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Strangers Again: Episodes 3-4

Not wasting any time at all, the cat is out of the bag and we find out the truth behind our heroine’s divorce. And just like that, all the emotions she was just learning to accept are turned on their head. It’s nothing as dramatic as we were expecting, and that’s why it hits as hard as it does.

 
EPISODES 3-4 WEECAP

I might have liked Week 2 even more than last week — despite staying zippy and fun, it manages to hit quite deep in moments. I’m impressed how deep they’re able to go, actually, and I think the production deserves a pat on the back. Taking what we learned of Ha-ra last week — fiery, brilliant, wounded — the story takes that foundation and shows us what happens when everything she thinks she knows changes.

We open up where we left off last week. Ha-ra is out with Jae-gyeom and spies Eun-bum with the woman he supposedly destroyed their marriage over: KI SEO-HEE (Park Jung-won). And because she’s Ha-ra, she confronts them right away, only to be left even more furious.

But because jokes about murdering Eun-bum for his betrayal aren’t enough, Ha-ra weasels her way into his next case, as he is representing Seo-hee as she sues for custody rights of her daughter. Ha-ra pulls some strings and thanks to her PD’s dongsaeng’s wife’s friend’s sunbae (or some combination of that — I loved this lol), in about five seconds she’s representing Seo-hee’s ex-husband. Much like last week, this take on lawyering is far-fetched and completely unprofessional, but we’ll just give them a dramaland hall pass, since the entanglement between these two couples reveals a ton of plot that wouldn’t have got out any other way. *Hall pass engaged*

During a court appearance, Ha-ra and Eun-bum are so riled up over the case that the poor presiding judge tells their clients, “Your attorneys are as passionate as if this is their own battle.” And then he has to eat his words because it’s soon revealed that’s exactly what it is.

Later, when the battle gets ugly, each team pulls out their hidden card: Eun-bum says that the reason Seo-hee left her family was because her husband assaulted her. Then, not to be outdone, Ha-ra plays the card they were all dreading: Seo-hee was an adulteress who abandoned her family of her own free will.

Here, Eun-bum can’t sit still. He’s so deeply involved in this case and getting Seo-hee’s daughter back to her, that in the middle of court, in a frantic mess, he admits that there was never an affair. He cooked the whole thing up and Seo-hee agree to go along with it because he simply “wanted a divorce.” Then he turns from the judge to Ha-ra and says: I’m sorry.

Wow! This is the last thing I had in mind for the reason behind their breakup, and it hit in a way I completely didn’t expect. Ha-ra runs after Eun-bum and Seo-hee, stilettos in hand, demanding an explanation, and when she finally gets it from Eun-bum, it’s a very affecting scene. Ha-ra (like all of us!) was busy thinking up all the crazy and dramatic reasons that he would have wanted to divorce her, but the answer isn’t terminal illness or anything else like it. The answer is simply that married life wasn’t for him. He wanted out, and then he found the only way to do it where he knew she would gladly agree to the divorce.

It might just be me, but this is one low blow. Ha-ra is deeply affected by this new reveal, naturally, and we see how the weight of it hits her differently. There’s no more comedic rage of a woman scorned. There’s sadness, humiliation, and an identity crisis.

She shoulders the truth amazingly well — and has such nice support in her boss and co-worker/friend KANG BI-CHWI (Jo Eun-ji) — but we also see a much more mature Ha-ra as a consequence. Her rage is gone, and she even calls off the huge alimony agreement (!). She tells Bi-chwi what she feels the most now is embarrassment, and the humiliation of losing her love. It hurts right through the screen.

It’s very interesting timing the drama’s chosen. I expected to wait a lot longer to find out what was behind Eun-bum’s side of the divorce, and I even expected to like him more after I learned the truth. But I actually like him less — and you go, Show, for making such a gutsy move.

The timing is also interesting because we not only see an adorkable flashback to when Eun-bum first asked Ha-ra out, but Ha-ra herself admits to Jae-gyeom that she’s not over Eun-bum. Gutsy again, I say, because while the drama is making me seriously question Eun-bum as hero material, Jae-gyeom is given a nice gentle role to play.

Jae-gyeom realizes Ha-ra has a ways to go before she can accept him, and he does that wonderful K-drama thing where he’s devoted and supportive and “good at waiting” while the heroine gets herself together. I genuinely like the two of them together so much, and appreciate how Jae-gyeom’s way of seeing right to the heart of things is a good counterbalance to Ha-ra’s fly-off-the-handle personality.

In fact, I like them so much together that there’s a part of me that started to think perhaps this story is better off as one where the original couple doesn’t get together again. Maybe it’s more about them moving on. There’s definitely an argument for this, but in the end I expect Jae-gyeom has that second lead kindness for a reason, and the crux of the story is in Ha-ra and Eun-bum coming to a deeper and more lasting understanding.

Anyway, the drama — and Ha-ra’s arc in particular — continues to really ring true. She’s completely relatable, whether she’s trying to understand how to be happy, or wondering why a simple life of marriage and children is so easy for others yet so hard for her to achieve.

Just like last week, though, the office shenanigans counterbalance the heavier moments of the drama. The whole plot line with CEO Seo wanting them to drop honorifics — and then Bi-chwi going at it full steam ahead calling him super informally — was hilarious. And I also was cringing from behind my laptop.

Bi-chwi also creates more mayhem this week when she and their other co-worker (and Eun-bum’s close friend) KWON SHI-WOOK (Lee Jae-won) have a drunken one-night stand. In their “love to hate you” dynamic, Shi-wook is the pure one who can’t reconcile what happened between them, while Bi-chwi doesn’t give it a second thought. I know this plot line is supposed to counterbalance that of our leads, but I’m finding it a little trite and recycled right now. However, I love Lee Jae-won, and a sputtering Lee Jae-won is even better, so I’ll wait to see how they handle this plot line as we go along.

One more important bit to talk about this week is Eun-bum and what we learn of him. We know from our first episode that he’s still not over Ha-ra, but we also see snippets of what their married life was like. Ha-ra’s strong personality and preferences won out over his, and wore him out in the end… to which I say, yes, but also, weren’t they able to communicate at all after so many years together? Is Eun-bum that passive that he would just let her wear all the pants and call all the shots 24/7?

While we still exist mostly in Ha-ra’s world, we do get a sense of Eun-bum’s closeness with Seo-hee and her family this week, and see it at play in how much effort and emotion he puts into her case. The custody battle case itself might have gone a bit haywire (i.e., Truck of Doom appearance), but I did like the way it played out and exposed the biases and perspectives of our leads.

Whether it was feeling the pangs of a mother who longs for her child, or the pain of being abandoned, all the emotional beats hit quite well. This arc also opened up the important question of children, and we learn how much Ha-ra wants to be a mother, and how much Eun-bum doesn’t want to be a father (but then the way he looked at Seo-hee’s recovering daughter? This is definitely ripe for change).

With the plot zipping along, we’re left with some important questions for next week. Will Eun-bum make it official with Seo-hee, and thus move on from Ha-ra (though one wonders why he didn’t do this earlier)? How will Ha-ra’s relationship with Jae-gyeom be affected by the humiliation and insecurity she’s now shouldering after Eun-bum’s confession? Will she be able to accept the love he’s basically firehosing in her direction, or will she retreat into herself and reassess her life?

 
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Let's get this out of the way first, isn't it a violation of attorney-client privilege to discuss your case with your boyfriend? In retrospect, I guess, that is the least of the case weirdness, lol! Hall Pass Please!

Now to the rest:
- I am loving the actual maturity of all the actors. Ha-ra accepted and in a way felt better about the divorce once she realized it was from mundane reasons. Her new beau is a gem, and the two maturely address the various conflicts that arise. I loved 'it would be weird if you weren't totally over him' - so true, realistic and mature. Even nerdy Kwon Shi-Wook admitted his feelings for Bi-chwi in an oddly mature way.
- the mix of comedy and depth is hitting all the right notes
- I think there still might be more going on with the divorce. Otherwise, why would Eun-bum want to work at the same law firm - that seems out of place given the big reveal- but maybe another Hall Pass is needed
- Getting together with Seo-hee would be out of place, so I hope they don't go down that rabbit hole.
- And most importantly, Why are all dramas only 12 episodes now?

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Regarding attorney-client confidentiality.
Ha Ra used this rule to rebuke Eun Bum when he accused her of not informing the baseball guy's sudden decision to take the kid to US, but she also conveniently broke it by discussing with her new BF.

This drama just follows a loose form of law profession and it works with the context of the story, but in real life both the leads would be sued multiple times for violating rules.

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God, please no getting with Seo Hee especially if it's a marriage kind. If Eun Beom ended up marrying Seo Hee after declaring that marriage life is not for him, he is dead to me. I love JSJ, but good God, I just cant with his character. And the funny thing is I dont want Hara with the SML too. I think she needs to be single and try to reasses her life first before jumping on any relationshiop, especially with a best friend of her ex. I just feel icky about the whole thing of Eun Beom introducing his friend to Hara. Like WTF dude.

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Exactly my sentiments. He is a wuss and a douche for such a lame excuse to have a divorce. Even to introduce his friend to his ex is the despicable.

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One can generally discuss a case in general terms with anyone as long as one does not reveal confidential information or the specific identity of the client or the specific words spoken by the client. Lawyers frequently discuss cases with each other and even ask for opinions as to possible outcomes. Our FL adhered to those rules.

As for not speaking up when her client is about to take the kid and leave the country- the Attorney-Client privilege does not apply to immediately immanent future crimes. In fact, if her client were about to do violence to someone, she would actually have a legal duty to report that to the police.

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I find faking an affair to get Ha-ra to divorce him was so cruel, even crueler than a real affair. I agree that their marriage life was suffocating with Ha-ra being in control of everything, something she admitted to in the present. Still, Eun-bum could have either voiced his opinion much earlier or could have just said I can't take it anymore, let's get divorced. Much better than the fake affair scheme.

I agree with you @missvictrix. The drama is better of being a story about how a former couple learns to move on and become strangers again. I know both sides have lingering feelings but sometimes love alone isn't enough to make a relationship succeed.

The custody case is thought-provoking. The mother had postpartum depression but not only did the father not help take care of the child but also he assaulted the mother. Anyone in her place could have thought of running away from such an abusive husband but the point is they have a child. So either take your child with you or stay away from them to the end.

I don't know about you but suddenly appearing in a child's life is confusing and turns their life upside down. I know being abandoned brings excruciating pain but perhaps the confusion they will live in might make it worse.

Also, showing up after all of those years is greed. I know the situation was more than the mother could handle but one should bear the consequences of their choices.

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I love how this drama isn't trying to be pro-marriage, despite being sponsored by a Korean Ministry in the face of declining birth rates. Amazing.
Unlike most romance-dramas, it is the anti-thesis of fairy-tale which like to pretend marriage is the happily ever after. The band-aid to fix everything. The one move that trumps it all. Nope. Marriage can be the beginning of all problems, even if two people are madly in love.

Wasn't the affair-faking because Eun-Beom felt... guilty? Like if he had a genuine confrontation with Ha-Ra, deep down he knew she'll try to work through their problems, and he won't get an out. The affair would portray him as the villain, as he genuinely believes that he is, for not being able to continue on. Inspite of being on the verge of poverty, he wants to make those alimony payments to Ha-Ra, out of that very same guilt. I also think on a deep psychological level, maybe he wasn't ready for a mutual separation. Maybe he wasn't ready for her to be done with him, and wanted that ultimate power-move, where he gets to walk out first.

I know, not ideal. Am I projecting? Am I reading too much into the conversation they had in the car? :O
I feel for Eun-Beom. Poor guy.

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Your theory could be plausible, though. Perhaps he is afraid of being abandoned Maybe he has issues with his self-confidence.

The guilt arc might be true after all. Like he found out all of a sudden that he wasn't cut out for marriage so he wanted an out. Still, he felt bad to tell Ha-ra the situation as it is so he faked the affair.

That is the show's main strength. It makes us empathize with the leads and think how they must have felt to end up like that.

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So all those jokes that Kwon Si Wook make about how men having fragile ego and conservative opinions about women are not just jokes, but the truth? If so, then story is much more deep than what appears on the surface.

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Same, I think that is the reason why he keeps paying Hara the alimony. He feels guilty for not making their marriage work.

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I agree with him feeling guilty; not with the power move part.

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yeah, he definitely feels guilty for feeling that way about a marriage that he was sure about. he clearly loves her but their marriage life made him miserable. do I think his idea is pathetic? yeah, but I think the drama wants us to see him that way too.

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but one should bear the consequences of their choices.

This a great dialogue they used in Ep 2, but they couldn't follow through in the subsequent episodes. I am not condoning abuse or that the baseball guy was right in refusing to give custody or agree for visitations, but he did take care of the kid when the monther ran off. He even went as far as quitting his job, so it did not sit right with me that in the end Seo Hee won the battle through ToD. I would have liked it had they shown multiple visitations of the mother slowly bonding with the little girl and the dad learning that his daughter longs for a motherly figure and giving up the case.

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I agree with your point. Even when they went out together, it felt like the mother was forcing herself on the daughter. She needs motherly love and it can't be denied (the bathroom scene where she was sad seeing the other girl with her mother) but a mother appearing out of nowhere and taking the daughter seemed unreasonable. Perhaps, if they did it slowly as you say, it would have been better.

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Agree. The case should have been resolved better. His running away to another country seemed unfair to the child. And I do think he knew the child wanted to meet the mother (given how she asked if the mother was on the phone).
He was angry at his ex wife and didn’t put the needs of the child first.
But he probably did not have a choice regarding his work either. And he can’t just leave the kid with the mother since he doesn’t trust her.
This show is making it hard to take sides and I quite like that.

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Yeah both sides have reasons for their actions so you can't say one side is purely right and the other is wrong.

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Keep in mind though that the child looks to be about 4 or 5. He has only been taking care of her for two years since the mother left. Before that she took care of the child alone while struggling with postpartum depression and apparently at least on one occasion domestic abuse. Also, he clearly knows that the daughter wants to engage with her mother. That moment when she asked if it was the mom on the phone, seemed like a regular occurrence. He purposely lied and denied the mother the visits. I'm assuming that's why she had to fight for custody. He clearly wasn't open to splitting custody. What I find disappointing this week is that the issue of the child's safety with a parent with a history of domestic abuse never came up. It didn't even give Ha Ra a moment's pause. Then again this case was never about the child for her, it was about getting revenge against her ex, but still.

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You are right. Ha-ra's concern wasn't the child but getting back on the mother and her Eun-bum.

I also understand your point regarding the domestic abuse issue. Both parents have problems and I don't know who the daughter is better off with.

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Last week I said I was in “Team Cheat” and I thought I wouldn’t like any other thing, but I actually liked the turn we had this week. Surely, it was cruel, but I get the position Eun Beom was in. The flashbacks were so revealing… he forgot about himself, at some point he was just pleasing HaRa as she took everything from granted from him. Then he was so suffocated that he saw no other chance even if hw knew that would hurt HaRa, because at that moment he was just too exhausted to say “let’s talk”. When he told HaRa “you wouldn’t have let me go” she realised she wouldn’t have… I’m not saying Eun Beom did right, because he should have talked to her and explained her feelings, and faking an affair was cruel, but the fact that in SK a divorce is not possible unless both parts agree… it’s crazy. So what I’m saying here is that I understand both of them. Now, if Eun Beom has found happiness in being single, as CEO Seo asked, is another question.

This drama keeps making me apply suspension of disbelief in everything court / legal related, so I won’t comment on anything related (because if I do I would drop the drama 😂).

I also love HaRa and Jae Gyeom together and I really hope they are end game. I mean, he’s not just being the Nice Guy who expects to be loved just by being nice. He is a supportive friend and is being so honest about how he feels… I would really hate to see him suffer.

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Jae Gyeom is such a refreshing Second ML. I'd love for him to be endgame too! ^^ Because he genuinely wants to be with Ha-Ra, whereas Eun-Beom, doesn't. He's the real deal :D
Being in love, in a relationship, cohabiting etc is understandable. But do people really get married without having a talk if both partners want kids? :O I still cannot believe Ha-Ra actually thinks 'having a child would have fixed it' when Eun-Beom isn't ready to be a parent at all.
Sure, he may love the giggling ball of cute flesh, eventually, like his colleague says. But he isn't ready for it. And he doesn't want it. Ugh! TT

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And it is ok if he doesn’t want to have kids. Let’s just normalise it. And probably he never gave a thought about it as he just did the things as should be done (dating the one you like, married the one you love), so as he was doing things “by the book” he never thought of it was his book. This happens more often than we think, as people do what they are supposed to do instead of what they want and suddenly they find themselves in a place that is not where they want to be and they are miserable.

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Oooof!!!! Preach, sis! <3

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Took me a long time to internalize the fact that not wanting children didn't make me weird, or bad, just different. Yes, let's normalize it! I'm with Eun-beom: I love my nephews, but the thought of looking after them all the time sends me running for the hills.

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And I adore my goddaughter, but I am perfectly fine being the fairy godmother and nothing else.

In my case I always thought I would e a mum, but as years went by and it didn't happen, I never thought of that a sad thing or me lacking something. I just naturally assumed it wouldn't happen and not biological clock or frustration came into my life.

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How many people talk about kids before marriage? And opinions can change. What you didn’t want in your twenties might become a need in your thirties. Or vice versa. People evolve. People Change. People grow apart. Very few are lucky in that couple grow together and share similar ideals and wants.
Can’t blame anyone for having different needs from their partner.
In many ways I am glad he left before a baby was in the picture. That would make it more complicated.

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The problem is, they hinted that he either had a kid or was raising a kid and something happened. This is kdrama trauma, also it seemed he agreed to be a "father" to Seo Heo's daughter because apparently now that her father is in another country she no longer has one. I agree to normalize people not wanting kids, but that isn't the case here.

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I love how the show isn't portraying one as pure evil and the other as pure good. Both Ha-ra and Eun-bum have setbacks and the question is whether the other party can handle and accept it or not and also if the one with setbacks will make an effort to compromise and change for the sake of the relationship and that goes two ways for Eun-bum and Ha-ra since it isn't one person's responsibility but both persons'.

I think it takes two to tango might be one of the drama's significant messages.

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I don't know why but I feel zero chemistry between Ha Ra and Jae Gyeom.

It's too obvious that Ha Ra doesn't have feelings for him and he's like... her advisor? good dongsaeng? friend?
I kinda feel bad for him because he's always so present in the moment and he tries so hard to make things work.

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I actually feel both. He's good for her and they have quite perfect chemistry but in the same vein a good advisor. But we can have both in one package right? Except this one feels like it's two different packages.

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🤔 I wonder what am I missing.

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I don't necessarily find the chemistry lacking, I just find his personality lacking. It's hard to have chemistry with such a blank slate.

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I don't find him blank, at least no more blank than other second leads.
I feel like the only difference between him and other SLs is that this one has the support of the ML, tbh.

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I think he is fine. He is calm and is a good balance for her. And he speaks his mind. Calls her out when needed. Given that it started as a blind date, I can see this progressing well.

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He is always there when she needed his support without asking and letting her voiced her problems or when she is sad and troubled. I am rooting for him and wondered why she is into her ex as he has shown how cruel he can be for lying about his affair. Would you in her shoes, when your spouse had an affair, tear your hair out with grief and anger towards him/her?

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I dont like him at all lol

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😆
Why?

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something about him feels off to me LOL I don't know if it's because we only see him with hara and his feelings grew really fast, but he looks a bit obsessed with her. i don't think he's a serial killer or anything, I just think he's not as understanding, nice or perfect as he looks to be. every male character in this drama is a bit sh!t, why would he be Mr perfect?!

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You have a point.

I think there's two options:

1. They show him as mr perfect to make viewers believe he's better than the ML, and give people second lead syndrome si they'll root for him and Ha Ra.

2. Like you said, they're only showing one side of him for now, but he actually isn't such a flawless dude.

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“ you wouldn’t have let me go” - right? That was a powerful statement. And being a lawyer he exactly knew how he had no legal chance and that his wife will do everything to stop it. It would only mean many more years of agony for him.

I really can’t take sides. I hope they both find their happiness, separately.

Good thing I don’t learn law from dramas. Lol. I ignore too.

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I need to do better at ignoring the law parts of this. I left episode 3 certain that she should be disbarred, and it can be such a distraction from what this show is really about.

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I really appreciated the turn in this show. Normally we see female characters losing themselves in the marriage. It was refreshing to see it from a male perspective. It was also impactful that the flashback was of small every day common things. Because losing oneself is not one major cataclysmic event, but usually happens over time and in tiny pieces.

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Hum...

I kinda found Eun-bum's reasons valid. Yes, he could have tried to talk or couple therapy, but he was kinda depressed. But it was their stupid law that made him lie to her.

I don't understand how people can decide to have a baby without real discussions before like what education they want to give? How they will manage their time? Etc.

Their case was a complete mess. Ha-Ra shouldn't have the right to take the case in the first place. It didn't make any sense.

Then, the father hit his wife and it was not really well adressed... Just one time is a pretty bad excuse... He lied about his daughter and the fact she doesn't want to spend time with her mother. She wouldn't have been curious about the phone call.

Ha-Ra couldn't do anything against her client's decision to take his daugther, she was bound by professional secrecy. But she was wrong to take the case.

I don't understand why it's so hard to accept a shared custody for the sake of their daughter.

I hope the drama will use the title as a purpose! They need to live on their own.

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Shared custody is only compulsory in Spain since very recently and not everyone is for it. It’s sad but when it comes to divorce most times is about hurting the other than thinking about the kids. Every part feels the other won’t do correctly (I have right now a case with a co-worker, she refuses to share custody and only had the mínimums so her daughters see their dad… she says they will always be better by her side…).

I said I wouldn’t comment on legal issues, haha, and look at me 🙄

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In a divorce with kids, in my country, there is a service that is automatically involved, depending on the relationship between the parents and the children, they make a more or less thorough investigation. They give their opinion to the judge.

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It’s the default under Belgian law as well. I think.

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The case was a total mess from the beginning till the end. Lawyers, parents, they all... *sigh*

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Until now I never understood why in k drama one half of a couple feels the need to act like an asshole in order to break up with the other half. Why would you intentionally hurt someone ? Ffs we hurt people enough UNintentionally. But that legislation explains a lot.

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Thank you, @missvictrix, for the weecap! I think Eun-bum felt demeaned by him taking over the house chores while Ha-ra is the sloppy one (we saw how her apartment looked like when Jae-gyeom came to visit). They're lawyers, both working, but he couldn't even relax at home because his wife kept on 'bulldozing' his preferences. He may or may not have noticed it during the years they were going out but, yes, honey, the partnership sometimes changes after the wedding.

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"Although we all live talking about love, but in truth we don't know how to achieve it" I love, love the dialogues in this drama and the heart felt conversations they show between the characters, especially the advices Hong Yeo Rae gives.

Ep 4 was a difficult watch not because they dealt with a heavy theme, but because the "married life" scenes flared my anxiousness of marriage in real life. I am at an age in a patriarchial and conservative country where the marriage pressure is suffocating me, so when the ML spoke of marriage during his dinner with the CEO and Kwon Si Wook, it resonated a lot with me because if you are afraid to make adjustments and commitments then it ruins the life of not just one, but two people.

Also, I am in the minority of not liking the SML because I feel he is obsessed with Ha Ra even though his personlity has been nothing short of great. I think most of it has got to do with all of his scenes revolving around the FL and not showing enough of his background or life outside of their dates.

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Sometimes I wonder if my hesitation toward marriage is not because the social pressure, fear of responsibilities or the high rate of divorce, but what if I somehow feel regret I can't make adjustments or compromise for other person, living together.

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This, my goodness, Thisssss!!!

OMG, I only started reading the recaps because the drama’s poster/thumbnail looked really good. But I NEVER expected the kind of thoughtful discussions it would incite.

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Cultural ideas about marriage can be so deeply ingrained, it's really hard. I really appreciate dramas like this that explore those ideas, and the ways in which they don't always work for people. It's where I think Because This Is Our First Life did really well, and Search WWW could have used more help.

I totally agree about the SML. It seems like his only personality is liking Ha-ra, which is fine, and cute, but also really boring. A Beanie explained to me in a different comment section this week that if someone is a flat character whose only purpose in the story is to care about another character, they are probably a serial killer. I'm almost entirely sure that doesn't apply here and I'm not saying I want that to happen, but it would at least make him more interesting.

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I agree with you about the SML. and I still feel like this guy is hiding something

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I join in this minority of side-eyeing the SML but not for the same reason. His advice to Ha Ra about her case seems to condone (despite his disclaimer) domestic abuse. He seems to have projected his own past on the situation and did not consider the child nor her safety. Which neither did Ha Ra, but yeah, I'm concerned at what appears to be his lack of sympathy or understanding for a mother who faced depression and abuse.

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Uhm finally there's one said the ultimate truth, "perhaps marriage is not for everyone." 😏
I look for this writer's other works, she/he has things to say.

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How is a Korean Ministry funding this? :O
I think we should hold our horses, cuz the skeptic in me says the writer could still do a 180 on this! xD

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Noo don't jinx it @chibi8535 😅
Don't do that to me writer-nim.
*throw salt*

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First of all, yay! we all one 50 points for guessing he didn't actually cheat.
We're drama experts, DB's staff should take that into consideration and change our levels (yeah, I'm tired of being an errand dude).

Second, I'm going to be the devil's advocate here: I understand Goo's POV and I think he has a point.
He was just being consistent with his personality and perspective.

I know that communication is key and all, but you only talk when there's someone to listen.
To fix things you need the other person's cooperation.

If he was (1) scared of his wife and (2) felt like she couldn't compromise and understand him, then his actions make sense.
Personally, I don't find anything more frustrating than talking to someone but feeling like I've said nothing. When someone can't (or won't) put in your position, you can take a step back and save your energy.

I think is sad that she never thought about his actions and responses. I know communication is key, but did he had to spell everything for her? Did she ever think how her actions affected him?
"Oh, he wants to watch this movie, maybe I should just let him watch it"? "oh, he likes cleaning first. I'll take note for next time"? "Maybe we should discuss about the air conditioner at night"?
I know some people don't give that much thought to things, but damn.

Tbh, it's exhausting to be around people seems to not consider you. And it's even worse if you feel like you can't voice your needs because that person has power over you or because your scared of them.

I'm pretty sure this guy would've end up voluntarily mute instead of speaking up. He did right asking for a divorce.

It's sad that Oh blames herself, tho, she shouldn't. 😔 Actually, I was kind of surprised with her reaction, I thought she was going to be angry.

I think he said he cheated because he didn't want to fight, or blame her, or actually tried to fix something that for him wasn't right. For him it was the "best" choice, even if it cost his reputation, money and her heart.

So... this two should NEVER get back together.
I mean, from her POV it doesn't make sense to comeback with him because damn, what perspective this dude has of her to not be able to talk to her about those stuff. And well, he broke her heart in a million of pieces.
From his perspective they are incompatible and he doesn't has the energy to try to make it compatible. Plus, he totally broke her heart twice, so unless he's a psycho he should leave her alone.

🤷‍♀️

Oh, btw, I hate the kid's parents. They needed to wait until the kid got physically hurt to start thinking what's best for her? F off.

Well, see you on another drama beanies. I'm out. Good luck with this.

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Hara feels guilty because from point she thinks she is the victim of an affair to the point she also takes part in why their marriage didn't work. Both of them have fair share of guilt, she doesn't listen enough, he doesn't speak up more. I think it okay everyone makes mistakes, either you learn from it and grow or just move on so you don't make the same mistake again.

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I understand that but it was really painful to watch. :( I feel bad for her. It most be really awful.
Also, all her hopes of getting back together with him are gone.
Aigoo.

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I know! I feel bad for her, he just fell out of love. Maybe if I were her I can't stop recalling the past, wondering, questioning in which part I did wrong, was I that bad to make him feel that miserable? Almost at the same level frustation when someone is cheating on you.

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I don't think he fell out of love. His love wasn't in question. He just didn't want it to turn into resentment cause it would if he remained in the marriage. And when push comes to shoves and everything comes out like it just did. We all might be having a different conversation and asking something else - Why did he stay in such a marriage and waste both his time and Ha-ra's?

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Exactly.
So many questions, the mixed feelings, the frustration, confusion, guilt...

She wasn't even fully recoverd from the fake cheating, and now this new information... 😔

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Nah it’s still possible. In a relationship there can come a point where irreparable damage is done. I think he got out before that moment as it seems to me he still cares a lot about her.

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I know that communication is key and all, but you only talk when there's someone to listen.
This...veeery important. I could literally feel his pain as he bottled everything in and kept on adjusting until he had no place to adjust to anymore. And he loves his wife so much and knows she loves him too and also knows how strong willed she can be. Instead of it turning into hate or him letting her know he's not okay with her strong force which might actually make her question all the years they've spent together and all sorts of stuffs. Even thier good times might come under scrutiny and now become 'Oh! So he wasn't even enjoying himself when I saw that we both did'. Good memories will be ruined. Perhaps this is one of the things he didn't want so he did he knew would get the desired divorce, fake affair or not.

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I agree, I loved this sentence too! I understand some peoples' frustration at the way he handled the situation, but there is no way he would've taken such a drastic step if he hadn't already tried to preserve their relationship. You have to feel incredibly backed into a corner to fake an affair so you can get a divorce. And it made so much sense to me that he did it when she started talking about having a baby. Not only was he not enthused about that idea, but he knew it would make their relationship so much worse. Can you imagine trying to have an honest conversation with her about your doubts about being a parent? She would have dismissed them out of hand, gaslighted him into oblivion, and he would have felt more trapped than ever. We can argue about the way he did it but he was right to get out.

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One of the scenes that totally broke my heart was when his friend and boss tried to sell marriage to him, but he said that despite everything, even if he's broke and alone now, he isn't miserable.

I believe divorce was the answer. And I also think that he tried not to make her feel bad about herself and all the years they spent together. The problem is that his lie wasn't better (or efficient. At the end she found out).

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And I also think that he tried not to make her feel bad about herself and all the years they spent together. The problem is that his lie wasn't better (or efficient. At the end she found out).

Exactly. Sincere good memories are sincere good memories and should remain such. He loved her and their marriage so much to want to preserve that no matter what.

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Or when his friend asks him about his divorce, his answer is that he won't tell because he is afraid he will be just justifying himself 🥲 but the way he didn't explaining the reason behind the divorce or The problems in their marriage to his ex wife makes me question did he even love her that much at the 1st place?
He divorced her is okay but at least she deserves explaination. But maybe he is just so depressed, and had no energy to form any word to explain anything.
Don't we all sometimes wish people understand us without saying anything and just do telepathy kind of thing? ha ha

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He loved her, like you said, he probably wasn't in the right state of mind to have that conversation. Especially if he thought that conversation was going to drag things and extend his misery.

And like jerrykuvira said, he didn't want her to feel bad about everything.

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“I know that communication is key and all, but you only talk when there's someone to listen.”

Premium gold comment! 🏆🏆🏆

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Ouch. Ouch. and Ouch.

Did not see that coming. Surprised the show went here. And glad it did.

Being tired of marriage and not feeling like you are an equal in the relationship can be tiring. And if he truly felt that he couldn’t talk to his wife about it, it’s sad. It probably was already a failing marriage or he didn’t want to put any effort into communicating to make it work.

I think it’s a good closure for her to move on. It’s going to take her time to heal from this and trust another person or even herself to get into another relationship. She needs time.

I really hope they don’t Bring them back together.

Also, did they talk about another child towards the end? Why do I feel like there is something more he is hiding.

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Another thought occurred to me. Switch the genders and would the sentiments be the same?
Given how it’s mostly women who end up shouldering most of the responsibilities at home (like chores) and parenting, are the writers calling out the hypocrisy of the society at large or something else.

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Actually Seo Hee's life parallels Eun Beom's life. She ran away because she couldn't communicate her problems and felt suffocated. So, she was a pitiable character until she hinted she wanted to be more than friends with Eun Beom. Lady, your kid was in an accident, you had just overcome a custody battle, but the first thing on her mind was dating instead of bonding more with the kid.

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I felt she asked him out more out of a need of a parent to her daughter than the need for dating. I think she is scared. Scared to be a single parent. when bad things happen to your child you worry.
And it’s really sad that the kid has two loving parents and yet they can’t agree to some coparenting guidelines.
People in this drama don’t talk to each other!

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In fact, that was actually how Seo-hee asked him to get together- it was for the kid but also, because of what happened in the past it was also the reason he might just want to do it. She did that for her kid but remember that we saw him literally staying by the child's bedside at the hospital - almost as if he was the child's father. He and Seo-hee are long time friends- and she knows what happened to Eun-byul who almost certainly was his younger sister who died at about this same age- and we will probably learn the Eun-beum feels responsible to some extent for his sister's death- and this is why he did not want a child because he felt inadequate to that responsibility- not someone who does not want a child but rather someone who has been proven he should not be entrusted with one.

Seo-hee was not proposing a romance by itself- the essence of what she really said to Eun-beum was that her daughter could become a sort of substitute for his little sister. A daughter who is essentially now losing her father. Seo-hee is not offering romance but rather redemption, although there would be a romantic element as well.

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Switch the roles... I don't know if I'm on track but I think it's more of habit over responsibility with regards to the chores. Ha-ra wasn't shown to hide away from the chores, she just does it her own timing. But Eun-beom prefers if dishes are done almost right after nor can he look away from it till Ha-ra is done with her business. He likes his vicinity clean and tidy. We can see that reflected in the untidiness of Ha-ra's apartment. It's just his habit.
I don't know about parenting but I'm very sure my sentiment will change with a gender reverse. But if its the chores, my sentiments will remain the same.

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They talked about a certain Eun-byul. His name is Eun-beom so I guess Eun-byul is his sister. And guessing by the fact that his guardian( was it his older sister or an aunt ) beat him a lot when he was younger, I'm guessing Eun-byul is either the older sister who beat him up, or his younger sister who something bad happened to(most likely death) as a result of the harsh treatment they received from their guardian.

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I see that as a reason why he doesn't want to have a kid of his own. Either scenario it was, he doesn't want to repeat history. And couple with the kind of vibe he felt about his marriage over time, he would not want to have a child with the-Ha-ra prior to thier divorce. It'll top choice out of him.

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It'll **rip** choice out of him.

Autocorrect ish

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Thanks. I completely missed the detail of him being beat up growing up.
I thought they said something about Eun Byeol being the same age as the kid.

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...when something happened I think. Eun-byul must be his younger sister or elder sister who was around that same age when something that shouldn't happen happened to her, and since she's outta the picture currently, the incident cost Eun-byul her life.

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This two episodes changed everything. When the reason for jumping into something becomes the reason for wanting out, I know that it is best they step back and take a while to reassess. I quite understand Eun-beom's point of view and freaking feel for him. I also get it to the end if that is the reason he made a decision to not have a kid with Ha-ra, leaving his likely Eun-byul trauma out of it. It'll kill him inside and he won't want to voice out. He couldn't help but watch as everything was tearing apart and didn't speak up for the same reason - things tearing and falling apart. And that's where I'll pick a pickle with him. It just had to be one conversation. If Mr. A has always known you to yield for them and all of a sudden you start standing your ground, they'll know that something is up, and with the kind of person Ha-ra is shown to be - she knows how to take a back seat and reassess things - , would they have turned out that way.
And even if they divorced because it is a big issue for him, the reasons would be clear. She now realizing that the divorce was as a result of him always having to yield to her strong will, one of the very things he loved about her is devastating and unfair. It's no longer a case of would she have worked on it if I told her or not. He knew she could get really ferocious and scary whenever they fought, it's a case of letting her know that he has had it up to here and can't take it anymore, whether or not she becomes a scary cat during the conversation. It could have been a wakeup call for her...or not. But at least she wouldn't be made a fool for 3 solid years.

I'm glad it wasn't an affair that caused their divorce. I'm glad that it was a personality issue. And I'm looking forward to how this information being out there in the open changes the dynamics and rocks the boat.

Talking about the romances, I like Jae-gyum and I like him with Ha-ra as much as I like Ha-ra and Eun-beom back. I'll be delighted with whatever she chooses as an endgame. I just want his level of fine understanding is not as a result of personal trauma. I want it to just be him giving his personal opinion and not talking from experience. It was his perspective that made me see things clearer about Seo-hee's husband's point of view and he scores points for that.

Eun-beom and Ki Seo-hee...I'm not sure I'm digging this one even though I know he cares for her and it seems like she is into him. Or was my eyes deceiving me. I do look how Jang Seung-jo's eyes spoke volumes as he worried by Da-wol's bedside.

I like Lee Jae-won. I told myself I wouldn't check the internet until I remembered his past work. Once I remembered he was in Mr. Queen, I went to asianwiki for confirmation. And he is warming up his character to me even though he is quite conservative. I'm quite conservative too on some matters, but he a fogey. I'm curious to see how his arc with Bi-chwi will refine his conservativeness and make him a modern...

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I think some of your comment was cut off by the word count.

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Comment was deleted

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🤦🏽🤦🏽
Thank you @reply1988

...a modern timeless conservative man.

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I don't like the ML. You don't do that to someone you love or even like. He had perfectly valid reasons for wanting a divorce, so communicate that. I understand it is hard to get a divorce, but fight for that. He took the cowards way out because he didn't want to have a hard conversation. All he lost was money. She lost dignity, a love she thought she had, and piece of mind. What he did wasn't just cruel, it was worse than that. I can empathize with his reasoning for not wanting to be married, I cannot empathize with how went about doing that. the ends don't justify the means in this case. I honestly don't know how they are going to bring them back together and I really don't want them to, lol. I wish he had cheated.

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I really like what the show is doing because I am pretty Team ML at this point, tbh! We got to see so much of our FL being petty, unforgiving, and overbearing this week that I can absolutely imagine every single conversation where he tried to talk things out with her going south and devolving into her being unreasonable almost instantly. I can totally see her staying married because she could, out of spite, and because she was desperate to have a baby. I'm not sure anything else could have been a wakeup call for her, and I think she's only reflective about it now (which I did love) because she's had two years of distance from the situation.

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I can’t take sides. It takes two to tango. And a marriage failed because of both parties.
But I do hope he knows the amount of hurt he has caused her. And learns to talk to his future partner if he does choose to have one. But I do hope he doesn’t get into another relationship without seeing his own faults.
May be now they both will become respectful of each other and will actually be able to talk and eventually heal.

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I get where you are coming from, but she was like this before they got married and he married her anyway. He is saying she changed during the marriage, but she didn't. Again, I fully understand where he is coming, but the way he did it was nasty. Mind you, he actually thinks she is great, he said so to his friend, she just isn't for him. If he had insisted, fought and said I just don't want you anymore, eventually she would have left, but he felt the need to break her down in order to get away. So I do actually get why you are on his side, but I simply CANNOT countenance what he did, lol.

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But, here is my perspective, as someone who can be petty, overbearing, and well, not unforgiving, because my own flaws mean I have to forgive others. BUT if I was treated like the FL was--no communication, no consideration of my feelings, out of the blue affair, then turns out my partner was lying simply because he didn't like being married to me would I say. "Yay, I'm on your team! I love the way that you handled our break up!"

Or, to make it less personal, if I saw a friend do that, would I say, good work, buddy! The answer is a definite NO!

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If it turns out that that's what happened, then I agree. But it was not my impression that there was no consideration of her feelings, and she effectively shut down honest communications between them. I don't expect her to love how he handled it, and I don't either, but she was also clearly aware of the problems between them and instead of trying to open up communication, she just decided a baby would make things better. He was also clearly depressed and probably not making the most clear-headed decisions of his life, and it's obvious he regrets hurting her like that.

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did we get any flashback scene that showed him trying to talk to her about how he was feeling about her actions? and later how he was feeling miserable? because I don't think they showed anything like that. and also because he never said anything that hara was only now revisiting their old moments and realizing how self centered she was and how she didn't see how miserable he was.

both of them have issues they should understand and improve before trying to be in a relationship. I like the drama and the topics they're bringing, but it's still a Korean drama so I would bet both of them will eventually """fix"""" their downsides and trying to be together once again, dating at first.

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Phew I thought I was the only one who still didn't like the ML 😅. I think it's a combination of 'ends don't justify the means' and how utterly selfish he is. He chose the coward's way out when he needed it and then casually told the truth (in a public forum of all places) when he needed to come clean. The FL is irrelevant to him. He made her miserable for years with the affair lie and then made her miserable in a whole new way by telling the truth.

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I still like the character, but I agree with you. I was a bit confused with the drama bcs in general I think they showed him as pathetic and want us to think he's pathetic in a way. however, I also think the show should have had hara or her friend/CEO to also say it? that he's pathetic to act like that instead of trying to communicate? like he's also at fault for not talking. in the end, the drama just made hara realize her flaws, which is fine, but also made her almost entirely the cause of their divorce?

from the flashbacks, we can see the annoyance and how ridiculous their marriage was, but we didn't see him trying to talk to her at all about these issues. he just nods, go with her antics and gets more depressed. I like the conversations this drama is bringing, but I think they lost a bit of balance here. I feel like the drama put everything that made their marriage fail in hara's lap.

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I’ve been trying to figure out how the drama wants me to feel about our characters right now. Do they want me to be almost fully Team ML? As a contrast to last week when folks were mostly Team FL? I’m honestly not sure, but that’s where I am. It’s really interesting to read @missvictrix's perspective, because it’s almost completely different from mine! What Eun-beom did was not great and I’m not defending it, but the divorce laws in Korea don’t seem to allow for no-fault divorces, so it honestly makes sense that people would occasionally fake an affair to get one. And after seeing all the ugly sides of Ha-ra this week, I find myself on his side in all this. I fully believe he tried to stand up for his side at the beginning of their marriage, but that her temper flaring would have eventually made him realize that fighting with her was pointless.

I was totally incensed with almost everything she did regarding the case this week. Not sure I’m willing to give her that hall pass. Most of it was not legal, let alone ethical. Her snide remarks to his client (who he told her point-blank was not his date), weaseling her way onto the case as opposing counsel, drugging him, accepting evidence that her friend stole from his office and showing it to her client, getting so mad when she sees him with his client that she doesn’t try to talk things out outside the courtroom, and not speaking up when she knew her client was going to flee the country. Did I miss anything? I did like her more when she apologized to the SML (whose name I can’t remember because I find him fairly bland) and when she was reflecting on her own part in the marriage failing.

I’m glad the truth about their divorce came out fairly quickly, and I did enjoy her trying to guess the reason he felt he needed to take such drastic measures and hitting every single one of the noble idiocy reasons Beanies mentioned last week. That’s not what we want and the show knows it! And it’s good that she finally had a chance to think about what their relationship was like from his perspective, but it’s such a bummer that it took all of this to make that happen.

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I’m not willing to give Ha-ra a hall pass. I’m sure it’s because I’m a lawyer but the ethical violations this week were too much. I had to turn off episode 4 and come back to it because I was seething.

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I could look the other way for smaller things, but she was so out of line so many times! Please, Show, just give me one blatant ethics violation per episode. It's way too much.

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I have to admit that when she had someone go into the ML's office and grab something off his desk that definitely got a loud "WTF" out of me.

That being said I think that the harm is mitigated by the fact that we have, I suspect, been seriously misled by Kdrama writers about judicial procedure in the ROK. We are consistently told that one can ambush the other side by springing new evidence on the court and the other party in the middle of the trial. I am reasonably certain that in real life our FL would already have received a copy of what was taken from the ML's office as a regular part of pre-trial discovery (that boring watching paint drying on the wall stuff that makes up most of a lawyer's life in reality).

Yes, last minute evidence can suddenly appear but, when it does, the first thing the judge does is stop the trial, require that a copy (or the name and phone number of the new witness) be provided to the other party and ask the other party if they need to adjourn the trial to give the other side time to examine the evidence and prepare a response. Which becomes super awkward if it is a jury trial and the judge, who is only human after all, may never forgive the miscreant lawyer who tried pulling this stunt.

This is not only true in my country but pretty much everywhere outside of a few authoritarian regimes. Although I am not a member of the South Korean Bar I am fairly sure it is true there also. Few countries tolerate trial by ambush.

This fact is further strengthened by the very practical fact that, when all of the parties possess all of the evidence ahead of the trial the likelihood of a compromise being reached, and a settlement signed goes way up.

All of which is simply a roundabout way of saying that our FL should have already had a copy of the evidence before the trial happened- and that the ML likewise should have had a copy of what she planned to submit in rebuttal as well. Allowing their personal conversation about their own marriage and what really happened to take place in a much more suitable place than before a judge presiding over someone else's custody battle.

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Point taken (and thanks for your insight and expertise!). I was also just annoyed with how much she let her personal feelings dictate how she treated the case, and the depths to which she was willing to stoop to spite Eun-beom. I know I just need to do a better job of ignoring the law procedural parts, but episode 3 was hard for me. Renewed resolve for next week!

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Interesting reading and even more fascinating reading the comments section under the article. I think the issues raised in this article were explored in Kim Jiyoung born 1982. Certain elements like the work hours, and gender politics are raised in passing in several dramas. The Japanese drama He’s expecting used a novel way to explore some of the gender and practical issues around pregnancy and parenthood.

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I'm enjoying this show very much, but episode 4 really hit me. I'm someone who always reads the last page of a book first to see if I want to read the entire book, so I'm wishing so much that I knew how this series ends before I continue watching each episode.
That aside, did I really see in episode 2 (?) that when the female lead visited her family, her father called to say he couldn't come home for her mother's/his wife's birthday? That is a sure sign in Kdrama that he's having an affair....and the female lead is so positive of her parents' perfect marriage, too. Hopefully my memory of that scene is incorrect.

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I think that was in episode 3, but you're right, he was pretty casual about her birthday. I wonder if you're on to something.

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yeah, I think the father missing the bday was kinda of a red herring. especially after her mom's comment about how amazing he is and hara saying that she would be re-married by now if she had met someone like her dad. I think it was too positive and both of them would end up having a huge disappointment (and then our ML will probably be hara's mom lawyer in a possible divorce suit)

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My real life experiences cause me to have a different view than most. I don’t like Ha-ra. I think she’s immature and a terrible and unprofessional lawyer. It’s disappointing, because I wish she had earned her “Goddess of Litigation” title honestly. I like her less after Episode 4. I’m not moved by her new romance, either. She doesn’t need people in her circle affirming her narcissism; she needs them to tell her the truth so she can get her act together.
I totally get why Eun-bum wanted out. I’ve been there. Marriage to a control freak is MISERABLE. It kills your soul and you begin to lose yourself. It is much better to be alone. At this point in the drama, I don’t want Ha-ra and Eun-bum back together. From what I’ve seen so far, I think he’s kinder than she and deserves to be with someone who will appreciate him.

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THANK YOU. Ha-Ra seems to be the source of many of her own problems. I do want to see her grow, but at this point I'm glad she was forced to look in the mirror.

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Thanks for sharing. I have been interested in the fact that no one has mentioned Hara consistently physically assaulting Eunbum.

Hara is an intelligent woman who works in a field where good communication is an essential skill yet she loses all sense of basic control and professionalism when she is around Eunbum. The characterisation of Hara in the marriage was also very negative who would want to be married to someone who switches the channel part way through a film, doesn’t share in the household tasks in a way that works for both of them and insists on their physical needs being prioritised. Temperature issues, the division of household tasks and different interests and sleep patterns are common hot spots in a lot of couple relationships and it’s how the couple chooses to manage their differences that determines how the relationship will be experienced by each of them.

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@smulawyer I'm responding to you not because I disagree, but just because you hit upon an issue that makes this show a problem for me. Its plot is really tragic portrait of marriage, where there is a semi-realistic breakup, and then two flawed people move on. I do think you are being way too kind to Eun-bum, not because he wanted out of the marriage, but because of the cowardly way he handled it. That's not kind, that's self-centered and cruel. But you are absolutely right about Ha-ra

The problem with this relationship is that its being played as a semi-romantic comedy, where we are supposed to root for both of them to have happy romantic endings. I can see the female lead being happy eventually with the SML, flaws and all, but as also a non-fan of the ML, at the very least I think he is not suited for a romantic relationship and does not, in my opinion "deserve" one.

So I can't really enjoy this show they way I would a traditional romantic comedy, and yet I can't appreciate it the way you would a bittersweet or tragic portrait of a failed relationship. I realize this is my issue, but the attempt to make this a"light" show really bothers me, and so I'm going to quit watching.

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Despite some differences of opinion, overall, I agree with you, @hacja.
Yes, in a perfect world, you talk through your problems with your spouse. I'm letting Eun-bum off the hook because I've been in his shoes. In my experience, a person with control issues will not listen to reason or accept responsibility for their actions. At this point, we don't know if Eun-bum did try to talk to Ha-ra about their problems or if he felt it would not matter anyway. After the child's accident, Ha-ra shifted responsibility to the mom when he was upset with her for not telling him about her client's plans to take the child away. By that logic, let's blame Eve for listening to the snake and taking a bite of the apple.
But I have always appreciated and respected your comments, so I'll leave it there. As I said, my real-life experiences color my opinions.
Where we agree is that this drama is attempting to make this a light show when it is not. Episode 1 gave us that impression, but the tone has changed. I, too, am considering not watching anymore.

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I certainly did not mean for anything in my comment to apply to your real life situation. I am in total sympathy with you on that!

But back to the show, and my "dislike" of the character, I think @oldawyer is probably quite right, that at least some of his flaws as a spouse will be shown to be the result of past trauma.
And that would all be fine, as well, if the show had been set up differently.

Its not that I don't think the comic and the serious can be blended, its just that this show isn't doing it in the right way for me. Divorce is intrinsically sad. It doesn't have to be tragic, and in fact in many real life circumstances it is the best course of action. But its not by itself amusing--we need the characters to be self-centered or conflicting in funny ways, which isn't happening here. Yet this show seems to assume that we will generally find the law firm antics and even a lot of the interaction of the leads as chuckle worthy, even as they deal with the betrayal of infidelity and the cruelty of spousal abuse. There is also from time to time a "humorous" musical backing--kind of bouncy woodwinds--behind the scenes that don't seem to merit it.

I have watched some divorce comedies that are light and not depressing--the classic The Philadelphia Story comes to mind. But this one isn't striking that tone for me.

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I too thought of THE PHILADELPHIA STORY when I decided to watch this show. This is not that story re-told.

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This drives me nuts also. The way the show made light of serious issues made me flew in rage. There are ways to make the comedy and heavy stuffs work well, such Saikou no Rikon, but this drama just aint it.

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I did not take your comments personally! No worries on that, my friend. It’s all good.
Yes! The Philadelphia Story! I could not think of the name of the movie. I too was hoping this drama would be like that. Maybe it will turn itself around. 🙃🤞🏼

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I never thought a k-drama, coming from an industry notoriously renowned to pump content to be viewed with rose-tinted glasses, would be raising such tough questions about marriage. The legal setting, as terribly as it's done, is a necessary back-drop for discussion, because marriage is a union that also involves the law and the government.
At what point is it okay to prioritize the 'me' over the 'us'? The 100th time the 'dishes' start bothering you? The 1000th time? :O

I'm shocked just how many of my friends & family, both from the 'madly in love' camp as well as the 'societal pressure' gang have jumped into marriage, without knowing what and how the exit route is. The 'kid thing' has already happened to my brother... my sister-in-law wants a baby, but he doesn't. They've been married for 11 years since they were 23. -__-

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Can I say it? I don't like Ha-Ra. (And I think that's the point.)

Ha-Ra is overbearing and unprofessional, has anger management issues, and has put herself on a hero pedestal. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to berate Eun-Bum about attorney-client privilege after she and her friend literally snooped in his office to steal case documents to use against him in court. I was seething during that scene and the subsequent fallout. She had the public reveal of her divorce coming, and I didn't feel bad when it happened in court after all she did.

Like I said before, I think the drama is purposely making Ha-Ra this way, and we do it a disservice by giving her unwavering support just because she's the FL. Eun-Bum is no saint either, but we shouldn't automated hate him just because he divorced the FL.

I have sympathy for Eun-Bum because marriage can be hard. It's so easy to just do the dishes at night because your partner wants to rest, but then suddenly it's 3 years later and you're still doing the dishes every night. But then you look petty bringing it up. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" "I wanted you to rest..." "But if it bothered you, you should've said so!" "Well, I didn't mind..." "So why are you bringing it up?" And on and on. It's never really about the dishes.

Aren't communication and finances the most common reasons for divorce? It's so easy as outsiders to say that they should've went to therapy and talked more, but was that realistic for their situation? Ha-Ra admits to herself (which I loved) that she would've never let it go. So should they just have stayed in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, and then bring a child into that situation?!

I see it as this started off as a "it's no one's fault that the relationship failed" type of divorce. But with Korea's laws, it wasn't easy to do that. I don't believe that Eun-Bum went about their divorce the right way. (And I loved how he said he's responsible for the consequences of his choice.) But I do believe that they needed to divorce.

I do hope both leads learn from the situation and become better people. They each needed a wake-up call in how to navigate life, and I hope that positive change is coming. Hopefully with fewer actions that lead to getting disbarred.

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The one thing I wish he did differently is to come clean to her when he met her after two years and saw her still angry and haven’t moved on. Since he got his divorce, he could have come clean and given her a chance to move on. May be he thought blaming him would be easier for her to move on than actually coming to terms with her ‘flaws’.
Is sure is complicated isn’t it. That’s why one can never say why exactly a marriage falls apart. And you are absolutely right - It’s never really about the dishes.

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I think this is where he is at fault. After 2+ years if he still couldn't tell the truth, he should have never joined the firm where she is working or he should have done remote working and visit the office only when necessary, but I do not know if that's possible because they will always need to refer to mountains of paper work.

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Love your comment. I dropped this drama because I detested FL's anger and immaturity and I could feel the show wanted the audience to like and agree with her and I could imagine many people would do it. The guy was also acting crazy so it was too stupid to even bother but I'm glad that drama chose the fake cheating explanation and still some people were understanding of that.

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It is true that finances are the most common cause of divorce with the fundamental cause of that in turn being communication. The two actually go hand in hand in most cases. Adultery is the next most common reason and spousal abuse is a distant fourth.

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I agree with your comment in the sense that I liked Ha-Ra less after the reveal because I began to reinterpret her previous behaviors (the anger, the forcefulness, etc.). While Eun-Bum went about the divorce the wrong way, like so unbelievably wrong, I could sense the desperation. And, truth be told, my issue early on with this drama was the way he related to her compared to others. It made me so uncomfortable, but I couldn’t figure out why. Now I’m thinking it’s a combination of his passivity and her domineering ways. I don’t want to overstate that or make it seem like these characters can be reduced to these characteristics, BUT theirs was clearly a giver and a taker dynamic, and that’s not a healthy one. In truth, they’re both at fault. They’re both acting out the self in different ways. He hide his true self until taking selfish, drastic action. She pursued her way all along, which is selfish. For some reason I’m most bothered by her… and I’m not sure what that’s about…

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Thanks @missvictrix for this weecap. This drama is a fascinating watch as a family therapist. I am loving the various perspectives discussed in the comments section and can totally understand why for some it’s a NO.

I was watching episode 4 in the airport arrivals lounge while waiting for my taxi to arrive and must have intrigued a lot of people by my reactions as I could not contain myself at certain points🤣

I think they are really doing a great job of using the cases to explore the issues within the main couple’s relationship but the actual things they do as lawyers are getting increasingly ridiculous and pull me out of the drama at points. It reminds me of Ally McBeal in some ways with her imagination and the way the various characters in the firm interact with each other.

‘The whole plot line with CEO Seo wanting them to drop honorifics — and then Bi-chwi going at it full steam ahead calling him super informally — was hilarious’ 👈I was crying with laughter throughout.

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I am also intrigued by Seohee’s willingness to support Eunbum’s idea of the fake affair. I am looking forward to hearing the story about the child that was mentioned in the 4th episode and how that has impacted on Eunbum.
I also want to see how Eunbum chooses to live when money worries are no longer impacting on his quality of life.

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You’re a family therapist??? Um can we talk about this couple from Bowen’s family systems lens???

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First, I agree that Fake Adultery was both lame and a cruel way to end this marriage. Actually, one reason why some people cheat is to end their marriage- it is the one time when the victim of the adultery does not have control of what comes next for the relationship. Which explains why he chose this ridiculous and hurtful method.

If you caught what Seo-Hee said then you know that we actually have not heard the real story yet. There is a trauma that Eun-beum went through- one that happened to a child of her daughter's age.

As one sided as their relationship was- with Ha-ra seldom accommodating her man while he always gave way to her- that is not why he did what he did. Her planning for a baby triggered that trauma and that caused Eun-beum to panic which explains this hare-brained piece of idiocy- it has all the hallmarks of a panic reaction. While it is a great thing that she now sees that their relationship was out of balance the real problem was a trauma that Eun-beom had never really dealt with.

But now, just as Ha-ra has decided to date her new guy it appears that Seo-hee has reached out to Eun-beum to make a real relationship beyond the simple friendship which was really all that they had before. Forget the 'first love' thing- that was just part of the story he told Ha-ra- It is Ha-ra who was his first love.

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Hmmm, it was a heavy week for K-drama land. I don't want to know what team everyone is on now but I want to say my mind too.
I'm someone admittedly of low self-esteem and what happened to Ha-ra would have torned me to pieces. Watching this made me afraid, first I can't read minds and I'm imperfect. When you can't handle my imperfections please tell me, Ha-ra was bossy and overbearing but she did not deserve all this.
I hate to say this, but it's better if they go their separate ways for good. He did not love her, he hated her imperfections, it made him regret everything. The hate he had swelled to the point that he would do anything for a way out. When he was asked to choose between getting her back or setting her up with someone else to end the alimony, he chose the easiest way because after all, he never cared of her feelings. The drama should stop making him look as if he still loves her. He does not, if not that holding the lie of cheating would ruin Ki seo-hee's chances of winning the case, he never would have said the truth. If he is so desperate to prove the truth, why not spit it out then and if better separate. When you love someone, you do not have to love their imperfections, if you are being forced to take what your stomach hates, your body will pull it out. It's left for you to fix it and work toward it. It's better if they remain strangers and I sincerely hope he finds happiness again.
Whether Ha-ra choose to date again or remain single now, let her do it. That I'm watching her does not give me the right to judge her choices.

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I give up. I'm putting this drama on hold despite my love for the main actors.

Both the main leads made me scratch my head terribly, tho at this point I hate ML more than FL for these reasons:
1. He opted to lie about having affair instead of, you know, trying to communicate with her about his issues? Has he even tried this FIRST before opting for a fake affair option?
2. After a lie that basically hurt the person that he supposed to love, he forced his way back to her life (I forgave him for this actually because I gave him a benefit of a doubt that it was out of desperation) and you know what he did first after he joined the law firm? He arranged for a blind date between his ex-wife and friend and just sprung it to her face without thinking about her feelings? Bro, what the hell is wrong with you?
- If that's not enough, he intercepted her client/friend and insert himself to the case? Double wtf?!
- Still not enough? he took the case from his supposed "other woman" to the law firm of his ex-wife because apparently there is no other lawyer in Seoul? Sure Seo Hee may trust him more, but he could find someone that he trusts to handle the case if he worries that much?!
- Not enough rubbing salt to ex-wife's wound? He announced in PUBLIC that the whole affair was fake because he hated her guts so much that he'd rather pay alimony that almost bankrupted him than lived with her. And he let the cats out of the bag because he wanted to protect his case/reputation of the "other woman"?! Have you ever loved your ex-wife even? Or respect her person?

Yes, Hara did terribly and unprofessionally in her dealing with the whole custody case, and I hate her for that, but when I see it in the context of everything that Eun Beom has basically shoved at her since ep 1, I can see where she comes from even though I cannot emphatize with her decisions.

The way the drama made light of the whole fake affair by making Hara seemed to be sooo unbearable and crazy made me think whether the writer hates women? First we have two female adulterers back to back in ep 1 and 2, then we have Hara went batshit crazy in ep 3 and 4. For a supposed litigation goddess, she strangely needs to be spoon-fed by Eun-Beom in ep 1 and making all the poor choices in ep 3 and 4. Like, WTF writer?! The whole plot in ep 3 and 4 left me with a very bitter after taste.

I dont think any of the characters are ready for the relationship right now. If I am Hara, after such a public humiliation, I would move to a different law firm. She is after all a litigation goddess, why shd she stayed in the same environment with the person that brings the worst of her personality? The way she calmly handled the whole things made my heart ache and in fury. No matter how dominant she is, she does not deserved to be humiliated twice like this by someone that she has years of relationship with.

The SML is making me a bit uncomfortable with his "obsession" to Hara. How he is...

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Cont...

The SML is making me a bit uncomfortable with his "obsession" to Hara. How he is comfortable dating his friend's ex-wife is beyond me.

Eun Beom dont deserve to be in any relationship right now especially with Seo Hee, because it's just v.2 where he lets his kindness be the basis for the relationship. Until he knows how to stand his ground without using manipulative tactics or lies, I dont see how he can enter healthy relationship.

Seo Hee, girl, you have a daughter that you have no contact for years who have just survived a nearly fatal accident, whose father lives abroad. Focus on that instead of bringing another person in your relationship with your daughter just to ease your path. Havent you learned your lessons? SMH.

End of rants, urghhhhhh....

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Soo I have to be honest, I have this thing in romance dramas where I love when the ML rejects or hurts the FL and then FL pulls away from him, while ML eventually comes to change his tune (Another Miss Oh is one I love like this). It gets me in the feels every time. I got that vibe from ep 4, and it was enough to keep me hooked. The fact that the FL knows ML would rather be poor and paying a ton of alimony than stay married to her? The ANGST. I hope she treats him as a stranger now.

I understand why people don't want the ML and FL back together, but this is a romance drama and I am not okay with romance dramas not having the main leads end up together. I expect them to end up together and, if that does not happen, I will feel misled. I do not watch romance dramas for realistic or bittersweet endings. Plus, they're getting with the second leads too quickly for it to last.

Also, a relative of mine had a marriage where he did all of the housework and never got his way, and rather than actually TALKING about it just built up resentment until finally he ended up having an affair. The marriage ended when he got caught, and a lot of us wonder if he got caught on purpose. So, I actually find this twist super realistic and relatable.

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Man, so many comments so fast haha
I'm about to be swallowed up but I guess everyone, like me, had a lot of thoughts after seeing this week's episodes. I don't even know where to start.

First off, through this show I realized just how important and impactful the concept of no fault divorce is. I am hoping all the cases in this show don't involve adultry or custody cases (that throw in a mention of domestic violence). Like are those the only reasons people break up a marriage, cheating or violence?

I kinda went on a journey over these episodes because less than 10 minutes into episode 3, I was tempted to call it quits with this show and just read recaps (or forget about this show entirely) but I wanted to know if there was more to Eun Bum's story so I stuck it out haha. It was hard because I was really disliking both leads during episode 3. I *really* didn't like Ha Ra getting involved in a custody case just to stick it to him. Those situations are already messy for the kids and now here she comes bringing in her own vendetta. I didn't like how bumbling Eun Bom seemed to be. I don't know if we're really supposed to believe he was drugged so he would oversleep (I wouldn't necessarily not believe it but it would just make me feel for him more) but I guess he's had this aspect to his personality from the beginning.

We already knew she wasn't over him but it's been a couple of years now so she definitely wasn't owned any explanations about why they were at a resturant or why she was leaving his apartment. In that moment, I was kinda right along with Seo Hee when she called her out on that. Plus Ha Ra kept mentioning him being used which just made me think of sloppy seconds and I just felt like that was offensive to anyone with exes (herself included).

Episode 4 was better for me because I felt that captured a feeling that many people nowadays are feeling and are dismissed or shamed for feeling. Some people just aren't meant for the married life. I just really thought Eun Bum trying to explain his point but not being quite being understood because others couldn't relate was so on point.

I get his coworker is old fashioned but seriously, the things he says sometimes such as having a baby would've made things better. He's so naive (and it's not endearing to me. Well, after his hook up, I totally saw him thinking they should officially meet each other's parents coming haha that was so innocent haha) but I get that he's also supposed to represent a certain type of conservative mindset and "return to the good ole days".

I honestly just saw there was some study or article about couples who marry without living together first are more "durable" and episode 4 showed an example of exactly why that might not work. They dated for a decade but apparently they still had enough space from each other they didn't see how incompatible they were living together and how they were on different wavelengths. Such as she...

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...was thinking about kids and he was feeling beaten down and miserable. He didn't want to get into arguments with her because she became someone one he didn't recognize (which was kinda a sign of things to come when she became a woman scorned). I'm sure there are comments about how this could've all been avoided by communicating but that can often be easier said than done. And how exactly do you say "I still love you/have feelings for you but I can't standing being married to you"?

I don't know where this show is going but I'm really hoping they aren't going to date other people just to somehow realize they're really meant to be together after all but *this* time with more communication, consideration, and compromise (again, I wouldn't be surprised). Another option I could see happening is they get remarried but to other people (because these people get them).

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I have been reading a lot of these comments and actually hoping that this show will resolve itself in a more refreshing manner than the two leads getting back together. What about a love square where the leads move on, and our FL ends up married to the 2ML- who seems not only nice but perhaps better able to communicate with her while she has perhaps learned a valuable lesson about mutual accommodation between the partners in a relationship. Meanwhile maybe our ML can get together with Seo-hee, who seems to actually understand her old friend (they probably grew up in the same neighborhood), and the two of them can heal from their respective traumas together. We can hope that our ML has learned something about the need to communicate from his first marriage as well.

I also did not like that Ha-ra literally tracked down the father so that she could get involved in the custody case. That was unprofessional to the absolute max. A real lawyer needs to be and remain objective in the assessment and prosecution of the case in order to best protect the interests of the client. I cannot think that the actual outcome that we saw at the end of episode 4 was the best possible outcome for either the parents or he child. Given that the father needed to move to San Francisco for his new coaching position- undoubtedly a better job than he could get in Korea- it would have been better to approach the whole thing as a peace negotiation rather than total war. Given that this young child did not want to go to a foreign land perhaps some sort of arrangement where she stays with her mom but goes for an extended visit a couple times a year to stay with dad could have been the result- even one beneficial to the growth of the child who would gain from the experience of time spent overseas in another place without the feeling of being totally uprooted, since she would always know that she would be returning to her home. Above all, the child would continue to receive love from both of her parents.

But no, "A custody battle always means war" declares our Goddess Of Litigation. All I can say is Lord have pity on her clients, and on the other counsel and judges who must deal with her. She forgets that in such litigation- where the parents cannot possibly avoid being extremely emotional- one of the things that the client buys when retaining counsel is having someone there for them who can be calm, objective and levelheaded in the middle of all of the shouting. That is why taking on the father as a client was so completely wrong ethically.

I also cannot believe that Ha-ra's friend may have drugged our ML so that he would oversleep. How disgusting if that is what happened, and criminal to boot. If it really happened, then I hope that she gets a major comeuppance.

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Whoever is writing the legal side of this drama needs to reconsider their job. It's a trainwreck and dangerously misleading.

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I have a hypothesis about the 'legal' side of the show: That the writer does not have a technical advisor at all. Instead, we are being served a steady diet of every misguided thing that the writer has ever seen in a k-drama featuring the law.

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I happen to know that in fact the great majority of Korean divorces are effectively no fault: They are by mutual agreement. Fault is only needed when one spouse refuses the divorce- and our drama makes it clear that Eun-beum believed that would be the case with Ha-ra and thus faked adultery to change her mind (in the end it was still divorce by agreement because Ha-ra no longer wanted to be married to her 'cheating husband').

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