I'm really loving this drama! I hope more people watch! I feel like kdramas could really benefit from showing more unconventional families and break some of those stigmas. I'm really anxious for the revelation about Haejoon's mom. I can't think of a scenario that's not heartbreaking for that poor boy one way or another. Despite his chosen family's best efforts, he's been walking on eggshells his whole life. It broke my heart to see his own aunt tell him to mind his manners and act thoughtfully. He probably never got to comfortably have his puberty moments or act out without feeling anxious about being abandoned.

Oh man, the horrid mother's manipulation of her little girl is beyond infuriating. She's so terrible she seems like a caricature, but the actor is making her too real. I still have the faintest sympathy for her loss of a child, and it's clear she's projecting her own guilt and grief onto San-ha. What troubles me about the way her character is presented is that she seemingly went no-contact for ten years and yet also stays in touch closely enough that he knows about her and her second family and she knows something about his life. That - and showing up to 'claim' him out of the blue - are inconsistent with her continuing to hate and blame him for his sister's death.

Joo-won really comes into her own in these episodes and I love seeing her fighting with any weapon that comes to hand: mocking (unfairly, tbh) her admirer's only-child status and throwing her dad's words back at him about what makes a 'good' daughter, and then packing away the desserts and mocking (completely fairly) that goody-two-shoes boy's pickiness. She's a bomb FL in the making.

The boys deciding to be boys at just the wrong moment, lashing out and projecting their own insecurities on each other instead of accepting comfort, is heartbreaking. And this only a few minutes after San-ha is an absolute hero for telling his mother he *already lives with his family.*

Yeah, lots of tears coming soon. I don't know and don't want to know anything about the C-drama and am looking forward to letting this show tell its own story in its own way.

Why are the adults who aren't apart of our found family so anger inducing? 🤬😤😡 I watched episodes 1-4 together so I might be confusing when things happened but ugh, the aunt constantly reminding Han Soo that he's not truly apart of the apartment family. Where do you get off?! You handed him off to a total stranger AFTER neglecting him. Then you give him an ultimatum about choosing to see either you or his bio dad WITHOUT even giving context why!

Then San Ha's mother is... odd? I just don't understand her audacity. She abandoned him for a decade and then decided she was ready to have him in her new life, for whatever reason, and then tries to emotionally manipulate him by bringing her daughter (who resembles the dead daughter! What the actual duck) and more with the unbelivable audacity is Han Soo's bio dad who just showed up so he can use him.

I would not be a good business owner cause all those loudmouth customers would've been banned. Seriously, all these people either need their mouths sown shut or ripped off.

On the one hand, I understand a show needs antagonists and angst and all that but on the other, I want to claw at these people haha. It's crazy how the good parents are so good and the bad parents are so trash with no inbetween haha. Granted, even flawed familial tend to fall into good/bad dynamics when things are honestly complicated.

Like I get that San Ha's mom was grieving and she had a mix of emotion plus she thinks and feels he is responsible for the daughter's death. I get why she left. I kinda get why she started a new life with a new family. What I don't get is her deciding because she's ready to have him in her life that he is just supposed to accept it with open arms. Especially if he's been ignoring her calls for months or years and explictly said "I don"t want to see you. Live your good and happy life without me".

It makes me feel like her intentions are kinda sinister. Like she wants him around so he can be unhappy and uncomfortable and she can see it with her own eyes.

Hae Joon, ah, I knew it as soon as I saw him as a kid that he would break my heart and yep, tears haha.

I feel so bad for him.

It's sad how he keeps projecting his mother issues on San Ha and he doesn't even have anyone else to vent to EXCEPT San Ha. He's been told repeated how he shouldn't be a burden, how he should just be appreciative of the care he's been given. It's probably not easy talking about his mom in the first place but to talk about her with Dad Joon no less? The man who selflessly raised him for 10 years? But Dad Joon still gets it haha. He gets all these dynamics and he handles them so well.

I really like the relationship between the three. I like that San Ha spends time with them separately and as a unit. Same with Hae Joon and Joo Won.
ugh, why does this beautiful found family have to veer into a love triangle🫣 why?!

The story with the found family, all of the members including the dads, is what makes this so engaging and sweet. Like though the villians are coming to separate and shake up the kids, the dads have laid such a sturdy foundation for them to come back to (even if it's awkward at first)

Uhm...

1. I think this show is desperately in need of flashbacks and more scenes at home.
I don't know why they're so focused on the school setting when the title has FAMILY right there. So, show me that family please?

We haven't seen one flashback or present scenes of dad and Hae Jun alone. I mean, we haven't really seen much of their dad-son dynamic and now I'm supposed to cry after the thought of them losing that bond? I barely know anything about their relationship. Or them as people in general.

The show is moving too fast, imo. Why bring all the parents back all at once? Just to say "they're bad"?

2. Why is every single person who isn't part of the family, just plain awful?

Except for Ju Won's bestie (who is there just so JW can brag about her special family), is like all the characters are designed to say something wrong about what a family is or isn't about. And that automatically makes them bad people in the eyes of the main characters, who are angels and all that.

Is that the only conversational topic the people in this town can think of? Like, who sees a girl and thinks "Omo. So weird that she smiles even tho she was raised by her single dad"??? You're telling me a teen boy with a crush naturally thinks that?

And talking about him. I didn't like how the oppas told that kid he couldn't hang out with Ju Won. She corrected him, and he apologized. She said they could be friends, so?

They said worse things to each other in this episode. Way worse given they're family, they know each other's stories, and they pretend to have deep knowledge/experience about what you can and cannot say about other people's families. So who are they to judge? That other kid made a mistake due to ignorance (more like his mom's ignorance, anyway), that doesn't mean he can't have friends? What.

Anyway, I feel like this drama's characters are all black&white and the story has a simplistic view of family dynamics.
And there isn't enough cute family moments to convince me they're that special, anyway. Maybe more flashbacks (how can they just skip the dads raising those three adorable kids? Bring the child actors back), and less high school secret admire would help. Also, let's have regular conversations like normal people, please.

Something positive: I like the dads. I love how they act like an old married couple.
I love that when the other police officer called him, it seemed like chef dad was annoyed his darling was drinking because of his ex. LMAO
And it was just adorbs how he was telling him what he needed to say to their older kid. They're married in my head, yes.

This is the first K-Drama of the year to really tug at my heartstrings.

Some thoughts:

1. Some Beanies are puzzled at the audacity of San-Ha's mother in continuing to blame him for her fatal parenting mistake. I am not surprised by her behaviour at all because as an East Asian person I have seen and heard my elders refuse to take accountability like that and use their status as an elder in the family hierarchy to displace the blame onto their child/niece/nephew/grandchild. And let's just say they can hold on to this for DECADES and the Confucian familial culture will enable them to do so without repercussions.

2. Hae-Joon is a frustrating watch for me this week because even though he's dealing with his toxic biological father, he can't seem to see that San-Ha is correct in setting harsh boundaries to break off from his toxic mother.

3. Both Policeman Dad and Noodle Dad are continuing to prove to be excellent parents this week. Noodle Dad is especially awesome - we should all have dads like him. Scratch that - we should all have parents of any gender who are like him.

4. This week's ending when San-Ha bellowed at Hae-Joon about children abandoned by mothers? The amount of pain in his voice and expression was so heartbreaking and it hit me right in the feels. Hwang In-Youp needs to be 1ML in a drama at some point - his acting has been getting better and better with every drama he's in.

5. I still don't like that mothers, aunts, and maternal/grandma figures are portrayed so negatively in this drama so far. Everyone from Hae-Joon's absent mother to San-Ha's manipulative mother to the gossipy neighbourhood ahjummas and the Queen Bees at school seem to lean in hard on negative female stereotypes we're all familiar with. I hope it gets better as the drama unfolds.

Thank you for the recap @starrygazer! Yes, this was indeed an heartbreaking one. SH mother just won't accept the fact that he was just a kid and it was not his fault. I don't know how the writer is going to address this issue.
How can they leave the kids unattended for two days? Where was Dad Kim?
Loved JW response that HJ should just visit his real dad.

Thanks @starrygazer for the recap. I am enjoying this drama and look forward to seeing what happens next are they going to focus on the college years and independence or fast forward to the world of work.

I watched this wondering whether the two dad’s had a sense of disappointment as they try to be extra responsible, non judgemental adults available to run things by day or night and yet all three children tried to do things in their own strength and suffered needlessly because of it.

The absent parents both seem to using the same parenting strategy; use parent title and money as the basis for their entitlement to the child. Both the rich biological dad and the mom with a new family want to buy their child rather than provide money no strings attached as something they had a duty to provide in the past. Haejoon’s bio dad could set up a trust fund and that could be used for his son’s future without him being a physical presence in his life. Sanha is bright enough to go to Uni in Seoul and live in dorms he doesn’t need to be integrated into some stranger’s home. We all know that the second husband won’t want to have someone else’s child living in his house based on everything we have seen in other dramas so is she separated and now realising she is vulnerable so using the daughter as a means to get Sanha back?

I am confused by Sanha’s mum’s perspective on parenting and obligations:
Sanha has been consistently painted as the bad kid who allowed his sister to die and is still seen as that person by his mum so why keep in contact once she had a new life?

Why paint him as the golden boy who will be the Oppa his sister needs to survive in the world when her parents die and she has no other family members because she is an only child. He ‘failed’ once why trust him again? Lots of only children survive in the world without older siblings when they are orphaned especially as they are usually adults by then so why try to add a burden on Sanha’s shoulders? Is his mum seeing this as a punishment or a chance to redeem himself?

Gosh i love this show! i think partially because it is about families and teen angst and there are (as of yet) ZERO serial killers. I appreciate that the drama comes from terrible family members and selfish people, so a little more slice of life. It is so sweet and tender!

I have been traveling and also got sucked into cdrama crime (Youku’s THE FIRST SHOT) so my three live kdrama live watches (DOG, FAMILY and DOUBT) suffered.
I finished episodes 3 & 4 of FAMILY BY CHOICE tonight. A few thoughts:
1. The scene in the restaurant with Noodle Dad Jeong-jae and Hae-joon was heart-breaking and beautifully acted. Well done!
2. When Aunt gave Hae-joon the choice about who to see I wish he had said “See ya!” to Auntie but that would have been out of character. She is a connection to his mom. San-ha probably would have not hesitated.
3. The San-ha/mom scenes in these episodes was also well acted by both actors.
4. I enjoyed the appearance of UMBRELLA’s Grand Prince Muan (Yoon Sang-hyeon) as “X”.

Thank you for the 👨‍👧‍👦👨‍👦recap. I love, love, love San-ha and Hae-joon's bond. ❤ Closer than brothers, thicker than thieves. They may hit out at each other, Hae-joon may be a tad jealous of San-ha who at least lives with his "real" Dad, but I am 💯 sure if push comes to shove these guys will literally die for each other. 

It was heart wrenching indeed to see Hae-joon and his conflicting feelings for his real Dad. San-ha and his straight faced suggestion of the Birth Dad needing an organ was so spot on for San-ha.

San-ha comforting Hae-joon and Hae-joon instinctively reaching out to hold San-ha's sleeve for reassurance had me in tears. 😢

My heart broke for Noodle Dad. How many times does the poor man have to prove his unconditional love for Hae-joon. 😢 Birth Dad is a jerk of the first order. 😛 I cheered when Noodle Dad said although he won't stop him, he hoped Hae-joon wouldn't go with Birth Dad. 🙌🏻 But I couldn't stop the tears flowing when Hae-joon confessed he thought if Noodle Dad knew about Birth Dad he would send him away. 😭😭😭

The return of the toxic mum. Sigh, a Beanie rightly mentioned about her being a cure for low blood pressure. 😡😤 I understand it is "drama" and we need conflict but frankly it is too near real-life manipulations by real mothers and therefore hits all that hard. Kudos to San-ha for seeing through her. Sad he has to endure this nonsense even after so many years.

I understand all three kids have their own coping mechanisms and that San-ha is probably the most mature one. Therefore seeing him distraught enough to walk into a Truck of Doom 🚚 was more scary.

I hated Hae-joon's insecurities manifesting at the worst possible time and him taking it out 9n San-ha. Not cool man, not cool at all. 😕

PS - Any man, woman or alien not loving liking CAKE is no friend of mine. 🎂✅ Full stop. 🚫