hi fi chinguya... glad you felt the same...

It's ost were good but were badly placed,I watched pretty noona just cause of son yejin and jung hae in and this was first time I realised some kdramas are bad too
others being
Heir
Sisyphus
Memories of Alahmbara
Marriage lyrics/Love(ft marriage divorce) S1 why the heck I even started this one

I have long thought that this drama was never meant to be a traditional rom-com. Actually, it kind of reminds me of The Sound of Magic, in a way. The Magician was there as a catalyst, right, to shake up Ah-Yi and Il-Deung and bring hope and dreams and wonder to their lives. A rom-com is about the couple but this drama was about Jin-A. Oh I'm blanking on his name but Jae-ins character was Jin-As catalyst. He woke her up. She was in her repeating pattern of going to work, she had the awful boyfriend who was cheating on her and dumped be46. She was going through the motions. From her very first interaction with Jae-ins character he WOKE HER UP. And, like you said, brought out the best in her. He gave her the courage to try and shake things up instead of just accept them.. she stood up to her bosses and her parents and her friend. He gave her a strength that she didn't know that she had but then ...he wanted to runaway. He didn't want to fight --something that she could only fathom because of him--and by leaving he took it away. She didn't know how to stand on her own which is why when he came back she's not fighting the sexism and toxicity in her work anymore, she's back with a guy who doesn't love or appreciate her. And she's back to being deeply unhappy--but even moreso now because she doesn't even have her best friend anymore..that relationship was ruined when she fell in love with Jae-ins character.
I'm going to rewatch it. Only the first 8 though as I can't stand the middle and end but when you watch and listen to the lyrics Stand by Your Man really is Jin-As song about her relationship with everyone and everything, really. It's unhealthy. In the song the part they play the most is,
"you'll (either you singular or plural depending on the scene) have your hard times.and he'll have his good times doing things you don't understand. But if you love him be proud of him. After all he's just a man"

And I think that plays into the fact that he was more than "just a man" to her. He was her hope and her wakeup call. But he was also doing things that she didn't understand --wanting to runaway instead of fighting (what he encouraged her to do), wanting to stand in front of her instead of letting her stand in front of him. I think even the decision to use the country version of those song (I'm sure they could have found a different version or rerecorded it or something) was a way to show how different he was in her life and how at first it's a good thing and then as their relationship progresses it's a not so good thing. For my part the very first time I watched this drama and heard that song I was a little swoony with it. It took watching the drama several times to even notice the connection between the lyrics and the relationships because it was SO ANNOYING. But now every time I watch I connect with it a little more.
It's still the world's most annoying ost though
And at this point I am no longer sure I made a lick...

Of sense and as usual when it comes to this dang drama I talk too much! I can't help it,! It's a legit problem in my day to day life.

I agree that he wanted to run to the States rather than fight but he had done a lot of fighting already and it didn’t work. He beat up the boyfriend and she still got in the car with him over a mobile phone contract that could have been sorted out by just buying another phone. The contract was in his name her cancelling the payment she was making would have been fine as he would have had to take it back on.
He fought with her about going on the blind date she went which was disrespectful to the man who was on the date and her boyfriend.
He tolerated the horrendous comments from her mum and the physical beating even when she came and contaminated his home with her prejudiced, derogatory toxic statements so he could reduce the pain to his girlfriend and she returned to his house and therefore experienced the pain he was trying to protect her from.

So it made perfect sense to move away so she would not feel the loss of her friend or fight a system she was never going to win in terms of the workplace harassment and disrespect.

I saw it as starting from a clean slate and returning when she was stronger and healed would have been much better for her as she was too embedded in too many places to be able to do what needed to be done. It would have been like going to rehab where the therapy is for the body and mind and then when you have a clear mind and body you can recognise the unhealthy relationship to substances etc. With new skills its easier to notice and reject the friends and environments that are not good for you.

I think the problem was this was sold as a rom com when it was more a slice of life melodrama with a hint of rom com.

There were a lot of damaged people in the drama. The mum who lost her role as the wife of whatever her husband did. Once he retired all she did was cuss him for not having a purpose any more. I wondered how much he regretted marrying her as she was not someone that could be a companion or friend in retirement.

The siblings were so hurt by their dad abandoning them and his impact on their mum. That his commitment to his new family felt like a slap round the face and they continued to reach out and then reject him even when he was trying to build something new with them. They had every right to reject him but the level of hatred and hurt needed therapy to ensure they could have a better experience of life and not be filled with those emotions while the cause of them was living his best life.

The boyfriend who treated her so badly then wanted to have her back or kill them both so no one could have her needed to get a grip on reality.

Watching a melodrama takes a different mindset. Once you go in with your eyes open you don’t have the same expectations of warm fuzzy so therefore when the icy shower occurs you acclimatise quickly to the sudden drop in temperature because you have braced yourself.

Oh I agree, he did fight. And he was tired. But ai don't blame her for not wanting to run, either. He never discussed it with her. And that was something he did a lot--that was his big flaw in the relationship, I thought. He wanted to be THE MAN (I think in part compensating because he was younger, but also patriarchy) and come in and make a sweeping decision for them. But what would she have done there? Does she even speak English? After her relationship with that ex can you blame her for not wanting to lift her entire life and go to a different country when she doesn't know anyone, doesn't speak the language? As much as she loved him I think since that abuse was so recent in her past that a part of her (even if she never acknowledged it) had to be worried or nervous at the thought of being completely one. Where would she go if she found herself in a situation where she needed help? But more than that and more than wanting to fight I think she wanted independence. She had never lived alone before and she suddenly had her own apartment.

I think at the end of the day their relationship failed because they didn't have this conversation. They swept AO MANY conversations under the table. Like you said--she went on the date to shut her mom up. She went to his house when her mom was spewing all of that garbage but he never shared with her that he was scared or in pain. Remember when they were watching the musical together? And she says the man never talks about his fear and he says because he knows if he tells her it will make her fear worse. So he was trying to protect her and their relationship by holding back.
I think when you think about the phone that you know she wasn't going to go to America with him. She felt pathetic. She couldn't even get a phone by herself because she was so dependent on her ex that her phone that she was paying for was in his name and she couldn't access her account without him. Of course she wasnt going to run off with Jae-ins character. Her whole life would be that phone. Their whole thing is that they didn't communicate. Everything they did was for their relationship but they never TALKED about their relationship. Even Jin-A doing the massively effed up thing of going to visit his father when he didn't want to. She did that for him. But. She never spoke to him about it.
I totally agree with you that it was a melo and it was built around Jin-A but they sold it to us it as a rom-com. It reminds me.ofnthe drama Witch's Court. That was also billed as a rom-com. It absolutely wasn't. It was about a pissed off lawyer on a mission. There were two rom-,comy things that happened in the whole thing. And one of those was the last few minutes of the final ep when one asked to the other if they liked them.
I think this would have been better drama if they hadnt had them get back together because they still.havent spoken to each other about anything. Sure. They made out in the rain on the beach. But...? What...

But...? What happened next?
I wonder. If Jae-ins character had wanted to run to Jeju like the friend did would she have gone with him there? I just don't think she was strong enough to go to America. But again, maybe if they had talked about it.

Yes talking rather than being the hero and making decisions on his own was a massive issue re the job. He got it rushed through so even if he had talked to her about it there would have been no time to plan such a significant change in her life.

Re language and work out there I think there is a thriving Korean community in lots of parts of the world so depending on where it was she may well have been able to have some much needed down time to work out what she wanted from life and she could then have found a job, studied or whatever.

Most dramas would be one or two episodes long if they talked and troubleshooted the issues together!

I saw something that said the ending got changed due to the public reaction. Originally they were not meant to get back together.

Like you said it would be interesting to know what happened two years later as they were both changed people by their experiences since the split. Would they have been able to have a happy equal relationship how does he have any respect for the mother in law or trust her around their children? She had nurtured the siblings like her own until the relationship came to light then her true feelings came out. How would their relationship have been with his sister would she have been an absent or present aunt? Would they have children did they stay in Korea or move elsewhere?
I think doing what the friend did stay in Korea but go for a quality of life change in location and job. The other thing the family failed to realise is that he was doing ok for himself and had a career and decent money he just wasn’t a traditional business man/CEO.

I made it the reset, realized I still hated EVERYONE and dropped it. Goll what a horrible drama.

lol

Totally, 😎