So sad. Yet so happy, too. Man, I wish I had Kim Chang-wan sing at my wedding. Two of my favorite actors/voices.

@Samsooki,

LOL! That’s kinda harsh!........LOL it's one of my favorite scenes in CP.....you know, when no one is really at fault, but you don't want to be the one to apologize (since you're not at fault)....I thought it was a really cute way to get around the whole issue . And get that person to speak to you again...which is the point right?

I think it's harder for men and women to maintain a friendship with a single friend, especially when one of them is married. Either the other half must approve of said friendship, and they become a threesome. Or there's that whole awkwardness and drifting away deal.

In the end true friendship will stand the test of TIME. Sounds trite but it's true.

So what's it going to be.....jjangmyun or chinese food!?

@samsooki

Tsk! That is why I don't believe in hanging out and being close with my boyfriend's friends. Like George Castanza said "worlds collide".

Awww, so cuuuute! The pics look so natural, not at all posed. It looks to me like a friend took the shots while bride and groom-to-be were hanging out together. So very cute!

Huh, I had no idea Oh Man-seok was friends with the Voice.

Will be looking forward to the formal tux/suit and wedding gown pics.

Bonus if we see the guests too.

@Samsooki: "but if you don’t want to be friends with me then I’m going to continue to be acting childish whenever I see you and I’ll continue to be a little bit bitter.”

You should respect her space and her decision for whatever reason to distance herself from you. By acting childish, you are making it harder for her to be friends with your wife, and that relationship is more important because they were friends before you came into the picture.

It sounds to me like she doesn't want to be your 100% friend, and guess what, she doesn't have to be. She has the right to choose to keep you at 50% or less, and you need to respect that.

"honestly, pretty much, she is close friends with everybody I know, but not with me"

The message seems pretty clear -- she is not comfortable around you. Respect her feelings.

"I think this stemmed from the fact that I told her that I really dislike 50% friendship friends, and, since she apparently doesn’t have me at the top on her list of friends."

Does your wife know that you asked this friend of hers to put you on the top of her lists? How does your wife feel about that? What does "at the top on list" mean? Do you want phone calls? Lunch dates? Long emails? Walks in the park? With or without the wife around? How much of her time and attention are you demanding -- and more importantly, why are you asking this of her?

In a nutshell, broken record point of this post: Always respect a woman's boundaries and never EVER shame or guilt a woman into erasing lines she has drawn on the sand. She has every right to her space without being subjected to bitterness or childishness.

It's a very relaxed shoot. I like it. If they took any, I'd like to see some of the traditional images too. Those are always my favorites.

Samsooki, based on your overall comments on this site, you seem a kinda intense and involved guy, not that there's anything wrong with that (Seinfeld!). You expect an awwwwwful lot from your Korean entertainment and see more in it than maybe was intended. Perhaps the same could be said of this woman you are having an issue with. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.

Good points all. Nom Kitteh, yeap, my wife is well aware, we talk about everybody. My wife basically has the same opinion as Muffin, which is that I tend to expect a lot out of people, and when they fail to live up to those standards, it is disappointing. This is why my wife tends to be way more popular and have a lot more friends than I do. She expects much less out of people.

But so be it, because I don't want really want to waste my life with "friends" that aren't 100% friends. And it isn't long walks or stuff like that I want (isn't that kind of ... the wrong presumption to make anyway?). Really, I want what most guys want - in a single word, the word is loyalty, and it doesn't matter if the friend is a guy or a girl. Loyalty is really everything, isn't it? As for me, I give my fidelity to my ever shrinking group of friends, and whether it is moving boxes or furniture, flying cross country on my own dime on a moment's notice to take care of my friend's dad's funeral arrangements, or taking a case to court for a friend, or standing up to a punk who insults my friend's gf, or promising to take care of my friend's kid if anything happens to the parents, or showing up to a friend's graduation, whatever it is, I give fidelity 100% and it is important for me to know that the people I care about are ppl I can trust.

And while my wife is friends with a lot of people, who knows how many of those people are ones she can trust, and how many are ones who will talk about her behind her back, or not lift a finger to defend her if it means costing them something. How many of those people are ones who will shower her with presents on her birthday, but when something goes really wrong and she needs these people, how many will stand up for her and help bear the load?

As for this person, she is very much like me, but she has her own set of people, and apparently, I didn't make her cut (for whatever reason). That's fine, but I can't help being disappointed.

"isn’t that kind of … the wrong presumption to make anyway?"

Perhaps. I was going by several of your comments and it seemed that if this person can reduce you to childishness or cause bitterness or make you feel like sending a long email to her after a short meeting of moving boxes, then I, possibly erroneously, inferred that your feelings for her are strong. I genuinely don't know what 100% friendship means -- and it could mean being there for a friend's emotional needs (long walks, email exchanges, phone calls, etc.), -- i.e., loyalty -- and that means an enormous investment of TIME. And if a guy is married, why would a single girl want to invest in that amount of time and why would the guy want it to the point of feeling bitter? I don't have answers -- those are just some of the questions that popped into my mind.

I do think that your friend is in an awkward position. Under other circumstances, if she didn't want to be friends with someone, she could chat with your wife about it. Now she cannot and I can see her reacting by distancing herself.

Furthermore, if she is a single, attractive woman, then she possibly doesn't want to invest large swathes of time on a married man because in a community, single attractive women are often subject to gossip and rumor or she has had bad experiences with men making demands on her time that they may not have had any business making, and being single and attractive and female require one to build some pretty hefty walls. Or so I hear since I myself am not attractive.

" And it isn’t long walks or stuff like that I want (isn’t that kind of … the wrong presumption to make anyway?). Really, I want what most guys want - in a single word, the word is loyalty "

Um, I don't think that's what most guys want. In my opinion (as a single woman) is that I understand why she might feel weird. From your point of view you just want friendship, but what if you see it from her point of view? As a single woman, if my friend's husband wanted to be closer with me and was upset when I kept a distance, it would make me uncomfortable. Even if I was sure there are no ulterior motives (like he's hitting on me or whatever), I would be suspcious why a married man would be seeking closer friendships with single women, enough that he feels disapointed and bitter like you described. You can't force friendship, and maybe she's feeling the pressure from you and that is making her pull away.

@ Nom Kitteh and others.....

Well put, sort of got lost in trying to be supportive so went with the what I thought was diplomatic.
Samsooki, what ever the ending, best wishes to all.

My last hijack comment - I have seriously tested JB's patience long enough.

Loyalty isn't about time investment, necessarily. It is about understanding that should the need arise, that the person will be there. This is a little cheesy, but it's like the movie with Chris O'Donnell (Three Musketeers). When the need arose, all of the disbanded Musketeers (dozens and dozens of them) showed up when they were called. They only showed up once at the end, but that was when they were needed. It could be that they would never be needed. Or to bring it back into the k-drama context, it is like Go Eun Chan having her co-workers all defend her to Choi Han Gyul. They show loyalty, and as I remark to my wife a lot as we watch, I say, "THOSE are the kinds of friends I want to have." Ask any guy who has watched CP, whether they would want friends like the friends that Go Eun Chan had...

Each of us should be stable and mature enough to be able to get what we need to survive, and to make it through the day. We should have enough skills and resources to be independent and stand on our own two feet. BUT, making it through the day gets way, way easier if, in the back of your mind, you know what if you can't make it through the day, that you have peeps who will be there for you to help.

Among the guys that I know, loyalty really ranks at the top of the list in terms of attributes we want friends to have. Friends can be somewhat slow, or they can always be running short on cash, they can be terrible dancers with no rhythm, they can have no sense of style and/or be boring, and so on, but if they are loyal, then the rest doesn't really matter. does it? I'll pay for every dinner, I'll spend the extra time explaining stuff, I'll stifle my laughter at clubs, I'll defend my homeboys (or homegirls) to my last breath, for those who would do the same for me.

***

As for the single vs. married aspect, this is an unfortunate truth - there aren't any easy ways or fool-proof ways to deal with the insecurities and potential danger issues that inevitably arise when deailng with single and married people. Still, my wife often remarks that she is saddened by the fact that my set of friends seems to be shrinking as I pare down who I consider to be "true" friends, but then again, she may not be entirely unhappy by that result either for reasons noted above.

" I’m a little nervous, but because it’s the day my beloved Hye-jin will become my lifetime best friend, I’m incredibly thrilled.”

thats adorable, i wish them both the best of luck.
There so meant to be together <3

We wish you both an everlasting happiness of a married life, congratulations to a lucky couple like you. Hope for more success to both of you and GOD BLESS Always!