While I understand why many enjoy the trope, I absolutely do not. I suffer from pretty severe second hand embarrassment and I hate to watch this. I know it is stupid of me to feel that way, after all it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but I can't help it. Every time it happens I cringe so bad.

First to comment ??

Oh My god. This. I cannot tel you how much I cringe in my heart in such situations, maybe because I've been in such positions more times than I would like to disclose. But it's so so embarrasing and heartbreaking at the same time..and the happiness on reciprocation! These can definitely make watching a drama worthwhile...However, sometimes, the road goes the other way...and there hits the massive second lead syndrome

I agree- I LOVED Cindy in Producers and so badly wanted Seung Chan to like her back!

it is a trope that leaves me completely indifferent. I don´t feel second-hand embarrassment.

I like it for a bit, but not if it's dragged out. It was perfect in BOF. Hehe that screencap of Gu Jun Pyo in the swimming pool plotting rubber-duckie pranks. Legendary indeed.

I haven't yet watched The Producers so I skipped over the last bit to avoid spoilers. Thanks murasakimi for this :)

Wow, I didn't recognize this as a trope! It's not my catnip but I really enjoy it because I live in hope that things will work out for the HEA, as they NEVER do IRL ?. These examples are just killer, what fun to revisit them all, thanks!

I know Cindy will be on this list, but Baek Seung-chan also had a one-way crush towards Ye-jin (Gong Hyo-jin). He also misinterpreted some actions of his sunbae whenever Ye-jin admires him like a puppy. :)

When I saw the tagline, I thought, meh, that's just cringe-y. Then as you went through the line of dramas I realized how much I do like this trope, as it usually does allow for significant growth for the characters (Cindy in Producers, Deok Sun in Reply 1988).

It reminds me of my favorite Shakespeare play, Twelfth Night, where my favorite couple get together not because they fall in love with the other person, but because their friends convince each separately that the other one is in love with them. And then hilarity ensues as they reinterpret all the other's actions in light of one sided love, and magnanimously decide to help them from their misery by reciprocating.

Thank you for such a well-written analysis of your catnip. The utter humiliation many heroines experience actually made it difficult for me to fully embrace Kdrama when I first started watching them. Now I have somewhat become a little bit more desensitized to them with an understanding that most of the time the embarrassing situations eventually lead to character growth for most (when they are not used for cheap laughs.) Your insights will certainly help me in the future to better deal with this second-hand embarrassment!

For Dongman's ex in FMW:
The grating shamelessness of deluding yourself into assuming someone likes you… when they don't

I also find second hand embarrassment painful and often pause the drama to calm my stress, especially when the character I identify with is being humililated. It is funny when an arrogant character like Jun pyo is suffering. We all want those types to get a little comeuppance as it seems to happen so rarely in real life.

The embarrassment you feel when this happens is huge, but it's mortifying when someone else knows about your all on my own feelings especially if they encouraged you to continue them. If your feelings are reciprocated then you can flail with your friends, but if they aren't, oh the double embarrassment and feeling to crawl into a hole. In dramas, it's for our own amusement and enjoyment (even though second hand cringe is real), but in real life, oof...it might take you a while but all's good.

by your descriptions (reminders for me), i realize that i do like these situations in romcoms...
; )

embarrassing, yes -- but not to the point of it being too uncomfortable to watch. i find humor in it, as we are fallable creatures and we often do misunderstand other's reactions/responses/gestures toward us. i suppose for younger people the reality of such situations is too raw?

being older (seasoned and aged, i speak only for myself!) helps one react to our human foibles as "endearing"...

I don't often feel that someone likes me, I'm on the other end, where I don't know that someone likes me. So it's not something I can relate to, but on the other hand... Second embarrassment is something I feel, defiiinitelyyyy!

I don't enjoy this trope either. Sometimes is too painful to even watch. Especially when there is no chance that the person will like the other back.??. That's why watching that scene from Man to Man was hard but the drama did a good job of making me forget about it the next moment when Agent K is told what his next mission is.??

I open this post trying to laugh a little bit from Db's sassy writting, but none can make me not depressed due to TOP's condition now. :(
DB and all beanies, please pray for him #staystrongtop

When I saw the title, I was about to pass on reading this one (sorry, @murasakimi!) because I cannot for the life of me understand why this would be a catnip! Secondhand embarrassment is real for me, especially if it's super awkward and pitiful. (If it tickles my funny bone, I can be very forgiving. Haha!) But as I read the article, I realized what was actually the catnip you're talking about. It's not really the embarrassment but the growth of the character you're into, it's just that the embarrassment precludes the growth. Didn't really realize that! While not a catnip of mine, I do get it now why it is for some!

Actually, I feel it is always satisfying if the jerk or as @murasakimi put it, the 'self-absorbed' girl/guy get this reality check, that 'no you're not that great'. For me, this was best displayed in BOF because that conversation in the pool table, GJP had with YJ and WB, with him cockily laughing and being so sure that Jan Di kicking him was somehow a love confession, was that moment when I was truly CATNIPPED into kdramaland.

I think I only enjoy this trope sometimes. Other times...I think I feel too badly for the character. I think it just depends on how the drama decides to play it out. So its not always a catnip for me.

This trope is hilarious! I specially loved it in Faith where the heroine was so convinced that the time travelling general (played my Lee Min Ho) had a crush on her. Cue hilarious misunderstandings where the heroine was convinced that everything he did, he did with love as the ultimate motive! Of course her antics are part of what drives the hero to genuinely fall in love with her later on. So win win?

"...while Person A is pretty into it and thinks they were led there by Person B, Person B just keeps asking for directions on how to leave."

This is when the hilarity starts in earnest for me.

This is a catnip for me only when it's the male lead who is like that, and comically so, because then I want to take him down his arrogance.

Ahhhh Deok Sun and Jung Hwan I want to cry all over again. :***(

I don't like this catnip, I don't exactly hate it but I find the embarrassing situations so awkward that I can't even watch it. Facing embarrassing situations in real life make me want to crawl into a rabbit's hole & go into permanent hibernation, or most likely wish that I'd evaporate on the spot. So I just can't bring myself to enjoy it on screen . I just sit there feeling sorry. In fact this embarrassment makes me so much uncomfortable that I even skip over it in recaps. >.<

I don't often like this (I would die of cringe if such a thing was possible) but it was done well/hilariously in Legend of the Blue Sea. The delusional wannabe gf and Tae-ho...still cracks me up.

I tend to shy away from anything that induces embarrassment or cringe-y situation in dramas, example in case: cheating bf and bad breakup scene in Fight My Way and Best Hit. I can get why you'd love this catnip, Murasakimi, but I wouldn't want to see this on my screen too often.

I did, however, enjoy watching Do-ha's misunderstanding and subsequent rejection to Seol-woo, and the way Seol-woo indulged her misunderstanding. I thought it was sweet that he led her to believe he was nursing a crush on her instead of correcting her the first time. But I felt more gratified when the reversal came so quickly after he just clarified all misunderstanding, and then he had to eat his words and say cringe-y lines to hook her back, SO hilarious!

This is no catnip for me. It's so embarrassing to watch and sometimes humiliating for the character, I would say it's the opposite of catnip.

Of the shows included I only finished Reply 1988 and the Producers, but I really enjoyed reading this! You laugh at and cry with Deok Sun over her embarrassment and eventual hesitation to act on a suspected crush, but with Cindy you do see her grow from it, although I rooted for her and Seung Chan from the start. (I also thought if they kiss then they're the couple but I was wrong haha)

Personally I feel second hand embarrassment from watching these people make a fool of themselves but when it's done right (and when it's well deserved for the embarrassed party to finally grovel haha) it can be enjoyable!

Not a catnip for me either but imo one of the best usage of this troupe was in Padam Padam. The hero is an ex-convict with nothing under his belt except a violent mother and a friend err... a guardian angel(?). So when a sweet and pretty doctor enters his life, he mistook her kindness as love so he confesses but then the girl (this is a bit sad and a jerk move imo), instead of telling him he got it all wrong, showed it through her action instead. She started getting chummy with her fiance in front of him (when in reality, their relationship is not good) & started showing off that she /is/ a doctor so you know, how dare an ex-convict dream of dating her. Which prompted the best (anger) reaction ever from the hero: "What should feel sorry for myself for liking you?! You should be the one apologizing to me because you can't accept my love! Apologize now!" I feel very sad for him then. Noh Hee-kyung's script is very good btw.

Second hand embarrassment is real. I need assurance that the party who rejects will later eats his or her words badly to make up.

The first drama that came to my mind while reading this catnip is Tomorrow with you.

In the beginning of eps, when heroine (forgot the character name) thinks the hero like her, because he follows her wherever and whenever. I feel bad for her.

And not long after, the hero said he is not into her, auch...
It hurts, but what hurts more is that embarrassment

I dont think this is my kind of catnip. It just hurts so bad.

I agree that secondhand embarrassment is stressful and I sometimes have to take a pause. But this trope can be enjoyable if the person deserves a comeuppance. It makes me hurt too much when the embarrassment is on someone that's already pitiful. I do see the point about the character growth that emerges from it though, so I can see how that would be a draw.

Hmm..I guess I didn't think in terms of real life situation about the embarrassment. Because in the drama I know that the two lead will end up together so it's kind of fun to watch and wait for the hero to have a reversal. So if I take into consideration that they will not end up together then yes I would cringe too. Especially for the second lead who are actually worthy of the hero/heroine love.

Ah, the unbearable embarrassment of wrongly assuming that someone who is being extra nice to you, or staring at you a little longer than convention requires, MUST be nursing a huge crush on you. ... They aren't?

Ha, the worst is always when I don't feel the same, but boy do I mentally kick myself now for not at least building up the courage to make a move on all the times I thought a guy might've like-liked me and I like-liked him back.

when done well, a trope can be a winning trophy.

I did not watch the producers, even though I love Kim Soo Hyun and I like IU, but I read some of the recaps, and felt attracted by the change in Cindy... Maybe one day I would give this show a go...

Rewatching Empress Ki and its hilarious how the Empress Tanshiri thinks the King of Koryo loves her. Everyone around her thinks otherwise but her misinterpretations are too funny. And surprisingly make her evil self-centred character more human.