Awwwww KDaddict, Hello *waves incessantly at you*

You have NO IDEA how happy I am to see you here. You mentioned in the last OT about this drama that you would be going on vacation, and so I was thinking that I would have to wait about two weeks or so to start looking for you here.

I wasn't sure I would see you here, but I am happy you are (here :-) ) So, are you on vacation already? If yes, how is that going? Well I hope.

I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comments last week, and for standing up for me. I wish there was a "like" button after each comment, because I loved what you said and how you said it. The best part was that your arguments actually made sense. You didn't have to do it, but you stood up for me, more than once. Risa just "killed" me with her comments. The thing is, she actually "knows" me, because she described me really well, and it was sooooo obvious she had been reading and probably had been participating on this blog before I delurked, and she had been reading my (many) comments from the beginning and had paid attention to what I said, and to how I said it. It was very comforting to read from someone who actually got to the essence of who I am, and who also had compassion and understanding for how passionate I had become about Kdramas, Korean culture (and what seemed like another world to me in general), and writing and yes, it seemed to have gotten out of hand for some, however, I am not the only writing loooong comments. I did end up seeing how it irritated some people however.

I was processing the reactions by different people, and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire, so I decided to keep my comments to myself. It is not that I do not have thoughts (you have read my comments, so you know :-) ) or questions, however I thought these incidents might be a good opportunity and a good time for me to just keep things to myself (maybe for a while). I did not want to spend my time and energy responding with negative comments, especially to people who obviously had not bothered to read my comments (and so they felt that I did not contribute to the dialogue/analysis which I feel is far from the truth, and I think you and Risa would agree with me), and to people who had obviously not noticed that I had barely written anything on DB in the last 3 weeks or so. I would go days without reading the blog, and without posting anything. So, to say that I "always did this" and I "never did that" when I had been barely there, made me realize that the attacks were not about my behavior (which had drastically changed), but about me as a person. The thing is, they didn't even know me, not that I think that they have to, mind you. I don't expect that from them or anyone, really.

I am going off in a tangent (sorry), but I just wanted to let you know a little bit about what was going on with me. I was really touched by what you did and by what you said. I soooo appreciate that you had the courage to do that, and the best part: you were right on point, in every one of your comments. I know I am repeating myself, but that is how much I was touched. I won't apologize for that :-)...

I know I am going on and on, however, I was and I am very grateful for people like you here. *bows in gratitude* Please keep that attitude, I believe it is one of your qualities.

KDaddict, I really hope you will get to see this comment.

KDaddict,

I understand that JB and the other recappers often write figuratively and that they joke, and the problem for me is that I simply do not get it most of the time, so I end up asking the kinds of questions I ask, because I don't want to miss out on the joke or on the analogy.

English is not my 1st language (though I speak it well), and I did not grow up in this country (the US). What it means for me is that quite often (OK, very often) the cultural analogies and jokes or references are lost on me...

Ivoire,
I read Risa's comment and agreed with it. That's why I hope you get to participate in ways that ppl don't object to. Then you can be a happy camper in a happy drama-lovers' universe.

I realized that English isn't your mother tongue, on acct of the Qn's u asked. May I ask if you r of Asian heritage? U asked Qn's about "Eat your rice" vs "Eat your meal" too. So that made me think you aren't Asian either. ;)

Hello again KDaddict,

Good to read from you again :-), and thank you for your response. I noticed that you didn't answer one of my questions, maybe you meant to and forgot? Are you on vacation now? I hope you are getting time to rest and have fun.

You know, the backlash I received for the way I commented on GFB made me stop and think. It's not that I was not thinking before, I had actually been thinking that I was probably spending too much time on this blog and I wanted to walk away for a while. My challenge, because I love writing and express thoughts and feelings, was that once I started writing, I didn't want to stop. No one around me is into Kdramas and Korean culture, so I have no one to share my excitement and disappointments with. You know... the kinds of things we do when we come here. I would also be honest and say that I also did get a lot of positive responses to my comments, not only with GFB, but Faith, TWTWB, AGD, IDID, etc... basically all the Kdramas I commented on. The nice thing (as that is often the case, not only for me but for others as well, as I have seen it happen), was that I would say/write something or respond to someone's comment, and then s/he would respond, other people would chime in, and that would generate other questions and comments, many of which I would not have thought of, and on and on we would go, until that particular conversation would stop. And I LOVED that, because it was engaging and it made me think and I learned a lot in the process.

I also loved that I could come here and connect with people from different ethnic origins and people would live in different places of the world, some of whom have become my friends on FB, and a few of us (who met here) are part of a small FB group (a closed one, meaning only the people of the group see the comments we write, so the ladies can let loose and say what is on their minds and hearts, and we share articles, videos, travel tips, etc...) that is ethnically and culturally diverse, and our love and interest of Kdramas and Korean culture brought us there, and we have grown into adding other elements to the conversation.

I think I am saying that because I am the kind of person who does take my connections/friendships and relationships to heart, and I think you and Risa might have sensed that. I am being me when I am here, you just can't see my face and what I look like, but the rest is authentic. In real life, I am very polite, I try to be kind (like anyone, I am not perfect and I have my flaws, and yes, I am aware of them), I put my heart in what I do (I try to always do that), I try to mean what I say, and I am service oriented, meaning I tend to serve others, a lot. Even my professions and my upbringing have been about that.

As I have mentioned, I do LOVE to write and I loved the responses (mostly) that I got. I wouldn't however know how to have and maintained a blog, so I didn't start one. I just thought I would do my writing here, mostly. I have participated on a few other blogs as well and I participate on the FB group page, but a LOT of my writing has been done here. Until about a year ago or so, I was very active on OTs on Fridays, I was the first one to comment a lot of the time, and the beaners were fine with it. I had people I looked for and people who looked for me as well, and that was really nice. I knew people's stories, what they were studying and I shared about my ethnic background and culture with the beanies there. One commenter ended up including me in a fan fiction she wrote, based on the beaners she had met here. I read some of it, and it was interesting to see how she had represented me and how she had touched on some of my gifts (I speak four different languages, and she used that in the fan fiction, even doing some research on my country of origin, so she could write something specific to my culture. That was neat and touching). I also have short hair, and my character in the fanfic had short hair as well.

KDaddict, this is part one of my response. I am not done and I will be back with more. I have to stop for now... Will be back later.

Hello again, Ivoire,
I totally get what you r saying, about sharing with other fans on dramas, and making connections. I think most of us end up spending too much time watching and commenting on Kdramas. ;) It never hurts to take a break and reassess, as u say.

I'm currently on vacation, hence I've only written 1 or 2 very short comment in 10 days. The trip also affords me a chance to think about some readings that I've been meaning to do but haven't. Truthfully, it might be better to do sth else once in a while, in place of watching BAD dramas like LSS or I Summon u Gold (less bad but still bad). Just that Jo JS is so hard to resist!!!

So, you Asian?

Hello KDaddict again,

Part two of my comment here, as I feel that there is a lot I would like to share, and I hope that you will indulge me with this. Thank you!

The other thing that made things personal for me is the fact that "Ivoire" is actually a translation of one of my names in French (meaning it is the French translation of my dad's mother's name from my native language). It actually means something in my native language, and my dad used to like to call me with that name, it was dear to him. Both my dad and my grandmother have passed away, and it was hurtful to see what felt like my name being thrown around by people who didn't even know me and know what the name represented to me.

I have come to see how I might have offended some people, though I didn't think so at the time. I tried to explain myself, and I was not trying to make excuses when I did so. The comment Risa made about the fact that when people are from different cultures, their behavior could be informed by it was very true and it resonated with me. However, when JB came out with the new rules, my behavior drastically changed, and I thought it was interesting that the people who were focusing on me had not even noticed that I had barely posted, and 2--my behavior had actually changed. The other thing I also find interesting is that I continue to see people posting after their first comment, in essence "responding" to their own comment. I actually understand that, because I think what happens is that one starts with one thought, posts it, and then realizes s/he forgot to say something else that was on their minds, or that they had just realized, and so they quickly add that thought. I saw it being done here, on this thread. I wanted to do it as well, just add my question, however I knew (or thought) that I would be attacked, so I decided against it.

I am also someone who does not really like conflict and confrontation, especially if it seems to be fueled by anger, which I am not sure will lead to a productive result. I tend to want to let things cool off, while I process them, before answering, hence my late responses. I can understand some people being upset with me, however I do think that there is a way to address issues, just my personal opinion.

The break I took from DB came at a good time, and I should have done it so much sooner, I will be the first one to admit it. I just had a hard time doing it. Once I did it however, it actually felt good and I realized that I didn't need to be addicted to the blog, aka write every thought I had on so many threads. Besides, there are so many witty and insightful commenters here, so it is OK if I don't comment.

What I am thinking of doing instead is creating a binder for myself, in which I will put a copy of all the comments and responses I have gotten on this blog, because many of those comments are answers to cultural and linguistic questions I have had. I don't have those answers in one place (and yet there so many of them), and so it would be a good project for me to work on. That way, I could have my experiences on DB in a binder, and I would know where to go to read about some of the cultural and linguistic questions I have had. That might be time consumming, however I think it is an endeavor I will enjoy, especially the part about having cultural facts and answers all in one place. I will continue to ask questions on the blog however, since this is a large community. It is helpful to throw out some questions here, at the risk of sounding dumb or ignorant at times.

I think the backlash I experienced cooled me off, "m'a refroidi" as you would say in French, which is not necessarily a bad thing. It just felt weird and painful to go through that, because some of the attacks just seemed so personal, and I have never done that to anyone, even when I would be irritated. The hard thing was that most people here don't know me, and that was hard to take. It made me reflect a lot. I sooo loved being here, I think I had become obsessed with the blog. Pulling away has proven to actually be a good thing, and I guess that is the silver lining. I found out that I didn't really need to know everything that was happening in Kdramaland or with Korean celebrities. It is not like they know me, and things are ever evolving, so I don't need to always keep track of what they are doing on the screen or in their personal lives. That was freeing. I also found that I am not as interested as I used to be in reading everyone's comments, not if I don't have a question about the ep., and that has been freeing as well. I am sure not everybody read my comments when I wrote them, they were sooo long, I understand.

The funny thing is that I actually do not watch a lot of Kdramas in a year. When the reviews came out at the end of the year about Kdramas (last year), I realized that I had actually watched (fully) less than 10 kdramas, total. Less than 10, in 12 months. I don't know if that even makes me an addict per se, because I am actually OK not watching too many of them, or not watching them at all. I did LOVE the part where I would comment and dissect a drama. I felt as if I was in school again, dissecting a book, a poem or discussing a philosophical thought (philosophy was my major in High School. Yes, HS, not college. I had 8 hours of philosophy a week, in HS. 2hours for 4 days out of 5, and I loved it. I would then come home and want to discuss what I had learned with my dad and quiz him and have him as my study partner. He felt like he was being in school with me, and I loved those times. I also made one of my younger sisters be my audience when I would study, so she knew about philosophical thoughts before she had to study philosophy. It was fun and I enjoyed it. I loved playing school).

Maybe I just didn't know how to behave on a blog, or on this one. This was the first time when I actually started contributing. So reflecting has been very good, and I have changed. I don't feel (and don't manage to feel) the way I did before the backlash, which is OK. The interesting thing is that the dramas I have participated in (as far as commenting), have left an impression on me. When I rewatch scenes from those dramas, I can remember to a "T" the comments I wrote, the responses I got and other comments I read, what the recapper shared about that ep., etc... I guess I had been soaking all of it in really, because I still remember a lot of things, even the negative ones.

Regarding your 2nd short paragraph, you are absolutely right, I am not of an Asian ancestry/heritage. I am actually from Cameroon in Central Africa. In the US, Cameroon is said to be in West Africa, but it is actually part of Central Africa. I was however born in Paris, and I lived there the first 3 years of my life, then my parents and I went back home. My mother worked for an airline company, so I traveled a lot since I was a baby, literally. One of the things I liked about my screen name was that it was an ice breaker when I starting contributing on OT, and we had some nice conversations about why I chose it, where I was from, my experiences, what I had studied, etc...

So I grew up being around different people, from the time I was a baby. My nanny in France was French and my godmother is part Senegalese (from senegal), and from Martinique, a French West Indies Island. I went there when I was 5, and I came back home speaking French with a Martinican accent, which was very funny (I used to do that when I was a child and a teenager. I would visit/vacation in a country and come home speaking with their accent until it wore off. It was sooo funny, especially because I was the only one doing that at my house, and at school. I can still pick up some accents). My godfather was from Ivory Coast, in West Africa, and he had lived and worked in Cameroon. Growing up and still now, I have had friends from different places of the world, because of the places I was privileged to visit and the places where I have studied (Cameroon, Spain, France, and the USA).

I studied Philosophy, languages and Communications, hence my curious nature and my strong interest in cultures and languages. It has been interesting to me to see how some cultures are actually different (for example, contrarily to what many people outside of Africa think, African cultures [from different African countries] are not the same. We have some similarities, but we have differences as well). I would think it must be the same for Asian cultures and for cultures in Latin America, and it is true also in Europe and in the US. The North is different from the West, and the East Coast is different from the West Coast, right?

I went to school with some Asians (indians from India, Pakistani, students from Bangladesh, etc... That was in France and in the US), and my church is also very diverse, one of the things I really love about it. When we have our Christmas and Easter plays, the different cultures are represented at the end of the play, soooo very cool. I have an Asian friend, she is Chinese American and she is 10 years older than me. She also grew up in France, and that was the thing that brought us together and got us talking. She is very nice and so is her family. I love going to her home (she had me stay over on 3 different occasions) and she explains a lot of Chinese and Asian culture to me, and she exposes me to Asian food. She is a really good cook of not only Chinese food, but of food in general, and she is very hospitable. I met her at my church, interestingly enough...

Watching Kdramas made me interested in the Korean language because I love how it sounds. I am a linguist at heart and by training, and I used to sing in choirs, being a soloist at times. I sang in different languages, both Africans and Europeans, so I had to learn how to pronounce words and I had to pay attention. Even if I don't understand a language, I always pay attention to how it sounds, and when I watch a drama, I try to guess what things mean, because for this drama for example, I watch it raw, because the subs are not out yet, by the time the weecap OT is posted. So to know what happened, I watch it raw, and that makes me grateful for the weecap or recap, since it adds to my understanding of the episode. I never say "Thanks or Thank You" on a thread if I don't mean it.

So watching Kdramas and opening myself up (more) to Asian cultures, I came to notice that some of the behaviors are the same (as African ones), and some are different, of course. And that just fueled my curiosity and interest as well. I actually remember my mother having some books with really good pictures about SK and NK, and her taking us to an exhibit about SK in Cameroon. That was a very, very, very long time ago. I love that about my mom, she always encouraged my curiosity and my desire to explore, and she helped me when she could.

So I hope you can tell by now that my interest in Kdramas actually goes way beyond pretty boys and acting. It started with it, and it has blossomed (genuinely) into an interest in those two countries (both Koreas), and an interest in Asian cultures and peoples as a whole. Our FB group is really neat, because we have ladies from Ghana and Cameroon, from South Africa and the Congo or Rwanda (Africa), from the US (both Black and White ethnicities), from Switzerland (Europe), from Malaysia, from Bhutan, from Indonesia and that is all I can remember right now. It is a small group (less than 25 people), yet very diverse. I met some of the ladies here, on DB, interestingly enough, and I brought them over to the group. And our personal experiences and travels amount to a lot, and it is a very educated group as well. Some are studying for their PhDs, some already have one. Many of us speak more than one language (usually three or more).

So I would like to build on what I have learned so far, and see where my curiosity will take me. I am excited, because I found out this past weekend that I actually have a female cousin who is Cameroonian-Chinese. Her dad (my mom's half brother) married a Chinese lady when he was studying in China, and then they went back to Cameroon when he was done. She still lives there, and she and I are friends on FB (I currently live in the US), probably because she is also friends with all my siblings and with some of my cousins. Her FB page says she speaks Chinese, Korean, English and French. I found out she loves CNBLUE, which I do as well. I look forward to exploring my relationship with her and her mom. I have been told they are very nice, and she is a lot younger than me, hence why we don't really know each other. I wonder if she watches Kdramas? :-) She seems to like some of the Korean current music (Kpop). My family is quite diverse as well, as far as who they ended up marrying, so I have cousins who are biracial and who I grew up with. I have an aunt who is Morroccan French, her children are simply gorgeous :-) (and no, I am not biased :-) )

Yeah, the question about "eat your rice" was because I usually don't want to assume when I am not sure about something. We also eat quite a lot of rice in Cameroon, but not as much as in Asia, I think. So when I saw that expression and what happened in the drama, I was curious, so I asked. Back home, the guy would be asking for a full meal, not just for rice. And if he wants rice, he would mention that as well :-)...

I apologize. This is another looooong post of mine, and though it is Korean related (some), it is not really about the drama. I hope that is OK. I don't have anywhere else to write to you, and you know me, I tend to be thorough. That could be my middle name, really :-)... Happy reading :-)...

Oh I saw that you just responded as well. Hope you like what I wrote. Also, I meant to ask you, are you Asian, and if so from where (what is your ancestry)?

If you want to take it somewhere else, here is my email address: [email protected]

You don't have to, just giving you the option :-). Glad you are enjoying your vacation :-). And yes, JJS is really adorable and a VERY GOOD actor :-)!!!!!!

KDaddict,
I wrote you another comment with my email address in it, and it is awaiting moderation. Please make sure you read it as well. You could respond there (to my email), if you want to...

Glad someone answered your initial question to me, Ivoire! That is such a long comment on your background and your recent issue on the forum! (no big issue to me, I don't care much for placing of comments)

I have bookmarked this page to read your comment when I'm taking a longer break! :D

Hello Chloe,

Good to hear from you! :-) Thank you so much for coming back and checking on the comments. I really appreciate your responses and the fact that you will be taking some time to read my rather long comments. I should have kept them shorter, I guess I need to learn how to be shorter when I write on this blog, there is no need to write long comments. I need to restrain myself more.

I hope that you are doing well! If you are a little more curious, you could also read the reactions I got last week when I posted my comment. I was the first one to post, so that will not be hard to miss. It is the OT for YATBLSS, ep. 41-42. Some of my comments here are in reference to the comments written to me last week. As I said, Risa and KDAddict understood what was going on and what happened. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire, so I didn't respond. I wanted to process it first. I do not come here to be negative and to attack people, I stay away from that.

I hope you will enjoy what you read, when you get a chance to do so. You could let me know what you thought. I have included my email address, please feel free to write me there as well, since a lot of my comments are not completely Kdramas related. I am just giving you an option. Have a wonderful day or night, depending on where you live :-)...

Also, did you like (a lot) Mandate of Heaven? Would you recommend it? I read your comment below. Thank you for that.

@Ivoire in reply to 18.1.2.1.10, yes I actually read through it all! What an exotic background! Amazing. In reply to your question about Mandate of Heaven, I would certainly recommend it because I enjoyed it a lot. However, judging by the comments I've read and the overall rating of the show when it was airing, I'm cautious about recommending it to just anyone. I get the feeling that many readers on here are younger than me because of the fangirling in plenty of comments, although I can't be too sure. I think I do have an old, boring taste in kdramas. For instance, I enjoyed Dong Yi quite a bit (which many had criticized as well), so if you liked that, then I would recommend Mandate of Heaven, since the pace, apparent 'stoic acting' from both leads, secret plots and G-rated romance scenes make them pretty similar.

After reading your prose, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm definitely not addicted to kdrama at all, as compared to you and probably many of the people here. I always get the feeling that I'm an addict or I'm hooked, because I will go on a full drama marathon when I'm less busy, finishing 20 episodes in 2 days while skipping plenty of scenes (and meals and sleep). However, I don't know much about the actors, directors, culture and I usually catch about 4 dramas a year. I don't check this site often unless I posted something in the comments.

I do know that most beanies here are true addicts! Definitely can't keep up with the comments in the 'Podcasts' posts and 'Name that drama' posts.

Thanks I've noted your email and will drop you an email if anything less related to the posts comes to mind! With regard to what you termed your 'backlash', I personally don't mind or haven't noticed anything that ever irked me, but perhaps that's because I don't come here too often unless I'm getting less busy (like now, yay!). Just post to your heart's content without replying to an unrelated previous comment like 'Thank you', I guess? Don't ever stop, your obsession is amazing! :D

Hello Chloe,
And thank you for your response. I am currently busy, however I will respond when I can. If you don't mind checking back later, maybe much later, I would appreciate it.
Have a wonderful day, and a wonderful weekend!