Discovery of Romance: Episode 12
by dramallama
The process of letting go is slow and painful, and it’s even more heartbreaking for Tae-ha, who’s going out of his way to help his past lover find her own happiness. It’s a noble gesture and one that tugs at the heartstrings, but the clock is ticking. He’s only got so much time to decide what’s best for his own happiness. And he may not think so, but he deserves that happiness as much as anyone else.
EPISODE 12: “The day the words ‘I love you’ touched my heart…”
Ha-jin wakes up and finds that Yeo-reum is missing. He tries calling her and Sol, but he’s unable to reach them. He narrates, “I don’t know why, but suddenly I thought of Kang Tae-ha.” He grabs her cardigan and immediately goes outside to look for her.
Frantically searching, Ha-jin thinks to himself, “I had always trusted Yeo-reum. Thinking back, I wonder how I was able to trust her to that extent. I felt that trust quickly turning into anxiety, and I wondered how my feelings could change so dramatically without a moment’s notice. Amid these thoughts, I saw them…” He sees them kissing… but then it turns out to be a different couple, and he continues on his way, nearly crying from relief.
He finds them, and this is where we left off, with Ha-jin witnessing Tae-ha about to comfort a crying Yeo-reum. He thinks back to Tae-ha’s vague replies about his relationship with Yeo-reum. Walking towards them, he admits to us that the vagueness gave him a bad feeling about these two. He interrupts them just before Tae-ha can reach out to her, and glares at Tae-ha before leading Yeo-reum away.
But Tae-ha calls out to Yeo-reum using honorifics and finishes their conversation as if they had been talking about work. He says he’s disappointed in her lack of professionalism and her overemotional response to a business decision. He turns around and walks away from his noble cover-up while Yeo-reum remains speechless with tears brimming in her eyes.
Back inside, Ha-jin asks about her work with Tae-ha and cautiously requests that she stop working with him if possible. She apologizes and replies that she can’t. He nods in understanding and admits that he felt ridiculously anxious when she disappeared. Then he asks what upset her so much, as he’s never seen her cry that hard. But seeing that she’s not talking, Ha-jin decides that they should sleep on it.
Tae-ha returns to his room, and Director Yoon stumbles in asking why he was out so late. He comments on how Tae-ha’s not like his usual self nowadays; he’s lacking his malice. But Tae-ha’s mind is elsewhere, thinking about Yeo-reum’s confession that she’s been waiting for and expecting him. Turning to Yoon, he asks, “Hyung, I just heard something, and it was quite long. But I remember all of it. Every word, every breath, and the intonations. I remember every single thing. Strange, isn’t it?” But Yoon’s already fallen asleep.
Outside, Ha-jin drinks a beer alone, but he’s soon accompanied by Yeo-reum. She leans on his shoulder and asks why he doesn’t ask her about earlier. On days like this, she wishes that he would press her for answers, but he always falls short of pushing for them. He answers with a pitiful yet true response: “It’s because I like you more. Our relationship is not equally balanced. I like you more. There are times that I want to fight and question you, but do you know why I let them slide? If I don’t, I feel like we’d break up and our relationship would reach its end.”
Yeo-reum gets off his shoulder and stares at him as he continues. He tells her that he hates that feeling — always having to lose to prevent their break-up. All she can do is apologize, but he says he needs words other than an apology. Giving him a hug, Yeo-reum says that she loves him, ending the bittersweet night on a sweeter note.
The next morning, Sol approaches Tae-ha with an intuitive guess behind her missed call from Ha-jin last night: Yeo-reum must’ve disappeared last night and Tae-ha must know something. He says that he ran into her by coincidence, she cried, and Ha-jin saw her crying. All Sol needs to know for the sake of cover-up is that she was upset about work-related issues. Sol shakes her head at their complications: “Wouldn’t it be easier if we just eat when we’re hungry and sleep when were sleepy?” Exactly how I feel.
Sol catches Ha-jin and Yeo-reum as they’re leaving to catch the morning ferry and carefully analyzes their behavior. After a quick interaction, she determines that they’re fine and runs over to Tae-ha to point out the happy couple. He watches them leave with a dejected smile.
Mom finds the little soccer boy after practice and hands him a new pair of cleats. She claims that she happened to get a free pair which just happened to be his size. She assures him that he can accept the gift, so he happily takes it and runs off to brag to his friends. From behind, Producer Bae asks why Mom keeps visiting the boy and why she doesn’t hate him. Mom shrugs and says the kid isn’t to blame. Hmm, interesting.
As they continue walking, he asks if she’s thought about his proposal. She shakes her head and says she’s thought about it a hundred times but can’t imagine them dating. But he insists that thinking about it is the beginning. He reminds her that they’ve got half of their lives left; why not spend it together? Then he takes her hand and throws out a cheesy line about thinking in the now and only today. Mom’s not about that cheese and walks off, leaving him hanging.
They end up eating dinner, where Producer Bae continues to persuade her about dating. He says that the concept of friends dating isn’t a new one. “You eat your food. I eat my food. But I just add a side dish on your spoon, you eat it, and I’m content with that.” Mom smiles at his simplicity and continues to let him add side dishes onto her spoon. They’re cute.
Ha-jin helps out Yeo-reum at her workshop and they get into an obligatory coupley paint fight. They take a break for food, and Yeo-reum thinks back to Tae-ha’s advice to give Ha-jin a chance to understand her troubles. She starts the conversation by asking if he remembers his proposal (he adorably has her feel his racing heart at the mention of marriage) and explains that she held off on accepting it because she’s in debt — her student loans and other loans to repay to Mom.
She admits that she would’ve felt embarrassed telling him this a month ago, but now she feels comfortable and supported. He smiles but presses further, noting that she’s not saying anything about her father. Yeo-reum freezes, but Ha-jin tells her that they’ve done a lot today, so she can tell him next time. And he’ll tell her about himself next time as well. Baby steps.
After the work retreat, Sol comes to the office to discuss business at Tae-ha’s request, and Director Yoon swoons at her initiative to be there late at night. As they discuss the concept and interior aspect of the wine bar, Sol and Tae-ha get into an argument over design choices he swears he already told Yeo-reum about. Sol slams her laptop closed and demands that they go out for a drink, just the two of them — between people who could have been friends.
A couple drinks in, Sol complains to Tae-ha about excluding Yeo-reum from this business. She hates playing the middle person, relaying messages and arguments between the two. She assures him that Yeo-reum does not like him anymore and requests that he be cool about this whole thing. Now that she’s mentioned it, Tae-ha says that she’s not one to insist on being cool. It turns out, he was her drinking buddy when she had relationship problems and used to carry an extremely drunk Sol back home on multiple occasions since Joon-ho basically lived at the hospital then. Haha, they really could have been good friends.
With the petty arguments out of the way, Sol gets into some real talk: “Kang Tae-ha, do you know why I have complicated bad feelings about you? I really wanted you two to work out because your story wouldn’t have had a happily-ever-after fairytale ending. ‘The two fought, argued, misunderstood, were suspicious and disappointed in each other; yet, they still tried to be happy together.’ I wanted that ending, so that I could look at you two and wish for a true but realistic love for myself. But you ruined it and crushed my dreams.”
Sol says that even if she drinks until she drops, she’s not letting Tae-ha carry her home. Cut to: Tae-ha piggybacking drunk Sol home, complaining about how she gained weight over these past five years. HA.
Tae-ha stops at a convenience store for a break and an interview. He tells us that he was Yeo-reum’s boyfriend, not Sol’s, and he properly apologized to her. What he doesn’t understand is how girls think that their friends’ boyfriends are also their business. He points at Sol and accuses her of being the worst. Then he proceeds to carry her back home.
Joon-ho escorts Tae-ha as he piggybacks Sol into the room, and tenses up when she falls into his arms on her bed. Right as Tae-ha’s about to leave, Sol whacks him with a pillow and says that he’s the worst ex, as he still makes Yeo-reum cry. Yeo-reum listens from outside as Tae-ha accuses Joon-ho and Sol for being horrible friends. He ended his relationship with Yeo-reum, but as soon as he did, he lost their friendship as well. He walks out to Yeo-reum standing outside the room, and she offers to drive him home.
In the car, they both think about the previous night when Yeo-reum broke down in tears. She assumes that he knows that she didn’t mean it entirely, and she’s right. He thinks about the night and assumes that if she’d meant it entirely, she would have returned to him. Yeo-reum starts the conversation by saying that she can’t conduct business in this uncomfortable manner.
Then they’re interrupted by a call from Ha-jin, and Tae-ha puts the phone on speaker for her, ignoring her protests. Yeo-reum lies that she’s home, and Ha-jin starts up an uncomfortable conversation about a proper proposal. She answers to his requests, but her mind is on Tae-ha. That’s enough distraction to get her sidetracked from driving, causing Tae-ha to yell about the upcoming red light.
Of course, Ha-jin catches on — Yeo-reum lied and is with Tae-ha right now. She explains the situation, but he’s annoyed that she keeps lying to him. After hanging up, she looks at Tae-ha apologetically, but he avoids eye contact.
Ha-jin broods through the night, thinking about Yeo-reum’s lies while looking at his proposal ring. When he gets a goodnight message from her about getting back safely, he can’t bring himself to reply.
The next morning, Joon-ho looks at Sol’s two dying plants from the Twelves and shakes his head. He says that some Twelves aren’t meant to be. When Sol walks over, he tells her that he’s got just the thing for her — something that doesn’t wither or rot. Covering her eyes, he leads her to the bathroom to give her… surprise! A self-flushing toilet just for her whenever she poops! Bwahaha.
Sol starts to tear up in anger, which Joon-ho mistakenly thinks as her being moved by his grand gesture. She beats him up and yells that he really doesn’t know women. Yeo-reum arrives just as Sol storms off in disappointment and is delighted at the new toilet contraption. That’s the reaction he wanted, just from the wrong person.
Ha-jin researches overseas opportunities for Ah-rim and lets her know that he’ll leave the files at his office. He also asks her to think again about getting surgery for the scar on her arm.
Ha-jin gets a text from Yeo-reum saying that she’s prepared the flowers for tonight — the proposal night. She walks around his place looking for a vase for the flowers, and she happens to find the framed picture of Ha-jin and Ah-rim (she doesn’t know the girl is Ah-rim yet). Suddenly, his mother approaches her from behind, here to drop off side dishes, and sees that Yeo-reum’s holding the picture. Her secret threatened, his mother overreacts to her being in the house and grabs the picture from her.
As expected, Ha-jin’s mother comes into his office to confront him about the picture. She asks him to stop being so stubborn, but he replies that he’s not being stubborn — he’s waiting for her permission. “I want to tell someone my story. Whenever I’m asked about my childhood, I force a smile, but I have a hard time breathing. Living with a different name has had its ups and downs, but I don’t have anyone to share my pain with. Not one person. That’s what I want to do with Yeo-reum.” He tells his mother that he’ll wait until she gives her approval to tell Yeo-reum. And in tears, his mother approves.
At the same time, Ah-rim picks up the files from the hospital, and Ha-jin’s mother bumps into someone as she leaves. The picture flies out of her bag, right in front of Ah-rim, and she stares at it in shock. Ha-jin’s mother grabs the picture from her, and Ah-rim confirms with Joon-ho who that woman was. The pieces are coming together.
She tries to distract herself with work, but all she can think about is her interactions with Ha-jin. Her legs give out as she finally accepts the facts on who Ha-jin really is. Trembling with shock, she tells us that she thought she’d recognize him right away, but she had no idea.
At work, Yeo-reum touches up her makeup in preparation for her big day, and Tae-ha realizes that today’s the day. He notices her waiting at the curb, so he offers to drive her, knowing where she’s headed. When they arrive, she quickly thanks him before she leaves, and he silently watches her walking away from him.
As Yeo-reum approaches the building, she notices Ah-rim standing there. She’s angered that they keep running into each other and clarifies that Ha-jin has no feelings for her. He’s just a kind person doing nice things for her.
Ah-rim acknowledges this but also challenges her: “Are you saying he’s just acting out of sympathy? You’re right, but why do I have to hear those words from you? Even if it’s sympathizing, it’s between him and me. If you knew that it was out of sympathy, and you still aren’t trusting your boyfriend, why don’t you try being an orphan? You lead your own life, and I lead mine, but think about how your words would sound in my shoes.” Oof. Ah-rim walks away in tears, leaving Yeo-reum confused and regretful.
Yeo-reum arrives at Ha-jin’s place, her mood significantly cast down. He doesn’t seem to notice, as he welcomes her in and pours the wine. But she looks at everything set up and can’t go on like this. “I met Ah-rim outside. I don’t know if this is your method, but it’s not mine. I can’t sit here like nothing’s happened.” He tries to get an explanation, but she cuts him off and heads out.
Ha-jin follows her and asks why it’s okay for her but not for him. “I trust and wait for you, but why can’t you do either? I don’t understand why you have so many coincidences with Kang Tae-ha, but I still trust you. But how can you not trust me even for a moment? I promised I would tell you, and you can’t even wait for that. Is this all I am to you? If you’re going to be like this, then don’t tell me you love me. You’ve never been sincere to me; you don’t know love.” Then he immediately apologizes for his harsh words and asks her to sit down.
But Yeo-reum’s definitely not in the mood. He follows her, but she’s set on leaving. “I’m me and you’re you. We’re completely different people. I can’t do this today.” With that, she walks out.
Ha-jin sits down with the ring, reflecting in tears. “There were moments that I shouldn’t have lost because they don’t come back. I’ve lost all my chances to tell her the truth.” Hoping for one more chance, Ha-jin rushes out. Just as he turns the corner, he stops. Thankfully, he finds Yeo-reum right outside, crouching down in tears. She apologizes, and he pulls her into an embrace.
Meanwhile, Tae-ha broods over his own rings — the ones he never got the chance to give to Yeo-reum. He thinks back to drunk Sol’s vision for him and Yeo-reum, now just an unfulfilled wish. “That ending probably doesn’t exist anymore. If we wanted that ending to come true, we had to remain hand-in-hand through the hardest times. But we didn’t. We both let go.”
Back to our couple, we see that Yeo-reum has accepted Ha-jin’s proposal ring. He asks her why she didn’t leave, and she replies that it was the painful thought of him sitting alone in misery. She says the simple yet key words, “I love you,” and he’s clearly touched. He admits that this is the first time he’s felt the true meaning of those words, even though she’s told him many times before. They pull each other into a hug, grateful to have overcome their crisis.
Tae-ha looks at his rings as a tear begins to fall. “Now the hand that Yeo-reum needs to hold onto is no longer mine, but someone else’s.”
COMMENTS
I just want to give Tae-ha a big hug and tell him that everything will pass. He’s been through a lot these past episodes, and we’ve seen some exceptional growth from him. He’s given us a better understanding of what the break-up was like from his perspective, which is something we really didn’t get until now. He came off as a little cocky and vain from the start, so I did expect him to outgrow that phase, but boy, this is something else. I love seeing such rich emotion from such a commonplace drama theme like dating, especially from the guy’s side. It’s not often that we see our men bawling or just letting the tears fall. It’s nice to see that the drama is showcasing these emotions because they sure do add more dimension to the show. Tae-ha’s character arc is probably the most interesting and rewarding of the three leads, and I’m excited to see it through until the end. Eric’s face and eyes tell it all, and I just want moarrr.
Though I’m not completely on their ship, our current couple made some significant improvements in this episode. I honestly wasn’t expecting any improvements, given how dysfunctional these two are. The communication has always been off, and deception had become a natural part of the relationship. Plagued with these two elements, I was sure that it was only downhill from there, but they pleasantly surprised me. It’s almost a miracle that Yeo-reum and Ha-jin managed to salvage themselves from a sunken ship, but I’m glad they showed us that they did work in some respects. They care enough for each other to keep afloat, but again, I wonder how long they can keep this up while keeping their secrets. To be fair, Ha-jin was prepared to tell her the truth about his past. The issue is whether or not Yeo-reum is ready to be completely honest to Ha-jin and herself.
Personally, I wasn’t a big fan of Ha-jin in this episode. While he’s always sweet and actually kind of perfect, he’s quite incompetent with this whole relationship thing. He did have some good moments, especially when he openly recognized the disadvantage he was at by liking Yeo-reum more than she did him. But the part when Yeo-reum opens up to him about waiting on marriage because of her debt… I thought the way he handled that conversation was sort of elementary. I get that he was taking baby steps before reaching a deeper understanding with Yeo-reum, but it seemed too structured like, Okay good work today, next session we’ll go further! Yay! It’s cute, but I’m not sure it works that way.
Though Yeo-reum didn’t get much of a spotlight, I just want to comment on her merits as the heroine. She’s no Candy and definitely no damsel in distress, but she’s not some despicable character either. She portrays a very realistic heroine, one with critical flaws as well as admirable and redeeming qualities. She’s ruthless when it comes to her pride, yet she knows when she’s done wrong. Manipulative, yet candid. And she’s expressing her struggle between these two men quite well. One person will guarantee her happiness because he loves her more than she will ever love him. The other person will guarantee quarrels but understands her more than anyone else ever will. Both appeal to her, and she’s yet to determine which is more important to her.
As for me, I’ve got to go with Sol’s vision for Tae-ha and Yeo-reum. They would in no way be like a typical storybook ending, but it would be a messy and realistic story of finding happiness together. And in the end, that’s what actually matters: being happy together. Tae-ha knows that Yeo-reum’s got another hand to hold onto now, but I hope he finds it in him to reach out for her hand again and give her a reason to never let go.
RELATED POSTS
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 11
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 10
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 9
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 8
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 7
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 6
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 5
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 4
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 3
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 2
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 1
Tags: Discovery of Romance, Eric, featured, Jung Yumi, Sung Joon
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1 Neha
September 26, 2014 at 9:15 AM
This is one show that isn't disappointing me at all. Though I'm not sure how/if Tae Ha and Yeo Rum are going to get together at this point, I think I could still take it if they didn't.
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2 Lady Gaga
September 26, 2014 at 9:15 AM
Tae Ha oppa……You can come to me anytime you want….TT…TT…*sobs…sobs….
How can they always treat Tae Ha so bad this 12 episodes??? Everyone always blame him if something happen with YR... Why no one in this drama give him any credits???? I hope he'll find happiness at the end. He no criminal, why they treat him so bad….huaaa……huaaa……..(But at least he still has lovely hyung who'll babysit and feeding him with rice and seaweed…XD)
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3 Sammy
September 26, 2014 at 9:28 AM
This show is turning into a Ha Jin-Yeo Reum romance more than a Tae Ha-Yeo Reum romance at this point.
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bleefied
September 26, 2014 at 9:53 AM
I feel like at this point, it seems a bit impossible for Tae Ha and Yeo Reum to get back together.
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Carlos
September 26, 2014 at 11:51 AM
I'm already predicting that Ha Jin will found out that Tae Ha and Yeorum dated during the time that Ah Na Rim confesses her feelings to him thus completely doubting himself and breaks up with Yeorum.
As much as I hate that to happen because I'm leaning on HaJin and Yeorum ending up together [now that the show is progressing on how they started to communicate their feelings better] Eric is still the lead and I doubt that they will leave him loveless in the finale.
I really hope that the relationship of Hajin and Yeorum improves throughout the remainder of the series [I doubt it but I'm hoping that will be the course of the writer], i still think that Tae Ha is in the wrong for pursuing someone who is already in a relationship (engaged even), granted the relationship of Hajin and Yeorum is not perfect but they do "love" each other. Also Tae Ha had Yeorum during her best and blew it up, Ha Jin on the other hand, started with her during her worst times.
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4 krikkrikkrik
September 26, 2014 at 9:35 AM
Wow. I didn't expect them to be engaged in this episode. Like dramallama said, yeo rum and hajin has a dysfunctional relationship. They didn't tell each other biggest secret before deciding to be engaged. I am also interested liks you to see how long they will be able to keep the secret. And after they have told the secret, how much are they willing to accept or tolerate? Will they be able to accept and understand each other? Or will it destroy them? When hajin finds out, will he be able to act cool bout yeo rum and tae ha? Can yeo rum really accept the truth about ha jin not just saying that she can but the truth that she couldn't? They're a lot of things that I want to know from this drama. Hahahahaha. A lot of questions to be answered in the future episodes :D
P/s: eric's acting is daebak :D
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harmonyfb
September 26, 2014 at 10:41 AM
Or will it destroy them?
I'm guessing that the keepsake box under the bed will wind up being the trigger that blows YR and HJ's relationship up.
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owl 🦉 🫰
September 26, 2014 at 11:37 AM
The engagement to Ha-jin feels like a band-aid on the re-opened wound of Yeo-reum's break-up and 5 year's later break-up with Tae-ha. I really really want Yeo-reum to be fair to herself by finding out what her feelings really are and facing them which will ultimately result in her being honest with Ha-jin.
Here's what pisses me off about Tae-ha: he is beating himself up over not responding and giving proper attention to Yeo-reum when she needed him because of her father's traumatic death, and now that he found that out, he's sorry. But the fact that he didn't return her calls or go to her when he didn't know the reason is NOT okay with me. he didn't go to her because he didn't want to. Period.
Also, I don't weigh not revealing Ha-jin's connection with Ah-rim as heavily as heavily at all as Tae-ha and Yeo Reum's past romantic relationship. Ha-jin is just discovered that Ah-rim is his "sister" from the orphanage, but Tae-ha and Yeo-reum are hiding their past relationship from Ha-jin (who is the only one in the entire show just about who doesn't know this). If anyone has even heard of the saying, "Honesty is the best policy" they certainly make an exception to that in their own lives. At this point, I really hate all the lies. And cover-ups. And where is a friend who says go with the truth - clear this up because then and only then can you all move forward?
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selina
September 26, 2014 at 5:37 PM
my thoughts exactly
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Maria
September 26, 2014 at 7:20 PM
He didn't go to her cos at that point of his life he was trying to prove himself at his father's company. So many things were happening to him at that point. I can empathise with a young man trying to build up a career, and working very hard. That's real life.
The question is, why couldn't she just say, "My father has passed away. I need you here with me." No need to say more.
Eric Mun is definitely a stand out in this show.
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Larissa
September 26, 2014 at 8:08 PM
Agree with you.
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5 Mrs. Jang guem suk
September 26, 2014 at 9:38 AM
I'm so done show. How is it that YR is always on Hanjin 4 not telling her something but yet she hasn't told him that Taeha is her EX. Maybe the writers are going to make that issue a Breaking point when he finds out. I just feel bad for Hanjin and thinks he deserves to be told.
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SaraLee
September 26, 2014 at 10:51 AM
I totally agree with you here! It's hard for me to empathize with her when she keeps being this way!! Can we talk about emotional cheating here? I don't think she should be with or deserve to be with either HJ or KTH at this point.
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Ladytron33
September 26, 2014 at 12:46 PM
+1
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Aigoooo
September 26, 2014 at 1:08 PM
This is the reason why I dropped the show and just occasionally read the recaps now. The show revolves around YR and yet I can't bring myself to root for her due to her hypocritical nature.
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Sue
September 26, 2014 at 1:56 PM
Ditto
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 3:09 PM
<How is it that YR is always on Hanjin 4 not telling her something but yet she hasn’t told him that Taeha is her EX.
THAT!
All the chances she had in this episode, that she chose not to take. I can only conclude she doesn't want a sincere relationship with Hajin, one where you show your weakest side to the other person and they like you regardless...
I guess Hajin isn't telling her something either, but it doesn't bother me quite so much. In part because he isn't being hypocritical about it in the way she is. And maybe also because I know that adoption is a big taboo in Korean society, while YR's hang-up is just her own personal little thing that she just can't be honest about because????
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6 Ramsha
September 26, 2014 at 9:53 AM
Glad someone gets it because i honestly don't. And I actually DO find Yeo-reum despicable. I don't know if her kind works with men but she's(her character, i mean) a total snob from a girl's perspective.
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Ladytron33
September 26, 2014 at 12:53 PM
Very much agreed! She's one of my least favorite female leads ever, behind only Jung Yi-Hyun from "Birth Secret." I'm not sure if it's the portrayal or the writing, but she just comes across as a selfish, not nice person.
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bd5
September 26, 2014 at 1:38 PM
Yes, YR has her issues, but at the same time, YR always defended HJ when TH made condescending remarks about JH whereas HJ would let AR's condescending remarks about YR pass.
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me2
September 27, 2014 at 12:13 PM
agree! another thing, HJ ditched YR 3 times since he met AR. First was the kimbap date; he didn't answer YR's calls even when He knows that he made a date with YR the night before; next was the showdown between the 4 of them, he went after AR instead of staying to explain to YR; and the third was the drive to the orphanage, he chose go on the drive instead of going on a date with HR. Maybe HJ has'nt realized it yet but his actions are saying it all (he likes AR more than YR)
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7 samsooki
September 26, 2014 at 9:54 AM
I am confused by this episode.
Wait, no I am not confused. I thought I was confused but I don't think I am confused. I think HYR is confused, and I was getting confused because I was thinking in her point of view.
Question: why did HYR wear the engagement ring that NHJ offered to HYR?
Answer: She wore the ring for the same reason she didn't leave. This is who HYR has left in her life. KTH is gone from her life, and even though it seems like NHJ is forcing the issue, HYR is an adult and can make her own decisions. She put on the ring, she said yes. It is her decision, even if she is misunderstanding her own heart.
THEN AGAIN:
1. Okay, I get it. HYR loves KTH and KTH loves HYR. I know this. The audience knows this. HYR also "loves????" NHJ, but that "love" is based on... what, exactly? Their ease and "like" for each other? Mostly based on NHJ's love for HYR? Does HYR REALLY really REALLY love NHJ? If not, then why did she say it? If she meant it, then KTH is not the one for her, unless she has a dual personality disorder or something.
But, but, but but... but see, if KTH had never reappeared, then wouldn't HYR have married NHJ without regret or hesitation? I guess so, but I guess we don't know what we don't know until we know?
2. NHJ is really, really really on thin ice here. He is willing to accept HYR as she is, but that's because he really loves her, even if she may not really truly outrageously love NHJ back? I don't get NHJ - he's smart enough to figure it all out by now, and the fact that he's ignoring what he already has figured out means that HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL BE ASKING FOR THE RING BACK.
Interesting analysis, I guess we will have to wait to find out.
Oh, and two thumbs for the MNIKSS homage with the red light - caught in the act - lying by omission.
=)
Thank you DramaLLama!!!
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bbstl 🧹
September 26, 2014 at 1:38 PM
:) as soon as TH made her answer the phone in the car I thought noooo! haven't you seen Kim Sam Soon???
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samsooki
September 27, 2014 at 2:27 PM
LOL.
OR, more likely, they did in fact see it. :)
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nomad
September 27, 2014 at 5:53 AM
I've always thought it possible to "love" more than one person at the same time, not that makes it okay...but it's possible nevertheless. So...in that regard, I think HYR meant that she loved HJ. Yes, she also loves KTH. Why did she accept the ring? Cause she's loved someone more before, and knew how much it hurt when he left. Thus, I would argue she wants to feel "safe". Where she'd love, just enough to not get hurt.
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8 Amanda
September 26, 2014 at 9:55 AM
I am 900% done with this show. Why/How the fuck did the two get engaged???? YR NEEDS TO BE WITH TAEHA, STAT. I am done with this show if Eric doesn't get any love in the next ep. UGH
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owl 🦉 🫰
September 26, 2014 at 11:41 AM
Both guys have the same ring box, and both open and stare at in in the dark when they are alone with their regrets. Poor pathetic fools.
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bbstl 🧹
September 26, 2014 at 1:32 PM
I think the box colors are reversed: TH has a white box w aqua ribbon and HJ's is an aqua box w white ribbon. I thought that was a nice detail.
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Phi
September 26, 2014 at 8:46 PM
hah, some one also notice that little detail. May be just me but box & the ribbon color are the exact reversed is very symbolic. Nice details indeed.
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9 whilethemusiclasts
September 26, 2014 at 9:55 AM
Eric is awesome. That's it. That's the show.
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10 Cheesy
September 26, 2014 at 10:10 AM
They may be engaged right now but I got a feeling that the YR-HJ love will crumble as soon as HJ sees that photo box under YR's bed!
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11 Sandra
September 26, 2014 at 10:15 AM
(SPOILER) from preview ep. 13. It seems YR-TH will spend night together for sharing their past memories during drunk. I got feeling, at this time, Ha Jin would know their past relationship and all of his confusion about this two.
p/s. Tae Ha, don't worry everything will be ok soon… Hang on a little bit there….Agree with Dramallama, you deserve happiness at the end..TT..TT
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12 corgi
September 26, 2014 at 10:22 AM
I am so frustrated by this episode!
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13 gustave154
September 26, 2014 at 10:44 AM
Please drama writers let Tae-Ha get the girl. I don't care if its unrealistic or too late please just make it happen.
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14 Hipployta
September 26, 2014 at 10:47 AM
I kind of want Hajin to escape the situation and for everyone to seek therapy
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owl 🦉 🫰
September 26, 2014 at 11:52 AM
No kidding. And not group therapy, either.
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 4:06 PM
Yup.
It occurred to me in this episode when YR once again decides not to tell him anything except 'I can't tell you' but then has a go at him about no telling her anything that HJ should have just left the whole mess behind. He's got his flaws too but at least he trusts her, while she has zero trust in him (and if you don't have trust, you never will).
YR shouldn't be with either of these two guys.
HJ deserves someone who actually wants a sincere relationship with him, and Taeha is just too late and would do better to move on.
Therapy would not be amiss either.
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Maria
September 26, 2014 at 7:27 PM
They do need the team from It's Ok It's Love to fix them up!
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selina
September 26, 2014 at 5:33 PM
Yes. I so want Ha Jin to dump Yeo Reum because I think he deserves much better from and in a relationship than to be Yeo Reum with TH five years ago 2.0.
I felt so bad for him when he explained all his insecurities and even worse when he said ep 12's I love you was the first time he ever felt like she could truly mean it. All of this makes me wonder why the hell he would still want to date her let alone marry her. I mean he is feeling like this without knowing her history with TH, imagine how much worse it will be when he finds out and comes to see she put her whatever she does feel for TH over him (YR totally could have quit like asked. She doesn't have to physical be in the office. She could continue let Sol manage things or they could continue with their phone conference).
People act like it has to be one or the other. But I think you can be loved and be in love. Both Yeo Reum and Ha Jin can find the security, reliance, comfortableness, etc etc they have in their current relationship with each other and the passionate love YR had/s with TH, just not with each other. I honestly feel HJ deserves to be in a relationship where he knows he is on equal footing both in the love and emotional aspects. A relationship where he doesn't have to be so cautious, and so understanding, and allowing, all in fear that if he steps out of line he will loose the other person just like that *snaps fingers*
Yeo Reum gets a lot out of their relationship but I don't see the whole lot that she gives him and I think his desperation to ignore so much and hold on to her has a lot to do with his being an orphan and this being his first real adult relationship. I just want to shake him and be like boy there is better out there and you deserve to have it. I mean if it wasn't acceptable for Yeo Reum to stay in a relationship where she felt like this five years ago (and rightfully broke up with the TH of then), why do so many want Ha Jin to be stuck in the same type of relationship and its dynamic?
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Larissa
September 26, 2014 at 7:21 PM
Personally I always think Ha Jin doesn't wanna know (ask) YR's personal life seriously. The reason, as he told in this episode, if he found something strange and they fight, they'll break up. If he really wanna know about Kang Tae Ha which makes him so curious to dead,there are many ways to get informations about them (for examples, from her mom, pay detective ??? XD…and so on…). He's smart, it's easy for him to know it within a short time. So, if he still clueless about Th-YR till now, I could blame himself instead. And the more strange thing is, he insist to marry her even though he feels YR never love him sincerely. So, I guess love makes him blind, and doesn't care about anything else except just making sure YR would never leave him (which I found it's kind of immature and could hurt himself).
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 11:00 PM
I kind of agree.
He's lacking confidence and self-worth here. Essentially it's some sort of growing up he needs to do. It might just take him some while, which I understand too, because sometimes you just keep being hoping and hoping, but really he needs to realise that this uneven balance in the relationship and YR's repeatedly demonstrated unwillingness to open up even when he's given all the chances is ultimately going to make their relationship a failure. He needs to walk out, because he deserves someone who loves him just as much and who trusts him and tells him things that he should know.
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selina
September 27, 2014 at 7:31 PM
mte!
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15 whatsthescenario
September 26, 2014 at 10:59 AM
Sorry. I said it last week and will say again. YR is a bitch. She is a despicable woman for how she is treating HJ.
That is all.
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samsooki
September 26, 2014 at 11:09 AM
Just out of curiosity:
What exactly did HYR do wrong? Are you talking about not telling the truth about things that mean less than a hill of beans? Or are you talking about the times that HYR didn't just swallow and be silent about the fact that NHJ was lying about things?
And bluntly, when said in a matter-of-fact manner as a description of a woman, I really loathe when people call a woman a "bitch." The term is loathesome because it contains a gender-specific connotation that denigrates all women, and not just the one you are targeting. Obviously much depends on the context, and there are times and places when such speech is acceptable by context alone, but even then it should be used sparingly.
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whatsthescenario
September 26, 2014 at 2:04 PM
I'm talking about her railing on HJ because he won't just "let her win". The one time he had the fall to stand up to her , she crumbles and accused him that he doesn't truly love her. That is manipulative, especially knowing how insecure he is already feeling about their relationship.
I'm talking about how she is constantly denigrating AR for being a person that is pitiful and has come to rely on someone's help. Like Ah Rim said, it is just sympathy and HJ pities her( yes, the situation is of his own doing) but why should she have to hear it from a gf. She acknowledges she is receiving charity but YR constantly belittles her for it.
She's a hypocrite for not telling HJ what TH really means to her and the role he played in her life. It's not just a hill of beans, otherwise she wouldn't be so stuck or swayed by him.
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poorbunny23
September 26, 2014 at 3:10 PM
I agree!!!
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selina
September 26, 2014 at 5:37 PM
I don't think she's a bitch but I agree about he unfair treatment of Ha Jin. She demands and expects out of him things in their relationship which she doesn't demand or expect out of herself and that is so wrong and unfair to Ha Jin. I seriously cannot understand why with the way he feels in their relationship he still dates her, let alone wants to marry her. He's an idiot who brings on to himself so if she's in the wrong then so is he for knowingly allowing it all out of fear he will loose her (which would be a blessing to him imho).
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Carlos
September 26, 2014 at 5:37 PM
Yeorum is just being a girlfriend who is angered by how Ah Na rim keeps pursuing Hajin. It was partly Ah Na rim's fault that Yeorum keeps "misinterpreting" the relationship of the "siblings", she continues to "bug" Hajin even though she knew that she is causing friction in a relationship. Yeorum is a bitch but she acknowledges that fact, Ah Na rim on the other hand is worst because she is the biggest hypocrite on the show. Yeorum has a right to warn ANR to stay away from his boyfriend while ANR, the hypocrite that she is, keeps playing the victim. Just because she had a tough life doesn't mean her opinions are always correct.
Why did she get mad at Yeorum? Yeorum did not belittle ANR, she just told her to not get her hopes up. It was ANR who victimises herself and started spewing nonsense, just because she got mad at Yeorum for pouring the cold water on her and the reality that Ha Jin does not "like" her (though still believe that the siblings will get together in the end which sucks because ANR does not deserve any happy ending).
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aisuzieya
September 29, 2014 at 8:22 AM
ergh(cringing cuz the girl got on my nerves sometimes with her conceitedness). i agree with every word u said. I dont want to complain abt the same thing again and again every episode, but the attitude Ah-rim gave YR during their little confrontation in front of HJ's place made my blood boils. I rather deal with 100 unapologetic bitches like YR rather than a passive aggressive bitch like AR.
poorbunny23
September 26, 2014 at 3:13 PM
Or perhaps the term should not be used at all if it is offensive regardless of the context?
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bd5
September 26, 2014 at 1:40 PM
So who is the "b!tch" when YR defends HJ when TH makes derogatory comments and HJ doesn't reciprocate when AR makes negative comments YR?
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16 rainerust
September 26, 2014 at 11:08 AM
I just couldn't even...at this point, all I'm watching the show for is Eric and those mournful soulful eyes. His eyes are super captivating. The last two episodes just made me even more resolute that I'm on TH's ship, whether or not YR is on it. If it sinks, Imma gonna be sinking with that gorgeous man. I have serious trouble figuring out how to prevent this ship from sinking at this pion given that YR and HJ seemed to skated past a fairly perilous part of their relationship and are fine (and even sweeter with each other).
The other thing that sustains me is watching Sol and JH interact with each other HAHA! The part that he installed a new bidet? Slayed me. Although Sol's huffy reactions clearly show (to me) a deeper desire that she wishes he could see her as a woman and treat her accordingly (hence liking the flowers) without quite realizing that JH is actually being more thoughtful and considerate in his own way by showing that he knows what she really wants.
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samsooki
September 26, 2014 at 11:12 AM
LOL.
Personally, if someone gave me an auto-flusher for my bathroom toilet, I would be touched. I remember the time in college when I forgot and my roommate got really mad. Having an autoflusher would have saved me embarrassment!
Not really romantic in and of itself, but isn't everything context?
Would you rather get flowers from a guy you didn't like, or an auto-flusher from a guy you did?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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rainerust
September 26, 2014 at 11:33 AM
I'd go with the bidet (because I can truly appreciate how much comfort it would bring me) but I guess if she likes him and thinks he's not seeing her as a woman (because it's not the typical gift a woman gets) she might get really upset. But damn, woman, a bidet! I'd totally be delighted if a guy I liked helped install a bidet in MY toilet. Anytime now....
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rainerust
September 26, 2014 at 11:37 AM
And also wow I really haven't seen you comment for a while Samsooki! Lol although that may just be due to the fact that I've been so busy I haven't been keeping up with kdramas as I should (sigh). It's nice to see you around!! I still remember the recaps you wrote...those were the days man...
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samsooki
September 26, 2014 at 12:35 PM
I'm a civilian now!
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Maria
September 26, 2014 at 7:33 PM
You're a witty civilian. Keep your input coming.
gaeinalee
September 27, 2014 at 7:40 AM
When I read your 1st comment above, my mind went wondering "Is it Samsooki, The Samsooki I know (by name only)?". then I reached this part and got the answer.. It's been a long time indeed!
Civilian or no, love to read your thoughts and comment dear!
harmonyfb
September 27, 2014 at 11:06 AM
I think I would be....well, confused by the auto-flusher. I mean, what is he trying to say, there? That I don't flush? That he pays waaaay too much attention to my bowel movements? That he has an anal fixation, what?
And it was the big "surprise gift' buildup that was the icing on the weird gift cake. "I know what you REALLY want"...a poop-flusher! Um...thanks? I...guess?
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Kandiboo
September 27, 2014 at 11:48 AM
Men and their practicalities.
well, actually for one of my birthdays my husband gifted me with a set of discounted (and very good) set of kitchen knives. He was so excited about the wonderful find and went on for quite a while about how he braved the department store megasale crowd to hunt down the knives. Haha, the next part of the story is of course, I proceed to cut myself with the knife and cursed him to no end for getting me a gift like that.
I think men prefer to receive "useful" gifts and they don't see a problem in getting you the stuff that you have always been looking out for (the vacuum cleaner! a new blender! a bigger wine fridge?) instead of accessories that usual women view as gifts suitable for surprises, anniversaries and birthday.
so I would think that at least you get to use the potty and poop flusher > once per day (cost effective!) and it's not even a birthday present! YAY!
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harmonyfb
September 28, 2014 at 7:13 AM
I love practical gifts (our first holiday together, my hubby and I gave each other a coffee maker and flannel sheets), but an automated poop flusher? Um...that seems to indicate an unhealthy interest in one's toilet routine. ::laugh::
samsooki
September 29, 2014 at 7:54 AM
harmonyb:
fyi, Yoon Sol has been leaving floaties.
The autoflusher saves Yoon Sol future embarrassment.
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Sandra
September 26, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Totally agree. Yoon Sol saves this drama with her comedy antics and 12 club guys. I always enjoy her scenes more than YR's lovey dove-teary scenes which I found hypocrite. Yoon Sol has chemistry with all her 12-guys (Joon Ho, Director Yoon and Eun Gyu), oh…wait…even Kang Tae Ha. The scene when Tae Ha piggy back her was totally most adorable scene in this episode. I can't imagine how mess it would be if Joon Ho, Yoon Sol, Tae Ha and Director Yoon have party and drunk together…HAHA...
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nomad
September 27, 2014 at 6:07 AM
+1000000!
I've been watching this drama for her and her interactions. She's so much fun to watch. I hope the actress will get to be a lead in a comedy drama soon, she's hilarious! (I still remember when I first saw her as the editor in FBND)
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nomad
September 27, 2014 at 6:05 AM
I'm a woman, but I'd take anything that doesn't just wilt and die, anytime.
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17 mookie
September 26, 2014 at 11:18 AM
YR is a child of a dysfunctional marriage, yes a 20sth living with parents is still a child, heavily influenced by her parents. In the last days of her Dad, the strain was palpable for YR. I would guess it was infidelity from Dad (ie the soccer boy) then Mom out of revenge slept with PD ahjusshi... I doubt any of it fly by YR unnoticed. She would not allow herself dallying in any form of cheating, which her control was weakening and her outburst at 10 is a cry for help for these uncontrollable yearnings to stop. That is also why she might be overreacting (but imo not really) with HJ and AR. She has complained to KTH when they first met her Mom was not a constant in her life, perhaps too immersed in her work and in her pov her Mom neglected her.
As a victim of PTSD, she is still suffering from the trauma and beginning to heal, baby steps. She had apologized to Sol and JH but she had not even open up to them. She is craving for constants and stability in her life more than anything else and that is the void NHJ is filling.
So for her to drop this new anchor of stability in her life and take a leap of faith out of fluttering of her heart, his heart, longing yearning...all these intense intangible feelings of love, which dissipated even not hitting the 5 year mark back then, when they were so in love...is not making any sense to YR, nor TH either.
For HYR, love is now the will, the determination to hold on, stay in the relationship. even KTH is proving the point, no matter how much they went through, all the hurt and pain even breaking up for 5 years, he is back in her life, loving her. But he has given up on her, she has given up on him. She has NHJ now, whom is her best bet, shown to her at the most opportune time at the end of the episode to be there for her, holding onto her no matter what, no questions ask. That is what she needs. Her choice, very valid.
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:30 PM
+1! Very insightful mookie!
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Mianhe
September 26, 2014 at 8:24 PM
"For HYR, love is now the will, the determination to hold on, stay in the relationship."
What kind of relationship she wanna hold??? The relationship which just look sweet in the surface, where no one of them exactly knows each other?
In fact, I can't see how HYR really has 'a will' to hold her relationship. She didn't share anything to HJ till TH suggested her to do (remember YR-HJ scene in her studio). On the hand, HJ didn't tell about his past (ok, forget about his mom), but c'mon…this girl will be your future wife, she has the right to know who actually you are and they both can keep this secret without his mom knows, right?. And HJ is too afraid to ask something to YR because he worry they'll break up…(Loling of this reason…).
Both HJ-YR wanna hold this relationship because they just need accompanion to each other and not a true deep relationship. For me, their relationship just like sex partner rather than a soulmate, to whom you can share your best and worst moments in life.
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mookie
September 26, 2014 at 9:37 PM
It is not an equal relationship, not an ideal relationship, she is actually frank w HJ what he is getting, he is the one having the will to hold on as shown to her at the hallway, that's what i saw, because this guy never gives up on her, she has a determination to stay. She did not walk out because of AR, she worded it as she 'can't not do it' she can't love HJ like HJ loves her. Simple and fair. Love is unfair, it dies not matter what YR is unable to do as she demands HJ but if HJ is not meeting what she wants, she wants out, exactly HJ's fear . HJ made the choice to chase after her, she was crying over losing a nice guy she gets along with, is comfortable living with, she may not be certain she is ready to marry him, but she also regrets losing him in her life.
I don't get how it is funny why HJ not wanting to lose YR, always wants her by his side is laughably not!love. It is his free will, he is willing to compromise and even though it is not ideal, he'd weighed his options and still want her in his life. YR is not a witch, if just hanging out a wkend with her at her workshop put grins on his face, and makes him happy enough to let things slide, y cant if be love?! He is the judge.
I never said their relationship, the relationship they want to stay in is dreamy, deep, etc…, even if it is just sexual ( which i disagree coz i see them progressing, opening up, trying at being more honest and companionship is still a form of relationship) i see a will to hold onto each other and not want to give up. Whether their relationship is worthy according to you to worth a determination to stand by is out of the question.
I'd rather stop blaming YR she is not sharing every truth and fact about her life. She has said she'd rather keep things to herself, if that will bother her close ones, that's how she is treating Sol, JH her bff for decade+ , who she is now after the trauma. Again not saying it is perfect, but even not airing out her debts being the reason she was not ready did not drive HJ away.
This is an ep where TH has reentered her heart per the title of the ep and she is fighting against it. U were right, w/o the inner nudge by TH she wouldnt disclose, but again that has not been above the threshold HJ cant tolerate.
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Mianhe
September 26, 2014 at 10:42 PM
I understand and respect your opinion clearly. I just still confuse actually what the meaning of 'relationship' in YR's mind. Just feel comfortable or lovey dovey moments?? Until the last episode, what I see from her just she's too much comfortable with having HJ as her life partner and not her soulmate (the true meaning of relationship in my opinion). Same as HJ. If he really wanna know about TH, he can get informations from other sources. But..no..he didn't do that. Don't know because he's ignorant, doesn't care, or what....??? So, personally I think she's not the one who can said confidently about 'a will to hold a relationship' while she even still confuse about the meaning of it. It seems she doesn't wanna lose both, Nam ha Jin (a guy who can be with her in sweet moments) and Kang Tae Ha (the one who can be shared for worst time of her life). If she really wanna hold her relationship, we won't see her confession to TH, and she won't call him when she met him in Nami Island. She still loves TH but she act like he doesn't mean anything to him. What makes me feel bad for KTH is evertime YR cried, everyone will blame him (remember the scene when TH piggy back Sol to her home when she drunk). TH-YR can make 5 years of their relationship in younger age and struggling between love life and career, while YR-HJ in adult age with only 1 year shaking like anything just because of too much secret hidden. So, IMO, without YR realized it, TH is much better than HJ. But, I'm not saying YR should end up with TH, because TH deserves someone much better than her.
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mookie
September 27, 2014 at 10:56 AM
Not trying to be contrarian but when is relationship only defined as between soulmates and other forms of relationships not true?! That is why we have adjectives like physical, sexual...etc YR is not deliberately trying to shut HJ out, she was not ready to deal with the trauma of her Dad's death herself, let alone be open and calm enough to talk about it, she likes and wants where she is at with HJ. If it is just feeling comfortable with HJ, having lovey dovey moments, that's again her choice. She is now a jaded 30ish woman who perhaps wants to settle down in marriage and NHJ met a lot of her criteria in a husband. You may not think it is adequate, but again that's besides the point. She did not even want to date, meeting HJ on that blind date for Sol, it started as a physical attraction, and perhaps they just had a physical relationship, and for them progress to where they are at now in a year, with NHJ obviously loving her so much, it is enough for YR to have faith in them they will go far. That is what YR can operate on as I said she saw it in NHJ the determination to hold onto her in the relationship, and THEREFORE she does not want to let go of him and that in turn gave her a drive to stay in the relationship through thick and thin with NHJ. What part in that line of thought was she confused?! Because after her relationship with TH, she has concluded they failed because they did not hold on, not because of his neglect, her shutting down from the grieve, there are obstacles in live a couple has to overcome no matter and they gave up on each other when push comes to shove. She saw the opposite in NHJ just with his gesture of chasing after her because what she essentially said is she can not love him like he did, she turned down his proposal, she gave up on them...she lost faith in herself, but NHJ still did not even in the pain with the dejection he must be experiencing and on that merit alone, she can love this man and trust him to be her life partner.
NHJ did not want to know more about TH so it is not ignorant, nonchalance...nope. He got his stance across to TH and that was sufficient to him because he chooses to trust YR, he could go along with her explanations even if he still has an inner irking. Moreover, it's above me why the point of YR and TH are exes should be disclosed IF YR regarded TH out of her life, no non-factor in her relationship with HJ?! And it would only spiral HJ into jealousy and hurt them?! In reality the probability of us going back rekindling a romance with an ex is even less probably than we falling in love with another person considering how on how horrible terms they part ways.
Again no, her intention was never to want to keep both of them as romantic interest, she is sternly on NHJ is her bf now and if 11 is how we witnessed TH letting go of YR, 12 is how we witnessed YR letting go of TH. Her emotional outburst end of 11 is a confession but exactly to plea for help fr TH to be out...
mookie
September 27, 2014 at 10:58 AM
... but exactly to plea for help fr TH to be out of her life she is losing her control and it is eating her and that was what TH did the whole of 12.
You can still have feelings for another person and act the opposite WHEN you can not afford a relationship with him/her. Again may not be how you operate, but that is reality, feelings just have the element of beyond your conscious control, how we all wish there is and on off switch huh?!
If YR is still crying because of TH over the years, and he still gets the blame for it, that's just life. Even TH acknowledges under their circumstances then what hurt he instigated on YR, even beyond his awareness, is the damage he is manning up for it.
What you are pondering is exactly what is the current discussion: What is love?! Is it with a guy who is sweet and easy to be with, you like to be with, who would compromise for you no matter?! Or the guy whom you have uncontrollable feelings, whom you connect deepest, but you have no faith it could last?!
Aren't both of them different forms of genuine love?!
Kandiboo
September 26, 2014 at 10:51 PM
I suppose the reason why we are all riled up is because we can see some bits of each character in ourselves or people we know.
Nobody said love and relationship is perfect. People who truly love each other might not end up together in the end anyway due to various circumstances. So YR and TH may love or harbor residual feelings for each other but so what, they have now agreed and consciously moved on to the next stage. In fact I see TH progressing quicker and he was actively trying to break things off/avoid YR and lead her to HJ's direction.
Why are people so worked up about having TH pursue YR when HJ is there? Are everyone in a relationship automatically disqualified from having suitors? Granted, TH may have stepped over the line but he eventually rectified and withdrew to being a friend (or less).
YR has problems too, stemming from the hurt from her previous relationship so she did a 180 on HJ. Everybody has secrets and the problem is, the longer time goes by the more difficult it is to be honest. HJ should be smart enough to figure it out by now (banmal, arguing like they've known each other for a long time, messages, friendship with Sol/JH), I think he is not willing to ask directly and face the music.
HJ and AR - from a 3rd party perspective I would highly suspect that HJ was interested in AR, even after he knew that she was the dongsaeng he was looking for. Even if HJ repeatedly told YR that it was nothing I still wouldn't believe it (phone calls, messages, secret trips, dinner dates? same as YR and TH!). Why the double standard, only because AR is a "sister"? Both YR and AR don't know that info. And honestly AR knows that HJ has a girlfriend too, so whatever is said about TH going after YR can be said for AR/HJ too.
Lets just say that people get together and stay together for various reasons and it might not be the true, burning, passionate and flaming love of their life.
I'm interested in how this will play out.
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 11:12 PM
<Are everyone in a relationship automatically disqualified from having suitors?
In my book, yes. In a relationship = off the market. Doesn't matter if it's a recent relationship or they are married for 20 years.
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Kandiboo
September 26, 2014 at 11:18 PM
well well then, HJ was also giving off wrong vibes to AR. If I was AR I would totally think that Dr Nam was interested in me (even if he has a girlfriend).
although really, two wrongs don't make a right.
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 11:41 PM
Yes, HJ was giving off the wrong vibes and esp. after the confrontation with YR shouldn't have hung out with AR. AR is wrong to pursue HJ. And TH is wrong to pursue YR. And YR needs decide which guy she wants to be with (if any) and either break up with HJ or stay with him and open up about what she's hiding.
All the wrongs don't make anyone right.
18 samsooki
September 26, 2014 at 11:35 AM
"For HYR, love is now the will, the determination to hold on, stay in the relationship. even KTH is proving the point, no matter how much they went through, all the hurt and pain even breaking up for 5 years, he is back in her life, loving her. But he has given up on her, she has given up on him. She has NHJ now, whom is her best bet, shown to her at the most opportune time at the end of the episode to be there for her, holding onto her no matter what, no questions ask. That is what she needs. Her choice, very valid."
This.
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jandoe
September 27, 2014 at 12:23 AM
THIS. 100x.
(Just putting it out here that y'all should totally hop over to Mookie land and read her insights and take on episode 12: http://mookiehyun.wordpress.com/2014/09/25/discovery-of-love-12/ )
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19 bd5
September 26, 2014 at 1:46 PM
The ending fight btwn YR and HJ seemed a bit forced (yeah, I can see how bumping into AR would upset YR, but the magnitude of the fight was a bit much).
And the quick reconciliation/engagement seems a bit "off" as well - but I guess since this relationship is based on having things move smoothly (by not really addressing the deeper issues/secrets), seems fitting.
Ugh, why would TH put himself thru that TORTURE of driving YR to HJ's place knowing what he knows?
1st real inkling of Sol maybe looking at JH in a diff. light, but I much rather have them remain the bickering, best friendies than the bickering couple.
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20 Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:17 PM
This show has completely led me in one way and then another but then it all makes sense at this point and that makes me appreciate it so much more and love it to pieces now. The writing is quite incredible. Usually I am quite stubborn and once I am on a ship I stay there until the end (and cry, if there is 2nd lead syndrome). But, this show has first made me ship for Tae Ha and Yeo Reum and then now back to for Ha Jin and Yeo Reum. It has also been very difficult for me to guess who Yeo Reum would end up with. (Sometimes I wish she would just become single and get some time to think things over.) Anyway, I find it intriguing and interesting that 2 episode back I just literally screamed at the screen that Ha Jin and Yeo Reum need to break up asap and then yesterday my heart just skipped a beat because I was too happy that Ha Jin walked out and found Yeo Reum still outside. I think it is pretty clear from Tae Ha's subsequent monologue what the message the show wants to send to us. Yes it's all important that we have passion and honesty with each other in a relationship but maybe what matters for the longevity of a relationship is also how hard we try to protect it. I agree that Ha Jin and Yeo Reum have 2 important things to reveal to each other and there's still a lot for them to work out in their relationship, but I don't think their relationship is dysfunctional beyond reparation and the most important thing is that they always try to come back to each other and that is, at least for my hopeful mind, a clear sign that this might actually work out eventually. That's the crucial thing that Yeo Reum and Tae Ha weren't able to do. They let go of each other too easily for what they had had together. Maybe Tae Ha and Yeo Reum are actually perfect for each other, and things could have worked out beautifully for them (like Yoon Sol said) but it was not the right time. Yeo Reum didn't have the painful experience with past relationship that gives her the persistence and determination to protect her current relationship. Tae Ha wasn't the same person with such an understanding of love and care. Tae Ha and Yeo Reum are perfect for each other *now*, but it is too late. Ironically, Ha Jin, despite his flaws in other respects, did timely recognize the importance of timing: he realized that many times he could have told Yeo Reum what he was about to tell her that night, he asked himself, 'Am I too late?" and he ran after her quickly enough to find her. I think it is not coincidentally that one of the main and repeated complaints of Yeo Reum about Tae Ha when they were dating was that he was always late. I think it's unfair to say that what Yeo Reum feels for Ha Jin is only sympathy and pity. She was mad at him about Ah Rim issue enough to refuse to stay despite knowing that he was about to propose but she was able to stop as she was thinking about how hurt Ha Jin must be and like she said, the thought hurt her heart too. I think that's also a clear...
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:22 PM
I think that’s also a clear sign of love. There’s an obvious sexual tension and attraction between Tae Ha and Yeo Reum, but there’s so much care and trust (albeit many times blind) between Ha Jin and Yeo Reum. In any case, I am still not 100% if Yeo Reum would actually stay with Ha Jin of course, because damn it they still have not talked about the big things! And I still love Tae Ha and part of me still hope for him to be alleviated from the pain of the heartbreak. I’m curious how it will all end… but then I’m content with the writing so far enough that I have some confidence that whatever the ending will be we would probably be left satisfied.
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Larissa
September 26, 2014 at 7:35 PM
What I understand is, YR-TH broke up after 5 years, means the willingness for them to keep their relationship in very young age with unstable position is incredible, whether they realize it or not. YR and HJ's relationship now only for 1 year. Both are in mature age, stable position in their work so no worry about other things. And everyone knows that one year is still fragile time (and every couple would be like in their honey moon stage). But when TH-AR problems come to them, the relationship already shake like this.
In my perspective, one year is too early to decide for proposing YR to get marry, especially HJ does't really know his 'future wife''s personal matter (vice versa) and always feels she never love him sincerely.
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Spi
September 27, 2014 at 3:42 AM
I am not sure if the length of a relationship is a very good indicator of how good it is for the prospect of marriage. One can be in a very unhealthy relationship for a very long time. Yeo Reum said she was lonely for much of the relationship with Tae Ha. It's true and I agree with you that Ha Jin does not know half of the person he wants to marry, and they definitely have to work on this issue for the marriage to happen. But I think they are making progress in getting to know each other and both already facing quite some painful problems. Tae Ha and Yeo Reum were sailing through their relationship and then when problem occurred at the end it was the deal breaker. Ha Jin and Yeo Reum are not ready for committing in a marriage yet but there are signs that their relationship might work out better in the next 4 years than the last 4 years of the relationship of Yeo Reum and Tae Ha.
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Larissa
September 27, 2014 at 3:54 AM
Maybe…. In fact now both Ha Jin and Yeo Reum is more mature (in term of age and their view about relationship also change) and settle in career, which was totally different conditions with what she-Tae Ha had before (unstable career and study). They just need to more open about each other.
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21 Komsuni
September 26, 2014 at 2:19 PM
I think what really annoys me here is not YR having secrets - she's entitled to them like all of us. What annoys me is how hypocritical she is to suspect HJ and AR having a relationship when she keeps lying to HJ about having "coincidences" with TH. I mean, she sees TH all the time, she slept in his bed, for god's sakes, HJ saw them hold hands at the mall and witnessed this intense moment at the pond, and heard them being in the car together... when he finds that box under her bed, which she could have gotten rid of, but kept, he will feel so totally betrayed and deceived and made a fool of! I can see him ripping that ring off her finger. I would.
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:28 PM
Komsuni, I think others discussed this point many times before. The difference is that Yeo Reum always sets a boundary with Tae Ha, despite being in many awkward and suspicious situations with him. She always takes Ha Jin's side and praises him in front of Tae Ha. The only time that she lets her guard down was the ending of ep 11 where she said since Tae Ha was coming over every day she ended up waiting for him. On the other hand, Ha Jin took Ah Rim's side and even followed her home leaving Yeo Reum behind while he was the one caught lying. I think it's not a good thing to conceal from Ha Jin the truth that Tae Ha and her used to date but Yeo Reum is doing this thinking that he would be hurt even more to know the truth.
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22 Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:22 PM
I think that's also a clear sign of love. There's an obvious sexual tension and attraction between Tae Ha and Yeo Reum, but there's so much care and trust (albeit many times blind) between Ha Jin and Yeo Reum. In any case, I am still not 100% if Yeo Reum would actually stay with Ha Jin of course, because damn it they still have not talked about the big things! And I still love Tae Ha and part of me still hope for him to be alleviated from the pain of the heartbreak. I'm curious how it will all end... but then I'm content with the writing so far enough that I have some confidence that whatever the ending will be we would probably be left satisfied.
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 2:22 PM
Sorry, double post!
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23 chetski
September 26, 2014 at 6:00 PM
After reading the recaps I end up reading the comments too to see what others think - I really like this drama for the story and its actors - some insist that Yeorum should end up with Taeha just because Eric is suppose to be the lead but come on not all lead actors get the girl - Taeha and Yeorum only met again accidentally they were not pining and looking for that lost love - if they had not met again Yeorum and Hajin's issue would only be that Hajin was an orphan - I actually didn't like that Taeha had the guts to pursue Yeorum when she already has a new boyfriend - Another thing I don't like is Yeorum not telling Hajin of her previous relationship with Taeha (I mean I get it that this is her way of protecting their relationship by not creating conflict) but doesn't she realize that it would hurt Hajin more if he finds out the truth from someone else - Sol and Joonho aren't helping either by agreeing to keep the secret - the feeling of being betrayed destroys trust which is essential in a relationship - I think the title "discovery of romance" is the characters discovering that to really love is to have that will to work on making sure to keep a relationship - I hope that Yeorum and Hajin work out their relationship because I think that they really love each other
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24 annie
September 26, 2014 at 6:08 PM
Thanks for the recap. Totally agree, Eric's pain is my pain. T__T
Aside from my biased Oppa feels though, I loved this episode and I really like how the writer (apparently) turned things around from ep 11, which seemed to be leading straight to a breakup between YR-HJ and a reconciliation with TH. But although right after watching it I was feeling that YR-HJ will probably be the endgame, after giving it a few days I don't think so.
I think ultimately when the truth comes out about Yeorreum and Taeha's past it will break Hajin's trust in a way that can't be recovered, and on top of that Yeoreum won't be as contrite as maybe she would be otherwise because of Hajin's own lies and omissions. I think what we saw in this episode are the clear fault lines in their relationship which they are now beginning to fully recognize and admit to each other - and because there is still love, they have made one last big effort to really make a go of things. Which is awesome of them. But I don't think in the end it will be enough, now that their relationship dynamic has been so clearly stated out loud, and once all the secrets come out. I really feel bad for Hajin, because he is so much in love with her, but I think he'll be better off in the long run, instead of staying in a relationship where he is forever watching what he says and scared of being left. I'm pretty sure the love would turn to resentment and blame eventually. Who knows, maybe that was the dynamic between YR's parents. Maybe she'll find that out in future eps and that'll be the impetus for her to leave HJ.
However things play out, the last two episodes have given me confidence that this writer will give us a satisfying conclusion for all the characters, and that's a feeling I haven't had in a long time for a kdrama. Looking forward to next week!
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25 Jelly
September 26, 2014 at 7:52 PM
I think the 'ding' moment of the episode for me was Hajin telling Yeoreum that he loves her more and how he hated that by being the one in 'disadvantage', he has to apologise and kowtow first because he's always more afraid that the relationship will break up. By pushing too far, he's afraid that the relationship will fall apart.
This is key for me because it shows that while Taeha and Ahrim were in many ways catalysts for the changes in Hajin and Yeoreum's relationship, the problems existed way before Taeha and Ahrim came into the picture. This is why I can't see Hajin and Yeoreum lasting together and why even now Taeha and Ahrim can't really be blamed for it because at the heart of it the problems lies with Hajin and Yeoreum. It lies in the fact that they are not equals in this relationship and that is the fault of both of them and not just Yeoreum.
I don't see it as love to let everything slide. It's more fear than anything else to me. It's also not love to be manipulative and emphasising the authority you have over the other person. I can only imagine that even if Taeha and Ahrim did not enter their lives, Hajin and Yeoreum would end up breaking up eventually because there will be a point where Hajin gets sick of being the one who apologises first and Yeoreum may self-destruct because of letting all the things she's experienced fester and grow dark within her because it's too painful to let out.
The more this show goes on the more I think it's not actually a drama about exes but a drama about the current relationship.
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selina
September 27, 2014 at 8:04 PM
I agree with all of this but especially the part where you mention that the core of HJ/YR's relationship problems have nothing to do with TH and AR. From the very beginning I've always asked myself a lot of why's when it came to the two's relationship.
From the first episode it was "why doesn't he trust her enough to tell her about the marriage date agreement? Why doesn't he just say no to his mom on that? Why do they need that tracker app? Why is she so clearly lying about where she is? Why the false tears and the games to have and keep the upper hand? Why doesn't this guy ever ask more questions of his girlfriend? Why do both just smile and nod and act like everything is okay when it is clearly not?
The two of them's lack of trust, inability to really communicate, and inequality in their relationship has been there long before AR and TH came into the picture. I still cannot understand why he asked her to marry him and she agreed when there is so much dysfunction between them? i know people say HJ knows exactly what he has with YR and he accepts it, but it is more than obvious that he can only accept things for so long and that she is drawing closer and closer to his tipping point. I don't know, episode 12 was a good start but it again felt like him giving and her receiving. I guess for me I just see a crash and burn for them so I don't get why they choose to hold on so strongly to it.
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26 Niki
September 26, 2014 at 8:00 PM
Not gonna lie, i was on board this drama because i was hoping for Que Sera Sera - The Alternate Happy Ending of Tae Joo & Eun Soo. NOT QSS - The Return of Pain. I'm putting this on the back burner till the finale shows me alter-ego TaeSoo happily ever after, TO.GE.THER. If not, even 8years of Shinhwa love is not going to get me to finish this. I will throw my orange towel at the writer.
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27 Larissa
September 26, 2014 at 8:10 PM
We should not forget Tae Ha and Ha Jin condition are totally different when they were/ are dating YR. Tae Ha was still really young, work hard to build his career, but he could made their relationship for 5 years. While HJ in his mature age, no worry about position, but still can't convince YR to tell the truth about her life.
Just from this point, IMO Tae Ha is better man than Ha Jin. And he deserves better girl than YR. Too bad he still can't move on. And YR's reaction after their broke up is so exaggerate which jeu showed of she loved him too much. Even after they broke up so many years, the feeling still as strong as her love for HJ.
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Aigoooo
September 28, 2014 at 5:41 AM
I don't think TH is a better man than HJ. The difference between the 2 is that TH had the unguarded YR and HJ had the guarded, battlescarred YR. I bet if HJ had met YR back then instead of TH then it would have been a different story.
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28 Blkasian
September 26, 2014 at 8:42 PM
I'm just lovin' this drama. I think Tae Ha and Yeo Reum will drift back together because they are sharing and settling issues the were rifts in their earlier relationship. Important things that he paid little attention to like the need to have him present when she begged him to come to her even though a reason wasn't given. As for Ha Jin and his adopted sister they share like interest and although she's already in a one sided love I think this could work. Even though she has been given a clue about their past I think she is going to move forward acting the fact they are not blood related. They share a like interest in the field of volunteering. Next episode should be interesting.
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29 olengjus
September 26, 2014 at 9:03 PM
I think this episode has shown so much maturity for both KTH and HYR. Despite all the feelings between the two, HYR's choice of staying with NHJ as he is the person beside her makes more sense in reality. So looking forward for the next episode as I want to see how the writer plot all the pieces back together, how HYR and KTH will finally face their truth and ties back all their loose ends.
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30 Phi
September 26, 2014 at 9:49 PM
Hajin & Yeoreum are making baby steps to improve their communication and learn to trust the other. I hope they can do so before all those secrets & omission catching up with them.
I am a YR-TH shipper but after the 2nd break up in ep. 10 it sets me more at ease seeing how that brought proper closure to the both of them. And that is satisfy for me.
Of course it's awesome if they're indeed the end game. They feel more belong to each other, this perhaps because they don't have any lie or secrets to hide. I also love their cute little squabbles.
Gosh imagine YR-TH-SOL-JH are all in the same spot. cray cray cray
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31 Jennipoh
September 26, 2014 at 10:33 PM
"...Tae-ha accuses Joon-ho and Sol for being horrible friends. He ended his relationship with Yeo-reum, but as soon as he did, he lost their friendship as well."
That's so sad and it's so true. When you end it badly with someone, you tend to lose not only that person but their friends too.
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32 BbopkiBbopki
September 26, 2014 at 10:40 PM
I'm perplexed when reading comments that blame YR when it is TH who initiates many of these coincidences, the biggest one being his rather forceful solicitation to work with YR's company. Sol is also not completely innocent in creating a friendly environment for said coincidences. Do viewers forget that it was Sol who insisted on YR to accept the project and keep TH's relation to YR a secret from HJ?
Despite her character flaws, YR is perhaps the only one in this drama who is consciously trying to keep her boundaries clear with men who might be interpreted by HJ as potential rivals. The two men, on the other hand, have no qualms about blurring the line for their own motives, some of which are innocent (HJ) and some not as much (TH).
As pitiful as TH looks in the past few episodes, he brings all these feels upon himself for re-opening a wound that seems to have healed for YR. Knowing fully well that YR is in a relationship with a loving BF, TH never backs down in the fight for the girl, even when he promises he would; bringing a box full of past mementos to YR during an especially trying period of YR and HJ's relationship is not only inconsiderate but also very very selfish. Below are three possible motives for TH's gifting of the cursed box, none of which helps YR to live happily with HJ, a wish TH so saintly bestowed upon YR:
1. Visits YR dad's grave AND takes pictures of said grave as proof ---> to uncover the truth and resolve his own guilt: what does this do for YR other than invoke memories of a painful loss and repair his image in YR's mind? Yes, one can argue that TH is helping YR overcome deep rooted guilt/sadness over her dad's passing. But such "assistance" is unnecessary, unsolicited, and very insensitive. TH should read Henrik Ibsen's play The Wild Duck to understand why his help is unwelcome.
2. Dumps the box full of memory triggers on YR --->to get rid of HIS lingering feelings: I mean...just because he has problems of letting go doesn't mean he needs to make YR, a woman with a BF, hold on to physical evidence of TH's existence in her life. If TH actually cares for YR, he should have sent that box into space to minimize disturbance to YR's current relationship.
3. Dumps the box of memories on YR ---> in order to tease out YR's subconscious feelings of longing for him: Even if TH doesn't admit to doing this, he must know that the box causes emotional triggers in YR, whom he hedges is already wavering.
TH, as YR says in her early analysis of him, always gets what he wants, to which I'll add either by fair play or stealth, a tactic he never admits to.*rolls eyes*
Harsh words for TH aside, Eric is truly excellent in this drama, as are Jung Yumi, Sung Joon, and other actors. I have nothing but love for this well written show, one of only a few standouts in a year full of dull and repetitively themed dramas.
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Mianhe
September 26, 2014 at 11:19 PM
"But such “assistance” is unnecessary, unsolicited, and very insensitive. TH should read Henrik Ibsen’s play The Wild Duck to understand why his help is unwelcome."
Sorry, I disagree with this. Admit it or not, KTH is the one to whom YR can share her stories about her father's suicide. And the reason is simple " Because you're Kang Tae Ha" she said.
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 11:52 PM
I think if YR actually tried, she'd be able to share her stories about her father's suicide with someone else. It doesn't have to be HJ even (though if she wanted a sincere relationship with him, it should be), but I don't buy into that TH is the only one that is right for her just because she's able to share some things with him now that she doesn't share with anyone else. She's got a much longer history with TH than with HJ, a history of – as someone else said – when she was 'at her best', so of course YR/TH know much more of each other than HJ, who got her when she already had all this unresolved baggage, lack of trust and unwillingness to open up.
YR and TH also still have tremendous baggage, she has serious issues that she needs to resolve before she can be a in a sincere relationships with ANYone.
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Mianhe
September 27, 2014 at 12:34 AM
"She’s got a much longer history with TH than with HJ, a history of – as someone else said – when she was ‘at her best’, so of course YR/TH know much more of each other than HJ." what about Yoon Sol and Do Joon Ho then...?? They have been together since childhood. Yoon Sol even girl same as her. We admit it or not, TH is the one to whom YR can share everything. TH gave a place to rpull out her sadness. So sad whatever he did in this drama seems always get negative responses from everyone just because he's an ex who's re-appeared in front of a girl who's in relationship.
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alua
September 27, 2014 at 2:35 AM
Honestly, I'm not paying much attention to Sol / Joon Ho.
As for YR/TH, well, if you believe there's only "the one", sure. But I don't buy into that kind of mentality. Because if I did, I would have to think if Tae-ha died for some reason poor YR would be doomed to be alone and misunderstood forever... I prefer to believe there many people in the world out there that are good, that we can trust and share things with. I don't necessarily think Ha-jin is one of those people (although he wants to be), since their relationship started at a disadvantaged point from which it might be very difficult to recover.
Phi
September 27, 2014 at 4:32 AM
@alua, sure there're good people out there but what's the point if one doesn't feel comfortable sharing his/her little secrets with?
Whether we believe with Taeha is the only one she's comfortable with sharing her secret or not, the show is showing us so. Yeoreum said she didn't tell Taeha about her father's suicide because she knows Taeha would find out when he gets to the hospital, "because you're Kang Taeha". That tells me not just Taeha's abilities but also the level of her confident/trust in him that she doesn't have for others
And like @Mianhe pointed out, it's not because Taeha & Yeoreum knows each other longer. One just has a certain level of comfort to confide to certain people even if there are many good people out there, and it's obviously has nothing to do with how long they know each other.
@Mianhe, your last sentence, I can't agree more
mookie
September 27, 2014 at 12:35 AM
Vehemently disagree. HYR would not even start to ponder trying to confide to anyone, that includes KTH of course, let alone really try. It was KTH taking the initiative to investigate and connect the dots, he was the vessel of Dad's last wish HYR did not even know existed, he was the one figuring out himself Dad's demise, his effort was crucial to helping YR starting to tryyy having closure, who else have all the information?! Nobody but KTH, the guy YR's dad bestowed upon to take care of his daughter and wife.
Bear in mind when KTH started pursuing YR, his vantage point was NHJ was a two timing hypocrite which he witnessed a number of innuendoes, and YR had set up boundaries efficiently he never got anywhere with his advances, YR was more vitriolic at him than us when his actions were exactly proving he was as ignorant at love ie he was a non factor to YR. He could shamelessly pursue and wanna hit some sense into himself, human beings just do not behave always inside the square, as she had all the right to snub him as cruelly as she desired. The only instant TH shook her was when she had a moment of peace of mind seeking refuge in his embrace, but that was also the moment TH let go and he had been keeping it up with his every action since. He actually stopped pursuing YR earlier when he got the point HJ is her choice and YR was comfortable enough to have what i call a confidante in him getting info about her bf.
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alua
September 27, 2014 at 2:28 AM
<HYR would not even start to ponder trying to confide to anyone, that includes KTH of course, let alone really try.
She would not, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't. Well, unless she wants to be stuck in a funk about past events forever. Sorry, but that's something SHE needs to sort out, not something others need to do for her.
<his vantage point was NHJ was a two timing hypocrite which he witnessed a number of innuendoes
None of his business though, especially if he has a bad relationship with YR or if he's doing it to gain something himself. Plus, that might have been his vantage point, but he was actually wrong about it. And when he stopped pursuing YR, he was still stalking here.
That said, my biggest problems was with YR, not TH or HJ. Ultimately I don't think any of them should end up together.
Mianhe
September 27, 2014 at 2:29 AM
I might be wrong due to catch what subtitle said, but at first, TH just showed her father's grave (a tree??). He didn't has any clue about suicide. Then, YR started crying and told him the truth. She can just told her father got accident like she did to her best friends, but no…she told him the truth. *But, I might wrong about this. Need to re-watch again…XD.
Anyway, I don't have any intention to attack someone's opinion about every characters in this drama. Being honest, Kang Tae Ha is my fav character even tough he's not as perfect as Nam Ha Jin or Do Joon Ho. The way he still act cool when got all the blame in every single things related to YR, make his character become more interesting to me. I'm worried even though YR got engaged with HJ, something happen in the middle and she cry, TH will be the one who got blamed by everyone (AGAIN).
Lastly, I hope to see smiley Kang Tae Ha at the end whatever the path he'll get. After this tiring 'training and punishment', I'm sure he'll be stronger and better than ever.
And I think I'm becoming fan of Eric because of this drama…XD
Phi
September 27, 2014 at 5:31 AM
@alua,
"None of his business though, especially if he has a bad relationship with YR or if he's doing it to gain something himself. Plus, that might have been his vantage point, but he was actually wrong about it. And when he stopped pursuing YR, he was still stalking here."
You lost me with your train of thoughts there.
Sure none of Taeha's business if HJ wants to cheat on YR, but the fact is he still cares for her and he doesn't want to see her get hurt by a cheated BF. Sure none of his obligation but as a person (even if he's an ex),
Whether it is right to you or to us, it is Taeha's business if he wants to use Yeoreum's suspicions on HJ-AR + Hajin's lies to his advantage and weaken YR-HJ. He didn't. That tells me even if he wants to get back with Yeoreum, he doesn't want to play foul.
What is so wrong with him visiting YR's studio? He didn't intentionally let her know/see it to score sympathy points from Yeoreum. The fact is all that feelings can't just disappear at a snap of fingers. Is it just me that those few visits is part of weaning off? I don't see it as creepy stalking or being possessive.
I love that scene when TH and YF sat backing on each other, separated by a glass door. Such powerful statement and beautiful as well
Kandiboo
September 27, 2014 at 6:14 AM
+1!
mookie
September 27, 2014 at 11:06 AM
@alua,
when is the logic because we should, then we could?!
What if she can't AND TH can help her out exactly because he is the only one who CAN?! What is the wrong in that?
And it was such a cynical light to cast on KTH, it frightened me how dark you see these characters...KTH is very shaken when he learned of the death of YR's dad, VERY. He was very close to Dad and he needed his own closure mourning a dear father figure in his life as well...and for 'gaining something for himself'?!?!??! Over the horrible death of a very dear person in his life?!?!?!?!? Whatthe...
Again he investigated, paid respect, mourn YR's Dad out of genuine love for Dad, I refuse to consider there is another 'interpretation' to the fact. While he reached his own closure, he figured YR has not had closure...and he offered to reach out to her...WHILE he is letting her go and wishes her happiness with his exit in her life for good. How was that for his own gain?!??
Excuse my language.
mookie
September 27, 2014 at 11:11 AM
@Mianhe,
TH reached the conclusion YR's dad took his own life when it hits him in the car during YR's panic attack and he flashed back the talk with Dad...in hindsight atvm, it was very ominous that was his last words before ending his life and we have a visual of a vanishing dad as he walked away...in the visual of TH's memory. Even TH then commented to Dad his speech sounds like Dad was about to embark on a long vacation, but he did not think anything more to it.
What YR told him that TH could not figure out was she was the one finding his body, her trauma, and she has been living in the extreme guilt reliving the day figuring out any clue, any hint she missed that could have prevented it... and TH comforted her she should stop beating herself up because Dad had been planning that all along, that was nothing she missed nor could do if Dad was so determined.
alua
September 26, 2014 at 11:58 PM
Yup, those acts were selfish. If he really wanted to let her go, he should have just let her go without dumping things on her that were definitely going to upset her in one way or another, whether to make her waver about her feelings for him or to make her hate him even more.
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Aigoooo
September 28, 2014 at 6:16 AM
I don't blame TH for pursuing YR. He is not the one in a relationship and he is not beholden to respect YR's relationship with HJ since he is a complete stranger to him. It's YR's job to not get involved with TH. As the audience, sure we do see her setting boundaries with TH but if you put yourself in HJ's shoes, all you see is your significant other skulking around with this guy all of a sudden which is not cool. The way I see it, YR should have tried harder or cut TH of completely (none of this setting boundaries bs to begin with).
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33 BbopkiBbopki
September 26, 2014 at 11:42 PM
I will agree to disagree. :) Yes, at this point in YR's life, she has shared more time with TH. So of course, she would be more comfortable sharing such sensitivity with TH. And that's exactly what TH wants YR to see, that he is better than HJ because he understands...If TH honestly wishes YR well with HJ, he should have not disclosed his visit to YR or even included those pictures, and instead, give HJ a chance to establish a stronger bond through time with YR, after which I am sure YR will be just as comfortable sharing the secret of her dad's death with HJ. But no, TH cannot wait to let YR know that he is repenting, right at the time when YR's relationship with HJ is on the rocks.
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Sandra
September 27, 2014 at 12:04 AM
TH did approach her after they met again. But when he realized his fault, he changed to help her with HJ. He was the one saying nothing happen between HJ-AR to comfort her and he didn't react anything about YR's confession. If he gave the memory box to YR, because for himself it's too precious not to remember which can make him more difficult to move on. When he gave that box to YR, I'm sure he's ready when the box will be gone (YR almost burn that box actually, but she cancelled it). He also willingly drive her to HJ's home on the proposal day. He already changed to be better guy but to move on I guess still takes time.
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Phi
September 27, 2014 at 6:11 AM
When Taeha knew Hajin didn't cheat on Yeoreum with Ahrim and know that Hajin really love YR, he stops pursuit her.
It's Taeha that didn't let YR see HJ-AR at the mall when HJ lied to YR about the seminar. It's Taeha that told Yeoreum to stop being suspicious of Yeoreum because there's nothing between HJ & YR. It's Taeha that pointing out that Hajin would feel the same seeing they (YR-TH) together. It's Taeha, who told YR that HJ said she's the only one for him and he can't live without her. He didn't rush to embrace YR's confession. Driving YR to HJ's home knowing HJ going to propose to YR.... How is that not helping YR-HJ bonding?
I find it's sad people conveniently forget the good things that Taeha does or even twisting it to something bad.
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BbopkiBbopki
September 27, 2014 at 9:25 PM
Wow, jimmies are rustled! To me, TH is someone who caused YR pain in the past and suddenly wedges himself between YR and HJ five years later because he wants a second chance. Sounds about right? :) Just his re-entry alone is enough to be labled as thoughtless and selfish. At this point in YR's life, she isn't some damsel in distress. She is safely anchored to HJ because HJ gives her stability. The numerous defenses of TH reminds me of Steve Job's famous quote, "people don't know what they want until you show it to them", which is what TH operates by when he believes that YR is enclosed in a shroud of blissful ignorance to think that HJ is the man for her. Steve Job's mentality works wonders in the business world but can definitely wreck havoc if applied to personal relations, as TH belatedly finds out.
As to those "selfless" sacrifices that TH doles out in between his acts of sabotage such as provoking HJ through words/actions, worsening YR's suspicion of HJ's interaction with AR (by jumping to the wrong conclusion/act according to said conclusion), and gleefully assisting YR during her fight with HJ, the selfless acts are actually remorseful apologies to HJ, whose image he has already helped to tarnish in YR's mind.
Yeah, so I agree that TH has acted selfless at certain points...but it's all because he realized he is wrong to have interfered in the relationship at all and that maybe, just maybe, his second entrance into YR's life will rob her of happiness...again. But his remorse comes much too late, since he has already done enough damage to YR's relationship with HJ.
In essence, it's perfectly okay to act selfish in or in the pursuit of a relationship. Who doesn't? But to cover up one's selfish motivations by pretending to do a saint's work ain't gonna cut it. TH is as flawed as YR and HJ if not more so. Without TH's selfish meddling, we won't have the show at all! :D
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selina
September 27, 2014 at 9:54 PM
With or without TH (and AR) YR and HJ's relationship was already one on the rocks. These two people reenter (and it is a reentrance for both since HJ formed some kind of connection strong enough with AR in the orphanage to seek her out all these years later) their lives just quickly propelled and brought to light insecurities, miscommunication, inequality, and lack of trust that was already in their relationship.
From the moment we met Yeo Reum and Ha Jin as a couple I felt something was very wrong with them.
First I could not understand why in the world a coupe (anyone really) would need the stalkerish which where you at app on their phones. For emergency situations sure, but it didn't seem like the two had been/were using it for that kind of situation. That app right there told me that for whatever reason trust is really lacking in their relationship. I mean if you want to know where your significant other is can't you simply call them and ask where they are and shouldn't you have established enough honesty and trust in your relationship to be able to believe them when they say wherever it is that they are at? Having the need to download such an app is just like whaaat?? to me.
Second I never understood why Ha-Jin felt the need to keep the fact that he was searching for Ah Rim a secret from Yeo Reum. From the very beginning a lot of misunderstandings (which I don't think were misunderstandings) could have been avoided if Ha-jin would have just told Yeo Reum that he was searching for Ah Rim and when he found her told her that he had found her. If he didn't want to share the secret of his orphanage past he could have simply told her some of the truth that she was a childhood friend that felt indebted to and wanted to find again. He didn't trust or have faith in her understanding and after almost two years of dating I wondered and continue to wonder why that is/was.
Third I don't understand why Ha-Jin simply inform his Yeo Reum of the promised marriage dates he had to go on or better yet show respect to his relationship and stand up/against his mother's wishes and simply not go. Again if there was trust, understanding, and clear communication in their relationship he would have told her about it. Yeo Reum would then have no reason to go to the hotel and thus would have never bumped into Tae Ha again. Also HJ's insecurities and imbalance of love and commitment (he loves her much than she loves him) was there before TH showed up. In episode 12 when HJ said that YR's I love you was the first time he felt she actually meant it I felt so bad for him. How can you date someone for almost two years and ask them to marry you when you've doubted if they love you like they say they do.
My point is that it is easy to blame TH or AR for what HJ and YR's relationship is right now (which is fair because they bare some responsibility in the matter) but honestly everything that is going on goes back to choices, behaviors, and...
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34 Mynameiskimsamsoon
September 27, 2014 at 12:26 AM
Stop blaming someone else (in this case Kang Tae Ha and Ahn Ah Rim) when YR-HJ relationship alone is unhealthy.
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Cindy
September 27, 2014 at 6:48 AM
True…especially to the 'almighty' Kang Tae Ha. Honestly Kang Tae Ha becomes my new favorite k-romance hero… You may blame him whatever you want…but he still as cool and sexy as ever…XD
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Mynamekimsamsoon
September 27, 2014 at 7:13 AM
LIKE THIS !!!
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ffiza
October 8, 2014 at 2:19 AM
I found it funny when anything happened to Yeo-reum, her friends first response is "What have you done Tae-ha?". Poor man.
And I can't blame Ah-rim for crushing on Ha-jin. Come on, she suddenly met a guy who goes all the way to help her,
good looking and nice to boot. She can't help herself when Hajin made her breakfast, buy her stuff and all that. In fact, I feel sorry for all the hate she's getting from the comments
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35 Spi
September 27, 2014 at 3:36 AM
Interesting that so many people get frustrated with this drama. I was at some point too. And I've now found out that it is actually the strength of this drama. It's intriguing, it makes us feel uncomfortable and it showcases many complexities in relationship. I feel like I cannot love any character in this drama but I can appreciate how well and real they are written.
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36 Cindy
September 27, 2014 at 4:05 AM
I still dislike YR from the first episode till now (sorry for YR's fans). At the earlier episodes, she kept calling her ex 'jerk', bad mouthing about him, and spread those hating to her best friends, which make them hate KTH too. In fact, their relationship was 5 years. So, during 5 years, there was no a single thing that valuable from her ex??? How can they were together for that long relationship? Now, when she's with her current boyfriend, she still hiding her past relationship with KTH. If TH means nothing for her, why just she say the truth about it? In fact, she cried and confessed that she's still waiting for her ex….LOL…Then…the next day, she accepted the proposal for her bf…..aigooo…..She needs to break up from her current boyfriend and thinking carefully before making other person more suffering because of her decision (because I don't care about her at all…).
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AJ
September 27, 2014 at 6:32 AM
I completely agree with you. I don't find YR to be a realistic or thoughtful character at all (based on recaps ... the show itself lost me some 10 episodes ago). She is too immature, selfish, and emotionally stunted, and the idea that two men would have the patience or desire to deal with that seems ludicrous. Both of the men have their own issues, but she's a real piece of work, able to reflect only on how she has been hurt and not on how she hurts others. She is not a grown-up and has no business in a relationship.
Oddly, given my view of the show, I find the recaps and comments are always worth the read.
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Cindy
September 27, 2014 at 6:51 AM
What I hate the most about her is she always bad mouthing about her ex and acted like her ex always did bad things towards her, which I found ridiculous because they were in relationship for 5 years…5 years…man….!!!!! She needs to understand someone else's perspective not only the things that make her satisfied….
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Aigoooo
September 28, 2014 at 6:32 AM
hehe Not sure if you are watching Plus Nine Boys but Da In can give Yeo Reum a run for her money in the "emotionally self-centered woman of the year award".
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AJ
September 28, 2014 at 1:46 PM
See -- I have no problem with Da In -- she's 10 years of living past where Kwang Soo is -- she's grieved for him, met and fell in love with someone else, married and had a child, experienced marital problems and a divorce, and is now a single working mother. She's been through a wringer and he wants to pick up where they were. She has no good option here -- whether she explains the break-up or tells him to get away -- he'll either want to revisit the past, explain and apologize, or try to persuade her to see him. She just doesn't have the energy or desire for it ... and he seems entirely oblivious to anything but his own wants. He has gotten on my last nerve in these last two episodes. I see him as the thoroughly selfish one.
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37 youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 6:26 AM
Maybe it's strange but YR hiding her past with TH from HJ actually makes sense to me (even if I don't agree with it completely). Initially she thought it was a non-factor in her relationship with HJ because he was just her ex from a long time ago that she had practically no residual feelings except bitterness for, and because of the unfortunate incident of having accidentally slept over at his place, which would be colored in a completely different light coupled with their past relationship. She probably didn't think she'd really see him again either. While the scenario after; that is the job that she took up had more to do with her financial situation and Sol convincing her, besides her pride being questioned on grounds that she wasn't "professional" enough to keep her feelings aside for her career (which, for someone who has always dreamed of being in this business, is pretty galling.)
And then of course, it all got royally messed up.
Telling HJ now would constitute an admission that implies far more than she actually thinks she feels about TH (whether her usual self-awareness stretches to romance and whether she's sure about what she really wants is questionable, of course). I think she's managed to keep quite a distance from TH till this point. I do feel she came dangerously close to emotional cheating in seeking him out at the workshop and telling him she’s starting to wait for him; but afterwards she made sure to tell him that it was a moment of weakness and she didn’t mean anything by it and is making no active efforts at all to be near him etc., which, in my book, would actually constitute emotional cheating. Although her confusion is clear and her boundaries are blurring too, but he still continues to play the active role; like in telling her that he’ll drop her over to HJ’s place.
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youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 6:26 AM
Their entire relationship in the present has mostly been a journey for KTH to find out what went wrong before. They were both in the wrong, but I think YR, even while blaming TH, did get that the unequal power dynamic- even if nobody's fault, for after all, I don't know how fair it is to blame someone for not loving you as much as you love them since it's not really something that can be controlled- and her own reactions informed by the same had a part in the break up. But TH who, being the ~stronger party, wasn't even aware that there was an unequal dynamic had to see beyond his own complacency and understanding of the break-up as "sudden" and inexplicable. What is significant also is that YR, even in the present, not once mentioned her dad as the reason they broke up. She didn’t try to guilt him about the death. TH found about his death on his own, and the reason for his death on his own too, and it’s only in the following confrontation that YR was forced to tell him why she hadn’t mentioned it earlier. And THAT is when the full realization of the break-up hit him. When he began to reassess the memories and actually recognized the extent of his neglect of her in the last phase of their relationship.
Not that I think that this makes the situation ~right. Because clearly, YR’s reticence on the TH factor re: HJ is also a sign of an unequal power dynamic re: YR/HJ. However, going by human nature, her position, and maybe even TH’s in the past is understandable. They can/could both behave as they do/did because they were loved lesser than they were loved, and that inevitably informs their actions. I don’t think it makes them hypocritical per se, even though that seems a popular opinion, because they simply do/did not feel as much as the other person did, so they find it easier to break plans, or not call etc. etc. That doesn’t mean that the other person doesn’t have the right to do the same; because of course they do. It’s like YR keeps asking HJ to not let her off the hook, to question her actions, to ask about the things that hurt him, and yet he doesn’t. Nobody stopped YR in the past or HJ in the present from doing what their significant others were doing, but again, their respective positions (and their awareness of those positions) acted as a sort-of self-censor. That might not be very nice or healthy, but it’s realistic. A lot of relationships aren’t as much on an equal footing as we’d like them to be and dynamics are necessarily informed by that. Class differences so often inform so many kdrama couplings, but an emotional difference in a relationship can also have a significant impact. Love, after all, is not a zero sum game. Which is why I don’t blame YR in the past for finally having walked away from a relationship that clearly made her feel alone. And I wouldn’t blame HJ either if he chooses to walk away.
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youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 6:27 AM
HJ is clearly the losing party here; as he’s already mentioned, he is always forced to keep his real feelings under check because YR will find it easier to walk away. And because of that admission, I was so glad that she didn’t walk away this episode. Because she could have. It’s not like characters analyze their relationships in the same way as viewers do, and the stronger party, so to speak, might not even be aware that it’s the stronger party, even though their subconscious actions often confirm it. (Like TH might never have actively thought that he could bail out of plans because YR was more in love with him and would be forced to forgive him, but his actions nevertheless were informed by that subconscious understanding anyway.) But YR now knows that HJ considers himself the weaker party, even if she was possibly unaware of it at first, and in that, I LOVE that she didn’t use the power that she knows she has. That she was willing to make herself vulnerable and apologize even when she knew she was the stronger party is significant to me, because THAT showcases the difference between TH-in-the-past and YR-in-the-present. Situations are defined by characters so they never form an exact correlative. Even when they found themselves in the same positions, TH and YR reacted differently. TH actually walked away without looking back, even after having been told that YR had always kept status quo because of exactly that fear; that the moment she said it was over, it would be over. While YR did not walk away even knowing that HJ would probably also keep status quo (as he was about to, considering that he too was walking out to find her.)
This is why I will always like YR. Because I think that these actions are consistent with how I read her as a character. She’s volatile, and yes, she can be hypocritical, and maybe be unlikeable sometimes, but honestly, I am yet to meet a person who can’t. But, all through, she’s shown admirable strength of character in consistently prioritizing HJ over TH as someone she’s dating, even though it’s an open debate as to who she really feels more deeply for. There are times that she can’t help but be visibly confused about her feelings because of TH’s actions, but all through I’ve never once got the feeling that she’s deliberately putting herself into situations where the confusion is bound to compound, as so often happens, and which is so often disregarded by the parties indulging in it. Which is why I’m not on the bandwagon that believes that she’s “leading” both guys on. I believe that YR needs to tell HJ about her past with TH, but I don’t feel that it reflects terribly on her as a person that she hasn’t yet told him. Of course it will all blow up soon enough and if HJ chooses to walk away, that will be understandable. (Shipping pretty much everything has made me pretty zen about this show, haha.)
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Cindy
September 27, 2014 at 7:06 AM
Just wondering whether YR even knows that everyone has their own way to show their love for someone. Take example for YR (or maybe most of girls), caring, cute-pie love, cooking together, and other lovely moments consider as the perfect relationship that she wants (even without sharing anything to your partner). On the other hand, there is another person (KTH) has another perspective about love. Such as working hard to stabilize his position for their future (even has plan for giving her a workshop), giving her best part of food (which she didn't like), etc. She needs to grow up and understand about that. So, if in the middle she fail again (this time with Nam Ha Jin), she won't bad mouthing about him. Failed relationship not comes from one party, but both person in that relationship.
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youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 8:18 AM
That's completely true! But it's hard not to see that they're both right in their perspective, which makes blame on either kind of redundant. Because maybe, at that point in her life, YR needed someone to be there for her, more than she needed a man looking at a secure future (which she was also working towards building for herself as well), and TH was sacrificing the parts that he liked best in food, except YR didn't like them at all, so the whole endeavor was noble on his part, but also pointless.
I think that is such a great way to show how much these two miscommunicated at that point in time, that they didn't even know about each others' eating preferences, even after presumably having eaten together a fair number of times in five years. This drama is great with details like that. Like that they both liked complimentary portions in their food, which would ordinarily be a great sign of compatibility in a couple (since he loves the things she dislikes and she loves the things he dislikes and it would actually work in both their favors) and yet, their miscommunication turned it into a burden.
I don't think YR's resentment stems from how good TH was or wasn't. It stems from how she constantly felt through that relationship-- insecure, weaker, alone, etc. It isn't fair to completely blame it on TH, since, again, as I said, it can't be said that it was his "fault" for not being in love with her enough-- love doesn't work like that-- but then it can't be ignored that YR also can't be blamed for feeling the way she felt because she had reason enough for it; the knowledge that TH could walk away easily, while she couldn't, and constant manifestations of it like missed calls, plans, etc., feeding into her insecurity and telling her over and over that she couldn't say anything and would eventually have to give in. So keeping her pride under check for five years to try and keep TH with her, asserted itself in a disproportionate anger towards him later, which is understandable. In fact, I'm willing to bet that if things remain as they are, HJ too, at some point, will start resenting YR for having power over him, for always being the winning party even when she's wrong, as is already beginning to happen. Even if it's not "fair", since she too is hardly to blame for not loving him as much as he does her. But then again, human emotions hardly function on the basis of what is the fairest thing to feel. We're all limited by our perspective.
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youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 9:07 AM
And her view of him as a jerk is also colored by the fact that when she said "let's break up", they unilaterally broke up, exactly as she had always feared, her worst insecurity realized the one time she stepped out of the line she'd drawn for herself in the relationship, to never break status quo. KTH, although he admitted so many times he had no idea why they broke up, literally did not even ask why and let her go. And this with a woman that he had apparently even brought a ring for and planned to marry. Surely a relationship bordering on marriage runs deeper than a two minute unilateral break-up? And when she later said she'd been at fault and called him or came over, he didn't answer and didn't let her in.
That, at least in my opinion, showcases well how deep the power divide was at the time, and how vast the emotional distance. YR was the one to break-up, but she knew why she was breaking up with him (even if she still loved him and made attempts to get back together), TH did not know, and yet it seems that the five year long relationship meant so little to him at that point that he let the break-up go without question. So that YR is burned from the experience is hardly surprising, imo. Can TH be blamed for not being equally in love with YR as she was with him? I don't think so. But then can YR be blamed for feeling the way she did about TH, considering the situation? I still don't think so.
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Kandiboo
September 27, 2014 at 9:50 AM
Well actually YR didn't know it then (and now) but given that he was going to propose on that breakup trip and the letter that he wanted to send out (to the ?non existent address) he probably went through some pretty rough time too. Maybe he did a bit of "stalking" then too, who knows.
In real life I'm sure more than one of us have cautiously checked up on how our exes are doing via friends or social media, sometimes even quietly revisiting sites with shared memories or maybe looked at them from a distance. We might harbor residual feelings for them and maybe (irrationally, rationally) act out on them despite knowing that they have moved on. Maybe outwardly we are spiteful and spit out venom when talking about our despicable ex but deep down inside there's this nagging guilty feeling of unresolved issues that needs talking out. Perhaps time heals for some, but in others they need active mending and confrontation for closure.
It's easy to criticize each character because we're watching the drama from everyone, including their innermost thoughts from a 3rd party point of view. However if you put yourself in their shoes without input of additional info then maybe their behavior will all make sense. Well at least I don't find reason to blame a specific character. What a wonderfully well written drama.
Kandiboo
September 27, 2014 at 10:43 AM
PS Zoe hope you keep analyzing and criticizing, doing a good job here!!
youcallitwinter
September 27, 2014 at 11:58 AM
@Kandiboo
I'm still uncertain about what to think of the proposal because even if he was going to, I don't think it seems that anything in their relationship at the time seemed to warrant it. And when one party is proposing a break-up, while the other is proposing marriage, that is indeed a serious difference of opinion! Also, if he was indeed going to propose, then his side of the break-up (apart from the one letter) seems rather smooth, because it seems natural that the one contemplating marriage should be more shaken up by (what must have seemed to him) the sudden turn of events. I'm not criticizing TH here, because I think he's a fantastic character, I'm trying to understand the dynamic that exited at the time and why I agree with how the relationship progressed/ended at the time, and how it influenced these characters in their present.
As for the other count, I completely agree with you! Our perspective is informed by additional information that the characters do not have, and their actions necessarily have to be viewed in the light of information that they have. Blaming any of the characters unilaterally is a pointless activity, especially in a show that goes out of its way to point out that the truth is somewhere between the POV's of the characters and perhaps objectively unknowable. TH and YR are BOTH right in their recollection of the events of the past. And it has been fascinating to see their memories alter with changing perspectives. TH, who, being the less emotionally affected party had concentrated on the good since he was less affected by the bad, while YR, being the more emotionally affected party, had her view of practically the entire relationship colored by the bad. That's why their acknowledgment and recognition of the others' POV was so important; TH's realization as to the multiple things that went wrong and he failed to take note of, and YR's remembrance of the moments that they were definitely in love, which she had largely suppressed. It's a process of moving on too (or getting back? Only time will tell!) as YR can let go of her resentment which still informs her current relationship and approach to romance, and TH can experience and understand why YR acted the way she did being in her position in the current scenario (which he's already described as "hell"). Seriously a well-written drama!
Kandiboo
September 27, 2014 at 12:55 PM
@Zoe
Right now I think the story has pretty much focused on YR's side of the breakup, how she has been hurt and harbored all negative feelings which carried through/affected her in the current relationship.
We have only been shown little bits of what TH went through post-breakup but I think that was deliberately omitted and hopefully the cat will be out of the box when HJ discovers (or maybe YR voluntarily opens) the memory box.
Men (especially young men with lots of T) think differently and are usually less insightful at that age compared with the relatively more mature women. I would view it as initial anger then confusion because he had no damn clue on what was going on in the breakup conversation. Of course he didn't, men usually (note, usually) don't and won't find out what's wrong unless you tell it to them in the face. --> very typical household conversation, pre-"Communications 101" lesson.
Men don't know what they did wrong, women think that men don't care when it's SO obvious. Women goes on self-protection mode next relationship and becomes demanding, ?manipulative and not wanting to become the one who invests more emotionally for fear of repeat of history/insecurity. Men becomes workaholic - typical avoidance technique to override emotional needs so he can function as a human being (note: KTH functioning perfectly as a manic boss and goes home after work to get drunk on a daily basis). Professionally successful but emotionally empty.
selina
September 27, 2014 at 9:26 PM
i agree with everything...expect for TH not asking why. During the break up scene TH explicitly asks Yeo Reum twice why she was breaking up with him/why they have to break up, and her answer was: You should know. I get that at that point she was tired and fed up and she truly felt that, "he should know" but TH didn't let her go so easily. He stopped her each time she walked away (expect for the last) and asked her again and again in the middle of her reasonable ranting why she was dumping him? If she really understood what she was doing knowing how he is (i.e. if she says it's over then it's really over which was a sickish move imho cause it was felt like a threat/warning) and why she was doing it. Again YR says she knows exactly what she is doing and that he should know. At this point TH gets fed up with YR as much as she is with him. TH in that moment doesn't know or understand why his girlfriend whom he thought everything was fine and dandy, was just (in his opinion out) of the blue breaking up with him and wouldn't even show him the curtsy of telling him why. At that point, Tae Ha let's his anger and frustration get the best of him and tells her "fine then go." They were both in the wrong and let held in resentment and hot heads bring to ruin something that if they had better communication at the time they could have found some sort of cafe to talk it all out and come to some kind of understanding/agreement of where to go from there. It's like TH narrated, they both let go of each other's hand when they should have held on. So I like you give YR props for not doing the same now in a similar relationship with HJ (though I find the whole things misguided and feel their love factor as you mentioned is too unbalanced and sooner or later HJ is going to choose to walk away, which I would applaud him for. Now will it end as just a broken relationship or a broken marriage is another matter). Also I have become very zen about the ships too and although I still do have a preference of who I want together run the end (TH/YR) I ain't even mad and feel it would make all the sense narratively if that were to to happen.
Spi
October 1, 2014 at 2:02 PM
I was so glad that she stayed too. For the same reason that you have eloquently analyzed here!
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38 Phi
September 27, 2014 at 7:00 AM
It's funny to me that whatever Taeha does are bad and get blamed for others' actions/decisions. Has he become a blame target just to justify for any of YR & HJ's action?
Not saying Taeha is perfect & flawless but any good thing he does are often skipped over by most of the commentors here or even twisted to something bad.
Taeha was curious about YR when they meet again. Offering YR & Sol company the project wasn't his intention to mess around with YR & HJ. Both YR & Sol has the capability to not accepting the job. They did as Sol convinced YR to take the job so they get more work for the studio and for YR to get out of debt by TH's to so she can marriage Hajin and laugh it off in TH's face.
The good things that Taeha says to HJ or bring proper closure to the old relationship with the breakup are view as it's just about him.
The guy can't get off his feeling for YR after bidding good bye to YR is view as creepy stalking, possessive and even twisted it as his attempt to score sympathy points with YR. Do you all forget that he isn't robot that can just press a delete button every thing will be gone at a snap of fingers regardless how much he genuinely want to let go...
Sure he doesn't have to offer her the job and should had just move on from the start but hey if that's the case, we wouldn't be here reading recap of EP12. Tthere's no show, no drama XD
Taeha going after YR, people say he's selfish. He stops going after he, people say it's idiotic sacrifice. It's danm hard to be Taeha.
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Cindy
September 27, 2014 at 7:09 AM
I don't care what people says about Kang Tae Ha. For me, he's the most mature and grow up character in this series. He knows how to control, dominant and safe the one that he loved, with or without that person realized it.
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Phi
September 27, 2014 at 9:22 AM
can't agree with you more. It's just funny that people have to find any reason to blame/justify YR & HJ's actions/mistakes and their relationship troubles.
Hajin doesn't want to ask YR because he's afraid they'll break up if he does so he keeps on ignoring things than get to the bottom and deal with it. What does that tell us? How is that a healthy & stable relationship? Oh no it has to be Taeha's fault. *roll eyes*
Comments make me want to tell Taeha, since very one think you're baddie, just go ahead and show them what a bad Taeha can really do. To be very honest, if Taeha really wants to play dirty, it doesn't look that hard for him to break YR & HJ apart if he wants to.
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39 Keanu
September 28, 2014 at 8:51 AM
Such a beautiful written story and smart discussion from the viewers. This drama is one of my favorite this year. I enjoy the storyline, the actings, OSTs and background musics, cinematography even the meaningful lines. All the casts are doing great job, but I'll give more credits to Eric. Kang Tae Ha is such kind of complicated person. He has multi dimensional and different emotions every episodes. He is professional strict CEO, cute younger Tae Ha, flirty-sexy-cool-crazy side, desperate in love, teary-crying baby side…and like Dramallama mentioned in this episode he needs to express the broken heart scene without saying much words. But he did a great job. Eric's acting is no joke. I feel sorry for him in the beginning and last scenes but laughed so hard when watching the scene he piggy back drunk Yoon Sol.
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40 Jojo
September 28, 2014 at 8:36 PM
Another QSS in making??? I hope not..... I am really shipping KTH and HYM together.... Plsss.......
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41 xxvxx
September 29, 2014 at 3:53 AM
I've been saying this ever since this drama started, if you guys have so much unhappiness and frustration (and not the good kind - you all know what I mean lol) from watching, then don't watch it.
I love the fact that this drama does not have a cookie cutter good girl female lead, she's manipulative, she's candid, she's prideful, she knows what she wants and will get it no matter what. I like that about her. What Sol said to Tae Ha totally explains why Yeo Reum didn't want to share that Tae Ha is her ex. Tae Ha is their dark past, something that they didn't want to revisit anymore. I'm not sure if any of you have that before, but I do and I want to move on, I am sure the Trio wants to, as well.
Although I don't understand why Yeo Reum didn't just tell Tae Ha that her dad passed away, I get that she just wants to see if he is willing to pay attention to her. She's feeling neglected and wants some attention. Regardless of the situation. That was the last straw, hence the break up. It was inevitable..
All our leads have huge flaws and in need of therapy but I enjoy watching them, because they're relatable.
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42 phenny
September 29, 2014 at 9:58 PM
Eric's acting is so commendable. I have seen him in other dramas and I could say that he has improved a lot.
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