Santa Strikes Back! [Year In Review, Part 6]
by Santa Claus
What the ever-lovin’ reindeer feculence? I get home from my overnight trans-earthian sleigh odyssey, settle back with my hard-earned fifths of whiskey to read up on what I’ve missed in dramaland, and find that they’ve finished the year-end reviews without me? This is an outrage! I know who’s getting their presents revoked this year! Goddamn naughty candy cane stuffers. How could those glumdrops possibly consider a year complete without my gleaming snowballs of wisdom? They can shut me out, but they can’t shut me up! I will be heard, even if I have to bribe my hacker elf and actually watch some dramas to do it.
Here’s the Year-End Review you’ve REALLY been waiting for… *Hic!*
What’s Up: The usual. Reindeer up my ass about unfair wages, giving the elves bad ideas about workers’ “rights” and union power. I swear, another year of this labor fiddle-faddle and I’ll be outsourcing to Canadian Caribou and Arctic Oompaloompas.
Dream High: But not too high. Might’ve been your dream my sleigh trampled on last night. Watch where you put that thing.
Manny: A man raises a kid and you make him a hero? Here in the North Pole, a man raises a kid and we call him a man. Okay, fine, an elf.
49 Days: 49 Days to cry three tears? C’mere, I’ll show you real tears.
High Kick 3: Counterattack of the Short Legs: Shhh! Don’t give the elves any bright ideas.
City Hunter: This is the worst comedy I’ve ever seen. Wait, this isn’t Three Dads, One Mom?
Princess(‘) Man: Call me a fuddy-duddy. I like my sugarplum fairies pink and my princesses female.
My Princess: I already did this one!
Me Too, Flower!: The name’s Santa, but I can see how you’d make that mistake.
Royal Family: Yeah it’s lonely at the top.
Can’t Lose: Sure you can. In a marriage, both sides lose.
Best Love: The best love is the kind between a man and his whiskey.
Scent of a Woman: If tango cures cancer, does it also cure boredom?
Girl K: Schoolgirl uniform, thigh-highs, and killing for hire? Best job ever.
Lie to Me: I always do.
Miss Ripley: This is why I’ve instituted a 30-day background check on all new elves.
Thousand Day Promise: We fail, but we try anyway. This is why every third Christmas sucks.
Vampire Prosecutor: Usually when a lawyer sucks your blood they slap you with a bill afterwards.
Baby-Faced Beauty: Why thank you. It’s the night cream made from crushed reindeer antlers and elf earwax.
Poseidon: This guy’s a wet blanket, but he plays a mean game of poker.
Midas: Stingy bastard owes me a drink.
Athena: Bitch thinks she’s better than me.
Warrior Baek Dong-soo: Hey, I deliver these action figures to little girls every year. They’re called Barbie.
You’ve Fallen For Me: Well that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Man of Honor: Not according to my naughty list.
I Need Romance: Like a reindeer needs an opinion.
Paradise Ranch: Is there a river of whiskey flowing through it?
Tree With Deep Roots: Mrs. Claus has a weed-killer that’ll take care of that problem.
The Musical: If I have to watch another rendition of the Elf Nutcracker, I’ll start cracking some nuts.
Sign: If you leave signs, how will you get away with it? Murderers these days.
The Duo: Sometimes I think I was switched at birth.
President: I prefer the term Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North.
White Christmas: This drama’s a sham. No Santa, no Christmas.
Can You Hear My Heart?: Well that’s a rude question to ask a deaf guy. And they call ME insensitive.
Protect the Boss: Aka Santa 101, the first required course for elves at North Pole U.
Myung-wol the Spy: First law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Never fall in love with the shifty South Pole-ian you were sent to kill.
Birdie Buddy: Second law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. No fraternizing with the waddling waterfowl.
Ojakkyo Brothers: Third law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad. Beware of ducks. The waddling bastards.
Thorn Birds: Fourth law of North Pole-ian Counter-Penguin Squad: Enough with the birth secrets!
Crime Squad: I’ve been meaning to call these guys. I’m missing a reindeer muzzle and Rudolph has an alibi.
RELATED POSTS
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 5: Editors’ Picks
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 4: The DramaMeter: highly scientific and foolproof (girlfriday’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 3: Somewhere Over the K-Drama Rainbow (Dahee Fanel’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 2: The Good, The Bad, and The Hmmm… of 2011 (kaedejun’s review)
- 2011 Year In Review, Part 1: Measuring 2011 on the Sticky Scale (javabeans’ review)
- 2011 Beanie Awards: Vote for your favorite dramas of the past year
Tags: 49 Days, Athena: Goddess of War, Baby-Faced Beauty, Best Love, Birdie Buddy, Can You Hear My Heart, Can't Lose, City Hunter, Crime Squad, Dream High, featured, Girl K, High Kick: Counterattack of the Short Legs, I Need Romance, Lie To Me, Man of Honor, Manny, Me Too Flower, My Princess, Myung-wol the Spy, Paradise Ranch, Poseidon, President, Protect the Boss, Royal Family, Scent of a Woman, Sign, The Duo, The Musical, The Princess's Man, Thorn Birds, Tree With Deep Roots, Vampire Prosecutor, Warrior Baek Dong-soo, What's Up, You've Fallen For Me
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1 milkmustache
December 25, 2011 at 8:18 PM
LOL. I laughed so hard at this. Aigoo, my stomach. :D
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t-berry
December 25, 2011 at 9:20 PM
i laugh hard too!!hahaha...u summarize each drama in one or two lines but its completely make sense..love how u describe them..simple and funny!
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im_eve
January 6, 2012 at 11:10 PM
City Hunter: "Wait, this isn’t Three Dads, One Mom?"
mwaha-mwahahahaha
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2 Noelle
December 25, 2011 at 8:21 PM
LMAO! I'm thirsty now.
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3 momosan
December 25, 2011 at 8:23 PM
Merry Christmas Santa, but I'll observe that this is the THIRD year in a row that you have failed to deliver my ILU to my doorstep, and yet partook of the bottle of Courvoisier that I left out for you and the reindeer. Not to mention the run raisin pie and the schnapps that were missing this morning.
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Ani
December 25, 2011 at 8:37 PM
Uh, that explains the mess in my house this morning and the lack of presents. Poor guy was probably so addled that he forgot that he was supposed to leave the presents and not just drop by for a late night snack after drinking. X/
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4 Ani
December 25, 2011 at 8:34 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love the wacky use of the names for commentary. Especially referring to the Greek Named dramas as actual people. Er, gods and goddesses. XD
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5 minisquid
December 25, 2011 at 8:35 PM
Ha ha! So funny! >.<
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6 Ahjumma
December 25, 2011 at 8:35 PM
I didn't think this was funny at all. In fact, it was rather boring. What a useless waste of space!
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Ani
December 25, 2011 at 8:39 PM
*passes you some of momosan's Courvoisier* Loosen up mate. Might do you some good. The stick up your ass might slip out if you didn't clench them chicks so hard. ^_~
Ok, ok. That's mean of me. But really. Loosen up and have a good cheer. If you got nothing nice to say.... Don't want to end up on the naughty list.
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Ani
December 25, 2011 at 8:40 PM
*cheeks
Er, chicks kindof make sense. But no. Cheeks it is. XD
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mardie
December 26, 2011 at 2:45 AM
LOL! ani, u n santa both are hillarious!
p/s : and u sounds drunk, like santa. =p
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LimaKid
December 25, 2011 at 8:48 PM
No, I have to agree. This wasn't funny at all.
However, I enjoyed the hell out of all the alcohol pictures!
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Ani
December 25, 2011 at 9:29 PM
Fair enough. XD
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Ahjumma
December 25, 2011 at 9:19 PM
@ Ani ... now YOU were funny! Really. Thanks for the laugh .. but ... doesn't change my opinion. Mele Kalikimaka!
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Ani
December 25, 2011 at 9:29 PM
Oh cool! Are you Hawaiian or from Hawaii?... Or are you just using a line? XD Ia Manuia le Kerisimasi!
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tapegunslinger
December 26, 2011 at 12:57 AM
"Mele kalikimaka is the thing to say, on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day!"
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Dux
December 26, 2011 at 10:05 PM
If you didn't enjoy it somebody else would.
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A_Donuts
December 29, 2011 at 4:25 PM
Yeah, I agree with you. It was kinda boring.
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7 foraredrose
December 25, 2011 at 8:41 PM
Santa, thank you for writing this recap after you delivered presents - don't think it would have been this funny before xD
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8 nurii
December 25, 2011 at 8:49 PM
Classic santa.
Well, I was hoping for one word per drama, instead I get one full sentence each. Thanks Santa..
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9 Ace
December 25, 2011 at 8:52 PM
LOL! I should've expected this...love it!
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10 crazedlu
December 25, 2011 at 8:54 PM
is it weird that i read this entire post in the "ho ho ho, merrrry christmas" voice. ha.
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jomo143
December 26, 2011 at 5:08 AM
Me, too.
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11 MiMi
December 25, 2011 at 8:55 PM
Whoo! More reviews!
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12 tiacait
December 25, 2011 at 9:01 PM
That last picture of Santa? He ended up that way after trying to keep up with my family today. That's what you get, son!
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13 cv
December 25, 2011 at 9:03 PM
LOL. cute!
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14 mud
December 25, 2011 at 9:07 PM
All I gotta say is the Vampire Prosecutor is lookin mighty fine with his drink.
And of course, a big THANK YOU to everyone involved with the Year End Review. Cheers!
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Linda165
December 26, 2011 at 4:09 AM
Oh, he was gorgeous through out the whole series! I often found myself pausing and staring at the pretty.
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doozy
December 26, 2011 at 8:45 AM
No kidding. There were times when I was like, "huh? They found the killer already? Where was I?" The best kind of distraction...
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15 ramyunsooni
December 25, 2011 at 9:07 PM
Oh, this post was pure gold! I loved it!
"my gleaming snowballs of wisdom" - XD
"Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North" - Are we still talking about Santa?
Merry Christmas! xoxo
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16 Countdown
December 25, 2011 at 9:11 PM
You made me laugh so hard my stomach's still hurt.
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17 pyrogenesis
December 25, 2011 at 9:15 PM
Couldn't agree more!
Best Christmas present ever
Oh, and Santa, I find that blackmail works quite well to keep your workers in line. Everyone has a dirty little secret, after all ^_~
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18 diorama
December 25, 2011 at 9:19 PM
OMG, laughing so hard right now. Some of those made me snort my drink out my nose.
Thank you for your hard work on the Year-End Reviews! It's been a good year.
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jomo143
December 26, 2011 at 5:11 AM
I almost had hot coffee out my nose first thing this morning at
Can't Lose: Sure you can. In a marriage, both sides lose.
I read it at first as "In a divorce."
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19 Elana
December 25, 2011 at 9:26 PM
"President: I prefer the term Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North."
You made me laugh. I hope you hack, eh, visit, next year!
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alua
December 26, 2011 at 3:20 AM
I loved that one too!
And the Protect the Boss one.
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20 jazza
December 25, 2011 at 9:29 PM
Scent of a Woman: If tango cures cancer, does it also cure boredom? --- I LOLed at this!
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21 wap
December 25, 2011 at 9:33 PM
The BEST year end review!
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22 mychocoheart
December 25, 2011 at 9:52 PM
Everyone spare a thought for poor vampire prosecutor who can only drink a glass of blood this Christmas when everyone else is enjoying various alcoholic beverages.
Thanks Santa for this lovely present.
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Mystisith
December 26, 2011 at 4:26 AM
Don't worry for Tae Yeon-nim : I stock poches, uh bottles, of an exceptional Grand Cru Réserve in my cellar. Certified Organic.
According to him it tastes of berries and wood with a touch of copper. Well, i don't know about that. All i know this morning, is that he has a hangover and that he is wasting all the hot water of the boiler for his bath.
" steam coming to my bedroom ".
As for me, i will eat steack, a porridge of whole grain cereals and a spinach soup for my breakfast.
Must be my anemia hitting back again.
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23 Angela
December 25, 2011 at 9:52 PM
LMAO!
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24 limegreenglo
December 25, 2011 at 9:57 PM
Oh geez, this was so good. And I came here expecting actual reviews...I guess I forgot the nature of Santa.
Merry Christmas!
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25 Cynthia
December 25, 2011 at 10:00 PM
That last pic is really my Uncle Will. He played Santa for the kids in the family, got totally gooned on eggnog and passed out on the living room couch.
Another Christmas for the family stories has been created.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Thanks for the funny!
:)
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26 jandoe
December 25, 2011 at 10:04 PM
love this!
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27 ajewell
December 25, 2011 at 10:21 PM
Wow, I even heard this in Santa's crotchety old voice. Mission achieved, lol.
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28 ajewell
December 25, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Wow, I even heard this in Santa's crotchety old voice. Mission accomplished, lol.
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29 more
December 25, 2011 at 10:34 PM
Well at least this review did not SPOIL ALL THE DRAMAS THEY WHERE REVIEWing *couch* kaedejun -_-
any way MERRY CHRISMAS SANTA FUNNY REVIEW
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kaedejun
December 26, 2011 at 6:20 AM
bitter much?
really - please get over yourself. it's christmas - not the end of the drama world! you are in serious need of a drink!
thanks for the review Santa!
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more
December 27, 2011 at 9:07 AM
NOPE not at all JUST that telling us all the cliffhangers basically telling everyone what was goiing to happen without a SPOILER ALERT IS NOT cool. Next time please use a spoiler alert its common sense. Im not trying to argue with u its just being honest
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more
December 27, 2011 at 9:09 AM
U should try reading ur reviews people where upset anyway i wont dwell i just wont read ur stuff MERRY chrismas and no hard feelings ^_^
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30 YY Chats with Toast Between Bites
December 25, 2011 at 10:41 PM
It wasn't me stole your muzzle, I swear on my nose. It was the turkey that did it.
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YY Chats with Toast Between Bites
December 25, 2011 at 10:54 PM
Ok, ok I did it! I saw the muzzle just laying there, so I wore it quick as lightning and you walked right past me and got my cousin Harold instead, God bless his soul.
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31 kfan13
December 25, 2011 at 10:44 PM
Best one yet! Kudos to Santa...make that cheers & fighting till next year....
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32 wanne
December 25, 2011 at 11:33 PM
Wow, Santa sure watched a lot of dramas this year.
Thanks for the laughs!
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33 berry
December 25, 2011 at 11:38 PM
Yeah Santa i vub you, will you come next year too?
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34 Thatgirl
December 25, 2011 at 11:39 PM
Well.... That was interesting.... Not sure I fully comprehend what are you are saying though, santa...
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35 aX
December 26, 2011 at 12:45 AM
Not sure what's going on... ?
Did santa drink some spoiled milk & outdated cookies or something?
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36 Kiongna
December 26, 2011 at 12:54 AM
Very clever Santa :) I did laugh and chuckle at most except the ones my simple brain could not decipher LOL, was frowning and squinting a lot - thinking..*shrugs*.. no matter must be funny to those who understood the ones I didn't LOLLLLLL
Thanks so much to all that have done reviews!
*Two Thumbs Up*
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone!
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37 tapegunslinger
December 26, 2011 at 12:56 AM
I just spit water all over my new laptop! I love you guys, merry christmas!
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38 Joshua_Ahjussi
December 26, 2011 at 1:39 AM
Absolute quality as always, has me giggling in bed like a tipsy elf.
Thank you Santa (or rather your little helpers)
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39 sherry
December 26, 2011 at 2:28 AM
I see "The Princess Man" a lot. I'm glad you pointed it out. I hope fans realize that that little typo makes the drama sound to be entirely about something else. ~LOL Cross-dressing Joseon prince, I mean, princess, I mean, royal..something or other..
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40 SheThatWillNotBeNamed
December 26, 2011 at 3:16 AM
Hahaha... There's a reason why you're the only Santa in the universe! You rock!! Hahaha.. Merry Jingles! ;)
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41 dramabliss
December 26, 2011 at 4:08 AM
LOFL... Whackiest review of the season!
*reaches for soju* Here's to you, dear Santa! And to all Dramabeaners everywhere!
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42 Linda165
December 26, 2011 at 4:12 AM
Apart from the booze (because of the booze?), I think Santa is been a very nice Santa this year with his review.
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43 Mystisith
December 26, 2011 at 4:40 AM
Thanks for the good laugh !
The worst is that a lot of what you say is true...
Poor Santa, i wouldn't like to take your job for all the money in the world. But nice to see that alcohol only enhances your good traits. If you need names for your naughty list next year, just ask, so i can enjoy an army of angry reindeers trampling on the yard of those bad guys. See You !
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44 ck1Oz
December 26, 2011 at 6:25 AM
LOL even your admirers sound drunk :-)
Thank you I am still laughing way too much at the Supreme Glorious Radiant Dictator of the North.
It's so mean I can't stop laughing :-)
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MJP
December 26, 2011 at 10:07 PM
Yes, that made me think of a very bad joke, but I'll keep it to myself.
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45 olsen
December 26, 2011 at 8:01 AM
U watched alllll that?!
My my...
And the review is so damn funny!
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46 oftheshore
December 26, 2011 at 8:07 AM
Lie to Me: I always do. -> goes so well with 'Maybe I will' from the poll:)
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47 doozy
December 26, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Hahhahahahha. Love this clever year-end roundup! No wonder the elves are revolting coz Santa spends all his time drunk and watching K dramas, although sometimes that's the only way to watch K dramas. ;)
Ah, Min Tae Yeon... Whenever I see a pic of him, I still can't get over how pretty he is.
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48 Ashley
December 26, 2011 at 8:52 AM
That was great! My favorite was, "Well that's a lawsuit waiting to happen!"
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49 travelcrazy
December 26, 2011 at 9:10 AM
ho..ho..ho!
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50 Momo
December 26, 2011 at 9:16 AM
SNL:Korea should do a skit off of this lol
Really funny!
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