Discovery of Romance: Episode 14
by dramallama
There’s no use in hiding feelings anymore. Everyone is caught up, and everything is out in the open. Through an emotional mess of revelations and confrontations, the members of our love triangle take some significant steps and missteps to assert what their hearts want. Though it may seem like a final battle between the two men in Yeo-reum’s life, the decision is ultimately hers. She may be selfish and ambiguous to a fault, but if anything, she knows what she wants.
EPISODE 14: “Did you just call me a bitch?”
We see Ha-jin opening the box of nostalgia in slow motion, and his face immediately falls when he sees the unexpected. He picks up the memorabilia — the photos, the wooden ring, letters — and the anger and shock on his face build up as he hits the realization that Tae-ha and Yeo-reum were past lovers. Unable to take any more, he quickly shuts Pandora’s Box and shoves it back under the cabinet, but his mind is still racing.
Yeo-reum goes about her morning routine and puts on her engagement ring all while Ha-jin is confirming her deceit. He calls Joon-ho out to talk and confronts him about Tae-ha and Yeo-reum’s relationship. He assumed she’s had past relationships, but the problem is that it’s Kang Tae-ha.
Joon-ho immediately defends Yeo-reum and tells him lying was his idea. Everything’s in the past, so there was no good in Ha-jin knowing anyway. He claims that even with the contract work, there are no lingering feelings. But that doesn’t address Ha-jin’s main problem with this: “The three of you fooled me. Everything that didn’t make sense then makes complete sense now. Hyung, you were watching by the sidelines, and you’re supposed to be my friend.”
Being the loyal friend, Joon-ho continues to convince Ha-jin to believe in Yeo-reum. “You and I both know that Yeo-reum’s committed to you. What more do you need? Are you going to break up with her just because her ex is Kang Tae-ha? If anything, Yeo-reum is someone who knows what her heart wants. If she had any lingering feelings for Tae-ha, do you think she would have accepted your proposal?”
Ha-jin thinks back to his proposal and cools down a bit. He admits that he knows she loves him and that they’re not on terms to easily break up. But she has a box. “I’ve been thinking about all the possibilities of why she has that box, but no matter how I think about it, I can’t understand.”
The box is news to Joon-ho, and when Ha-jin explains its contents, he changes loyalties. It kills Ha-jin to try to understand, but he really (understandably) can’t. Joon-ho asks what he’s going to do about it, and Ha-jin replies with a sinister look in his eye, “I’m thinking about it now.”
As Tae-ha gets ready for work, he thinks back to Yeo-reum’s lifelong wish to build a chair she really loves. He goes to ask Director Yoon — who’s snuggled up under Tae-ha’s covers — for any company and convention documents regarding furniture. As they’re about to leave he gets a text from Yeo-reum asking for any resources on the “modern French style” interior. He smiles and Director Yoon notes the similarities between the two workaholics, working even on a weekend.
Yeo-reum prepares breakfast with Sol, who voices her worries. After hearing about her wavering because of Tae-ha, it was disconcerting that Yeo-reum didn’t come home last night. To make her friend even more unsettled, Yeo-reum proposes the extreme. “What if I did cheat? What if one day I slept with Tae-ha and asked you to make an alibi for me? What are you going to do then?” Sol turns serious and tells Yeo-reum to never do something like that.
But Yeo-reum remedies the makjang hypothetical with what she really means. “Of all the things I said to you, the only thing you remember is me admitting to faltering because of Tae-ha. You don’t remember me saying that I love Ha-jin. The only reason I stay by Ha-jin’s side is because I love him.” Still unsure, Sol asks if she’ll go to Tae-ha if she changes her mind. “Of course. I can’t leave the person I love and live with Ha-jin like a shell.”
Sol gives her a bewildered look and calls her a terrible complicated person. Yeo-reum acknowledges her complexity and asks Sol to recognize it as well — not just assume the worst because of one thing she said. Joon-ho and Ha-jin return, claiming to have gone on a bro date, so Yeo-reum cheerily prepares food while Ha-jin’s stoic face goes unnoticed.
At the office, Tae-ha researches chair designs, and Director Yoon hauls in some documents. Director Yoon hadn’t realized that Yeo-reum had won a national furniture design contest and wonders why she didn’t continued that work six years ago. Tae-ha explains that after she’d won, her father passed away, she broke up with him, and also quit her job. She’s regrettably undervalued for her work.
Director Yoon then asks about what their relationship was like. Based on their current interactions, they must have been a quarrelsome couple. Tae-ha thinks back and admits to being a strange couple. “We fought a lot, we both had a temper, and we were both selfish. But we were strangely compatible.” Director Yoon just gives him a sympathetic look.
During breakfast, Ha-jin’s clearly in a dreary mood, but only Joon-ho seems to show a particular sensitivity. Matters only worsen when Yeo-reum picks up a call from Tae-ha at the table and purposely tries to use honorifics to maintain her cover. It’s another typical argumentative conversation between the two, but not anymore from Ha-jin’s perspective.
Ha-jin leads — more like drags — Yeo-reum out on an excursion, which seems like a date, only he’s got the same somber look on his face the whole time. He’s distracted by the memories of all the coincidences between Tae-ha and Yeo-reum, so he’s clearly not enjoying his time on his robotic date. At the concert venue, Yeo-reum stops him so she can go to the bathroom, where she takes off her heels to some painful scrapes on her feet. She thinks to herself about Ha-jin’s weird behavior and knows something’s up.
When she returns, Ha-jin tells her that he’s not in the mood for the concert today, so they head home. He seems to have noticed her feet, as he prepares a bucket of water, but he leaves her to take care of it on her own. Ha-jin calls her over and begins to put ointment on her feet, admitting that he knew about her scrapes. He asks why she didn’t complain as usual, while she says that she expected it was some sort of punishment, so she let herself be punished.
He replies with some pointed words, asking why a selfish person like herself would let that be. “If it were any other day, you would have made the situation more advantageous for yourself. You’re the type of person who can make tears fall in front of me.” He’s angry, but his actions say otherwise, as he continues to tend to her foot.
Those hurtful words noticeably affect Yeo-reum, and she asks what the problem is. He’s surprisingly straightforward and tells her about the box. “I saw some of its contents and resisted my urge to see more. I was going to let it slide, but I can’t do that. You two are too close. If you’re done with him, you should have gotten rid of the box!”
Shocked speechless, all Yeo-reum can get out is a mere apology. “I’m sorry.” That triggers all the memories of Yeo-reum apologizing to Ha-jin, and he tells her that she’s been apologizing quite a lot ever since she’s reunited with Tae-ha. She explains that she doesn’t even know the contents of the box and just lost the timing to burn it. Then she apologizes again.
She profusely apologizes and says that he can keep some distance from her if he wants, but Ha-jin tells her to stop. He tells her that she should say that they’ll stick together even through fights, and she repeats those exact words on request. She adds on that she’ll drop any further work with Tae-ha after this project.
Yeo-reum brings in her furniture designs for Tae-ha the next morning, and he quickly flips through them in disapproval. He tells her these are copies and that he’s seen these designs before — she whipped them up years ago at work. He reminds her that their contract allows her to be more innovative and expensive with materials. Aware of what she’s capable of, he pushes for furniture that clearly has her character in it. Even when she comes to him to get her new designs checked, he flatly tells her that she should know if they’re her best designs.
So she works all night, eventually falling asleep on the company couch. Tae-ha silently looks through her designs with approval and crouches by her side. As he tucks her arm into the blanket, he notices her ring, a flashing reminder to keep his distance.
A call from Ha-jin wakes her up in the night, but she instinctively addresses the caller as Tae-ha. That clearly upsets Ha-jin, but he politely clarifies that it’s him and tells her to get some rest. A long silence ensues, and they struggle to end their conversation. Ha-jin (voiceover): “I couldn’t get myself to say ‘I love you.’ Is this just one of many days we have together? If we get through it, will it pass?” Yeo-reum (voiceover): “If dating was a storyline, where would we be?”
Ha-jin eventually musters enough strength to tell her “I love you,” and she echoes him. But as soon as they hang up, he admits that for the first time, he told Yeo-reum that he loves her without actually meaning it. He wonders if this is the case for other couples, if they get through tough times by saying but not actually meaning those words. He wonders if Yeo-reum is having his same thoughts and wallows in his distress.
The next morning, Tae-ha and Yeo-reum grab a PPL breakfast at Subway. He customizes her order because he knows she doesn’t like olives, and they discuss the progress of the project. Yeo-reum says she’s been working so long that she’s lost track of what day it is, and when she checks her phone she realizes it’s Tae-ha’s birthday. She doesn’t mention it, but she admits to us that she’s remembered this day every year.
Ha-jin performs surgery on Ah-rim’s arm and checks on her afterwards. He notices her downcast mood, and she explains that she didn’t realize that this was such a quick procedure. She wonders why she waited twenty years to get rid of her scar. Changing the subject, he gets updates on her study abroad plans. He’s about to grab her hand but stops himself and leaves with a friendly smile.
Tae-ha’s employees celebrate his birthday with a cake, and Yeo-reum joins in the celebration, only to realize it’s for a different employee. She catches Director Yoon before he leaves and asks if they don’t know Tae-ha’s birthday, and he says that Tae-ha’s not one to make a fuss about his birthday so he only knows it’s sometime in winter. Huh…
Ha-jin advises Ah-rim on her study abroad choices and generously gives her an extra account for any expenses. She cautiously asks if she can keep in touch with him through mail, and he responds positively. A migraine suddenly hits, and Ha-jin grabs for his pills. Noticing this, Ah-rim offers to send him an audio recording from her home that calms her when she’s troubled.
Later that night, he gets a text from Yeo-reum promising to be back that night. That text is followed by one from Ah-rim with the audio recording. It’s a simple recording of crickets chirping, but that’s enough to relax him into a sound sleep.
Tae-ha and Yeo-reum wrap up their design work, and he hands her an extra set of documents to look through. He wants her to pursue some other work than what she’s doing now — art furniture. “Ever since your father died, you’ve come to a stop. Your dream just remains a dream.” Yeo-reum asks why he’s doing this, and he gives an honest answer. “I regret not being better to you, understanding you more, and loving you more when I dated you. I’m sorry. I don’t have much else to do for you.”
Then he jumps back into work discussion, and after a moment, Yeo-reum does as well. She checks her watch and notices that its ten minutes before midnight. Giving him some pictures from the site to look through, she excuses herself to prepare something. As Tae-ha looks through the camera, he discovers pictures of himself, in fact, multiple pictures that Yeo-reum took of him while he wasn’t looking. Just as he’s trying to figure out what to feel, the lights turn off, and Yeo-reum walks in with an impromptu snack cake with a candle.
Back down memory lane, we see Yeo-reum and Tae-ha happily celebrating his birthday. As a gift, she gives him personalized coupons: sleeping in, being late, no nagging, kisses, a sizzling night (rawr). Yeo-reum then interviews him with her faux hand mic and asks what his wishes are. They’re sweetly all about her. Seeing her more, earning more money to build her a studio, and hoping she wins her furniture competition.
In the present, Tae-ha blows out his candle, and Yeo-reum interviews him the same way, asking what his wishes are. After some thought, he tells her. “I want to become Han Yeo-reum. So that I could know why you waited for me, why you cried, and… why there are pictures of me in your camera. Because I know you’ll never tell me, I want to become Han Yeo-reum and figure out what her heart is saying.”
Her secret almost exposed, Yeo-reum falters and asks what he’ll do when he finds that out. As he takes a step closer, he tells her, “If my intuition is right, then I’ll take your hand and go with you until the end. I still like you. I still want you, and I don’t want to send you to anyone else. Stay with me. You just need to take one step closer.”
Clearly torn but wavering, Yeo-reum avoids eye contact as tears stream down her face. She comes to her senses and grabs her bag to leave. “I can’t go to you. At the very least, because of my father, I can’t. If I do that to you… Don’t ever shake me like this again.” She takes her leave, and Tae-ha lets her.
But as she walks away, she thinks to herself about how she wishes she could take Tae-ha’s hand and follow him. “I’m afraid these feelings won’t change anymore.” With this realization, Yeo-reum’s legs give out and she crouches down in tears. She looks distraught, and from outside, Ha-jin witnesses her bawling.
He walks in and demands to know why she’s acting like this. Tae-ha enters the scene to return the camera but hides it as soon as he sees Ha-jin, who hands Yeo-reum the car key to drive herself home. These two are going to have a talk tonight.
Back at it with the soju, Ha-jin tells Tae-ha that Yeo-reum won’t be working with him on any future projects. Tae-ha argues that it’s not his decision to make, but Ha-jin puts his foot down and takes his leave. Naturally, Tae-ha spits out some stinging words, “You must not have confidence in Yeo-reum. You’ve got nothing on her.” That stops him in his tracks, and he grabs Tae-ha up by his collar.
Despite Ha-jin’s threatening tone, Tae-ha continues, “You love Yeo-reum, but she loves herself. All you need is her by your side, but she’s not one to be satisfied or happy with someone by her side. You don’t know what dreams she has and what she’s given up. That’s why you won’t do.” That’s enough to provoke Ha-jin to throw a punch and instigate a fight.
As Yeo-reum arrives home, she’s met with Joon-ho, who’s just gotten off the phone. He scolds her for letting this situation happen, and we see that the two guys are at the police station. The bar owner complains that these two are always fighting when they’re at her place and asks if there really is only one girl in this world. Ha.
The investigator asks the two about what happened, but the bar owner steps in to knock some sense into the guys with some irony: “This doctor hit and hurt people, and this construction company president crushed my store. Get yourselves together. What’s so great about love? There are people struggling to make a living.” Well, there’s some perspective for ya.
As Tae-ha leaves the station with Director Yoon, he passes by Yeo-reum. They hold eye contact even as he goes down the stairs and until she’s faced with Ha-jin. They don’t exchange any words, and Joon-ho breaks the silence by noting that he’s been to the police station too often recently.
When they arrive back home, Joon-ho leaves the two to talk, but looks back at them in worry. Ha-jin demands to know why Yeo-reum was crying. This is the second time he’s seen her like this with Tae-ha, and he’s not letting this slide. In her mind, Yeo-reum wonders about naturally growing apart. “Does such an ending exist in this world? If it does, then I’d like to have that sort of parting.”
With that thought, she takes off her ring, leaves it on top of the dashboard, and exits the car. Shocked, Ha-jin grabs the ring and follows her out. He puts the ring back into her hands and asks her not to do this, almost begging her. She looks at him and confronts the issue: “Let’s stop doing this. Let’s stop fighting. It’s obvious that we’re eventually going to separate.”
Ha-jin argues back that she doesn’t know if they’ll end, but she begs to differ. She’s convinced that they’ve reached rock bottom, and the end is near. He says that he can go even lower, but she doesn’t want to: “How much lower do we have to go? How much more do you want to get hurt by me? Do you think I’ll feel good about that? How much more do you want to hate me? Why do you want to continue on an obvious path to the end?”
In disbelief, Ha-jin mockingly asks how she knows about romance so well and where she learned this. And finally, Yeo-reum tells him, “Kang Tae-ha.”
Though he already knew, that catches him off guard, and Yeo-reum continues, “We’ve reached rock bottom. We can’t go any lower.” She returns the ring, which slips through his hands and falls to the ground. Ha-jin looks pained as he hits the realization that they’ve reached the end.
As Yeo-reum walks back into the house, Joon-ho waits by the door, having heard the whole break-up. He calls out to her, “Han Yeo-reum, you’re a bitch.” Oof.
Tae-ha chugs beers sitting up against his refrigerator in the dark, and Ha-jin broods in front of Yeo-reum’s house, staring at the ring in tears. The pain isn’t exclusive to the guys, as we see Yeo-reum also crying alone.
In her interview, Yeo-reum reveals her feelings, “Joon-ho’s right. I am a bitch. But who other than Kang Tae-ha and Nam Ha-jin can call me that?”
COMMENTS
Snaps to that. She’s right. Who other than her two lovers can call her that? She implicitly acknowledges the wrongs she’s committed to both men in her life and knows that these are the only two who have some — if any — rights to call her that. It’s a profound message she’s sending and one that even I need to reflect upon. I recall calling Yeo-reum a bitch in a previous recap, and I feel bad and want to apologize for using that word so lightly. Though her actions were manipulative and calculating, it’s true that, as observers, there’s some disconnect we have regarding the weight of that word. And Yeo-reum makes it very clear that it’s heavy, hurtful, and definitely something that should be used sparingly.
All in all, a great episode for our exes but not so much for Ha-jin. But I feel that he was somewhat consistent with his character, in that he’s always lacked a certain complexity that Yeo-reum has when dating. As a person, he’s a very interesting character, and though his relationship with Ah-rim is a bit frustrating and dull, it’s still sweet and genuine. With his relationship with Yeo-reum, however, he’s quite flat and simple. I wanted something more out of Ha-jin after he found out the contents of the box, but he just ended up disappointing me. He’s a far better person than that person who punished Yeo-reum by intentionally putting her in pain. He admitted to being the asshole who put her through that, but he could have dealt with this situation much better. There was something very superficial about how he confronted Yeo-reum and resolved the issue about the box. It was not genuine at all, and something that could have been a point of growth for the relationship just felt uncomfortable.
And this superficiality could be the reason for why their relationship fell through. They learned to distrust each other and to never give each other the benefit of the doubt. All the remedies for their relationship problems were temporary. It was only a matter of time until one of them called it quits, and that person was not going to be Ha-jin. It was upsetting to see him trying to get through the final argument — his expression changing in a flash from anger to shock to desperation — because we know and he knows that he’s on the losing end of this relationship. He’s got much more to lose because of how much more invested he was. Though I’m disappointed that their relationship fell through without enough opportunities for Ha-jin to have a say, it was necessary.
Seeing the interactions between Tae-ha and Yeo-reum in this episode confirmed my support for them. It’s the small things I notice that stick out to me, like Tae-ha knowing Yeo-reum’s exact sandwich order or Yeo-reum wanting to prepare a snack cake for Tae-ha’s birthday. They still remember the small details about each other, which is a definite sign that they care. And while Yeo-reum continues to deny that she actually does, I’ve got to give it to Tae-ha for being so patient and particularly concerned with Yeo-reum’s personal dreams. Of course he wants her to come to him, but he ultimately just wants her to be happy and fulfill her utmost potential. I loved the moment when he realized Yeo-reum’s feelings because he finally saw the possibility of his love being reciprocated. Even after letting himself be vulnerable by professing his love and taking his step forward, he respected her boundaries and cautiously asked her to do the same. So swoon-worthy.
So the question is, what now? It’s Yeo-reum’s turn to take her step forward. She’s been caught in the act of opening her heart to him, and it’s time that she embrace it. Going into finale week, I’m hopeful that she will.
RELATED POSTS
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 13
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 12
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- Discovery of Romance: Episode 10
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 9
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 8
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 7
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 6
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Tags: Discovery of Romance, Eric, featured, Jung Yumi, Sung Joon
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1 Cikrib
October 3, 2014 at 4:10 AM
Finallyyy...
I'm with YR and TH team
PS: I hope Sol ended up with Yoon, but I guess not. Well...
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jaengnas
October 3, 2014 at 4:58 AM
I can not dislike any of the charecters in this drama.I love them all,well my favorite is Yoon also..............without any reason ;)
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bd5
October 3, 2014 at 1:06 PM
That's the thing - some people are going on about how they HATE YR or TH (or some other character) and they just need to relax and realize that there are no "evil" characters that so many K-dramas have (the crappy 1-dimensional evil characters that are often caricatures).
Here. the characters all have their flaws but no one is a bad/evil person and unlike in so many K-dramas, there is a rationale for their feelings/choices.
Also need to keep in mind that w/o these flaws and not ideal actions (not revealing past relationship, etc.) - there would be no show (or at least a show that would be of any interest or have any real emotional effect).
Regarding the whole "b!tch" comment - while I can certainly see why JH would call YR that when he sees her breaking off her engagement to HJ, he does it b/c he's HJ's (best?) friend and also sees it from a guy's viewpoint.
YR is right - only her lovers can really call her that and even then, I wouldn't say that there is a clear case for it.
Don't see TH having a real reason to refer to YR as a b!tch. Yeah, she tried to get back at him towards the start by throwing her relationship w/ HJ in his face, but he kinda deserved that and that was shortlived (both getting past that).
Yeah, YR has made it hard on TH recently by not reciprocating his feelings, but what was she supposed to do?
Even w/ HJ, there is no outright case to call YR that.
Yes, she did not disclose her previous relationship w/ TH. (but neither did HJ w/ AR and HJ still hadn't disclosed who he is to AR), but as it turned out, the fact that the YR and TH had a previous relationship was not nearly as impt. as other things (which is why HJ got past that after brooding about it and "punishing" YR).
YR loves HJ (altho it was more of a comfortable love and not the real, deep passionate love that YR shared w/ TH) and from the start had no feelings towards TH aside from her "hatred" (which really was a sign of something else) and had no intention of there being anything btwn her and TH.
But of course, as they spent more time together and learned about what happened in the past and mistakes that were made (w/ TH really changing) - the deep bond btwn YR and TH was rekindled.
Only when YR realized that she was more in love w/ TH did she do what many would consider a b!tch move and break off the engagement, but that really was the right move (better to break it off than be married when the heart belongs elsewhere).
YR loves both men, but like in INR2012 - the new(er) guy just could not compete w/ the depth and breath of bond that Jung Yumi's character had w/ her long-time ex (no matter how great Kim ji-seok's character was in INR2012 - what I consider the most appealing 2nd male lead in a K-drama).
And as I stated above, there are no bad/evil characters - which is usually a sign of good writing and not the lazy, 1-dimensional writing we see all too often in K-dramas.
YR's mom can be cold and a bit...
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samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 1:34 PM
... a bit what?
I'm at the edge of my seat here...
aaaaaaaaarghhh..
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2 Ilovemonday
October 3, 2014 at 4:12 AM
What I've seen in this episode is everyone now suffering because of the human species named Nam Ha Jin (Kang Tae Ha, Han Yeo Reum, Ahn Ah Rim, Do Joon Ho and Yoon Sol). Does he realize it? I don't think so. Because for him the most important thing is making sure Yeo Reum not gonna leave her for the reason as he told Kang Tae Ha "I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT YEO REUM REUM."
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sia
October 3, 2014 at 11:11 AM
"What I’ve seen in this episode is everyone now suffering because of the human species named Nam Ha Jin"
REALLY? HOW?
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Ilovemonday
October 3, 2014 at 5:46 PM
YR loves TH. TH loves YR. Because YR is in relationship with HJ and she afraid to hurt HJ's feeling, she tried hard to reject TH existence even though failed.
TH loves YR. But because YR said to him she tried to keep their unhealthy relationship, TH got rejected even though YR actually still in love with him and HJ even know their love isn't equal but his selfishess to make sure they won't break up, tight her with engagement.
Yoon Sol and Do Joon Ho is YR-HJ's best friend. But because of their relationship, they need to keep their space to TH and hating on him because of what he did in the past. Everytime there is a problem in their relationship, they always drag Sol-Joon Ho in it. Sol and Joon Ho becoming so scare and panic of Ha Jin when they realized YR wasn't in home and everywhere and suspicious with TH.
HJ tried to find his lost sister all this years. And after he found her, to make sure AR won't make future problem in YR/HJ relationship, he send her abroad an excuse for study. It stated in this episode, actually AR doesn't wanna go. She said she will do it for making HJ at ease…
And after all, he doesn't know anything what he did…He just wanna make sure YR won't ever leave him because he loves her and can't leave without her...what a pathetic...
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3 R
October 3, 2014 at 4:19 AM
Thanks. I enjoy this drama. The characters are very interesting! Sung Joon's acting really shines in this episode.
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Moozy
October 3, 2014 at 12:56 PM
I second you on Sung Joon's acting. I thing he is getting better & better in each drama that he's in.
Personally love his smile with the curling mouth edges. Sighhh...
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Spi
October 4, 2014 at 11:43 AM
I dreamed of Ha Jin's sad face the whole night... Sung Joon's acting is great.
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4 harmonyfb
October 3, 2014 at 4:42 AM
“I’ve been thinking about all the possibilities of why she has that box, but no matter how I think about it, I can’t understand.”
And this is part of the problem. Ha Jin has pushed away his past, compartmentalized it - so he doesn't understand why anybody would hold on to the physical reminders of past relationships.
This episode, I thought, encapsulated some of the things I dislike about the characters - Yeo Reum uses the worst excuse possible for her breakup, Ha Hin gets controlling (I'm sorry, did you just say that your girlfriend has to quit her job because of your jealousy issues?), and Tae Ha smirks and gets repeatedly smart-mouthed when he really should have just zipped it.
The poor restaurant owner - she should have barred them the first go-round.
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tee
October 3, 2014 at 6:03 AM
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone else is just jumping on "this ship, and that ship" while i feel all main characters are so URGH and should all have therapy before being with anyone else
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Mrs. Jang guem suk
October 3, 2014 at 6:52 AM
They need Love Shuffle
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harmonyfb
October 3, 2014 at 8:01 AM
Exactly. I think Yeo Reum should just buy a vibrator and swear off men for a while, Ha Jin needs some serious anger management counseling, and Tae Ha needs to take a course in How to Keep Your Smart Mouth Shut Before Somebody Shuts It For You.
And Sol & Joon Ho need to move into their own place and live a quiet life of BFFs 4-eva.
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 10:04 AM
Tae Ha needs to take a course in How to Keep Your Smart Mouth Shut Before Somebody Shuts It For You.
Ha! So very true!
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Ilovemonday
October 3, 2014 at 5:51 PM
HJ doesn't need to be so overreact if what TH said was fault. He can just forget about it. But, because he realizes what TH told is right, that's why he becomes angry. TH never said something strange, he just overreact. IMO, instead of asking TH to shut his mouth, better for HJ to maintain his emotional problem. It's danger for him if he argue with someone and always end up with fighting..
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Mian
October 3, 2014 at 7:05 PM
Haha…so true. Like this!!
Phi
October 3, 2014 at 7:44 PM
"Tae Ha needs to take a course in How to Keep Your Smart Mouth Shut Before Somebody Shuts It For You" - As infuriating as it is, some truths need to be heard (and I quote that from Mwave lol)
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Spi
October 4, 2014 at 11:43 AM
Yea at this point I think you are so right!
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5 alua
October 3, 2014 at 5:04 AM
I'm tired of all three of them, although, somehow I sympathise with Hajin the most. I think it's because I feel that some of the moments where he's acting out feel more like the writers are trying to add some bad things to his character just so that the other two don't look as bad. I think he should have just broken up with Yeoreum right after he found the box and discovered that she was lying to him, together with two other friends (I'd drop those friends too). They both lied to each other, but HJ's lying stems from a much larger stigma in society, and YR's from her own hang-up. It doesn't make either right, but HJ at least at some point shared the truth. YR only did when it could no longer be denied.
I think none of them are right for each other.
I have no shred of sympathy at all of Yeoreum. I cannot relate to her. I have no idea how she thinks or what she wants. She plays around. Holds others to higher standards than herself. Sorry, don't like her. If I ever have a friend that asks "If I cheat, will you create an alibi for me?" I'm going to walk out on them.
Taeha, well, I can feel for his pain to some extent but didn't he say he was letting her go a couple of episodes ago? And still, he his birthday wish was "I want to become Han Yeo-reum. So that I could know why you waited for me..."
Hajin, I'd recommend he just forget Yeoreum and instead focus on improving where he went wrong – i.e. telling her that she must stop working. Yeoreum and Taeha, well, obviously this drama is making them "fated" for each other, but I'm not convinced at all.
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sia
October 3, 2014 at 6:06 AM
I like your comments.
People want TH+YR because oh its Eric and QSS factor, but she IS a horrible person and someone i would not befriend in real life. Simple
I have more sympathy for 2 male leads though not a lot also....
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houstontwin
October 3, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Yes! Yeoreum is just awful! I would never want her as a friend. She is a neurotic narcissist!
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Jenny
October 3, 2014 at 2:06 PM
I never comment because I'm a bit lazy XD
But then I'm a bit tired of seeing this comment .. unfortunately it falls on you * sorry *
You know people can love a character simply because he is better for them, not for the actor, and frankly, I'm tired of seeing "Because it's Eric" ..
Are you into the heads of people to say that?
It's not as if people who prefer Taeha will tell people preferring NJ it's because of Sung Joon ..
sorry for my bad english.
^^"
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Ilovemonday
October 3, 2014 at 5:53 PM
And I'm sure some comments who always write their defense for HJ also Sung Joon's bias.. No need to hide it...
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 7:10 PM
Can't agree more. No doubt there's certain bias but throwing "because it's Eric" every single time to discredit TH and make HJ better is a little insulting to the viewers.
Not everyone like TH or ship YR-TH are "because it's Eric or QSS"
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 7:04 AM
I think in real life... HJ wouldn't end up with AR (like some are now hoping) because a one-side love doesn't come to fruition just because the other person is now available – he has, after all, just come out of a relationship to someone he was engaged to... and found out that two his friends aren't really friends at all.
Maybe Taeha and Yeoreum would get back together, but I don't think they would last. It's not like if they can just pick up their relationship where they were, say, six years ago, when things were all good. Lots happened in between. Taeha feeling "regretting the past" doesn't make a good basis for a relationship, nor does his stalking or forever holding on whenever he said he's moving on from her seem promising. And Yeoreum completely shut down after (and partially because) of that relationship, as well as her father's death. None of that will be magically erased if she's back with Taeha – there'd be things to fix with him, but more so perhaps issues she has to resolve just for herself.
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melica
October 3, 2014 at 2:47 PM
In real life HJ would rebound and start going out with AR. He would go out with AR because she was available to forget about YR. And it wouldn't work out and would make everyone miserable. That is real life.
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 4:21 PM
They grew up as brother and sister for some time, even if they aren't blood siblings. It's more unusual than not for romantic feelings to develop from that kind of scenario, although not impossible. Both of them developing romantic feelings... more unlikely. I'm going with Hajin saying he has no feelings for her.
If there were a relationship, yeah, it would fall apart very quickly.
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Mian
October 3, 2014 at 8:08 AM
Sometimes I wonder whether we are watching the same show or not. Because it seems you lost so many hint points. Tae Ha-Yeo Reum still in love each other all these years. In episode 1, she pretend to drunk for an excuse to touch TH's cheek (it was revealed in ep.13), so means in ep.1 she didn't totally drunk. She aware TH wiped her wet hair in his shower room and she knows exactly how she ended up on TH's bed. In ep. 13, she said, after they broke up, she always hope to see the real TH whenever she saw someone similar to him. She didn't react when TH kissed her suddenly in her studio because she still felt it. In this episode, she said she aware TH's birthday whenever see the calendar and hoping spend time together.
Yes, TH-YR still love each other. But, since YR in relationship, they know their limit. They didn't do anything immoral. So, don't understand if some people keep bashing this poor couple… In my opinion, YR and Tae Ha sacrifice their feeling for the sake of Nam Ha Jin.
Don't blame her if HJ falls of her too deeply. HJ knows from the beginning their love isn't equal, yet he proposed her to marry him. So, which one is more selfish, Yeo Reum or Ha Jin. Just because his jealously, she asked her to quit her job and to give up her dreams????
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sia
October 3, 2014 at 8:18 AM
"Yes, TH-YR still love each other. But, since YR in relationship, they know their limit. They didn’t do anything immoral"
I disagree. she was emotionally cheating which is as bad if not worse than physical cheating
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Mian
October 3, 2014 at 8:30 AM
Can you tell me now how can you control your feeling? Honestly, myself don't understand. Love is no reason. It comes suddenly. Take example, we always say our ideal type is like this or like that. But most of us keep falling with someone far away from our favorite criterias.
In this case, HJ isn't helping him to forget about TH. He couldn't convince her to open up about her true self because HJ also keep something for himself too.
So, I appreciate TH-YR didn't do something strange. Give applaud to YR since she's the one who kept rejecting TH from the beginning and still trying to keep her will for their relationship.
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sia
October 3, 2014 at 11:15 AM
I beg to disagree, love doesn't come for no reason. Love does take space to nurture.
If you are liking someone and you want to stop, cutting off communication with the person and an active attempt to distance yourself can work wonders.
If you know you like someone and you keep being in the person,s company etc, of course the Love will continue to flourish.
Love has no control is a bunch of Bull and used by people who don't want to take responsibility for their actions
AJ
October 3, 2014 at 2:59 PM
No one can control their feelings ... but they can have the kindness and decency to control their behavior until they figure out the best way to minimize the pain to others their uncontrollable feelings will inevitably cause. That's not at all what YR has been doing here -- she takes her own emotional temperature, protects her heart and ego, and damn the consequences. Of course, she not really significantly worse than either of the two guys she's involved with so I think it's better they should all stick together as an endless drama threesome (some people thrive on that kind of thing) and spare everyone else the angst.
Mian
October 3, 2014 at 6:01 PM
Some people has experience love at the first sight and some people need time for loving someone. Same as love can disappear suddenly if there is no communication or love still could exist even though someone is far away from us but heart doesn't belongs to us. IN TH/YR case, their love still exist in all these years, and they keep thinking about each other. This might be the reason why YR kept being single before met HJ. Anyway she's trying to control her behavior though. She kept rejecting TH from the beginning, keep space with him and TH also do the same. And she also said she will quit after this project. But HJ told TH to not work with him again just because his overload jealously…huh..!!
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 8:23 AM
We are watching the same show, but we just have different beliefs. If they are 5 years apart (with things left unresolved), in a "love" relationship with another person, anything they feel between them is a mess of feelings which I would be very hesitant to call love.
I also don't agree that they knew their limit. TH was stalking her and said things to her he should have kept to himself. They had a "professional" relationship, but it went beyond professional. If you keep hanging with a person despite knowing that it messes with your feelings and despite being in a relationship with someone else, then I think you don't know your limits.
YR and HJ's relationship was doomed without TH. His presence sped up the whole process, which however doesn't mean at all that YR and TH are right for each other. And obviously HJ demanding her to give up her job is totally unacceptable. For me, YR is the most selfish, but I think this comes down to what kind of behaviours we find most annoying. As I said, I can't sympathise with her at all, but I can sympathise a little both with HJ or TH though I would not want to be in a relationship with either guy!
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 8:26 AM
Just because Yeo Reum is still in love with Tae Ha, that doesn't mean that they are right for each other, though. Although in the world of kdrama, I guess it probably does.
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Mian
October 3, 2014 at 8:37 AM
I'm not saying TH-YR should end up together though. I said TH-YR still love each other and not just unresolved feeling. She admit it or not, she's waiting for him all these years by hoping seeing him again.
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 8:44 AM
Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought what you were saying about the hints was a counterpoint to alua's statement that none of them are right for each other.
Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 8:18 AM
I think none of them are right for each other.
I can agree with you on this. I am not really rooting for YT/TH or YR/HJ because I'm not convinced that either relationship would have a bright future, that she belongs with either of them. I don't think I dislike any of the characters as much as you do (although the last couple of episodes have caused me to feel some distaste for Ha Jin), but I still think that the three of them need to shake each other off and move on with their separate lives.
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 7:31 PM
Even if Yeoreum moves on to another person, do we know for sure she would a brighter future or she might end up regretting not follow her heart?
That said, I think Yeoreum needs some time to sort things out before she makes any decision.
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 10:14 PM
She won't have a brighter future with anyone, unless she addresses certain issues.
She is willing to accept a person with their weaknesses (HJ's orphan background), but she isn't willing to fully place her trust in others and open up about herself and about things that need to be shared if you want a relationship that's honest and healthy.
At a certain point, regret is a matter of choice. You can wallow in your own misery for the rest of your life, regretting this or that, or you can decide to live your life.
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Phi
October 4, 2014 at 1:38 AM
I know you're Hajin/Sung Joon bias but trusting isn't the issue to blame squarely on Yeoreum for the break up with Hajin, or it is the same reason why Taeha & Yeoreum broke up.
If it is about her father death you refer to, it's nice if she could share it to some one so she can cope with it better, but it's OK not to tell any one if she's not comfortable or ready to.
If it's about not telling Taeha is her ex BF, yes she should had. Thou, she was telling Hajin she was drunk when she went to switch the phone back with the guy and ended up spend the over at his home but nothing happened. Hajin got uneasy and said when she's drunk, she smiles & acts cute with any one (suggesting she's easy, just like how HJ-YR first met). I believe from then on she decided to keep it off than stirring things up with Hajin. Didn't help that her roomies friends also told Yeoreum don't tell. I feel her reason for not telling Hajin is same reason why Hajin didn't tell Yeoreum about his 3 blind dates that he promised mom. They didn't want the other party wary of "small" things. Little that they know it became big thing.
That said, I don't know if Hajin knew Taeha is Yeoreum's ex-BF early on would give YR-HJ relationship better chance to survive or makes it falls even faster.
alua
October 4, 2014 at 12:16 PM
I'm not shipping anyone here (and I don't really know these actors from other projects so I don't care about them either).
I don't blame YR for the breakup, she was right to break up (she should have done it much sooner). They had nowhere to go. Their relationship can't work out, because YR has never wanted to open up about herself, and because HJ had serious trust issues (not surprising with his orphan background, and now with the extensive lying from his girlfriend and two supposed friends, he's going to have a hard time trusting anyone for a long time. Shattered trust is very, very corrosive thing.).
The two of them were doomed without TH (as I wrote elsewhere on this thread), TH just sped things up.
I'll say I dislike YR the most because I just can't relate to her at all, but HJ and TH all have done awful things and have issues to resolve, some related to themselves regardless of their relationship with YR, and some related to her.
alua
October 4, 2014 at 12:33 PM
Double-checked. Have seen Shut Up FBB with Sung Joon but didn't pay attention to any of the actors in there (although the one that had the cameo was great, though I didn't know him before SUFBB either). His Pluto is sitting on my shelf, though I didn't realise SJ was in it (I watch lots of indie films, and Korean-bullying-films are one genre I'm specifically interested in). Haven't seen anything with Eric previously, the stuff in his filmography isn't what I normally go for. Seems I've seen Jung Ju-mi in Family Ties (which I loved), and there are several of things of hers I have been meaning to see (her filmography is the most interesting between the three), though I didn't know she was in them. Watching Satellite Girl (she's voicing a character) in a couple of weeks.
6 KDaddict
October 3, 2014 at 5:18 AM
I've been waiting for this to happen: YR making up her mind--to choose either one guy or the other! I almost lost patience and interest waiting! Finally!
When you accept a guy's proposal, but are miserable cos your heart is with another, then the engagement is wrong. It is esp. unfair to the guy whose proposal you accepted.
So her attraction towards Tae Ha is stronger. We could see that coming, whether we like it or not. I sort of do. Cos in 14 eps, I don't see that she loves HJ. I see her saying that she wants him, being possessive of him vis-a-vis AR, lying to him repeatedly, but I don't her doing things that makes it believable that she loves him. Her decision to breakup w HJ isn't surprising, which is good.
Now I'm curious to see what HJ will do. I've been for AR to get her man from the start. To my disappointment, HJ has been saying that she is only a dongsang. Boo. 2 more eps. Will things change between them? I hope AR doesn't have to go away, all alone and sad.
This drama feels frivolous to me cos it seems to be all about YR finding her feelings and her way back to TH. "The problems of 3 little people don't amount to a hill of beans" keeps coming to mind when I watch. The plot is on the thin side in my eyes as I don't see it as a psychological study of a woman in love.
Eric sure is fantastic, and hot, tho.
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Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 5:45 AM
Oh yeah…Eric is burning HOT. I keep fanning myself while watching whenever he appears on my screen…XD
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KDaddict
October 3, 2014 at 8:14 PM
I obviously don't feel as deeply about these chars as many other viewers here. The way I see it:
1. This show is a bit of a departure of the normal KDs and KD chars that we are used to. It's not a "slice-of-life", a melo, nor a rom-com. IMO, it doesn't amount to a psychological study either.
2. The chars are all flawed but not divided into good and evil, and may be too real for the taste of some who watch KD for escapism. They are 3 people working out their romantic relationships, and we as voyeurs can judge them as being deficient in certain capacities, if we want/expect drama chars to be less messy than real ones, which viewers have every right to do, or take them as is, or somewhere in between.
3. People who watch it as they do any other KD would want to root for an OTP, but this show doesn't give an obvious one to root for. YR in particular is no regular KD heroine and that can be frustrating or refreshing depending on your preference.
I've no idea how well liked it's been in SK. Going by the ratings tho (of 5-7 or 8% and rankings of 13-20th among shows in its time slot), it doesn't seem to be all that popular, not that popular equals quality to say the least. Personally, I find this viewing experience underwhelming overall, but I do applaud them in striving for sth out of the ordinary. Heaven knows, we've had enough Candies and chaebol princes.
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7 KDaddict
October 3, 2014 at 5:35 AM
About those headaches/migraines that HJ's been having, and the pills he takes:
Please don't go the melo route and make it into something, anything more than stress. I'd be really disgusted if they do.
My heart goes out to AR. She only has one person whom she feels really close to in this world,other than mother-superior at the orphanage, and she has been waiting for him for how many years? Then she has to find out that tho he has found her, he doesn't want her to know. I'd feel terribly hurt if I were her. On top of that, he is sending her away, to study, to assuage his guilt. Poor girl. HJ is a nice guy and all, to others that is, to YR esp. , but I find him lacking as a human being somehow. Telling her who he is would be the decent thing to do. Why only get permission from mom to tell YR, but not AR? In this case, I think AR has much more of a right to know.
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8 Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 5:44 AM
When Ha Jin punched Tae Ha's face…I was like…."Nooo….please don't do that to his face again.... !!!! Tae Ha's face is the mainly reason why I keep watching this show…" LOL...
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KDaddict
October 3, 2014 at 5:55 AM
LOL. He has a bad-boy vibe to him, doesn't he? And yet sooo manly. The more you stare at him, the more you understand why YR can't stay away! Ha ha ha.
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Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 6:01 AM
How YR still survive in these all episodes….Or maybe she's already half melted because of his hotness..
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omona
October 3, 2014 at 6:36 AM
perhaps that's why Jung Yu Mi recommended Eric for KTH role, because Eric IRL is manly...and dorky...
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Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 8:17 AM
What do you mean recommended him??? I don't understand
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omona
October 3, 2014 at 8:40 AM
I read somewhere that soon as she read the script, Jung Yu Mi recomended Eric for the role. she thinks Eric is naturally manly and cool, just like KTH, hence the recomendation.
crashbabe
October 3, 2014 at 8:12 AM
Ha ha ha... I love this thread the most...I know...call me shallow. But I am still hung up on his bedroom eyes in the previous ep.
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Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 8:16 AM
No bed room eyes, no half nekkid scene, no dorky Tae ha again. This show becoming melodrama.. I need to see a hot making out in the last scene provided by TH-YR to forgive this drama for making me frustrated all the time…LOL
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9 corgi
October 3, 2014 at 5:48 AM
I really love all the OSTs in this drama. Fits every scene perfectly.
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totokoko
October 3, 2014 at 6:18 AM
agree!!!
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 4:45 PM
Yes, and the lyrics are beautiful and so fitting for the characters.
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10 samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 6:33 AM
Thanks for the recap and your thoughtful comments!
Not nearly enough praise and grateful appreciation goes to our faithful recappers who didnt abandon their love and their happy respinsibilities. Thank you for giving our thoughts a home and sharing your love with us!
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 7:48 PM
I imagine their inbox going CRAZY after the recap. oops, one more for dramallama!
Keep up the good work dramallama and LollyPip for DoR and in future recaps!
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11 samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 6:52 AM
On another topic, I've heard rumblings from commenters over the past few episode recaps about people needing therapy, etc.
The question is, why?
Why does love have to be so clean, neat and tidy? Why does love have to fit into a turquoise box with a ribbon, or a wooden box with hinges? Why does love have to be explained at all?
What gives people the right to judge whither the heart goes, or whether one's mind need direct the heart?
HYR is hurting because of things that have happened to her, not because of what she has done. Do people realize this? She was not the one who was the bad boyfriend that KTH was, so many years ago. She was not the one who actively sought to be in a love triangle, nor did she ever try to hurt NHJ (she did try to stick it to KTH, but that was a little bit of payback I guess).
Why does she need therapy? Because she tried to protect NHJ's feelings? Because she followed the advice of her dumbass friends? Because she wasn't sure where anything was going, and so she tried to protect the relationship she was in? I'm still not sure what HYR did that has people up in arms.
Perhaps NHJ does need therapy, but my guess is not. What NHJ needs is humility and honesty. What NHJ needs is to be honest with himself about the kind of person that he is, and to think about others before himself. That's not a therapeutic concern - that's a human concern. How much better would the world be in, if people gave a little more consideration towards others around us.
If anything, I feel sorry for KTH, because right now, HYR is on the knife edge of deciding against both him and NHJ, and KTH might lose his love, not because HYR doesn't love him, but because the maturation of KTH was just a too late. 5 years too late.
What I love about this drama can be found in the title of the drama.
Literally, the drama is called "Discovery of Romance" or "Discovery of Love." But perhaps more accurately, the words can be construed to mean "Revelation of What It Means To Be In Love."
And that's not just true for the characters, especially HYR and KTH (but not for NHJ, because he's a pompous ass and a likely future passive-aggressive wife abuser unless he takes a good, long, hard critical eye to himself), but that's true for the audience.
I think, maybe, that we have also learned a little bit too. If the weekly term papers and dissertations/defenses in the comments section have indicated anything, we are actively working these issues out for ourselves as well.
Love this drama. What a great year for dramas and we still have months to go! Best kdrama year evah?
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 7:23 AM
<What gives people the right to judge whither the heart goes, or whether one’s mind need direct the heart?
It's not about where heart goes, it's what you do as a result of that. If you start lying to people, including yourself, get others to lie for you (not once but over months as a cover-up), and hurting others mindlessly, yeah, I will not think well of you.
Therapy might help since there are underlying issues that they seem to be unable to resolve themselves. There's nothing wrong with therapy you know even if there aren't deep-seated underlying issues.
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samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 7:35 AM
I'm still confused.
So... you do not think well of people who lie? Wow, how many people do you think well of?
Everybody lies, but there are reasons for lying, some better and some worse. There are lies by omission, there are lies by misdirection, outright lies and half-truths. Are they all the same?
And then there is intent. What was the intent behind the action?
HYR lied to protect NHJ's feelings, to protect the relationship from falling apart. Of course, it was all for naught, but HYR didn't know that at the time. And she didn't get her roommates to lie for her, they were doing it first and were the ones who told her not to tell NHJ in the first place.
Therapy is good for everyone, I don't disagree. But therapy is needed when one does not understand one's self. That's not the case with HYR. She knows who she is, and what her circumstances are.
But as for one's heart, of course feelings change over time, especially as people change. Nothing wrong with that.
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 8:03 AM
Of course everyone lies. Of course there are differences in the types of lies there are. We've already had this discussion on a previous thread (well, maybe not with you). The lying here went too far, for me. You may disagree and think it was all well-intended, harmless and unavoidable.
Sorry, I don't agree that Yeoreum knows herself or knows what she wants. Or if she knew, she was stringing one person along (HJ) and leading on another (TH). Or not putting sincere effort into her relationship (she had many chances to come clear) and not keeping enough distance (even if they worked together).
Yeah, love can be messy. I just feel it's excessively and unnecessarily messy here, at least if we get a happy-ever-after ending for our fated OTP and possibly another fated match in the other couple. Which sort of seems to be where we are headed (I'll be happy to be proven wrong though.).
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sia
October 3, 2014 at 8:20 AM
I like the above comment ^^
samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 8:23 AM
I think we are getting to the heart of it here.
I think for many people, perhaps not you per se, but many people, believe that the biggest fault of the whole drama lies with HYR, and that fault comes because of one thing -
-- While HYR was dating NHJ, she should have stayed away from KTH --
And, everything that has gone wrong in the relationship between HYR and NHJ can be traced to this - since, obviously, things were going well before KTH showed up at the hotel in Episode 1. Res ipsa loquitur.
***
But I think the point of the drama is that HYR heart never pushed KTH out completely.
Whether it was right to date another person while holding a piece of one's heart for KTH, well, there's no easy answer for that.
See, I think you are confusing two things here.
You can certainly know yourself and know what you want, but as to another person and love, you cannot know how you feel because how you feel will depend largely upon the other person.
Everybody grows, everybody changes. And so, even if KTH and HYR end up together, they might later drift apart like they did 5 years earlier. It could happen, and certainly KTH's own words bear that out - "to hold your hand for as long as the road takes us."
These are people who have learned that you cannot rely on words like "Forever" and "Ever and Ever" and so on because people change as time passes. You can just hold someone's hand and walk together for as long as you can.
Now, this is one world view. It is not the common world view for k-dramas, rom-coms especially, and this world view does not sit well with many people on this board, it's true.
But I am happy to have watched this drama and debated these points with others, rather than watching yet another drama where there is one true pairing for all time. Sometimes, it doesn't work that way.
And that's okay.
Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:31 AM
+1 samsooki
Call me cynical, but happily ever afters only happen in dramaland and it stops after the finale.
We never see next part after the "end of the beginning". We imagine happiness, but life and it's various attractions and distractions interferes. The question is whether the relationship is strong enough to withstand the different hurdles throughout - sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.
This explains the increasing divorce rate throughout the world.
shiroikiwi
October 3, 2014 at 12:04 PM
Well said, samsooki!
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AJ
October 3, 2014 at 3:08 PM
Lying is corrosive in relationships. Period.
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:24 AM
Therapy is useless for those who have no insight of his or her own problem (ie, HJ). It's painful for anybody to admit on his/her own accord that he/she have "issues" that need to be dealt with, I know, we've all been there. Or rather, I have been there, done that.
At the very least throughout the series
1) Yeo Reum admitted to herself, TH and Sol that she was attracted to Tae Ha again (and she is trying to overcome it), and she didn't do anything because she was already committed to HJ. Whether or not she truly loves HJ and whether or not it is correct for her to be attracted to someone else when she is in a relationship is worthy of a 10 page discussion.
I am actually very proud of her (can I be proud of a drama character?) that she ended things off with TH because it was the right thing to do, although her heart does not think that way. So what is she suppose to do, agree with her heart and have a smoochfeast with TH after the confrontation?
2) Tae Ha matured throughout the series, nothing more need to be said. The period prior to breakup, he was a boy trying to mature into a responsible full fledging adult at an accelerated pace; his ability to deal with work, sleep deprivation, responsibility, relationship, finances (for the planned proposal/marriage), parental pressure etc all the same time took its toll. I know it first hand, and I've seen it happen to a lot of my classmates (+ their breakups) from grad school - intern - work.
I don't think he was a "jerk" for ignoring YH, I would say that he wasn't very sensitive to her cues (look, pretty much all men are the same in their 20's and actually in their 30's too) and he didn't mature the same rate as she did (again, same for all men in their 20's versus woman the same age)
As for Ha Jin
HJ just needs to look into himself. His insecurity and difficulty in trust for others stems from his childhood experience of being abandoned (orphanage), then guilt tripped by the adoption experience (him over AR). His whole life is spent trying to please people (mainly mum and usually YR) and putting on a happy nice facade + being the over doting boyfriend that YR was looking for (seemingly 180 of old TH). So that's who he is, find someone who is dependent on him instead of YR (who tries, but failed)
If the world was black and white with only truths and no lies then it will be a very, very painful place.
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 8:31 AM
Your comment makes me miss the like button, because I like it so much, and agree with all of what you've said.
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Selina
October 3, 2014 at 3:43 PM
@kandiboo
ACCURATE!!!! I agree with every analysis of these characters.
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Alixana
October 3, 2014 at 7:27 AM
I agree with you. Love isn't neat.
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Jang
October 3, 2014 at 7:31 AM
This is a great comment and I applaud it. I think people are too easily caught up in the idea of love that when the reality of how messy, painful and selfish it can be is exposed like this show has done, they hide from it.
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 7:38 AM
On another topic, I’ve heard rumblings from commenters over the past few episode recaps about people needing therapy, etc.
The question is, why?
I've been wondering the same thing! I mean, I know there are some schools of thought that suggest that everybody could benefit from some good therapy sessions, but apart from that I don't see the characters in this show as being so especially messed up that they are in particularly dire need of therapeutic intervention. Yes, they're sometimes confused, confusing, irrational, silly, unkind, selfish,petty, etc. etc., but so are we all; it's called being human. I dunno; sometimes I read the comments and they make me wonder if the empathy and affection I feel for these characters (except NHJ, who is becoming more and more unlikeable as things go on) is a sign that I need some therapy myself!
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:43 AM
I might not like him very much, but I sympathise with Ha Jin a lot. Poor Ha Jin, he doesn't know himself well enough to know why YR broke up with him at the end of 14.
Like it or not, the characters are real human. Do we all need therapy?
The reason why this comment section overflows after every episode (and I'm enjoying it) is because this is the most HUMAN drama of 2014, where everyone can relate to a character in the drama! (even though yes, I do daydream that I too can have the secret hot chaebol stud fall in love and marry me in my next life, yippie!!!)
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Because of Reasons
October 3, 2014 at 8:57 AM
Agreed, agreed and agreed. Even though I don't like Nam Ha Jin, I really admire what the drama has done with him as a character. He started off so seemingly perfect and sweet and chivalrous, and slowly we've seen his weaknesses and flaws revealed. It's actually kind of briliiant how they've done that.
He's really kind of a mess inside, poor thing, torn up by guilt and the desire to please, trying so hard to be (or seem to be) a nice guy, and suppressing a lot of feelings. In the last few epislodes it really hit home that he's kept asking Yeo Reum why she loves him, and if he would still love him if he wasn't a good/nice guy. Ha Jin doesn't believe that he is a good person, he feels that he is living a lie, and he doesn't believe that he is really loveable and deserving of love. I don't like him, but I pity him a bit.
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 9:05 AM
If HJ is real, I will tell him this:
For others to love you, first accept and love yourself.
(this does not apply to dramaland and real life egomaniacs)
Selina
October 3, 2014 at 3:54 PM
I actually do have a discretion length word file on NHJ and all the reasons why he needs to seek therapy for so many issues he keeps in (being an orphan, abandonment, guilt, feeling the need to please others). Basically it all came down to him deserving more than he was reviving in his relationship with YR and the sadness of his believing that that was as good as it was ever going to get and feeling that he could never have or deserve more. It ended with "no one can truly love you if you don't learn to love yourself HJ. Others will continue to treat like shit and you accept the shit handed to you if you don't learn that you are important, your happiness is important, you are moveable and deserve love and could have more." Off coursr I never posted it anywhere due to embarrassment at my deep thoughts on fictional characters.
Ann (@planoslp)
October 3, 2014 at 8:49 AM
I think HYR did a good thing by letting NHJ go before they got married if she was not ready to wholeheartedly commit to him. I think they could have had a workable marriage if she was willing to commit to work things out. If she does decide to have a relationship with KTH, then she will have to learn how to be more honest and how to stick with it when times get tough. Both of the guys had been willing to propose even though the relationship was not perfect.
Anyone believing that over the years you will always be happy with each other, perfectly honest, and never think of breaking up is mistaken.
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Selina
October 3, 2014 at 4:08 PM
I agree I think YR did the right think for both herself and HJ by ending the engagement. I think her ending things was about herself and not her feelings for TH (which did factor) a fact I think some viewers are missing and are thus so mad about her choice. She didn't end things to get back with TH (though I believe things are headed that way, it is a kdrama after all but because of HJ's demands in the car which showed her they wouldn't be happy in the long since she wasn't willing to commit and give up the things he was asking her to give up) she ended things because I believe she saw she wouldn't be happy with HJ and she saw that their marriage would head down the path of both their parents. A marriage where you stay but you no longer talk (the white noise phone call which ended with the meaningless I love you, get silence throughout the whole car ride) which she doesn't want. She never should have accepted his proposal so I'm glad she came to her senses before the I Do's and ended things. Although right now none may understand or support such a decision (her friends, HJ) in the long run, it was for the best and by the cat of everyone involved (YR, TH, HJ).
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 5:04 PM
Agree. I think when Yeoreum broke up with Hajin, it was what Hajin asked her to do when they were in the car that made her realize they had grown distance and it's better for both of them to end it.
She may or may not get back to Taeha in the later episodes but at the time she broke up with Hajin, it wasn't about getting back with Taeha.
nomad
October 3, 2014 at 6:24 PM
sometimes I read the comments and they make me wonder if the empathy and affection I feel for these characters (except NHJ, who is becoming more and more unlikeable as things go on) is a sign that I need some therapy myself! -->> THIS! I've been wondering about myself too! I then start to ask myself, whether I'm such a bad person for being able to understand why YR does what she does.
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oonalala
October 3, 2014 at 7:53 PM
I wonder what the romantic relationships of the people who hate YR so much are like. I empathize with YR because my own history has it's share of messy, immature, stupid, controlling/manipulative, insincere interactions -- both on the giving and receiving end of those things. Then you learn from that, grow up and become a better person... hopefully.
The thing I love most about this drama is that the characters seem so real and relatable.
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noanao
October 3, 2014 at 8:41 AM
"Why does love have to fit into a turquoise box with a ribbon"
I just LOL-ed at the above phrase while staring at my 3 dimensional turquoise box with a ribbon, a purple ribbon :)
Agreed with your "Why does love have to be so clean, neat and tidy?" I am yet to experience that kind of love myself and even though I think I can declared that my dad's love for my mom and vice versa as the best in the universe, theirs was never clean, or neat or tidy. But because of that, it made them perfect for each other...
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pinkington
October 3, 2014 at 9:26 AM
Putting the relationships aside YRM needs therapy because of the death of her father. She found his body for heavens sake! That's enough to mess up anybody. She lied to her friends about what happened and didn't tell them about the funeral. She has spent years lying to everyone about it and gets anxiety disorders when she goes to places that hold memories. She definitely needs some therapy just so she can deal with her father's death.
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Selina
October 3, 2014 at 4:15 PM
Well yes therapy for this. But she doesn't need therapy for choices we may not agree with or like but I do agree she needs to seek help in truly processing and moving on from her father's death. It's like TH told her in this ep, "everything froze after your fathers death. Dreams remainder as dreams..." Even if her friends didn't know the circumstances of his death, it telling that the only people who seem to have noticed and commented on this are TH (and YR's mom one to director Bae about how not okay YR is despite appearances saying otherwise).
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 4:39 PM
It doesn't show much since Taeha & Yeoreum first talked about her dad's suicide, and may be just me, but she seems to be coping better after that talk. It may need some more time but I think she's on her way of healing...
Though, Yeoreum definitely needed therapy years ago... It's weird mom didn't take her to see therapist early on since she's the only one that knows about this. Make me wonder if therapy isn't popular in Korea.
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Wiha
October 3, 2014 at 8:13 PM
Unlike western countries therapy is not a common thing in many Asia country. Only serious case of disorder. In fact it is consider a taboo by some, although now people are more open about it.
That is why for me, it is not weird for the mom not thinking about therapy. However she should be the one who comfort the daughter.
aisuzieya
October 3, 2014 at 11:21 AM
finally a voice of reason. I love a good fluffy romcom but I also love a good drama that focuses on a rather realistic take of say in this case; relationship and love.
IRL, people are complicated, they take time to ponder, to make decisions, they make mistakes, they lie and sometimes circumstances can be cruel to us.
I came in with zero expectation for the drama, just to enjoy the pretties and sexy but my oh my, what a pleasantly beautiful surprise it is. truly one of the best drama for the second half of 2014.
Although not flawless, the drama is truly well written and planned. And the actors help elevate the materials too~ And I'm glad the writer sticks to her/his gun, with such an unapologetic heroin and egoistic hero, not many would want to root for them.
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12 hipployta
October 3, 2014 at 6:55 AM
All I took from this is I would not want to be friends with or work with someone like Yeoreum or Taeha...not at all
I actually think their relationship is toxic in a way
Hajin...time to cut your losses man and don't let your bad luck to have interacted with these people change you for the worse like Yeoreum did. I'd actually considering moving practices away from Joon Ho too for a clean break
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13 Mrs. Jang guem suk
October 3, 2014 at 6:55 AM
They need Love Shuffle Yay Panda!!!!! ( why doesn't Kore Remake that show it would be fun ?
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ryoko
October 3, 2014 at 1:40 PM
Yay Panda! However, I think if Korea remade that show, they would tone it down a lot, perhaps less so if it was remade on a cable channel.
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14 Jang
October 3, 2014 at 7:34 AM
I think Yoo-reum may be one of my favorite kdrama heroines of all time. She's actually an interesting and fully realized character who doesn't shirk from the negative aspects of her personality, but is still a capable, talented and loving person. Forgive yourself, forgive those around you, and please find your peace and happiness girl.
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15 Lisa
October 3, 2014 at 7:42 AM
Finally all the true feelings are revealed.
Previously but I was ok with Yeorum & Hajin hanging on and give it their try but in ep.13 & 14, it becomes clear it's so wrong if these 2 are together. Hajin is selfish & obsessive, just holding onto Yeorum than it's actually love. Who is he to quit her job for her? And don't let me start on making Yeorum walk 5 hours walking in high heels. You love some one you don't hurt some one like that. It's sign to let go. It's better for the both of them.
There're shares of faults among the 3 but Hajin is my least fav character because of immaturity in his choice of actions & thinking. Insisting on their love will never change, unlike others. Saying he won't sit back when provoked, yet he's the one that actually looking for a fight by asking, saying things things that he knows he won't get the response he likes to hear, duh
["How much more do you want to get hurt by me? Do you think I’ll feel good about that? How much more do you want to hate me? Why do you want to continue on an obvious path to the end?” ] - I feel sorry for Hajin but really he's asking for it. I wish he had done the noble thing and let go of first before she put the nail in the coffin. Yes, he's been consistent being the idiot
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alua
October 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM
<Hajin is selfish & obsessive, just holding onto Yeorum than it’s actually love. Who is he to quit her job for her? And don’t let me start on making Yeorum walk 5 hours walking in high heels.
I agree on the selfishness and obsessive part with Hajin, but if someone chooses to walk in heels for hours in pain, I can't lay the blame all on Hajin. If she wants to do that because she thinks she deserves that kind of punishment, rather than just taking those shoes off, stopping walking or saying something, that's just ridiculous. Other people aren't there to babysit you.
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Lisa
October 3, 2014 at 8:34 AM
["If she wants to do that because she thinks she deserves that kind of punishment"] you're so clearly Hajin bias to even come up with such excuse. She's the one that stopped him from the madness and she didn't know he was doing that to punish her
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 9:01 AM
One who has gone through a "male silent treatment" by the other half probably will not easily say that she should have stopped walking or spoken up. Since YR is smart enough to know what ticked HJ off, it's probably best just to shut up and go with the flow unless it becomes unbearable.
The result of interruption is explosion with no damage control whatsoever - I prefer not to be on the receiving end of it.
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nomad
October 3, 2014 at 6:28 PM
HJ scares me when he did that, just towing her around knowing that he's physically causing her pain. He's an abuser, and I agree with you, Kandiboo…I think he's capable of laying it down thick and really hurting YR physically.
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:15 PM
Although I differ and think that HJ didn't deliberately want to cause her physical pain by dragging her around town in those heels. Also I didn't mean that HJ might be physically violent with YR, because I think he has enough self restraint with YR - I mean being explosion of emotions in the public. Of course he's capable of the actual fighting too)
He just had a lot of pent up frustration, anger and jealousy against both YR and TH. He did manage to keep his composure during breakfast and he didn't explode in the street. The silent treatment isn't necessarily bad or wrong, it's an alternative method of expression of emotions for a lot of male species (and us woman too). The key is to know the reason starting the silent treatment and to be able to resolve/talk out the issue before it drags on too long.
16 Michelle
October 3, 2014 at 7:42 AM
This is the same story as I love romance 2 without the hot make out scenes. eric can defintely bring it. I wish there were two more weeks. I don't know how they are going to end this.
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 4:24 PM
You know how many wish it were with cable TV instead.... but claps to KBS for being rather gutsy with the 'little' skinship there were in DoR :)
I don't know how this will end either... was it a clear cut early on for INR2? or any INR installment at all?
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infiniti512
October 3, 2014 at 8:04 PM
I've seen all three and nope, it was never clear cut until the very end. haha
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 8:54 PM
hahaha till EP.16 then!!!
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17 Lisa
October 3, 2014 at 7:52 AM
Hajin the passive obsessive kind of boy friend, I really don't want
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Mian
October 3, 2014 at 8:13 AM
If I were Yeo Reum, I already broke up with him when the first time he yelled in front of Tae Ha and Ahn Ah Rim.
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aisuzieya
October 3, 2014 at 11:29 AM
I think that will definitely raises a red flag with me if my boyfriend did that to me in front of stranger no less.
Problem with HJ is, he is very insecure and unsure of himself. Like someone above said, he need to learn to love and accept himself, in order to love and appreciate others. Its understandable why he has such fear and insecurity, judging by his past actions and history when he was adopted, but if Ah Rim(the person he thinks he "wronged") can forgive him and accept him now, he should truly forgive himself. Now its time to make up for all the lost time and help her as much as he could.
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18 light
October 3, 2014 at 8:01 AM
This episode's argument scenes between Ha Jin and Yeo Reum seems so real. My heart hurt quite a bit. Can't help but tear up at a few scenes. I know many people hate Yeo Reum but I teared up when she opened up her arms to Ha Jin and welcomed the 'new' Ha Jin the Orphan. It shows her unbiased view on orphans.
I was nodding my head when Kang Tae Ha made it known to Ha Jin that Yeo Reum loves herself more than anyone and Ha Jin forcing Yeo Reum to stop doing what she loves is a mistake. Ha Jin will only hold Yeo Reum back. My heart contracted a little with this truth: that we love to be with people who support our growth. In each others' growth. It is a toxic relationship (some cases) when you lose yourself and forget who you are for the sake of the other person.
I do agree that Yeo reum hiding the fact that Kang Tae Ha was her lover was wrong. I once believed a guy who told me that I was his first girlfriend until I found some evidences that I wasn't. I didn't care that he had girlfriends before me. It was betrayal and dishonesty. It felt like the world fell on me. So i understood Ha Jin's anger and shock.
Dishonesty is cancer people. Don't do it. It breaks apart trust.
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19 samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 8:07 AM
Actually, Yoon Sol is probably the one who seems to be on the edge of needing therapy, if you think about it.
Her getting kicked to the curb by the 10-year "friend" really left her in a weird place, and now she's sampling 3 suitors at once - the oppa who is the ex ("X Oppa"), the oppa who has always been there ("ABT Oppa"), and the oppa she met at work ("W Oppa").
Who should Yoon Sol be with?
Pros and Cons for the Three Oppas (could be a nice title for a winter rom-com). I will use the patent-pending (Samsooki TM) Oppa Blanket Rating System.
1. X Oppa.
a. Pros. Has held her heart the longest.
b. Cons. Is a bit cowardly, kind of a loser, wasn't very considerate.
c. Oppa Blanket Rating. Unfortunately, he's a wet blanket. What X Oppa needs is a backbone and some verve. And smile more.
2. ABT Oppa.
a. Pros. Has always had a part of his heart set on Yoon Sol. Is funny. Is successful. Smart. Is the most comfortable.
b. Cons. Quite immature. Also not very considerate. Lives day to day, and has no thoughts of the future despite his advancing age.
c. Oppa Blanket Rating. He's a cotton sheet. Fine to the touch, but very, very thin. He's got to get more depth before he can keep Yoon Sol warm when it gets cold.
3. W Oppa.
a. Pros. He can do it all. Cook, clean, feed, takes responsibility. Smart, loyal, warm. Dependable. Friendly and open. Considerate and funny.
b. Cons. He's not a spring chicken... not that there's anything wrong with that, but let's be honest - he would be my first choice maybe 10 years ago. Is that fair? No, but I'm just saying. I can have an opinion even if it is not quite fair.
c. Oppa Blanket Rating. He's a warm old comforter.
***
Wait, but am I saying that W Oppa is the best choice? But he's old.... scratch that, he's just experienced in life. No no, don't spin it. He's old. But what's wrong with that? Nothing, but let's be clear here. This is Yoon Sol. Would Yoon Sol be happy with an ancient? HEY, not fair and not cool, he's not ancient. Fine, I take that back, but he's clearly the oldest. But so what?
Hmmmmmm.....
The choice is between ABT Oppa and W Oppa. My money is on ABT Oppa only because he's a bigger character on the drama, but if I were Yoon Sol, I'd probably try W Oppa first, since ABT Oppa, by definition, would always be there.
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Sandra
October 3, 2014 at 8:22 AM
If I were Sol, I'll choose the one who knows the worst of me as the most dirty human being in the world but still love me to death. Guess who is he?
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samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 8:24 AM
hehe.
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cingdoc
October 3, 2014 at 4:57 PM
There's no truer love than from a person who loves you despite knowing your worst( behaviors/ traits)- cotton blanket please ?
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:52 AM
are you sure W Oppa would be your first choice 10 years ago? I'd say he'd be my first choice (lets say I'm at a similar age where most Asian girls are asked WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET)
If I was any younger I'd go for X Oppa since I've held a flame for him for 10 years and I WANT IT TO WORK PLEASE
Somewhere in the middle after being crashed and burned by X Oppa I'd got for comfy ABT Oppa, because you know, we all want to be with someone who knows you "the best"
After being jaded by ABT Oppa because WTF, he doesn't know what to do with his life + has NO plans to settle when he's >32yo (HJ calls him Hyung, and HJ's 32), I'd totally go for W Oppa.
Who cares if he's old, most men are immature boys until their early to mid 30's and emotionally approx 5-10 years < woman at the same age. I'd say W Oppa can have Sol calm and settled down nicely thus avoiding the need for therapy.
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samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 10:10 AM
Well, let's talk extremes for a second.
1. If W Oppa were 110 years old, that's too old.
2. If W Oppa were 17 years old, that's too young.
So, somewhere between 17 and 110 years old, there's a line.
I don't know how old W Oppa is, and obviously, the line differs according to the person, but I guess the question is whether for the reasonable 30-something, is W Oppa too old?
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Pyromaniac
October 3, 2014 at 12:14 PM
I understand Sol to be 32 and Yoon to be 37.
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samsooki
October 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM
That's great, that works out for everyone.
My vote is for W Oppa, even if it is likely that ABT Oppa will get the nod because we are in the final week.
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nomad
October 3, 2014 at 6:33 PM
I've always liked the "idea" of marrying ABT Oppa…but knowing fully well I'd have chosen W Oppa. I'm rooting for Sol to be happiest, and I think she'll be happy with either one (ABT or W).
Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:21 PM
In my POV anything within a +10-15 year age gap is pretty much OK for a woman in the 30's (for marriage and life long partnership). So yes, even if he was in his early 40's W Oppa still gets my vote of confidence.
Somehow I get the feeling that I'm a lot older than a lot of the commentators here. GAH.
Mrs. Jang guem suk
October 3, 2014 at 12:46 PM
Lol I really miss the like buttons this cracked me up ?. I would go with ABT Oppa because he would knows everything about her and she doesn't have to explain what or how she feeling cause he will always know . That's saraghae ??
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Selina
October 3, 2014 at 5:34 PM
I'ld totally go with W Oppa (ahjussi) and I am bit young for him (it would still be legally allowed). Like you said he can cook, clean, feed, is loyal, adorkable, and experienced. Also has a really cute bromance with his boss. Only down side is he seems to have nothing much going on outside of work and said boss bromance. But yeah, W Oppa all the way.
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cingdoc
October 3, 2014 at 6:11 PM
Love your OBRS .... A definte necessity in Kdramaland ?
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20 Lisa
October 3, 2014 at 8:23 AM
whatever the hypocrisy in some of the comments, Yeoreum and Taeha, this quote is for you
Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known? - W. Shakespeare
I don't know who will end up with who or none at all but life goes on........
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AJ
October 3, 2014 at 3:04 PM
Of course, that's from MacBeth, spoken by MacBeth, and we all know how that turned out -- I think the whole point of that play is that sometimes we should refrain from doing what our heart ... or our ambition or our ego ... tell us to do.
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Spi
October 4, 2014 at 11:50 AM
+1
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21 PeepsLeAwesomePotato
October 3, 2014 at 8:32 AM
I haven't been watching this drama live and have only been reading the recaps (I've only streamed those parts in which Sol and JoonHo were in direct interaction with each other because they're hilarious) but, boy, is this drama emotionally-draining or what.
This drama would not even have had happened if YeoReum had just gone on a one person trip to an uninhabited island to discover what she really wants without constant confusing forces making her waver all the time. And after that, then can she start cutting relationships cleanly for the benefit of all involved. Some people here think that she knows what she wants. But I don't think she knows what she REALLY wants.
Or better still, this drama wouldn't even have had happened if TaeHa hadn't popped up during this fragile period of YeoReum and HaJin's relationship.
If I may paraphrase Chilbongie, Fate's a bitch.
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Selina
October 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM
Going by what you say: the irony of it all is that YR and TH would have never bumped into each other at the hotel if Ha Jin had been straightforward and honest with her about going on those marriage dates. Ha Jin unknowingly set into motion the ending of his already doomed before TH came into the picture relationship (let's be real their relationship's foundation was weak as hell). So life is not just "fate" it is the actions and reactions of choices you and others make. Just as Jeong didn't choose Chilbong, YR chose to let go of HJ. Where's "fate" in that?
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Kandiboo
October 3, 2014 at 8:24 PM
Don't bring back my uber sad Chilbongie memories :( Against K-dramaland logic I totally rooted for him back then.
Life's a bitch.
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PeepsLeAwesomePotato
October 3, 2014 at 9:48 PM
Obviously not everything is fate. Obviously, everyone gets a say in their own lives.
And I believe that fate is just another name to describe the culmination of consequences in the present of actions done in the past by multiple players.
Like, if I may extend on your theory that HaJin was the one who made YeoReum and TaeHa meet again (?), if Taeha had not chosen to be at that restaurant at that point in time, or if HaJin and his "date" had not chosen that restaurant to meet at during that time or even if YeoReum had chosen to wait and demand explanation from HaJin instead of confronting/stalking him, then YeoReum and TaeHa would never have met as thus.
Jeong not choosing Chilbong is not fate. YeoReum choosing to let go of HaJin is not fate. But you cannot deny that their decisions were based on past experiences which must have had some element of fate. If Oppa hadn't appeared suddenly before NaJung or if he hadn't fallen sick, NaJeong could have had chosen Chilbong, because Oppa would just have been a thing that wasn't meant to be. If TaeHa had not popped up in their lives, and swayed YeoReum, YeoReum could also simply have stayed with HaJin, getting over and believing that TaeHa was a thing of the past. If both Oppa and TaeHa hadn't appeared at that point in time when both female protagonists were not yet all-in with their relationships, perhaps things could have turned out differently.
I'm not saying that everything happens because of fate only or that anyone is in the wrong. I'm just saying that there are some coincidences or events that are inexplicable that will affect your experience and final decision. They are unavoidable and sometimes untimely, but it is in that that Fate's a bitch.
It's not something that you can control but it will affect you.
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22 My name is Amy
October 3, 2014 at 8:59 AM
Thanks for the recap, I like the fact that you apologized for using the word bitch, I hate that word so much, and it has been irritating to see people using it to describe Yeorum, i turn off the comments on Viki just for that reason. People need to stop name calling so easily, noticed the same thing while watching My name is Kim Sam Soon and Coffee prince, with the second female leads. Other than that, still enjoying the show, and i can't hate anyone of the three main characters, even AAR who was a little annoying for a while is likable again.
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23 owl 🦉 🫰
October 3, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Yeo-reum's "I'm sorry" x 12 - poor Ha-jin, he's right, that's the last thing he wants to hear. Because it means nothing and fixes nothing. So annoying - I'm fuming!
I don't know at this point, no shipping cuz it is just not fun or right with this triangle.
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24 soyoung
October 3, 2014 at 10:27 AM
First off, thanks for the recap. I actually really enjoy this drama. For once the characters feel real. They all have their flaws and moments of jealousy which make them do or say selfish things. And those selfish things, like asking Yoreum to stop working with her ex or Yoreum telling Ahrim to stay away from Hajin are completely understandable. Yoreum is a character that I personally can sympathize with. When you're in a relationship with a person for that long, one that you had no doubt about seeing through to the end, they become a part of you. She was innocent and naive while with Taeha and he saw all of her ups and downs without filters or calculations during the pivotal moments of her life. Hajin only knows Yoreum on the surface and breaks down at the slightest of bumps in their relationship. Although there is blame on Yoreum for guarding herself by manipulating situations in her favour, as someone who was deeply hurt in a previous relationship I can understand why she does it. Although I don't condone the fact that she did indeed emotionally cheat on Hajin with Taeha, given the particular circumstances of their break-up and the unresolved feelings thereafter I find it hard to point fingers at the guilty party. As per the bitch-calling I don't think anyone necessarily deserves that title no matter what they have done and especially without context. The greatest disservice Yoreum did to Hajin was ultimately not explaining exactly why she broke up with him. I honestly never rooted for Hajin and Yoreum because they were never fully honest with each other. A relationship built on lies and hidden secrets is a relationship that is doomed to fail. It's why after 5 years of truth and honesty between Taeha and Yoreum they broke up in the end because of Yoreum's father's death. I tip my hat to the writers of this show for making every character flawed and giving us complicated backstories to nibble at our moral compasses that sometimes aren't so set in stone. Humans aren't saints even though dramas like to think they are. I'm glad Discovery of Romance agrees that we shouldn't be expected to be saints in life either.
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Joann
October 3, 2014 at 10:54 AM
*hits "like" button*
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Phi
October 3, 2014 at 4:18 PM
so agree with everything you said, especially the last 3 sentences. :)
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25 Kit
October 3, 2014 at 3:16 PM
There are no clear cut villains and heroes in real life. Especially in a relationship. And sometimes you don't choose the 'better' guy - hell, there is no better guy, just the one better suited for you.
Shrugs. I've realised I'm much more selfish than I once thought through dating. Nobody's a saint. The only reason that until now Yeoreum and Hajin were able to work was because it was sweet and superficial. If they went through hell and back, Hajin would stay with her but say he loved her hollowly many days of his life. Props to Yeoreum for being able to go for what she wants.
I think this drama is realistic and has truly three dimensional characters.
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26 Phi
October 3, 2014 at 4:16 PM
Characters with their flaws & imperfections but THAT's, what gives this drama a heart.
I was taken aback by Taeha's birthday wish to be Han Yeoreum at first, then the reasons that followed made me cried. Writer-nim, you're good!
Two more episodes to go, I hope the writer will address why Yeoreum's father committed suicide. Was it because he had an affair, had a son but mom didn't want to divorce and they lived a miserable marriage.
I hope my ship will sail (they deserve it), but I like that the writer makes it not easy to tell who will end up with who or none at all... there're many possibilities to swing things around. I take anything but please don't give us an open ending writer-nim.
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27 jozie
October 3, 2014 at 4:22 PM
You know, if I didn't think this was going to go with an OTPS ending, I would be fine with whoever YR ended up with since real life can be quite messy and people do all sorts of crazy things in relationships even if they aren't bad people. Don't get me wrong, I love the OTP fantasy endings in many dramas. But I would be down in this one if YR picks a guy but you know the future is uncertain, not that he is the one with a angelic choir singing in the background.
I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for an early time skip. Everyone's emotions are so wild right now, I would like a time skip with time left in the show to explore everyone's new spot.
I think it's a sign of a good show when you like the show but aren't necessarily in love with the characters. It's not that I think the are absolutely horrible, just flawed in ways I don't know if I would want to deal with if I met them on the street. Even Sol, as much as I love on the show would drive me crazy if I knew her in real life.
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28 Aigoooo
October 3, 2014 at 5:15 PM
This show has been a complete departure from what we are used to watching in kdramaland... Flawed leads that can be quite easy to hate with complicated relationships that mirror real life. After doing some reflection, I finally realized the reason why I actually dropped this drama. It's just too real for my taste and the reason why I watch kdramas is to escape reality. I miss my Candy characters so I think I'll go watch an episode of Coffee Prince right now. lol
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AJ
October 4, 2014 at 4:40 AM
I wouldn't find it enjoyable to spend time with the three leads in real life either.
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29 missjb
October 3, 2014 at 5:30 PM
I love this love triangle conflict... How I wish fated to love you did the same thing with Sera - Gun - Mi Young relationship... Makes triangle has meaning and purpose with depth... I love jow torn yeo reom is between both guys because it's actually quite often happen in real life... I actually surprise with viewers reactions here... Don't you have ever once liking more than more than one man..? But eventually.. There must be the stronger one...? If not.. Well you are really a saint and only knows loving one man in your life...that's awsome
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30 infiniti512
October 3, 2014 at 8:06 PM
I've never seen a drama inspire such book writing in the comments. I love reading them. Thanks!
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Spi
October 4, 2014 at 11:52 AM
Hahah indeed, book-writing comments. I really enjoy them too!
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31 Monica
October 3, 2014 at 9:34 PM
He leído muchos comentarios y muchos van en contra de YR. No creovque sea una mala persona . Ella cometió muchos errores en su relación pasada y una de ellas fue la falta de comunicación Con TH ella sintió que le fallo en el momento que mas lo necesitaba como fue ela muerte de su padre. La que debió hablar fue ella, la que acumuló tanto rencor y la que terminó sin explicaciones claras fue YR. Ahora se presenta un TH mas maduro que le muestra que puede cambiar y entenderla es comprensible que ella sienta que puede volver a empezar con la persona que compartió 5 años de su vida alguien que aun la.ama y le comprende. Lastima por Ha Jin quien la ama pero queprefiere evitar conflictos y le gusta sentirse la víctima en una relación.
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32 August
October 3, 2014 at 10:35 PM
"There are three constants in life...change, choice and principles." ~Stephen Covey
"Life is ten percent (10%) what happens to you and ninety percent (90%) how you respond to it." ~Lou Holtz
"The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy." ~John F. Kennedy
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~Lao Tzu
"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases." ~Carl Jung
"It's not what you look at that matters it's what you see." ~Henry David Thoreau
FRENCH: "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur...L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." ~Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry
ENGLISH Translations:
"One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye. OR: You can see clearly only with the heart. The essence cannot be seen with the eyes. OR: You can only see with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." ~The Little Prince
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." ~Henry David Thoreau
"We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect." ~Henry David Thoreau
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." ~Henry David Thoreau
"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." ~ Henry David Thoreau
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33 Lily
October 3, 2014 at 11:05 PM
No matter the endgame will be I enjoy watching this show. Every casts fit perfectly. And story is unpredictable. Especially, I like to see how YR can speak her mind and always be independent, I love how Tae Ha grows emotionally and respect the choice of his beloved.
Looking at their personality, Yeo Reum-Tae Ha more match each other. They shows some dynamics. They fight, argue, competitive, joking around, caring and sharing. So, I'll support this couple. In fact, they're still in love. However, In my point of view, Tae Ha is emotionally stronger and mature than Nam Ha Jin. Even if at the end he won't get the lady, he'll be definitely ok. So, if Yeo Reum would choose Nam Ha Jin in the end, doesn't matter for me too, because Ha Jin shows his deep love for her and YR could reach her dream for having non-failed relationship again.
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34 Larissa
October 4, 2014 at 3:02 AM
Why calling her bitch? Yeo Reum decided to break up with Nam Ha Jin because she doesn't wanna hurt him more and more…We still don't know the final decision. There is still possibility she'll back to Ha Jin because she has 'will' to keep her relationship as she said many times. The will that she stated is more than the power of love that she has for Kang Tae Ha.
Personally, in my opinion, Kang Tae Ha is definition of man. He straight forward, he loves his woman not only the matter that the girl should be and always by his side but he supports to reach his girl's dream. He has view of future and could maintain his emotion. He really wants YR but he still respect her decision even though he knows YR still loves him.
On the other hand, I think Nam Ha Jin has problem with trust, emotion and insecurities. However, originally he's good guy. He wants to give everything to his beloved which makes him totally blind and could lead him to misbehavior. But I'm sure he really loves her and will try his best to make her happy.
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35 Jenny
October 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
Yes Kang Tae Ha is THE MAN. If Yeoreum chooses to stay with that insecured, abusive man then good luck to her. May be it'll end up like her parents' marriage.
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36 Spi
October 4, 2014 at 11:58 AM
You guys have said many insightful things here but there's one thing I have to disagree: that Tae Ha is the perfect man for Yeo Reum. I think the mere fact that he is a man who can walk out of a 5-year relationship without even knowing why speaks volume of how little he loved Yeo Reum and valued the relationship. Yes he is all sincere now and he has very strong feelings for her now, but that never mends the fact that he just discarded her out of his life for 5 years without making any effort even to understand why. Seriously, I don't think Ha Jin is the best boyfriend ever, but Tae Ha is only starting to have very strong feelings about Yeo Reum now. There is very little indication that these feelings would amount to the kind of love that would work out in a marriage.
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Phi
October 4, 2014 at 2:56 PM
If he really 'discarded' her all these years, then why does he keep all the photos and letters they had? If he didn't love her, why would he work his butt off to plan for their future, earn enough money to open a work shop for Yeoreum and encouraged her to win the design competition as his birthday wish?
Yes he made mistake but it wasn't like cheated on her, a woman beater, those deadbeats. I'm sure if Yeoreum didn't move he would had patched thing up with her already, but then there is no drama.
"There is very little indication that these feelings would amount to the kind of love that would work out in a marriage." Can you elaborate on what "indications" for it to work out in a marriage?
Two persons mutually love each other, no lie, no secrets between them, sharing same sort of interests, supporting each other to grow, financially stable... ect... that enough?
Is there any guarantee that Hajin or another man will bring Yeoreum a better relationship or marriage? No one has that crystal ball, then why people keep getting stuck with Yeoreum & Taeha should not be together "because he's the ex"? Look at how he has matured as well as her love for him hasn't changed.
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37 Christy
October 4, 2014 at 4:31 PM
Don't forget that she "picked" HJ because he was "safe:" she wouldn't be hurt for loving more. In the last episode aired, she quit because she knew he would break up with her eventually for being hurt for just that: loving more as she did with TH. As she stated, she knows because lived it.
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38 Alicia
October 4, 2014 at 5:16 PM
Yeoreum is no good. She's playing with both men.
If she really want to stay commited to her boyfriend Hajin, she should quit her job already. And why must she threw a birthday party for Taeha? Then she asked him what would he do if he knew what she's thinking? She heard what she wants to hear but she scold Taeha and tell him not to shake her up. pffff you don't want to be shaken up then stay away and don't look for it.
The 2 guys deserve some one better than this girl. She's the one that put them both in misery with her wishy washy behaviour. She doesn't know what she want so she should stop toying with people
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Thandy
October 4, 2014 at 8:12 PM
I agree with you somewhat, if you are being tempted by an ex why the hell would you enter into a relationship professional or otherwise when you don't have to. To me if Yeo Reum had really wanted to get over her ex and try being together with Ha Jin , she wouldn't have spent so much time with the ex. I really don't like her at all, I can't stand her actions and the lies in this drama was so annoying. This is not my drama at all sadly.
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39 jerle
October 4, 2014 at 10:59 PM
@bd5 hits the nail exacty on the head!!
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40 uli
October 5, 2014 at 6:48 AM
What's so good about Ha Jin? He went to a blind date behind YR's back. He held another girl's hand, hid himself and left YR behind and chose to go with that girl. By doing thay, He humiliated YR in front of that girl and TH. And on this episode, he dragged her for 5 hour and look at YR's feet, he knew she suffered but he just kept doing it despite hos anger.
Shipping him with YR is a "No, thank you" for me.
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41 inna
October 5, 2014 at 8:18 PM
I guess there's something wrong with YR. It would be daebak if the writer creates the YR character is actually has such mental-illness or psychoneurotic because her family problem.
Well, I won't hate drama character that much if she is...
Thankfully I'm not the writer since I'm not gonna let her end up with any males. It's more suitable with the sad ending drama.
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42 osmanthustea
October 6, 2014 at 2:47 AM
I started this drama late so I've been mostly lurking while I caught up with the show, but I think I really love this for how real the characters are. Fated did a good job, but theirs had a lot of intervention from external circumstances whereas Discovery is really focused on character development.
Everyone is flawed, but the stupid mistakes they make are very much human. No one really makes perfect, smart decisions all the time. Sometimes we do things to save our skin, or because we think it's a white lie when it blows over. When YR first woke up at TH's place, she probably thought that's the last time they will meet and decided it's not worth the trouble to admit it completely to HJ. At least she told him the truth about being drunk and ending up at someone's place. HJ may seem weak and controlling now, but that's also inevitable when you've given your all to someone and you realise it's all falling apart because it's just not enough, no matter how much you give in. TH gets flake for pursuing YR, but how can you stop your feelings? Even more so when the other guy seems less than perfect (e.g. TH was there when HJ was caught at the blind date, and when HJ screamed at YR over AR)? He has so much regret for not having done his best for YR, and seeing that she's not in perfect happiness, it's only natural that he might feel like he can't give her up for if it's not for a better guy.
I was rooting for TH at first - partly because I relate to their story - but HJ has come quite far, and I really can't don't prefer one over the other.
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43 Mivaaa
January 24, 2015 at 9:36 PM
With this episode I've finally come to understand some things. I remember when I started this show, that I felt that all the characters where shockingly likeable. This being a first for me. And tho I really loved TH and YR both, my favorite character where Joon Ho oppa. I loved how he was her good childhood friend and that he really seemed to be the older oppa taking care and protect his younger friends. That he really looked after them. However my love for him slowly changed after every episode, where I found more and more faults. And finally we've come to this episode where he really stepped over the line, and I will now explain exactly what I mean with this.
Firsty I want to say that I now have come to see him as a not very good inbetweener, he can't really balance his friendship with his new buddy HJ and his old time friend YR, and why? How come this is so hard for him. From my point of view I think that since he's always stayed by YR side all thru these years and been with her when things been both good and bad, then shouldn't the choice be obvious? Apparently not, because we see him a having more loyalty towards HJ than her. People may defend this saying that because they're both men that of course it's easier to understand and side with HJ, but not really, cause JH somewhat knew the backstory. Also he helped hide HJs meetings and "dates" with AR instead of really acting as that caring and protective friend that I think he should be and actually say something about this to YR.
And yes I know that people may now think that, hello he don't have to be like that just because they've been friends for longer than 20 years. And to that I say that's fault nr. 2.
I've come to hate how protective he's over Sol and that's before all his feelings started to grow. He followed her, he looked after her and mostly also stood by her side. But Sol (however awesome she is) isn't his only childhood friend who's been at his side for all this time. he should know YR so well knowing why she acts the way she does (even if he don't know the true reason behind YRs fathers death) and therefor not throw her away when it's either HJ or her. He, in my opinion, should be just as caring towards her. I have yet to see a really good taking care scene between these two.
Third thing is that I've heard that he's supporting HJ because they're friends and so on, but hold on wasn't he also friends with TH before he and YR broke up? He had no problem cutting of their friendship at that time, so why is it harder this time? "Because he became friends with HJ on his own, not because a relationship between HJ and YR" - friendships doesn't work like that, in the end it doesn't matter how the friendship comes to be, what matters is what your friendship is. If you see each other as friends then, no matter how you met, you should stil have a hard time quit being friends (especially if you don't quit because of your own feelings but because of someone...
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44 sel
July 23, 2018 at 10:50 PM
lol I mean, did anyone else find HJ's temper tantrum in the beginning kinda sexy? Not gonna lie, his whole 'hurt you, heal you' routine was kinda working for me.
I gotta disagree w/ the consensus on YR and the 'bitch' comment though; I really don't see why only her exes can call her that. That's generally where this show loses me too; it's so rigid sometimes with its own very specific rules on how people should behave and I feel like it asserts its own odd moralizing in a bit of an arrogant, annoying way. Like Yeo-reum's rules on how much her friends can judge her, especially. I did love the exchange b/w her and YS (the 'bad woman.' -> 'complicated bad woman.' scene), but even that chafed me a little. It's like the show thinks the 'complicated' bit cancels out the badness? I dunno -- I agreed with YR then that she didn't do anything that bad, though I'd argue that everyone, YS included, said as much also because they could feel what's coming up, and they're not wrong for that.
Anyway, of course he has a right to call her that; isn't Hae Jin his friend too? Just cos Joon-ho's YR's friend, can he not criticize her? I don't love the idea of friends being around only to clap your back.
It's one thing if it's like a language-specific thing, like specifically the word bitch due to the misogyny -- that's a much more compelling argument. But the way YR insists that no one outside of the relationship can criticize her seems so childish to me, especially when it comes to her friends (who are obviously involved in it, albeit on the outskirts).
Anyway, the way the show's done made me much less sympathetic for YR than I might've been otherwise by the end of it. Partially cos it kinda feels like she took an out; it simply didn't often feel like she loved HJ as much as the show verbalized even. They hit a bad bumpy road here and YR took her leave, whereas HJ (prolly to his fault) has always desperately been on the path of 'never leave.' Them breaking up feels like the right option, but HJ was so obviously on that path this whole time, and he's been begging for YR to join him this whole ride. She should've left earlier.
Anyway I think YR as a character can stay as she is -- it's not that I think it's wrong for a character to be flawed. What's so annoying here is that the show's behind her too much. I can feel it shoving its opinion in my face, daring me to judge her and then slapping my knuckles for it. Personally, I think if it backed off a bit, I'd feel more sympathetic for her than I do now. As it is though, she was kinda a bitch here. :/
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sel
July 23, 2018 at 11:02 PM
And, wanted to note -- still a good show. Also, I do think TH and YR are way cuter together. God Eric can pull any character off. Even next to the (usually) sociopathic-adjacent levels of angelic that HJ boasts, Eric's magnetism still keeps you looking back at TH every minute. (And, you know, the writing and characterization, obviously...) Still, Eric -- bravo, man.
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