He does not have anything to apologize for. He was the victim. Let's not forget that she unilaterally decided she was going to spill the beans to his mother, revealing his humiliation, in episode 5 (right after acting all offended he would do the right thing and reveal to her lover's wife the truth, rather than leaving it up to when the cheaters felt like it, which would have meant never, them preferring to deceived her indefinitely rather than face the consequences of their own actions).

This is not to say that seeking feedback from the cesspool that is the interned was *not* a colossally stupid decision. It was. And the fact that people that his wife never hurt get to claim that she deserves forgiveness (which is not theirs to give), with no skin in the game. Insulting of the viewer's intelligence (as well as hard to believe, given anonymity making people scum and basic logic pointing out that he never felt inclined to betray her -if we can even use that word, since she broke their bond and promise, which to me are from the on null and void, morally speaking-, even with the stress and disappointment of the deception... not a compliment, revenge sex would have felt sweet, certainly better than beating up someone in a show of impotence).

"Hyun-woo insists that it’s all his own fault for not making Soo-yeon happy after he promised to take care of her"

As Soo-yeon gets ready to leave, Hyun-woo notices that she’s folded all of his and Joon-soo’s laundry. He calls out to her that she’s a really bad woman — the worst, he says. “But,” he continues, “I’m even worse than you.”

To point out some basic facts, he was kind, asked her whether she needed something when he came home from work, and tried to reach out to her asking whether she was alright -she smiled and lied to his face-. He wanted them to spend time together to reconnect the day after their anniversary (which they both forgot, yet he only him is the "heel"?), and she spurned him, lying to his face, in order to sleep with her lover. Says something about her priorities, her taking him for granted, how much they were willing to put in the relationship.

He would have never cheated on her, like her lover's wife would have never cheated on her husband. Their deceitful spouses would have and did. He did not see her clearly (but she did not make any effort to communicated and he was not a mind reader): he though she was happy and she was not, he though she was loyal, trustworthy, decent, and she was none of those things.

She was the kind of person that would spin a premeditated long term deception to be with scum that was betraying his wife and children (not that she was any better), and would prefer to be with him over her husband (who she ghosted when he was trying to reconnect and work to save their relationship).

I find the idea of staying together for the kid utterly repulsive. To quote the monk from My Mister, children do not want parents sacrificing for them, if you are not going to tell your child to sacrifice why would you live that way? It's also an unfair responsibility to place on their shoulders, a weight they don't deserve to carry (that of being their parents' chains). To quote christopher hitchens, "Please, please don't tell me you stayed together for the kids".

I really, really dislike the mother. Not a care in the world for her child's happyness, under the unfounded assumption the child would prefer his father to stay with someone that deceived him for half a year, with no regard for her husband or child, nor for the wife and child of her lover. and how what they were doing could and did wreck their lives.

In his position, I would have known, and I would *not* have wanted them to stay together (specifically, for him to stay with her). I would have wanted him to find himself someone better, more deserving.

I think that this PTSD-induced trauma is likely, what I find is strange is that it is triggered by physical contact but that he is otherwise okay -I would have expected him to think about this rather constantly, given the short time span where it all happened-.

Just to understand... now he is saying that even the fact that he is broken and traumatized is *his* fault? He was the victim of their sick deception and was hurt so badly he is suffering from trauma, and is *actually ashamed of his own mental health issue that their disgusting action caused*? Is he insane? No, the reasonable, suspension-of-disbelief respecting version of him was the "the perp is not the victim" version of chapter 5. It's one thing to be self critical in terms of wanting to improve. It's another thing to think you deserve to be karmically punished for some small disattention (really, disattention they both shared, as evinced by the fact they both forgot about the anniversary, and he did care a lot for her -her being the light of his day, asking whether she needed something when he was coming back, asking how she was doing -and having her smile and lie to his face... what should he have done, learned to mind read?-, trying to get her to reconnect and having her lie to his face to go with her lover, the day after their anniversary.

Compare with her lover, philandering filth that was willing to betray his wife and children, and to sleep with a married woman that had children of her own, because hurting/humiliating/deceiving someone that never did anything to wrong him for months -until caught- did not matter to him enough if it mean he could not satisfy his selfish whim (and the protagonist's wife was the same sort of person). Both of the cheated spouses were the kind of people that would never cheat, even after such a let down, and would take them back (neither of which are good thing, revenge sex followed by swift divorce from their respective spouses would have been fully warranted).

Agree with the "not trying to fully understand her" and "so many things he didn't know", though not for the reasons implied in the episode.

First of all, we should remember that she didn't open up and communicate any of this to him, even when he asked her how she was -she smiled and lied-. That is, when she didn't intentionally deceive him to satisfy her selfish whims, like in the last half a year. So, he is essentially blaming himself for not being a mind reader.

But I agree with the fact that he should have really gotten to know the kind of person she was. Here, one needs to remember that it's not that he didn't want to, but that he thought he did (not being a mind reader). That's why he trusted her unconditionally: he shouldn't have.

So, he should have learned who she really was. That means not happy, but stressed out. It also means not someone worthy of his trust, but someone that would abuse that trust, deceiving him for half a year, to have an affair with someone with a family, a wife and a kid, that never did anything wrong to her. Someone willing to hurt those people, and her own family, to satisfy a selfish whim. Someone that would prefer to pass time with her lover -philandering scum that deceived his wife and children, not that she was any better- rather than try to reconnect with her husband like he offered. Someone that would have continued to lie to him indefinitely.

"making her feel alone"

I don't think this is a correct claim. She was lonely. She did not have a circle of friends, at least that we see (contrary to him). She was unhappy with her life in ways that were situational and not tied to something he did or did not do. Her career is not going in the desired direction and she chose to take on too many commitments without saying no or reaching out to ask for a compromise. Note how many of these things would be true even without her husband in the picture. In short, he is not the *cause* of her unhappyness, nor, frankly, is he her parent or therapist. Couples need to communicate, if he does not know something it's up to her to tell him, she cannot expect him to know how she feels if she smiles and tells him she is ok when he asks, any more than she can expect him to know of her affair when she lies to his face.

This is a key point: I don't think it's reasonable at all for him to expect to be able to *make* her happy if she is otherwise unsatisfied with her life. He cannot make her career take off. He cannot be a surrogate for a friend group. He cannot force her to trim down her commitments and, say, take up a hobby, or to hire someone to watch over her kid (maybe their parents, if they don't want to pay), or to put him in a boarding school. She made choices about the commitments she took on, and she is the one that ultimately has to decides what her priorities are. If she chooses to do everything, that's fine as well, but then stress is to be expected and managed (think Hermione in the...

"We forgive your wife"

I found thins mightily irritating. It's not their place to forgive, they are not the ones she hurt. And objectively speaking there is really nothing about what she did that deserves forgiveness, nor anything she could do to make up for it and earn such forgiveness. Again, had he not caught her red handed she would still be lying to his face, and spurning his attempts to reconnect in favor of spending time with someone who was in turn betraying his own wife and children.

If she wants to seek forgiveness from someone, besides her husband (and child), the wife and children of her lover are the ones she should talk to (if she was shameless enough to face them, then again she was shameless enough to ruin their lives for a whim). From their last interaction I would say the poor woman, the victim of her actions and the person that she *actually* hurt and *actually* has the right to forgive her or not, is most definitely convinced she does *not* deserve forgiveness. And she is right.

I think that he should start to see a therapist about his shattered self esteem, if he now is convinced that he is worse than his wife and deserved to be treated that way (like a battered housewife thinking she deserved to be hit, or a victim of sexual abuse accepting the "you shouldn't have drunk/wore that dress/gave hints" misogynistic narratives). This is saying that someone that stole bread deserved having their hands cut off. No. He was a bit inattentive. She was as well (they both forgot their anniversary, yet somehow only he is the "heel"). There is no proportionality, nor is it expected for her to deceived him indefinitely.

Her lover was a much worse husband, someone that would betray his wife and children to sleep with a married woman who had kids of her own. Yet his wife never cheated on him even after that (she is one of those people that never would, as is the protagonist). This clearly shows that the key variable here is not his suitability as a husband, but his wife's suitability as his life partner.

I can't understand why he would think he "deserves" his treatment, when his wife's lover betrayed *his* family and is still married and not cuckholded: clearly, the relevant variable here is not how he behaved, but who he chose to marry. He should have gone for someone better that wouldn't cheat (like her lover's wife, who, like the protagonist, never would).

I don't agree with him taking on the entire fault for fully understanding what was going on and not knowing many thing (among which the fact that she was having an affair with a married philanderer with a kid).

He is not a mind reader. It's not that he didn't want to know, it's that he thought he knew, and he was wrong (which is something she capitalized on in order to exploit his unconditional trust). When he asked whether something was wrong she smiled and lied to him. Other commenters have said, maybe regarding the stress/housework or affair explanations/excuses, that she didn't speak up because he shut her down or that he heard what he wanted. This is not in the drama, but a projection of what they want to be the case: in the first chapters it is made pretty clear that they basically never fought, and their later fights cannot exactly be treated as representative, as those were interactions they had after he discovered her deceptions, and he correctly pointed out her excuses as the rationalizations they are. Again, the guy is not a mind reader.

His wife should have corrected/responded to her "I am worse than you" claim as it is factually incorrect: they had communication issues, but as much or more so than him not listening (or thinking he needed to see something when he thought he knew), it is about her not speaking.

I find the "I am worse than you" claim completely indefensible: objectively speaking, who was the one that wrecked two families, hers and her lovers', with her actions? Nothing he did or didn't do compares. Objectively speaking, they had fixable issues that they could have addressed had she spoken up about her problems. She was the one that metaphorically punched the other person in the dut while they were having a simple verbal discussion, by doing
something the relationship could not recover from. He would never have betrayed her, same as her lover's wife.

The embarassing thing is that he is basically the one actively doing the growing and fighting and trying to make this whole thing work. While she should be the one doing some self reflection and fighting to save her marriage (a lost cause as if he had any sense and she any shame, she would simply vacate the premises).

I found his self harted and self blame repulsive enough.

I found the suggestion of "understanding why she did it" insulting. Okay, that's something that could be addressed. But frankly, the motive is besides the point. Reminds me of a journal article I had read that used those exact words: the loneliness, the thing missing from the marriage, etc. might all have been valid complaints to address in the appropriate manner, or grounds for divorce. They are not reasons to cheat. For that matter, we see characters here that have been put through much worse: the protagonist, her lover's wife. They don't cheat (they don't even abandon their partners). They should. The wife beating drunk, or a philanderer like her lover, or herself for that matter, do deserve to be cheated on (was hoping for some revenge sex between the cheated spouses). Him being slightly inattentive might be true in and of itself, but we cannot seriously consider it a "reason to cheat" any more than we can seriously consider "stealing a loaf of bread" a reason for "having your hand cut off". There is no proportion. This cannot be an excuse/rationalization. They might be true. But unhappyness does not equate cheating. Again, her lover's wife and her husband have more than enough reason to be unhappy, and they won't cheat on their spouses (though shey should, as they would deserve it). There is simply no proportionality between an unintentional slight and a premeditated (her "not inteding to" is hogwash and evasion) half a year long deception.

There is another element to this, namely that her lover is married and has a family. She does not know them, and they *surely* did not to anything to deserve the hurt/humiliation/deception, so there is no possible way they could be factored into her "reason" (on the other hand, being able to do this to them signals a rather sociopathic lack of empathy). Again, surely they *did not* contribute to her decision to hurt/humiliate/deceive them, given that she did not even know them in the first place and they did nothing to her. She simply didn't care about hurting her, at least not enough to avoid doing that if it meant giving up on satisfying her selfish whim. This is an angle the show should have focused more on. It's not as if it's normal callously hurting people you don't know if you can satisfy your selfish whim.

We have reached full circle. Starting in a sane place (wanting to grow but thinking that what she did was out of proportions and unacceptable, and not something people like him or her lover's wife would ever do -not to mention that it was not only cheating, but cheating with a married man with kids-), basically the "stealing bread does not imply or justify having your hands chopped off", and ending up in a place where he is blaming himself for his own psychological trauma for the wounds that his wife and her lover have inflicted on him rather than, I don't know, the actual perps (the perps are not the victim) that caused such emotional scars.

I find that there is a fundamental difference between their casual disregard of their partner's family's safety, and the protagonist's hatred here, and in some regards it would have been better had they actually hated them or had any other selfish reason for doing what they did. As it is, the ruination of their own and their partner's family is not even the goal, but simple road kill. That's what meant to point to when I was talking about "selfish whim", which should have really been "superficial whim". Lack of a reason besides just not caring. Hatred would have been better.

I am not sure it is a healthy development when he gets to the point of blaming himself for being unable to heal from the emotional and mental trauma *she* inflicted on him. It means that we have come full circle to clown country.

I mean, I don't think we can talk about "growth" anymore if the result is him apologizing for still being emotionally broken due to *her* actions, I would talk more about involution towards some invertebrate life form.

I found the writing in this chapter particularly ham fisted, starting from the over the top "emergency" and ending to the suspension of disbelief defying "kumbaya chat moment", which was utterly unconvincing and frankly repulsive (the basic facts have not changed, if Bernie Madoff broke a leg it would not make him any less of a thief, it's not as if one random bad thing happening to you has any correlation with, let alone is atonement for what you did).

I am struggling to understand what the wife has done to atone for what she had note in all this time, or to win him back. She is getting saved like a damsel in distress (bad writing), but in terms of actually helping him in any capacity... I don't know. I get the feeling that she should be the one fighting to keep him, while it looks like a unilateral effort on his part to heal the damage that *she* caused, not that any of this would be possible or even desirable.

That feel when your own mental issues are the most sane part of you, the only shred of your shattered ego with any capacity for self preservation.

His mental health issues are the sanest part of him, while the rest is the involuted invertebrate currently apologizing *to his wife* for not having been able to recover from the emotional and mental scar *she caused*.

I mean, I wouldn't know about being worse than her, certainly he did nothing to her as grave and hurtful as she did to him, as clearly demonstrated in no uncertain terms by the simple fact that she is not the one whose emotional and mental health were so thoroughly wrecked as to leave him unable to even have physical contact with their partner.

Instead of apologizing to his wife for not having recovered from the emotional and mental wounds she herself caused, he should be thanking his mental issues for being the only sane part of him left. The rest of him is an abituee in Clown World now.

"There is no forgiveness for a cheater who betrayed her family."

Setting aside the stalking, criminal behavior, I fully endorse this statement, and would add that she destroyed not only her family but also her lover's. The protagonist's current attitude that being slightly inattentive makes him a monster worthy of being cheated on? Let's be clear. Her lover is someone that cheated on his wife with a married woman with her own kids, and planned to deceive her indefinitely, not giving her the ability to make an informed choice. His wife is still faithful to him and will never betray him (in this respect she is like the protagonist, that would never cheat or betray his wife). The two lovers deserve each other -and a relationship of betrayals and deception-. Their cheated spouses deserve each other (or somebody like them), namely people that would never cheat or deceive them, and since they exist, it is clearly not an unreasonable requirement.

I will add that at least he has a good reason to be angry with her and treat her like an enemy, after the way she abused his trust. As her lover's wife demonstrated, even if hurt some people would never cheat. Would really like to be a fly on the wall and check how some self righteous Monday morning quarterback in the comment section would behave if they were put in the same situation. Judging from her husband and her lover's wife's reactions, the righteous, justified anger does not seem to be gender specific.

"There is no forgiveness for a cheater who betrayed her family."

I think that the long term deception is the hardest part to understand in all of this, to be honest: the fact that they were planning to continue the affair and deceive their partners indefinitely. We see how after he discovers the affair she cannot look him in the eye and even wants to divorce because she cannot stand her guilt. So one wonders where that guilt was *before* he discovered her affair. In her shoes, looking at their faces after having been with my lover would cause regret/guilt would eat me alive and make it impossible to last a day without spilling the beans. And we see how easily they broke off the relationship, so I can't understand why they were planning to put themselves through such torture: continuing the affair and continuing to lie to their partners.

Actually, I found the lack of guilt previous to his discovery of the affair, which made her able to think she would carry on seeing her lover and lying to her husband's face indefinitely, rather impossible to understand even granting the stress and everything else (though I by no means get even why adding a lover would clear up her schedule, rather than make it more hectic). I don't think he would be able to explain it either, if pressed.

I think that the "understanding" shouldn't really focus only on the stress bit, which we accept as true, but on how that translated into her wanting to carry on the affair and lie to her husband indefinitely with no apparent guilt, which is particularly inexplicable in light of the fact that she broke it off quite easily and was unable to look him straight in the face right after she was discovered.

The show has focused a lot on the start of the affair, but I don't really agree with the claim of "understanding" made in this chapter. I don't understand her and her actions regarding the fact that she was ready to continue the affair and lie to her husband indefinitely with no apparent guilt, but was able to break the affair off very easily, with no reluctance at their parting, and was unable to even look her husband in the face, right after he discovered it.

I think the show did not go enough in depth exploring her motivations with respect to her lack of guilt at carrying on the affair and lying to her husband indefinitely. We don't really see any guilt in the scenes before the affair is discovered, and a lot afterwards. They did not have any issue breaking the affair off when discovered, so it's not clear why they were planning to continue it past a one-night stand.

I think that while they did explore the question of "why would you have an affair", they didn't get to "why would you continue it". Obviously not for love, as they broke it off immediately. And why is she wrecked by guilt afterwards, but before he knew she was ready to continue cheating and lying to him indefinitely?

How "realistic" of an outcome do you think him appreciating more the difficulty of housework translating into him apologizing to her for not being able to get over the trauma she cause is?

Frankly, he made a complete change/involution towards a spineless being that would apologize to her for not having healed from the emotional scar she caused (thankfully, unlike in episode 8, she does not pressure him tap-tapping her foot as if he owed it to her to get past this on *her* schedule).

Given that she was the one that was willing to deceive him for life, and that she didn't change her opinion on her actions (it's not as if she was convinced they were appropriate and now she is not, she always knew they were despicable and disgusting, otherwise she wouldn't have hidden them), or her husband (she always thought he was a good man, she never thought he was a despicable husband that deserved this), and despite that she was willing to continue the affair and deceive him for life (not sure, given these premises, the ease of the breakup and the fact that she is now so guilty she cannot stand to look at him, how it is possible for her to willingly seek out her lover after their first encounter and plan to cheat and lie about it for life, one would imagine it would be torture) I am a bit concerned about the lack of "action" on her part (in terms of epiphanies, changes of heart, visible and lasting changes in behavior, seeking redemption/atonement -not that she could get it, but she doesn't even try-), in terms of her convincingly making the case that she won't do this again (no visible/lasting character change) or, narratively, that she deserves to be with him (she wouldn't anyway, but it's crazy that between the two he is the one fighting to keep their marriage from falling apart).

I agree with the cheating friend's wife's assertion that the reason does not really matter, the expectation was that they would not cheat, and she did.

I must say that her collapsing in relief, while understandable, underscores to me the difference between that reaction and the surprisingly cold and unresponsive one she had when she was caught red handed, and in her subsequent interactions with her husband. Consider the way she blew her fuse when she discovered he was blogging anonymously, or when he told her lover's wife about the affair. Not that these are the same thing as what happened in this chapter: he had every right, as the victim, to open up about his experiences with whoever he pleased, and her lover's wife definitely had every right to know she was being betrayed and deceived, and deserved to be able to make an informed choice about her life. The thing in this chapter was different: even just for purely selfish reasons, he likely wouldn't want everyone to know he had been cuckholded, indeed the very reason he started blogging anonymously (as countless Sub-Reddits and blogs can attest, not a unique choice) was exactly that he didn't want to open up about this to his own family and friends, and he didn't know who to ask for an opinion. Anyway, contrast her reactions to those with the relative calm when caught red handed, and the way she considered telling, said she would tell, and actually told, her husband's mother about the affair (against her victim's express wishes). All in all, I cannot help but shake the feeling that she seems to care about strangers' opinions more than about her own family's opinions (thought I must say that her reaction after her lover's wife confronted her was tamer than I would have expected going by this logic), which is always more than how much she cared about not actually carrying out her betrayal and deception (and being ready to do this forever, or better yet until she was caught). I would say that in that respect, her priorities are not just messed up, but the opposite of what they should be (her prioritizing her reputation over what her family thinks about her, with basic loyalty and respect and trust being things she was willing to throw to the dogs without a shred of regret or guilt, factually speaking).