"but I also do respect his honesty in the interview in admitting he’s pretty much been a lousy father, but wants to rectify that now."

In my mind, coming clean doesn't make him a better father. It may be true that he's not after her estate, but that's besides the points to me.

"The only hangup I have is the fact that he was known to have hit Choi while they were married"

Hard to empathize with a man who beat his wife. You've probably seen the pictures too. I can't empathize with this bastard.

Most of the press has been so condemning that I wondered how true it was. A lot of it sounds like fact but I don't think it's up to us netizens to judge whether someone loves his kids or not. Especially if it's true that he's not going to ask for custody, and just wants to see them to be a dad figure.

I am with belleza on this subject.

It's just hard to see the good side of a man who beat his wife, and his face doesn't help either.

"and his face doesn't help either"???

uh, whatever dude.

"The only hangup I have is the fact that he was known to have hit Choi while they were married..."

to be more specific, Jo Sung Min bashed Choi Jin Sil when she was in the final trimester of her pregnancy with her second child.. which is something one cannot get over.

For people who aren't as familiar with this couple, how much of the details of this wife-beating has been confirmed (i've seen some pictures so i know it's real, but i mean like the actual facts) and how much is people repeating stuff they've heard online?

someone who heavy drinker and did domestic violence has disturbed behavior!! don't give it to him, he is also cheater ,, oh my God he is such a hypocrite people .

~~ Finally, Jo was asked about his intentions regarding Choi’s estate, seeing as how most of the world considers him to be “playing at dad” to get to her money. He said, “I’ll say it again: I have no interest in her property. When we were together, I didn’t know how much it was worth. I just want to take on my responsibilities as father.”~~

i am not sure about these so what about his mistress to be Wife now , he such liar, i don't believe what he said seems he just take the opportunity

~~ In response to grandma’s accusation that he’s never been there for a child’s birthday in the past five years, Jo is rather honest, saying, “I haven’t done much or been a support to my children in the past, but with their mother gone, I want to be a support to them starting now and take on my fatherly responsibilities, that’s all.”~~~

yeah he is busy since he lLIVE IN MARS BECAUSE IT TOOK many years to come to visit his kids

"how much of the details of this wife-beating has been confirmed (i’ve seen some pictures so i know it’s real, but i mean like the actual facts)"

Depends on what you mean. I saw news footage (including her being treated at the hospital) when it happened, and I believe that she had stated that it was the father who did this. When she was beaten, she was pregnant with child (fact), and she was emotionally distraught when the reporters came up to her.

There's more to this story, and there was gossip around what "really happened" and "why." Not worth repeating here.

I understand child custody cases are all more complicated than what the public sees, and that fathers should have a right to see their children. I can't get past the domestic violence.

nobody knows what's truly in the heart of another, especially through media. yet he's definitely fighting an image war - the guy still has to go on living as a member of the community.

one thing's for sure: public outcry has made him change his tune several times, probably because he's losing his image war even before stepping into court - and judges are also members of the community, read the media.

if reports leaned toward "sob stories" of choi's survivors, they were often reactions to his legal actions to freeze choi's funds & intent to litigate (first it was for property + custody, then it was just property, now finally it's just to be a father?!)

vitriol and vilifying him as a deadbeat figurehead may be a part of it, but most of it is heated passion born out of the public's complicity to meddle in people's private business (this time for what's "morally just"?) -- from day one of choi's celebrity, she opened it to the world, and the fools/vultures rushed in. celebrity partly brought them together, too.

honestly, i think people are giving Jo a really hard time for what he's done in the past and how the media portrays him as.
Yeah he did beat Choi up and was a pretty bad father/husband/etc etc, but if Choi was able to forgive him, why must we (as outsiders of the family) meddle in their business so much?

NO ONE's going to know exactly what Jo really wants. Heck, we don't even know if Choi's mother or brother are actually keeping the money for the children (although i highly doubt they're keeping it for themselves, just playing devil's advocate).

I don't know. What if he's just being genuine?

I don't know much about this person, yeah buying sympathy from public "wanting to be a father". If he really wants to be a father let the children be with mom's relatives.
Such a scary thing to think that he has used violence in the past, I do hope he doesn't end up being like a father to baby P who recently died here in the UK.
I just don't buy his story.

This man is just a lousy piece-of-xxx. He says he doesn't want any of Choi's estate, but because the children will be supported by the estate, he will have access to that money if he is a caregiver. IF he becomes the primary caregiver, then that's even worse because he would have a significant amount of control not only over the money but also the children.

Choi wanted him out of her and the children's life to pay off his debts--that means something. HE accepted the money--which says even more.

If he had any decency at all, he would let the family heal and get on with getting some normalcy back into the kids' lives. They will suffer the psychological ramifications of losing a mother so early and to suicide for a long, long time. The last thing they need is a deadbeat loser of a father trying to milk them out of an inheritance.

Thank goodness the children have a grandmother who is looking out for them.

I guess an ideal situation right now might be the Choi family allowing him to have contact with his kids and to be part of their lives. Perhaps he's changed, but it's quite risky if he hasn't, so ideally he'd be allowed to come to birthday parties, etc., until Choi Jin-shil's mother and brother feel they can trust him. Then they can slowly let him take on a more father role if he deserves it.

...but as Sevenses puts it, it's not like I have any say in this, now should I^^

I said it before and i said it again... you beat your pregnant wife you don't deserve to be a father!

"but most of it is heated passion born out of the public’s complicity to meddle in people’s private business (this time for what’s “morally just”?)"

That's a good point, Ed.

thanks for a more balanced perspective. even if he is not the ideal dad, he can't be all bad, though, it would help his cause to relinquish rights to choi's property. it's interesting, however, that choi had asked a friend rather than her mother to take care of her children. perhaps, she didn't really what her mother to be entrusted with her kids or she didn't want to burden her? in either case, i do think jo is probably not the best guardian.
i don't know exactly what happened during their divorce, but it's possible that the physical abuse was not only one-sided. it's just that jo, being a male athlete, took the blows better. my point is, no one knows exactly what happened, so we don't have the right to judge. i doubt even jo and choi remembered everything that happened during their fights.
plus, there is this wonderful professor i respect that he had been close to as a student, so at least he recognizes the good in people.

um. i find that online cafe really disturbing.

This man can say anything to cover up his true motives, but he can't fool me.
I have no respect for any man who beats his wife up, THAT IS JUST MESSED UP RIGHT THERE.
He should not be forgiven.

The kids deserve better than a bastard like him for a father o___o

1. He was in debt. As a professional athlete, he should make enough to support his family, but he overspent on whatever, so that he was in debt.
2. He signed the contract to give up his parental right because as he said, the kids were best to be with mom? I never heard that the kids would be best to be with one parent instead of both. And usually it's the judge who takes away this right, not volunteering give up.
3. Oh, I know why, because he can get something in return - pay off his debt.
4. Where were you the past 5 years? You could not or were not allowed to see your kids, but did you ever tried to reconcile with your wife? Did you ever write? Did you ever stop by the school just to look at them from a far? NOPE.
5. If you are such a caring father, don't you know better that you should leave the kids alone, have time to grief their loss, rather than create such a public mess?
6. Why would you say that you need your deceased ex-wife's money to raise your kids? Huh? You want to raise them, be a father figure in their lives, but sorry, you do not have money? Last time I heard you do have a decent job.

Give me a break. I don't care if the news is one sided news, the fact is he knew it better that the public is not going along with him, in the past and now, even a normal common sense person would figure it out, why does he not know? Where is his adviser, mentor, manager and the wife? All those people can't give him a reasonable saying that "this is not a time"???? He is such a loser. I feel so sorry for his wife, who was his mistress, hahaha, why would you think he will treat you right when he can't even treat his ex-wife right??? As his parents, I would feel so disappointed too...

oh, and i am mad at the actress too. Why would you care so much about your image, about what people think of you when you do know that your two kids need you? You are the only one they have. Why??? Even if you are the reason that somebody died, so what, do you want to make someone else feel bad that she is the reason you died? I mean, you see your kids everyday, why would you not think about them that they need you there? If you do need to go to another world, why would you not settle everything before you go, so that whoever stay behind can move on? OK, I am harsh, but I am mad, at least leave a suicide note :-(

The friend or the manager said that she wants her to take care of the kids, oh well, it's just a saying... I would ask my friends to watch over my kids too, I would ask everyone... doesn't mean that I want my kids to stay with them... Am I making sense? Probably not...

I wonder what really happened in her life to have her think so poorly of herself? An abusive husband, a suicide -- what happened to cause her to think so little of her worth? There are no easy answers. I could never voluntarily leave my children, no matter how bad things were in my life, but my life has been a private one, so I cannot judge hers.

I can't forgive the abuse, or understand it. I've had physical fights with my ex before he was my ex, but there was always enough restraint, no matter how many drinks were drunk, so there's no excuse for that. Hit a wall.

These poor children.

How I see it is...if you love your wife enough you will love your children even more. A husband who beats his wife while pregnant can't seem to be easily seen as "tender" even if he speaks golden words. I think traits and habits are hard to change. Image on the outside can change but what remains is personality. What I say is since the kids are young and they are used to live with the Choi's family, what's the point of changing environments? I think they should remain where they are and it's not like he can't see his children. :)

"I wonder what really happened in her life to have her think so poorly of herself? "

Choi Jin Shil's struggled most of her life.
-No father.
-Too poor to go to college.
-Sole Breadwinner of her family.
-Close friend of hers (original manager?) died in the mid-90s.
-Domestic violence
-Blacklisted after the dissolution of her marriage.
-Lingering Custody battle
-Medicated for clinical depression
-Suicide of close friend, then accusations

It makes me emotional just thinking how about all she's overcome. And then replay certain interviews in my mind, and how deeply, deeply she felt about things, the cycles of magic and loss in her life.

belleza, thank you for your response. I didn't really mean the actual events, but more the inner self. Not to belittle those tragedies you listed. All of them are significant and very sad. I guess I was just wondering out loud what it is that makes one person survive and another not? I wish terrible things didn't happen to people, and if they did, that everyone would find the inner strength, the will to overcome them. But clinical depression is a tough one to overcome. I feel so sorry for her.

D: gah, I don't know. This reminds me of my aunt who was marrid to a man who beat her and cheated on her. His side of the story was that he came from a really deadbeat family, and that he was really happy to have married my aunt, loved her a lot, etc. But she found out about his family and sort of ignored him over time, and to grab her attention he cheated on her, etc. he was a really handsome guy apparantly, so it wasn't hard.

I still don't know. There's so much to a story than he's a wife beater, he had debt, done. It's all gray, not black and white, but you can't ignore the fact that he had beaten her, etc. AHGH, I don't know much about this at all.

I'm just wondering. The kids are going to grow up with their grandparents. Is that enough? They've already experience the death of their mother, already part of this big scandal, what's with their dad, all that. It's going to be tough growing up without their mom, and wondering what would've happened if they were with dad, whether they could've worked it out or if it would've turned for the worse.

I still feel ill about Jo, whether or not he does want to relinquish his parental rights, just felt that after your ex-wife killed herself it gave him a reality check that he should have been a good father and husband, or at least as a father 0_0

Belleza, after reading what Choi JIn-shil had gone through in her life, it made me more sad to think about how she was still able to handle it but celebrities are also human that can feel pain anytime they feel that there's something wrong T_T

if he is given the rite to have his kids, he will be a BIG burden to his kids in the long run. eg-running into prob and the kids had to bail him out of it sort. as if he had not done enough harm to their childhood and their mother, he should SERIOUS get lost. just by donating a misery sperm does not qualified his rites to be the father in their lives! the kids can and should decide for themselves when they are old enough but not now. cuz they are craving for any sort of affection due to the void they have and it will make them prone to abuse of any sort.

He beat his wife. There's your point in further vilifying him. He might even beat those kids, what a bastard. As someone who grew up without a father, trust me, they're not needed, especially when they're DEADBEATS and abusers like this turd.

if he really wants to be & act like a dad as he says he does, given his past history (which is spectacularly less than stellar) he should be happy with probational visitation rights, at least at first. maybe when he proves himself he can vie for greater custody. just my two cents...

"What I say is since the kids are young and they are used to live with the Choi’s family, what’s the point of changing environments? I think they should remain where they are and it’s not like he can’t see his children".

I agree. The kids are already very traumatised as it is, with the loss of their dear mother. What's the use of giving Jo Sung-min custody to them - other than to ease HIS guilt (for being a deadbeat dad) and conscience? If he truly cares for the kids, then he should do the unselfish thing and consider what's best for them. I feel it would be much better for kids to continue living with their grandmother and uncle, whom they are already very close to, and try to regain some sense of normalcy rather than be forced to live with a dad they never knew existed - and who could potentially harm them - whether physically or psychologically, like he did to their mother. He can says whatever he wants now, but I'll never trust a man who beats a pregnant woman. If he is truly repentant, he should be patient and wait for the kids to grow up a little. When they are ready and older, he may then ask for visitation rights so they can gradually get to know each other. Let the kids decide for themselves whether to accept this person into their lives or not. But definitely not now, it's too traumatic for the kids and Choi Jin Shil's family. I know from experience, that one can grow up happy without ever knowing your dad. Families these days do not necessarily need to consist of a dad and mom, extended family members can play a big role too as long as there is love.

thanks for the answer to my question way up there. I asked because it seems like most of the fans on sites like this don't even know who Choi Jin Sil or Jo Sung Min are but they hear things from other comments and they're suddenly all angry. I'm not saying they're bad to hate the husband but if you didn't know about the case from the start, you're hearing a very twisted story by media, fans and everyone. It's just funny to hear people who don't know anything about the couple until a month ago taking such extreme sides.

So as a child who has a deadbeat dad I am probably biased in saying that he doesn't deserve to have custody of the kids.

My mom has taken care of us and if I didn't have her I would never live with my father. I would want to live with my "real family" the people who have been there for me and sacrificed for me, and truly love me.

I believe in my heart as a parent if you truly love your children, you will do what is within your means to be a part of their lives. He could have called them, written them, done something. All he does is talk and talk, but there are no actions on his part to "rectify" his past deeds.

Of course, I do not know the whole story but if the focus is on these children then they should be with their Grandma and Uncle, people who are constants in their lives, and love and care for them. They need stability, and I just cannot imagine being forced to live with your deadbeat dad and his new wife, and his new family.

I don't know how old the kids are, but I wonder if they will ask the kids what they want. I feel like he shouldn't get custody rights but if he is truly honest about wanting to see his kids and being a part of their lives then little steps of making time to see them and be a part of their lives will go better than him trying to win them in court.

I think he's a scumbag for abusing his pregnant wife and giving up his custody of his kids to pay off his debt but I think he didn't have any choice but come out and say he wants to be a part of his kids life now. I think its a catch 22 for him - damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Who knows if he's being sincere about wanting to see his kids? But if he kept quiet after the suicide people probly would accuse him of not caring about his kids at all again - maybe out of sense of duty of being the remaining biological parent he's just saying all this.. But yea I agree that he doesn't deserve to be near his kids unless Choi's family think so..poor kids to be in the middle of all this..why did CJS have to leave these kids behind?..sigh..

Even though JSM might want to be the father his own children again and you can't always look at the past for someone's actions otherwise they might never be accepted for any change of character, CJS's children have already suffered from her suicide and based on the fact that the better environment for child rearing will most probably be in her own family rather than the father, I really hope that CJS's children will be placed in the custody of CJS's brother and mother.

this just sounds like Jo wants to not look like a horrible person PR wise, why else go on tv & tell strangers about your personal issues?

if Choi really wants to see Choi Jin Shil's kids he needs to man up, beg on his knees to the Chois & say "i'm sorry for EVERYTHING. please let me see the kids." this guy has cause too much hurt that was so unnecessary.

this just sounds like Jo wants to not look like a horrible person PR wise, why else go on tv & tell strangers about personal issues?

if Jo really wants to see Choi Jin Shil's kids he needs to man up, beg on his knees to the Chois & say "i'm sorry. please let me see the kids." this guy has cause too much hurt that was so unnecessary.

I wouldn't give the kids to him, sure CJS(God bless her soul) forgave him. But how many women who had been in an abusive relationship blame their partner for what happen to them? Most of them blame theself or tell ppls that it "When my husband is sober he loves me very much, he only beats me when he's drunk he doesn't know what he's doing..." Don't give the kids the wife beater! If he want to man up and do something for his kids if he truly care for them then there are many other ways he can support them.

I think there are more to CJS's suicide. I think she must have suffered depression and not just because she cared about what other people say. Does she have work? Is she taking any anti depressants?

thank you for posting this and providing new perspective and updates on the situation.
its definitely a complex affair, but as long as the children are treasured, and the best thing done for THEM, then all is well.

I think that netizens have platyed a positive role in bringing details of the case to light, but continued interferece will have a detrimental effect. its interesting how they campaign against him than campaign for the children's rights. They could do so much more good if they could highlight the case as being on behalf of children in similar situations all over korea. I am sure this is not the only one.

well.. even if he does want custody even not legal.. thats a huge deal. id ssay give him like visitation rights. but like the monitored kind. its sad if something happens to those kids. i mean there is a lot that could. and im still doubtful about him, cause like he beat CJS when she was pregnant with the youngest. so like wth. and so much other stuff we dont know. i just wish the justice system would think about it well.

it hurts to read those CJS comments till now. i know she was really good mom to her kids and a good friend. after all she has been through, struggled to keep on going. its hard and to get through a bad dirvorce is a lot. losing someone dear to you and be accused of that. man. that sucks.

Maybe he's using his children as a bargaining chip ! Come on !! A guy who had debts can now take care of the expenses of 2 children ??

choi's children should be in the custody of her brother and mother. he beat hi swife, isn't there a more likely chance that he'll beat up the children as well? also he doesn't need custody of his children just to be be a better father. If he truly cares, he would give up his parental rights of his children to someone who can devote their time and effort into raising the two kids.

I hope they put the estate in some sort of trust that releases the bulk of it when the kids are adults so no adult can touch it, maybe just for monthly child support. I would hate to see kids with nothing when they reach adulthood.

I do think the most the father should get is monitored visitation rights. They guy seems to have a past of physical abuse and he sold his rights to the kids. Those are 2 unforgivable factors in my book. I mean the eldest kid looks to be around 7 or so if he has not seen the kids from five years then they probably hardly know him.

I have not followed what when on the past (abuse, cheating etc) but now that I heard all the details...I find it horrifying that this man if you can call him that would do something like that to his own wife, children and family.

1. He abused her when she was pregnant and cheated on her with his current wife then mistress.

2. He gave his up children in exchange for MONEY for his debts.

3. IF he wanted to be a good father, why hasn't he visited his children during the past years when their mother was still alive?

Korean society really needs to get it together. WTF is this ish about the rights of the children going to the father if the sole caretaker passed away? Why hasn't Korea addressed the issue of domestic violence and deadbeats fathers?

If he really and truly loved his children, he should have work something out with the family in order to see his children (Monitored visitation) and not made this all about money which was the first thing out of his month. Her body wasn't cold yet and he comes out with statement stating he's going to fight for property rights and custody of his children. Give me a freaking break.

shameless jerk.
@ belleza thanks

Dear author(who wrote this article),

Regarding about Choi's case had indeed let me see the real world and the ugly side.In fact,Me myself have been through this when I was young.Reading this actually takes me back to when I was like Choi's kids.
Again,I cried when I thought about it.No matter what happens,even now I promise myself that I will never marry and niether will I have BF relationships.Till now I remain single and stood firm.When you grow out,you realised how much you will be hating the father and how much pain you been through.The kids should be glad that they had their grandma,I was being dumped into an orphanage near a rural area which everyday will wake us at 4 and let us sleep at 2 when most of the time spending doing house chores.
I bet that life will be tough but we have to move on is that simple.Same with the kids.
And I agree with you,the father is not all interested with the kids.