Discovery of Romance: Episode 11
by LollyPip
Tae-ha goes on a downward emotional spiral, as it hits him that he and Yeo-reum are really over. He can’t help but watch over her, even though it only makes him more miserable, and he’s starting to withdraw in a way that makes me worry for him. But it looks like things are about to be turned on their heads and the status quo won’t hold up much longer, and I can only hope that means that everyone’s about to get very honest.
EPISODE 11: “Staring out the window several times a day”
Yeo-reum comes home after her talk with Tae-ha, quiet and thoughtful, and takes the box of keepsakes he gave her to her room. She starts to open it but thinks about how he said they should really break up for good now, and closes the box again. She thinks more of how Tae-ha genuinely wished her happiness, and a tear falls.
Yeo-reum sadly tells Sol and Joon-ho at dinner that Tae-ha broke up with her, and her friends are baffled by her statement and her tears. Sol points out the obvious, that they broke up five years ago, and Yeo-reum only nods morosely. She sniffles over her ramyun until they crack and yell at her to either stop crying or make some sense.
Tae-ha and Director Yoon go for drinks where Tae-ha tells him about his conversation with Yeo-reum, saying that he even shocked himself. He no longer feels obsession or possessiveness for Yeo-reum, which tells him that he finally truly loves someone. He figures Yeo-reum is probably relieved.
Yeo-reum, meanwhile, is cursing him out for making her cry when she doesn’t even really know why she’s crying. Later, Tae-ha sits in his car outside her workshop, and watches Yeo-reum through her window.
Back at his place, Tae-ha says to himself that he gave Yeo-reum everything, but there’s one thing she doesn’t know about — a pair of rings he’d bought five years ago. He had meant to propose to her on their trip back to the island where they’d met, only Yeo-reum had broken up with him before they got to their destination.
When Yeo-reum goes to bed, she can’t keep her eyes from straying towards the keepsake box, and she takes it outside to burn it. She gets as far as building a fire, but she can’t go through with it, and takes it back inside.
Ha-jin and Ah-rim talk on his office roof, and discover that they’ve both always dreamed of being volunteers overseas. Ah-rim assumes that’s why Ha-jin is interested in fixing her scar, and he doesn’t correct her. Ah-rim says she’d also like to study abroad, and Ha-jin offers to pay for it because he also got help when he was in school, and he’d like to pay it forward.
Sol and Yeo-reum take delivery of some wood the next day, but Yeo-reum says it’s not the wood she and Tae-ha picked out. She asks Sol to talk to Director Yoon, so she calls him on speaker phone, and he’s also on speaker phone with Tae-ha in the room on his end. Yoon explains the mix-up but before they can hang up, Tae-ha asks Yoon if Sol said where Yeo-reum is right now.
Sol and Yoon both keep the line open, and the girls overhear Tae-ha ask Yoon to ask Sol (sheesh, it’s a literal game of Telephone) if Yeo-reum is okay. Yoon makes a big production of saying loudly into the phone that no, he won’t ask, and that Tae-ha should know she’s fine because he checks on her every night at her workshop. Sneaky.
That night Ha-jin surprises Yeo-reum, taking her back to his place to cook dinner together. As they eat, Ha-jin says he likes feeling comfortable with Yeo-reum this way, but she says she doesn’t like it when a relationship loses too much tension. Ha-jin argues that being comfortable makes you care for each other more, but Yeo-reum thinks that no relationship stays the same over time.
Ha-jin counters that that won’t ever happen to them, because no matter what happens they never even talk about breaking up. Yeo-reum pessimistically tells him that change is inevitable, as she thinks of the arguments that led to her and Tae-ha’s break-up, and she says that it doesn’t matter how much you love someone — the changes will happen.
Ha-jin correctly guesses that that’s happened to her in the past, and that she loved someone very much and got hurt (he still doesn’t know that Yeo-reum and Tae-ha dated). Yeo-reum denies it, and he promises her that they won’t get sick of each other and they’ll never break up.
That night in bed, Yeo-reum sleeps through her phone alert and Ha-jin sees that it’s Tae-ha texting her, asking if she’s asleep. Tae-ha meanwhile, rolls around on his living room floor, berating himself for sending the text. Yoon finds him still there the next morning, face-down on the carpet wallowing in self-inflicted misery.
At breakfast, Ha-jin tells Yeo-reum that she got a text in the middle of the night and wonders why she’s getting texts from men at all hours, again noting that Tae-ha used banmal. Yeo-reum guesses he must have been drunk or texted her in error, but Ha-jin’s hackles are up and he’s not buying it this time.
Yoon gets Tae-ha up and moving, and has to take his phone away to keep him from staring at it willing Yeo-reum to answer. The phone rings and they both freeze when they see that it’s Ha-jin, and Yoon hangs it up when Tae-ha can’t answer because he’s too busy trying to crawl inside the refrigerator.
Yoon texts Ha-jin as if he were Tae-ha, saying he’s in a meeting, but Ha-jin thinks it’s too early for a meeting and he calls again. Ha, you’d think the phone were made of lava the way Tae-ha is scared to even touch it. Ha-jin finally resorts to texting him back, and demands an explanation of why Tae-ha texted Yeo-reum last night. Poor Tae-ha just bails and leaves Yoon to figure it out.
Yeo-reum calls Ha-jin childish, again saying that Tae-ha probably just drunk-texted her. Ha-jin is out of steam in the face of her logic and backs off, though Yeo-reum can’t help but look at her phone to see if Tae-ha might text again.
Ha-jin takes Yeo-reum to her bus stop where she asks when Ah-rim’s friends’ treatment will be over, and when he’ll tell her the thing he said he needed to tell her. He promises it will be soon, and asks for a kiss, but she says he was in the wrong so he should kiss her first. He does, but they both think to themselves that they really weren’t in the mood to initiate a kiss. Ha-jin asks Yeo-reum on an overnight trip that weekend, and she agrees, though things seem awkward between them.
When she gets to her workshop, Yeo-reum starts to answer Tae-ha’s text several times but deletes it each time. She finally settles on a blunt, “Don’t ever send me a text like this again.” She goes into interview mode to tell us that if he wants her to be happy, he should be happy too, and she doesn’t know why he’s doing this.
Also in interview mode, Tae-ha tells us that he knows it was wrong, but that if she knew how Ha-jin was texting him, she should have at least called or texted to check on him. Yeo-reum argues that he should date other women, because he’s a good catch and a good boyfriend, and he’s matured lately and seems to know what love is. She tells the mysterious interviewer to tell Tae-ha to go date.
Tae-ha says to forget it, and that Yeo-reum should worry about herself. He insists he’s fine as long as she’s happy with Ha-jin. Hee, I kind of love this weird way of arguing.
Director Yoon bounces out of the office to catch Sol after a meeting, to invite her to a company workshop that weekend. Her coworkers urge her to accept and she does, earning a sunny grin from Yoon.
That night, Sol and Joon-ho arrive home to find Eun-gyu waiting for Sol with a big bouquet of flowers. Joon-ho tries to tell him to leave but Sol just asks Joon-ho to go in the house. He leaves them with a warning that a man who makes you cry once will do it again, and hides behind a bush to eavesdrop (muttering that Eun-gyu probably bought the flowers with a coupon, HA).
Eun-gyu offers Sol a genuine apology for the way he broke up with her, and for pretending not to know how she felt about him. He says he feels bad for all of his actions that hurt her, including calling the police on her. He asks if she can consider those things to be errors that helped him realize his feelings for her.
We don’t see Sol’s answer, but we do see her arranging the flowers in a vase later, to Joon-ho’s frustration. He frowns at the flowers and the tiny pine tree that Yoon gave to her, and not-at-all-casually asks if Sol has feelings for either man — while in his head, he wills her to say that she actually likes him.
Sol says it doesn’t matter, since they’re both Twelves, which makes Joon-ho whine about her having three Twelves. She says she’s just going to date them and decide later, since it takes at least three dates to find out if you like someone.
Joon-ho does the math and wails that she can’t date either of them, because then what will he do every night? Sol orders him gone and he leaves, but only after knocking the rest of her flowers on the floor. So childish and cute.
Ha-jin and Yeo-reum take a ferry to their weekend getaway, taking dorky selcas and enjoying the sights. Meanwhile Sol and Tae-ha stand on a very familiar-looking pier and Sol sidles up to him, saying that just this once she’ll tell him if he asks after Yeo-reum. She takes glee in telling him about her trip with Ha-jin, and advises him to get on with his life.
Tae-ha, Yoon, Sol, and the company have fun playing games while Yeo-reum and Ha-jin bike around the island, unaware that they’re all in the same place even though they pass within feet of one another. Ha-jin gets thoughtful at one point, remembering that Ah-rim told him that love has no meaning if you can’t share your deepest feelings.
He brings up his trip to the orphanage, and tells Yeo-reum that he heard about a boy and girl that were so close they could have been siblings, but that the girl was to be adopted so they ran away. The boy ended up being adopted by that couple instead, and asks if she thinks the boy was horrible. Yeo-reum says that he wasn’t, because his life depended on it.
Cryptically, Ha-jin asks why Yeo-reum likes him, and she gives her standard answer — he’s a good person. Nervously, he asks what if he weren’t a good person, or even a doctor, would she still like him? She says that she’s not that shallow, but Ha-jin half-jokes that it seems like she doesn’t like him as much as he likes her. Yeo-reum says that’s not true, because she knows how it feels to be the one who loves more, and Ha-jin is mollified with a kiss.
Stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper, Sol is forced to appeal to her stall-neighbor for a handout, and her voice is recognized by Yeo-reum. Sol is delighted to tell Yeo-reum that Tae-ha is here, and that he froze up when he found out she was away for the weekend with Ha-jin. Sol says that Tae-ha looks awful and comes to work reeking of alcohol every day, and that if Yeo-reum is worried she should check on him.
Ha-jin is approached by one of Tae-ha’s employees who recognizes him as Yeo-reum’s boyfriend, and he invites them to come play a game with them at their campsite. Ha-jin is about to decline but Sol and Yeo-reum arrive, and Sol overrides their objections.
When they get to the campsite, Tae-ha doesn’t greet them and only exchanges a curt nod with Ha-jin. Yoon acts as MC for a game where he plays a song, and the first person to guess the year it came out, the album name, and the track number on the album, wins a prize.
The first song plays, and both Tae-ha and Yeo-reum freeze when they recognize it. They’re thrown back to a memory, when Yeo-reum had been working late and Tae-ha texted her that her favorite song was on the radio, and the DJ had read a message on the air from Tae-ha to Yeo-reum. He’d texted her to come downstairs, where he waited with flowers saying that he missed her, and they’d shared long slow kisses in the hallway.
Tae-ha and Yeo-reum lock eyes over the bonfire, and the pain in Tae-ha’s eyes is frankly hard to look at. Tae-ha wonders to himself when their love had changed. The song ends, and Yeo-reum wins the prize for knowing the song.
The next question is to guess what meaning the cherry tree flower holds, which also resonates with Yeo-reum and Tae-ha since their couple rings had been made of cherry wood. They both remember that Yeo-reum mentioned that the cherry tree flower means “only one love,” and Yeo-reum raises her hand and wins the prize again.
The last question is to name a certain famous tree, which Tae-ha and Yeo-reum also know because he’d mentioned it on their first date and asked her to go there with him. Yeo-reum wins the third prize, and seems to be having fun while Tae-ha only sinks deeper into his thoughts.
After the party everyone parts ways, and Yeo-reum thinks that she’d wanted to tell Tae-ha, just once, that she hasn’t forgotten the good memories with him. Tae-ha sits alone by the dying fire, lost in the past.
Yeo-reum’s mom wraps up a meeting with her team (whoa, that’s a jarring change of tone) and Producer Bae hangs back to sigh that he’s sad. He says that he’s fine with the woman from his meeting not being interested in him, but he can’t understand why Mom doesn’t have any feelings for him.
He says that he likes her and asks if she can like him back, but she says she hates dating and feels sorry for people in relationships. She says she likes being too old for all the havoc of dating. Bae doesn’t like that answer and chases her into the hall to ask what age has to do with it, and tells her that she likes him or at least she doesn’t hate him, and that’s enough for him.
He says one more time that he likes her, and asks her to live with him, and employees start popping out of doorways to congratulate them. Mom flees the applause, while Bae soaks it all in. Too cute.
Back on the island, Tae-ha wanders the campgrounds thinking about how Yeo-reum said that whoever loved most is the weaker person. But he disagrees — he thinks you find out who’s weak and who’s strong after you break up. The one who loved the most is stronger, because they put every ounce of effort into trying, which leaves them with no regrets.
He thinks how all he did was receive love, and now he only has regrets, and when that happens you’ll never be able to forget the other person. The strong person loves as much as they can, and does as much as they can, which is what makes them strong. Just like Yeo-reum.
He stops when he sees Yeo-reum standing on the opposite side of a bridge, as if he’d wished her there. Without a word he turns to go, but her words stop him: “Can’t you be happy?” She warns him not to lie, because she knows he’s not okay. She says that, just like he wants her to be happy, she wants him to be happy too.
We see all the times Tae-ha had watched Yeo-reum, thinking she couldn’t see him, but she’d known he was there every time. They had even sat on either side of the dark window of her workshop, so close but so far, Tae-ha unaware that Yeo-reum was only inches away.
Her voice starting to crack, Yeo-reum asks why Tae-ha keeps coming to look for her. “If you keep looking for me like that, I start to wait for you.” Tae-ha turns back to her, and Yeo-reum’s face is streaming with tears as she cries, “Do you know how many times I look out the window every day?!” Her knees give out and she collapses, sobbing.
Still having not said a word, Tae-ha slowly approaches and reaches a hand down to comfort Yeo-reum. But before he touches her, a voice calls out her name — it’s Ha-jin, and he’s seen everything.
COMMENTS
Oof. That last scene was tough to watch, as everyone’s feelings were laid out on the table. It’s interesting that, until I thought about it, I didn’t even notice that Tae-ha never said a word for nearly the entire second half of the episode. His expressions were just so raw and loud, it seemed like he was screaming his feelings even as he withdrew and shut down. He didn’t need to say a word because everything was right there on his face — I would be remiss if I didn’t say how very impressed I am with Eric’s ability to say volumes and make me cry, just with his eyes.
I feel so bad for Tae-ha, because for the first time in his life, he’s willing to sacrifice his own happiness for someone else’s even though it means his own abject misery. It’s bad enough to lose someone you love, but to lose them knowing that it’s largely because of your own actions, then to have to watch them make a new life with someone else, has got to be absolute torture. For a man like Tae-ha, who is used to crooking his finger and having what he wants, the worst feeling has got to be that there’s truly nothing he can do. Despite all his earlier confidence that Yeo-reum should come back to him, he’s having to come to terms with the thought that Yeo-reum may actually be happier with Ha-jin.
But it looks like that particular house of cards is starting to fall apart, and both Yeo-reum and Ha-jin are starting to feel the strain. They’ve built a relationship on little more than liking each other a whole lot and getting along pretty well, but I’ve yet to see them have even one deep conversation or talk about their actual feelings for each other. This is just my opinion, but to me they seem more like very good friends than people deeply in love who want to share their lives. Every time there’s a conflict, they just kiss and make up without ever really dealing with the problem, which is quite a problem in itself. Their relationship is cute, but shallow, since neither one of them can tell the other about their most important life-defining events — Ha-jin’s adoption and search for his childhood friend, and Yeo-reum’s previous relationship and traumatic break-up.
Half of that issue might solve itself — Ha-jin is smart and it won’t take long for him to put the clues together and figure out that Tae-ha is the great love in Yeo-reum’s past. Things are about to change in a great big explosive way, and to be honest I’m looking forward to it. It’s time for all of these people to start talking to each other, really talking about the important things, and work out what they actually want and not just what they think they should want. I’m guessing they’re all going to be surprised by the answer.
RELATED POSTS
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 10
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 9
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 8
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 7
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 6
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 5
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 4
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 3
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 2
- Discovery of Romance: Episode 1
Tags: Discovery of Romance, Eric, featured, Jung Yumi, Sung Joon
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1 Lily
September 24, 2014 at 8:16 AM
Eric's acting is impressive. As Lollypip said he doesn't need to say a word to show how painful he felt.
Anyway, I hope Kang Tae Ha find his happiness in the end of this series because he really deserves it, with or without Han Yeo Reum. Honestly, after watching episode 12, not sure how actually Yeo Reum's feeling towards him. So, I just wanna see him happy at the end after going through those heart breaking scenes which I think already too much for him.
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2 Phi
September 24, 2014 at 8:26 AM
This episode makes me cry more than I did for EP.10. It's a good sob since we see the characters' true feelings.
And that hallway kiss scene is HELLA HOT!
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3 BedeliaJane
September 24, 2014 at 8:27 AM
I agree with you, Lily! Great acting by the cast.
On another note, I like Dir Yoon! He's not really good looking but he has a certain charm. First saw him in Nine. Loved him in there too!
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bd5
September 24, 2014 at 11:01 AM
Actually think the actor who plays Dir. Yoon is more handsome than Eric in certain respects.
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 3:01 PM
Dir. Yoon is cute and has his own charms that are different than Eric or Sung Joon or Hyun Min. As for handsomeness, I still thing Eric is handsomer than Dir. Yoon. :)
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4 harmonyfb
September 24, 2014 at 8:30 AM
Every time there’s a conflict, they just kiss and make up without ever really dealing with the problem
This. I get the feeling that once Ha Jin and Yeo Reum actually have one really deep, honest discussion, that relationship will collapse completely - and it'll be horrible and messy and the fallout will poison their future relationships for years.
After all, neither really knows anything about the other. They don't share information on their emotional states, they don't share information on their pasts, they don't share anything but a bed (occasionally).
Frankly, I don't think they come off as even close friends, because all of YR's friends all know her a helluva lot better than Ha Jin does.
(She & KTH actually appear to be close friends, because they say what they like to one another, while all the interactions with HJ appear strained - or HJ seems to be 'managing' or manipulating her.)
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Tieuco
September 24, 2014 at 2:26 PM
I agree with you, once the secret of both parties is out i think Ha Jin and YR will break up. YR just want this relationship to work out because her past one with TH didn't. If marriage is base on happiness with no truth then it won't last long cause the truth will eventually come out. My wish is that YR and TH get back together. I'm crossing my finger!
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5 Phi
September 24, 2014 at 8:35 AM
"She tells the mysterious interviewer to tell Tae-ha to go date." ~ Only if it's that easy as pushing a delete button and erase all the feelings. I'm kinda glad he didn't go on a dating spree shortly after that painful letting go of Yeoreum.
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6 samsooki
September 24, 2014 at 8:44 AM
Hi Lollypip! Thank you so much for the recap.
I have to part ways with you (slightly) on KTH though.
I think KTH is not sacrificing his happiness by letting HYR go. KTH doesn't really have a choice in the matter, because HYR is free to like him or not, like NHJ or not, or like neither (or not).
KTH's misery is due to the fact that he loves someone deeply, someone whom he had taken for granted and hurt, and that someone has apparently moved on. KTH's misery is not something within KTH's control, unless he somehow grows a new heart and decides to move on.
While it is torture for KTH (and for HYR, apparently, who feels trapped that she cannot go to KTH to explore what has to be a re-kindling of emotions), that's not really within KTH's ability at this point to control. KTH's soul is linked to HYR, and that's just what happens when your soul is linked to someone who is moving on.
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hipployta
September 25, 2014 at 12:38 AM
I agree with everything but the soul linking...though their 5 year relationship did create a serious bond
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7 samsooki
September 24, 2014 at 8:48 AM
JYM's voice at the end, so husky and pregnant with emotion - I am so impressed by the women in this drama.
AAR - her acting has been understated and underused, but she's got a well of emotion that has yet to be tapped.
KSG - her comedic chops plus her emotional side has been both brilliant and moving.
and JYM - she has really owned the role of someone who has been hardened by failed love and being buffetted by reality, and now pushes back against anything and anyone (friends, potential rival, boyfriend, ex-bf) who threatens her sense of self.
love this drama.
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nomad
September 24, 2014 at 9:12 AM
Agreed on the acting on this drama. Awesome for all people involved.
Sometimes I have such a hard time watching this drama because of all of the raw emotions. Part of me believe that yes, that's how some people would react in real life. Hell, I wish my action would follow what my head tells me ALL the time. Sadly though, that's not the case (in mine, and really for most people involved in this drama).
Yeo-Rum's eyes when she talks to KTH in the end just stabs me. I bet her head is telling her, "Don't say it! Don't say eeetttt!" Yep. She said it anyway.
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samsooki
September 24, 2014 at 11:06 AM
Don't say which? Which part should HYR NOT have said?
The conversation at the end:
KTH: [Turns away]
HYR: Can't you just be happy?
KTH: ...
HYR: And don't think about lying by saying that you are happy.
KTH: ...
HYR: I know that you're not doing okay.
KTH: ...
HYR: You said to me that you wished that I would be happy, didn't you... I also... I want that you would be happy too. ...but... but why do you keep coming around looking for me? ...you should just do well to live your own life, I'm asking why do you keep looking for me?
If you keep coming back and looking for me [like that]...
...then I...
...then that will make me start to wait for you [to show].
KTH: [Turns around and faces HYR]
HYR: Do you know how many times a day I look out the window [to see you]?
KTH: Glad we had this talk. Got a lot off my chest, thanks.
***
Aside from the last line, which may or may not have been in the drama, I was SHOCKED when HYR said that the fact that KTH keeps showing up has made HYR start to wait for him to show.
I was like WUT....
then I was like wow, that's like a confession or something. Then HYR was like, Kang Tae Ha, you're all like killing me and stuff because now I'm dying from having too many handsome guys who like me and stuff.
So, BASED SOLELY on the above conversation/soliloquy, is HYR confessing that she still loves KTH?
Or is HYR saying that KTH is making HYR all confused and stuff?
Or is HYR saying that HYR is just sad for KTH and that's what is making her sad. You know, how, like, if you see a ouchie puppy with a thorn in its paw, you are all like, "poor puppy!" like that?
Questions questions...
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bbstl 🧹
September 24, 2014 at 2:49 PM
-> KTH: Glad we had this talk. Got a lot off my chest, thanks.<-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA and then TH walks away.
That would have been very funny, esp as interpreted by HJ.
Personally, I heard the "that will make me start to wait for you" as YR totally caving in for TH. But I guess she'll deny (to herself and HJ) that that's what it meant for a couple of episodes.
I thought one of the best lines in this ep was Producer Bae telling Mom that she thinks other people need relationships but she doesn't because she's smarter than everyone else.
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 3:11 PM
Because how it came out, my interpretation is she still lot of feelings for TH... If she didn't have any feeling for TH, she wouldn't say that while breaking down and crying... And the way she looking sadly at TH when HJ called her says something
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nomad
September 24, 2014 at 3:28 PM
Samsooki--
Of course, this is me self-projecting. But the voice in my head would've said "not to say" HYR confession in the end where she said "That will make me start to wait for you". I agree with @bbstl when she said she believes it as YR caving in for TH (I'm guessing you're a girl, bbstl! Sorry if I'm wrong).
I know YR would never admit that she's confessing at that point. But KTH is way smarter than that…he memorizes the whole entire confession anyway. (wait…did this happen in ep 12 or 11? sorry if it's a spoiler)
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 4:41 PM
@nomad, that last part is EP.12 :D
bbstl 🧹
September 24, 2014 at 7:23 PM
Hi nomad :) *offers secret girl handshake*. I also thought "oh god, now you've said it auuuughhhhhh!" when
YR said she would start waiting. It sounded to me like the walls around her heart crashing down. That's it, there's no going back now, game over! Because that little comment is an unstoppable train that TH will ride right back into her life. Not that I see that as a bad thing.
8 LizJ
September 24, 2014 at 8:53 AM
So...how many episodes is this show? I was watching ep. 12 only partially subbed, and I thought...this is the end. Or was it?
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samsooki
September 24, 2014 at 4:47 PM
I believe the set episode number is 16.
Extensions are possible of course.
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9 alua
September 24, 2014 at 9:24 AM
<He no longer feels obsession or possessiveness for Yeo-reum, which tells him that he finally truly loves someone.
Yeah, except that if you let someone truly go, you don't continue to watch over them and sit outside their workshop or text them in the middle of the night.
<Without a word he turns to go, but her words stop him: “Can’t you be happy?” She warns him not to lie, because she knows he’s not okay.
Of course he's not going to be okay, it's been days since he decided to give her up completely. To tell him to date someone else NOW or be happy NOW is silly... leave the guy alone, let him get over things, don't insist he must smiling right now. He CAN be happy, but, jeez, it's not going to be instantaneous. Give the guy some time and distance.
I still can't ship anyone in these pairings.
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youcallitwinter
September 24, 2014 at 11:28 AM
But I think there's a difference in not being okay or happy and sitting outside her workshop and asking about her and texting her at 4 in the morning. Like, YR is not the one who's not giving him time and distance or not leaving him alone, but he's kind of doing it to himself re:her, which is what she means by "be happy". She doesn't expect it to be instantaneous, but he's not making it easy on himself by torturing himself in this way, which isn't going to help in the least in getting over her.
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alua
September 24, 2014 at 11:42 AM
Of course he's doing it to himself! He's still exhibiting behaviour that classifies as possessive/obsessive, just that he's decided he's not going to pursue her anymore. He's just... watching her instead. *rolls eyes*
Yeah, probably she is not expecting it to be instantaneous, I hope so at least.
Still think they are likely to end up together since the drama is play with both of them having feelings still and also since she's making no effort with her current relationship (and HJ not either of course).
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youcallitwinter
September 24, 2014 at 12:28 PM
Yeah, the 'watching' scenes esp the one with them sitting on each side of the glass door were filmed so beautifully, but I was still pretty :O over them, because that is not exactly acceptable behavior.
I'm confused now post 12, I have to say, re: HJ/YR. Initially I thought as you said, but now I suspect the drama is going to play with us till the very last moment! Or, well considering that this is the INR team, I think I might agree with you anyway! They're very habituated to a certain kind of ending, heh.
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Sarang
September 26, 2014 at 7:22 AM
Everything takes times and need process. It will be weird if Tae Ha (who's in this case is still madly in love with YR) said 'let's break up' with teary but looking cheerful, behave like nothing happen and start dating on the next day….XD
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owl 🦉 🫰
September 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM
ranting away: That's what I kept thinking throughout the episode, that even after he said he no longer was obsessed and possessive, he actually truly is. I can't ship anyone either*, and where is YR's head at? At least, please at least don't agree to attend the company outing with your ex present which happens to be where you and your boyfriend are spending a weekend together. Or is she physically with Ha-jin and emotionally with TH?
If ever the kdrama saying "You made me sick and now you want to be my medicine" applied, it is here between TH and YR.
BTW "Let's break up properly" after 5 years and when you did break up before falls under wtf in my book.
Also - YR and Ha-jin have major baggage from their past which has unpacked itself in their present and neither is dealing with this very well. YR - what about boundaries? Even if you do fall for TH again, keep a healthy distance until you can work through what is happening and decide for yourself if you do or don't want to start again.
*I am shipping Sol and Joon Ho. I really like him in this - a role which is similar in ways to his character in Witch's Romance.
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alua
September 24, 2014 at 12:35 PM
<BTW “Let’s break up properly” after 5 years and when you did break up before falls under wtf in my book.
Falls under wtf in my book too (as it does in 9 Plus Boys, with Kwang-soo's view of his not-really-break-up... total wtf after 10 years of no-contact???)
I think none of them has really heard of the word boundaries... it sort of seems like they want to rub salt into their own wounds sometimes. I mean, we're all flawed and all make mistakes, but even a little bit of sane distance goes a loooong way.
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August
September 24, 2014 at 7:55 PM
My Secret Hotel (@ 7 years) should be added to the list of no-contact but now I want you back with Plus Nine Boys (@ 10 years) and Discovery of Romance (@ 5 years).
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alua
September 25, 2014 at 1:13 AM
I think we can add a good chunk of dramas to the no-contact-for-years-but-I-want-you-back-now list – every drama from MNIKSS to Witch's Romance has that (though more often with a second lead that eventually stands no chance). I never get these kind of scenarios (people putting their life on hold and thinking that world around them has stopped, so that they can pick up right where they left off), but at least in My Secret Hotel no one's saying "We didn't break up". Then again, they got fake-married to save the reputation of a hotel (who would do that?!), and one of them is insisting he did it for real. And the other one isn't even protesting much. Who would go along with such crazy games?
dio
September 24, 2014 at 1:22 PM
I disagree about the "let's break up properly" scene. Of course they were already broken up. When he says "let's break up properly", i don't believe it's with any assumption that she's been unable to get over him romantically all this time, or that he still has some type of claim on her that he's now relinquishing. I took it to mean that he knows that she's held onto her anger and bitterness towards him all these years and that how their relationship went is impacting the way she's going about her relationship with HJ. He's trying to have them part on more amicable terms (and with more closure) and asking her to give HJ a real chance now - to open herself up to him, especially about her father. At the same time, he's also making it clear that he's finally deciding to end his selfish pursuit of her...that he finally understands why they broke up and that he blames himself for it.
Also, while i think he is still obsessed with her in a way, he's definitely no longer possessive.
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mookie
September 24, 2014 at 2:42 PM
I completely agree with you, dio. I am shocked it is wtf to some if closure has not been attained and wounds were never tended to...no matter how many years later. What TH meant was YR should not even harbor hate towards him, he should be a nobody to her from now on, out of her life completely.
@owl
It is one thing to make a decision, set your mind to it, and another to be able to pull it through, pull yourself out of the misery, baby steps. TH has already cut off any chances of them seeing each other, even professionally, and what he does in his privacy, even being a stalker he thought he was not intruding YR's life wallowing, it is too harsh to ask him to click a finger and all his feelings tidied and boxed up to be discarded. He made the drunk text of 2 characters, but he was beating up himself very hard afterwards. I see a will he is so determined not allowing himself any leeway to be the possessive/obsessed ex he used to.
YR did not agree to go to the TH's company outing, she was dragged to the bonfire game by the neck almost by Sol. Yes, she can fight Sol off and not show face, BUT from Sol, TH already knew she is having a romantic getaway with HJ at the exact spot...and YR is a human being, she is allowed to feel sth, a mix of be it compassion, care, concern towards TH whom she has changed impression of from his growth and actions. She is so worried about how he is doing, and also there would be an element of her trying to put on a face of normalcy with HJ, ie 'I am doing well, TH', she is happy hoping it would be some kind of relief to TH. I do not see any of the cynical rubbing salt on his wounds, rubbing it in his face, none. That was so ep5. That is not the YR we are dealing with now.
There are curveballs in life, YR did not expect the games to be so emotional a trip down memory lane for her and TH, and thus she could not sleep over the urge to walk it off, she did not expect to bump into TH at the bridge, she did not have a GPS on his body, seeing him unable to sleep, adding the fuel her witnessing him in so much palpable woe at the bonfire, she wanted to say what's on her mind, these two seems to be able to do so every time, where is the time to sort out anything with HJ in that trajectory?!
Lest we missed it, what was on her mind, she had expressed it fluently, emotionally to TH, when he was still trying to smile at her, all bittersweet, over the song, so much was said in those moments they locked eyes at the bonfire:
Clearly YR remembers their sweet memory instantaneously, it takes her by surprise she is so affected, her face is raw and honest to TH saying so. TH can not know if she had go through the content of the memento box, but I doubt there is a keepsake for this, yet she can retrieve it right away every bit of it, down to their passionate kiss, me and TH are betting so. Both of them are so immersed in the memory, expressing to the other with their eyes they were so in love, the rue it had...
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alua
September 24, 2014 at 3:12 PM
It's wtf that he's talking about "breaking up" now when they broke up years ago.
That he's still got feelings to resolve, is another matter. If he meant to say "I've finally decided to let go of my feelings for you", he should have said that, not "Let's break up". Well, it could be that he said something else in Korean, or the writers just wanted to make it sound overly dramatic.
I can't dismiss his stalking either, regardless of how professional he is at work, what he does in private matters too. You don't sneakily watch people from a car to check up on them. It doesn't matter that he isn't 'intruding', it's still stalking.
By the way, I did not mean rubbing salt into the other person's wounds – but into their own. Because I would avoid hanging out with someone I had a messy situation like this and I'd tell Sol, who should know better anyhow than to insist (its not like she doesn't know a thing about the situation).
mookie
September 24, 2014 at 3:41 PM
@alua, what if the point he is exactly trying to get across is he is admitting to his residual feelings for her, as in he has not stopped loving her however ignorantly now knowing what love actually means on his prideful part, all these years but is finally letting go, thus breaking up?! He has a right to put what is most poignantly expressing what is exactly going on with him.
It is stalking, he is not proud of it, he was betting on it won't be noticed by anyone, especially not YR. The law may have a say un this, but as viewer of a drama I do not think it is offensive because she has a workshop opened to the public, anyone can drive by and he was lingering afar and never causing any physical disturbance to YR...he would not even allow himself to stop and approach her front door if the lights are not off and he can rest assure she is not present...thus him intruding in her face. We have to do whatever we have to do mourning a relationship, he can not stop missing her terribly and if that is all he does and it helps however little as a nightcap, I will care to dismiss him.
It is exactly because Sol knows about the situation, and Sol operates on her own rulebook in love anyways, she sees it as healing for them to still see each other instead of stewing in so much worry and concern. YR came home crying hysterically saying tears keep falling not knowing why. YR must have many restless nights mulling over that box, and I doubt it is missing Sol. Just by keeping them away from an open chance to confront is not doing enough to move things along when TH is beyond miserable missing YR and stalking her, EXACTLY what Sol went through. Sol could've guessed YR is aware with the staying behind for 'work' alone, let alone the perturbed but not shocked face as dir Yoon was making a show of the obvious over the phone.
alua
September 25, 2014 at 1:28 AM
@mookie
I don't know how you define "break up" but for me "break up" is when a relationship ends, even if only one side wants that end. That feelings continue beyond the break-up is another thing.
It doesn't matter that he isn't proud of the stalking – probably many stalkers aren't. It's just wrong. He's still on the relatively harmless side, but that doesn't make it right. He's crossing a line and we have no idea what he might go on to do. Of course, this being a drama and because the writers are likely to make TH and YR a fated couple, or, minimally, portray TH as a good guy, nothing will happen. But in real life, I wouldn't want to take my chances.
<We have to do whatever we have to do mourning a relationship
That doesn't give us a free pass to do anything and everything though. A couple (but no more than a couple) of drunken phone calls, sure, but going to watch YR, no. Regardless of lights on or off, her noticing or not noticing. It's not okay, even if it's well meant and harmless. He needs to find other ways of mourning.
Sorry, I think Sol is being an insensitive friend. It's YR's business to decide whether she wants to confront TH and move things along. If Sol really thought a talk was needed, she needs to tell YR to do that, because quiz games with work colleagues are not going to make them resolve their problems. Then again, YR is an adult and should have just walked away.
mookie
September 25, 2014 at 12:35 PM
@alua
Going by your definition of 'breaking up' Did their relationship of any form, ie any connection, truly ended at 10 before his 'proper breakup'?! Just because they did not have contact nor seen each other for years in between they rekindled a connection off the bat even at the hotel, the hate YR harbored towards TH precipitated that dumping of water on him, let alone the everything that went on after YR was drunk. Physically they have broken up 5 years ago, with their baggage, residual feelings, TH can not consider their emotionally ties cut and he is the one speaking that term holding that opinion. By ep8, their relationship has rekindled into being frankest friends/confidantes which grew into YR regarding TH as her sole safe haven. True, YR has no interest in having a physical romantic relationship with TH, but emotionally TH has been filling a void HJ can not provide, that is why TH made a mention of him. I take the 'proper breakup' at 10 as an absolute severance fr TH pov. They can not even be friends because he can see YR on the verge of losing her resolve, depending on him, confiding in him more than she can with her bf and that can only harm their relationship, her happiness, which is TH's highest priority. I am convinced TH knew YR better than any of us can ever know her, I insist YR has rekindled a physical attraction, lost in a moment staring at his lips, which disgusted her, towards TH since his quite annoyingly suggestive scene at their first meeting at her workshop and their real kiss he stole later on. He did not miss picking up, that was part of what initiated his obsessive advances, not saying he was entitled to, but that was his observation.
tbvh I do not consider what he did stalking because it did not contribute to her unwanted harassment. If she is aware, he would have buggered off easy. If it did not cause her any bodily or mental harm, nothing threatening, nor put her in any fear, and most of all she did not consider it stalking, then it is so not, by definition.
As I have said YR could have walked out even with Sol's instigation, but she did not because she is the one who want to check on TH, her worry is taking over. She did refuse for a moment respecting HJ but her concern over TH was more urgent. Being a compassionate adult should exactly NOT walk away, they are not just strangers nor contrite exes, whether or not she and HJ showed face, TH would be stewing, aware they are together, she did not display any unnecessary PDA to hurt TH, she was trying her best at acting normal which she must've weighed to be the best solution tampering TH misery. You are clearly not YR and your decision on how to act has no basis on how she should act especially when she is so emotionally involved.
dio
September 25, 2014 at 12:55 PM
@alua
I guess, to me, you're just taking the phrase "break up" too literally. He's not so delusional that he in any way thinks that they are still together just because he wasn't able to get over her. They broke up back then regardless of the fact that he wasn't and still isn't over her...as well as the fact that she ended up begging him to take her back. It's just his way of giving them both some closure - it's not just about his feelings, she clearly needed closure too. There was so much left unsaid...and now that they finally get the chance to be honest and come to understand each other better...TH can hopefully truly get over YR, and YR can finally let go of her anger and bitterness and hopefully be more open with HJ (or any other future boyfriend). And just like his "stalking", it's a bit dramatized - this being a drama and all. The "stalking" is obviously meant to be sad and pitiful (although it definitely is weird by real life standards)...that's the way YR (and I) took it because she knows him well enough to be confident that he's not an actual threat to her well being or anything - he's just not taking things well. It's all just dramatically done, which is really just par for the course for k-dramas.
mookie
September 24, 2014 at 2:45 PM
... the rue it had changed to where they are at now, beyond the point of rekindling. YR deliberately plays it down with her enthusiastically answering the question accurately, trying to say to TH, she has moved on, she is happy and content with NHJ, even though she can remember what they had together...so please move on TH. Perhaps not as in the open between their silent yet passionate exchange is she can not move on with him so miserable, still so in love with her, trying so hard, too hard at letting go, I would rather credit YR's head working very wisely, even though she can not help by being uncontrollably stirred by someone she used to love, who is even more in love with her than when they were dating because now he understands what love is, too well. Now that the hate towards him is lifted, her will to stop caring and worrying about him is at its lowest. She needs to make a point to TH quite urgently he has to stop torturing himself over her, it haunts.
We even get a voiceover of her thought as she wistfully turns and checks on TH drowning in his own misery alone by the dying bonfire. And that is what stewing her into insomnia, not knowing if he realizes if she had her point across.
Moreover what is there to sort over with HJ, they always just shove things under the rug, kiss and make up...however less spontaneously now, their will to NOT break up is shockingly strong and that is what fueling YR's love with HJ with regard to how things crumbled with TH...even if she does not trust her will to stick with the relationship, she does trust HJ's.
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hipployta
September 25, 2014 at 1:06 AM
The break up thing was an absolute WTF moment for me...
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Hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 3:17 PM
He is still being all possesive though...what person won't feel bad if they see someone drunk everyday and watching them after a "break up"
Personally I don't feel bad for him, and neither should Yeoreum, because she went through all of that when they broke up
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dio
September 24, 2014 at 4:09 PM
I think me and you have very different definitions of the word "possessive".
Also, YR isn't seeing him drunk every day.
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 4:38 PM
@dio, tbh @Hipployta is on a hate Taeha-waggon (or perhaps personal experience like she/he mentioned) that anything Taeh does is wrong and completely twisted to her. Her definition of "possessive" is obviously different from mine too.
And yes, Taeha got drunk and cried in his own home, not in front of Yeoreum to make her feel pity for him and come back to him.
What would people want Taeha to do? Going after Yeoreum, people say he's selfish. He stops pursuing her, people say it's idiotic sacrifices. It's really hard to be Taeha I guess.
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10 Sarang
September 24, 2014 at 9:26 AM
In the remaining 4 episodes, I hope the writer could make Yeo Reum's character can distinguish between love and pity/mercy/sympathy. After watching last two episodes, 11 & 12, I could say what she feels towards Kang Tae Ha is what we call 'pure love' whether she accept it or not. But for Ha Jin, it seems more to pity/mercy towards him. It seems Yeo Reum see herself in Ha Jin's position when she was dating Tae Ha (the weak party). That's why I think she just have that kind of sympathy/pity feeling for him.
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vikayee
September 25, 2014 at 9:54 AM
That's a new angle for me, and I like it! I think that Yeo Reum has been struggling with knowing the difference between love and sympathy for both Tae Ha and Ha Jin--to her, they're one and the same. That's why her feelings toward them both are muddled. And that's why I'm looking forward for Ah Rim/Ha Jin's relationship to come to light. (I mean, I'm sure we can all agree that it's going to happen. Like this drama is NOT going to open that can of worms?) So far, Yeo Reum has felt guilty towards Ha Jin for hiding her past with Tae Ha and causing misunderstandings, but once she learns that Ha Jin's been doing the same thing, it'll put them back on equal footing. Once guilt is out of the equation, she'll have one less reason (however faulty) for staying in the relationship.
@harmonyfb, I completely agree with you! Although, even more than friends, I feel like they're two people who enjoy feeling adorable. Like, "Wow, look at the two of us cooking! We're acting so cute! We must be in love!" They definitely have the cute factor down, but it's meaningless when they don't talk to each other. Like, at all.
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Sarang
September 26, 2014 at 7:30 AM
Forgive me Ha Jin fans, but his behavior annoys me. He turns to possessive boy friend by clinging, calling and checking her girl friend so many times. Looks like a teenager has their first love…LOL.. He's an adult, 32 years old, a successful doctor, but what I see from first episode till now is figure of a big boy.
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11 jabrimo
September 24, 2014 at 9:45 AM
This show had me holding my heart in one hand and the my mind in other. one ep I go crying wishing the happiness, than the other wish them a Slap on the face. as much i am loving and understanding YRM feeling for HJ I really think she should work on her true feeling. because the look on her eyes tells us that she truly whole heartly LOVES KTH.....she feels pain when he is in pain. she can't sleep because she knows he is up somewhere. her mind and her heart are fighting her won emotion... we have to wait and see which one will win.
the MIND or the HEART. next week is too long. Time machine please
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12 Nahldia9
September 24, 2014 at 10:00 AM
The best thing about this show are the other characters Joon-Ho and Sol, the others are too immature to be acting the way they are. I don't have to wonder why they have issues dating and relating to each other. I don't understand women like Yeo-reum, they don't know what they really want until it's too late or they want the whole cake. She should have burned her keepsakes, that would have been her first step at moving forward.
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bd5
September 24, 2014 at 11:05 AM
Oh, c'mom - if that were the case, then there would be no show (or else it would be a real boring one).
And while the character of Sol is a fan fave, let's not forget that she has acted immature (even more so) by stalking her ex, trying to get him jealous, throwing a rock and breaking his window, etc. - so it's not like she doesn't have her issues as well (and if she didn't, she'd be boring too).
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 3:21 PM
@bd5 + one for this comment.
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13 Cinder
September 24, 2014 at 11:27 AM
I don't want to speak about Ep 12 yet but I just want to say; I feel like I have been very hasty about my comments on Discovery of Romance. Watching this drama, it made me realize how much more I still have to learn about human nature and all its complexities.
Watching these last two episodes especially made me realize there are always aspects to people that you like and those you dislike. I learned to appreciate each character, even Ah Rim who I originally rather detested, and forgive Ha Jin a bit.
I think this drama is about human imperfection. How people can perceive things wrongly, because it's impossible to see everything from another's point of view. Everyone in the drama has done wrong things, immature things. But I like how they grow up.
At first I said Ha Jin was unforgivable for not being truthful, but every one of the characters has had moments of being less than honest. And the way the drama is revealing the secret motivations of each character slowly made me realize how assuming is so dangerous.
I feel bad because it taught me that I personally can be really judgmental especially when it comes to Kdramas and I should think more from the other person's perspective.
But seriously guys, learn how to communicate with each other from now on please.
That being said, I now hope that all of our troubled heroes in Discovery of Romance finds happiness. Whether Yeo-Reum finds it with Tae Ha or Ha Jin, I think I trust the writers to make a satisfactory ending for this drama.
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 1:26 PM
Very well said Cinder. I also finished ep 12 with this strange feeling thinking to myself, 'Wow I almost dropped this show but now I am so glad I stayed'. At the beginning or just a few episodes ago I was also annoyed with certain things and I also hated Ah Rim, but half way ep 12 I realized the complexity of every character in this show. This does not happen very often, that I turn to change my feelings completely about a character or a show. The writer of this drama does it so well. He/she is able to tell us different aspects of one story in such an incredible sequence that when I get to see everything I realize how short sighted I was and I am glad that it took patience for things to finally make sense. I guess that's how it works in life as well. It takes time and patience to really understand people.
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14 Morgan
September 24, 2014 at 11:31 AM
Love this show; Agree that all of the actors are good especially Eric and Yeo. Hope they end up together even though its not looking like they will right now!!
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15 peaches
September 24, 2014 at 11:38 AM
yeoreum never told ha jin about her and tae ha's past relationship because she figured it was only for work and then once the project was over, she'd never have to see him again, so there would be no use in making him overly jealous- remember that sequence where her and sol imagined ha jin throwing a tantrum on the bed? she didn't want that to come between them even for a little while, because she didn't think tae ha was worth it. but now, it's even more difficult to tell ha jin the truth because of how much time has passed- it's just makes it all the more suspicious. so, even though it's frustrating, it's understandable.
i like this so much more than INR2012- there are so many similar elements, but the motivations and past are much better explained in this drama.
i love all of the characters except for ah rim, because she's such a typical poor girl character, alhtough she's been given a little more character in the past few episodes. i'm wishing that there was a way for sol to be in a relationship with both joon-ho and director yoon at the same time- an open relationship!
and eric's acting is a++, that innocent, vulnerable look with tears pooled in his eyes at the end was heartbreaking.
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16 bd5
September 24, 2014 at 11:45 AM
Another ep packed w/ realistic, heartfelt emotion.
All the emotions at the end of this ep was a killer (esp. the way Yeo-reum broke down at the end (Jung Yumi just killed it).
Have to say that am quite pleased w/ Eric's acting - seems quite a bit improved from just a few years ago, but I think a lot of that has to do w/ the quality of writing that he has to work with (seen him act quite decently in earlier stuff which had good writing).
Not quite up to the level of Jung Yumi (who can express emotions w/ just slight changes to facial expressions), but then again JY is among the best, but nevertheless, Eric is certainly showing that he is capable of much more than in the past.
Poor Dir. Yoon - he is mentor, subordinate, caretaker, food-bringer, hyung, emotional pillow, etc. to Tae-ha.
No wonder he hasn't had the time to settle down.
Really hope it's Dir. Yoon who ends up w/ Sol (probably not going to happen), but that storyline needs to get going (instead of continually being teased).
Good for Sol that she now has 3 guys after her after being a basket-case most of the time.
I guess the writer couldn't help but to fall for the K-drama coincidental meeting thing when company outing and Yeo-reum/Ha-jin getaway end up at the same place, but while it set up the emotional moment at the end (as well as a cute moment w/ Sol and Yeo-reum in adjacent stalls in the restroom), wish the writer hadn't gone this easy route (tho not nearly as bad as in numerous other K-dramas such as "Lie to Me" - where the writer kept using it badly).
Yeo-reum is stubbornly trying to go on w/ her relationship w/ Ha-jin, trying to deny her ever growing emotional reconnection w/ Tae-ha which really started after her panic/stress attack about her father.
In a way, can't blame her b/c Yeo-reum wants to do the "right thing" - stay in her current loving relationship, but deep down, she knows that her relationship w/ Ha-jin, while comfortable on its surface (aside from the recent turmoils which both try to lessen to varying degrees for the sake of the other) doesn't have nearly the emotional bond that Yeo-reum and Tae-ha have finally discovered in each other.
I think YR and HJ do love each other (or at the very least, think they do), but it's kinda a superficial love where the 2 (esp. YR) have built barriers and are trying to fit what they think is love within the artificial box that they have built.
Neither has felt comfortable in sharing their deepest pains w/ each other - tho on HJ's part, it may have to do more so w/ his mum than w/ him (since in his talk w/ his mother, he clearly states that he wants to be able to talk to someone about his past and that person most of all being YR).
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17 youcallitwinter
September 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM
I kind of think YR from now on (or perhaps since the beginning itself) is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. I'm still pretty :s at the hate she seems to generate. And I find it interesting in comparison to, say, how Sol is treated by the viewership, because I think it showcases how the tone of a particular scene determines how someone feels about a character. Sol has often exhibited the kind of behavior that, if exhibited by the female lead, would have her castigated universally; including clinging on to a guy who was a total jerk to her, stalking him, getting drunk and telling him that she wants him to see her unhappy and self-destructive, being unable to move on, telling the girlfriend of the guy to break up with him because she doesn't understand him (impliedly as well as Sol does), having a number of "twelves" etc. While YR has been hated on for almost the same things; being too clingy, leading the men on and the sort. The difference is mostly only that Sol's role is played for comic relief. None of the men have much of a reaction to her actions, in terms of being hurt by it including Director Yoon, which makes her clear the bar of being liked. They have the potential to be hurt by her actions, but because that isn't their story, they aren't. While with YR, because it's played dramatically with angst and tears, the sympathy for the male leads turns into dislike for the female lead.
I thought one of the most powerful lines on the show was YR telling TH that she was not responsible for his feelings. And that she needed to prioritize her feelings over his. And I think a lot of interpretation seems contingent on doing exactly the opposite of that, holding YR personally responsible for the feelings of the guys and then hating her when she doesn't react in a way that makes them feel better. Re: TH, I feel that YR has shown no actual interest whatsoever in getting back together with him. She has consistently held that she is with HJ. The only time she openly came close to wavering was when she told him that because he comes around so often, she's starting to wait for him (which I thought was a beautiful line). But apart from that, she hasn't ever made it seem through word or action that she wants to get back together. TH told her that "the sky would fall" and she would come back to him, but now that she still hasn't, he's understandably hurt; but again, this is on him. He individually started liking her again, he individually carried it forward (through giving her the job, deliberately running into her, confessing to her, etc.) and individually decided that they needed to break up, and individually still waits for her. These are choices he's made/is making and to hold YR responsible for them, for hurting him, when she didn't give him any indication that she wants to start over, seems prima facie unfair to me, no matter how great TH/YR are together (and they're pretty great.)
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mookie
September 24, 2014 at 3:06 PM
Zoe you are my soulmate companion watching DoL, haha of course that is more an individual choice of mine.
I should just cut and paste your post and pretend it is my thoughts...just want to add: I think YR wants TH in her life as a friend, and even though she is aware it is unrealistic at this time point, but I do not see her wanting the clean 'breakup' TH is suggesting they do. She chooses to respect his decision but that is also because she would have reached the same conclusion it is better for her...and for him. She genuinely wishes him well and happy instead of wanting to bite back and teach him some lesson just a few eps ago.
She even had the gall to admit she can remember their good memories, and yes they were sweet, but she has moved on. In their exchange over unchanging love, her read on what did not have to will was spot on, and while he was so frank getting his point across he just wanted to see her, she was on par telling him there was no chance, even when she could be nice to him making him honey tea.
And we should credit her for sorting out her feelings towards TH much better than even TH is crediting her. Yes she is harboring a hate towards him but she is not putting irrational blame on him. She had said it out loud once or twice she had never blamed TH over her Dad, obvious from sticking with TH for the month after, enough to go on a trip with him. But his neglect was real and his fault. She can hate him for that, she can associate him as a trigger for the grief over her Dad. But that has never been a hurdle for her to move on...and she is applying that knowledge to TH. Yes, what she had with HJ is not an ideal, but what was idealistic never last.
Also, she has stopped hating TH not because of all the swoonworthy deeds he did obsessing over her, it is because she has observed he is a worthy person and nothing he is doing now deserved her continuous animosity.
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mookie
September 24, 2014 at 3:18 PM
Typos:
* her read on what they did not have: the will, was spot on*
And what I meant by applying that knowledge to TH is what she is trying to urge him to move on by dating someone else. In some ways we have not give HJ credit for, his comfortable companionship as a bf is what YR needs to heal and move on from TH. She was not interested in dating at all postTH, from the blinddate JH set up for Sol and HJ, and that was 3, 4 years since breaking up with TH, that could not be moving on, too.
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Jang
September 24, 2014 at 3:07 PM
Yes! I find people's reaction to YR, who has had more pain caused to her than caused pain, so simple and pretty sexist. At this point I want her to heal from the pain caused by her father's passing, her useless jerk of an ex, and her disrespectful current boyfriend and just move on happily without all of that baggage.
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 3:37 PM
How is Taeha a "useless jerk of an ex"? If career wise, he's a hard working individual as well as a successful professional CEO who took his dad's small construction company to the one they have right now.
As for being the BF, he bough her a gift with his first pay check (which YR was even surprised he could find time during his crazy working hours). He request her favorite song to play on the radio. He made a surprise visit at her workplace with flowers and her favorite album to celebrate the 4th anniversary of their dating. He worked his butt off to plan for their future.... How is that useless or irresponsible of a boy friend?
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 4:29 PM
forgot to mention that once Taeha knew about Yeoreum's father passing he was able to find out the true cause of death while Yeoreum's BFF roomies can't all these years... that is "useless BF" eh?
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annie
September 24, 2014 at 4:52 PM
Totally agree with you how a lot of Sol's action's are just as problematic as Yeoreum's and that she doesn't get called out for it because she's the funny sidekick. In fact to take it a little further, we tend to be very hard on our female leads, more so than on male leads. As female viewers, we often complain about the pure, selfless Candy archetype - and I agree she can be annoying as hell - but we also tend to be extremely critical of a female lead when she makes mistakes/does things we consider wrong or unfair. Which makes sense on one level because she is our avatar in a sense and we want her to be relatable and to root for her; but on the other hand, it exposes a bit of a double standard because we usually aren't that hard on male leads. Especially if they're hot. Which I guess reflects on real-world dynamics between women and men too.
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youcallitwinter
September 25, 2014 at 5:14 AM
YES. EXACTLY THIS. I was trying not to rant too much on this subject- although clearly I failed, heh- but I am genuinely tired of how much more exceptional and perfect female characters have to be in order to be liked (as opposed to just plain hated), than the male characters, who literally get away with just being hot. And not objectively perfect either, but, impossibly enough, subjectively perfect, in terms of aspiration; i.e. how the female viewers feel like they would like to react in a particular scenario, whether it's being cool and composed or emotional and vulnerable, as opposed to how they might actually react, which, well, I guess it's in human nature to have an image of oneself. We'd all like to imagine that we wouldn't be clingy if dumped and self-destructive and stalker-like etc.
It is actually pretty strange to watch how much deeper into interpretation a lot of the viewership is willing to go into the emotional and mental state of the male characters to justify their actions than accept something which the female character says out loud. Another thing is that the female characters are often pitted against each other- which is definitely a real-world cultural correlation- to create a hierarchy. Which is why I chose to talk about the response to Sol. Because the popular opinion seems to be; not that Sol is a great character (which I whole-heartedly admit), but that Sol is so much better than Yeo-reum. As if the two are mutually exclusive. Instead of admitting that all the characters, being individual persons and reacting as thinking, speaking, feeling individuals have different ways of dealing with a situation, it's mostly "I don't understand why all these men are after YR because she's a bitch." Yeo-reum might, understandably enough, not be an exact correlative to any of us, and I too have found myself disagreeing with or disliking some of her statements and actions, but she's a fully fleshed-out character. I get why she does what she does, even if I don't agree with her and wouldn't have done the same myself; and in that, I consider her a huge success.
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selina
September 25, 2014 at 11:27 AM
@Zoe I agree with everything. I may to always like nor agree with everything Yeo Reum says or does, but she is one well written character. If some viewers would attention to her from the get go, and try to reflect on and understand her story as much as they have other characters, they will see her actions and behaviors have been pretty consistent with the type of woman and lover she has been established as being. I really dislike it when people call her cruel, a bitch, clingy, whiny, princess like, because is really none of these things. She's a woman who loved with her whole heart and being in her very first adult relationship. She feels she was very wronged and burned in said relationship so in her current relationship she has put up a certain wall and protective mechanisms in order to not get burned again. Now said lover from that relationship whom she believed she was over and is trying to stay over has comeback in her life and is shaking and conjuring up emotions and memories she believed herself over (but I think just in strong avoidance and denial over). With all this in mind, her behavior, actions, mistakes, etc are pretty understandable.
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youcallitwinter
September 25, 2014 at 5:29 AM
My touchstone for liking/disliking a character often enough is not how likeable/dislikeable a character is, in terms of their actions, but whether I feel that the show is aware of these qualities. I usually get turned-off a character where I feel that the show is trying to push an image of a character that is blinkered as to the reality of that character. Like, I don't need my characters to be selfless, and I love selfish character and find them v. interesting, but if the character is supposedly selfless, then it's jarring to see them display the exact opposite traits without an ounce of self-awareness. It's like the show is saying "look, he's such a great guy" and all you're seeing is an entitled jackass. While I love entitled jackasses where the show is aware that they're entitled jackasses.
In context, this is where my YR love springs from, because not only she, but the show itself is totally aware of her flaws and strengths. When she makes mistakes, the show doesn't seek to justify them, it presents them as mistakes. And even though we're most often seeing the events through YR's point-of-view, this show challenges her POV and shows that even she is not objectively right, but her perception is informed by her subjectivity. YR's POV is not exactly the show's POV, and it's this distance that makes for great writing, because- as so often happens- the show is not so much in love with YR as to not see her exactly as she is. Which gives a fuller picture of her, than it would have if she'd just existed to be a prop and stand-in for the female viewers and been perfect. After all, she recognized that Ah-rim was a nicer person than her, instead of imagining that she was just pretending to be nice, as it would have been easy to say. Things like that imo shows great self-awareness in YR.
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annie
September 25, 2014 at 8:11 AM
I'm totally loving your long comments and I'm in agreement as usual! (Mutual appreciation society FTW, haha.)
Yeah, it's a subject that is open for endless ranting, isn't is? I guess it's inevitable that we do this, I'm sure I've been guilty of it in the past too, because Kdramas are written for a female audience and thus are designed to have us identify with the female lead and fall in love, at least a little, with the male lead. And how often do we forgive or overlook questionable or even alarming qualities in a guy once we become emotionally involved with him, whether he's real or fictional? Whereas not only do we see the female lead with clearer eyes, we are even harder on her because we don't just see her as us but as an IDEALIZED VERSION of us. Like you said, we want the female lead to not just be like us, but the us we would love to be. Nobler, more self-sacrificing, prettier, and in possession of such ineffable attractive qualities that every guy in the drama somehow falls in love with her. And to deserve all that she has to live up to an impossible standard.
I agree though, it's the female leads that don't fall into this stereotypical mold, who are flawed yet still relatable, who mature and grow and have a journey, who remain with us long after the drama is over. Because they didn't just serve as an avatar for romantic catharsis; they were real women whose lives we peeked into for a little while. And for me, I agree, the difference between a character that turns me off and whom I can't root for and one whose journey I am fully invested in the writing. Both how self-aware she is, and how aware the writer is about what kind of person she is and where her character is going, and whether or not the story rewards her (and other characters) for their bad/problematic behaviour.
Can't wait to read your thoughts on episode 12, I am completely turned around after watching it! Haha.
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selina
September 25, 2014 at 11:12 AM
Exactly this! I love Yeo Reum and understand sympathize with her even more so than I do with Tae Ha. It baffles me when people can find one thousand and one reasons and excuses for Tae Ha's behavior but never extend that to Yeo Reum. It's true that most viewers are much harder on female leads than male leads and that we complain about the candies and then bash to death the non-candies...
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hipployta
September 25, 2014 at 1:12 AM
An excellent comment...
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 1:34 PM
You are incredible Zoe! Your comments always provide so much insight and you put everything in such a clear bright light. I love Yeo Reum as a character and like javabeans and girlfriday said in their podcast, she is able to do things that I wish I would myself. I meant, all those who criticize Yeo Reum might have overlooked that in her position there are things that are really tough to do and that she is able to keep such a unwavering attitude in front of Tae Ha is something laudable. It is totally enlightening to see that this Yeo Reum hate actually might stem from an unfair favor for the hot male character/actor... It's like 'I love Eric. How can *you* do that to him?'
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18 youcallitwinter
September 24, 2014 at 12:23 PM
And yet that is not to say that YR doesn't have feelings for TH, because she seems to. I completely agree that her relationship with TH is deeper, more honest and more passionate than the one with HJ. But I think there's a difference between being privy to the thoughts and actions of characters when they're alone vs. when they're with another character. I personally think that the character's actions re: each other should be judged in interaction, not isolation. Which often means that when someone says something to someone else, then that should be taken as the cue for how the latter person should react to the former. Like, YR explicitly making it clear to TH that she doesn't want to get back together should be given priority in judging YR and TH's actions re: her, rather than, say, the fact that she found herself unable to destroy the mementos that he gave her. Simply because TH is aware of one and not aware of the other. To say that his actions re: YR should be informed by things that he doesn't even know about (in that he is right in continuing to angst over her and waiting for her because she is also clearly not over him as witnessed in her time alone) isn't my personal reading, at the very least. She might be confusing the issue in her own head and be uncertain and unsure (as are all of us I bet, post 11 and 12 together), but that doesn't change her public stance.
What I find very interesting in the TH/YR/HJ dynamic is the aspect of time. I believe that TH definitely seems to have a more ~complete relationship with YR but I find it impossible to tell whether that's because of how they always were or because they're now meeting on an equal footing. All we've seen of the past is them being cute or them fighting, nothing that showcases any deeper understanding at that point. They know things about each other that you inevitably get to know in five years of being with someone, but it's not like they were reading each other perfectly back then (or rather they often miscommunicated). In fact it's more probable that they had the kind of relationship that HJ/YR have now with YR unable to say everything she felt because she was afraid that TH would just walk away (which is clear in the way she sympathizes with HJ). They can be open now because when they met again, neither of them had anything to lose re: the other. Which begs the question of whether it's not possible for HJ/YR to reach that same position after some time, when they're more equal in their feelings. TH too wasn’t as much in love with YR back then as she isn’t with HJ in the present. But as TH fell for her later, she might too with HJ. Nothing in that relationship is inherently opposed to them growing an understanding, considering they haven’t even had 5 years yet.
I don’t even know what I ship in this drama since I ship everything (special props to JY and Eric for the phenomenal acting though), but I find all these dynamics...
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mookie
September 24, 2014 at 3:26 PM
THIS. Should be required reading going into 12.
I was befuddled watching end of 12, ranting this might be the first moment I did not get YR....until I mulled over it most of yesterday.
She is exactly applying the lessons learned, and making sure she is not repeating the collective mistakes of what she did, and what TH did in cautiously making her decisions in her current relationship. Very true to form.
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vikayee
September 25, 2014 at 10:10 AM
I think that Yeo Reum is making an admirable effort to trust Ha Jin (and vice versa), but they've been lying to each other for too long. The only way I see them working out is if the writers throw in the magic year apart (let's send Yeo Reum to America to study, er, pine trees?) in the finale so they can sort out their feelings.
Actually, I'm just going to call it. Whether Yeo Reum ends up with Ha Jin or Tae Ha or stays single (HAHAHA we all know that won't happen!) I think we're going to see this trope make an appearance, a la Fated to Love You and It's OK It's Love.
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mookie
September 25, 2014 at 12:40 PM
Nonono, please no 'magic' year apart, please. At 12, the ship for YR and HJ has sunk, I see everything YR did in 12 thro lens of trying to subvert her rekindled feelings for TH
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annie
September 24, 2014 at 5:00 PM
Your point about time is really interesting, because it's true, we are seeing them at different points in their relationships, and there's no guarantee that the same pattern won't repeat itself. I think Yeo-reum recognizes this as well, because she brings it up when she's having breakfast with Ha-jin. He says that he's happy they've become so comfortable with each other that it's a routine to cook, and that he wants to have a comfortable relationship. But she protests that she wants to have tension and excitement, and that being comfortable leads to getting bored of each other. She's afraid the same thing will happen in this relationship that happened with Tae-ha.
I think one of the things Yeo-reum needs to realize before she can have a successful, adult relationship, whether it's with one of these guys or someone else, is that the initial rush of passionate love, the nervousness and the butterflies, is the honeymoon stage. No relationship can stay like that forever; in fact, it's inevitable that it will end. And that's okay. While it's true that her relationship with Tae-ha had issues and he was wrong to neglect her the way he did, she also had and still has unrealistic expectations about what a long-term relationship should look like. If she can't give up her fantasy about romantic love being a constant high of excitement, she's not going to be able to find happiness with anyone.
I really hope she can learn this lesson, because I want to see her happy.
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19 youcallitwinter
September 24, 2014 at 12:41 PM
Although judging by these recent episodes, I was about to form a different opinion re: what would be the shipping endgame, I just remembered that this is the INR team, which means it ain't over till it's over and no confusing action in the moment, no matter how definitive (like when it seems like it's tilting towards a certain ship) decides the endgame ship in the least and they're capable of pulling a last minute switch even. In fact judging by their track-record, I'd imagine a YR/TH endgame, regardless of what the situation seems like at the moment.
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Kandiboo
September 25, 2014 at 12:50 AM
Agree with most of mookie-unni and your comments. This is an interesting drama studying the complexity of human relationship. Obviously all the characters are maybe slightly more dramatic than us mortals, but I can sympathize with every single one of them.
More than wanting to know who the endgame is, I want to see how they will handle the final 4 episodes and have a satisfying closure for everyone. Like in real-life, it's never happily forever-after for all. I loved how TH matured over the last 12 episodes and will be very happy with a YR/TH end, however I also wish for some self improvement in the communication department from YR first (finally in ep 11!!).
If it's HJ/YR, fine, but I wish they would actually TALK about things. The current relationship is going down the same track as the previous YR/TH road (with role reversal) unless they start communicating. Except TH had nothing to hide back then.
MONDAY PLEASE COME SOON.
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20 revlow
September 24, 2014 at 1:46 PM
Thanks LollyPip. Great recap.
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21 annie
September 24, 2014 at 2:01 PM
This episode was perfection from beginning to end. <3
Also, Eric is the only actor that actually makes me worry for him when I'm watching him in a drama. It was the same in QSS. Those despairing eyes of pain, ugh. Come to me, Oppa!
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Sofia
September 26, 2014 at 7:47 AM
Eric has those wonderful expressive eyes which help him a lot in heart breaking scenes. My sadist mind's hoping he'll get more painful scenes because he looks much better when desperate in love…XD
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22 pyromaniac
September 24, 2014 at 3:06 PM
thanks for the recap~~! hope all your assignments are up to date.. haha
interested episode.. and I thought that it would be amicable and everyone would go their own paths.. and no-one would interfere, but now that Tae-ha keeps showing up it stirs up emotions in Yeo-reum... and she breaks.. she breaks bad.. does this mean she has lost her standing as the one wielding the power in the relationship?
what would be good to know is when the interviews are taking place.. as they seem to be taking place at that point in time and not at the end of the series.. are they actually interviews or are they just their subconscious thoughts?
also I am not sure what is up with Sol.. does she want Tae-ha and Yeo-reum to be together? it seems like she does as she keeps asking if they want to know how the other person is doing and then deliberately dragging Yeo-reum along to the campfire reunion when she doesn't want to go.
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pyromaniac
September 24, 2014 at 3:08 PM
oh and I love the drunken text... been there.. done that.. over and over and over.. haha... and the bromance that follows.. classy...
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bbstl 🧹
September 24, 2014 at 8:57 PM
I thought Sol dragging them to the campfire was another way to show TH (whom Sol doesn't like) how happy YR and HJ are, just as she made a point to tell TH that YR and HJ were off on a trip together. Sol thinks TH needs to get lost when it comes to YR.
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 1:07 PM
I dont' think that was Sol's intention.
"Sol thinks TH needs to get lost when it comes to YR." ~ hold on till you watch EP12. You'll get the answer ^^ (the scene is drunken Sol having a frank talk with Taeha)
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pyromaniac
September 25, 2014 at 2:59 PM
LOL.. I couldn't wait.. took a sneak peak.. answers most of my questions. funny what alcohol does
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bbstl 🧹
September 25, 2014 at 7:56 PM
Yep, got it. Aaaaah, I'm so confused!
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23 Hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 3:29 PM
I'm applying too much of real life and my personality to this because I feel ZERO pity for Taeha. GOOD that you finally know how Yeoreum felt and stop having this sense of entitlement that she should come back to you. So annoying.
However for all your talk about "letting her go" and "breaking up" you're still stalking and watching her. That is uncool. He's still a prick to me. All this romanticizing of his behavior as "growth" is meh to me. Why is a man in his 30s still maturing man child. That is so annoying.
Also Hajin and Yeoreum are totally going to implode because he STILL doesn't know about Taeha and his suspicions have been growing and THIS is going to be the reveal. He kept suppressing and playing the fool but even that has a limit. Joonho and Sol gotta watch out too.
I vote for Yeoreum to take a break from dating, because obviously her and Hajin are about to break up, and figure out what she wants but in the end I don't consider Taeha an option and think she may be best off alone.
Hajin won't be an option either because this is kind of a massive breach of trust. In real life I would tell them to leave me out of their drama, block Taeha and Yeoreum's number, give Joonho the cold shoulder for awhile, and move on. That probably won't happen though
I don't care about Taeha aside from his needs to grow up. Good job on Eric acting so well that this character continues to make me annoyed and talk about him rather than me not caring at all.
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Hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 3:37 PM
Also that Yeoreum told Taeha repeatedly that she doesn't want to get back together but he ignored it for ages and NOW is just silently stalking her also annoys me
When she was was trying to contact him before and after the breakup he didn't care enough to contact her but when he runs into her now that she's moved on and dating someone else NOW he wants to be in love and all in her space. UGH
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Phi
September 24, 2014 at 4:25 PM
it's not he didn't care and ignore her calls. Don't you remember when her father's died, Yeoreum's first call came in when Taeha was sleeping at the job site for just an hour and another work day was about to start. 2nd call came in when he was right in a middle of a presentation and was scold for taking call, 3rd call came in and he asked why can't she tell him the an accident happened at work that he had to tend to. I knew Yoereum was shock with her father's death but had she told Taeha "my father died", I'm sure he would drop every thing to be there with her. Yes, I believe that.
In EP.09, it was Taeha telling Yeoreum what Hajin told him at the bar. That Yoereum is the only person to him (HJ) and there's nothing between him & Ahrim. If he's all selfish and a jerk why would he told her all that?? Yeoreum suspicious of Hajin cheating on her with Ahrim, IT WAS TAEHA that told Yeoreum to stop suspecting of Hajin & Ahrim, just like she doesn't want Hajin to suspect of her & Taeha. How is that a prick???
What's wrong with visiting her at her studio? He didn't do that for her to see it. It's part of letting her go. He's allowed time to clear Yeoreum from his heart for god sake.
haish why should I even bother, you're just hating on Taeha to see any thing (consistently from EP1 comments till now). Stop watching would be best for you.
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hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 11:54 PM
I can watch if I choose...you can just ignore my comments if you're so invested in Taeha. You'll note that even when he wasn't busy he never called her back but hey keep your view of him
Yes my opinion hasn't changed because he hasn't
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 3:43 AM
They obviously talked/called after that day... whether it was brought up and again and YR decided not to say anything, no one knows.
As long as YR see the change in TH, that's all that matters. Regardless YR & TH will be together or not at the end, "it takes less energy to love and forgive than it does to stay angry and hold a grudge."
Phi
September 24, 2014 at 3:52 PM
It's just beyond me you keep hating on Taeha for reasons that I don't see, if not completely twisted.
How & where is his sense of "entitlement" in the past episodes? "Letting her go" = he won't pursuit her any more. geeez weeezz, can he has some time of clearing her out of his heart? Taeha isn't a robot who can just flip a delete button and erase all the feelings he has for her. What is wrong if he stills comes to by her studio? It's not like he doing all that intentionally for her to see for god sake. Sol was watching Eun Gyu and nothing is wrong or immature to you?
From your comments in the past episodes, you're so emotionally invested to hate Taeha that anything he does is wrong to you. Seriously, if Taeha irritates you so much (god knows why), it's sign to stop watching it.
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hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 11:57 PM
My opinion does not have to be the same as yours. He had no problem cutting her out of his life when they actually did break up. I'll continue to be flabbergasted that anyone finds his behavior acceptable
Sol's behavior was als9 extremely disturbing. Have my comments about Taeha not made it clear that none of that behavior is okay.
I'd appreciate if yoy didn't attempt to regulate my watching and just scroll by instead
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 4:52 AM
and I don't expect it to be the same either. Just pointing out the things that you seem to miss till it's brought up.
If TH really cutting her out of his life then why did he bother to send her an unstamped letter (not knowing her address either since she had moved) way back then. And why would he keep that suitcase of their photos & mementos?
And no, I don't attempt to regulate your drama watching, it's just a suggestion. If I'm that irritate or hate the characters that much, I would quit watching already.
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24 August
September 24, 2014 at 5:27 PM
Thanks for the recap LollyPip.
"...Tae-ha never said a word for nearly the entire second half of the episode."
I did notice and that's what really stood out for me. Their silent exchange at the campsite was definitely another crowning moment for this drama.
"I would be remiss if I didn’t say how very impressed I am with Eric’s ability to say volumes and make me cry, just with his eyes."
That's what I love about watching Eric act - his ability to say volumes with just his facial expressions alone. It's what I've come to expect and what I was patiently waiting for and looking forward too and in Discovery of Romance. DOR is my 2nd time watching Eric act in a drama. Que Sera Sera was the 1st. Both Eric and Jung Yu-Mi continue to set the bar high - as does the rest of the cast.
I truly enjoy DOR. The acting and writing in this drama gives us a lot to think and stew about:
• Flawed, imperfect, and complex human beings (like in real-life).
• Struggling with either listening to or ignoring what the heart wants vs. what the mind wants.
• Communication vs. Lack of communication (succeeding at it and/or failing at it)
• The past (memories/trying to come to terms with it) vs. The present (moving on/forward with one's life)
• 20/20 hindsight vs. the chance to do things differently vis-à-vis actions, choices, and decisions.
I sure do wish that the ratings would increase. I guess this will be another underrated gem of a drama that received low ratings while it was airing but after the fact it has a high fanbase due to word of mouth.
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Spi
September 26, 2014 at 1:42 PM
+1 (Can the like button come back please?)
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25 lh39
September 24, 2014 at 7:42 PM
LollyPip - tks for the recap. I am so enthralled by DOR and this is one of the few romance dramas which has great cast and lines. Its interview/narrative style is good for viewers to know what the characters are thinking so there is no second-guessing. It's fun to read DB comments from people who like and dislike the show and characters. Let's appreciate and respect such diversity. We are who we are. I am not embarrassed to say that I prefer romance dramas like DOR and MLG compared to FTLY and MND which had a very big pool of expressive and loving fans. Destiny is not something we can control. Sometimes we don't end up with our true love because we met them at the wrong time and place. We don't know that it is true love until it is too late. But marriage is much more than just love. Because love changes and people change, like what DOR advocates.
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26 trojan012
September 24, 2014 at 9:03 PM
Hey, I hope I'm not the only one who sees that KTH isn't a victim here. What goes around comes around.
He had HYR before where the latter was really in love with him. He had her at her best. Yet, he screwed up. Are they meant to be together in the future? That i can't say as of now.
But he has no right to present himself in between the couple. What he is doing at present is really selfish. He should have acknowledged that HYR is already in a relationship and respect it.
The right thing to do is to refrain himself from meddling with the present couple and try to move on.
For those in a relationship, would you want some third party stirring up things between you and your partner? Especially if that person is an ex? I think the normal answer is no.
Also, I'm not sure of his feelings towards HYR. Why? Because he suddenly got interested with her again when he saw a different HYR. Someone who has moved on and is now happy with her relationship. Its a possibility that he just feels challenged and that is why he wants her back.
I am not a hater of Eric Mun. In fact, he is the reason why I watched this drama. He's the only one from the cast that I know. I find him hot and cool. But in his character, I just feel that what he's doing is wrong.
Not that I'm saying he's the only person at fault here. But he still should respect the relationship of HYR & NHJ and stay away as possible.
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Juan
September 24, 2014 at 10:37 PM
Just in case you missed something. In the episode 1, Kang Tae Ha stated how he missed her, how he really wanna know whether she's married or not, she has boyfriend or not. When the first time they met and mobile was exchanged, he asked YR to change the phone because it's important for his business. He also said her boyfriend was calling but suddenly the phone turn off (low batt). At first maybe he just teasing her, but unfortunately, he started to like her again. But, he realized his mistakes, wishing her for the best and tried to move on (even though still not till last episode). He's the one who wants avoid when they met at that night in Nami Island (where YR's confessed how much she's waiting for him) and saying working matter as the reason to avoid HJ's misunderstanding. And he's the one who drove her to her boyfriend's home the day when she'll get proposal. Not to mention he was the one who's saying AR-HJ doesn't has anything to worry about just for her shake.
IMO, he tried to respect their relationship, but as you see, YR always comes to him accidentally..
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hipployta
September 24, 2014 at 11:59 PM
I completely agree with you but it's an unpopular opinion around here...which amazes me because in real life we'd hate this guy
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Juan
September 25, 2014 at 12:51 AM
If I meet someone like Kang Tae Ha in real life, maybe I won't hate him but honestly he's someone that seems really pitiful. When his ex already move on, he still stuck in the past memories. Kang Tae Ha is smart guy with perfect appearance and has high position. It's easy for him to get any girl he wants (even YR still has feeling for him, she deny it or not). BUT, the struggle that he showed is really painful to see. If you notice, he never shown his frustating behaviour in front of everyone, except director Yoon (his closest buddy). So, If Tae Ha is real, I don't think I could see him drunk and all in front of me. We see how he got depressed and teary when he's alone, but back to his office...oh...my...he still scary boss as ever...LOL...If I meet someone like him, I'll give him advice to date another girl or going abroad for a while BUT definitely not hating him. Yes he still looking for her, but we knows he's doing it secretly (unfortunately YR saw itseveral times).
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alua
September 25, 2014 at 3:49 AM
Depending on the situation, in real life I'd possibly seriously dislike him or pity him or be totally creeped out / scared of him.
If I were HJ, I'd be totally pissed off, if YR probably just rather uncomfortable/uneasy, depending on what happens next.
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 5:21 AM
Regardless YR bumped into Taeha at the hotel, with the appearance of Ahrim later it still stir things up with YR & HJ.
They're not married. As long as ALL parties are aware, I'd prefer to make the decision myself if given the choices.
No one can foresee the future, but rather some one is an ex-BF now than an ex-husband down the road.
If YR & HJ is strong, Taeha or Ahrim can't break them. They seem to be ok on the surface but obviously so many baggages between them.
If it was in episode 8 or before that, I'd wonder if he really love her or just want a challenge. What we have seen from EP9 onward, it's very evident that he loves her.
Taeha respect the couple as he bid her to be happy. He had been avoiding her from work and he did say good thing about HJ to Yeoreum. In EP10, Taeha told Yeoreum that "he lost his chance, but she should give that chance to Hajin". And in this episode, he made no attempt of butting in YR-HJ relationship. If that is not respecting and giving space, I don't know what is.
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27 samsooki
September 24, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Why should he stay away?
Just curious why you think so.
Shouldnt adults gave the right to determine who they want to be close to?
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alua
September 25, 2014 at 3:41 AM
Who are you responding to?
<Shouldn't adults have the right to determine who they want to be close to?
Meaning, anything is allowed? Seriously? People in relationships, married couples (happily or unhappily), underage lover, person who has clearly turned you down?
You can like whoever you want, but I don't think that gives you the right to be close to them, for various moral and sometimes legal reasons.
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 12:31 PM
Personally, if some one is married, stay away at all cost. If still dating, I don't see problem fighting for your chance (as long as ALL parties are aware then it's fair game).
Put it this way, if my BF'ex comes back and wants her 2nd chance, it sure suck as hell. But if we're good then we're good. If we're not meant to be then I rather make him my ex-BF now than for him to be my ex-hubby some time down the road....
Apply to DoR, "my BF's ex-GF" is like Taeha & Ahrim situation
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alua
September 25, 2014 at 2:20 PM
I find it really sad that people think it's okay to go after someone who is in a relationship, so as long as everyone is "aware".
To me this is immoral. If someone is in a relationship, married or not, they are off the market.
How would you feel if someone told you, "I'm going to steal your boyfriend/girlfriend from you. I've told you, so it's fair game".
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 3:58 PM
I'm sorry but following your heart, isn't a sin, especially when none of the parties is married. Is that what dating is about? Trial & error, and making choices.
People are not property. You can't "steal" some one if they don't want to go.
And like I said in the previous comment, it sure feels hella suck, but if my BF wants to be with the other girl more, would it stop him not fall for her later after we get married? I rather bid him goodbye as my ex-BF now than an ex-husband later.
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alua
September 26, 2014 at 4:23 AM
Why does it matter if they are married?
I make no difference there, because I think it's discriminatory. There are a lot of people in committed relationships who aren't married (or who are not allowed to marry).
Of course you can't steal someone if they don't want to, but marriage has nothing to do with this. If someone wants to cheat or betray, they are going to do it married or not.
I don't think "following your heart" is something we can justify with "anything goes because your heart wants it" (I'm not talking about "sin", I'm not religious).
Phi
September 26, 2014 at 8:35 PM
@alua, I didn't mean "sin" in a religious manner either.
Marriage, other than that signed piece of paper and the legal obligations that comes with it, one also commits to love & to hold each other "till death do us part". Dating, you don't have that same level of commitment.
August
September 26, 2014 at 6:23 AM
A word to the wise. You'll probably want to steer clear of the recent kdrama Temptation (with Choi Ji-Woo, Kwon Sang-Woo, Park Ha-Sun, and Lee Jung-Jin). Because you just summed up its storyline and the way the writer Han Ji-Hoon let events and character actions play out.
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youcallitwinter
September 26, 2014 at 1:32 PM
OH DEAR GOD, Temptation. I think no drama's ever made me want to bang my head repeatedly against a wall as hard as that one did. In fact, after that, DOR seems like the gold standard of writing and characterization. (I stanned Hong-joo, so the bitterness is probably self-explanatory, heh.)
Sofia
September 26, 2014 at 7:42 AM
I reject someone approaches another person in any relationship whether it's married, engagement or dating status. Personally, I think it's not acceptable whatever the reason. That's why I dislike Tae Ha's character at the earlier episodes even though he seems just teased her at first. But as his chararter grows mature, try his best to let her go, I started to like him. Unfortunately, Han Yeo Reum seems still loving him deeply. We can't deny the fact. That's the real problem, actually. In the end of this episode, it showed how he tried to avoid Yeo Reum when they met in that bridge and another episode he asked her to disconnect in their work and use Yoon Sol as the messenger between them because he knows YR feel uneasy around him. So, if we blame everything to Kang Tae Ha, I think it's a bit unfair.
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28 trojan012
September 25, 2014 at 3:36 AM
He might not intentionally have hurt HYR, or he missed her, or he is concerned how she's been doing. All of those don't erase the fact that he made HYR feel unhappy and neglected. Let's not forget that.
That was the reason why she broke up with him and had a clean start with NHJ.
What KTH is doing now like officially breaking up with HYR, trying to avoid HYR, or trying to save HYR&NHJ is already late. He already stirred things up which I find very offensive for NHJ, and even to HYR.
KTH needs to stay away from NHJ & HYR because that is the right thing for him to do, if he is just decent and respectful enough.
Try to be in the position of NHJ, whether you are a girl or a boy. I think you would not like how it would feel. I know he also has some faults here.
But in general, NHJ is the victim not KTH.
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Sarang
September 25, 2014 at 4:32 AM
But we saw how he tried to stay away. He tried to avoid them every time they meet (in Nami Island and when he piggy back Sol to her home). He even didn't overreact about YR's confession. Remember, she's the one who offered to drove him, got nervous when HJ talked about proposal when he was beside her in that car…and so on.. He sent that message when he was drunk and he totally regret it in the morning though. I'm not saying KTH is the right person in this situation but honestly I give him my sympathy because he always got blamed every time YR cried even after they break up and also get hated by Sol and Joon Ho. He didn't share his painful with anyone except his hyung….If YR doesn't has any feeling for him, she won't say anything about him continuously from the beginning of episode till now..
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trojan012
September 25, 2014 at 6:42 AM
Like I've said, KTH has already stirred things up.
As far as I can remember, HYR didn't want or was hesitant to take the project offered by KTH. She informed KTH that she is in a relationship. That should probably have been a sign for KTH to back off.
With regards to HYR still having feelings for KTH at the start, I don't agree nor disagree. Its hard to tell. But as it progresses, since KTH constantly meddled with the couple and now poured his heart out, of course, HYR will be affected. They have a past, she'll get confused. And that is unfair for NHJ.
My point is that everything shouldn't have happened as it is now if KTH didn't push that project with her or at least refrained from putting up fire.
KTH is in misery now and that is because he messed things up, intentionally or no, in the past. I believe in second chances, he deserves it but what he did is not cool, totally not cool.
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Sraang
September 25, 2014 at 7:41 AM
I agree with you in some points. But I have a bit different opinion. If I'm not wrong, the one who suggested her to accept the project was Yoon Sol (I forgot in which episode), because they need money. YR is strong headed person, in that case, I don't think TH has power to push her to accept the project except herself. I admit he wasn't cool when he approached YR when she's in relationship, but it seems at the beginning he just teasing her. However, after few episodes, he fall for her, and this time is more than he loved her in the past. We know how he provoked NHJ and I totally think it wasn't good behavior, but after sometimes, we see his development to become better man who wants to see his beloved happy. But, this drama is very 'realistic'. It means, it takes time for someone who never felt 'true' love like KTH to forget about it. I know Ha Jin is good boyfriend, but if you see episode 12, even HJ knows YR never sincere towards him. I doubt TH will try to take her back, unless YR will open her heart at first. So, the last decision is all in YR's hand whether she prefers someone that she can be herself and playing a 'risk' or playing safe with someone to whom she can't share anything beside lovey sweety moments ( HJ said himself that he afraid to ask anything to YR because he worries they would break up)
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 12:13 PM
You may not like Taeha offered them the project, it's ok but at the time he didn't have intention of being the 3rd wheel or pressured her to take it. It was Sol that convinced Yeoreum (who is in debt) to take it + their studio needs steady works to earn income as well.
To be honest, nothing would happen if:
. Taeha wasn't too busy in the last 2 years of the relationship.
. Yeoreum didn't pass away so soon.
. Taeha proposed to YR before that last train trip.
. Joonho didn't leak Hajin's going on a blind date.
. Yeoreum didn't bump into Taeha at the hotel.
. Taeha didn't bump into a drunk Yeoreum on the street.
. Yeoreum's cell phone battery didn't die when Taha handed her Hajin's call.
. Hajin didn't bump into Ahrim.
. If Yeoreum's mom helped her to get out of debt when Hajin proposed to her (or Yeoreum fessed up with Hajin she's broke)
to me, it's all circumstantial chain of events (or shall I say fate) that brought the 4 of them where they are today. It's not one or two persons' doings.
Who will end up with who, I think it'll boil down to Yeoreum's words in previous episodes: "It wasn’t ‘how much do I love this person?', but ‘how willing am I to protect this love?’ "
Can't wait for EP.13
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 1:02 PM
^^ ooops I meant "Yeoreum's father didn’t pass away so soon."
trojan012
September 25, 2014 at 5:53 PM
Whether KTH wanted to be a third wheel at the start or not, it was clear that he had ulterior motives for whatever reason he had.
Sure that HYR's business needed a big project and they had to take it, and KTH took advantage of that to meddle things between the couple.
KTH had his time with HYR and he messed up making the latter feel neglected, be it intentional on his part or not.
Fate? Each person has the capacity to decide on what to do and what not to do. KTH, I believe is very much capable to decide on that, and he chose to put on the fire.
The circumstantial chain of events is a given and people are blessed with minds to think of how to treat those events.
Phi
September 25, 2014 at 8:12 PM
@trojan012, there was NO indication of Taeha taking advantage of Sol & Yeoreum's studio not having enough work to meddle between YR & HJ. Summer & Pine's styles & designs fit with what his company was looking for. And even IF he were taking advantage of the lack of works, both YR & Sol are capable of turning it down on their own.
Taeha paid the prize for his mistake by loosing her. He also apologized for his mistake. But seriously, it's not like he was sleeping around or cheating on her.... He 'neglected' her in the last 2 years of their relationship because he was working his butt off for their future, and to earn enough money to get a workshop for Yeoreum. Is that a jerk of a BF?
There were many issues between YR & HJ already regardless Taeha or without Taeha. Hajin wasn't truthful with YR, kept meeting up with Ahrim despite YR asking him don't meet up with Ahrim again. Yeoreum doesn't tell Hajin about her ex-BF or her father... But most importantly, had Yeoreum told Hajin she was broke when he proposed, they would had been married by now.
"Each person has the capacity to decide on what to do and what not to do. KTH, I believe is very much capable to decide on that" ~~ and do Yeoreum, Hajin & Ahrim, each is capable of deciding their actions/fate too regardless of Taeha. ^^
Sarang
September 26, 2014 at 7:18 AM
Why blame Tae Ha when the decision actually all in YR's hands? Just said, Tae Ha force himself to mess her relationship, but if YR doesn't has any feeling for him, it won't work. The thing is, even from the beginning of this episode, she's not over him yet. Everytime TH arounds, YR keep talking and praising her current boyfriend and I'm sure she has intention to make him jealous or at least wanna know his reaction. One thing we should not forget, YR is the key for all this mess actually. Why should blame others when she make her own relationship in danger. Even without Tae Ha, I'm sure her current relationship is unhealthy. How come her boyfriend doesn't know anything about her debts, her 'bad' relationship with her mom and her 'manipulative' behavior (like Joon Ho said) and other stuff after dating for one year? Tae Ha and Ah Rim are just catalyst to proof how weak their relationship. It looks sweet outside but nothing inside.
29 hongsera
September 25, 2014 at 5:43 AM
sigh, i really hope they will release dvd collection for this drama. (T___T)
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 12:32 PM
I hope so too, will definitely buy it.
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30 Lily
September 25, 2014 at 6:12 AM
I still don't get if someone says Eric's acting is improved or getting better. I knew him from years ago through charming chaebol in Bulsae then he transformed to dorky silly idiot in Super Rookie and so on….he already done different roles (even though his background wasn't an actor) which I'm sure not many 'original' actors could pull it as he did. Just being honest, Kang Tae Ha's character at the beginning is not the one that we supposed to root or adore, right??? But because it was played by Eric, seems whatever the role he takes, will support him. Personlly, I always think he did and still doing great job in whatever roles he played, without exception. Even in the very mess Spy Myung Wol, he was the one who did a great job till the end. When someone already did his best and others still keep critized, I just feel it's unfair for him. Or maybe because of his background as idol turn actor…??? Call me bias, but Eric is one of the very versatile k-actor. I'm sure if next he'll play as villain or murderer, all of us still root for him…LOL (I hope not..)
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31 samsooki
September 25, 2014 at 9:29 AM
Let's break it down for a second.
Questions out of the ether:
Hypothetical. A is going out with B. Okay? C used to go out with B. A, B and C are all adults. Each of A, B and C is single (i.e., not married).
1. Is C not allowed to talk with B?
2. If A asks C, don't talk with B, then does C have to listen? Why does C have to listen to B? Isn't it B's choice whether to talk with C or not?
Just curious what the rational is.
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Kandiboo
September 25, 2014 at 10:37 AM
In the usual K-drama world this wouldn't work because A has a jealously streak (especially if s/he finds out B and C were a pair), B is ?indecisive and C has no self restraint.
In the real world of course I would say it depends on whether B/C are on okay terms, so C can talk to B (but not degrade B).
For the second Q I presume it's 'why does C have to listen to A'. S/he doesn't provided that C sticks to the usual social boundaries of an 'ex' contact or a friendship contact (unless of course B is conciously allowing for something more). The only situation that A might intervene is when the boundaries are overstepped and obviously offensive - and B asks for A's intervention.
Let's assume we are all adults and stick to usual social norms?
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Hipployta
September 25, 2014 at 2:01 PM
B told C to stay out of A and B's relationship but he clearly refused to do so...in typical societal norms than A would get involved.
More importantly why is C ignoring B when they say STOP because of what C wants. That is not okay.
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bbstl 🧹
September 25, 2014 at 8:15 PM
Yes, THAT. B has told C repeatedly that he needs to leave her relationship with C alone. C doesn't have to listen to A but he sure should listen to B.
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 4:18 PM
1. Depends if B&C are on ok term and if they like to talk, I don't see why not (but that risk making A getting jealous)
2. (assuming you meant "Why does C have to listen to A?" instead) ), depends if C thinks A's asking is reasonable and if B also wants to or not.
Thou, why can't A ask B don't talk with B instead? ^^
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Phi
September 25, 2014 at 6:13 PM
ooops I meant to say "why can’t A ask B don’t talk with C instead?"
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32 Jojo
September 25, 2014 at 11:33 PM
After watching ep 12, I am not sure where is this heading for our leads. I am getting frastrated....
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33 ejeje
September 26, 2014 at 10:01 AM
This is the first time ever i' ve finished read all the comment(ep.11,almost all)...;)
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34 August
September 26, 2014 at 10:05 AM
During the hallway scene with Yeo-reum’s mom and Producer Bae where he's trying to convince her to be more than friends as their surrounded by employees...the song playing in the background is:
Bruno Mars - Marry You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lqF_huno40
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xdyRsGOl6U&list=RD9xdyRsGOl6U
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