Sunbae Don’t Put on That Lipstick: Episodes 13-14 Open Thread
by missvictrix
Our wonderful couple gives me the butterflies big time, but those butterflies are under threat when our heroine is faced with a major life decision. Indeed, broken hearts seem to be the theme this week, as many of our characters are faced with disappointment, betrayal, and breakups.
EPISODES 13-14 WEECAP
It seems all the praise I’ve heaped on this drama for its drama-less couple might have been a little premature. This week, they hit rocky waters. And I’m not a happy camper.
Although Song-ah has already brushed off an outside job offer, and the early invitation to head to the Europe office, this week her mentor is back and Song-ah is clearly yearning to take the Europe offer this time. Why? She already received this offer in the past, and decided to stay in Seoul. Now, some time later, she’s in a different place — a better one. She has the world’s squishiest and most devoted boyfriend at her side, she’s repaired her relationship with her mother, and she’s a success at work. So she’s… more ready to leave than ever? Song-ah, we need to have a serious chat.
Sunbae has done a nice job of showing us how Song-ah’s ambition, competence, and hard-working spirit are some of her best qualities. I’m cool with this. But at this point in the story, her decision seems completely callous to me. Leave everything behind for an amazing five-year opportunity at the Paris office? Or stay in Seoul in a job you already love and enjoy a loving relationship with a man whose equal you’ll probably never meet again?
I understand ambition and the need to grow personally and professionally, but I myself have a strict Humans Over Corporations policy. Jobs can disappear in an afternoon. People matter way more. And so, I might sound like a ranting teen, but I’m really not okay with her decision to leave.
To his eternal credit, Hyun-seung is a champ. He’s mature and steadfast; he puts Song-ah’s needs before his own — even she sees and acknowledges that. But at the same time, because he gives her this space, Song-ah is allowed to “be selfish” (her words, not mine). She decides to go. They scramble during their last month together to get the most out of each other’s company, but already we’re seeing Song-ah’s commitment to her job taking precedence.
It’s not that she doesn’t feel bad about leaving Hyun-seung for five years — it’s that she does it anyway, and that’s the part that really bugs me. Are the guilty misgivings we see Song-ah suffer signs that she will change her mind at this last minute? I admit, I was holding out in every scene for this to happen. I’ll even take a runaway airport moment at this rate. But no, instead we have the dreaded three-year time jump.
I dislike a time jump generally, and I particularly dislike this one. It’s always so hard to get reoriented into the story, and though Sunbae does a nice job of showing us how the KLAR team has grown (and baby Hyun-seung is now a manager!), I still feel lost.
What happened in all that blank space? Did they date long-distance like they promised? Did they have a million lovers’ trysts in Paris like they should have? It doesn’t seem like it. As our episodes close this week, three-year-later Hyun-seung spots Song-ah across the street. It’s a charged moment. It looks like he might run to her and kiss her in the street like the poster promises. But no. Instead, he quickly turns around and walks away from her as fast as he can. This is painful in so many ways, I don’t even want to count them.
As mentioned earlier, heartbreak abounds this week, as our side characters also suffer. Jae-shin has a conversation with Jae-woon, and that bromance/unbromance is rather cruelly broken up. Jae-shin also finally meets with Hyo-joo and cuts that relationship off too. (Thankfully, Hyo-joo seems to grow from the experience, and becomes less of a manipulative brat, and instead learns something about fortitude.)
The other sad bit is with Yeon-seung, her husband, and the fallout with the chef. Though we’ll have to wait till next week to see how the couple fared three years into the future, what we see this week is pretty rough.
Though they finally talk, it’s hard for any truth to get through. Woo-hyun insists that he loves Yeon-soo and is not gay, and even explains what once happened between him and the chef — but this is almost a case of “thou dost protest too much.” Woo-hyun wants a divorce, promises to give her everything as penance for the betrayal, and eventually Yeon-seung acquiesces while urging him to truly look into his own heart (it’s so touching!).
What a week in this drama! I’ve not been concerned about the pacing until this point. All was quiet on the western front, and unfolding so gently, so this final stunt with Song-ah really caught me off guard. I don’t think it was necessary for our couple at all, but I’ll take it at face value for now. Perhaps they can tie it all together next week, and make me believe it was a worthwhile plot choice?
I can only think they did this in order to balance out the relationship dynamics. Hyun-seung has always sought Song-ah so strongly, while she only fell in step with him. Does this new story arc mean it’s Song-ah’s turn to pursue Hyun-seung before they can finally meet on even ground? That’s the only part of this that would make sense to me. And, I suppose, as long as they do meet on that even ground, I’ll be able to forgive Song-ah for her selfishness, and the drama for being so sneaky about this final maneuver.
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Tags: Ahn Se-ha, Choi Jung-won, Kim Ro-woon, Lee Hyun-wook, Lee Joo-bin, Lee Kyu-han, Sunbae Don't Put on That Lipstick, Wang Bit-na, Won Jin-ah
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1 jerrykuvira
March 3, 2021 at 11:28 PM
Seems the show really caught you off guard that you gave a short weecap.
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skelly
March 4, 2021 at 7:48 PM
Any recap is better than no recap, which is where we would be without Dramabeans. So I take it not just happily but gratefully. And I share missvitrix's disappointment: these episodes showed not just the issue with a single value judgment (career over relationship) but a major fissure in the relationship. Having different values and behaviors is fine if both people in a relationship appreciate and need the values/behaviors of the other (see It's OK to Not be OK), but in these episodes she showed again and again that she not only could not be as affectionate and loyal as he could, but that she did not really value it either. Every time she drew away from his embrace I cringed. Every time he offered something that she rejected, I shook my head. In these two episodes, they built a funeral pyre for this relationship and I really don't see how they are going to wallpaper over it in two remaining episodes, even with unicorns and rainbows.
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jerrykuvira
March 5, 2021 at 1:53 AM
After reading the recap, I want to give up on watching this weeks installments and wait for next weeks finale. But then there are other story arcs that are as well intriguing. It was really a disappointment that career once again was put on a higher pedestal over relationship but it didn't just stop at that. Even if she could not reciprocate his love at the same level as he, she should have done better
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NYC unni
March 9, 2021 at 9:19 AM
I definitely agree that all of this shows that she is simply not emotionally ready for what he is offering. Her parents' messed up relationship and her mother becoming a shell of a person after putting her trust in the wrong person are clearly issues she has yet to fully work through. I didn't like the moves she made either, but they made some degree of sense for someone who had learned to protect her dreams at all costs after what her mom/parents put her through . . . independence is a great thing but her emphasis on me over everyone is screwing her here.
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2 AngieFenx
March 4, 2021 at 1:13 AM
For him to grow career wise, there must have an opening in the same department.
For her to resolve that inkling of doubt in her heart, she has to make that move, for her not to doubt herself and if their relationships are as solid as she thought it would be, it's another milestone of growth.
To simple enjoy their relationships without addressing the growth obstacles..thats not how her character are written.
We all grow with different ages and time of our lives, the relationship has to grow together within those challenges to be stronger.
I love that they address how her career grow and how she manages her relationships around her, and how he reacts to the relationship and career growth, is an epitome of the new age career society regardless of gender.
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3 miso
March 4, 2021 at 1:39 AM
I didn't mind her going to Europe. Anybody who has watched the show knew it was going to happen - this show has not done one original thing so why would it change now,
But I do mind what clearly appears to be a break-up during those 3 years. It's like dramaland has no concept of mature, long-distance relationships. Everyone acts like moving to another country means you will never see that person again for X no. of years. As if flights don't exist, vacations don't exist 🙄
True Beauty already did the "someone goes abroad and they break-up and you only find out why in a flashback" thing. It didn't make that show more interesting and it's not making this show any more interesting either. I'm only sticking around to get my completion bean and to find out how our Director/Big Sis couple are faring 😑
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kathia
March 4, 2021 at 5:46 PM
Every couple should learn from our couple of Crash Landing on You ;)
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skelly
March 4, 2021 at 7:52 PM
It depends on how committed she really is to this relationship. I have seen nothing that convinces me she is all-in for it like he is, poor sod.
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4 Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 2:07 AM
These episodes show us how the Chae's siblings have a big heart and the beautiful love they can give to others.
In this drama, there isn't a big villain but people have to make some choices. It's kinda hart to watch because we can't blame someone for his choice (I mean except Jae-Shin, he messed up). I think the drama did well to express the characters' feelings.
We know Song-Ah, her job is very important, her passion for it was one of the reason Hyun-Seung fell in love with her. She said she couldn't be like her mother giving her whole for a relationship. So I can understand why she's interested in the offer in Europe. Leaving with her ex wasn't ideal but now she will leave withe her mentor, a person she respects a lot and she will live a great experience.
Hyun-Seung knows Song-Ah and doesn't want to stop her dream. But I don't think his way to love is made for a long distance relationship. She wasn't leave yet and he already hide things from her because he didn't want her to be worried.
Song-Ah can stay but will she be bitter about this and will blame Hyun-Seung for it in the future or be happy with this choice? She can have a long distance relationship knowing Hyun-Seung will suffer from it. She can break up and leave. The issue is she can't know what will happen, people change.
The end was a cliffhanger I wasn't expected. Looks like they did have a long distance relationship but what happened? Their couple wasn't really well balanced, Hyun-Seung being the one giving the most, so I will be happy to see Song-Ah fight for him for once.
I didn't have the continuation of episode 12 I was exptecting! (I feel cheated) But I'm happy that we got the conversation of Chae Yeon-Seung and Kang Woo-Hyun. Seeing Chae Yeon-Seung so sad when she's so energetic usually was hard. It's nice to see she has her sister to help her. She was really brave to accept the situation like this and to offer her help to her husband.
Even there were a lot of hard moments, we still got happy and funny moments like Lee Jae-Woon learning about Hyun-Seung, the mum who is trying to be a good mum to her daughter and cute dates.
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isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
March 4, 2021 at 2:25 AM
youre so right! I put all my conjecture on her for the breakup. But he was already keeping things from her. I wonder if he wver would have told her about the near-miss? But in his defense when he called her she so awfully abrupt. I think he would have told her if she hadnt said she was busy so he dialed back wanting to talk about their days to a sappy just wanted to hear your voice and hung up.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 2:32 AM
We could see how she felt bad about not knowing about the incident, about him waiting for her in his car, etc.
She has not left yet and he's already suffering from her new job.
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 3:33 AM
Yeah. Communication is key. Given that they just started dating neither feel like they can make the other person go through things. They think they are being kind and understanding. But they are pushing the other person away. Love is not about spending only good times in comfortable situations.
Song Ah - she discussed with Hyun-Seung for the first time. And she knew how happy he was when he was part of it. Why chose to not discuss with him the second time around is beyond me!!
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 4:10 AM
I guess it was different. She really likes her brand and this time it was the same compagny but in Europe.
skelly
March 4, 2021 at 7:59 PM
It's all a question of what you value most. When he asked her to stay, and she withdrew her hand from his, she was telling him what she valued: career advancement won out over developing and focusing on her relationship with him. I felt so sorry for him; once again, he was the one who loved more. She's a fool. Jobs come and jobs go, opportunities happen again and again if you look for them. Someone who truly loves you for what you are? Rarer and more delicate than you might think.
_mplo_
March 4, 2021 at 3:48 AM
Ditto on the ep 12 continuation! I started ep 13 eagerly to see cute lovey-dovey stuff but they jumped to a completely different scene. I feel so cheated!
I also agree that she didn't go to Europe the first time round was not because she didn't want the job, but more of her reeling from Jae Shin's betrayal and thinking that she was going there as a 'kept woman'.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 4:11 AM
So I guess, I'm not the only with her dirty mind :p
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 4:18 AM
Not her but a*
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5 isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
March 4, 2021 at 2:19 AM
I really liked these eps. I liked how Song-Ah struggled with the decision to stay or go. A part of me wishes she had told Hyun-Seung sooner i instead of letting him find out by mistake but it was HER decision to make. The two had barely started dating, barely weeks after her breakup with her long term boyfriend when suddenly shes in another deeply committed relationship. I love the otp but I thought when they first got together we needed a time jump between her breakup and their getting together. Everyone talked about how hesitant she seemed when they first got together. It seems like the show did it on purpose-sure, she loves/is falling in love with him but is she ready for that? Does she want that? And if a part of her does and a part of her isnt ready even if she could tell that to the giant squish in front of her how does she tell him to wait x amount of time until she is ready? Hes a hot commodity. Someone would have snapped him up.
I think leaving was for the best, even if it broke both of their hearts. I do wonder about the breakup though. Well before they broke up she was clearly putting her job ahead of him. Did they just peter out and he/she thought the long distance wasnt worth it? Did one of them succumb to an outside party? Hyun-Seung never seemed to be hurting for cash so I believed them when he said that he could come visit her every few months. I wonder if one too many of those visits ended with him dosing in his car outside the company with a book waiting for her that he or she decided it was pointless to keep making the trip.
I LOVE HYO-JOO! I love that when she got it through her thick head she wasn't going to manipulate Lee Jae Shin into caring for her, or at least marrying her without affection (girl, why? To win?) she decided to give all of that love to herself and her business. I hope she finds someone in our 3 year time jump. I loved her awkward "IM DOING GREAT!" to Lee Jae Shin before ahe scurries to her car and drives off only allowing herself one long look in her rearview mirror.
I hope the love triangle with the sister snd the chef turns out for the best. The chef sold his restaurant and ran away-after the marriage was broken up. I hope the wife finds someone who loves her as much as she loves them and not just gratitude for loving them. And the husband was never a bad guy. Just hurt. I hope he makes peace with himself.
I LOVE JAE-WOO. I love that his threat to destroy Jae Shin and be a true chaebol eas based on Jae Shin hurting his sister and not ever being a real friend. I love that hes good at his job and respected by his employees. I love his relationship with his Hyun-Seungs sister. (Was I the only one who thought our puppy eas going to pull new brother in law strings to get Song-Ah to stay?) I hope the time jump shows those two cuties married with a Ha-Eun of their own. I loved their sweet courtship.
I thought last week was boring but they really brought me back this week!
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stpauligurl
March 4, 2021 at 6:20 AM
Agree with everything you wrote here. What is nice about this show is how they have explored all the relationships and have fleshed them out so we can see what's happening.
The only one that worries me a bit is when Hyo-Joo finds out her brother is dating the wedding dress vendor who dumped her.
That is going to be awkward....
That ending though - I wanted to throw something at the screen at the lack of information.
But now reading the comments it makes more sense. This show has been a delicious slow burn to watch.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 7:01 AM
Dont worry about Hyo Joo she is past that psychotic phase now. After e years she seems far more stable and calm now.
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 2:44 PM
May be she will come to know that he was two timing her when she was shopping for the wedding dress and that will end any residual feelings she has for him??
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6 Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 3:26 AM
Lol missvictrix! I understand why you didn’t like it. I didn’t like it but I am glad she chose to go. It was not callous. The first time she declined this offer was a wrong move. She gave up an opportunity And she most likely regretted it. And when the opportunity strikes again she went for it. She made the decision to pick the one she would least regret. I am perfectly fine with it. If that’s how she felt about it.
What I was shocked is with the ending. I need to know what happened.
As someone who personally managed a 3 year long distance relationship before marriage, I was expecting them to show that their love grew stronger and not this. No no no. not this. No. I was expecting them to make this work.
Like you said, may be it’s her turn to show she really loves him and pursue him.
Too much sadness this episode. The middle sister broke my heart. Really. She didn’t deserve this. Her kindness to her husband and that she wants him to accept himself shows how big her heart is. The daughter will handle this well right. I hope she will be ok with the divorce. I hope they talked to her.
I love the siblings.
I love Jae Woo (ceo). He is such a wonderful brother. A good boss. And a great boyfriend. I am so happy he is soon joining the siblings family. The boy needs love too.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 4:15 AM
I am happy that you successfully managed a long distance relationship. But from what i have heard from majority people and seen myself LDRs are hard to maintain with all that time difference and thing.
With Hyunseung and Songah i think they being in a relationship for just a month or two is one factor that it fell apart.
I was totally surprised with their break up too but it was actually coming as their relationship is totally off balance with HyunSeung giving more and receiving less.
It seems that they worked it out for 2 years and but then it fell apart.
Let us hope for the best for them.
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 5:15 AM
You are right. They had just started dating so there is not enough trust and understanding built into the relationship to brave a long distance.
I am really hoping the show gives us some background on what happened. And hope they can work it out now that she is back.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 6:57 AM
I hope they gave is some scenes where it lead to a break up between them. That would be so satisfying to watch.
Also the way HyunSeung walked away it was a terrible breakup i think.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 7:13 AM
He really looked sad :( (but handsome :p)
And Song-Ah didn't look so surprised, so she totally knew why.
stpauligurl
March 4, 2021 at 6:25 AM
The relationship between Song-Ah and Hyun-Seung is sweet. But what bothered me was that it wasn't equal. He pursued her and gave his all, but she didn't. He always did was she wanted and never said what he wanted.
I don't think given the history that Song-Ah wasn't ready for that.
And now I think that maybe going to Europe was the right thing no matter how painful.
They both have to grow up in their own way before they can be a truly healthy and grown up couple.
This is when it's so hard to be a human being in relationships with other humans.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 6:46 AM
I wont say Songah wasnt ready for the relationship i would say it is her nature. She is more reserved and one who values her career while he is open, expressive and one who values love.
He was more invested in their relationship she wasnt.
While he changed for her like became patient took things her way she lacked putting some effort in their relationship.
This clear unbalance is what jeoparadizing their relationship.
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stpauligurl
March 4, 2021 at 6:55 AM
yes exactly. you worded it better than me.
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 8:09 AM
It's also the way she grew up. She doesn't have a romantic idealistic view about love, marriage and family. I don't blame her. Even with Jae Shin, he was the one who made the first move.
But she didn't take him for granted. She made an effort. When he offered to pick her up, she chose to go to his place in the morning.
Like Pauli said, the break is good for both of them to reevaluate things and start fresh. I do think they like each other and can be good for each other.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 11:43 AM
I agree she made an effort. But there are some subtle things that we dont notice easily which makes me think that she is lacking somewhere like for example she only does something when he asks her like feeding him, giving him hugs (except for one time), asking his likes or dislikes, asking how his day was. I know that is because of her past and i dont blame her for that. But just like he is making an effort by being patient and taking the things at her pace shouldn't she should start doing that a little bit. May be it will take her time but she can try. Sometimes words and actions are necessary to assure our partner that we are on the same page. And this lack of effort is more explicit in ep 14.
1) Where their date is interrupted by the TF team BM. When the BM asked her to make changes she could have asked the BM if she could do it at home as it was weekend and it was some ppt work. BM could have accepted that request or not was a whole another thing but her asking that, was important here which could have shown that she also keeps HyunSeung at top sometimes.
2) When he called her to tell his problems at work she said she was busy and that was okay but it was obvious that something was wrong from his voice even though when he denied it. She could have insisted him to talk or just call him back when she was finished.
3) When she got to know about what problems he faced at work merely accepting the fact that she is being selfish wont work. She should have assured him that it was okay to talk to her even if she was busy and just like how he told her to not think about him anymore the same could have been done by her too.
These things are hard to notice but are very important in a realtionship to sustain.
Lastly, i would say it is Hyunseung's fault too. Like he should stop thinking about her 24/7 and for once start to think about himself.
At the end both needs to make changes like she to lean towards love a little more and he to lean away from it a little bit.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
March 4, 2021 at 4:35 PM
I hate to say it--but the world makes it seem like you are the exception that proves the rule. Most long distant relationships dont work. And like others have pointed out: before she ever left she was putting her work ahead of him (made worse since she knows that she chose the job because she would regret losing the job but wouldnt regret (or not regret as much) losing the man, made worse as she bad already promised 5 years of her life to the job but only had nights and weekends for one month before she wouldn't see him again) and he was hiding things (work and hurt feelings that she was too busy to talk to him). There was no way that relationship was going to last. And thats sad but true. Even now, our time jump said 3 years. She still has 2 more years away when we pick back up. Im not surprised that they broke up Im surprised that it doesnt seem like an amicable break up. We learned from when his ex made a play for him that hes really good at cutting people out of his life. What is this going to mean for our duo?
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FlyingTool
March 4, 2021 at 6:47 PM
Isn't our heroine a perfect example of the modern Korean female? Marriage, children, even romantic love, and all the heavy weight obligations all that brings in a still Confucian society are no where near the top of her priorities - as shown by falling marriage rates, increasing divorce rates, and a catastrophic collapse in the birth rate.
From that view, her choice to go is perfectly in her nature, said the Scorpion...
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 7:08 PM
I understand. Statistically speaking odds are they break up. Doesn’t mean I want to see that in this drama :) I was hoping this show would show us how the couple handle this. I was prepared for some trouble maintaining the relationship but not this.
My thoughts were - 1) he is rich so he would visit her twice a year and/ or she would visit once a year 2) after a year he might move to Europe to work on the same project because the project was growing in scale.
May be everything will get explained in the next episode.
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isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
March 4, 2021 at 7:32 PM
I was hoping the same! They had talked about it when they were cutely curled up in bed! He was going to visit over the summer :/
Theres still two years left.
Hey. HEY. Maybe they didnt breakup. Maybe they are going to pull the rug out from underus!
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 9:11 PM
I was so sure that they both will survive LDR. But when i thought about it after watching the latest epi i came to conclusion that this breakup between them was bound to happen. We have to remember that no matter how much they love eachother their relationship is unbalanced. They were never on the same page with Songah's priority as career and Hyunseung's priority as love.
Even though they planned to meet each other it might not have happened because of Songah's commitment towards her work.
Hypothetically, he went to meet her but didnt get to meet her due to some urgent work.
I guess the reason of their breakup might be Songah's guilt that she never could give him the time she promised or that is the only one receiving here.
No matter how practical Songah is she is also righteous and kind and has self-realization that Hyunseung is sacrificing to maintain their relationship.
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7 bil
March 4, 2021 at 3:52 AM
Yess, I can predict song ah will accept the offer because when she rejected the offer before, the reasonable excuse maybe she didn't want to go with jae shin. Now when Jae Shin has resigned, ofc she would go to pursue her dream.
Last week I wrote they never breakup because Hyun Seung loves her so much, but maybe too much love for someone until you ignore your feeling is not good either. The last scene of ep 14 shocked me and fron the preview we know that at least, they did LDR for 2 years before something big happened. Hope next week we can get a full stories about this.
Note: can we give an applause and a hug for Yoon Seung? She's totally represent strong woman and has a big heart, all of her scenes made me cry in the last 2 eps
Note #2: I love Hyun Seung and Song Ah kisses in his apartment, aakkk >.<
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8 CasualDramaFan
March 4, 2021 at 3:52 AM
I think Song-ah deciding to go was the correct move for her part. The show always portrayed her as ambitious and competent. I think her decision this time around was influenced by her mentor. Everything was just right about this job offer an amazing mentor to work with, new and better job opportunities and challenges. Good opportunities are hard to come by and for Song-ah it came twice. It shows her how good she is.
She chose what she would regret least.
I really liked Yeon-seung’s story. The conversation between her husband and her was quite moving.
At the end Yeon-seung’s promise to help her husband to find himself, shows how warm-hearted, caring she is. I hope she would find her happiness as well.
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9 _mplo_
March 4, 2021 at 3:54 AM
I hate time jumps especially this one. I would have loved to see them work out the long distance relationship. Can't think of what might have happened to make Hyun Seung pissed.
I thought it was petty of the director to pull stops on Jae Shin since he considered him a friend in the first place. Didn't peg him to be the revenge-y kind. Loved his reaction when he learned of his future brother-in-law though.
And I will miss seeing little Ha Eun. They can't possibly use the same actess after 3 years right?
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10 greenfields
March 4, 2021 at 4:51 AM
As others have commented, Song-ah deciding to go was definitely the right move. She worked her way through college, is known for her competence at her job, and is clearly someone who values her career immensely - especially given how being fully devoted to a man panned out for her mother. There is no way Song-ah wouldn't go, even her earlier decision to not go when Jae-shin was the BM was regrettable. Why let him ruin this wonderful opportunity she's getting?
Also, from her vantage point, without the passage of those years, this is an opportunity she'll never get again. But a relationship with Hyun-seung is something that - while it is difficult - may stand the test of distance. Can she not have both? It's greedy but it is the right decision. On the other hand, Hyun-seung asking Song-ah to sacrifice her ambition to stay with him is what didn't sit well with me. She'll clearly come to resent him for it, he should know that better than anyone else (but of course, he's not being rational atm and that's understandable).
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 5:13 AM
I think it was healthy for their relationship that Hyun-Seung to say he wanted her to stay. He didn't use an ultimatum, he just asked and respected her decision after.
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Blue (@mayhemf)
March 4, 2021 at 5:19 AM
He was scared and feeling insecure especially since he found out about her offer by chance. She didn’t handle this well. he didn’t feel he was important in her life.
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greenfields
March 4, 2021 at 4:24 PM
Good point. When you put it in those words, I agree.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 6:52 AM
No actually it is the other way round here. He is actually one who sacrificed here.
Him asking her to say is what is called communicating with our partner how we feel. He may be selfish but who isn't. Then may be even Songah is selfish to tell him that
she wants to go to Europe. When he got to know that she earnestly wants to go he supported her the most reassured her comforted even though it was hard for him to let her go.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 6:53 AM
And yes i fully support Songah about her pursuing career. It is just HyunSeung was also not at fault.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 7:10 AM
In this situation, there is no villain, just choices with consequences.
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OldLawyer
March 4, 2021 at 6:28 PM
That is so exactly right.
FlyingTool
March 4, 2021 at 6:52 PM
Precisely.
skelly
March 4, 2021 at 10:43 PM
It's not a question of morally right or wrong, it is a question of values. She values her career more than her new relationship; she is willing to gamble on the relationship for the sake of her career. I know lots of women who have done the same, and they are highly successful - they are also alone, at 40, 50, 60. It's the choice they made. Maybe they regret it now, but when they were busy building their careers, no one told them there would be no one waiting at the end of the line. That may sound cruel, but at pushing 60 I've seen it happen too many times.
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Dramas found by chance
March 4, 2021 at 8:50 AM
I don't think Hyun-seung was wrong to ask her to stay, but he did it badly. The first time Europe came up he said he would support her decision; this time he pleads with her to stay and in effect raises the stakes for her. I think he'd have done better (but this may not have been emotionally possible for him) to say again that he would support her but his personal preference was for her to stay.
I thought stating in the car waiting was also an example where his perfect gentleman act would just make Song-ah feel guilty to no good effect. Why not just say 'text me 10 minutes before you finish and I will come and pick you up'? His sacrifices are getting too showy.
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Dramas found by chance
March 4, 2021 at 8:52 AM
*sitting in the car...
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 10:31 AM
The first time he decides to support her was because they werent in a relationship that time he cant expect anything from her. But now times have changed they both are in a romantic relationship now where communication is the key. Also the time period is too long like 5 years who knows being a new project it may take more than that. Him being a little reluctant is but obvious here he loves her and being the emotional one in their relation he would obviously want her to stay with him and voicing that to her is what tells us that he is a human. We cant blame him for that just how we cant blame Songah for choosing her job over him. Both are right at their place.
Yes i agree that him staying in the car is a bit too much but i would say rather than 'showy' it is what his nature is. Remember his university friend once said to him that when he is in a relationship he is too obvious that people can easily understand. Just like Songah is reserved he is more expressive and bold. And if she feels guilty about that then i think she should star working on that then because she is clearly lacking putting in some efforts in their relationship.
PS: When i say she is lacking in efforts i dont in any way mean that she should sacrifice her career for that. She is free to do whatever she wants to do. And i absolutely adore her for who she is. But there are some subtle things we dont usually notice that that needs to be worked upon by her.
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greenfields
March 4, 2021 at 4:26 PM
Agreed. :) When you (and others) put it in these words, I see what you mean.
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isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
March 4, 2021 at 7:45 PM
I didnt blame him for the car thing. It was only supposed to be a few minutes, he had a book and was fine. He fell asleep. If it were me after waiting so long I would feel so awkward leaving! Like..Ive already waited 35 minutes if I leave now is she just going to come out in 5 more minutes? Ive already waited so long would it take more or less time to leave and come back or just to sit and wait? If it were me those are the thoughts that would run around in my head.
But what I liked about that scene is she clearly told him that she didn't like him doing it and he said ok and he wouldnt do it again. Communication!
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11 OldLawyer
March 4, 2021 at 8:25 AM
Long-distance relationships are extremely difficult- and I think that I had the same thoughts and feelings about this as MissVictrix. In this case it may be that it was the right choice for Song-ah but it was too soon to try given how little time the new couple had really had together before she went.
Hyun-seung was the one who put himself out there and while Song-ah had fallen in love with him she had really not yet invested emotionally in the relationship. This may be why it did not work out- we shall see what actually happened in the next episode. Obviously Hyun-seung is deeply hurt. After year of break-up I only wonder if he would not be ready to love someone else.
This has really made me take a second look at Song-ah and her former relationship with Jae-shin. Jae-shin was certainly using her but there may also have been an element of carelessness on Song-ah's part. If she places her career over her personal life then it is easy to see how that relationship happened- it was easy. And her decision to go to Europe was also consistent with her character. But if that is the case then she is simply not the right woman for Hyun-seung, who deserves someone who will love him back as much as he loves her. The writer will no doubt disagree and give us some sort of re-union for the two of them but, quite frankly, I disapprove.
I am not down on Song-ah as such. She has a dream and she should pursue that dream. She made a choice and had she made the other choice she certainly would have been very unhappy in the long run, and the relationship would have soured with Hyun-seung trying but never able to make it up to her. I am glad he asked her to stay- and that he respected her decision to go. Writers seldom give us such a forthright character- from the beginning Hyun-seung has been my very favorite character in this show- a wonderful example of how to be a real man.
I too got a "he protesteth too much" vibe in Woo-hyun's response to Yeon-seung. It was a stark reminder of just how the lies we tell to ourselves may be the worst lies- leading to bad choices and hurt. Yeon-seung certainly does not deserve this and neither does their daughter.
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Dramas found by chance
March 4, 2021 at 9:00 AM
"The writer will no doubt disagree"
I was wondering if Hyun-seung would discover how much he has in common with Hyo-joo now that they're thrown together by their siblings' romance: both upper class, manipulative, used to getting what they want. Meanwhile Jae-shin expanding his new business into Europe would bring him back into contact with Song-ah, and these driven, ambitious underdogs would naturally be drawn back together...
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 10:46 AM
upper class, manipulative, used to getting what they want It doesn't describe Hyun-Seung at all.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 11:01 AM
I was shocked someone could compare him too hyo joo. Wheres as i was going to use hyojoo's one sided love for jaeshin and hyunseung's one sided love for songah as two different classic cases beautifully depicted by drama where one uses force to make the love fall for him/her and one who patiently waits for the love to fall for him/her. Both are manipulation but the former one is what called as negative one which is wrong while the other one is positive one which is acceptable.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 11:15 AM
I mean in this case, there is manipulation everywhere and the word doesn't have sense anymore...
snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 2:02 PM
Yes i agree that HyunSeung was always honest.
Manipulation a word actually denotes a far deeper meaning than what we actually refer to it as- evil.
We as human beings are all manipulative in an unintentional way. When we act or say something it affects people surrounding us this is also a kind of manipulation which is unintentional.
When HyunSeung always helped Songah, loved her it changed her feelings towards him and made her fall for him. It is a kind of manipulation which is unintentional.
I in no way disreagarding HyunSeung's intentions for Songah.
snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 11:48 AM
Can i ask you what you meant when you said that the word manipulation doesnt make a sense anymore in one of your reply?
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 12:12 PM
I mean if you tell everybody is manipulative because of their acts, it kinda take out his meaning. Hyun-Joo was really manipulative. But Hyun-Seung was always honest with Song-Ah.
OldLawyer
March 4, 2021 at 2:35 PM
I agree that he is upper class but he is the very opposite of manipulative- if anything almost too much so- his reveal of Jae-shin's duplicity was not manipulation but more like a bull in the china shop.
He straight forwardly asked Song-ah to stay- but also accepted her decision to go and, instead tried to make a long distance relationship. It did not work out.
At the same time the point that the romance of the siblings will man that Hyo-joo and Hyun-seung are thrown together is true but there are two things to remember here- there really is a deep seated cultural anathema on a double in law situation, one steeped in cultural experience which valued a wider net of interfamily connection as a technique for survival and prosperity. Second: Hyun-seung has already experienced some negative interactions with Hyo-joo and has to have a negative image of her.
Hyun-seung is upper class but he is an example of an upper class man who was raised right. He is not used to getting what he wants- he was taught instead to use his talents to be a productive part of society. His wealth gives him the confidence to fail- failures are not catastrophic for him and that means he suffers from lesser levels of anxiety- that is the only sense in which he is spoiled when compared to his co-workers.
In fact he should have a fair amount of immunity to the charms of Hyo-joo- he is too honest in his nature to lie to himself- so he is not going to look at her beautiful appearance and lie to himself that there must be a wonderful personality to go with it.
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Dramas found by chance
March 5, 2021 at 12:37 PM
Point taken about the cultural anathema: I wasn't aware of it, though I should have thought about it.
Of course I don't really believe the story will go that way - it's just fun to speculate and sometimes to subvert.
I do see Hyun-seung's honest expressions of his emotion as putting pressure on Song-ah at a time when she knows perfectly well how he feels, even though he does accept the situation. We'll see next week, no doubt, how it played out in the three years.
snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 10:52 AM
Comment was deleted
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 6:05 PM
Why are you comparing hyunseung with hyo joo?
They are worlds apart from each other.
Hyo joo was mentally unstable. She wanted jaeshin even when she knew he never loved her. She practically forced her love on him by attempting suicide.
Do you see Hyunseung attempting suicide here or going haywire or abusing songah when she literally rejected him for like 4 to 5 times.
Pursuing someone you love with sound mind and good faith is acceptable otherwise there would be no lovers and love marriages in this world everyone would have to settle down with arranged marriages then.
He literally gave up on his feelings just for Songah's sake do you see hyojoo doing that when she got to now she is burdening jaeshin.
Second thing both of them being uupper class has nothing to do here. It is about their upbringing. Her parents were abandoned by her grandfather , she was alone and had to leave to states alone where she had no one orher than jaeshin.
Whereas, Hyunseung had loving parents and siblings. Who inculcated good values like mutual respect, love for each other in them and that can be shown how close he is with his sister.
Third being manipulative, who isnt manipulative in this world. When you live in a society you do something like a simple gesture like helping someone gets attracted to your good nature that is also called as manipulation. Every act we do in this world is some kind of manipulation.
We can also called Songah manipulative then because her thoughts and acts is what made Hyunseung made fall for her this also manipulation.
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FormAnOrderlyQueue
March 4, 2021 at 4:55 PM
"The writer will no doubt disagree and give us some sort of re-union for the two of them but, quite frankly, I disapprove."
This! I've really enjoyed this drama, but I've always been slightly bothered by SH-SA's relationship - I never sensed that she was really 100% in it. Yes, agreed, the reunion is on its way, but unless the three years have given SA a complete overhaul in the way she gives and demonstrates affection, the relationship will continue to feel lop-sided. (And if they give her the overhaul, that will feel inauthentic too - why would she?)
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OldLawyer
March 4, 2021 at 5:53 PM
I love how you have posed the central question so elegantly: Why would she?
Her drive and ambition are the product of her life story, including struggling with her needy mother. Success equals freedom for her- That is why her affection for Hyun-seung had to take a back seat, and may be the root cause of the break-up. Now that she is actually tasting the fruits of her efforts why would she want to change anything? We do not change in response to our successes but rather to our failures- so why would she indeed?
In order to change her attitudes at a fundamental level the writer has to come up with some event that causes Song-ah to have some sort of epiphany- and it has to be believable or who in the audience would buy it? Color me skeptical. And then she has to overcome whatever hurt has been suffered by Hyun-seung and regain his trust.
That last is a crucial point. We have all seen what a fine man Hyun-seung is but, he too has drawbacks. Precisely because he has integrity and is as honest and straight forward with himself as he is with others it may be nearly impossible to repair a breach. Once it is over- it is over. That is simply the way he is- as we saw a few episodes ago when his ex-girlfriend showed up intending to get him back- and got absolutely no-where. Understand this- even without Song-ah in the picture she still would have gotten no where. That is the way that a really solid man like Hyun-seung is- once you break his heart that is the end- as his ex-girlfriend got to find out.
So the idea that all of this can be fixed in two episodes in a believable fashion is a very tall order- because there are two things that have to happen and the second one- somehow getting Hyun-seung back is actually the most difficult unless the writer changes Hyun-seung's fundamental character and that just would not be believable.
Which is why Missvictrix was right to call this a serious misstep in this drama.
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snehal0205
March 4, 2021 at 8:54 PM
You are absolutely right. They could have shown this time jump thing at episode 10 or 11. That would have make enough time to show how she Songah back HyunSeung and tell us what actually happened between them that made them fall apart.
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Kurama
March 4, 2021 at 9:00 PM
I think it's a little bit too soon to judge. We don't know why they broke up yet...
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okiejune
March 5, 2021 at 9:54 AM
I agree - my theory now is that it was something like Song-ah missed meeting up with Hyun-Seung because of her work, and that was the final straw for him. Maybe he headed home and wouldn't talk to her after that. But then it turns out that she couldn't meet up with him for some dramatic reason (slight bump by the white truck of doom?) and he later finds out about it from someone else (after she tried to meet with him for a while after she returns). That would clear the path for them to renew their relationship.
skelly
March 4, 2021 at 10:47 PM
As is often the case, totally agree with you Old Lawyer.
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12 chloeday
March 4, 2021 at 9:27 AM
I WHOLLY dislike time jumps too, but I can understand the need of one in this drama. We see Hyun-Seung always being the one who steps toward Song-Ah, and she even agrees that she doesn't give as much love as she receives. The last two episodes will allow her to take that big step toward him that will balance their relationship. THREE years is a long time though, so I can see how their relationship fell apart somewhere along the way. I actually liked the cliffhanger of episode 14 as a storytelling technique. I am really curious as to what happened between them (work, distance, new lover that wasn't really a lover, just a coworker???) because Hyun-Seung's emotion-filled face was so stricken when he saw Song-Ah.
I hope Haeun's dad finds himself and dives into the inner workings of his own heart. I just feel very bad for Yeon-Seung because her whole life is centered around domestic affairs and she's lost a big part of it: her husband. One thing I like about the story is that we see Hyun-Seung and Ji-Seung are just naturally closer AT THE START of the drama so it feels more natural that Yeon-Seung misplaces her anger and fear on them during their meal. I would like to see more interactions between the siblings that aren't just meals, like a sibling outing with Haeun.
Unfortunately, Hyo-joo's character wasn't brought out perfectly, so there's so much the audience doesn't know and doesn't understand about her. At this point, Hyun-Seung's sisters seem like they should be the main supporting characters instead of Hyo-joo. I'm happy to see that she's grown, though I feel that she will never find a partner that suits her particular ways.
Overall, I look forward to the final episodes!
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13 floressalicis
March 4, 2021 at 10:09 AM
I know it's just playing to the (somewhat lazy) timeskip trope, but I'm glad Song-ah chose her career. I just always hate the laziness of using it to avoid the harder task of writing out the character development/conflict. It seems they did long distance, and from the preview it seems like it's been a year since the break up so math says they lasted for 2 years (which is no small feat for an LDR on different continents; we did transcontinental for 1.5 years and everyone thought we were nuts and it wouldn't work). I hope they actually *show* what went wrong rather than some lame exposition dump.
I definitely don't agree that just because jobs aren't permanent, to choose relationships. Relationships are at least as impermanent as jobs. Besides, the choices you make in one job - even if it goes away - can have deep repercussions on the rest of your career. Before it became illegal in most states, not taking every pay raise could have long lasting repercussions on your compensation for years to come.
How quickly you get promoted is definitely visible and "tells a story" for the next time you interview at a different firm. The corporate world is not a forgiving one; turning down opportunities, turning down promotions - in a world that already penalizes women for having the gall to get pregnant and expecting a woman to do the brunt of child rearing - is a quick way to get marked as "not having the right attitude". Korea, as far as I know, is even worse in this respect than in the West, where it's already far from equitable. And while it's easy to say "love matters more than money", financial strains are also a leading cause of failed relationships. There are literally billions of people in this world; there are a lot you will meet that you can form good relationships with or have a satisfactory physical relationships. You don't need a romantic one; having a lot of strong friendships and/or family relationships is equally viable. A romantic partner should never be your only source of support. But you don't get that many second chances when it comes to your career. And I'm sure that matters for someone as ambitious as Song-ah.
I've also been in a long distance relationship for 8 out of 9 years I've been with my partner. We have no plans of living together any time soon because it doesn't make sense for our careers; frankly I'd be fine doing this for decades longer. There's benefits to being long distance.
We learned very quickly there's no time whatsoever to spend on pettiness or insecurity or bad communication or irrational expectations. You figure out the real deal breakers and value mismatches pretty fast - and these are not always the ones that the other person tells you they are - and you figure out quickly if you can live with it or not. There's a lot of alone time, and nothing kills a relationship faster than when someone doesn't really know or like themselves. And I'm sure everyone's known...
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floressalicis
March 4, 2021 at 10:23 AM
Ah, apparently there's a hidden character limit.
I was saying "I'm sure everyone's known someone who uses a relationship to avoid dealing with themselves."
Also, money allegedly doesn't buy happiness or love, but on top of the fact that lack of it can absolutely destroy relationships, money can also buy quite a lot of comfort/happiness for people you care about. Not a lot of people in this world are lucky enough to get the opportunity or to have the luck to attain a great deal of financial freedom. Not turning those down can mean you're in a position to provide a lot of meaningful help to your friends who didn't. That's never a bad thing.
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OldLawyer
March 4, 2021 at 2:51 PM
Many of us have experienced being cut off by the character limit.
And you are right that money may not buy happiness (but neither does poverty- which is misery all by itself) but it is certainly very useful.
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14 owl 🦉 🫰
March 4, 2021 at 10:59 AM
The first thing that came to mind when their eyes met is that she didn’t tell him she was back. Why do I picture Jea shin lurking somewhere in the Paris shadows? And if so (though I hope not), why Song-ah, why? “To his eternal credit, Hyun-seung is a champ.” Yes, a champ and more. He is definitely in thw top running for the nation’s boyfriend. Seriously. Let’s hope whatever happened, it is a misunderstanding that Song-ah works her hardest at to fix. And that she returns the love she’s received to our deserving Hyun-Seung.
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15 candilane
March 4, 2021 at 2:10 PM
Okay, I know there is alot of Song Ah bashing but I think she always wanted the Europe TF job. Of course, she did, it was the opportunity of a lifetime as pointed out by several people. However, she didnt take it because her ex JS was leading the project. If JS was not in the equation at the time ( like he was during the 2nd offer), I am sure she would have taken it.
The middle sister stole my whole heart this episode when she said she wanted to be there for her husband when he accepted who he is. Regardless if he is gay or straight, I hope he doesnt date the Chef.
I am not mad at the Director for what he did to JS unlike many because JS deserved it . Can you imagine how hurt the Director was when told that his bestie never thought of him even once as a friend in over 20 years. That had to hurt, deeply but I am glad that he has the older noona now.
I am DESPERATE to know what happened between Song Ah and HS. I love these two.
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16 gem28
March 4, 2021 at 7:47 PM
I am sorry, give up one of the biggest opportunities of my career to be with a guy I started dating a few months ago is not me. I completely get Song Ah. I saw a women who has worked hard, is confident and takes great pride in her work. I don't see her being happy with anybody while giving up an opportunity such as the one offered. Hyun Seung to needs to grow out of Song Ah's orbit. I actually liked the way both made decisions. Sacrifices are made in a relationship. I am not debating that. But I doubt Song Ah, who basically is dating Hyun Seung on rebound and Hyun Seung with his almost angelic devotion to his Sunbae are emotionally there. They needed to grow separately and for once I can get behind forced separation because it felt organic to me. I can also see them breaking up over this time period. In fact, Song Ah doesn't seem like a heroine to give up Paris. She feels like she'd get a better offer and move around to climb corporate ladder to me. But this is drama so I can see if the two lovers reunite by the end.
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skelly
March 4, 2021 at 10:53 PM
Of course they will get back together. It's a drama. But I certainly can't get behind it; he's always going to come second behind "Paris." If the roles were reversed, and the guy had dumped the girl for Paris, we would all be bashing him for being a cold unfeeling b*** who did not deserve our sweet heroine's affections...
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gem28
March 4, 2021 at 11:06 PM
I don't know about others but this isn't a gender issue for me. If roles were reversed it would still be the right decision. These are two adults who started dating in a very unusual manner but neither are too young or too hopelessly in love.......they have enough life experience that would probably make them have realistic dreams and expectations. Had they dated for a considerable amount of time, then perhaps it would be a cruel decision. But as is, from my perspective either one of them have the right to prioritize what they prefer among career and relationship.
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17 ellafelela
March 11, 2021 at 3:30 AM
I personally don't mind time jumps so much as long as the next few/couple episodes properly explains what happened with that skipped time.
I am in agreement with several of the comments that while some of HS and SA's actions/decisions maybe distasteful to some, like with HS "selfishly" asking her to stay and SA "selfishly" choosing career over him anyway, it is somewhat needed for both of their characters to grow. We already know Song-ah is a driven girl with big aspirations, based on that it is kind of a given that her decision will be career. Hopefully with this time skip and separation we can get to see her growth in terms of how she will now handle her love life/relationship. If she can find that balance and not just choose one over the other. On the flip side, we also already know how big hearted our Giant Squish is, who gives his everything when it comes to love to the point that he's willing to be the only one to sacrifice. Or in his own words in ep. 10 camping scene "It's ok, I'll be the one, I'll risk everything for love." I am hoping that he has learned to think of himself as well. I am hoping for him to be the one on the receiving end of such deep and beautiful love that he so generously offered to her before. I do wanna see SA pursuing him a little this time around.
Sidenote: Song-ah will now always be known as "The Girl Who WENT To Paris" (a little shout out to Lauren Conrad in The Hills).
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