Even though i hated that reporter i still feel she deserved better (than being hammered to death). I'm glad we got some time to breathe with our main leads but now the escape is probably going to be a stressful thing to deal with.

I love Hyun-moo! <3

10 day absence and I just caught up on this show to THAT cliff hanger.

What you said about Reporter Park- so true. I wanted to know why she was doing what she was doing. She was so convincingly annoying and manipulated and then NOTHING. Like sure, so now I can propel all my disgust and hate onto Dad, and I did warn you Reporter-nim, messing with dad was A Grade Estupido, but would've liked to see you taken down... idk... on your own turf... oh well.

Nam Woo-yaaahhh- you sure do know how to play the verbal parrying/manipulation game as good as the psychopaths do, if not better, don't you.
At least one of you doesn't flinch in a fight, because, as I'm sure is obvious, the final show down has to be between Dad and Nam Woo.

Am I the only one who is not that bothered by the romantic angst? (At least not at the moment)
I mean, It's not entirely unreasonable. Relationships have angst under normal situations let alone when one's dad is a serial psychopath who killed your gf's parents and left you both emotionally scarred and with the very least PTSD and anxiety... oh and he hasn't ever HAD a relationship before? and hasn't properly talked to herin 12 years until a few months ago? And even 12 years ago he barely talked!!!!
So... it's kinda understandable that he's hesitant and also scared of what will happen since LAST TIME he followed the girl he liked two people died... like ... that's still gonna create some mental and emotional obstacles if you ask me, no matter how hard they're trying to get over them...

But hey I guess it can drag for some people and not others.

I really love the mother, even she left with So Jin, she never gave up on Na Moo and Hyun Moo. She still cares about Hyun Moo and is worried for him :)

First of all, I am glad Dad broke out of prison. I know that sounds terrible but he is a much more compelling villain than all our other villains combined. And it feels like there needs to be one final showdown for all of our characters to finally be able to move on. It seems like Dad could have escaped whenever he wanted, but seeing his Na-moo smiling at the Chief when he only had contempt for him pushed Yoon Hee-jae over the edge; not to mention Do-jin's relationship with Jae-yi.
Speaking of Do-jin and Jae-yi, I love them so much more when they are being honest with each other. Their moments are so cute. Like when Do-jin wouldn't lie down and Jae-yi threatened to leave, he sure kicked his shoes off real quick to comply with her. He is smitten and everyone knows it.
I still have hope for Hyun-moo. It feels like once all the good guys start actively working together (and I do put Hyun-moo in the good guys column) then they will have a fighting chance against Dad. He's got his network of people, they are going to need theirs.

What is this intangible thing that makes us root for Hyun-moo?? I distinctly remember everyone IMMEDIATELY and continuously rejecting the brother in WWWSK (direct quote: I don't want them to redeem him), and yet Hyun-moo's sins are MUCH greater but we still want him to be good?

That being said PLEASE HYUN MOO SEE THE LIGHT

I cannot believe that they killed her! I don't know why I thought that everyone would live until the last couple episodes and then maybe one person might die with everyone crying around them for like 3 minutes straight. But nope they offed her and some other citizens like it aint no thing. This show continues to flip me around by going against what I expect from Kdrama's. I love it!

Beware of Rampant Speculation
Part 1 of 2

Thanks for your recap and comments, mary!

Yay, Hyun-moo, for looking out for Mom and So-jin. He's slowly coming around. Now if only he can learn to be a better fighter. Has he forgotten everything he learned when being beaten up as a kid?

Boo at So-jin for just standing there when Fanboy went after her and then started pounding on Hyun-moo Oppa. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but shouldn't she at least try and run away from danger? (Ya know -- Stratagem 36.) Or call 119? I was likewise about to tear my hair out while watching Jae-yi flitting around outdoors in the dark after so many people have been attacked. The level of situational obliviousness by past targets of stalkers in this show is driving me around the bend.

Reporter Park met her final deadline indeed. I was kind of mystified that Fanboy aka Yeom Ji-hong aka Seung-woo entered the passcode on the first try. Have I missed something? (Or did he pull the old “fake smoke detector outside the front door" ploy to obtain the code -- which was used by a perp in LIVE?)

Oh, goody. Psycho Killer Dad's fan club (yes, "fan club" -- the irony of the term just "hit" me) loses a founding member (Reporter Park), but groupie Jeon Yoo-ra crawls out of the woodwork into the light of day. (And I do mean groupie in the original '60s sense of the word.) I had a bad feeling about her when she bumped into Mom outside her restaurant in the market. She was passively-aggressively threatening a rival -- all in her own warped mind, of course.

Now I suddenly have cause for optimism. Wouldn't it be sweet poetic justice if Psycho Dad were offed in his sleep by a Woman Scorned of the "Hell Hath No Fury" variety? She has been writing to him in the slammer for years, and all he does is rip up her love letters. He's killed several of his wives, IIRC -- so turnabout would be fair play. That way Na-moo, Hyun-moo, and Moo-won (what is it with all these "moo"s?!) would be off the hook. They've suffered more than enough at Psycho Dad's hands, and shouldn't have to euthanize him and go to jail for it. I think it would be hilarious if the groupie turns out to be a black widow who has been below police radar. I can't wait to find out that she's taken out numerous life insurance policies on him and is going to make a killing in more ways than one. (I learned about that trick from watching MAD DOG.)

I found it refreshingly creepy when Do-jin pinned Fanboy against the fence and unleashed that killer smile as he addressed him by his real name. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to read that as Na-moo's rumored Dark Side making a strategic appearance, or Detective Chae's calculated mind game to upset the copycat killer's equilibrium, or what passes for equilibrium.

- Continued -

Beware of Rampant Speculation
Part 2 of 2

It's not clear to me whether Fanboy and Groupie know about each other. Might they take each other out in a hissy fit of jealousy when they each discover that Psycho Dad has in essence been two-timing them?

In the "Aw, so cute" category, Detective Go's affectionate pat on the head for Na-moo. As soon as I saw Psycho Dad's gaze falling on then, I feared for the good detective. Has he been fired or only suspended for shredding the report of the Christmas Eve Killer's head injury? There was a scene of him working with Mom at her restaurant, and it made me wonder if he's been drummed out. Or maybe he helps out on his day off.

Is that lovely cottage on the hill where Mom & So-jin were eating breakfast when the news report of Psycho Dad's escape aired their own place, or are they staying with Do-jin? I seem to recall his telling them to stay at his place when Hyun-moo got out of jail. It's such a nice bright, sunny house and yard that it seems too bucolic for our depressed detective. Not to mention too pricey for a police officer's salary. Prosecutor Moo-won, on the other hand, is crammed into an officetel, presumably downtown. I would have thought he could afford a nicer place, but he's even more depressed and guilt-ridden than Do-jin. – I'm really confused about the house because it contrasts so sharply with the grungy location of Mom's restaurant.

I didn't understand how Psycho Dad actually escaped following the crash of the prison transport. Maybe we haven't seen the whole scene yet. Was Jeon Yoo-ra standing around with a submachine gun a la Patty Hearst at a Symbionese Liberation Army's bank heist? (Iconic photo in link below.) Otherwise I cannot figure out how he went from being tied up and just standing around outside the bus as two squad cars full of cops arrived at the crash site to talking with the little boy in the stairwell of Jeon Yoo-ra's apartment building.

[Historic note: In 1974, California newspaper heiress Patty Hearst was kidnapped by a terrorist group and went on to rob banks with them. Stockholm syndrome was cited in defense at her trial. Somehow her case seems relevant to Psycho Dad's kin and targets. https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/07/opinions/patty-hearst-kidnapping-toobin-opinion/%5D

Thanks again for a great recap!

-30-

Ok, there’s no way I can watch this one with all the “home improvement” going on, so I’m just reading the recaps. I just have to say, mary, your recaps are hilarious even with all the death and violence. I can just imagine you sitting and watching and yelling at the characters.

I'm really surprised Dad had his new son go after his precious daughter, though it may have just been to reassert control over the family. Hyun Moo is my tortured fave and I can't wait for everyone to team up against Team Monster.

Thanks for the recap @mary
Bye-bye Reporter Park, you are such a fun-to-hate character. Though I honestly want her to survive for a few more episodes, I guess the drama writer says otherwise.
Evil dad finally on the loose, am I the only one who is curious about how he managed to outrun a group of police and prison warden? I'm pretty sure guns are drawn out.
When I saw the evil dad smile fade out prior Do-Jin smile, I seriously think the 1st target to kill after he got away is Chief.
We should give Hyun-Moo a big hug for his effort in rescuing So-Jin from Ji-Hong!

Heo Joonho why are you such an electric powerful fully-in-control phenomenal actor who crushed my soul in that scene where your unrepentant murderous Yoon Heejae is watching your son with the detective?

Actually that should have been written in the past tense because by the end of these two episodes you went with crazy eyes, that lazy actor's crutch when portraying psychopaths. The abrupt change in performance style crushed my soul in a different way.

Honestly, I read the recaps for @mary's comments. I get so much laughs every time, it's enough to balance all the angst in this show. (Which I love, surprisingly. I'm Team Fluff all the way but what is with this drama hahaha)

Am I the only one who does not miss Report Park? I never liked her for the same reason Mary is sad she's gone already--she had no actual character. She was just there to cause problems and rile people up. I didn't even hate her that much. I find characters that are extreme like that with no explanation so boring. Goodbye and good riddance, lady.

I finally got around to looking up the OST for COME HERE AND HUG ME. I've posted all 5 pieces and their instrumental versions on my fan wall.

Rod Stewart's "Sailing" plays in the background of Ep. 28, which I watched last night.

Sadly, my favorite instrumental passage seems to be incidental music, but I was able to find it in a Kocowa clip.

Enjoy! ;-)

After this drama, Yoon Jong Hoon and Kim Kyung Nam has become my fav actor. What a performance of both of them....

Beware of Spoilers!
Page 1 of 5

In reply to @sicarius July 13, 2018 at 1:52 AM
http://www.dramabeans.com/2018/07/come-here-and-hug-me-episodes-21-24/#comment-3271480

I moved it here to reclaim the Reply button and a wider column. ;-)

I guess the ultimate question in this show is whether or not Nam woo is like his father or not and if it's hereditary.
Thing is, so far it just seems to me that Do Jin chooses to act like that when the situation requires. Rather than just twisting everyone round his thumb and making them cower before him like dad does.
But I just don't know if they're going to go that route or have him snap or what. I don't really feel like the deepness of that whole "is psychopathy hereditary" thing has been explored yet.

First off, I agree with you that Do-jin chooses to act and speak like his father when he deals with white-collar-crook-turned-copycat-killer Seung-woo. He is a spiritual weakling attracted to the charismatic Yoon Hee-jae, and now deeply in thrall to his master “father.” I cannot help but wonder if he has some kind of personality disorder. He is a fanatic willing to kill, and a bit better at it than Hyun-moo. What he lacks in follow-through and success he makes up for with initiative and unbridled enthusiasm. His attacks mainly succeed because his targets are drunk, distracted by their handphones, or are situationally clueless. Do-jin communicates in an alpha style to which Fanboy is accustomed to submit, and the latter blinks and backs down. It's like watching a pair of wolves decide which is dominant.

Although the question of the heritability of psychopathy has been superficially bandied about in this show, I don't think I've seen even one psychiatrist in a white lab coat expound on it. (Unlike, for instance, the shrinks in OH HAE-YOUNG AGAIN, who valiantly struggled to figure out what was going on with Park Do-kyung's premonitions of death.) Instead, the drama is addressing different – but related – topics. By this point, there's no time for a deep philosophical examination of any of them. Instead, the drama all along has been holding up a mirror to society and highlighting the hypocrisy of “good” citizens who fail to see how their own behaviors and mean-spiritedness make them as evil and spiritually bankrupt as serial killer Yoon Hee-jae. In fact, the holier-than-thou types are even worse than him because they deny their own savagery and culpability. (Not to mention Do-jin's sunbae's criminal theft and suppression of evidence as part of his crusade to wangtta his subordinate. Arg!) MISS HAMMURABI has been doing similarly thought-provoking things with its cases. The scarcity/inaccessibility of mental health and alcoholism treatment facilities in ROK has been raised in that drama, and is tangential to this one.

- Continued -

Beware of Spoilers!
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I see the ultimate questions posed by COME HERE AND HUG ME as more along the lines of:

Is Yoon Hee-jae's psychopathy (sociopathy?) the product of nature or nurture or volition, and is it heritable / transmissible to his children? Can it be stopped?

What is the nature of evil, and the role of free will in those who commit evil deeds?

To paraphrase Jiddu Krishnamurti, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society family.” Do-jin has always resisted his father's efforts to seduce him into becoming a killer. Hee-jae is actually an emotional weakling who compensates for his own horrendous childhood by bullying his sons, intimidating his wife and daughter, seeking Na-moo's approval – and killing innocent strangers. Na-moo refuses to validate his father's murderous lifestyle by emulating him. Psycho Dad spurns Hyun-moo, who desperately seeks his acceptance and validation and would be only too happy to follow in his footsteps. His fatal flaw is that he lacks the killer instinct that Dad prizes – and can clearly see from a mile away.

How did Psycho Dad become so warped? According to his autobiography, Yoon Hee-jae's family of origin was afflicted with alcoholism. I'm willing to bet that addiction, maladaptive behaviors related to it, and maybe even brain damage from fetal alcohol syndrome, are at the root of his repulsive hobby, or contribute to it. Not to mention the physical violence and verbal abuse that is depicted as part of everyday life in Kdramas. Was he clunked on the head once too often when he was a kid? Was he emotionally brutalized the same way he now treats his own family?

-Continued -

Beware of Spoilers!
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According to Swiss psychiatrist Alice Miller in Prisoners of Childhood aka The Drama of the Gifted Child, For Your Own Good, and Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence, brutality disguised as child-rearing practices is the mechanism of transmission of untold violence from generation to generation. Victims grow up to become abusers themselves. In a conversation with Miller published in OMNI magazine, interviewer Diane Connors, herself a psychotherapist, writes:

Alice Miller's stories portray abused and silenced children who later become destructive to themselves and to others. Adolf Hitler, says Miller, was such a child. Constantly mistreated by his father, emotionally abandoned by his mother, he learned only cruelty; he learned to be obedient and to accept daily punishments with unquestioning compliance. After years, he took revenge...

Miller uses the phrase "poisonous pedagogy" to describe what we inflict on children "for their own good" out of our hypocrisy and ignorance. She perceives that we instill humiliation, shame, fear, and guilt as we are "training" children. By encouraging conformity, suppressing curiosity and emotions, a parent reduces a child's ability to make crucial perceptions in later life...

Miller:
Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life you'll try to earn love... Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty... The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than to think, "Oh, she is a good mother, it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis.

Interview with Alice Miller: “The Roots of Violence” by Diane Connors in OMNI magazine, March 1987.
https://www.naturalchild.org/alice_miller/roots_violence.html

What Dr. Miller says above is exactly what we see playing out in COME HERE AND HUG ME. Hyun-moo tries to alienate himself from everyone except Dad, from whom he fruitlessly attempts to earn recognition, if not love. At the opposite end of the spectrum, Na-moo is freighted with guilt and shame over what his father has done. He throws himself into a dangerous profession in which he frequently gets severely injured in the line of duty – a socially-acceptable form of risk-taking behavior.

Meanwhile, double-orphan Gil Moo-won is drowning in guilt for killing his biological parents' murderer in self-defense, as well as survivor's guilt towards both sets of dead parents.

- Continued -

Beware of Spoilers!
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Is Yoon Hee-jae an alcoholic himself? Based on his personality and predilection for violence, I would not be surprised if he is, although he doesn't need to drink to inflict pain and suffering on others. (See “dry drunk syndrome.”) Although he dishes it out while sober, Hee-jae does exhibit some classic alcoholic behaviors and attitudes. He is an epic control freak. In his own warped way, he's a perfectionist, which is why Hyun-moo can never make the cut as his heir apparent. Deep down, he is a very angry person who denies his own vulnerability.

Hyun-moo and Na-moo are grandchildren of alcoholics, which puts them at risk of developing the disease themselves. Their family's dynamics have been screwed up for at least two generations. Plus it may have nothing to do with being metabolically-challenged. Curiously, alcoholism is not only a physical disease, but one with mental and emotional aspects. It has been described as a “physical manifestation of a spiritual illness” – which is Hee-jae in spades. Apparently he did not have even one person in his young life – a teacher, neighbor, or other emotionally-healthy adult – to throw him the kind of life line his sons received from Mom and So-jin, Nak-won and her parents, and Detective Go.

Aside from being an introvert with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression, Na-moo is a classic example of an overly-responsible, (academically) perfectionistic, tightly self-controlled, over-functioning adult grandchild of an alcoholic who has sacrificed himself to the point of near-martyrdom. He chooses to confront shame and guilt head-on rather than denying or trying to escape it, which comes across as wallowing in those emotions. He places others' well-being and safety above and before his own. Na-moo is a rescuer.

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Beware of Spoilers!
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The thoroughly excellent Kdrama MAWANG / THE LUCIFER / THE DEVIL deals with evil, redemption, and forgiveness. A copy of M. Scott Peck's landmark work People of the Lie tellingly appears in the hands of the mysterious lawyer. I discussed it in the thread that popped up around the end of 2017 when I watched it in January. This post mentions other Kdramas I commented on with reference to family dysfunction and Alice Miller's writings:
http://www.dramabeans.com/2007/04/devil-mawang-wave-of-japanese-support/#comment-3160308.

LOOKOUT is another excellent drama that features a father-and-son team of sociopathic predators and the antihero who seeks to avenge his father. OH HAE-YOUNG AGAIN has a horrendously parasitic and abusive Mother From Hell, as does TEMPERATURE OF LOVE, which also sports a father who dishes out physical and emotional violence. The female lead in BECAUSE THIS LIFE IS OUR FIRST engages in convert emotional manipulation that really rang my chimes because it felt so predatory. I commented at length in that show's ep. 15 recap comments.

In BEAUTIFUL MIND, Heo Jun-ho turns in a powerful performance as the adoptive neurosurgeon father of a child with a brain injury. Based on the location of the surgical accident, Dr. Lee Gun-myung devises a stringent educational program for Lee Young-O, who is in danger of becoming a psychopath incapable of feeling emotion. Young-O grows up to become an accomplished healer in his own right, but pays a high price.
http://www.dramabeans.com/2016/07/beautiful-mind-episode-12/#comment-2345653

Comments on Chef Jung-sun's mechanisms for coping with his abusive parents' dysfunctional marriage in TEMPERATURE OF LOVE.
http://www.dramabeans.com/2017/10/temperature-of-love-episodes-13-14/#comment-3104781

As for the genesis of human evil, it was examined in VOICE vis-à-vis serial killer Mo Tae-goo. I commented on the subject in the recap threads (ep. 13 in particular), especially with regard to Goethe's poem “Der Erlkönig” (The Alder King). As soon as I saw the book on a side table, I knew it dealt with the making of the monster. Subsequent episodes bore out my hunch. I've posted literary sources on my fan wall. This gives an overview of my take on what made Mo Tae-goo tick:
http://www.dramabeans.com/2018/03/voice-2-offers-role-of-new-team-leader-to-lee-jin-wook/#comment-3222714

-30-

thank you so much for this recap! i just recently started the show and i am already caught up. everyone's acting is superb!! new fan <3

I actually expected myself to get thoroughly frustrated by the very slow moving romance. But after spending 12 hours with our lovebirds, I feel that they are actually moving at just the right pace. While Do-jin and Jae-yi has seemingly moved on with their respective lives, chasing their dreams and building relationship anew with people important in their lives, their connection (and budding romantic relationship) with each other has been frozen in time ever since 12 years before. It was clear from their continuous flashbacks whenever they are around each other that they still couldn't see the other person apart from the horrific incident that shaped both of them. I think it's only right that they would need quite some time to unlearn all those guilt ridden point-of-view and impulsive action.

Besides, I think for once, the sparse skinships actually makes sense in this relationship. It always felt that while both Do-jin and Jae-yi are mature and functional adults, they still regarded romantic love and relationship from teenager's eyes. When their connection was forcefully severed 12 years ago, I can almost see how they never actually outgrow that young, innocent phase until they finally met each other again. And that's probably why, while I welcome a more speedy growth of their romantic love, I don't begrudge them for taking their sweet time maturing out of their young romantic phase that's punctuated with angsty staring contest and hesitant skinships.

Also, what's with these people and their tendency to use their body as a human shield? Both Do-jin and Hyun-moo needed to be reminded that they aren't invincible. And being hurt will only make it harder for them to do their protecting duty well.