Bros on Foot: Episode 3

by stroopwafel

Our cast continues to be challenged by a mission where they’ll need all the perseverance they can muster. At least they’ll have majestic views and each other for company. As two variety newbies acclimate to the harsh world of varietyland quickly, one of them shows off a hidden talent and a secret weapon.

 
EPISODE 3 WEECAP

Fresh off of finishing the Mount John trail, the guys are presented with a fast and simple allowance mission. It’s a simple game of chance: there are eight numbers to choose from and each number corresponds to a prize, with some prizes being much better than others (for example, $100, or a meat pie). They’ll be playing two rounds for two days’ worth of allowance money on the line since they won’t be stopping for groceries for two days.

Jung-woo dreams of pork — and granola — so he tries to calculate how much they need to win to have two days worth of food. Ji-hoon somehow accurately remembers the prices of all the various groceries they had to pass on the day before and they realize they’ll need to win at least $100. Min-ho goes first and ends up with only $5. Jung-woo looks grim when Ji-hoon then ends up winning just $20. He goes next — and draws $100!

They’re overjoyed, and Min-ho wraps him in a big hug, saying, “Seriously, I love you.” Ji-hoon grabs Jung-woo’s hands and solemnly cheers, “Mamma mia.” When Jin-gu only gets $1, his hyungs tell him it’s okay and that he should hold onto it as a souvenir lol. Round two begins and Jung-woo steps up, saying he has a good feeling about his chances. Unbelievably, he’s right — he gets $100 again. How is he so lucky? He’s like an inverse Lee Kwang-soo. In total they pick up $236, apples, and red chili flakes.

At the supermarket they’re in high spirits and Ji-hoon brags that he’s just going to toss items in the cart heh. Truly, their cart overfloweth. Various meats, granola for Jung-woo, soy milk, white wine, and other essentials for the next two days fill the cart and they have a few dollars left over. (I want that adorable Kiwi bird coin purse that Jin-gu’s sporting btw.)

With their shopping done they drive off Lake Pukaki, which is home to a long and easy walking path. They plan to have a quick lunch lakeside before tackling the trail. Deciding they need a caffeine boost, they decide to spend the last of their money on coffee at the lake’s visitor center but they make a bittersweet discovery. The visitor center sells drinks, but also fresh alpine salmon (one of the things Pukaki is famous for). Rubbing salt into their wounds, the center even has perfect accompaniment to sushi: chogochujang. The guys stare at each other sadly when they see they can’t afford the salmon because they went all out at the supermarket.

Jung-woo gives up quickly and exits altogether, while Ji-hoon wanders in front of the glass case of salmon, clutching his supermarket sandwich. Min-ho flat out asks Lee PD to buy them salmon. Ji-hoon pipes up that it’s not for them, it’s for the youth. They need to show the viewing public and any young people who may visit New Zealand that they too can buy chogochujang and salmon at the lake. Their whole faux nonchalance is hilarious, and Ji-hoon even protests that he normally never buys sushi and isn’t a fan of it generally, but he’s thinking of the viewers. The real kicker is when Ji-hoon suddenly drops to one knee and asks if begging on their knees would help. Min-ho’s in lockstep and suddenly they’re both giving Lee PD full-body bows on the floor lol.

Lee PD rushes to bow with them and hurriedly tells them to stop and that she’ll buy them salmon. (I love that they’re using signs of respect as a weapon against Lee PD lol — Ji-hoon is such a quick study.) At some point in all this, Jung-woo’s wandered back in and pretends not to see his dongsaengs shaking down the crew lol. He’s clearly cheering them on silently and when he sees their success, he asks if they couldn’t get two bottles of Pepsi on the staff tab. Lee PD protests. After all, Pepsi’s sold in Korea, too, but the guys put on a convincing show of never having heard of Pepsi before. It works, and they settle down for a lunch of supermarket sandwiches, fresh alpine salmon, and chogochujang (plus Pepsi).

The salmon is, unsurprisingly, delicious and they can’t believe they’re eating somewhere that’s as beautiful as Pukaki. But eldest hyung Jung-woo has a lot on his mind — it’s already 4pm and he’s feeling the time pressure again. He tells Jin-gu, “Take your time eating,” but can’t hold back his laughter because he knows his words have the opposite effect here. Aw, Jin-gu bolts up as soon as Jung-woo speaks, and says he was taking his last bite. Jung-woo pats him on the back and promises to buy him whatever he wants to eat, and even groceries, when they’re back in Korea.

Though they’re still far short of the 120,000 step goal, if all goes well, they should reach the count by midnight. Despite being worried about the time, they do take time to take a few photos on the trail, and really the lake is so beautiful it would’ve been a shame not to pause at all. Heh, Jung-woo launches into an improv skit with his selfie camera, pretending to be a tour guide. He introduces lake expert Joo Ji-hoon and asks to hear about the lake’s characteristics. Ji-hoon, among other things, tells us the lake’s MBTI profile. Jin-gu gets the next turn, as a glacier expert.

Last but not least is Min-ho, and he uses his time to explain that he’s with the members of “the new SHINee.” Though New SHINee’s average age has shot up, they’ll be getting ready to show fans new songs and dances, ha. Jung-woo doesn’t miss a beat, and throws it back to Ji-hoon, introducing him as the group’s leader and asks him to do the robot, so Ji-hoon busts a move.

When the sun starts to set, they decide to turn back and split into pairs. Jung-woo explains to his selfie cam that he’s going to run and walk back to the SUV for maximum efficiency, and then just starts going.

Once he’s running you can see Jin-gu following after him like a little duckling, and a trail of staff running after Jin-gu lol. Jung-woo calls out to Jin-gu, telling him not to overexert himself. (I love that in the background you can see the cameramen stop because they’re struggling to keep up too ha.) At one point, they walk together while Jin-gu catches his breath, and Jung-woo explains his plan: they’ll alternate running and walking back to the SUV.

Thus begins the run-walk mission of Jin-gu’s life. He looks absolutely exhausted and his baseball cap is even soaked through with sweat, but he does his best to keep pace. Jung-woo’s a bit of a showman too, and whenever he spots a cameraman along the trail, he tells Jin-gu to run for the cameras lol. Amazingly, Jung-woo has also managed to constantly film with his selfie cam and talk all through the running and walking. I don’t understand how Jung-woo looks so completely fine despite all the run-walking, and Jin-gu also seems to be puzzled. He even asks how Jung-woo is managing to hold the camera and film while they run-walk. Jung-woo chuckles, “This will be a good memory.”

Then we have Min-ho and Ji-hoon, who are just strolling along the path. Min-ho refers to themselves as the Romance Troops (who are walking for the vibes), while the other two are the Steel Troops (going for as many steps as possible). The Romance Troops worry about Jin-gu and if he’ll be able to keep up. Though they’re in constant motion, they’re really savoring all the beauty and the nature around them. Min-ho says Lake Pukaki could inspire poems; in total agreement Ji-hoon launches into a poem:

“Ring ding dong
Ring ding dong
Ring digi digi
ding ding dong”

The Steel Troops have nearly reached the trailhead so the end is in view for poor, exhausted Jin-gu. He tells Jung-woo that he’s picturing the viewers at home watching this and the thought of them cheering him on to the finish line (plus having Jung-woo with him) is what’s keeping him going. The sun sets fully and even in the darkness Jung-woo walks with his sunglasses on. Jin-gu wonders what the other two are up to. Jung-woo figures that it’ll be totally dark on the trail now, so they won’t be able to walk.

Yup! All Ji-hoon and Min-ho have are light-up arm bands and their cellphones to illuminate their faces. They act the part of stranded trekkers and beg for help, explaining that they wanted to enjoy the romance of the trail but now they’re lost. They can barely see the path but they don’t have to worry about finding their way since the Steel Troops are on their way to pick them up.

Jung-woo drives to their new campsite, which is next to UNESCO heritage site Mount Cook. There are more facilities compared to their last site, including a shared kitchen, so there’s no need to worry about firewood. They grab the groceries and that’s when they discover that the chogochujang has spilled all over. It even got on Jung-woo’s precious granola and he makes a joke about it being the fault of the bad driver (a.k.a. him) as he cleans up the box. Luckily, the granola itself is fine and he discards the granola’s “jacket” (the box).

Ji-hoon is tonight’s main chef and he’s planning on making spicy stir-fried pork from scratch along with store-bought chicken kebabs. Ji-hoon then proudly announces he has a secret weapon. That makes Lee PD’s ears perk up, and Ji-hoon unveils a big ziplock bag full of spices and condiments, including kimchi seasoning. Lee PD refrains from confiscating the bag but she does ask Ji-hoon to confess now if he’s packed any other surprises. Before he can speak, Jung-woo cuts in, “Don’t say anything… Don’t fall for it!” He tells Ji-hoon that the staff are making things harder on them because they are variety newbies and the staff can be mean.

Everyone gets to work and Chef Ji-hoon moves over to the griddle to cook. He looks at home in the kitchen, and he talks about how he’s been cooking since he was a kid and learned all he knows from watching his parents cook. He eyeballs all the spice measurements and there’s this very cute moment where he’s shaking salt out over the pork and even his cheeks shake lol. While the others are cooking, or peeling, or slicing, Jung-woo cleans up as they go, picking up after everyone and putting everything back in its place while sipping wine.

The pork gets rave reviews from the guys; Jin-gu’s extra impressed by how Ji-hoon managed to bring out all these flavors with the limited ingredients he had at hand. Jung-woo can’t handle spicy food normally but even he is enjoying the stir-fry. It’s surprising, as he has a tough image, but he can’t handle chili peppers or even Shin ramyun. Ji-hoon chimes in that he was surprised that Jung-woo picked out Shin ramyun at the supermarket and he asks why. The answer? “It was cheap.” Much cheaper than the brand he normally eats, so he decided to buy for the team instead of thinking of himself.

Jung-woo even passed on salami (another food he loves) because he’d be the only one to eat it. Min-ho tells him he should have gotten it anyway to which Jung-woo shakes his head. But Ji-hoon says they’ll win more money tomorrow and Min-ho tells him they’ll buy salami then. Jung-woo’s touched and says, “Man, Min-ho, Jin-gu…” Ji-hoon cheekily points out, “You didn’t say my name.” Pfft. Jung-woo tsks that they’re already friends.

Since they don’t have any rice to complete the meal, Jung-woo suggests having some of the pork with a slice of bread. He knows it sounds weird but promises it’s delicious, and kind of like a soft taco. It turns out he and Ji-hoon both travel together a lot and cook all their meals while traveling so they’ve experimented with all sorts of dishes. Recently, while they were in Morocco for a shot they even made cuttlefish jeotgal. Whoa, that’s super labor intensive since it’s a salted seafood dish. Heh, Jin-gu asks if they make their food from scratch in Korea too and the hyungs answer in near unison that they just buy their food.

It’s minutes to midnight so they have a quick PPL moment with their Samsung smartwatches to tally their steps. Strangely, Jin-gu ends up having the lowest individual count, even after all that run-walking. He sadly pipes up and says he and Jung-woo even did run-walking and asks if Lee PD couldn’t add on some more steps to their tallies. Those puppy dog eyes! Jung-woo adds, “Give Jin-gu $200 dollars. C’mon, he’s the maknae.” Lee PD doesn’t hand out any cash, but she does agree to round up their total tally and that means they hit 150k steps for 11 Dream Tickets.

They end the night on that happy note, and everyone’s eager for sleep. In the morning, there’s no mission note waiting for them. Instead, Lee PD explains they’re going to visit the Hooker Valley track and receive their mission note there. Jin-gu reads out information about the trail, and when he mentions three swing bridges that connect the two halves of the path, Jung-woo’s head spins. “Hold on, swing bridges? Won’t they swing?” He even takes the pamphlet to read himself and worries that there’ll be something scary like bungee jumping there. Dun-dun-dun. (I am 100% certain there are some extreme sports in their near future.)

Epilogue
The allowance mission is over and the guys are happy with their results. Jung-woo assesses the leftover cash silently, and then suggests they help clean up. He surreptitiously pockets a few bills; Ji-hoon follows suit. The staff laugh and Lee PD asks them to hand it over. Min-ho tries to hold out and play innocent, but the hyungs fold quickly and return the cash. Ji-hoon: “I was just keeping it warm. I didn’t want it to get cold.”

 
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