feeling seem a little more acceptable than if Hae-joon developed them. They stayed like brother and sister in the same house for god sake!
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Kafiyah Bello
November 11, 2024 at 5:34 AM
He didn't come see her, but he did text, she just ignored them. He said that.
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2 tabong is ironing the crosswalk
November 8, 2024 at 10:31 AM
I don't know if the problems I had with these episodes (and many choices in this show) come from cultural differences, from weird decisions to make everything dramatic and move the plot or if this show is just going for a completely different direction of what I was expecting.
1. I thought that the separation was there to prove that no matter what, they always have and will choose to be a family. But I got the opposite idea after watching these episodes. It's like the show was trying to prove the opposite.
I felt as if that sad statement Ju Won did about they never being a real family and her being the only delulu one claiming that they were, was completely right. I felt so bad for her.
Everything started with PO dad letting San Ah move with his abusive mom who's in a really dangerous mental state after the accident.
Same kid who's also entering college to study medicine... ? Why would you let your kid do that? He's not even an adult yet, he doesn't even know what he's talking about because dude couldn't imagine what it would be to "take care" of her.
Plus, his mom treats him like trash? And she's having a crisis? You know what your son could've seen there? More of what she was trying to do in the hospital. Hello?!!!
His dad could've at least tried to move back to Seoul to be with his son, to protect and help him? Instead of sending him straight to her house? Like, what kind of life did he expect for his son to have there?
Did ahjussi ever go to Seoul to see what was his son dealing with? How was he handling his studies and being the caretaker of his mom? Plus, raising his sis? wtf was that ahjussi doing for ten years while his son was trapped there.
San Ah wouldn't have had to suffer all that if his dad had acted like a real dad and not like "the guy who let's his son crash and burn all alone because he'll be legal soon" or wtv dumb reason he had to let a 19yo make such a choice.
*deep breath*
On another San Ah note, I think the crush after 10 years, makes sense here.
I don't think he had time to get over her and into any other girl while he was living such mess in Seoul. Plus, if we go by the women we have seen in the show, Ju Won pretty much the only one he knows (who isn't a psycho and/or related by blood)?
And that also makes me think that during the first time jump it seemed like he grew up a little too fast, so maybe in this jump he grew up a little too slow.
He has this idea that Ju Won hasn't changed at all. The way he told HJ "I'll talk to her" as if he still can say the same three magic words from ten years ago and make Ju Won smile and be all right like a child... I feel like I'm watching the same San Ah from 10 years ago... Same for Hae Jun.
The only one who felt like a more mature version of herself was Ju Won.
Anyway, I guess the time jump and separation (or should I actually credit this to SA's mom neverending villain era?) as the necessary plot device to make the...
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tabong is ironing the crosswalk
November 8, 2024 at 10:33 AM
...the romance kinda work. Now that they ruined Ju Won's idea of what family is, and she grew a bit distant she definitely doesn't see SA as a her oppa (as in bro) anymore.
2. And then, oh boy...
This could be a cultural difference, but I believe your parent/(pa)maternal figure is the person you go to when you get hurt to the point where you may never walk again. At least when you have a relationship like these two had (if they had a bad relationship it's another story. I'm no San Ah).
I was expecting chef dad to ask HJ if he didn't consider him his father. After having the accident, surgery, rehabilitation and dropping out, dude, who else was he supposed to call? He was alone in a foreign country, so who was there for him? Junggo/Yun Ho?
Oh, and coming back after ten years to buy a restaurant? Who cares about that?
Kid, you completely destroyed your dad's heart by "telling" him that he's unreliable and that you don't trust him enough or need his comfort.
You didn't ask for his help. You didn't complain or cry. You didn't give him his place in your life. His place as your father, the one person who has and will always care for you. Wtf is the use of buying him a restaurant now? He already has one! Hello??!!!
You made him think you were dead or missing. You made him hear from a sperm-donor-like-dad that he should leave you alone. You missed at least five of his birthdays and father's day.
You didn't let him complain with you about your sis, you didn't ask him how his health was. You didn't let him tell you to eat well and scold you for not taking care of yourself.
You came back to the country at least two years ago since you already did your military service. And you didn't even let him see your face once...
You just proved that everyone was right. You're someone else's child.
Maybe that's why chef dad didn't even feel the right to complain or ask anything... if he really made his dad feel that, then...
New story I'm gonna use every time my mom gets annoyed with me. The "at least I'm not a murderer" it's getting old.
PS. I felt so bad for Ju Won in those birthday scenes. Especially in the one birthday when random people came to her business to get drunk and ask for her "oppas" and make her cook and clean their mess. It wasn't one bit funny.
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Elinor, Team Glasses team co-captain
November 8, 2024 at 10:43 AM
Awww, the birthday scenes are heartbreaking.
Yeah, these two episodes were bound to be bumpy as we get over a 10-year hump, but some of the ways that’s being handled are a bit lame. Not gonna lie, I find the 10-year absence on San-ha’s part also completely non-credible. He’s a train ride away. Hae-joon’s is a little more understandable, but the failure to contact Noodle Dad is a terrible betrayal and the ridiculous lurking-in-hoodie business hit me as more foolish than funny.
We are to understand that Hae-joon has some money - the restaurant, 'designer' rubber slippers, expensively casual clothes. I wonder if Sperm Donor Dad is dead?
Also (unrelated): it seemed clear to me that the boys intentionally moved into down the hall from the girls so they would be neighbors. Did I miss something?
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tabong is ironing the crosswalk
November 8, 2024 at 1:14 PM
I think dad would've heard the news of SDD's passing. Hae Jun's evil stepmom would've call him to tell him "take your kid back and do not touch my money".
Yeah. But I think it's only San Ah. Hae Jun's plan is to move back with dad.
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Kafiyah Bello
November 8, 2024 at 11:46 AM
I too felt so bad for Ju Won, she was clearly completely heartbroken. Her love for her "found" family was so deep, and I don't think anyone else realized it. Her bitterness is understandable.
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tabong is ironing the crosswalk
November 8, 2024 at 1:18 PM
I felt so bad for her. She deserved better than that.
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3 Kurama
November 8, 2024 at 10:41 AM
I understand Joo-won's feelings, they came back in her life and their daddies' one like 10 years didn't happen. They can't expect her to be the same young sister when they lived their own life.
The dads are always the better person. They don't care about anything except the happiness of their kids.
I wasn't expecting the confession so soon, it was quite abrupt. Not his feelings, he always showed there was more but he just came back, he doesn't really know the new Joo-won.
I'm not sure to understand the changes of the original story.. We will see.
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4 Miss_elly
November 8, 2024 at 1:43 PM
I completely understand juwon’s emotions. She was a lonely child before her “brothers” came into her life, and she loved having a family. But she knew they weren’t blood related so they could leave at any time and she would be alone again. to her, the two people she loved most up and left her with out a backward glance realising her worst fears. Yes they kept in contact for a few years but then ghosted her and the fathers for all intents and purposes. Now they show up 10 years later and act like nothing has happened of course he is pissed off. I would be too. The boys know they f’d up and are trying to make it up to her but I don’t think they realised how much they have hurt her. So let them fret over her anger and apathy for a bit longer. We all know she will forgive them and hopefully make them work for it. I’m glad the writers didn’t make her forgive them right away. And San ha has some balls showing up after 10 years and goes “I like you go out with me “ to a girl who is angry and feeling betrayed
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5 Britney
November 8, 2024 at 2:18 PM
I'm confused about Hae Jun's re entry into the story. Why be a creeper for a week and then break in? How did they make it all the way to the station without him taking off his hood? Why did he break the glass? What was the plan for reaching for the towel in the first place?
I assume that Hae Jun got alot of money from his birth father for whatever reason so he [Hae Jun] is laid back about his appearance cause he already knows he has money. It's still weird though; you haven't seen these people in a decade and haven't contacted them in half that time and he chose to appear as a bum that everyone gossips about AND in the same breath say he wants to be good to them? It's just weird to me. Even as someone who doesn't particularly care about other people, it feels odd.
Not sure what to think about San Ha & his mom. It seems as if he's transferred to the hospital to be closer to his family/Joo Won yet his mother & sister keep saying he's on vacation.
There doesn't seem to be a love triangle! Scream it from the rooftops!!! I just want all the lovely scenes between Hae Jun & dad. They are precious together and I think they might be a highlight of this show for me. If Hae Jun and Dal end up together, that would be nice but it would be nicer if it was after they spent more time together.
The secret admirer/first date guy is weirdly more obnoxious/unappealing post time jump haha. Interesting what just pushing his hair back does haha
Even if/when Joo Won & San Ha get together, I wish all 3 of them could be close like they were when they were younger. Whatever new, adult version of that is.
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6 latebloomer
November 8, 2024 at 2:43 PM
I really don't like how the time skip was handled. I really have a hard time believing that the two young men who received so much love from this family would never come to visit over the course of 10 years and would eventually stop getting in touch. And then just show up one day and expect to return to the same family-like relationships. That is just a stupid premise. People who care about each other find a way to see each other, or at least to keep texting. I'm especially ticked off about San-ha, who supposedly was so preoccupied with his mom and med school that he couldn't bother to reach out to the love of his life, who saved him from depression when he was a kid and has been the only girl for him ever since. How do you care that much about someone but ghost them for 10 years, and then show up and blurt out your confession? It just makes no sense at all.
This story started out with great performances from the child actors. It continued to shine even through the ridiculous amount of melo from the moms because of the emphasis on the family relationships between the two dads, San-ha, Hae-jun, and Ju-won, with Dal to balance things out. But the writers missed a major beat this week. They were so busy repositioning everyone and setting up the adult romances that they didn't bother to write a backstory that fit these characters. Really disappointing.
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bong-soo
November 8, 2024 at 3:15 PM
Apparently both boys were infected with the dreaded Noble Idiocy virus while away.
When the boys returned after being missing in action for ten years they didn’t look a day older (neither did the dads for that matter).
One character that did make the time jump fairly well was (UTQU’s Grand Prince Muan) Jun-ho. I never cared about how he was treated shabbily by the siblings.
The next six episodes could very well wind up being a melo plod.
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9TailedVixen (formerly 9TailedFox)
November 8, 2024 at 8:23 PM
@marcusnyc20 I mean, to be fair, many East Asians don't change very much in 10 years unless it's we're over 55 which is when the wrinkles will slowly start creeping in.
So I'm not surprised the three musketeers don't look much different except for their hair and that the dads don't look much different either.
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Zestileigh
November 12, 2024 at 7:36 PM
I’ve got to plug the cdrama here since I think they handled it way better
For one, the sanha character goes to Singapore instead of being only a train ride away, and his mother hides his passport to keep him from leaving. It was a huge mistake to show Juwon taking a day trip to visit him, since it shows that she and his dad could have been doing that this whole time.
Ditto with Haejun coming back for his conscription, since there’s seemingly no valid reason he couldn’t have come earlier and visited them first.
In the cdrama, he is more or less stuck in England for many years before coming back. And he skulks around spying on the family without showing himself for weeks while he tries to get his business off the ground and show them that he’s coming back as a success (and he’s the one who opens a cake shop, not the FL lol).
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7 9TailedVixen (formerly 9TailedFox)
November 8, 2024 at 8:18 PM
Some thoughts about this week's episodes:
1. Yeah, Ju-Won! Make the boys WORK for your acceptance of their re-entry into the lives of you and y'all's two dads!
2. That scene where the 2 dads are crowing over how much they had saved for the kids was both heartwarming and hilarious.
3. Is Hae-Joon now flush with money thanks to his bio-dad? I mean, he was with the real estate agent looking at high-end shoplot rentals for Noodle Dad.
4. And while we are on the topic of Hae-Joon - why the heck was he skulking about Ju-Won's bakery instead of just walking in like a normal person?
5. I can understand San-Ha suddenly blurting out his feeling for Ju-Won once he found out she was going on a date - he knew that if he didn't make his move NOW, he might lose her. Which is miles better than the usual trope of not saying anything and then it takes ages to work out misunderstandings etc. Now the ball is in Ju-Won's court. What will she do?
5. I love that Ju-Won has a successful bakery - like father, like daughter with both with a knack and affinity for food and the food business.
6. Hwang In-Youp playing an adult is so much better than him playing a high school kid haha! That deep voice!
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8 FormAnOrderlyQueue
November 9, 2024 at 4:56 AM
It's a small thing, but I really did want a bit more difference in the portrayal of the three main characters after the skip. Ju-won seemed to do the best job: there was a sense of hardness to her, as if she'd put up a wall to protect herself, although her zany side was still there in her interactions with Dal. But, for me, San-ha and Hae-joon just weren't altered enough. We're being given the impression that the last 10 years were pretty life-changing or traumatic for both of them, and yet they seemed to appear again just as they were 10 years ago, especially Hae-joon. I take the point that they're possibly plastering on a performance to keep secrets hidden, but I needed a weariness about them which I just didn't sense. Feels picky to say it, but it did pull me out of the story - and I genuinely am enjoying the story.
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9 Zestileigh
November 12, 2024 at 7:28 PM
This drama isn’t working for me, sadly. I think it’s pretty good on its merits, but a few things are keeping me from engaging fully
Personally, I don’t think the FL can carry her weight. She plays the younger version a little too cutesy, and the older version is a little too childish for me not to cringe.
I’m a big fan of the cdrama, and I like that this is its own show with its own take on the characters and storylines (like Dal keeping her crush in Haejun), but it was a huge miss for me when they did the time jump
In the cdrama, the FL talks about how hard they tried to keep in touch, but we watch as she lives her life and the FaceTime calls and long, frequent texts turn into real-emotion messages that she begins to type out, only to delete and replace with platitudes. It felt so relatable and heart breaking.
And so when the boys come back into her life, there is a real feeling that she’s just moved on.
In the kdrama, the FL seems petty and angry that they haven’t contacted her in years. There doesn’t seem to be a distance between them so much as watching her have the same kind of tantrum as before they left. I don’t feel like I really know or believe her emotions about it.
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10 🌸 Seeker 🌸
November 15, 2024 at 8:20 AM
Thank you for the 👨👧👦👨👦recap.
Now I'm glad for the condensed storyline. I was not looking forward to see San-ha and Hae-joon struggling to fit in with their bio families. Okay we know what happened to San-ha but what exactly did Hae-joon do in the US with his bio dad!?
It was not me crying buckets when San-ha promised
with cakes as his witnessthat when he returns home next time, he will be back for good. Yay!!I loved Joo-won's shop and her fearless tackling of the weirdo intruder. The Police station scene was perhaps the most I have laughed in the whole show. The manner in which like a well-timed sitcom they all made their entrance one by one was just too funny. 😂
I'm sure Hwang In-youp would have been mighty pleased that this time round he wasn't the one doing Okey Dokey at the front door of their apartment. 🙈🤭
Okay so is Joo-won seeing floating golden hearts 💛 around San-ha and hearing violins yet 🎻 or is she in a see no evil, hear no evil mode!? I for one cannot wait to find out. 😊🙃❤
C'mon guys - it is high time we get the two couples on board.
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Kurama
November 15, 2024 at 9:06 AM
Actually, in Go Ahead, they did the same time jump. We didn't see how / what happened in their families. We got an idea after when they came back, overall, for San-ha character with some flashbacks.
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🌸 Seeker 🌸
November 15, 2024 at 9:11 AM
I do approve of this storytelling choice. 😂 After all we are more interested in this found family of five.
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Kurama
November 15, 2024 at 9:15 AM
One went to Singapore and the other to England, I think there were budget questions. 😂
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🌸 Seeker 🌸
November 15, 2024 at 9:21 AM
Whoops!! Well they do say that money makes the world go round. 💸🌎 In dramaland Seoul = Singapore, what is the difference. 🙃😂