Answer Me 1988: Episode 18

by girlfriday

Our gang is all grown up in some ways… and still exactly the same in other ways. But now that they’re a little bit older and maybe just a tiny bit wiser about life, they know what it means to have regrets and start to do things differently this time around. To what effect remains to be seen, but hey, I consider it momentous enough that they’re acting on their feelings now instead of denying and repressing and making puppy eyes. We’re all out of time for that now—there’s only one week left to go!

 
SONG OF THE DAY

Lee Seung-hwan – “기다린 날도 지워질 날도” (Days I Waited and Days That’ll Be Erased) [ Download ]

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EPISODE 18: “Goodbye first love”

We’re all the way in October 1994 now, which means the gang is 23 this year. One by one they rush out to go over to Taek’s room for his birthday party, and both Jung-hwan’s parents and Deok-sun’s parents linger by the doorway, looking wistfully at their second child who never comes home.

Jung-hwan’s parents sigh that they miss the high school years because they got to see their son, while Deok-sun’s dad gets all huffy about her finally coming home and immediately running off to hang out with her friends. He perks up right away when Mom informs him that Bora is coming home though, and yells after Deok-sun that she can just stay out.

Sun-woo comes out of his room (in Taek’s house, squee) and takes issue with Jin-ju not greeting him. He reminds her that there was a time when she was alllll about Oppa, but Jin-ju pouts that Sun-woo is hardly home and always sleepy. Dad tells Jin-ju to be the bigger person and apologize first, and she considers it.

Mom sets the table for Taek’s birthday party and asks Sun-woo to check on him, to make sure he’s not down the street struggling to park his new car. That’s exactly what Taek is doing, in fact, and the hilarious part is that there are no other cars around him. He just has to park it against an empty wall, but can’t figure out why the car won’t go there.

Finally Sun-woo comes to the rescue and sends Taek home because the family is waiting, so Taek complies. Everyone rushes to the door when he comes in, and Jin-ju complains that Oppa came home so late that the food is getting cold. He takes out a lollipop from his pocket and gives it to her, and she’s happy again. Okay, I am actually jealous of a little girl right now. She gets to have Sun-woo AND Taek as oppas?

Taek opens the door to his room to find a lavish home-cooked meal set out for his birthday party, which is pretty damn moving, when compared to the pizza boxes and bottles of Coke he used to have.

Sun-woo heads home after parking the car, which is of course the exact time that Bora turns the corner and arrives on their street. They both pause and look at each other, but before Bora can say anything, Sun-woo gives her a silent courtesy bow and heads inside. Aw, he’s still heartbroken.

The kids sing happy birthday to Taek and give him a pager as a birthday gift, and he says he doesn’t need one or even know how to use it. They complain that he’s the only person without one, and Deok-sun says THEY need him to use it.

Taek asks how Jung-bong is doing and if he’s studying for the bar exam, and Jung-hwan tells him that Hyung isn’t studying at all. Honestly, I thought it was a miracle he even got into college. Dong-ryong says that Bora is the anomaly for locking herself up in a gosiwon and not even visiting her family just to pass the exam, and Taek gives a little glance over at Sun-woo, who’s got his head down.

Mom rattles off a million things to Bora all at once because it’s been so long since she’s been home, and Bora assures her that she’s living well. Dad complains about her living with her friend and Deok-sun always staying over at a friend’s house between flights, and No-eul always off to do another concert (he’s a college student, so he must be in theater/performing arts like he wanted).

They get a call in the middle of dinner because an employee at Dad’s bank took off with some money, and he has to rush off to go catch them. Bora wonders if Dad isn’t too old for the fraud department now, but Mom says he’s still spry and will still earn extra money while he can.

Taek’s birthday party now has beers instead of soda, and the boys grill Deok-sun on her latest boyfriend. She insists that she dumped him, so of course the boys tease her endlessly about being dumped.

Sun-woo and Taek’s parents come over to have drinks with Jung-hwan’s parents, and they ask why the phone line here is always busy when they try to call. It’s because Jung-bong is monopolizing the computer (remember dial-up?), his latest obsession. Some things never change. He’s in a chatroom with a few people, and when he mentions a space travel card, one of the others named Maggie’s Memories (Maggie was Mi-ok’s nickname in high school) names the board game that it came from, and it startles him.

Deok-sun’s mom joins them with today’s newspaper in hand, with a big story about a famous celebrity naming Taek as her ideal type. His parents say that they’d prefer someone ordinary, not famous, but they trust Taek to find someone on his own. He goes on plenty of blind dates all the time, and Dad figures he’ll meet the right person eventually by doing that.

Dad guesses that Taek’s friends are teasing him about that news story right about now. Deok-sun cracks up while reading it, wondering if all these famous people who like Taek know that he can’t tie his shoelaces.

Dong-ryong asks Taek why he can’t manage to have a relationship when he goes on more dates than any of them, and Sun-woo ignores Taek’s protests and tells them the real reason: He goes on blind dates and then gets rejected over and over because he never says anything and the women are frustrated and bored. Lol. Taek pouts that he tries, and they tell him to try harder.

Dong-ryong prods Deok-sun to set them up on a group date, but she doesn’t want to hear complaints from her girlfriends about the guys she brought. Dong-ryong and Sun-woo even get Taek to agree, but Jung-hwan refuses. He’s up in Seoul for a short stint, but eventually he’ll go back to his post and any relationship would end then anyway.

They ask Jung-hwan to play a song as they start drifting off to sleep, and Sun-woo tells Deok-sun to stay over too. But she says she’s going home after this song. Everyone shuts their eyes where they are, but then after a little while, Taek opens his eyes and stares across the room.

Then we see that Jung-hwan has his eyes open too, and they’re both staring at the empty space where Deok-sun was sitting just a moment ago. Deok-sun and Bora share a bed like old times, but both sisters lie awake deep in thought.

In the morning, Deok-sun heads out just a few seconds ahead of Jung-hwan and they miss each other on the street, and then again as Jung-hwan drives by and Deok-sun looks down at her watch. The whole sequence is set to Forrest Gump music, and she goes on a date to watch Forrest Gump with another guy.

The moms ask each other if they’ve seen their kids while they’ve been home, and Jung-hwan’s mom says she’s seen a lot of the back of Jung-hwan’s head. Sun-woo’s mom says she sees a lot of Taek and Sun-woo… when their eyes are closed. In flashback we see Mom and Dad just staring and staring at Taek and Sun-woo while they sleep, wondering if they’ve lost weight since last time or just checking to make sure they’re still breathing. Ha.

Deok-sun’s mom says that Bora does nothing but sleep when she’s home too. They ask if she’s chosen a specialty, and Mom says Bora wants to be a prosecutor, and thankfully her student protesting history won’t stand in the way of that. Jung-hwan’s mom sighs wondering when Jung-bong will ever get to that point, and starts chugging soju straight out of the bottle.

Bora’s friend reminds her about the blind date she promised to go on this weekend. She says it’s with a younger man—a third-year med student at Yonsei who’s a genius. Sun-woo? She says he has a nickname: “Garbage.” Lol, it’s Oppa-ya!

So Garbage Oppa turns out to be Sun-woo’s classmate at Yonsei, and they even share an office at the hospital (and a crossover character in their friend). They help each other out and are friendly, and Garbage asks Sun-woo for his pager number because Sun-woo owes him a favor.

Deok-sun’s dad comes home late and asks to be woken up early because of his big fraud case. He passes out right away, leaving Mom worried about his health. Jung-hwan’s mom stands by the window just waiting for Jung-hwan to come home, and Dad gently tells her that Jung-hwan said he’d be out late.

He’s hanging out at Dong-ryong’s hyung’s restaurant, where Dong-ryong works now. They close up for the night and wait for their friends, and reminisce about the time they saw JYP at that dance competition when they were kids. Dong-ryong asks why Jung-hwan hasn’t dated anyone seriously, and says that going on a few blind dates and dating for a month or two doesn’t count.

Dong-ryong points out that he still hasn’t given anyone his graduation ring (from the military academy, apparently a “fiancée ring” that you give to your girl when you graduate because that’s tradition). Jung-hwan says he doesn’t have a girlfriend to give it to, and Dong-ryong sighs that he’s going to die before ever being able to confess once. Yeah no kidding. Or I’ll die first.

Taek’s colleague at the baduk training center is super grateful to Deok-sun because she introduced him to one of her flight attendant friends, and the friend introduced Deok-sun to her current boyfriend in return.

The boys arrive at the restaurant before Deok-sun, and Taek says he can’t drink because he brought his car. Dong-ryong says that Deok-sun can drive because she quit drinking, which the other guys all say won’t last long.

Deok-sun arrives and they all greet her as Soo-yeon because Dong-ryong remembered that fortuneteller and her predictions, and Deok-sun scowls that she needs to move because there’s nothing they don’t know about her.

They ask if things are going well with the boyfriend, not really believing her, and she insists that she’s really popular elsewhere. Taek: “Where?” Jung-hwan: “Come on, let’s not lie to each other.”

She says she’s going to a concert with the boyfriend this Sunday, and Dong-ryong reminds her that they were all supposed to go see Forrest Gump together. Deok-sun and Taek have both already seen it, which makes the other three grump that they can’t go see a movie with just three guys.

Deok-sun takes that to mean they at least see her as a girl, and offers to cancel her date to go with them. They yell at her for acting all cutesy, and she scowls and asks for a drink. Taek informs her quietly that she can’t because she has to drive, and then continues to drink his beer. Pfft.

They see Dong-ryong home because he’s roaring drunk, and when Deok-sun trips over his front gate, Jung-hwan and Taek both jump in to hold her up on either side. Well that’s not awkward.

Deok-sun comes home and asks Mom why Dad looks so tired these days. She wonders if maybe he should retire, but Mom says he would hate not working, and she’ll make sure to get him some herbal medicine.

Jung-hwan’s mom is still awake until he comes home, and when Taek heads in, Mom is there to make sure he got in safe. She reminds him not to take sleeping pills tonight, and he smiles to find a cup of milk left out for him.

Jung-bong is a bundle of nerves as he decides to ask his chatroom to meet up in person, and he’s floored when Maggie responds: “First floor, not second.” Aw, he’s so happy. I really hope it’s Mi-ok!

Deok-sun’s dad brings up the topic of early retirement with Mom, but she tells him that he can’t retire before their kids are married off. She obviously feels bad for insisting, but doesn’t want their daughters to be at a disadvantage. He takes it back right away and swears he wasn’t considering it seriously.

Deok-sun gets all dressed up for her concert, only to get a message from her date asking to cancel at the last minute. So she changes out of her nice clothes and trudges out in slippers to go buy groceries for Mom, and happens to run into the guys on their way out. She lies that she’s going to the concert anyway, and lets Dong-ryong drive her just to keep up the ruse that she didn’t get dumped.

It must be Blind Date Sunday, because Bora heads out on her blind date and waits for Garbage to page her, and Jung-bong heads out to meet Maggie with his pink shirt and a bouquet of roses.

Taek washes his face in the bathroom, as Deok-sun’s flight attendant friend tells her boyfriend that the guy she set up with Deok-sun turned out to have a girlfriend on the side. Dong-ryong and Jung-hwan grouse when Sun-woo cancels on the movie, and they’re surprised when they notice Deok-sun’s boyfriend at the movie theater with another girl. Dong-ryong figures that Deok-sun got dumped after all, but Jung-hwan looks pissed.

He’s distracted through the whole movie and doesn’t hear a word that Dong-ryong is saying to him, and just as Jenny and Forrest are running through a crowd to get to each other in the movie, Jung-hwan darts up and runs out of the theater. Yeessssss! Ruuuuuun, Jung-hwan, ruuuuuuunn!

He races to his car and peels out of the parking lot, and outside the concert hall, Deok-sun leaves a message with her friend Ja-hyun to come to the concert and bring her some clothes. She’s freezing in her sweats and slippers, but insists on waiting outside.

Jung-hwan speeds the whole way, beside himself every time he’s stopped by a red light and forced to wait. He looks like he might start running people over if he can’t get there faster.

Deok-sun waits and waits even though the concert has started, and even the ticket-takers start to pity her. But then she looks up and sees someone approaching…

Jung-bong waits and waits, looking up and looking despondent every time someone else walks through the door. And then finally, someone makes him stand up…

Bora looks across the table at her date and asks, “Are you Garbage?”

Deok-sun gapes as someone runs over to her out of breath… Omo, it’s Taek!

And aaaaack, Jung-hwan was literally two steps behind. He turns and walks away, as he narrates: “Fate doesn’t come around at any time. To use the word fate, it has to be a dramatic moment brought by coincidence—that makes it fate. That’s why another word for fate is timing. If I hadn’t gotten caught at just one of those lights, if those damned red lights had helped me out just once… I might be standing in front of her right now, like fate. My first love was always held back by damned timing. That damned timing.”

Jung-bong looks at the girl who just walked in, and yay, it’s Mi-ok! She looks adorable. They don’t even need to say a word to each other, and he just rushes her in a giant hug, crying because he’s so happy to have found her again.

Bora asks her blind date again, “Are you Garbage?” But it’s Sun-woo, not Garbage, and he asks what Bora is doing here. She tells him to answer first, so we flash back to Garbage reminding Sun-woo that he owed him a favor. Garbage got told to go on the blind date, but earlier on Sunday, Na-jung fell and twisted her ankle.

Oppa-ya ran over to find her, and left a message for Sun-woo on his way, cashing in on that favor by asking him to go on the blind date.

Jung-hwan’s night only gets worse as he sits in his car listening to the radio. The news reports an unprecedented forfeit from baduk player Choi Taek, who suddenly forfeited today’s match for personal reasons. He skipped a match to go to Deok-sun?

Jung-hwan slams his steering wheel in anger and cries alone in his car. He narrates, “But fate and timing aren’t just coincidences that find you. They’re moments like miracles, that arise out of choices made because of ardent desire. Surrender and decision, without hesitation—that is what makes timing. He was more ardent, and I should’ve had more courage. It wasn’t the red lights, nor the timing that was bad… but the countless times I hesitated.”

Sun-woo and Bora sit in tense silence for a while, and Sun-woo says bitterly that Bora must feel nothing if she was able to go on a blind date with someone from his school in his department. But she says, “I came for the one-percent chance that it could be you.”

When she heard that his nickname was Garbage, she realized it couldn’t be Sun-woo, but then she thought that maybe he’d hear about the date because it was with one of his classmates. Bora: “And though it’s only a one-percent chance, if you still liked me, then couldn’t we start over?” Her eyes well up with tears as she says, “I know this sounds crazy, but I missed you.” Sun-woo doesn’t know how on earth to respond.

Deok-sun insists that she didn’t get stood up, and Taek just nods and says he knows. He lets her tell the white lie about her date getting into an accident on the way, just throws his jacket around her shoulders. She says she’s not cold, so he says he’s too warm to wear it, and follows her into the concert with a smile.

Jung-hwan wipes his tears and continues to narrate, quoting Forrest Gump: “‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.’ Even if I’ve picked the bitterest chocolate of them all, it can’t be helped. That’s the fate I chose. There’s no regretting it, crying about it, or being heartbroken about it.”

2015. Deok-sun begins another interview at a coffee shop, and when Lee Seung-hwan comes on over the radio, she reminisces about going to many of his concerts. She wonders if they don’t have too much interview footage by now, and says asking her stuff is fine, but her husband normally dislikes doing interviews and she only agreed to do this one because her sister asked.

Husband arrives and stands around awkwardly while Deok-sun runs to get him a coffee, and she tells him to go home, promising that she won’t bug him while he works today. He lies that he likes interviews, and she laughs and tells him to go home. She reminds him to take out the trash, and he says he already did on his way to the comic book store. She mutters at him to stop with the comic books for his image’s sake, and he shuffles off.

Back in 1994, Sun-woo peels open his eyes in the morning to find Mom and Jin-ju staring creepily down at him. He tells them to stop being scary, but Mom pouts that everyone’s asleep. Jin-ju asks why he even comes home if all he ever does here is sleep, and Sun-woo asks to sleep some more, but caves and asks for breakfast.

Jung-hwan wakes up to find his parents doing the same creepy hovering thing, and he jumps out of his skin. He asks why they didn’t wake him, but Mom and Dad wanted to let him sleep in. Mom is so cute about having made his favorite dish, and Jung-hwan laughs into his pillow.

Bora and Deok-sun wake up face-to-face, which surprises Bora since she didn’t hear Deok-sun come home last night. They start the morning off with an old-school fight, and Dad chuckles that it sounds like home again. Dad gets a bloody nose that morning, and Mom looks more worried than usual.

At Sun-woo and Taek’s house, Sun-woo says that all the kids are getting together tonight because Jung-hwan is leaving tomorrow. Taek says he has a match, but it should end early. Jin-ju nags him to do fewer competitions, and when Sun-woo laughs, she nags him not to come home anymore if all he’s going to do is sleep. When Taek laughs at that, she nags him not to date that celebrity who likes him, or else. Guess we know who the boss is around here.

At Jung-hwan’s house, Mom stares and stares at the calendar feeling like something is off, and goes to check the calendar on her nightstand. We see her flip back a few months and find a date circled, but the past few months are clean. Hm, I wonder if it’s menopause.

Deok-sun and Jung-hwan head out together to meet the gang, and he notices that she keeps checking her pager. She asks if it’s okay to take his car when they’re going to drink, and he says she’ll be driving it home. He tells her to put on some music, but all he has are Lee Moon-se tapes so she picks one, and they spend the whole ride bickering like old times.

They have beers with Dong-ryong and Sun-woo, and Taek is on his way. Jung-hwan notices that Deok-sun looks up every time someone opens the front door, which just leaves tiny cracks in my heart every time.

Dong-ryong asks for Jung-hwan’s graduation ring, and Jung-hwan takes it out but says it’s kind of a waste to give it to Dong-ryong. Dong-ryong complains that he doesn’t have anyone else to give it to and will die before ever proposing to a girl, and says, “It’s my wish to see you confess before I die.”

Suddenly Jung-hwan says, “Deok-sun-ah…” and puts the ring box in front of her. HOLY SHIT. He says he was going to give it to her when he graduated, but he’s doing it now. Sun-woo and Dong-ryong stare at each other wondering what’s going on, but Jung-hwan just continues like they’re not even there.

Jung-hwan: “I like you.” He says it again so intently, and then laughs as he tells her about all the things he did, like waiting for an hour outside the house just to go to school with her, or not being able to sleep until she came home from the library every night: “All I ever thought about was you.”

Dong-ryong mouths to Sun-woo: “This bastard must be for real!” Sun-woo tells him to shut it. Jung-hwan names the times they ran into each other on the bus, or went to the concert together, or when she gave him a shirt for his birthday: “I was so happy I thought I’d go crazy.” He says he always wanted to see her more, and was just happy when he was with her. Deok-sun smiles as he says all this, and he adds, “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time: I really like you. I love you.” Omg, I’m a puddle of goo.

The moment lingers, and then suddenly Jung-hwan turns to Dong-ryong and asks, “Is that good, moron? You said this was your wish.” Oh nooooooooes, Jung-hwan, you’re not going to act like it was all a joke, are you? I’m going to go cry in a corner now.

Sun-woo and Dong-ryong are so shocked that they don’t even understand at first, but then they take it as him pulling one over on all of them and laugh. Sun-woo asks Deok-sun if she was fooled too, and she just smiles, not knowing what to say to that. Jung-hwan smiles on the outside, but he looks like he’s on the verge of tears. Are you seriously going to take this TO YOUR FREAKING GRAVE?

Dong-ryong says he’s smitten and confesses that he loves Jung-hwan back, and they laugh it off like it was a prank. Deok-sun looks over at the door again when it opens, and Jung-hwan notes it again.

In flashback, we see that after Jung-hwan told Deok-sun she didn’t look pretty in a hanbok way back in 1988, he ran inside to stare at her from the window. And after showing up to give her an umbrella in the rain and walk away with his cool one-liner, he ran home and freaked out like big dork, and smiled at himself for doing the cool thing.

He was a total spaz about the Christmas present too, and nearly chickened out of asking No-eul to deliver it for him. He finally managed to give it to No-eul, who couldn’t comprehend why Jung-hwan would be giving Deok-sun a Christmas present, and to cover up his own embarrassment, Jung-hwan basically kicked him until No-eul was too afraid to ask more questions. Lol.

The group reminisces about old times over drinks, and they decide to move on to round two and page Taek to meet them there. They get up to go, and Jung-hwan’s ring gets left behind on the table.

 
COMMENTS

Noooo, don’t leave it on the table! Is first love over, just like that? It can’t be over, there are two episodes left! I’m starting to have a mild panic attack here, because I was not expecting Jung-hwan to just fold like that. How can you confess like THAT, so sincere and heartfelt, and then say you’re kidding? That’s not… You can’t… AGH. That confession really threw me for a loop. And I still can’t read Deok-sun’s expressions throughout it—is it just sweet nostalgia for an old crush, and is she waiting for Boyfriend Taek to arrive? (Not that I wouldn’t squee about that either. I mean, that’s kind of the nice thing, or terrible thing, about this love triangle.) Or is she disappointed when he acts like he punked them and she’s trying to save face? I feel like Jung-hwan just took himself out of the race with that final I-love-you-just-kidding, but if he really did, I don’t know if I can handle it. *whimper*

It really is in keeping with their characters for Taek to go all in when he sees an opportunity and for Jung-hwan to hesitate so long that he shoots himself in the foot. So, so much that it kills me. But I am glad that he finally learned his lesson about making your own damn fate, because screw timing and coincidence—you make that fate yourself with every choice, and hesitation and inaction are choices too. That’s a really important thing for Jung-hwan to learn as he finally grows up, even if he learns it in the most painful way possible. The thing that throws a wrench in everything is that we still don’t know how Deok-sun feels about any of this, whether seeing Taek at the concert reignited old feelings, whether Taek finally confessed, or if she’s ever thought of either them in the years since high school.

I didn’t expect to be moved by Jung-bong and Mi-ok’s reunion, because their loveline has always been comic relief or just sweet. But Jung-bong was crying when he finally found her again, and I suddenly felt like he’d had a hole in his heart all those years. It fits his character more than anyone else that he’d be fixated on his first love and never move on, and because their loveline was never guaranteed, I was so relieved when she walked through the door.

Bora and Sun-woo, on the other hand, were always going to get back together; it was just a matter of how. It was the best crossover yet to have Garbage and Sun-woo as classmates in med school, since it works out that they’re the same age (I never really stopped to think about how the timelines overlapped, and find it funny that these kids are older than Na-jung and the rest of the 1994 gang, even though, duh). The blind date switcheroo might’ve been an actual twist of fate, but I liked that Bora owned up to saying yes for that tiny chance that she might see Sun-woo again. It’s nice to see the reversal too, because he always chased her and liked her more when they were young, and now she has to work to convince him to give their relationship another chance. I thought it was cute that she went on the date even after knowing that Sun-woo’s nickname could never be Garbage, just on the off chance that she could make him jealous. It’s so roundabout when she could just knock on his door, but he clearly hasn’t made it very easy for her to approach him.

It’s a big relief to know that everyone has at least attempted to move on and date other people, and that it’s not for lack of trying that they’re still lingering on first loves (I’d argue that it’s because some of you never confessed, but that’s water under the bridge). Taek and Sun-woo’s family is so cute that I just want to spend entire episodes with Bossy Princess Jin-ju telling her oppas how to behave, with Mom looking after Taek and Dad getting Sun-woo to play catch. They’re like a mini Brady Bunch, and I love it. Taek eats whole meals, has a little sister to dote on, and their house doesn’t seem so quiet and sad anymore. I found it hilarious that all the parents kept staring at their sleeping kids because they never see them anymore—it helped make the passage of time feel real, in a way that just cutting their hair or dressing them differently doesn’t do nearly as well. Because the parents actually act like they desperately miss their kids, I find myself thinking of them as having left the nest and living full adult lives out there. It makes the group reunions bittersweet too, but it means more that they still get together on Taek’s birthday because that’s tradition, and that they make time for each other even though their lives are going in all sorts of different directions. At least I know that no matter which way the loveline goes, our gang will always be the same. Okay, I’m off to go cry some more.

 
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